"Hello Mom": Ralph: "There was plenty of girls that were crazy about me and you know it. When I went to the beach, the used to scatter all around me." Alice:...
"Unconventional Behavior": Ed: "I don't want to take Trixie. She was away once with me on a trip. She was on my neck all the time, nagging. I couldn't go ...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "You are the type that would bend way over and pick up a pocketbook on April Fool's Day. I wouldn't." Alice: "You couldn't." "A...
"Vacation At Fred's Landing" (1954 version): (A "real" bear comes to Ed. Ed thinks that it's Ralph in disguise. Ralph is in back of Ed.) Ralph: "Norton, I am...
"A Dog's Life": Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?" Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures." "A...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "Your garbage can was half-full. When it's full-full, then I will take it down. That way, I will make one trip instead of two. ...
Hey everyone... OMG it's been so long.. never have time for this computer anymore. I was sick for quite a few months, nothing life threatening but it just...
"The Bensonhurst Bomber": Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?" Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits." "Young Man With A Horn": ...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face." Ed: "Just get me water. I know how to wash." "Ralph Kramden, Hero At...
"Man In The Blue Suit": (Ralph wants to hide the $73 that he won from poker away from Alice.) Ed: "I have an idea. Hide the $73 under the rug." Ralph: "We...
"Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph is protesting a rent increase and wants Alice to back him.) Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?" Alice: "It's not that I...
According to the Honeymooners Treasury, the character's "name" in "Confusion, Italian Style" is Harry Verderchi (sp?). I know it starts with a V. I never seen...
"A Weighty Problem Part 1": Ralph (knocking on door): "Got any mashed potatoes out there?" (Door opens.) Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes out...
"Mama Loves Mambo": Ralph: "You mean to tell me that after taking a good look at Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?" Ed: "Certainly, this...
"Whomever It May Concern": (Ralph & Ed are trying to find out how to get the letter out of the mailbox.) Ed: "I got a solution." Ralph: "What?" Ed: "You can't...
(AmericanLife TV): All episodes are one hour long. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as...
"$99,000 Answer": Ralph: "$600.00. Peanuts, peanuts, what am I gonna do with peanuts??" Alice: "Eat'em like an other elephant." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done":...
"The Golfer": Ralph: "I got enough confidence in me for the both of us." Alice: "You got enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us." "Ralph's Big Mouth"...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ed: "Wait a minute. I think I know why this dresser is so heavy. The drawers are probably loaded with junk. Why don't we take...
"Without Reservations": Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum." Alice: "What did you say?" Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum." ...
"Catch A Star": Alice: "Ralph, if you think that you are going to get Jackie Gleason to come to this dance of yours, you are out of your mind." Ralph: "There...
"Better Living Through TV": (Trixie is going downstairs to ask Alice to help her with a dress.) Trixie: "Someday Ed, you are going to ask me to do something...
I just scanned the online TV listings on Yahoo! and found out there will be a marathon this year. It will start 11:30p on New Year's Eve and end at 5pm on New...
Note: In my skit, the family member characters are based on my family. (The Kramdens & Nortons get ready to go out for Christmas Eve.) Ralph: "Are you ready...
"The Deciding Vote": Ralph: "How about the time we played baseball and you got hit in the head with a bat? How got you a cab and took you over to the hospital?...
(Ralph comes home.) Alice: "Ralph, I bet you are glad that the MTA transit strike is over." Ralph: "Hi Alice! Yes, I am in a way. I am glad that the TWU and...
Because the holiday season is upon us, I thought I would repost these episodes. Episode #10 TV: One hour long musical DVD: The color version hasn't been ...
"Honeymooners Christmas Party Part 2": Ed: "Tomorrow my relatives are coming. They will be looking at the tree." Trixie: "If I know your relatives, they will...
I think Ralph summed it up pretty good. Ralph: "You know something sweetheart? Christmas is...well it's about the best time of the whole year. You walk down...
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