TV-G All times are Eastern. (AmericanLife TV): All episodes are one hour long. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice...
"A Dog's Life": Alice: "I am beginning to think that these Raccoon emergency meetings are nothing more than a poker game." Ed: "Alice, I am surprised to even...
"Vacation At Fred's Landing": Ed (looking at a map): "Here's New York City, that is where we started from. Then we go through the Lincoln Tunnel. This black...
"Hello Mom": Ralph: "Cream-chipped beef again?" Alice: "Yeah, but I fixed it a new way, Ralph. I got the recipe out of a movie magazine. Its Ricardo Cortez's...
"Please Leave The Premises": Mr. Johnson: "I couldn't just ask the rent commission for me to raise the rent. I had to prove hardship." Ralph: "What did you use...
..."The Deciding Vote": In honor of Election Day, I thought I would repost these reviews. Episode #21 TV: One hour (edited.) DVD: MPI is supposedly going to...
"The Bensonhurst Bomber": (Harvey just saw Ralph "KO" somebody.) Harvey: "That is some punch you got there." Ralph: "It wasn't anything. I hurt him with my bad...
All Color quotes from "The People's Choice": #1 (Ralph looks outside the window as Ed blows air into his paper bag and pops it. Ralph thinks that he has been...
"A Weighty Problem Part 1": Ralph (knocking on door): "Got any mashed potatoes out there?" (Door opens.) Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes out...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down." Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is...
"House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): Alice: "I got Ralph a new belt. I want to make sure it fits." Trixie: "If it doesn't, you can always exchange it for...
All C39 from "Please Leave The Premises": #1: Mr. Johnson: "The rent commission gave me permission to raise the rent. My reasons are right there in that note."...
"Please Leave The Premises": Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?" Alice: "It's not my fault Ralph. It's just that there isn't any room back there." "Dial J...
"Sleepy Time Gal": (Ralph and Ed arrive in the Kramdens apartment. Ralph thinks that Alice is asleep in the bedroom.) Ralph (whispering): "Shhh! Alice is...
"My Fair Landlord": (Ed comes in with a Mickey Mouse hat on.) Ralph: "What are you supposed to be?" Ed: "I'm a Merry Mousketter." Ralph: "You are a Merry Nut."...
(AmericanLife TV): TV-G All times are Eastern. All episodes are one hour long. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice...
"Oh My Aching Back": Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!" (Alice comes out.) Alice: "What was that?" Ralph: "I was just yawning." Alice:...
"Stars Over Flatbush": Ralph: "Mr. Marshall, can I have a raise?" Mr. Marshall: "No." Ralph: "But, it's 11:30p." Mr. Marshall: "I don't care if it's 2:07." ...
"Funny Money": Ralph: "One of these days, you are going to push me too far." Alice's Mom: "The only thing that could push you is a bulldozer." "Life Upon The...
"Hot Dog Stand": (Ralph wants money so he can get the hot dog stand. Alice has repeatedly said no. Ralph isn't giving up.) Ralph: "Will you let me have it?...
Note: Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I decided to repost these reviews in which there is a Turkey Day reference or two. Episode #8 TV: Hour (edited). DVD:...
"Mama Loves Mambo": Alice: "You seem to have forgotten that I am a woman." Ralph: "I forgot that you are a woman? How could I? You are always yappin'." ...
"The Safety Award": Ralph: "You got to talk Trixie into taking that dress off." Ed: "I'm too young to die." "Move Uptown": Ed: "What's this Ralph?" Ralph:...
"Jellybeans": Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."...
"Mama Loves Mambo": (Ralph gives his poor excuse of a breakfast to Alice and Trixie.) Trixie: "Ed, I don't want to taste this yet. You taste it." Ed (looking...
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden": Ralph: "Help yourself to the food." (Ralph puts food that Alice cooked on his plate. Ed puts a lot more on his plate.) Ed: "I...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A...
"Love Letter": Ralph: "What was she (Trixie) holding behind her back?" Alice: "Ralph, really it was nothing." Ralph: "Alice, you don't hold nothing behind your...
"Two For The Money": Ralph: "Alice, do you realize what you just did? You are the first woman in history that has ever interrupeted the Raccoon song." Alice:...
"A Weighty Problem Part 1": Ralph: "Norton, how could I lose a few inches in height in a couple of hours?" Ed: "Maybe all that food you ate may have made you...
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