"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"

Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are
finally washing your hands of the whole thing."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph wants to give Mr. Bartfeld a deposit. It's part of Ralph & Ed's plan to
buy the candy store from Mr. Bartfeld. Mr. Bartfeld plans on selling the store
to a different group of people called the Chock Full of Orange People.)

Ralph: "Norton, lend him $80."

Ed: "Now wait a minute. I thought that we were partners."

Ralph: "You'll get it back."

Ed: "I understand that partners should split everything 50/50."

Ralph: "Norton, would you mind lending me $40?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed lends Ralph the $40.)

(Ralph hands the money to Mr. Bartfeld.)

Ralph: "Now, there's my half. Now would you mind lending him your half?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed lends Mr. Bartfeld $40.)

Ed: "Now, you are acting like a partner."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Ralph: "This is my boss Mr. Marshall. Mr. Marshall this is my friend Ed Norton."

Ed: "How are you doing Mr. Marshall? I have heard your name in the Kramden
household many times. As a mater of fact, when Ralph was laid off last year, he
talked about you constantly."

"Lunchbox":

Ralph: "What does you have for lunch?"

Ed: "Don't ask. All I get is peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches
and more peanut butter sandwiches. I am telling you, it's terrible Ralph."

Ralph: "Why don't you complain to Trixie about it?"

Ed: "What for? I make my own sandwiches."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph looks out the window of a new apartment that him & Ed are looking to
rent.)

Ralph: "Hey Norton, this proves that this new apartment has class. Know the view
that we got from our place?"

Ed: "Yeah, the back of a Chinese restaurant."

Ralph: "Look out this window."

(Ed does that.)

Ed: "Hey, it's the front of a Chinese restaurant."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph slips on the soap that Ed dropped in the bathroom and comes out to the
kitchen with the bar of soap.)

Ed: "I see you found the soap."

Ralph: "Don't get excited Norton. I am not going to get mad. I am not going to
lose my cool. I am not even going to yell. No sir."

(Ralph takes the bar of soap and puts in between two slices of bread to make a
soap sandwich and shows Ed the soap sandwich.)

Ralph: "Eat it."

"Young Man With A Horn":

(Ralph plays the horn very badly. Previously, he tried to blow into it but there
was a sock in it.)

Alice: "I liked it better with the sock in it."

Ralph: "I like you better with a sock in you."

"The Next Champ":

Mr. Armstrong: "I got eight guys in my stable. I can make room for a
heavyweight."

Ed: "Hey, he must have a bigger kitchen then you Ralph."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Trixie: "This set is Ed's legally."

Ralph: "Oh, so it's legally his. It's legally his. What law school did you go
to? I was unaware that they had a law school at Minsky's."