"Game Called On Account of Marriage": Alice: "You are going to that wedding Ralph. You are going to the wedding. You are going to the wedding." Ralph: "I am...
Just in case you don't know, the couch gag on the Simpsons is the opening of the show. The homage took place just after Marge hit Homer wih the car. The homage...
"TV or Not TV": Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I will be happy to live in a tent with you.'" Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement." "Funny...
"Opportunity Knocks, But": Ralph: "After tonight, I may have my own pool table in my apartment." Ed: "If you do, you would have to stand on the sink to make a...
"A Promotion Part 1": Ralph: "I know how to throw my weight around." Alice: "If you did, you wouldn't leave it where it is." "Young At Heart": Ralph: "This...
"A Matter of Record": Alice: "Ralph, I told you that I don't want you calling her that." Ralph: "Okay, you are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another...
"Oh My Aching Back": Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!" (Alice comes out.) Alice: "What was that?" Ralph: "I was just yawning." Alice:...
"The Deciding Vote": (Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.) Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl." Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ralph: "This is my guest and I'm your employer." Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP." "A Little Man...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down." Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is...
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1": Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy." Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?" "The Loudspeaker": ...
"Norton Moves In" (Color): (The Nortons come down and ask if they can spend the night since they can't stand the smell of the new paint in their house. Alice...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A...
Episode Reviews: "Sprained Thumb" (aka "Bus Accident") & "Lucky Number": Episode #39 TV: This was shown on the "Best of Gleason Special" in 1988. It was shown...
"The Deciding Vote": (Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.) Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl." Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it...
(Ralph comes home with a gleam in his eye. He bought a lap top with him.) Ralph: "Well, Norton. Our dreams of living in a rich lifestyle are right in front of...
"Operation: Protest": (Clifford just cost Ralph his job at the bus company.) Clifford (making the "Peace" sign with his fingers): "Peace." Ralph (grabbing one...
"Vacation At Fred's Landing" (1954 version): (A "real" bear comes to Ed. Ed thinks that it's Ralph in disguise. Ralph is in back of Ed.) Ralph: "Norton, I am...
"A Weighty Problem Part 1": Ralph (knocking on door): "Got any mashed potatoes out there?" (Door opens.) Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes out...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
"Alice & The Blonde": Trixie: "On the bus, there was two empty seats. Who takes those two empty seats?" Alice: "Ralph." "Alice & The Blonde": Ralph: "It just...
"Cottage For Sale Part 2": Ralph (yells): "WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK ALICE? WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK? I TOLD YOU THIS PLACE WILL LOOK BEAUTIFUL." Alice...
Episode #41 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "Alice Plays Cupid": DVD: Attached to "Alice Plays Cupid", "Cottage For Sale" and "Jellybeans." Ralph and Ed are...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full,...
"Something Fishy": Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?" Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber." "Oh My Aching Back": Ralph: "I am not the...
"Jellybeans": Ralph: "Can I use your phone?" Ed: "No, Trixie is dressing." Ralph: "But the phone is in the kitchen." Ed: "That is where she is dressing. There...
"Please Leave The Premises": Ralph: "Is that you Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson (from outside, yells): "YES IT IS MR. KRAMDEN AND I HAVE THE SHERRIFF WITH ME. OPEN...
"The Sleepwalker": Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to...
"Norton Moves In" (Color): (The Nortons come down and ask if they can spend the night since they can't stand the smell of the new paint in their house. Alice...
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