THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
July 31 & August 6, 2006
by Aaron Barnhart

NOTE: I'm on vacation this week and next.  But that's OK ... you'll need that
long to read everything from press tour!

ALL TCA JULY 2006 PRESS TOUR STORIES:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/tca_july_2006/index.html

PLEASE DON'T FEED THE HYENAS
So, Parents TV Council chief/Satan lookalike Brent Bozell thinks the Television
Critics Association owes Roger Ailes an apology for supposedly fleeing his
session at TCA ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/please_dont_fee.html

"NIP/TUCK'S" CARVER: FUN WHILE IT LASTED, BUT ...
If you are a regular viewer of the FX series “Nip/Tuck,” and you found last
season’s gory story arc involving a knife-wielding weirdo known as ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/niptucks_carver.html

FROM THE NETS TO THE NET
The new NBC comedy “30 Rock” depicts life behind the scenes at a comedy
sketch program called “The Girlie Show.” Viewers won’t actually see many
...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/from_the_nets_t.html

FOX AFFIL UN-FIRES FIREE
I guess FOX TV Stations chief Dennis Swanson's famed playbook -- the one blamed
for the recent layoffs at its KC affiliate -- didn't account ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/fox_affil_unfir.html

TV'S PRESS TOUR DE FORCE
The air conditioning broke in the middle of a heat wave. The Internet went down
on the last day of tour. And yet, it seemed ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tvs_press_tour_.html

"PRISON BREAK" REBOOTS
Left to right: Prison Break EPs Paul Scheuring and Matt Olmstead with cast
members Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller at the press session in Pasadena.
...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/prison_break_re.html

OVERHEARD AT PASADENA...
Striking Top Model writer, Rush Limbaugh's 24 heartthrob, the man from Earl. ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/overheard_at_pa.html

NBC MATH: "30" + "60" DOES NOT EQUAL 2 TIMES SNL
Right: Bradley Whitford jumps in while Matthew Perry (front) and Aaron Sorkin
react at the Studio 60 press session in California. Before we go any ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/nbc_math_30_60_.html

CARELL'S OVER-THE-TOP CRITIC
So as you may have read already, Steve Carell won an award Sunday night at the
Television Critics Association Awards, and he gave a hilarious ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/carells_overthe.html

TV BARN'S TV PICKS FOR JULY 25
Which reality show featured contestants named Darwin, Afi, Elavia and Jim (not
the one from the Doors) Morrison? A) The Amazing RaceB) The ApprenticeC) The ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tv_barns_tv_pic_14.html

ANY DAY NOW ...
The CW will finally own www.thecw.com. You'd have thought someone would have
ironed that mess out BEFORE the big announcement in January No such problem ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/any_day_now_.html

I KNOW IT'S LATE. IT'S CABLE. THEY'LL AIR AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
Today on my KMOX show, I talked with TV critic Aaron Barnhart about 2 new series
which debut tonight: Life On Mars (BBC America) and ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/i_know_its_late.html

CRAIG FERGUSON'S NEW SET
The guy who gave Jay Leno his spiffy comedy-club look designed this one,
unveiling tonight. ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/craigs_new_set.html

LIVE FROM EVERWOOD MEMORIAL PARK
On Friday, a carload of journalists including yours truly traveled to a Burbank
elementary schoolyard on a blazing hot day to witness a fan event ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/live_from_everw.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
"Oh, those Summer niiiiiights"
Copyright 2006 (C) Tom Heald
tom@...

August 1: You love him for more than Mork. This day in 1979, Robin
Williams' comedy album "Reality...what A Concept" goes Gold.

August 2: Oh yes, they call her The Streak (boogity boogity). This
morning at 8:30 a.m., in 2000, as the camera pans the crowd outside the
Today Show's "Window on the World" one tourist gives America another
view ... by taking her top off. Master Control, caught off guard
switches to another set of boobs ... the Republican Convention in
Philadelphia, and a rattled Katie Couric.

August 3: In 1995, CNN en Espanol makes its debut. Damn that NAFTA.

August 4: Thanks to a unanimous vote at FCC hearings this day in 1987,
broadcasters can officially go back to being "unfair." The rollback of
the "Fairness doctrine" allows Fox News Channel not to have to actually
present both sides of an issue, but the option of completely making up
what the opposition says.

August 5: After Bill Cosby is found guilty of assaulting a member of the
paparazzi, this day in 1994, America's Favorite Dad is fined $0.20.
Though given the ratings of "The Cosby Mysteries," he may not be able to
afford it.

August 6: In 2000, the "Keith Oberman Evening News" premieres on Fox
Sports Net. (This can't go well.)

August 7: In 1970, Chicago gets down and funky with its bad self.
Presenting "Soooooooooooooooooooooooooul Train!"

[Read Tom Heald's latest pop culture commentary at
http://www.rcweeklynews.com].

***

THE LINEUPS - Sue Trowbridge and Tom Heald (from Charlie on)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 7/31: Adam Sandler, Julie Chen, a Top Ten List presented by 2006 U.S. Open
golf winner Geoff Oglivy (R 6/19/06)
Tu 8/1: Kate Bosworth, Broken Social Scene (R 6/29/06)
We 8/2: Sandra Bullock, Widespread Panic (R 6/15/06)
Th 8/3: Anne Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, Dashboard Confessional (R 6/27/06)
Fr 8/4: Kevin Spacey, the Streets (R 6/26/06)

Mo 8/7: Meryl Streep, Yellowcard (R 6/22/06)
Tu 8/8: Dwayne Wade, Amy Sedaris, Morningwood (R 6/21/06)
We 8/9: Kate Hudson, Patrice O'Neal (R 7/17/06)
Th 8/10: Uma Thurman, Morgan Spurlock, egg-catchers Brad Freeman and Patrick
Breault (R 7/19/06)
Fr 8/11: Denis Leary, David Wright, the Wreckers (R 7/12/06)

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 7/31: William H. Macy, snake expert Jules Sylvester, Three Days Grace
Tu 8/1: Lisa Kudrow, Piers Morgan, Wolfmother
We 8/2: Dr. Phil McGraw, Aaron Eckhart, Jessica Kirson
Th 8/3: Courteney Cox-Arquette, Floyd Landis, Yung Joc
Fr 8/4: Michael Clarke Duncan, ANT, 30 Seconds to Mars

Mo 8/7: Sen. John McCain, Justin Long, Five for Fighting
Tu 8/8: Bill Maher, Ashley Tisdale, Stone Sour
We 8/9: Mariska Hargitay, Chef G. Garvin
Th 8/10: Kevin Nealon, Kristen Bell, Panic Channel
Fr 8/11: David Duchovny

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 7/31: Andie MacDowell, Boyd Matson, Cirque du Soleil's KA
Tu 8/1: Bonnie Raitt, Travis Pastrana, Randy Kagan
We 8/2: Dr. Drew Pinsky, Carnie Wilson, Tally Hall
Th 8/3: Jaime Pressly, Robbie Coltrane, Michael Franti and Spearhead
Fr 8/4: Natasha Bedingfield

Mo 8/7: Steve Carell, Cheyenne Kimball
Tu 8/8: Aaron Eckhart
We 8/9: The Editors
Th 8/10: Hank Williams Jr.
Fr 8/11: Michael Clarke Duncan, Rob Zombie

Mo 8/14: Nick Lachey
Tu 8/15: Matt Dillon
We 8/16: Alice Cooper, Penelope Ann Miller

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 7/31: Bette Midler, David Gregory (R 2/2/06)
Tu 8/1: Will Ferrell, Landon Pigg
We 8/2: John C. Reilly, Jackie Green
Th 8/3: Ice-T, Tim Gunn, Body Count
Fr 8/4: Martin Short, Ziggy Marley

Mo 8/7: Kate Beckinsale, Brian Posehn, Metric (R 1/19/06)
Tu 8/8: Regis Philbin, Christina Milian, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
We 8/9: Justin Long, Sonic Youth
Th 8/10: Matt Dillon, Jonah Hill, Guster
Fr 8/11: Courteney Cox

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 7/31: Anna Paquin, Matchbook Romance (R 5/24/06)
Tu 8/1: Brandy, Everclear
We 8/2: Nikki Reed, Bubba Sparxx featuring Mr. Collipark
Th 8/3: Leslie Bibb, Wolfmother
Fr 8/4: Vincent Pastore, Eugene Mirman, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Seether

Mo 8/7: Rerun TBA
Tu 8/8: Brooke Burke
We 8/9: Jewel
Th 8/10: TBA
Fr 8/11: Tammy Pescatelli, Cassie

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 7/31: Will Ferrell
Tu 8/1: Vali Nasr
We 8/2: Chris Paine
Th 8/3: Danny DeVito

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 7/31: Ned Lamont
Tu 8/1: Peter Beinart
We 8/2: Linda Hirshman
Th 8/3: Paul Hackett

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 7/31: Flavor Flav, Leslie Bibb, Ben Harper
Tu 8/1: Sandra Oh, Jewel
We 8/2: Cheryl Hines, Shaun White, Russell Peters, Michael Bolton
Th 8/3: Lance Armstrong, Matt Dallas, Smoosh (R 7/12/06)
Fr 8/4: Will Ferrell, Bobby Cannavale, Under the Influence of Giants

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 7/31: Kristin Davis, Dr. Bruce Katz, Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Mendoza, guest
co-host Shannen Doherty
Tu 8/1: Gene Simmons, guest co-host Shannen Doherty
We 8/2: Sally Field, Dr. Laura Berman, Nancy Grace, guest co-host Lisa Loeb
Th 8/3: Nora Ephron, Andie MacDowell, guest co-host Emily Deschanel
Fr 8/4: Cuba Gooding Jr., Dr. Stephen Judas, Michael Baden, guest co-host Tracy
Gold

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 7/31: Jewel, Chris Meloni, Raven-Symone
Tu 8/1: Will Ferrell, Paula Deanda
We 8/2: John C. Reilly, New York Knick Stephon Marbury, Cherish
Th 8/3: Danny DeVito, Five For Fighting, guest co-host Martin Short
Fr 8/4: Chef Michael Schulson, Ziggy Marley, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Michael Nouri

Mo 8/7: Jody Watley, Kristen Bell, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Tu 8/8: Christina Milian, Eddie Money
We 8/9: Semi-Finalists from "The World's Greatest Family Recipe Search", Scandal
Th 8/10: Finalists from "The World's Greatest Family Recipe Search", Rick
Springfield
Fr 8/11: Loverboy

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 7/31: Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Will Ferrell (R 12/16/06)
Tu 8/1: Vince Vaughn, Live, Taylor Hicks (R 6/2/06)
We 8/2: Kanye West, Howie Mandel, Stomp (R 5/15/06)
Th 8/3: Jason Biggs, Minnie Driver, Drew Lachey, Cheryl Burke (R 2/15/06)
Fr 8/4: Liza Minnelli, Orlando Jones, fire-eater Hillary Carlip (R 3/24/06)

Mo 8/7: Robert Downey Jr., Maura Tierney, Bob Geldof, bird trainer Sunni Black
(R 11/17/05)
Tu 8/8: Lauren Graham, Jeff Probst (R 2/14/06)
We 8/9: Jake Gyllenhaal, Carmen Electra (R 11/10/05)
Th 8/10: Tyra Banks, Betty White (R 2/16/06)
Fr 8/11: Keira Knightley, Paul Reiser (R 2/17/06)

CHARLIE ROSE SHOW, PBS
Mo 7/31 Shimon Peres, Vice Premier, Israel

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Tu 8/1 Midnight Ellen Degeneres / No Doubt
3 AM Kelly Ripa / OutKast
We 8/2 Midnight Sean Hayes / Shaggy
3 AM Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
Th 8/3 1 PM Jennifer Garner / Beck
4 PM Jennifer Aniston / Sting
9 PM & 3 AM Best of Will Ferrell volume 2
10 PM & 2 AM Will Ferrell / Queens Of The Stone Age
Midnight Britney Spears
Fr 8/4 Midnight Lindsay Lohan / Usher
3 AM Ben Affleck / N.E.R.D.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 8/5 Natalie Portman / Fall Out Boy (OAD 3/4/06)

ROBIN WILLAMS GOES FOR THE OSCAR,
August 2006 "The Night Listener"
March 2007 "The Night Watcher"
July 2008 "The Night Toucher"
November 2009 "The Night Drinker"
February 2011 "The Night Sniffer"

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 7/31 Actor Mark Ruffalo comments on his latest projects, including
the remake of All the King's Men.
Tu 8/1 Journalist Thomas E. Ricks and producer-writer-director John Wells
We 8/2 CSI Miami star Emily Procter.
Th 8/3 Former Clinton speechwriter Eric Liu and actor Stephen Root.
Fr 8/4  Middle East scholar Vali Nasr, Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah
Washington and attorney Clarence B. Jones.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, IFC
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 2005/2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
July 17, 2006
Special TCA edition
------------------------

WHY CAN'T TV NEWS BE AS GOOD AS TV?
My CBS Public Eye editorial from Friday, in case you didn't see it:
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2006/07/13/publiceye/entry1802838.shtml

Get ready ... here are all my headlines from just the past seven days.

