"Cottage For Sale Part 1": Ralph: "I am not asking you for the money. The general is saying: 'Give it to me.'" (Ralph puts a bowl on Ralph's head like it was...
"The Bensonhurst Bomber": (Ralph trains for his fight with Harvey with Ed.) Ed: "Cover up your face Ralph! Cover up your face! Cover up your face!" (Ralph...
From Honeymooners.net's message board: "Just a head's up that Ed Norton will be included among the countdown of TV Land's Top 10 Neighbors, Wednesday, May 4,...
"Young At Heart": (Ralph comes out with his crazy costume.) Ralph: "Well, how about it? What do you think." Ed: "Wait a minute. Just give me time to drink this...
"Man In The Blue Suit": Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you." Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you talk to me like that?" Ed:...
"Mama Loves Mambo": Ralph: "You mean to tell me that after taking a good look at Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?" Ed: "Certainly, this...
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph picks up the iron-burnt jacket.) Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?" Ed: "No, that is my idea of a burn." "A...
"Hello Mom": Alice: "I want you to read this letter Ralph. It was made by a man a long time ago." Ralph (reading the letter): "'Dear Mom, I'd just thought I'd...
"A Promotion Part 2": Ralph: "A derrick couldn't get me out of this chair." Alice: "Oh, I good big one might be able to." "Flushing Ho": (Ed comes out with a...
"The Man From Space": Ralph: "That is the problem with you. You don't know the latest developments." Alice: "I don't know the latest developments? Who is it...
TV-G All times are Eastern. (AmericanLife TV): All episodes are one hour long. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice...
"Ralph Kramden Inc.": Alice: "I burned my finger on that stove." Ralph: "Gee, if you are not burning yourself, it's my food." "Vacation At Fred's Landing"...
"Head of The House": Ralph: "Men are responsible for the shape the world is in." Alice: "Well, I am glad to hear one of you finally admit it." "Stars Over...
"Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph just told Ed & Alice a poem that goes: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins. It's a happy man that grins. That he claims...
"Principle of The Thing": Ed: "Don't you think that I should be climbing on that ladder?" Ralph: "So, you are saying that I'm too fat to climb this ladder. Why...
"The Sleepwalker": Ralph: "I am now going to put the key under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order for you to get the key." Ed: "I got...
"Funny Money": Ralph: "Now, look Alice - I got to have the money! You know that all the members down there are my pals, my buddies, my friends - They'll throw...
"TV or Not TV": Ralph: "Who's 'sweet-ums'?" Alice: "You're 'sweet-ums.'" Ralph: "Your nuts." "Young Man With A Horn": Ralph: "I'm making a list of all my weak...
"Here Comes The Bride": Alice: "Ralph, how can you talk like that? Agnes had plenty of chances. Stanley wasn't the only one who wanted her to get married. ...
"Move Uptown": (A policeman catches Ralph and Ed trying to move after midnight and assumes that they are theives.) Ralph: "Norton, tell this policeman who I am...
(The NY Yankees beat the NY Mets 5-2.) (Ralph & Ed are watching the ballgame on TV in Ed's house.) Ed: "Ralph, take a look in this error in TV Guide. They say...
"Something Fishy": Ralph (reading): "'In order for a man to be a Raccoon, a man must have a public school diploma, must pay $1.50 initiation fee and must have...
(The NY Mets beat the NY Yankees 7-1.) (Ralph & Ed are shown sitting at Shea Stadium near the Mets dugout.) Ralph: "Norton, why are you wearing just NY Met...
"The Main Event": (Ralph & Ed are playing pool.) Ralph: "Now, what's the matter?" Ed: "I think I am going to sneeze. I don't want to spoli your shot...I guess...
(The NY Yankees beat the NY Mets 5-3.) (Ralph is watching the game at home.) Alice: "Boy Ralph, I can't believe the fight you got into yesterday at the NY...
Note: From Memorial Day to the following Thursday, I will be on a cruise to Bermuda. It should be a lot of fun. I doubt if I will be able to post quotes while...
(AmericanLife TV): TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie...
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