Jack Benny Show: TV: It is shown on an episode of the Jack Benny Show. VHS: I don't think it's available. DVD: It never has been released. This sketch opens up...
Episode #124 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "The Deciding Vote." DVD: Attached to episodes #33 - 39 of the classic 39, with the original opening and closings...
"A Matter of Life & Death": (Alice laughs at Ralph's "Death letter.") Alice: "This is a riot." Ralph: "This is a riot. We will see how much of a riot it is...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down." Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is...
"On Stage": Ralph: "That shows how much you know about show business. You're always talking about something you don't know anything about. Just remember this:...
(The NY Giants won the Super Bowl by beating the NE Patriots 17-14.) (Ralph & Ed watched the Super Bowl at the Raccoon Lodge with their fellow Raccons and...
"Hello Mom": Ralph: "Cream-chipped beef again?" Alice: "Yeah, but I fixed it a new way, Ralph. I got the recipe out of a movie magazine. Its Ricardo Cortez's...
(Ralph & Ed are at the victory parade in New York.) Ralph: "There is Jeremy Shockey. There is Tom Coughlin." (The audience applauds.) Ralph: "You know, last...
"Be It Ever So Humble": Ralph: "When you own a house, you can go outisde, pick up some dirt and say: 'This is all mine.'" Alice: "I can go out the door right...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk." Ralph: "That's not a bad...
LOL Thanks for the funny quotes Gannooch!! In a message dated 2/6/2008 12:18:45 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, Gannooch@... writes: "Be It Ever So Humble": ...
Episode #126 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "Better Living Through TV." DVD: Attached to episodes #32 - #39 of the classic 39 along with bonus features like...
"Dinner Guest": Alice: "Why don't you jump out the window?" Ralph: "That is what you said yesterday." Alice: "Yeah, but you didn't do it." "A Weighty Problem...
"Cottage For Sale Part 1": Ed: "Trixie, would you stop giving me limburger cheese sandwiches for lunch?" Trixie: "I thought you liked them." Ed: "I do but the...
"The Man From Space": Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side." Ed: "When you walk down a street, there ain't no other side." "The...
In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I would post these reviews: Episode #206 TV: This episode has not been shown since its original airdate. DVD: MPI MIGHT...
"Follow The Boys": (Ed is doing a crossword puzzle outside.) Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one: House. H-o-s-e. That is...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph picks up the burnt jacket.) Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?" Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn." "A Woman's...
"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less": Alice: "We have to get rid of Happy. He's too big for this apartment." Ralph: "He's too big for a zoo." "The Loudspeaker": ...
"New Year's Eve Party Part 1": Ed: "Will you stop looking at the dark side of things? If you work on New Years Eve, you are bound to get Saint Valentine's Day...
Episode #128 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "Opportunity Knocks, But." DVD: Attached to episodes #32 - #39 of the classic 39 along with bonus features like...
(Ralph is at Burger King. He is waiting for Ed.) Ralph: "I wonder where he could be." (Ed walks in with a George W. Bush mask on. The audience laughs and ...
"The Loudspeaker": (Ralph thinks he just got nominated Raccoon of The Year.) Ralph: "Alice, something happened to me today that is probably, and without a...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type who would bend over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A Man's...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ralph: "Norton, you play gin rummy your way and I will play gin rummy my way. My way is the scientific way...
(AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as...
"Better Living Through TV": Ralph: "All right Alice, don't give me the money and if you don't, I am walking out that door! And once I walk out that door it is...
"Sleepy Time Gal": (Ed & Ralph are trying to think of a way to get that woman, as they refer to her as, out of the phone booth. Unbeknownst to them, the woman...
Episode #130 TV: Half-hour. VCR: Attached to "A Matter of Record." DVD: Attached to episodes #32 - #39 of the classic 39 along with bonus features like the...
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