TOUGH CROWD WITH KEITH MARDER
It's an annual tradition. You've read about it. Now, hear for yourself
Keith Marder, the former WB publicist, deliver one last (?) standup
routine to ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tough_crowd_wit.html

CEA CALIENTE OVER DTV LOOPHOLE
Like my Variety-styled headline? It's the only Spanish I know. But
here's the letter from the Consumer Electronics Assn. pointing out
that Spanish-language TV is ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/cea_caliente_ov.html

THE TCA WORLD NEWS ROUNDUP
For those of you just checking in after three days, where you been?
CBS was keeping us busy all weekend. Highlights: Tim Goodman
live-blogged the ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/the_tca_world_n.html

TV BARN'S TV PICKS FOR JULY  17
"Ally McBeal" and "Reservoir Dogs" both prominently featured a K-tel
classic by which group? Blue Swede Edison Lighthouse Joe Tex Harry
Nilsson the Ozark Mountain ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tv_barns_tv_pic_8.html

LIFE IMITATES "THE WEST WING"
President Bush has tapped a former NBC executive and big-time West
Wing fan to be his communications director. I guess the Republican won
after ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/life_imitates_t.html

AHOY, KATIE
It probably hasn’t escaped your notice that Katie Couric is the new
anchor of the “CBS Evening News.” But what else do you know about ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/ahoy_katie.html

FARSCAPE: THE AUTOPSY
Fascinating news: Television Without Pity is recapping all 88 episodes
of Farscape, a show that was cancelled by Sci-Fi years ago. It's
fairly unprecedented for ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/farscape_the_au.html

EXTREME MAKEOVER: LAW & ORDER EDITION
In order to draw more young and restless viewers to his franchise, LO
creator Dick Wolf is shaking up the casts of all three shows. ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/extreme_makeove.html

THE DELIGHTFUL SIMON BAKER
The whistling psychopath on CBS's upcoming crime drama Smith gave a
piece of his mind to Melanie McFarland. Simon Baker, who was for four
years ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/simon_baker_cha.html

THE NEXT GREAT SCI-FI SHOW? I HAVE FOUND IT!
From the moment six months ago when I saw a preview of “Eureka, I knew
I would love it. Something else I love: when I’m ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/the_next_great_.html

KATIE COURIC, THE COMPACT VERSION
I've just come out of the Katie Couric press conference, and there
will be more to say about it. But right now I am on ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/katie_couric_th.html

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK (JULY 16-22)
It's a competitive week, with the ESPYs, Driving Force, the Tour de
France and America's Got Talent all in the ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/what_to_watch_t_1.html

WOODS SELLS THE GOODS
If the new legal drama “Shark” fails to draw an audience, the
salesmanship of actor James Woods will not be the ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/woods_sells_the.html

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY
On Friday night, another critic and I visited the charming Burbank
Airport Hilton for the annual Game Show Congress, where a celebrated
local live show ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/games_people_pl.html

FX CHIEF: GAVIN WILL GET HIS
The Trib's Maureen Ryan had a surprisingly candid Q-and-A with the guy
who let Tommy Gavin go ahead and rape his ex-wife on Rescue Me ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/fx_chief_gavin_.html

HEY, JAY -- WHERE'S THE LOVE?
On Thursday, Jay Leno opened his Tonight Show monologue with this joke
about our fair city:Did you hear about this? The Channel 5 news team ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/hey_jay_wheres_.html

IS SHOWTIME IN TROUBLE?
Healthy state of denial is one thing. Saying that week-old fish is the
catch-of-the-day ... that's another matter. Such was the situation on
Friday when ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/is_showtime_in_.html

TICK TICK TICK....
It's happened: A cable channel has decided to measure its ratings
minute by minute. Of course, minute ratings are nothing new: You may
recall an ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tick_tick_tick.html

TV BARN'S TV PICKS FOR JULY 15-16
While they were fighting in 'Nam, who was the lowest ranked member of
The A-Team? B.A. Faceman Hannibal Murdock ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tv_barns_tv_pic_7.html

WHAT'S MY SOCIAL LIFE LIKE ...
I'm going to the Game Show Congress in Burbank tonight for a
performance of What's My Line? Live, a clever revival of the classic
game ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/whats_my_social.html

WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP
Now that the FCC has conditionally approved the Adelphia-Time
Warner-Comcast deal, Kansas Citians are waiting for their minor piece
of business to be transacted: namely, ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/waiting_for_the.html

IN THE NEWS ... WITH THE NEWS
You may have read at Romenesko that Katie Couric's listening tour is
being held without any local news media opportunities. (Other than
glimpses from insiders ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/we_can_make_tv_.html

"SOUTH PARK" ONCE MORE UNCLOSETED
Once again, the creators of the viciously satirical cartoon “South
Park” had the last ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/south_park_once.html

SPIKE LEE TO GIVE VOICE TO KATRINA'S VICTIMS
Spike Lee was in Venice, of all places, when the levees broke. Sitting
in his hotel room in the submerged Italian city, where he was ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/spike_lee_to_gi.html

TV BARN'S TV PICKS FOR JULY 14
Jack Shephard, Lost's doctor, was originally intended to die in the
first episode. Who did they want to play the character, when it wasn't
a ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tv_barns_tv_pic_6.html

COWARDLY BUT NOT CHICKENBLEEP
Matt and Trey had a lively session, most of which predictably revolved
around the decision to put the Scientology episode of South Park back
into ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/cowardly_but_no.html

IN LOCAL MONOLOGUE JOKE MATERIAL...
Good news, Kansas City! You lead off Jay Leno's monologue tonight. Now
for the bad ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/in_local_monolo.html

"VIEW" DOWNSIZES, THEN SUPERSIZES
It may have been the least-watched week of television in four-network
history, but last week also marked the highest demographic number The
View has ever ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/view_downsizes_.html

PR PITCH OF THE DAY
Find out how the Ari Golds of the world can keep up with the fast
track of business by utilizing a technology that integrates fax, ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/pr_pitch_of_the.html

EYE EYE
1. I'm this week's Outside Voices commentator at the CBS News Public
Eye website. I'll post a link when it goes up on Friday. (Re: ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/eye_eye.html

BUT I'M NOT A MISOGYNIST.
To no one's real surprise, Denis Leary isn't giving one inch to his
critics who say that the rape scene in a recent Rescue Me ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/but_im_not_a_mi.html

SOUTH PARK TO BE PROBED
The highlight this morning, one devoutly hopes, will be the 10:45
session with Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Ostensibly it's to promote
the 10th anniversary ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/south_park_to_b.html

HBO CHIEF REGRETS 'DEADWOOD' MESS
In this age of government-enforced prudishness, it’s kind of
surprising that a show as rough as HBO’s “Deadwood” didn’t stir up
much controversy. That is, ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/hbo_chief_regre.html

NOT SO LIVE FROM ST. LOUIS
More stuff I shoulda posted earlier: Today on my KMOX show, I talked
with TV critic Aaron Barnhart about Showtime's Brotherhood, TNT's new
Stephen King ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/not_so_live_fro.html

TV BARN'S TV PICKS FOR JULY 13
Returning after a two-day hiatus. Which of the following series titles
featured the FIRST name of its lead character? * Adderly* Booker*
Gideon's Crossing* Kojak* ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/tv_barns_tv_pic_5.html

AH, THE GOOD OLD DAYS ...
The gang at the tvbarn2 discussion list are hosting a throwback
monster thread about the future of late night TV that harkens back to
a ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/ah_the_good_old.html

NATIONAL PASTIME <> REGIONAL BLACKOUTS
Jeff Passan, formerly of our paper, explains why no one in Iowa gets
to watch a Cubs game, and what the commissioner of baseball finally ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/national_pastim.html

AND TWO PEOPLE TO HOLD DOWN HIS WIG
Winning the war on terror requires more than just grit, intelligence
and high-tech weapons. You need good lighting, too. That’s what we TV
critics learned ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/and_two_people_.html

WHY WE NEED PBS ON DEMAND
I have completely overlooked the Great Performances airing in many
markets tonight: Bruce Springsteen and his 17-piece band rocking
London to some of America's greatest ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/why_we_need_pbs.html

HUNG UP? YES
TypePad, the blogging service I'm not recommending anybody use, went
down eight hours ago. It just came back up. When I finish filing
stories, I'll ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/hung_up_yes.html

HUNG OVER? NO
As our Southwest flight touched down at LAX yesterday, the designated
goofy flight attendant (the one who uses that by-now-rote joke about
should there be ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/hung_over_no.html

JUST TOUCHED DOWN....
... in southern California, endured the long (but cheap) shuttle ride
to the Pasadena Ritz-Carlton, and immediately set upon my first goal:
Find Jay Bakker. ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/just_touched_do.html

A MATCH MADE IN HELL
Ex-'Apprentice' Jennifer Murphy marries 'Extreme Makeover' dentist ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/a_match_made_in.html

ALOHA MEANS HELLO TO LOCAL OWNERSHIP
Here's a story I have no problem taking an ill-informed stand on: The
Office of Hawaiian Affairs, a state-funded agency charged with
ensuring the perpetuation ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/aloha_means_hel.html

COMING SOON: "THE ALAN PARTRIDGE FAMILY"
British comedies have an uneven record being translated to U.S.
television. Norman Lear had pretty good luck with them in the 1970s:
All in the ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/coming_soon_the_1.html

DEADEYE
Kinda makes you wonder what all the fuss about a few dirty words is on
network television when HBO can show a man's eye being ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/deadeye.html

PAGING LAZLO TOTH ...
Man writes letters to TV show. Man collects letters into book. Man
publishes book. Mindlessly simple, but there you go. And they say the
publishing ...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/paging_lazlo_to.html

***


Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
"The Summer Wind" special edition
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
tom@...

July 17 : in 1961, Dave Garroway replacement John Chancellor wakes up
for his first "Today Show" on the wrong side of the bed. By the end of
the show, he admits that he hates the show and wants out. Hugh Downs
will relieve him as NBC's AM anchor in September.

July 18 : in 1989, "My Sister Sam" actress Rebecca Schaeffer, 21, is
shot to death at her Los Angeles home by stalker Robert Bardo, who was
later sentenced to life in prison.

July 19 : in 1989, having no taste can only get you so far in the
world, so MTV opts to be fashionable late in covering the world of
expensive clothes and the twig thin models inside them with "MTV House
Of Style" hosted by Cindy Crawford.

July 20 : in 1994, with an episode predicting extinction and the ice
age, ABC sends its "Dinosaurs" to the cancellation tar pit leaving 7
unaired episodes. Jon Lovitz's cartoon alter-ego "The Critic" also
faces the ax tonight on ABC, but it lives on (briefly) as a midseason
replacement on FOX in March 1995.

July 21 : in 1978, NBC gongs Chuck Barris, but "The Gong Show" will
live on in syndication starting in September.

July 22 : in 1965, Auntie Beeb airs the first episode of the sitcom
"Till Death Us Do Part," featuring quarrelsome cockney bigot Alf
Garnett and the loons that are all in his family.

July 23 : in 1998, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" introduces its
newest character "7-Foot Groucho" (July 24 : in 1998, "Late Night with
Conan O'Brien" apologizes for having introduced its newest character
"7-Foot Groucho.")

Read Tom Heald's latest Rapid City Weekly News columns at
http://tinyurl.com/jh9ss and http://tinyurl.com/m8wjk.

***

THE LINEUPS
with Sue Trowbridge (through Ellen) and Tom Heald (the rest, including
the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 7/17: Kate Hudson, Patrice O'Neal
Tu 7/18: Regis Philbin, Bryce Dallas Howard
We 7/19: Uma Thurman, Morgan Spurlock
Th 7/20: Martin Short, Pink
Fr 7/21: Donald Trump, Nick Griffin, Sam Roberts

Mo 7/24: Colin Farrell
Tu 7/25: Greg Kinnear, Tapes 'n Tapes
We 7/26: Scarlett Johannson, Paul Teutul Jr. and Sr.

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 7/17: Heidi Klum, Seether
Tu 7/18: Cuba Gooding Jr., Chris Matthews, Ray Davies
We 7/19: Wanda Sykes, Kevin Connolly
Th 7/20: Colin Farrell, Brian Williams, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Fr 7/21: Tina Fey, Cris Collinsworth & Jerome Bettis, Tom Petty & the
Heartbreakers

Mo 7/24: Kyra Sedgwick, arctic explorers Lonnie Dupree and Eric
Larsen, Taking Back Sunday
Tu 7/25: Jaime Pressly, Keith Olbermann, Los Lonely Boys
We 7/26: John C. Reilly, Pharrell

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 7/17: Jon Cryer, Jim Short, Three Days Grace (R 6/16/06)
Tu 7/18: Tyrese Gibson, Paul Morrissey, Def Leppard (R 6/23/06)
We 7/19: Jesse James, Paul Dinello, She Wants Revenge (R 6/30/06)
Th 7/20: Toni Collette, Lawrence Block, Joe Theismann (R 7/10/06)
Fr 7/21: Tom Lennon, Jewel (R 7/6/06)

Mo 7/24: Eddie Izzard, the Buzzcocks
Tu 7/25: Kevin Smith
We 7/26: Cuba Gooding, Jr., Jurassic 5
Th 7/27: Greg Kinnear, Sammy Hagar
Fr 7/28: Seether

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 7/17: Martin Lawrence, Eliza Dushku, Soweto Gospel Choir (R 1/17/06)
Tu 7/18: Rosario Dawson, Kevin Pollak, Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs
We 7/19: Luke Wilson, Bryce Dallas Howard, Los Lonely Boys
Th 7/20: Uma Thurman, Kevin Smith, the New York Dolls
Fr 7/21: Al Gore, Paul Giamatti

Mo 7/24: Ray Romano, Sue Johanson, Jose Gonzalez (R 3/29/06)
Tu 7/25: Bob Saget, James Carville, Yellowcard (R 1/25/06)
We 7/26: Emma Thompson, Jason Priestly, Norah Vincent (R 1/26/06)
Th 7/27: Steve Carell, Sanaa Lathan, Lewis Taylor (R 1/27/06)
Fr 7/28: Meredith Vieira, Jeff Probst, Jim Gaffigan (R 2/1/06)

Mo 7/31: Bette Midler, David Gregory (R 2/2/06)
Tu 8/1: Will Ferrell
We 8/2: John C. Reilly
Th 8/3: Ice-T, Tim Gunn, Body Count
Fr 8/4: Martin Short

