"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph (sarcastically): "I hope you realize that water always recedes its level." Ed: "Yes, we have heard rumors to that effect down the...
(The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-0.) (Ralph & Ed come into a pizzeria after the game. Audience applauds.) Ralph: "Boy, what a game pal. Those...
"Boys & Girls Together": Ralph: "Even the Constitution says that a man is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Ed: "But the marriage...
& "Two Below (aka "Retreat To The Basement"): Episode #150 VCR: Attached to "Hero." Before I start this review, let me say this. MPI has received a lot of...
"Oh My Aching Back": Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!" (Alice comes out.) Alice: "What was that?" Ralph: "I was just yawning." Alice:...
(The Pittsburgh Penguins wonEastern Conference Semifinals 4 games to 1 by beating the NY Rangers 3-2.) (Ralph is sad.) Ralph: "I can't believe it. The Rangers...
"Two-Family Car": Ralph: "All right. You will have the car Monday-Friday. I will have the car on the weekends." Ed: "Wait a minute. I work those days. You take...
"Dinner Guest": (Freddie Muller, Ralph's boss, is visiting along with his wife.) Ralph (to Alice): "Why did you have to tell that joke? I must have a million...
"Head of The House": (Ralph just told the newspaper's questioning photographer to print him saying that the husband is the boss of the house.) Ralph: "I'm a...
In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I would post this review. Episode #101 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "Alice & The Blonde." DVD: Attached to episodes...
(It's the morning of Mother's Day. Alice gets up angry followed by Ralph who is also angry.) Ralph: "I don't care what you say. I am NOT going to your mother's...
Episode #153 TV: This episode was shown once on TV Land in March 2000. VHS & DVD: Haven't been released on either of these formats but MPI MAY release this...
Friday's Quotes: "The Hypnotist Part 1": (Ed is hypnotized. He sees Ralph.) Ed: "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick." Ralph: "If he wasn't...
"Stars Over Faltbush": Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. You are the fat of the land." Alice: "Let's face it Ralph. You ARE the fat of the land." "Teamwork Beats...
"Hello Mom": Alice: "I want you to read this letter Ralph. It was made by a man a long time ago." Ralph (reading the letter): "'Dear Mom, I'd just thought I'd...
"The Golfer": Ralph: "I don't want you guys to tell Ed Norton about my pormotion to assistant traffic manager. He will go around blabbing about it to ...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
"Without Reservations": Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum." Alice: "What did you say?" Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum." ...
Thursday's Quotes: "TV or Not TV": (Ralph is trying to tell Alice that he has more money in is wallet than Ed.) Ralph: "I have it here." (Ralph points to his...
Episode #155 DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words Or Less" & "Poor People of Paris". Color Honeymooners Title: "Ship Of Fools." Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go." The...
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 2": (Ralph and another guy are playing pool. The guy hits the cue ball and it misses the pool balls.) Man: "It's on it's...
"Please Leave The Premises": Mr. Johnson: "I couldn't just ask the rent commission for me to raise the rent. I had to prove hardship." Ralph: "What did you use...
"Please Leave The Premises": Ralph: "Is that you Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson (from outside, yells): "YES IT IS MR. KRAMDEN AND I HAVE THE SHERRIFF WITH ME. OPEN...
"On Stage": (Ralph is thinking of how to greet the Raccoons in his letters.) Ed: "How about 'Greetings!'?" Ralph: "'Greetings?'" Ed: "Yeah, the draft board did...
"Brother-In-Law": Alice: "My brother is as good as any member of your family." Ralph: "He is still a bum." "Man In The Blue Suit": Ed: "Hide the money under...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." ...
"Young At Heart": Alice: "How can you be so 'icky'?" Ralph: "Icky?" Alice: "You are a termite Ralph. Strickly out of the wood." "A Man's Pride": Alice: "Why...
Episode #157 DVD: Attached to "Curse of The Kramdens" & "You're In The Picture" Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Confusion, Italian Style" Lost Episode...
(The Raccoons are having a Memorial Day picnic right near the East River.) Ed: "Boy, this was a swell idea of yours Ralph-ie boy to suggest that the Raccoons...
"Something Fishy": Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?" Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber." "Oh My Aching Back": Ralph: "I am not the...
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