"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ed: "I would like to have my coffee with one lump." (Ed rings bell.) Thelma: "You keep ringing that bell like that and you will...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full,...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph picks up the burnt jacket.) Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?" Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn." "Ralph's...
"Young Man With A Horn": Alice: "Ed, you didn't get the job of sewer inspector?" Ed: "No. I washed out." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Alice: "A man works...
"The Sleepwalker": Ed: "With all the noise, you woke me up from a sound sleep." (Ed leaves.) Ralph: "I woke him out of a sound sleep? I woke him out of a sound...
"Principle of The Thing": (Ralph & Ed are about to redecorate the apartment.) Alice: "If you ask me, this wall shouldn't be papered. It should be padded." (She...
"Please Leave The Premises": Ralph: "Is that you Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson (from outside, yells): "YES IT IS MR. KRAMDEN AND I HAVE THE SHERRIFF WITH ME. OPEN...
"Better Living Through TV": (Ed is wearing one of Trixie's dresses.) Trixie: "Do you have to smkoe that cigar?" Ed: "Please, it's the only link left to the old...
Episode #47 TV: In two parts. VCR: Attached to "Game Called On Account of Marriage." DVD: Attached to "Game Called On Account of Marriage", "Brother-in-Law" &...
"A Man's Pride": Bill Davis: "I'm an early riser. I can come to see you between 8 and 9 am." Ralph: "You can't come to see during those times because that is...
"Principle of The Thing": Ralph: "It is that no-good janitor's fault. You take it too easy with him. You got to be tough with that type of guy. You got to tell...
Episode #11 TV: Attached to "Manager of The Baseball Team" (1953 version.) VCR: Attached to "My Fair Landlord." DVD: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings" &...
"On Stage": Ed (reading the script): "'I don't possess a mansion, a villa in France, a yacht, or a string of...'" (mispronouncing):"...'poloponies.'" Ralph...
"Opportunity Knocks, But": Ralph: "After tonight, I may have my own pool table in my apartment." Ed: "If you do, you would have to stand on the sink to make a...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
All from "The Worry Wart." #1: Ed: "The worst thing they can possibly do to you send you to the Federal pen." Ralph (coming out of the bedroom, yells): "WHY DO...
(The NJ Devils beat the Carolina Hurricanes 4-1 and the NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 4-3.) (Alice is home cleaning up.) (Trixie comes down.) Trixie:...
Episode #49 TV: In two parts? VCR: Attached to "Two-Family Car." DVD: Attached to "Champagne and Caviar", "Finger Man", "Two-Family Car" & "My Man Norton." I...
(The Carolina Hurricanes beat the NJ Devils 2-1.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the Raccoon Lodge.) Ralph: "Oh boy! The Devils blew a one game lead....
(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 1 - 0.) (Ralph & Ed watched the game in the poolroom.) Ralph: "Those Rangers are on a roll. Look at those...
"A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave...
(The NJ Devils beat the Carolina Hurricans 3-2.) (Ralph is eating lunch with Ed.) Ralph: "Did you watch the game last night Norton? It was a real nail-bitter."...
(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 4-0.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game from Ed's apartment.) Ed: "What a game Ralph. The Rangers have lost." ...
(The Carolina Hurricanes beat the N.J. Devils 4-3.) (Ralph & Ed watched the game in Ralph's apartment.) Ralph: "Oh, what a heartbreaking game. This is the...
(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 2-1.) (Ralph just watched the game. He is celebrating.) Ralph: "THE RANGERS WIN! THE RANGERS WIN!" (Alice comes...
"Be It Ever So Humble": Ralph: "When you own a house, you can go outisde, pick up some dirt and say: 'This is all mine.'" Alice: "I can go out the door right...
(The NJ Devils beat the Carolina Hurricanes 1-0.) (Alice & Trixie are in the Kramden apartment.) Trixie: "I wonder how the boys reacted when they saw the...
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