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 7/17: Reggie Bush, K.T. Tunstall (R 5/16/06)
Tu 7/18: Nick Cannon, Alien Ant Farm
We 7/19: Tracy Morgan, Halifax
Th 7/20: Stephen Dorff
Fr 7/21: Neil Goldman, Taran Killam, Paul Campbell, Harland Williams,
Jasper Redd, Living Things

Mo 7/24: Rerun TBA
Tu 7/25: Rerun TBA
We 7/26: Kathy Griffin, Rock Kills Kid
Th 7/27: Lance Armstrong, Bubba Sparxxx featuring Mr. Collipark
Fr 7/28: Taking Back Sunday

Mo 7/31: Rerun TBA
Tu 8/1: TBA
We 8/2: TBA
Th 8/3: Leslie Bibb
Fr 8/4: Vincent Pastore

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 7/17: Gordon Chang
Tu 7/18: M. Night Shyamalan
We 7/19: James Maguire
Th 7/20: Paul Giamatti

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 7/17: Lee Silver
Tu 7/18: Dhani Jones
We 7/19: Joe Scarborough
Th 7/20: Tom Brokaw

Mo 7/24: Howell Raines
Tu 7/25: William Donohue
We 7/26: Neal Katyal
Th 7/27: Joe Quesada

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 7/17: Terrell Owens, Rainn Wilson, Rascal Flatts
Tu 7/18: Fred Willard, Korn
We 7/19: Charles Gibson, Anna Faris, Rhymefest
Th 7/20: Rerun TBA
Fr 7/21: Allison Janney, Morgan Spurlock, Jurassic 5

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 7/17: Isaiah Washington, guest co-host Kellie Pickler
Tu 7/18: Randy Jackson, Cheyenne Kimball, guest co-host Tanika Ray
We 7/19: Joel McHale, guest co-host Kelly Rowland
Th 7/20: Los Lonely Boys
Fr 7/21: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, M. Night Shyamalan, guest
co-host Tanika Ray

Mo 7/24: Matt Dallas
Tu 7/25: Toni Collette
We 7/26: Greg Kinnear

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 7/17: Luke Wilson
Tu 7/18: Paul Giamatti, Kevin Smith
We 7/19: Rosario Dawson
Th 7/20: Bo Bice, Uma Thurman
Fr 7/21: Chef George Hirsch

Mo 7/24: TBA
Tu 7/25: Colin Farrell, Ashanti
We 7/26: Jamie Foxx, Le Toya
Th 7/27: Jesse Metcalfe, guest co-host Geraldo Rivera
Fr 7/28: Marcus Samuelsson

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 7/17: Teri Hatcher, Harold Perrineau, vocal coach Elaine Overholt
(R 5/19/06)
Tu 7/18: Ryan Seacrest, Merv Griffin, 84-year-old jackpot winner
Josephine Crawford (R 5/3/06)
We 7/19: Charlie Sheen, Pink (R 4/14/06)
Th 7/20: Penny Marshall, Alyson Hannigan, Olympic gold medalist Shaun
White, Rihanna (R 2/20/06)
Fr 7/21: Steve Carell, Betty White, the John Mayer Trio (R 1/5/06)

Mo 7/24: Sarah Jessica Parker, Anthony Hamilton (R 12/15/05)
Tu 7/25: Allison Janney, Sherri Shepherd, Mary J. Blige (R 1/26/06)
We 7/26: Elton John, Kim Raver, "American Idol" castoff Ace Young (R
4/24/06)
Th 7/27: Barry Manilow (R 2/6/06)

CHARLIE ROSE SHOW, PBS
Mo 7/17 THE LATEST ON THE MIDDLE EAST WITH Dan Gillerman, Israel�s
Ambassador to the United Nations, Anthony Shadid, Foreign
Correspondent, The Washington Post (from Beirut) and Rami Khouri ,
Editor-at-Large, The Daily Star (from Amman)

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 7/17 Midnight Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
3 AM Heather Locklear / Janet Jackson
Tu 7/18 Midnight Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson
3 AM Scott Wolf / Natalie Imbruglia
We 7/19 Midnight Lindsay Lohan / Coldplay
3 AM Chevy Chase / Live
Th 7/20 Midnight02t  Dan Aykroyd / Beyonce
3 AM Robert Downey Jr. / Fiona Apple
Fr 7/21 4 PM Topher Grace / The Killers
5 PM Luke Wilson / U2
Midnight Jeff Gordon / Avril Lavigne
3 AM Rob Lowe / Spice Girls

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

SITCOM, TVLand
Mo 7/17 Jack has to pretend he's married to Aunt Bea to inherit Mr.
Drummond's millions.
Tu 7/18 Lucy and Meathead try to win a talent contest to pay for the
inscription on their parent's anniversary gift.
We 7/19 Cliff, Norm, and Balki try to prevent the governor from eating
the poisoned salsa.
Th 7/20 Rob and Lumpy practice rushing to the hospital.
Fr 7/21 Cousin Itt and Commissioner Gordon date the Pigeon Sisters

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 7/17 Actress Toni Collette
Tu 7/18 Religious history professor Dr. Randall Balmer / Bronx
Christian Fellowship senior pastor Dr. Suzan Johnson Cook
We 7/19 Director, writer, comedian Keenan Ivory Wayans
Th 7/20 L.A. Times finance columnist Kathy Kristof / Actor Jason Clarke
Fr 7/21 Ben & Jerry's co-founder Ben Cohen / Singer, songwriter Macy Gray

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, IFC
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 2005/2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
July 10, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

I'm at L.A. covering press tour beginning Wednesday so check in often
at http://TVBarn.com

***

CATCH THEM WHILE YOU CAN
Two shows worth watching, for a limited time only.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/chappelle_and_b.html

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK
Four shows I'm recommending.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/what_to_watch_t.html

BACK ON THE LAUGH TRACK
Is prime-time comedy making a comeback?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/back_on_the_lau.html

WILL RULE CHANGES REBOOT EMMYS?
He asked, like an idiot:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/will_rule_chang.html
... and what actually happened on Thursday:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/07/emmys_fzzzzzp.html

THERE'S LOTS MORE ...
... to read about TV on the newly redesigned TV Barn site!
http://TVBarn.com


***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
"The Summer Wind" special edition
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
tom@...

July 10 : in 1948, "Hayloft Hoedown" leaps from radio to television and
becomes one of the medium's first country music showcases. Among the
relative unknowns yodelin', square dancin' , pickin' and a-grinnin' from
Philadelphia's Town Hall are Jesse Rogers, The Murray Sisters, the Ranch
Square Dancers, the Stuff Jumpers and emcee Elmer "Pancake Pete" Newman.

July 11 : in 1984, Dorian Harewood stars in the four hour syndicated
TV-movie "The Jesse Owens Story," a biography of the famed Olympian. The
film wins an Emmy, albeit for hairstyling.

July 12 : in 1970, America meets famed composer Arthur Fiedler and his
orchestra on the very first "Evening At Pops" on PBS.

July 13 : in 1984, "Brothers" makes its debut on Showtime, having been
rejected three years earlier by both ABC and NBC. The first original
sitcom on pay-cable begins with Clifford, the youngest brother of the
Waters family, coming out of the closet as one-a them there homosexuals.

July 14 : in 1979, future "Malcolm in the Middle" creator Linwood Boomer
makes the cover of "TV Guide," albeit with the rest of the cast of
"Little House on the Prairie."

July 15 : in 1968, ABC viewers learn that the citizens of steamy suburb
of Llanview only have "One Life To Live," not that this will ever
prevent any character from mysteriously returning from the dead.

July 16 : in 1990, "The Match Game" returns to the airwaves, this time
on ABC with panelist Charles Nelson Reilly, but with Ross Shafer as
host. What the ___?!?

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 7/10: Michael Douglas, John Witherspoon, The Fray
Tu 7/11: Paul Reubens, Yunjin Kim, Nelly Furtado
We 7/12: Denis Leary, New York Mets' David Wright, the Wreckers
Th 7/13: Luke Wilson, Band of Horses
Fr 7/14: Anderson Cooper, Greg Fitzsimmons

Mo 7/17: Kate Hudson, Patrice O'Neal
Tu 7/18: Regis Philbin, Bryce Dallas Howard
We 7/19: Uma Thurman, Morgan Spurlock
Th 7/20: Martin Short, Pink
Fr 7/21: Donald Trump, Sam Roberts

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 7/10: Kate Hudson, Kevin Smith, Soul Asylum
Tu 7/11: Owen Wilson, Lance Armstrong, Chris Isaak
We 7/12: Matt Dillon, Parker Posey, Smokey Robinson
Th 7/13: Rosario Dawson, Cedric the Entertainer, Dashboard Confessional
Fr 7/14: David Hasselhoff, Natalie Morales, Morningwood

Mo 7/17: Heidi Klum, Seether
Tu 7/18: Cuba Gooding Jr., Chris Matthews, Ray Davies
We 7/19: Wanda Sykes, Kevin Connolly
Th 7/20: Colin Farrell, Brian Williams, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Fr 7/21: Tina Fey, Cris Collinsworth & Jerome Bettis, Tom Petty & the
Heartbreakers

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 7/10: Toni Collette, Lawrence Block, Joe Theismann
Tu 7/11: Julie Chen, Denise Mina, Echo & the Bunnymen
We 7/12: Danny Bonaduce, Cote De Pablo, astronaut Bill McArthur
Th 7/13: Joe Mantegna, Brooks & Dunn
Fr 7/14: Nick Cannon, Family Force 5, Kyle Dunnigan

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 7/10: Darrell Hammond, Jason Schwartzman, My Morning Jacket (R
10/13/05)
Tu 7/11: Brian Posehn, Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
We 7/12: Stephen Colbert, Carlos Mencia, Lil' Ed & The Blues Imperials
Th 7/13: Paul Reubens, Rainn Wilson, David Lee Roth
Fr 7/14: Owen Wilson, Kerry Washington

Mo 7/17: Martin Lawrence, Eliza Dushku, Soweto Gospel Choir (R 1/17/06)
Tu 7/18: Rosario Dawson, Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs
We 7/19: Luke Wilson, Bryce Dallas Howard, Los Lonely Boys
Th 7/20: Uma Thurman, Kevin Smith, the New York Dolls
Fr 7/21: Paul Giamatti

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 7/10: Ian McKellen, Train (R 5/11/06)
Tu 7/11: Sarah Wayne Callies, Ben Harper (R 5/2/06)
We 7/12: Mekhi Phifer, Ben Harper (R 5/3/06)
Th 7/13: Sarah Chalke, Ben Harper (R 5/4/06)
Fr 7/14: Tom Green, Ben Harper (R 5/5/06)

Mo 7/17: Reggie Bush, K.T. Tunstall (R 5/16/06)
Tu 7/18: Nick Cannon, Alien Ant Farm
We 7/19: Tracy Morgan, Halifax
Th 7/20: Stephen Dorff
Fr 7/21: Living Things

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 7/10: Illario Pantano
Tu 7/11: John Dean
We 7/12: Shawn Wayans
Th 7/13: Owen Wilson

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 7/10: Amy Sedaris
Tu 7/11: Tony Hawk
We 7/12: Mort Zuckerman
Th 7/13: Ron Suskind

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 7/10: Ed Burns, NBA Finals MVP Dwayne Wade, Flyleaf
Tu 7/11: Tracy Morgan, Shaun Alexander, Sonic Youth
We 7/12: Lance Armstrong, Matt Dallas, Smoosh
Th 7/13: Rerun TBA
Fr 7/14: Brittany Murphy, Danica Patrick, Eagles of Death Metal

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 7/10: Doris Roberts, Jamie and Bobby Deen, guest co-host Carrie Ann
Inaba
Tu 7/11: Rita Wilson, Jeremy Jackson, Lewis Black, guest co-host Kelly
Monaco
We 7/12: Kate Hudson
Th 7/13: Diane Lane, David Foster
Fr 7/14: Shawn and Marlon Wayans

Mo 7/17: TBA
Tu 7/18: Randy Jackson, Linda Ronstadt
We 7/19: Guest co-host Katharine McPhee
Th 7/20: Los Lonely Boys
Fr 7/21: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, M. Night Shyamalan

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 7/10: Sugar Ray Leonard, Tristan Rogers
Tu 7/11: Venus Williams, the Wayans Brothers
We 7/12: Heidi Klum, Cheyenne Kimball
Th 7/13: Owen Wilson, Rainn Wilson
Fr 7/14: Cat Cora

Mo 7/17: Luke Wilson, Le Toya
Tu 7/18: Paul Giamatti, Kevin Smith
We 7/19: Rosario Dawson

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 7/10: Ray Romano, Jeff Corwin, Kelly Monaco (R 4/13/06)
Tu 7/11: Madonna, Nelly (R 2/9/06)
We 7/12: Jim Carrey, Bo Bice (R 12/13/05)
Th 7/13: Jennifer Aniston, Hugh Laurie, Kenny Chesney (R 11/11/05)
Fr 7/14: Jay Leno, David Spade (R 11/30/05)

Mo 7/17: Teri Hatcher, Harold Perrineau, vocal coach Elaine Overholt
(R 5/19/06)
Tu 7/18: Ryan Seacrest, Merv Griffin, 84-year-old jackpot winner
Josephine Crawford (R 5/3/06)
We 7/19: Charlie Sheen, Pink (R 4/14/06)
Th 7/20: Penny Marshall, Alyson Hannigan, Olympic gold medalist Shaun
White, Rihanna (R 2/20/06)
Fr 7/21: Steve Carell, Betty White, the John Mayer Trio (R 1/5/06)

CHARLIE ROSE SHOW, PBS
A SPECIAL THREE-PART SERIES BEGINS MONDAY NIGHT
Warren Buffett stunned the world when he announced he was giving his
fortune to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Charlie Rose is the
only broadcast journalist with access to Buffett and Gates on their
friendship which resulted in this historic announcement. We begin a
three part series about Warren Buffett on Monday night with a look at
the man. Tuesday night, we look at the business and the philosophy that
created his wealth. We conclude on Wednesday with a look at his
friendship with Bill Gates, which led to the combining of their vast
fortunes.
July 10, Monday - Warren Buffett: The Man
July 11, Tuesday - Warren Buffett: The Business
July 12, Wednesday - Warren Buffett: The Gift

THE PAT ROBERTSON WEATHER REPORT, 700 CLUB
Mo 7/10 Sunny, highs in the 70s, the anti-Christ is Jewish.
Tu 7/11 Partly cloudy with a 20% chance that a plague of locusts will
strike Venezuela.
We 7/12 Rain showers in the evening, The Smurfs are promoting communism.
Th 7/13 Hurricanes will strike anyone who doesn't drink my energy shakes.
Fr 7/14 It will be gusty and humid most of the day, oh wait, that's just
me.

