"Boys & Girls Together": (Ed just offered Ralph an idea to get away from the girls later on that night.) Ralph: "That is the stupidest idea I ever heard." Ed:...
"Mama Loves Mambo": Alice: "You seem to have forgotten that I am a woman." Ralph: "I forgot that you're a woman? How could I? You are always yappin'." ...
"Checkup": Ed: "Is there anything that you wished that you could look inside and see what was inside?" Ralph: "Yes. Your head." "This Is Your Life Part 2": ...
"Young At Heart": Alice: "I want to do the things that young people do. That is what keeps you young." Ralph: "You want to do the things that young people do?...
(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from Ralph's apartment.) Ralph: "How about that? How about Norton? The Yankees win the first game of this series. They scored...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph (sarcastically explaining to Ed why his water pipes don't work): "I hope you realize that water always seeks it's level." Ed: "Yes,...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault." (Ralph is referring to the...
Note: I just called the channel and asked about the description of these episodes and the lady on the phone said: "We don't give descriptions." THOSE BUMS! I...
"TV or Not TV": Ed: "Me and Ralph tossed a coin to see who would get the TV set. He said: 'Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.' It was tails, so I lost." Ralph (to...
(Ralph is pacing back and forth in his home.) Ralph: "I can't believe it. The Yanks lost again. If they keep this up, they will lose this series. I can't stand...
Sorry for the last-minute update. I found this out while looking in the newspaper during my lunch hour today at my job. I know people don't like this movie,...
"Better Living Through TV": Ralph: "This (the Handy Housewife Helper) is the key to my future. The key to my future." Alice: "Don't tell me that it has a key...
(Ralph has just come home all happy.) Ralph (yells): "ALICE! ALICE! ALICE! WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT." Alice (imitating John Sterling):...
"Head of The House": Ralph: "There would be no America if it wasn't for Christopher Columbus." Alice: "There would be no Christopher Columbus if it wasn't for...
(The LA Angels win the ALDS 3 games to 2 by beating the NY Yankees 5- 3.) "Young Man With A Horn": Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured." Ralph:...
(AmericanLife TV): TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie...
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1": Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy." Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?" "The Next Champ": Mr....
"The Bensonhurst Bomber": Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?" Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits." "Opportunity Knocks,...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full- full,...
"Man In The Blue Suit": (Ralph wants to hide the $73 that he won from poker away from Alice.) Ed: "I have an idea. Hide the $73 under the rug." Ralph: "We...
Hello All, What's going on here? There used to be a triviia question all the time. The same picture has been there for quite a while. I think it's time for a...
I dont know Dave..?? It's like "boompf"...everyones gone!! I check in now and then but it's like something out of one of those Twilight Zone episodes. I know...
"Cottage For Sale Part 2": Trixie: "My Ed has got more brains in his little finger than Ralph has in his whole head." Ralph: "He's still an idiot." "Cottage...
"A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for ...
"Game Called On Account of Marriage": (Ralph & Ed are thinking up a way to interrupt the wedding so they might go to the World Series.) Ed: "How about...
"Cottage For Sale Part 1": (Ralph tells Alice that he will get the money for the cottage from his life insurance. Alice thinks that that is crazy.) Alice: "You...
"Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph is protesting a rent increase and wants Alice to back him.) Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?" Alice: "It's not that I...
"Finders Keepers": (Ralph & Ed are wondering how to get some money.) Ed: "How about a reward?" Ralph: "A reward?" Ed: "Yeah, I was down at the post office the...
"Mama Loves Mambo": Alice: "You seem to have forgotten that I am a woman." Ralph: "I forgot that you're a woman? How could I? You are always yappin'." "The...
"Oh My Aching Back": (Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.) Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?" Ralph: "98.6." Ed: "What...
Having problems with message search?
Fill out this form to ensure your group is one of the first to be migrated to the new message search system.
