"Stars Over Faltbush": Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. You are the fat of the land." Alice: "Let's face it Ralph. You ARE the fat of the land." "Teamwork Beats...
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth": Alice: "I read in a magazine once that 50% of pain is mental. 50% of that toothache is here (brain). The other 50% is here (mouth). ...
"The Worry Wart": Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning...
"Champagne & Caviar": (Ralph wants Ed to not be at the Kramden apartment because he is afraid he is going to embarrass Ralph when Ralph's boss gets there.) Ed:...
Episode #169 TV: One hour long musical. DVD: Attached to "Flushing Ho" & "Sees All, Knows All". Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Ralph Kramden Presents." ...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full- full,...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault." (Ralph is referring to the...
"Opportunity Knocks, But": (Ralph's boss made Ed Ralph's supervisor.) Ralph: "It's not my pride." Alice: "Well, your job is still the same." Ralph: "Let's face...
"A Promotion Part 1": (Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.) Ralph: "I have been promoted....
Wednesday's Quotes: "Rafitti, Brooklyn Style": (Ralph just walked away into the bedroom after Alice's mother dared him to fight her.) Alice's Mom (yells):...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, did your first day really go well?" Ed: "It was a dark, dark day." "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka...
Episode #171 TV: One hour long musical. DVD: Attached to "Ralph Kramden Presents" & "Flushing Ho." During Nick Clooney's intro, he talks about Shelia MacRae...
"On Stage": Ralph (reading the script and walking towards the window): "'Come here, my dear. Look out there Rachael. Say yes and all of that is yours." (Ed...
... "Young At Heart": Alice: "How can you be so icky?" Ralph: "Icky?" Alice: "You are a termite Ralph. Strickly out of the wood." "Young At Heart": Ralph:...
... "Ralph's Diet": Alice: "You had enough food for you to last five days." Ralph: "Is that so? Well, I want to live for at least six or seven days." "Alice...
"Catch A Star": Alice: "Ralph, if you think that you are going to get Jackie Gleason to come to this dance of yours, you are out of your mind." Ralph: "There...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "'One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face.'" Ed: "Never mind that. Just get me the water. I know how to wash." ...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down." Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ralph: "This is my guest and I'm your employer." Thelma: "Some guest and some employer. The SIMP and the BLIMP." "A Little Man...
Episode #173 TV: Hour (edited). DVD: Attached to "Be It Ever So Humble" & "People's Choice." Color Honeymooners Title: "Hair To A Fortune." Lost Episode Title:...
"The Man From Space": Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side." Ed: "When you walk down a street, there ain't no other side." "The...
"The Man From Space": Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side." Ed: "When you walk down a street, there ain't no other side." "The...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph picks up a burnt jacket.) Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?" Ed: "No, that is my idea of a burn." "Opportunity...
Sunday's Quotes: "A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for ...
Sunday's Quotes: "A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for ...
"Expectant Dad" & "The Adoption": Ralph: "I was named after my dad. They just called us 'Big' Ralph and 'Little' Ralph." Ed: "Who was your dad, 'Little'...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down." Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is...
The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A...
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2": (Aunt Ethel and Fred are alone in the kitchen. A record is being played.) (Ed comes in.) Ed: "Howdy folks. I heard the phonograph...
happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear hamina.. happy birthday to youooooooooooo!!!! hamina: krammar, whats marilyn monroe doing here?...
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