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 7/10 11:30 PM Seann William Scott / Sum 41
3 AM Marisa Tomei / Bonnie Raitt
Tu 7/11 11:30 PM Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
3 AM John Travolta / Seal
We 7/12 11:30 PM Cuba Gooding, Jr. / Ricky Martin
3 AM David Alan Grier / Silverchair
Th 7/13 5 PM Paris Hilton /Keane
11:30 PM Matthew Perry / Oasis
3 AM Anthony Edwards / Foo Fighters
Fr 7/14 3 PM Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
11:30 PM Kate Hudson / Radiohead
3 AM Jeff Goldblum / En Vogue

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 7/10 Former Ambassador to South Korea Thomas Hubbard / Diane Ladd
Tu 7/11 Amy Liu of the Brookings Institution / Writer Chris Abani
We 7/12 Former NBA star Alonzo Mourning
Th 7/13 General Motors Design VP Ed Welburn / Filmmaker Kevin Smith
Fr 7/14 Southern Baptist Convention president
Dr. Frank Page / Ed Burns

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, IFC
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
June 26, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

WILD ABOUT HARRY - DAN, NOT SO MUCH
Master voicer and satirist Harry Shearer pays a not-so-fond-farewell
to Dan Rather.  I spoke with Harry about his new CD, "Dropping Anchors."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/id_rather_liste.html

WELCOME TO THE HOTEL AYATOLLAH
Mark Bowden's book on the Iranian hostage crisis is now a major TV docu.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/welcome_to_the_.html

WHO IS KYLE XY?
"John Doe's" younger bro, it seems.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/john_doe_versio.html

ANSWER TO "MY CANCER"
NPR's newest first-person series - starring former "Nightline"
producer Leroy Sievers -- is missing the mark.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/but_not_as_in_m.html

TIME OUT FOR NBA, NHL
Why basketball runs rinks around hockey on TV.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/time_out_for_nb.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
"The Summer Wind" special edition
Copyright 2006 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

June 27: In 1966, for mysterious reasons, the orphaned Victoria Winters
is drawn to Collinsport to be the governess of David Collins. Perhaps
the private investigator whom Burke Devlin has hired will uncover the
family's "Dark Shadows."

June 28, 1975: taping begins on the original pilot of "One Day at a
Time." So up on your feet, somewhere there's music playing.

June 29: In 1986, Wink Martindale expresses his vanity with "Bumper
Stumpers" on USA Network. It's "the show that turns a highway hobby into
challenging fun for you, and some ready cash for our players." While the
license plate-pun show is the second game Martindale's created (after
"Headline Chasers"), he leaves the hosting duties to Al DuBois.

June 30: In 1906, Congress passes the "Meat Inspection Act," which 100
years later will allow for "America's Next Top Model"

July 1: In 1958, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation begins nationally
transmitting via microwave. The evening news takes 15 minutes on a high
setting.

July 2: Sure it's 100 degrees in the shade, but what better way to watch
"The Andy Williams Show" than in your best wool sweater, this night in
1957. He'd be kind enough to watch you.

July 3: In 1974, speaking of schmaltz, CBS ties its hopes for ratings
around the "Tony Orlando and Dawn" show.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 6/26: Kevin Spacey, the Streets
Tu 6/27: Anne Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, Dashboard Confessional
We 6/28: Robert Downey Jr., Fred Willard, Martha Wainwright
Th 6/29: Johnny Depp, Broken Social Scene
Fr 6/30: Tom Brokaw, Paul Simon

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 6/26: Kate Bosworth, Damon Wayans, India.Arie
Tu 6/27: Pat Riley, Connie Chung, Guster
We 6/28: Jeremy Piven, Corinne Bailey Rae
Th 6/29: Robin Williams, Jesse James, Julie Roberts
Fr 6/30: Brandon Routh, Ziggy Marley

Mo 7/3: Kate Beckinsale, Jim Norton, She Wants Revenge (R 6/15/06)
Tu 7/4: Ellen DeGeneres, Scott McClellan, the Goo Goo Dolls (R 5/16/06)
We 7/5: Jack Black, the "Car-Parazzi kids", Hard-Fi (R 6/13/06)
Th 7/6: Dana Carvey, 8-year-old dental expert Nicholas Hearon, T.I. (R
5/26/06)

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 6/26: Regis Philbin, John Landis, Snoop and Tha Dogg Pound
Tu 6/27: Henry Winkler, Judy Greer
We 6/28: Amy Sedaris, Dave Foley
Th 6/29: Tim Robbins, T.I.
Fr 6/30: Jesse James, Paul Dinello, She Wants Revenge

Mo 7/3: TBA
Tu 7/4: TBA
We 7/5: Laurence Fishburne, Illeana Douglas, Jack's Mannequin
Th 7/6: Tom Lennon, Jewel

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 6/26: Ray Romano, Sue Johanson, Jose Gonzalez (R 3/29/06)
Tu 6/27: Bonnie Raitt
We 6/28: Kevin Spacey, Strays Don't Sleep
Th 6/29: Orlando Bloom, Cheap Trick
Fr 6/30: Kate Bosworth, Arj Barker

Mo 7/3: Donald Trump, Emily Mortimer, Susan Tedeschi (R 12/14/05)
Tu 7/4: Anthony Hopkins, Piper Perabo, Marty Stuart & His Fabulous
Superlatives (R 1/24/06)
We 7/5: Reese Witherspoon, Jon Favreau, Kevin Brennan (R 11/15/05)
Th 7/6: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab For Cutie (R 9/27/05)
Fr 7/7: Paul Giamatti, Allen Covert, Tom Papa (R 1/5/06)

Mo 7/10: Darrell Hammond, Jason Schwartzman, My Morning Jacket (R
10/13/05)
Tu 7/11: Brian Posehn, Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
We 7/12: Lil' Ed & The Blues Imperials
Th 7/13: Paul Reubens, Rainn Wilson, David Lee Roth
Fr 7/14: Owen Wilson, Kerry Washington

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 6/26: Lucy Liu, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (R 4/6/06)
Tu 6/27: Regis Philbin, David Ford
We 6/28: Dave Navarro, the Duke Spirit
Th 6/29: Stanley Tucci
Fr 6/30: Ice Cube, Louis C.K.

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 6/26: Lance Armstrong
Tu 6/27: Helen Thomas
We 6/28: Al Gore
Th 6/29: Kevin Spacey

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 6/26: Mark Bowden
Tu 6/27: Chris Matthews
We 6/28: Robert Baer
Th 6/29: Christopher Noxon

Mo 7/3: Rerun TBA
Tu 7/4: Rerun TBA
We 7/5: Rerun TBA
Th 7/6: Rerun TBA

Mo 7/10: Amy Sedaris
Tu 7/11: Tony Hawk
We 7/12: Mort Zuckerman
Th 7/13: Ron Suskind

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 6/26: Jason Alexander, Meagan Good, Jamie Kennedy
Tu 6/27: Tommy Lee, 98-year-old high school student Josephine Belasco,
Greg Fitzsimmons, the Fixx
We 6/28: George Foreman, psychotherapist Richard Cohen, Blue October
Th 6/29: Rerun TBA
Fr 6/30: Kathy Griffin, Jason Gray-Stanford, the Brand New Heavies

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 6/26: Lance Armstrong, Bob Guiney
Tu 6/27: Charles Gibson, Anthony Michael Hall
We 6/28: Mia Farrow
Th 6/29: Al and Tipper Gore
Fr 6/30: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci

Mo 7/3: Kate Bosworth, Brandon Routh
Tu 7/4: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci (R 6/30/06)
We 7/5: Jacob Young, Ami James
Th 7/6: Lauren Hutton
Fr 7/7: Robert Downey Jr.

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 6/26: Def Leppard, guest co-host Carson Kressley
Tu 6/27: Meryl Streep, Brandon Routh
We 6/28: Kate Bosworth
Th 6/29: Anne Hathaway, India.Arie
Fr 6/30: Stanley Tucci, Claudia Cohen, Rick Browne

Mo 7/3: Event planner Allana Baroni
Tu 7/4: TBA
We 7/5: Robert Downey Jr.

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 6/26: Amanda Peet, Treat Williams (R 12/8/05)
Tu 6/27: Colin Firth, Jenna Elfman (R 1/23/06)
We 6/28: Lindsay Lohan, Alicia Keys (R 12/14/05)
Th 6/29: Tom Selleck, Kristin Chenoweth, 6-year-old guitar player
Quinn Sullivan (R 1/3/06)
Fr 6/30: Kanye West, Anne Hathaway (R 1/16/06)

Mo 7/3: Tom Cruise, Jane Kaczmarek (R 5/12/06)
Tu 7/4: Brendan Fraser, Shakira with Wyclef Jean, Sherri Shepherd,
acrobatic dance team High Voltage (R 4/3/06)
We 7/5: Donald Trump, Paul Reiser, Peter Falk, the Pussycat Dolls (R
9/20/05)
Th 7/6: Paris Hilton, Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show host David
Frei, "American Idol" castoff Kellie Pickler (R 5/1/06)
Fr 7/7: Robin Williams, Wentworth Miller, Daniel Powter (R 4/27/06)

CHARLIE ROSE SHOW, PBS
Mo 6/26 Lance Armstrong
Tu 6/27 Kevin Spacey

THE DAVID MORSE SHOW, Dot TV
Mo 6/26 .--. .- .-. .. ... / .... .. .-.. - --- -. --..-- / ... .... ..
. .-.. -.. ... / .- -. -.. / -.-- .- .-. -. . .-.. .-..
Tu 6/27 . .-.. .- -.-- -. . / -... --- --- ... .-.. . .-. --..-- / .-.
.. -.-. .... .- .-. -.. / .... .- -. -.. .- .-..
We 6/28 .--- --- -. / -.. . .-.. ..-. .. -. --..-- / -.- . ...- .. -. /
... .--. .- -.-. . -.--
Th 6/29 -- .- .-. .. --- / -.-. .- -. - --- -. . --..-- / ... - ..- .--.
.. -.. / .... ..- -- .- -. / - .-. .. -.-. -.- ...
Fr 6/30 .--- .- -.-. -.- / .... .- -. -. .- / .- -. -.. / .- / ..-. .-..
--- -.-. -.- / --- ..-. / ... . .- --. ..- .-.. .-.. ...

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 6/26 11:30 PM  02m  Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
3 AM  Dana Carvey / Edie Brickell & Paul Simon
Tu 6/27 11:30 PM Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
3 AM Sinbad / Sade
We 6/28 2 AM The Rock / AC/DC
3 AM Kevin Spacey / Beck
4 AM Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band
11:30 PM The Rock / AC/DC
3 AM Christopher Reeve / Santana
Th 6/29 11:30 PM Brendan Fraser / Busta Rhymes with The Roots
3 AM John Goodman / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Fr 30 11:30 PM David Alan Grier / Snoop Doggy Dogg
3 AM David Duchovny / Rod Stewart

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 7/1 John Larroquette / Timbuk 3 (4/18/87)
Sa 7/8 Judge Reinhold / 10,000 Maniacs (2/27/88)
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 6/26 Cook Political Report's Amy Walter and British singer-songwriter
Corinne Bailey Rae, who also performs.
Tu 6/27 Former Health, Education and Welfare Secretary Joseph Califano
and The Closer star Jon Tenney.
We 6/28 Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha and professional surfer Laird
Hamilton.
Th 6/29 Critic and jazz aficionado Stanley Crouch and musical legends
Linda Ronstadt and Ann Savoy.
Fr 6/30 Medical ethicist Dr. Steven Miles and actress Eva Marie Saint,
one of the stars of the new film, Superman Returns.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, IFC
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
June 20, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

NETWORKS ON AUTO-PILOT
The network shows airing this fall look better than any class of shows
I've covered. Unfortunately, they're low on appealing characters.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14827853.htm

KIDS WITH CANCER
Just because "A Lion in the House" isn't a pick-me-up show doesn't
mean you shouldn't stop everything in your life and watch it.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14828704.htm

TROUBLE IN THE HOUSE OF FIFE
Why won't CBS let an enterprising Mayberry businessman build a statue
to a beloved "Andy Griffith" character?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/trouble_in_the_.html

ALSO AT TV BARN:
* Prez signs PBS-killing bill
* Olbermann goes Oedipal
* Requiem for a KC heavyweight
* See the hilarious comedy pilot the nets passed on
* ... and a lot more

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

June 19 : in 1976, the seven month old cable channel HBO launches a
concert series, "Standing Room Only." And who better to stand up for on
this opening night than the Divine Miss M, Bette Midler.

June 20 : in 1937, Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance" becomes
the first televised operetta, courtesy the programmers of W2XBS (later
WCBS-TV). Opera or not, the crowd inside the theatre may equal the
televised audience at this early stage of the new experimental medium.

June 21 : in 1975, the theme from "The Rockford Files" by Mike Post
enters the Billboard Top 40 charts, where it will eventually top out
at #10.

