"Alice & The Blonde":

Ralph: "Oh, by the way, when Mrs. Weidmeyer comes in, it might be good if you
complimented her on how she decorated this place. You know, she might give you a
tip on how to fix up our place."

Alice: "I could sure use her help. I just can't figure out what color pan goes
best under our ice box!"

"Dial J For Janitor":

(Ralph is making a reference to him being caught between two pipes.)

Ralph: "It wasn't my fault Alice. It wasn't my fault."

Alice: "No, it wasn't your fault Ralph. It wasn't your fault at all. You were
just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."

"Jellybeans":

(Ed eats some of the jellybeans.)

Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE! WHY ARE YOU EATING THOSE JELLYBEANS FOR?"

Ed: "What's the matter?"

(Ed spits them out.)

Ed: "What are they, poisned?"

"Hair-Raising Tale":

(One of Ralph's failed inventions that was revealed in this episode was Glow in
the Dark shoeshine polish.)

Ed: "Mr. Mitchell, would you like to try shoeshine polish that glows in the
dark?"

Ralph (yells): 'WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

"Hair-Raising Tale":

Ralph: "Bald people have money. They have brains. The more brains they have, the
less hair they got."

Alice (feeling Ralph's hair): "I rest my case."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph is about to sit on Ed's toy boat and he doesn't know it. Ed tries to warn
him.)

Ed: "Ralph..."

Ralph: "Don't talk to me. I'm not talking to you."

Ed: "Ralph..."

Ralph: "Shut up!"

Ralph (sitting on the toy boat, yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"A Matter of Record":

Alice: "I told you Ralph. I don't want you calling my mom that."

Ralph: "All right. You are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word
for 'blabbermouth.'"

"You're In The Picture":

(A man has a photo of a woman kissing Ralph.)

Man: "If you don't give me the $500, I will give this picture to your wife."

Ed: "Ralph, play it smart. Don't give him the money. Let him give the photo to
Alice then you can get it from her for nothing."

"Play It Again, Norton":

(Worthington Kenmore thinks that Treeny [Ed] is 18.)

Trixie: "I'm Treeny's (Ed's) high school sweetheart."

Worthington Kenmore: "You're kidding."