"New Year's Eve Party Part 2": (Ralph & Ed are in the Statler Hotel.) Ralph: "What would this place be without all of this great stuff?" Ed: "Your apartment." ...
Happy New Year Everyone..!! I hope you didnt have to much "grape juice" last night..?? You remember the last time...you had a 3 day hangover from a slice of ...
"Funny Money": (Ralph said to Alice that all the bad things that had happened were nothing.) Alice: "What about quitting your job Ralph or was that nothing?" ...
"The Babysitter": Ralph: "The bills will get bigger and bigger and I'll get less to eat. I'll start losing weight. Then do you know what I will look like?" ...
"Hot Dog Stand": Ralph: "If you don't offer me the money, I am walking out that door. Now, for the last time, are you going to offer me the money?" Alice:...
"Songwriters": Ralph: "I wear the pants around this house." Alice: "Belive me, those pants would fit around this house." "Songwriters": Ralph: "You know that I...
"Better Living Through TV": Ralph: "Just remember, you can't put your arms around a memory." Alice: "I can't even put my arm around you." "Hello Mom": Ed:...
"The Safety Award": Ed: "Someone down at the bus depot said that they were going to put on Ralph's bus a plaque that says: 'You are now driving with the ...
"The Golfer": Ralph: "How do you know so much about golf?" Ed: "In the game of golf, you have to knock the ball into holes. I have been working in the sewer...
(The NY Jets win the AFC Wild Card game by beating the SD Chargers 20- 17.) "Funny Money": Ralph: "Um, who should I call Norton?" Ed: "Why don't you try the...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that's going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow and...
"Vacation At Fred's Landing": Ralph: "Ed was only trying to help? First, he made me lose my hearing, then he electricuted me? Why don't you help me some more? ...
"Man In The Blue Suit": Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you." Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you talk to me like that?" Ed:...
"The Sleepwalker": (Both Ralph and Ed are trying to sleep in separate beds in the same bedroom. Ed has been bothering Ralph to the point where Ralph can't ...
(Ralph is on the bus with Ed.) Ed: "Ralph, how was your day?" Ralph: "Good. Just good. You know what happened? One of my passengers was a black man. He said...
"The Worry Wart": (Ralph is worried about being investigated by the I.R.S.) Alice: "You are not the first person to be investigated." Ed: "She is right. The...
(The Pittsburgh Steelers win the AFC Divisional playoffs by beating the NY Jets 20-17.) (Ralph is all upset watching TV.) Ralph: "I can't believe this. I can't...
"The Worry Wart": (Ralph and Ed are at the IRS' office.) Ralph: "The key is to be calm and cool. Calm and cool." (The IRS walks in.) IRS: "Mr. Kramden." Ralph...
"The Hypnotist Part 2": Black Conductor: "You know your not going to see me again until we get to Chicago." Ralph & Ed (yell in pain and act like they were...
"Hot Dog Stand": Mr. Foster: "hat was your mother's maiden name Mr. Kramden?" Ralph: "Elizbeth Wharton." Mr. Foster: "Your mother's maiden name Mr. Norton?" ...
"Quiz Show": Alice: "All the way home in the cab you were howling at the top of your lungs." Ralph: "I had to. There was so many boxes of Crinkley Cracks...
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?" Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years...
"Alice Plays Cupid": Alice: "I'll have you know my good man that this is what they are serving at the Eisenhower Inaugural Dinner." Ralph: "Who's catering...
"Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full- full,...
"The Worry Wart": Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning...
WOW it's gonna be a big one. maybe 2 feet. BANGZOOM!! stay safe everyone that the storm is coming to. what a good day to stay in and have a honeymooners...
"Oh My Aching Back": (Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.) Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?" Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning...
hahahah you have my sides hurtin i remember the shows i read your quotes love them thanks.and thank you all for letting me join this is a fun group ron...
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