June 22 : in 1961, CBS announces it's buying the syndicated "Mr. Ed"
series and, come fall, will air it on Sunday nights right before another
communicative animal, "Lassie." (Whinnnnney!)

June 23 : in 1992, for the second year in a row, Miss Oprah Winfrey
takes home a winged statuette at the Daytime Emmy Awards. By contrast,
Miss Susan Lucci loses for the thirteenth year in a row, but does
receive a standing ovation from the crowd.

June 24 : in 1994, with Mulder and Scully scaring up ratings,
investigating the unknown, FOX launches a "serious newsmagazine" to
discover (or not) what's out there. John Marshall hosts "Encounters: The
Hidden Truth," with reenactments sharing airtime with reporting. The
show itself is reincarnated several times and plugged into a new
timeslot whenever something else on FOX fails.

June 25 : in 1990, it's may not be a "Leap" year, but to get more of an
audience for summer reruns of "Quantum Leap," NBC runs 5 nights worth of
episodes during "Leap Week."

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 6/19: Adam Sandler, Julie Chen, a Top Ten List with U.S. Open golf
winner Geoff Oglivy
Tu 6/20: Brittany Murphy, Brandon Routh
We 6/21: Amy Sedaris, Morningwood
Th 6/22: Meryl Streep, Yellowcard
Fr 6/23: Al Gore, Rock Kills Kid

Mo 6/26: Kevin Spacey, the Streets
Tu 6/27: Anne Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, Dashboard Confessional
We 6/28: Robert Downey Jr., Fred Willard, Martha Wainwright
Th 6/29: Johnny Depp, Broken Social Scene
Fr 6/30: Tom Brokaw, Paul Simon

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 6/19: Mariah Carey, Daniel Tosh, Keane
Tu 6/20: Regis Philbin, Ringo Starr, young chefs Isabella & Olivia
Girasole
We 6/21: Thomas Haden Church, Julie Scardina & Sea World animals,
Martina McBride
Th 6/22: Kevin Spacey, Taylor Hicks
Fr 6/23: Orlando Bloom, Chamillionaire

Mo 6/26: Kate Bosworth, Damon Wayans, India.Arie
Tu 6/27: Guster
We 6/28: Corinne Bailey Rae
Th 6/29: Robin Williams, Jesse James, Julie Roberts
Fr 6/30: Ziggy Marley

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 6/19: Pepe the King Prawn, Sarah Wynter, the Charlatans
Tu 6/20: Katey Sagal, David Milch, Arturo Gatti
We 6/21: Stanley Tucci, Cat Deeley, Van Hunt
Th 6/22: Regis Philbin, James Marsden, Sonya Kitchell
Fr 6/23: Tyrese Gibson, Def Leppard

Mo 6/26: Dave Foley, Snoop and Tha Dogg Pound
Tu 6/27: Henry Winkler, Judy Greer
We 6/28: Amy Sedaris
Th 6/29: Tim Robbins, T.I.
Fr 6/30: Jesse James, Paul Dinello, She Wants Revenge

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 6/19: Luke Wilson, Jack Klugman, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson (R
12/8/05)
Tu 6/20: All-American Rejects
We 6/21: Adam Sandler, the Subways
Th 6/22: Kate Beckinsale, Tyrese Gibson, iceberg climber Will Gadd
Fr 6/23: Bruce Springsteen

Mo 6/26: Tina Fey, William Moseley, James Blunt (R 12/9/05)
Tu 6/27: Bonnie Raitt
We 6/28: Kevin Spacey, Strays Don't Sleep
Th 6/29: Orlando Bloom, Cheap Trick
Fr 6/30: Kate Bosworth, Arj Barker

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 6/19: Cheryl Hines, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins (R
4/26/06)
Tu 6/20: Fiona Apple
We 6/21: Luke Perry, Jose Gonzalez
Th 6/22: Aimee Mann, the Game
Fr 6/23: Xzibit, Wild Willy Parsons, Jeff Ross, Radio 4

Mo 6/26: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/27: Regis Philbin, David Ford
We 6/28: Dave Navarro, the Duke Spirit
Th 6/29: Stanley Tucci
Fr 6/30: Ice Cube

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 6/19: Calvin Trillin
Tu 6/20: Juliet Eilperin
We 6/21: Anderson Cooper
Th 6/22: Adam Sandler

Mo 6/26: Lance Armstrong
Tu 6/27: Helen Thomas
We 6/28: Al Gore
Th 6/29: Kevin Spacey

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 6/19: Gustavo Arellano
Tu 6/20: Bart Ehrman
We 6/21: Bay Buchanan
Th 6/22: Doug Brinkley

Mo 6/26: Mark Bowden
Tu 6/27: Chris Matthews
We 6/28: Robert Baer
Th 6/29: Christopher Noxon

Mo 7/3: Rerun TBA
Tu 7/4: Rerun TBA
We 7/5: Rerun TBA
Th 7/6: Rerun TBA

Mo 7/10: Amy Sedaris
Tu 7/11: Tony Hawk
We 7/12: Lawrence Otis Graham
Th 7/13: Annabelle Gurwitch

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 6/19: Jack Black, Wolfmother (R 6/15/06)
Tu 6/20: Ozzy Osbourne, Anthony Bourdain, DJ Quik
We 6/21: Bonnie Hunt, Phil Gordon, Buckcherry
Th 6/22: Geena Davis, Louis C.K., Jeff Corwin
Fr 6/23: Mariah Carey, Rob Zombie

Mo 6/26: Jason Alexander, Meagan Good, Jamie Kennedy
Tu 6/27: Tommy Lee, 98-year-old high school student Josephine Belasco,
Greg Fitzsimmons, the Fixx
We 6/28: George Foreman, psychotherapist Richard Cohen, Blue October
Th 6/29: Rerun TBA
Fr 6/30: Kathy Griffin, Jason Gray-Stanford, the Brand New Heavies

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 6/19: Henry Winkler, Jagged Edge
Tu 6/20: Drew Lachey, Geraldo Rivera, Kathy Freston
We 6/21: Nicole Richie, Mitchell Fink
Th 6/22: David Hasselhoff, Nelly Furtado, people featured on the
series "Bridezillas"
Fr 6/23: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Phil Collins, Josh Strickland

Mo 6/26: Lance Armstrong, Bob Guiney
Tu 6/27: Anthony Michael Hall
We 6/28: Dr. Ian Smith
Th 6/29: Al and Tipper Gore
Fr 6/30: The cast of "Superman Returns"

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 6/19: 2006's "Live Wedding" (R 2/10/06)
Tu 6/20: Miley Cyrus, Wendie Malick, Corinne Bailey Rae, guest co-host
Jeff Gordon
We 6/21: All-American Rejects
Th 6/22: Adam Sandler, "Toy Guy" Chris Burns
Fr 6/23: Kate Beckinsale, Chef Tell

Mo 6/26: Def Leppard
Tu 6/27: Meryl Streep, Brandon Routh
We 6/28: George Thorogood, Kate Bosworth
Th 6/29: Anne Hathaway, India.Arie
Fr 6/30: TBA

Mo 7/3: Event planner Allana Baroni
Tu 7/4: TBA
We 7/5: Robert Downey Jr.

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 6/19: Julie Andrews, Molly Sims, 4-year-old vacuum-cleaner
enthusiast Lane Sullivan (R 12/9/05)
Tu 6/20: Paula Abdul, Jon Kelley at the Golden Globe Awards, Common (R
1/17/06)
We 6/21: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Bonnie Hunt, Brian Austin Green,
the Pussycat Dolls (R 1/12/06)
Th 6/22: Matthew McConaughey, Wynonna Judd, Matt Harding, 12-year-old
snake enthusiast Cody Fort (R 10/10/05)
Fr 6/23: Teri Hatcher, Paul Bettany (R 2/2/06)

Mo 6/26: Amanda Peet, Treat Williams (R 12/8/05)
Tu 6/27: Colin Firth, Jenna Elfman (R 1/23/06)
We 6/28: Lindsay Lohan, Alicia Keys (R 12/14/05)
Th 6/29: Tom Selleck, Kristin Chenoweth, 6-year-old guitar player
Quinn Sullivan (R 1/3/06)
Fr 6/30: Kanye West, Anne Hathaway (R 1/16/06)

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 6/19 11:30 PM Will Ferell / Queens Of The Stone Age
3 AM Robert De Niro / Destiny's Child
Tu 6/20 11:30 PM Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
3 AM Jennifer Garner / Beck
We 6/21 10 AM Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band
11:30 PM Cameron Diaz / Green Day
3 AM Kirsten Dunst / Eminem with Proof
Th 6/22 11:30 PM Bad Boys of SNL
3 AM Paul Giamatti / Ludacris
Fr 6/23 1 PM Best of Steve Martin
2  PM Best of Phil Hartman
3 PM Best of Chris Farley
4 PM Best of Mike Meyers
11:30 PM Justin Timberlake
3 AM Drew Barrymore / Macy Gray

QUANTUM LEAP, Sam
Mo 6/19 Oh boy.
Tu 6/20 Oh boy.
We 6/21 Oh boy.
Th 6/22 Oh boy.
Fr 6/23 Oh boy.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 6/24 Bill Pullman / New Edition (10/19/96)
Sa 7/1 John Larroquette / Timbuk 3 (4/18/87)
Sa 7/8 Judge Reinhold / 10,000 Maniacs (2/27/88)
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 6/19 Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts Jr. / New York Times
Sportswriter Joe Drape
Tu 6/20 Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
We 6/21 Joe Klein / Neko Case
Th 6/22 Journalist Charlayne Hunter-Gault / "Wings" star Thomas Haden
Church
Fr 6/23 Publisher, editor Victor Navasky / Professional surfer Laird
Hamilton

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
THE HENRY ROLLINS SHOW, IFC
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
June 12, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

FROM "SACRED" TO "SAVED"
David Manson, who created a controversial drama about the Catholic
Church nine years ago, is back.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/from_sacred_to_.html

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK
A new feature of mine:
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/14774544.htm

MONDAY WITH CHIP
Paul Harris is off, but the podcasts continue. Posted later today at
TVBarn.com.

STORIES YOU MISSED
Other items posted last week (and still posted) to TV Barn:
* CPB funding: It's a repeat
* Charlie Rose returning
* HBO to sponsor entire issue of mag
* The "Doctor Who" finale
* 40th anniversary of killer twister
* Local GM signs off, leaves station parting gift
* A special obit for a special guy
That and more at http://TVBarn.com.

SYMPHONY IN THE FLINT HILLS
A memorable event, which I attended and captured in pix (abundantly).
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/your_symphony_i.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

June 12 : in 1984, the Southern Baptist Convention launches the
American Christian Television Service" (ACTS). In six years, ACTS will
merge with the "Vision International Satellite Network," and two more
years later they will be renamed the Faith & Values Channel. Two more
years later, they decide on another name change -- "Odyssey."
Fortunately, the channel will find its hallmark under this final name.

June 13 : in 1975, "The Joker's Wild" takes its last spin on CBS. It
will head for syndication in 1977 after a successful stint in reruns
in Los Angeles.

June 14 : in 1993, Caesar's Palace plays host to "Caesar's Challenge."
A bizarre combination of the "Jumble" comic strip, slot machines, and
"Gladiator," it remains the best game show Ahmad Rashad has ever hosted.

June 15 : in 1948, a television legacy begins with "Winner Take All,"
the first ever Mark Goodson / Bill Todman game show. Among the show's
groundbreaking aspects : it's the first to have a returning champion,
and the first to have two players compete by locking one another out
of a question.

June 16 : in 1976, "The Jacksons," get their own summer variety series
in a showcase that's as easy as... CBS?

June 17 : in 1956, Vincent Price and Edward G. Robinson battle over
their knowledge of the art world on the "$64,000 Challenge." Price
wins, earning $32,000.

June 18 : in 1992, Lee Horsley and George Clooney are working outta
homicide on CBS's "Bodies of Evidence." After appearing in TV bombs
"Baby Talk" and "Sunset Beat," Clooney could use a hit series.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 6/12: Paris Hilton, Will Shortz
Tu 6/13: Tim Russert, Cat Power
We 6/14: Stephen Colbert, Mark Cuban, Neko Case
Th 6/15: Sandra Bullock, Widespread Panic
Fr 6/16: Robert Duvall, Tommy Tiernan, Sonic Youth

Mo 6/19: Adam Sandler, Julie Chen
Tu 6/20: Nicole Richie, Brandon Routh
We 6/21: Amy Sedaris, Morningwood
Th 6/22: Meryl Streep, Yellowcard

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 6/12: Keanu Reeves, Joey Lauren Adams, Gnarls Barkley
Tu 6/13: Jack Black, Car-Parazzi Kids, Hard-Fi
We 6/14: George Carlin, K.T. Tunstall
Th 6/15: Kate Beckinsale, Jim Norton, She Wants Revenge
Fr 6/16: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Richard Roeper, Nelly Furtado

Mo 6/19: Mariah Carey, Keane
Tu 6/20: Regis Philbin, Ringo Starr, young chefs Isabella & Olivia
Girasole
We 6/21: Thomas Haden Church, Julie Scardina & Sea World animals
Th 6/22: Kevin Spacey, Taylor Hicks
Fr 6/23: Orlando Bloom, Chamillionaire

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 6/12: Sara Rue, Anthony Michael Hall, Secret Machines
Tu 6/13: Anderson Cooper, Mercedes Ruehl, Dan Cummins
We 6/14: Lorraine Bracco, Kevin Connolly, Jamie Jenson
Th 6/15: Tony Shalhoub, Lucy Davis, Echo & the Bunnymen
Fr 6/16: Tyrese Gibson, Jim Short, Three Days Grace

Mo 6/19: The Charlatans
Tu 6/20: David Milch
We 6/21: Stanley Tucci, Van Hunt
Th 6/22: Regis Philbin, Sonya Kitchell

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 6/12: Lindsay Lohan, Colin Hanks, Coldplay (R 12/7/05)
Tu 6/13: Julia Stiles, Louis C.K., Be Your Own Pet
We 6/14: Morgan Pressel, Regina Spektor
Th 6/15: Dane Cook, Shaun White, Dr. John
Fr 6/16: Sandra Oh, Gordon Ramsay

Mo 6/19: Luke Wilson, Jack Klugman, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson (R
12/8/05)
Tu 6/20: All-American Rejects
We 6/21: Adam Sandler, the Subways
Th 6/22: Kate Beckinsale
Fr 6/23: Bruce Springsteen

Mo 6/26: Tina Fey, William Moseley, James Blunt (R)
Tu 6/27: Bonnie Raitt
We 6/28: Kevin Spacey, Strays Don't Sleep
Th 6/29: Orlando Bloom, Cheap Trick
Fr 6/30: Kate Bosworth, Arj Barker

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 6/12: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/13: Jon Favreau, Fiona Apple, the Like
We 6/14: Sarah Wynter, Joe DeRosa
Th 6/15: Matt Costa
Fr 6/16: Jamie Kennedy, Jolene Blalock, Dean Edwards, Him

Mo 6/19: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/20: Fiona Apple
We 6/21: TBA
Th 6/22: The Game
Fr 6/23: Radio 4

Mo 6/26: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/27: David Ford
We 6/28: The Duke Spirit
Th 6/29: Stanley Tucci

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 6/12: Thomas Friedman
Tu 6/13: Ken Mehlman
We 6/14: Tim Russert
Th 6/15: Louis C.K.

