May the new year 2009 bring all Racoons health, happiness and prosperity...!! WOO WOOOO!!! Dont drink and drive (Somebody stole the bed.....the table aint ...
Episode #15 TV: Attached to "Goodnight Sweet Prince." VCR: Attached to "Cottage For Sale." DVD: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand", "Alice Plays Cupid" and "Cottage ...
"Better Living Through TV": Ralph: "This (the Handy Housewife Helper) is the key to my future. The key to my future." Alice: "Don't tell me that it has a key...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Alice: "There's an old wives' tale Ralph. 'A man works from sun-to- sun but a woman's work is never done.'" Ralph: "Good gosh!"...
"Checkup": Ed: "Has there been anything you wanted to look inside that didn't belong to you?" Ralph: "Yes. Your head." "Without Reservations": Ralph: "Get in...
"The Prowler": Ralph: "A prowler? Quick, hide your wristwatch." Alice: "It's at the jeweler's being repaired." Ralph: "Every time we need that wristwatch, it's...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph picks up a burnt jacket.) Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?" Ed: "No, that is my idea of a burn." "Opportunity...
"Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph is protesting a rent increase and wants Alice to back him.) Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?" Alice: "It's not that I...
"Alice & The Blonde": Ralph: "Oh, by the way, when Mrs. Weidmeyer comes in, it might be good if you complimented her on how she decorated this place. You know,...
"The Loudspeaker": (Ralph thinks he just got nominated Raccoon of The Year.) Ralph: "Alice, something happened to me today that is probably, and without a...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ralph: "Stop saying 'okay.' Say: 'That will be very good sir.'" Thelma: "Okay." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ralph: "This...
(The Philadelphia Eagles win the NFC Divisional Playoffs by beating the NY Giants 23-11.) (Ralph & Ed return home from Giants Stadium. The girls greet them.) ...
"A Weighty Problem Part 1": (At the Raccoon lodge, Ed goes in the "Out" door to go to the kitchen. He bumps into Ralph. Ralph & Ed have an argument about which...
"TV or Not TV": (Ralph is trying to tell Alice that he has more money in is wallet than Ed.) Ralph: "I have it here." (Ralph points to his hip pocket.) Alice:...
... that ... Super ... From Larry Surrell at sitcomsonline.com: Frank, Another great script. I can picture them in the Kramden's apartment saying those lines!...
"Norton Moves In" (Color version): (Ralph is yelling about the fact that the Nortons are staying for the night becasue the Nortons apartment stinks of new...
"Vacation At Fred's Landing": Alice: "Have you told Trixie about the change in vacation plans. I know that she wanted to go to Atlantic City." Ed: "Trixie will...
Episode #20 TV: Attached to "Ralph's Diet". VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand". DVD: Attahced to "Hot Dog Stand", "Jellybeans" and "Cottage For Sale". Before I...
(The Kramdens and Nortons are traveling to Washington D.C. in a car.) Ralph: "Boy, what special significance this Martin Luther King Day holiday has this...
(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Washington D.C. to see the presidential inauguration.) Ralph: "Wow! I can't believe that all of us are witnessing history being...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault." (Ralph is referring to the...
"The Hypnotist Part 2": Black Conductor: "You know your not going to see me again until we get to Chicago." Ralph & Ed (yell in pain and act like they were...
"Alice Plays Cupid": Alice: "I'll have you know my good man that this is what they are serving at the Eisenhower Inaugural Dinner." Ralph: "Who's catering...
"A Promotion Part 1": Ralph: "I know how to throw my weight around." Alice: "If you did, you wouldn't leave it where it is." "Young At Heart": Ralph: "This...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A...
"On Stage": Ralph: "That shows you what you know about show business. You're always talking about something you don't know anything about. Just remember this:...
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