"A Promotion Part 1": (Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.) Ralph: "I have been promoted....
"Curse of The Kramdens": "Ghost": "I'm the Ghost of Shammus O' Toole. If your name is Kramden Beware! Ha ha ha!" Ed: "This is Ed Norton. Capital N-capital...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, did your first day really go well?" Ed: "It was a dark, dark day." "Hello Mom": Alice: "My...
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2": (Aunt Ethel and Fred are alone in the kitchen. A record is being played.) (Ed comes in.) Ed: "Howdy folks. I heard the phonograph...
"The Loudspeaker": (Ralph thinks he just got nominated Raccoon of The Year.) Ralph: "Alice, something happent to me today that is probably, and without a...
"Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph & Alice are fighting the rent increase by doing without heat, gas, water & electricity. Alice wants to leave.) Ralph: "I'm...
"Please Leave The Premises": Mr. Johnson: "I couldn't just ask the rent commission for me to raise the rent. I had to prove hardship." Ralph: "What did you use...
I just found this out right now. ALN's website says some of these episodes won't show, yet tvguide.com does. I don't know which one is right but here goes. ...
"Stars Over Faltbush": Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. You are the fat of the land." Alice: "Let's face it Ralph. You ARE the fat of the land." "Young At Heart": ...
I thought I would add on to my latest TV listings post. (AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large": (The crooks are in the apartment. Ralph picks up a water pistol.) Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT! STICK 'EM UP! GET 'EM UP!" (The...
"Pal O' Mine": Ed: "All I know is that my boss loves suspenders." Alice: "Trixie's right Ed. A man would rather have a ring than suspenders." Ed: "Not if his...
"Catch A Star": Alice: "Ralph, if you think that you are going to get Jackie Gleason to come to this dance of yours, you are out of your mind." Ralph: "There...
Episode #65 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "Santa and The Bookies." DVD: Attached to "Stars Over Flatbush" & "The Adoption." For a while, I thought that this...
"A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Alice: "There's an old wives' tale Ralph. 'A man works from sun-to-sun but a woman's work is never done.'" Ralph: "Good gosh!" ...
"Brother Ralph": Ralph: "You don't know how to handle money." Alice: "Of course not. I never had any practice." "Boys & Girls Together": (The gang is at a...
"The Bensonhurst Bomber": Ralph: "Why did he say to me: 'Hey Fatso, get out of the way.'?" Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits." "The Bensonhurst...
"Hello Mom": Ralph: "There was plenty of girls that were crazy about me and you know it. When I went to the beach, the used to scatter all around me." Alice:...
"Stars Over Flatbush": Ralph: "The horoscope is bigger than I am." Alice: "Nothing is bigger than you are." "The Man From Space": Ralph: "If you see me coming...
...a Honeymooners Father's Day: (Alice's parents are waiting at the Colonade Room.) Alice's Mom: "What is keeping Alice and that FAT husband of hers? They know...
Episode #67 TV: In two parts. VCR: Attached to "What's The Name?" DVD: Attached to "Hero" & "Two Tickets To The Fight." When this episode was remade as a Color...
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth": (After Ralph's idea to get the tooth out fails [him and Ed tied one side of a string on a doorknob and the other end on his tooth and...
"Please Leave The Premises": Ralph: "Is that you Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson (from outside, yells): "YES IT IS MR. KRAMDEN AND I HAVE THE SHERRIFF WITH ME. OPEN...
"Here Comes The Bride": Alice: "Ralph, how could you talk like that. Agnes had plenty of chances. Stanley wasn't the only one who wanted her to get married....
"Hello Mom": Ralph: "Cream-chipped beef again?" Alice: "Yeah, but I fixed it a new way, Ralph. I got the recipe out of a movie magazine. Its Ricardo Cortez's...
"The Man From Space": Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side." Ed: "When you walk down the street, there AIN'T no other side." ...
"Expectant Father": (Ralph thinks that he is going to be a father. He wants his new boy to be a fighter.) Ed: "Why don't you name the kid Percy?" Ralph:...
"Brother-In-Law": Alice: "My brother is as good as any member of your family." Ralph: "He is still a bum." "Man In The Blue Suit": Ed: "Hide the money under...
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