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 6/12: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Tu 6/13: Tim Flannery
We 6/14: David Sirota
Th 6/15: Michael Pollan

Mo 6/19: Jacqueline Shire
Tu 6/20: Bart Ehrman
We 6/21: Bay Buchanan
Th 6/22: Doug Brinkley

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 6/12: Dane Cook, Brett Ratner, Tyler Snyder (R)
Tu 6/13: Jaime Pressly, Xzibit, the Streets
We 6/14: Luke Perry, Jean Smart, Huey Lewis
Th 6/15: Jack Black, Wolfmother
Fr 6/16: Fiona Apple

Mo 6/19: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/20: Jeremy Piven, Anthony Bourdain
We 6/21: Bonnie Hunt, Phil Gordon
Th 6/22: Brent Simon

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 6/12: Rosie Perez, Jimmy Smits, Il Divo
Tu 6/13: Denis Leary, Dr. Drew Pinsky
We 6/14: Kevin Bacon, David Lee Roth, Chris Gardner
Th 6/15: Paris Hilton, Tim Russert
Fr 6/16: Julie Edelman

Mo 6/19: Henry Winkler, Dr. Ian Smith, Jagged Edge
Tu 6/20: Kathy Freston
We 6/21: Nicole Richie, Mitchell Fink
Th 6/22: People featured on the series "Bridezillas"

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 6/12: Julie Andrews, LC from MTV's "The Hills"
Tu 6/13: Paris Hilton, Janice Dickenson
We 6/14: Rita Wilson
Th 6/15: Keanu Reeves, Claudia Cohen
Fr 6/16: Sandra Bullock, David Krumholtz, Gordon Ramsey

Mo 6/19: TBA
Tu 6/20: TBA
We 6/21: Miley Cyrus
Th 6/22: Adam Sandler
Fr 6/23: Kate Beckinsale, Chef Tell

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 6/12: Marcia Cross, Rosie Perez (R 2/24/06)
Tu 6/13: Ron Howard, Nick Lachey, "American Idol" castoff Chris
Daughtry (R 5/16/06)
We 6/14: Diane Keaton, Colin Hanks (R 12/12/05)
Th 6/15: Reese Witherspoon, Terrence Howard, Hazel Smith (R 11/16/05)
Fr 6/16: Jack Black, Kristin Chenoweth (R 5/24/06)

Mo 6/19: Julie Andrews, Molly Sims, 4-year-old vacuum-cleaner
enthusiast Lane Sullivan (R 12/9/05)
Tu 6/20: Paula Abdul, Jon Kelley at the Golden Globe Awards, Common (R
1/17/06)
We 6/21: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Bonnie Hunt, Brian Austin Green,
the Pussycat Dolls (R 1/12/06)

CHARLIE ROSE SHOW, PBS
Mo 6/12 The return of Charlie Rose

THE OMEN REMAKE, a theatre near you
Mo 6/12 It's a pro-religion movie. If the Towne parents had listened
to the priest, truly dead set on warning them to find religion, they'd
be a lot better off.
Tu 6/13 M. Night Shylaman has forever ruined the use of the color red
for modern horror movies.
We 6/14 Katrina, 9/11, Iraq, and the current state of politics are
prophetic signs.
Th 6/15 Having raised both Rosemary's Baby and Soon Yi... Don't let
Mia Farrow babysit your adopted child.
Fr 6/16 If that kid is indeed the son of Satan (and not just one of
the screaming kids running up and down the aisles of "Cars," "Ice Age
2," or "Over the Hedge"), having his bedroom wallpapered in a pattern
of spiraling ivy in "6's" is a bad idea.
Sa 6/17 W.C. Fields may have been right after all about working with
children and animals.

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 6/12 11:30 PM Luke Wilson / U2
3 AM Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson
Tu 6/13 11:30 PM Best of Eddie Murphy
3 AM The Rock / Andrew W.K.
We 6/14 11:30 PM Conan O'Brien / Don Henley
3 AM Queen Latifah
Th 6/15 11:30 PM Jack Black / John Mayer
3 AM Christina Ricci / Beck
Fr 6/16 5 PM Lucy Liu / Jay-Z
6 PM Greg Kinnear / All Saints
11:30 PM Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie
3 AM Jackie Chan / Kid Rock

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 6/17 Jason Patric / Blind Melon (1/8/94)
Sa 6/24 Bill Pullman / New Edition (10/19/96)
Sa 7/1 John Larroquette / Timbuk 3 (4/18/87)
Sa 7/8 Judge Reinhold / 10,000 Maniacs (2/27/88)
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

TAVIS SMILEY, PBS
Mo 6/12 Former CNN Baghdad bureau chief Jane Arraf / Tichina Arnold
Tu 6/13 Fashion designer Ozwald Boateng
We 6/14 Tim Russert / Luke Perry
Th 6/15 Jazz trumpeter Christian Scott
Fr 6/16 Futurist Alvin Toffler / music from tenors Cook, Dixon & Young

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 6/12 Cherish
Tu 6/13 Bow Wow
We 6/14 RUN-DMC's Rev. Run
Th 6/15 Sandra Bullock / snowboarder Shaun White / Ne-Yo

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
June 5, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

BIGGER. BOLDER. BLABBIER.
To celebrate our new printing presses, I crank out more podcasts
than ever.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/bigger_bolder_b.html
Related link: This week's chat with Paul.
http://www.harrisonline.com/2006/06/aaron-barnhart-tv-barn-radio.htm

MORE YIELD FROM "THE SHIELD"
It's coming back:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/more_yield_from.html

BEE-DEVILED
I sat a spell in front of ABC last week.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/beedeviled.html

SHIP IT BACK
Bill Maher's new Amazon show isn't well packaged.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/06/ship_it_back.html

"LAW & ORDER: MISSING ACTORS UNIT"
Dennis Farina joins the exodus.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/lo_now_down_two.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

June 5 : in 1976, with Carol Burnett taking the summer off, CBS gives
the timeslot to "Dinah (Shore) and Her New Best Friends" -- including
future "Soap" star Diana Canova, future Broadway album producer Bruce
Kimmel, and continually odd comedian Gary Mule Deer.

June 6 : Sid Caesar, Jerry Vale, Polish dancing bears, and Gladys Knight
& The Pips are on the lineup of tonight's very last reeeeally big "Ed
Sullivan Show." Topo Gigio kisses Ed goodnight one more time, and the
show looks back on some if its bigger acts including The Beatles, The
Dave Clark Five, Jackie Mason, John Byner, Rich Little, and Richard Pryor.

June 7 : in 1965, Sony's new consumer home video tape recorder makes its
grand entrance on the market with a suitable price $995. Black and white
footage, Camera not included.

June 8 : in 1993, with everyone else on vacation NBC decides to send
James Wilder and Dan Cortese on a month-long road trip in a '61 Corvette
down "Route 66." Himbo Cortese inherits the car from his dad, Buz
Murdock (the car's owner in the original 1960-64 series). While not
necessarily crusing directly from Chicago to LA, (according to the
original theme, now replaced by Warren Zevon) the actors do get to the
City of Angels eventually, with both actors finding roles on "Melrose
Place" over the next two seasons.

June 9 : in 1951, with "Your Show of Shows" getting time off, NBC
assigns comedian Doodles Weaver (brother of NBC exec Pat Weaver) the
task of throwing together a summer variety show without any sets,
scenery, dancers or really any budget whatsoever. Left with an empty
studio, he is allowed to sneak into everyone else's studios and borrow
(aka steal) anything he wants, so long as it's used on air.

June 10 : in 1999, TBS launches "The Chimp Channel," with the premise
that talking chimps are running a major TV network. I would insert a
punchline here, but we've already spent the dough that TVBarn usually
uses to cover our lawsuits.

June 11 : in 1953, "Amos 'n Andy" finishes a two-year run on CBS, which
pleases the NAACP and other civil rights groups, who've been trying to
get the "racist" show off the air. Reruns, however, continue to air on
many stations for the next thirteen years.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 6/5: Lindsay Lohan
Tu 6/6: Bonnie Hunt, Elvis Costello and Allen Toussaint
We 6/7: Kyra Sedgwick, Al Franken
Th 6/8: Meredith Vieira, Jeremy Piven, My Morning Jacket
Fr 6/9: Michael Keaton, Wolfmother

Mo 6/12: Paris Hilton, Sonic Youth
Tu 6/13: Tim Russert, Cat Power
We 6/14: Neko Case
Th 6/15: Sandra Bullock, Widespread Panic

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 6/5: Jessica Alba, Ludacris, Bruce Springsteen
Tu 6/6: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, Tim
Russert, David Lee Roth
We 6/7: Adam Sandler, Rosie Perez, John Fogerty
Th 6/8: Al Gore, Maya Rudolph, Rihanna
Fr 6/9: Nicole Richie, Louis C.K., Poison

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 6/5: Jon Favreau, Anthony Michael Hall, Secret Machines
Tu 6/6: Patricia Heaton, Claire Fordham, the New Cars
We 6/7: Ian McShane, Joey Lauren Adams, Stanley Bing
Th 6/8: Edie Falco, David Lee Roth
Fr 6/9: Tom Everett Scott, Ludacris

Mo 6/12: Sara Rue, Anthony Michael Hall, Secret Machines
Tu 6/13: Anderson Cooper, Dan Cummins
We 6/14: Christina Milian
Th 6/15: Lorraine Bracco

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 6/5: David Spade, Neil Young (R 11/4/05)
Tu 6/6: Eric McCormack, Famke Janssen, Drive-By Truckers
We 6/7: Luke Perry, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Van Hunt
Th 6/8: Kevin Kline, Lewis Black
Fr 6/9: Denis Leary, Rita Wilson, Brandi Carlisle

Mo 6/12: Lindsay Lohan, Colin Hanks, Coldplay (R 12/7/05)
Tu 6/13: Louis C.K., Be Your Own Pet
We 6/14: Regina Spektor
Th 6/15: Shaun White
Fr 6/16: TBA

Mo 6/19: Luke Wilson, Jack Klugman, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson (R)
Tu 6/20: All American Rejects
We 6/21: Adam Sandler, the Subways
Th 6/22: TBA
Fr 6/23: Bruce Springsteen

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 6/5: Sir Ben Kingsley, Juvenile (R 4/11/06)
Tu 6/6: Fred Willard, Rihanna
We 6/7: Vince Vaughn, Juliette & the Licks
Th 6/8: Jerry Ferrara, Morningwood
Fr 6/9: Sarah Silverman, Cheech Marin

Mo 6/12: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/13: Jon Favreau, Fiona Apple
We 6/14: Sarah Wynter
Th 6/15: TBA
Fr 6/16: Jamie Kennedy, Jolene Blalock, Him

Mo 6/19: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/20: Matt Costa
We 6/21: Nelly Furtado
Th 6/22: The Game, Nelly Furtado
Fr 6/23: Radio 4

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 6/5: Caroline Kennedy
Tu 6/6: Bill Bennett
We 6/7: Bonnie Hunt
Th 6/8: Lily Tomlin

Mo 6/12: Thomas Friedman
Tu 6/13: Ken Mehlman
We 6/14: Tim Russert
Th 6/15: Louis C.K.

