"Man From Space": Ralph: "You are not up on the latest developments." Alice: "I'm not? Who is it that lets your pants out every week?" "Hero Part 1": (Ralph...
Hey Dave, I love the wav. I didn't know you uploaded it. I didn't geta notice on my mail about it.. Thanks for makeing it for us .. and about the DVD if you...
TV-G All times are Eastern. (Goodlife TV): All episodes are one hour long. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice...
"Unconventional Behavior": Ed: "I don't want to take Trixie. She was away once with me on a trip. She was on my neck all the time, nagging. I couldn't go ...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault." (Ralph is referring to the...
"Move Uptown": Ed: "I would like to have a toast." Ralph: "You know that is awfully nice of you Norton. I would like to have a toast with you." Ed: "Good. Got...
"Teamwork Beats The Clock": Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders." Alice: "You're carrying the load all right, but it's not on your ...
"Songs & Witty Sayings Part 1": (Ed is behind Ralph.) Ralph (to Alice): "Napolean had Josephine behind him. Who do I have behind me?" (yells): "DON'T YOU...
"Oh My Aching Back": (Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.) Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?" Ralph: "98.6." Ed: "What...
"Head of The House": Ralph: "Men are responsible for the shape the world is in." Alice: "Well, I am glad to hear one of you finally admit it." "The Next...
"Without Reservations": Ralph: "I'm the boss. You're nothing." Alice: "Big deal. You're the boss over nothing." "Flushing Ho": (Ralph goes to the window and...
"Out of Sight, Out of Mind": Ed: "You can't put a square box in a round hole." Ralph: "No? Then how did you get your head in your hat?" "A Matter of Life and...
The honeymooners.net message board is in a shambles. Does anyone know what is being done to repair it? "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph is trying to...
"Peacemaker": Ralph: "You know it takes me one hour to get to sleep when I put my head down on the pillow." Alice: "Remarkable. Everynight you snore for 59...
"New Year's Eve Party Part 1": Ed: "Will you stop looking at the dark side of things? If you work on New Years Eve, you are bound to get Saint Valentine's Day...
"Finders Keepers": Ralph: "I don't even want to discuss it with you, Alice. It's just another shattered dream. That's what you did tonight - you shattered ...
TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. All episodes...
"Better Living Through TV": Ralph: "Just remember, you can't put your arms around a memory." Alice: "I can't even put my arm around you." "Expectant Father" &...
"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (a.k.a. "Trapped"): (Ralph is playing pool.) Ralph: "I just sunk in 18 balls to tie the house record and I am now going to break...
"Alice & The Blonde": Trixie: "On the bus, there was two empty seats. Who takes those two empty seats?" Alice: "Ralph." "Alice & The Blonde": Ralph: "It just...
"A Matter of Life & Death": (Alice looks at the letter that Ralph claims says that he will die. She laughs because it's for her mom's dog, Ginger.) Alice:...
"Box Top Kid Part 1": (Ralph is trying to participate in a contest where you have to guess the name of a U.S. President.) Ralph: "There is a picutre of a woman...
"Man In The Blue Suit": Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you." Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you talk to me like that?" Ed:...
"The Worry Wart": Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning...
"Without Reservations": Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum." Alice: "What did you say?" Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum." ...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?" Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years...
"Hot Dog Stand": Mr. Foster: "What was your mother's maiden name Mr. Kramden?" Ralph: "Elizbeth Wharton." Mr. Foster: "Your mother's maiden name Mr. Norton?" ...
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