"A Matter of Life & Death":
Ralph: "I am not going to die."
Ed: "You mean never?"
"Something's Fishy":
Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"
Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."
"Something Fishy":
Ralph (yells): "YOU ARE NOT GOING!"
Alice (yells): "I AM GOING!"
Ralph: "The only place that you are going to is the moon."
"Move Uptown":
Mrs. Winters: "Do you and your wife have any wild parties?"
Ralph: "No."
Ed: "He hasn't even taken his wife out in the last five years."
"The Adoption" & "Expectant Dad":
Ralph: "I was named after my dad. Nothing wrong with that. They used to call us
'Big' Ralph & 'Little' Ralph."
Ed: "Who was your dad, 'Little' Ralph?"
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ed: "I have a well-thought plan to eliminate the deficit. Secretary, would you
please strike this down in the record? As we all know, the club dues are $2 a
month and even with that the Raccons haven't been paying their dues. I see no
reason why we can't shrink the dues down to a $1 a month. Even then, if the
member's don't pay their dues, it will be cutting the deficit in half."
Ralph: "Would you mind repeating that?"
Ed: "I said the club dues are $2 a month. If we shrink the dues down to a dollar
a month...Secretary, would please erase this from the record?"
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Ed puts a beauty mark on Ralph's left cheek after the makeup put some makeup on
Ralph's eyes and lipstick.)
Ralph: "What did you just do?"
Ed: "I put a beauty mark on your left cheek."
Ralph: "Why did you do that?"
Ed: "Without it, you look exactly like Barbara Streisand."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
Ed: "Mike Douglas was down the sewer one time to present the USO Award."
Ralph: "USO Award?"
Ed: "Yeah United Sewerworkers Of."
Ralph: "Of what?"
Ed: "We don't know yet. No one will take us."
"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":
(After Ralph threatens that him and Ed are going to jump out the hotel window if
the wives don't give them the money, Ed accidentally falls out.)
Ed: "I forgot. We are on the ground floor."
Ralph: "You don't know how to fall correctly."
Ed: "I would if we were on the 15th floor."