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 6/5: Lawrence Kudlow
Tu 6/6: Christiane Amanpour
We 6/7: Steve Squyres
Th 6/8: Steve Johnson

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 6/5: Sarah Silverman, Artie Lange, Hoobastank (R 5/19/06)
Tu 6/6: Ice Cube, Paget Brewster
We 6/7: Jessica Alba, Larry the Cable Guy, Him
Th 6/8: Rosie Perez, Jared Hess, Elefant
Fr 6/9: John C. Reilly, Gary Gulman

Mo 6/12: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/13: Jaime Pressly, Xzibit, the Streets
We 6/14: Jean Smart, Huey Lewis
Th 6/15: Jack Black, Ultimate Fighter Chuck Liddell, Wolfmother
Fr 6/16: Fiona Apple

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 6/5: Sigourney Weaver, Chris Brown
Tu 6/6: Eric McCormack
We 6/7: Lorraine Bracco, Craig Newmark
Th 6/8: Luke Perry, Jorge Cruise, Kelly Clarkson
Fr 6/9: Meredith Vieira's farewell show

Mo 6/12: Rosie Perez, Il Divo
Tu 6/13: Denis Leary, Dr. Drew Pinsky
We 6/14: Kevin Bacon, David Lee Roth, Chris Gardner
Th 6/15: Paris Hilton, Tim Russert

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 6/5: Kevin Connolly, Anna Paquin, a performance from "Sweeney
Todd", guest co-host Bryant Gumbel
Tu 6/6: Ludacris, Julia Stiles, a performance from "The Color Purple"
We 6/7: The winner of "The Apprentice", Liev Schrieber, a performance
from "The Pajama Game"
Th 6/8: Kyra Sedgwick, Charles Gibson, a performance from "The Drowsy
Chaperone"
Fr 6/9: Kevin Dillon, Bonnie Hunt, Sarah Jones

Mo 6/12: TBA
Tu 6/13: Paris Hilton, Janice Dickenson
We 6/14: TBA
Th 6/15: Keanu Reeves, Claudia Cohen
Fr 6/16: Sandra Bullock, David Krumholtz

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 6/5: Wanda Sykes, Poppy Montgomery (R 4/19/06)
Tu 6/6: Charlie Sheen, Cynthia Nixon (R 9/16/05)
We 6/7: Jane Kaczmarek, Christopher Meloni, Michael Buble (R 1/31/06)
Th 6/8: Sean Hayes, Cheryl Hines, Jason Mraz (R 2/1/06)
Fr 6/9: James Denton, Constance Marie (R 1/20/06)

Mo 6/12: Marcia Cross, Rosie Perez (R 2/24/06)
Tu 6/13: Ron Howard, Nick Lachey, "American Idol" castoff Chris
Daughtry (R 5/16/06)
We 6/14: Diane Keaton, Colin Hanks (R 12/12/05)
Th 6/15: Reese Witherspoon, Terrence Howard, Hazel Smith (R 11/16/05)
Fr 6/16: Jack Black, Kristin Chenoweth (R 5/24/06)

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 6/5 11 PM Sean Hayes / Shaggy
3 AM Jon Stewart / India.Arie
Tu 6/6 11 PM Britney Spears
3 AM Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
We 6/7 11 PM Ellen Degeneres / No Doubt
3 AM Kate Hudson / Radiohead
Th 6/8 11 PM Ben Affleck / N.E.R.D.
3 AM Joshua Jackson / 'N Sync
Fr 6/9 11 PM Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
3 AM Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 6/10 Justine Bateman / Terrence Trent D'Arby (2/13/88)
Sa 6/17 Jason Patric / Blind Melon (1/8/94)
Sa 6/24 Bill Pullman / New Edition (10/19/96)
Sa 7/1 John Larroquette / Timbuk 3 (4/18/87)
Sa 7/8 Judge Reinhold / 10,000 Maniacs (2/27/88)
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 6/5 Washington Post military affairs correspondent Thomas Ricks and
actress Julia Stiles, star of the new film remake, The Omen.
Tu 6/6 Harvard Law professor Charles Ogletree and journalist-author Tom
Sancton.
We 6/7 Delaware Sen. Joe Biden and The Break-Up producer-writer-actor
Jon Favreau.
Th 6/8 Former Homeland Security Inspector General Clark Kent Ervin and
two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author John Updike.
Fr 6/9 Actress-activist Rosie Perez and groundbreaking young pilot
Jamail Larkins.

PRICE IS RIGHT BIDS, CBS
Mo 5/29 $999, $1500, $1200, $1000
Tu 5/30 $1125, $1200, $1700, $1
We 5/31 $450, $865, $700, $701
Th 6/1 $1900, $1300, $900, $1301
Fr 6/2 $350, $600, $750, $900

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 6/5 Tony Hawk swoops in on the beach house, we take a 1st Look at
Natasha Bedingfield's new 'Single,' and peep mor Movie Awards action.
Tu 6/6 One more day until the 2006 MTV Movie Awards! We take another
look backstage--and get a 1st Look from Mario Vazquez.
We 6/7 Tyson Ritter from All-American Rejects' kicks back at the beach
with us--as we get one last preview of the Movie Awards!
Th 6/8 Grab your tights and wrestling mask--we step into the ring with
Jack 'Nacho Libre' Black!

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
MARTHA, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
May 31, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


WHO'S GONNA SAVE SUMMER?
Step aside, ma'am - it's "Rescue Me" to the rescue.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14682460.htm

IT'S O-O-O-VER
For another eight months, at least. All about the "Idol" finale:
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14660631.htm
Earlier: The big preview:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/idol_the_big_fi.html

NEW MEDIA, OLD STORY
Why closed captioning on the Internet is going to suck even worse
than it does on TV:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/from_bad_to_wor.html

And coming this week:
Bill Maher's new Amazon.com talk show, reviewed Thursday at
TVBarn.com

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

May 29 : in 1998, sex games go awry as both Lucy and Victor are arrested when
their hooker / pimp act looks too real to the police on daytime soap "Port
Charles."

May 30 : in 1994, "Evening Shade" airs its last episode leaving its
viewer saddened.

May 31 : in 1978, Betty White learns what her paid writers suggest her
husband Allen Ludden really thinks of her courtesy of the Dean Martin
Celebrity Roasts. Also able to find better things to do for the evening are
Georgia Engel and John Hillerman (from her 1977 "The Betty White Show"), Phyllis
Diller, Milton Berle, Peter Marshall, Bonnie Franklin, Dan Haggerty, Orson
Welles, Jimmie "J.J." Walker, LaWanda Page and comedy legend Abe Vigoda.

June 1 : in 1993, desperate network executives seeking to plunge the
ratings of the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather even further, decide the program
needs to resemble a local news program and add Connie Chung to the anchor desk.

June 2 : in 1986, the U.S. government begins a six-week experimental
broadcast of Senate proceedings in a project dubbed CSPAN II. This can't be
good.

June 3 : in 1960, NBC airs part one of the two part drama detailing the true
crime "Sacco-Vanzetti Story." Directed by Sidney Lumet, and
starring Martin Balsam and Steven Hill as the titular murderers along
with E.G. Marshall and Peter Falk, the docu-drama draws fire from the
State of Massachusetts over its suggestions the now-executed duo may
have been innocent.

June 4 : in 1984, Tom Kennedy does "Password" one better and has his
celeb contestants (Jamie Farr and Vicki Lawrence on today's debut)
communicate without using *any* words on "Body Language." This little
charade ends in January 1986.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Ellen) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 5/29: Jason Lee, Jack Hanna (R 5/10/06)
Tu 5/30: Julia Roberts, Pearl Jam (R 5/4/06)
We 5/31: Vince Vaughn, K.T. Tunstall (R 5/5/06)
Th 6/1: Tom Cruise, Jamie Oliver (R 5/2/06)
Fr 6/2: Tom Hanks, Kanye West (R 5/1/06)

Mo 6/5: Lindsay Lohan
Tu 6/6: Bonnie Hunt, Elvis Costello and Allen Toussaint
We 6/7: Kyra Sedgwick, Al Franken
Th 6/8: Meredith Vieira, Jeremy Piven, My Morning Jacket
Fr 6/9: Michael Keaton, Wolfmother

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 5/29: Vince Vaughn, Julia Stiles, the Wreckers (R 5/22/06)
Tu 5/30: Tom Hanks, Emmy Rossum, Hoobastank (R 5/12/06)
We 5/31: Tom Cruise, Michelle Rodriguez, Kanye West (R 5/11/06)
Th 6/1: Robin Williams, Keke Palmer, Daniel Powter (R 4/24/06)
Fr 6/2: Hugh Jackman, explorer Bruce Parry, Imogen Heap (R 4/28/06)

Mo 6/5: Jessica Alba, Ludacris, Bruce Springsteen
Tu 6/6: Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, Tim Russert
We 6/7: Adam Sandler, Rosie Perez, John Fogerty
Th 6/8: Al Gore, Maya Rudolph, Rihanna
Fr 6/9: Nicole Richie, Louis C.K., Poison

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 5/29: Betty White, Donald Faison, Bill Bailey (R 5/9/06)
Tu 5/30: Andy Garcia, Kristin Chenoweth, Dem Franchize Boyz (R 4/27/06)
We 5/31: Paul Bettany, Kate Walsh, Damien Marley (R 5/11/06)
Th 6/1: Mia Maestro, Nick Lachey (R 5/19/06)
Fr 6/2: Denis Leary, Bo Bice (R 5/8/06)

Mo 6/5: Jon Favreau, Shooter Jennings, Lee Child
Tu 6/6: Patricia Heaton, Claire Fordham, the New Cars
We 6/7: Ian McShane, Joey Lauren Adams, Stanley Bing
Th 6/8: Edie Falco, David Lee Roth
Fr 6/9: Tom Everett Scott

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 5/29: LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (R 1/10/06)
Tu 5/30: Joaquin Phoenix, Sarah Silverman, Trey Anastasio (R 11/17/05)
We 5/31: Patricia Heaton, Ryan Reynolds, Alanis Morissette (R 11/18/05)
Th 6/1: Naomi Watts, Kate Walsh, the Magic Numbers (R 11/30/05)
Fr 6/2: Charlize Theron, Cameron Crowe, Tariq "King Flex" Nasheed (R
10/12/05)

Mo 6/5: David Spade, Neil Young (R 11/4/05)
Tu 6/6: Eric McCormack, Famke Janssen, Drive-By Truckers
We 6/7: Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Van Hunt
Th 6/8: Lewis Black
Fr 6/9: Denis Leary, Rita Wilson, Brandi Carlisle

Mo 6/12: Lindsay Lohan, Colin Hanks, Coldplay (R)
Tu 6/13: Louis C.K., Be Your Own Pet
We 6/14: Regina Spektor
Th 6/15: Shaun White

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 5/29: Orlando Jones, Aqualung (R 3/29/06)
Tu 5/30: Frankie Muniz, Robin Thicke (R 4/4/06)
We 5/31: Jon Heder, Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders (R 4/12/06)
Th 6/1: Andy Milonakis, Nada Surf (R 3/30/06)
Fr 6/2: Zooey Deschanel, Samaire Armstrong, Eco Station Animals,
Jack's Mannequin (R 3/10/06)

Mo 6/5: Rerun TBA
Tu 6/6: Fred Willard, Rihanna
We 6/7: Vince Vaughn, Juliette & the Licks
Th 6/8: Jerry Ferrara, Morningwood
Fr 6/9: Sarah Silverman

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 5/29: Denis Leary (R 5/16/06)
Tu 5/30: Ramesh Ponnuru (R 5/17/06)
We 5/31: Howard Dean (R 5/15/06)
Th 6/1: Willie Nelson (R 5/18/06)

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 5/29: Tyson Slocum (R 5/16/06)
Tu 5/30: Jonathan Alter (R 5/17/06)
We 5/31: Kevin Phillips (R 5/15/06)
Th 6/1: Ted Daeschler (R 5/18/06)

Mo 6/5: Lawrence Kudlow
Tu 6/6: Christiane Amanpour
We 6/7: Steve Squyres
Th 6/8: Steve Johnson

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 5/29: Sir Ian McKellen, Zac Efron, Franz Ferdinand (R 5/2/06)
Tu 5/30: Famke Janssen, Jared Leto, 30 Seconds to Mars (R 5/5/06)
We 5/31: J.J. Abrams, Dominic Monaghan, Taking Back Sunday (R 5/12/06)
Th 6/1: Julia Stiles, Jason Ritter, Atreyu (R 5/23/06)
Fr 6/2: Katherine Heigl, James Pickens Jr., Chandra Wilson, Ben Lee (R
5/15/06)

Mo 6/5: Sarah Silverman, Artie Lange, Hoobastank (R 5/19/06)
Tu 6/6: Ice Cube, Paget Brewster
We 6/7: Jessica Alba, Larry the Cable Guy, Him
Th 6/8: Rosie Perez, Jared Hess, Elefant
Fr 6/9: Gary Gulman

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 5/29: Bruce Willis, presidential impersonator Steve Bridges
Tu 5/30: Maura Tierney
We 5/31: The Wreckers
Th 6/1: Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton, Diane Sawyer
Fr 6/2: Jennifer Aniston, Jeff Corwin and animals

Mo 6/5: Sigourney Weaver, Chris Brown
Tu 6/6: Eric McCormack, Anthony Michael Hall
We 6/7: Lorraine Bracco, Craig Newmark
Th 6/8: Luke Perry, Jorge Cruise, Kelly Clarkson
Fr 6/9: Meredith Vieira's farewell show

Mo 6/12: Rosie Perez, Il Divo

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 5/29: Jennifer Aniston, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Peter Gros
Tu 5/30: Taylor Hicks, Mariah Carey, Larry the Cable Guy, guest
co-host Anderson Cooper
We 5/31: Katharine McPhee, Patricia Heaton, the winner of the Indy
500, guest co-host Donald Trump
Th 6/1: Denis Leary, "American Idol" castoff Elliot Yamin, guest
co-host Vince Vaughn
Fr 6/2: Famke Janssen, Sandra Bernhard, guest co-host Jimmy Kimmel

Mo 6/5: Kevin Connolly, guest co-host Bryant Gumbel
Tu 6/6: Ludacris, Julia Stiles
We 6/7: The winner of "The Apprentice", Liev Schrieber
Th 6/8: Kyra Sedgwick, Meryl Streep
Fr 6/9: Kevin Dillon, Bonnie Hunt

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 5/29: Simon Cowell, James Blunt, 7-year-old music prodigy Marc Yu
(R 2/21/06)
Tu 5/30: Gwyneth Paltrow, Leah Remini, Marc Cherry (R 9/15/05)
We 5/31: Pierce Brosnan, Heidi Klum, Q'Orianka Kilcher (R 1/19/06)
Th 6/1: Pamela Anderson, Neil Patrick Harris, Senior Spelling Bee
champion (R 11/7/05)
Fr 6/2: Vince Vaughn, Live, Taylor Hicks

Mo 6/5: Wanda Sykes, Poppy Montgomery (R 4/19/06)
Tu 6/6: Charlie Sheen, Cynthia Nixon (R 9/16/05)
We 6/7: Jane Kaczmarek, Christopher Meloni, Michael Buble (R 1/31/06)
Th 6/8: Sean Hayes, Cheryl Hines, Jason Mraz (R 2/1/06)
Fr 6/9: James Denton, Constance Marie (R 1/20/06)

(Good-bye, Mr. Danza...)

CHARLIE ROSE
Mo 5/29 Peter Travers salutes A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison
Keillor and Robert Altman
And later in the week, Harold Vormus interviews "Stumbling On Happiness"
author Daniel Gilbert

MARTHA, Syndicated
Mo 5/29 Hugh Jackman (X-Men 3) makes Turkey Burgers with Martha -- New
Show

OPRAH, Syndicated
Fr 6/2 Oprah bloopers with The Dog Whisperer, Madea, Tim McGraw & Faith
Hill, and Vince Vaughn

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 5/29 11 PM Jennifer Lopez
3 AM Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
Tu 5/30 11 PM Brittany Murphy / Nelly
3 AM Reese Witherspoon / Alicia Keys
We 5/31 11 PM Christina Aguilera / Maroon 5
3 AM Kelly Ripa / OutKast
Th 6/1 3 PM Jennifer Aniston / The Black Eyed Peas
11 PM Jennifer Aniston / Sting
3 AM Vince Vaughn / Lauryn Hill
Fr 6/2 11 PM Ray Romano / Zwan
3 AM Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- UP ALL NIGHT, NBC
Sa 6/3 Anjelica Huston & Billy Martin / George Clinton (5/24/86)
Sa 6/10 Justine Bateman / Terrence Trent D'Arby (2/13/88)
Sa 6/17 Jason Patric / Blind Melon (1/8/94)
Sa 6/24: Bill Pullman / New Edition (10/19/96)
Sa 7/1 John Larroquette / Timbuk 3 (4/18/87)
Sa 7/8 Judge Reinhold / 10,000 Maniacs (2/27/88)
Sa 7/15 Jason Alexander / Peter Gabriel (4/10/93)
Sa 7/22 Tom Arnold / Tupac (2/17/96)

TOM'S BIRTHDAY, Gemini
Mo 5/29 Colder
Tu 5/30 Warmer
We 5/31 Even Warmer
Th 6/1 Red hot
Fr 6/2 Burning!

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 5/29 Jack Black shows off his 'Libre' skills, T.I. tells us 'Why You
Wanna' and Panic! at the Disco stop by.
Tu 5/30 Chamillionaire comes 'Ridin' in to perform, plus a Pink
performance too!
We 5/31 Lauren gives us a glimpse of 'The Hills,' Cheyenne tells us to
keep 'Hanging On', Sean Paul serves up his new track, and Mariah
checks in.
Th 6/1 Chris Brown tells us to 'Gimme That', Christina Milian and Young
Jeezy perform, Nicole Ritchie graces us with her appearance, and Vince
Vaughn gives us the grit.
Fr 6/2 Ashlee Simpson drops a premiere and Busta Rhymes rolls in to
perform.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SATURDAY NIGHT 2006 REPEATS, NBC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
May 22, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


UPFRONTS 2006 - FULL COVERAGE
Get the fat skinny on every upfront, every preview, every highlight
and lowlight.  And don't miss TV Barn's excruciating coverage of the
Worst Upfront Presentation Ever!

http://TVBarn.com

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge

(NOTE: Tom's lineups will be mailed later.)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 5/15: Kid scientists, William Shatner, Angels & Airwaves
Tu 5/16: Debra Messing, Chris Russo
We 5/17: Bruce Willis, Goldfrapp
Th 5/18: Stupid Pet Tricks, Rebecca Romijn, Eagles of Death Metal
Fr 5/19: Jennifer Garner, Mary Cheney, Harry Hill

Mo 5/22: Martha Stewart, Dixie Chicks, Criss Angel
Tu 5/23: Martin Short, James Blunt
We 5/24: Jennifer Aniston
Th 5/25: Halle Berry, Jesse James
Fr 5/26: Bill Maher, Rita Wilson

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 5/15: Simon Cowell, 93-year-old actor Johnny Holiday, T-Bone Burnett
Tu 5/16: Ellen DeGeneres, former White House Press Secretary Scott
McClellan, the Goo Goo Dolls
We 5/17: Jada Pinkett Smith, Larry the Cable Guy, Wicked Wisdom
Th 5/18: Evangeline Lilly, Alonzo Bodden, the Pussycat Dolls
Fr 5/19: Nicollette Sheridan, Ron White, Michael Bolton

Mo 5/22: Vince Vaughn, Julia Stiles, the Wreckers
Tu 5/23: Def Leppard
We 5/24: Jarod Miller, Garry Shandling, Fort Minor
Th 5/25: Dane Cook, the winner of "American Idol, the Flaming Lips
Fr 5/26: Dana Carvey, 8-year-old dental expert Nicholas Hearon, T.I.

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 5/15: Daryl Hannah, Sara Ramirez
Tu 5/16: Dr. Phil McGraw, Jim Gaffigan
We 5/17: Merv Griffin, Rick Reilly
Th 5/18: Dominic Monaghan, Diane Farr, Phil Vassar
Fr 5/19: Mia Maestro, Nick Lachey

Mo 5/22: Reba McEntire, Cynthia Watros, Toby Keith
Tu 5/23: Anna Paquin, Casper Van Dien, Jason Aldean
We 5/24: Ricki Lake, the Wreckers
Th 5/25: Brooks and Dunn
Fr 5/26: Jenny McCarthy, Gomez, Arturo Gatti

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 5/15: Alan Alda, Billy Joel (R 12/1/06)
Tu 5/16: Megan Mullaly, Mike Wallace, Jewel
We 5/17: Jorge Garcia, Brian Williams, People in Planes
Th 5/18: Edie Falco, Billy Connolly, the Raconteurs
Fr 5/19: Larry King, Omar Epps, Sheila Kelley

Mo 5/22: U2 (R 10/6/05)
Tu 5/23: TBA
We 5/24: Hugh Jackman, Tim Russert, Gnarls Barkley
Th 5/25: Jennifer Aniston, Victor Varnado
Fr 5/26: Halle Berry, Peeping Tom

Mo 5/29: LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (R 1/10/06)
Tu 5/30: Joaquin Phoenix, Sarah Silverman, Trey Anastasio (R 11/17/05)
We 5/31: Patricia Heaton, Ryan Reynolds, Alanis Morissette (R 11/18/05)
Th 6/1: Naomi Watts, Kate Walsh, the Magic Numbers (R 11/30/05)
Fr 6/2: Charlize Theron, Cameron Crowe, Tariq "King Flex" Nasheed (R
10/12/05)

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 5/15: Milla Jovovich, Supergrass, Joe Firstman (R)
Tu 5/16: Reggie Bush, K.T. Tunstall, Joe Firstman (house band for the
week)
We 5/17: Jenny McCarthy, Stomp
Th 5/18: Patton Oswalt, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Fr 5/19: Jim Breuer, Lauren Conrad, Dov Davidoff, the Eels

Mo 5/22: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/23: Steven R. Schirripa, Rock Kills Kid
We 5/24: Anna Paquin, Matchbook Romance
Th 5/25: Ginnifer Goodwin, Hoobastank
Fr 5/26: Chelsea Handler, Harland Williams, Jordan Rubin, Rocco DeLuca
& the Burden

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 5/15: Howard Dean
Tu 5/16: Denis Leary
We 5/17: Ramesh Ponnuru
Th 5/18: Willie Nelson

Mo 5/22: Eric Shawn (R 5/9/06)
Tu 5/23: Billy Connolly (R 5/10/06)
We 5/24: David Remnick (R 5/8/06)
Th 5/25: Francis Fukuyama (R 5/11/06)

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 5/15: Kevin Phillips
Tu 5/16: Tyson Slocum
We 5/17: Jonathan Alter
Th 5/18: Ted Daeschler

Mo 5/22: Frank Rich (R 5/9/06)
Tu 5/23: Bill Bastone (R 5/10/06)
We 5/24: Shere Hite (R 5/8/06)
Th 5/25: Madeleine Albright (R 5/11/06)

Mo 5/29: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/30: Rerun TBA
We 5/31: Rerun TBA
Th 6/1: Rerun TBA

Mo 6/5: Lawrence Kudlow
Tu 6/6: Christiane Amanpour
We 6/7: Steve Squyres
Th 6/8: Steve Johnson

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 5/15: Katherine Heigl, James Pickens Jr., Chandra Wilson, Ben Lee
Tu 5/16: Eva Longoria, Dick Cavett, Dresden Dolls (R 4/19/06)
We 5/17: Drew Carey, Malcolm David Kelley, Christina Milian
Th 5/18: Teri Hatcher, Umphrey's McGee featuring Huey Lewis
Fr 5/19: Artie Lange, Hoobastank

Mo 5/22: Sarah Silverman, James Cramer, Denny "Average Homeboy" Blaze
Tu 5/23: TBA
We 5/24: Jon Favreau, bass champion Mike Iaconelli, Elefant
Th 5/25: Rerun TBA
Fr 5/26: Dane Cook, Brett Ratner

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 5/15: Jim Belushi, Wanda Sykes, Jewel
Tu 5/16: William Shatner, Justin Chambers
We 5/17: Jean Smart, David Boreanaz
Th 5/18: Megan Mullally, Cameron Mathison
Fr 5/19: Felicity Huffman, Tom Bergeron, Tyler Florence

Mo 5/22: Jorge Garcia, Maria Lark, Jenny Jones
Tu 5/23: Ne-Yo
We 5/24: Kelsey Grammer, Bill Carter
Th 5/25: Harold Perrineau
Fr 5/26: Halle Berry, Jeffrey Ross

Mo 5/29: Bruce Willis, presidential impersonator Steve Bridges
Tu 5/30: Maura Tierney

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 5/15: Nicolette Sheridan, Terry O'Quinn, "American Idol" castoff
Chris Daughtry, guest co-host Jeff Probst
Tu 5/16: James Spader, Christina Milian, the winner of "Survivor:
Exile Island"
We 5/17: Eric McCormack, Jennifer Garner
Th 5/18: Jimmy Kimmel, the winners of "The Amazing Race", Debra Messing
Fr 5/19: Tom Hanks, Patricia Arquette

Mo 5/22: Mary Lynn Rajskub, the winner of "America's Next Top Model"
Tu 5/23: Dean Cain, Ashley Parker Angel
We 5/24: Halle Berry
Th 5/25: Hugh Jackman
Fr 5/26: Paul Newman, Owen Wilson, Jesse James

Mo 5/29: Jennifer Aniston, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Peter Gros
Tu 5/30: The winner of "American Idol", Mariah Carey, Larry the Cable
Guy, guest co-host Anderson Cooper
We 5/31: The "American Idol" runner-up, Patricia Heaton, guest co-host
Donald Trump
Th 6/1: Denis Leary, guest co-host Vince Vaughn
Fr 6/2: Guest co-host Randy Jackson

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 5/15: Kanye West, Howie Mandel, Stomp
Tu 5/16: Ron Howard, Nick Lachey, "American Idol" castoff Chris Daughtry
We 5/17: Carson Daly
Th 5/18: Diane Keaton, Paul Simon, Sherri Shepherd, pre-taped
interviews with former Presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush
Fr 5/19: Teri Hatcher, Harold Perrineau

Mo 5/22: Evangeline Lilly, Jamie Kennedy
Tu 5/23: Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton, Omar Epps
We 5/24: Jack Black, Kristin Chenoweth
Th 5/25: TBA
Fr 5/26: Hugh Jackman

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
May 15, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------



THE TOWN SO NICE, THEY FEED THE MICE
And they feed hungry critics with previews and p.r.  Which I'll be
digesting all week at

http://tvbarn.com

Updated frequently -- material from NBC's upfront presentation is
already online!

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

May 15 : in 1981, when we last left "Gilligan's Island" (which many
hoped we finally had), The Howells had turned the place into a resort
with all the other characters (if not actors) returning to run the
joint. After a plane crash and escape from the Universal Studios Jaws
monster, we join the "Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island," there
the team has to fight an orange basketball playing robot named George
created by villains Martin Landau and Barbara Bain, for control of the
island's supply of the energy source Supremium.

May 16 : in 1986, on "Dallas," Pam Ewing finds a rather large clumping
of hair in her shower drain ... her dead husband Bobby. "Good Morning."

May 17 : in 1987, in the "Return of The Six Million Dollar Man and the
Bionic Woman," Steve Austin (not the wrestler) reunites with both his
test-pilot son Michael (from a previous marriage) and former love Jamie
Sommers. After various exploits of derring-do (involving cheesy sound
effects when either lead moves in slow motion), Michael is involved in
an accident similar to his father's and turned into a bionic teen.

May 18 : in 1984, on the thrilling cliffhanger season finale of "Melrose
Place" -- bland gay tenant Matt Fielding gets a bland obstructed
onscreen kiss, while Kimberly dressed as Jane and (wearing a short
blonde wig) plows into Michael with Jane's car. Tune in next fall to see
how they fare! (Michael survives.)

May 19 : in 1997, on the thrilling cliffhanger season finale of "Melrose
Place" -- Peter is saved from lobotomy (or is he?), Kimberly goes into a
coma, Amanda marries Peter in a jailhouse ceremony, Matt gets addicted
to speed, Richard almost gets killed by Jane and Sydney, but once
buried, his hand pops up from beyond the grave as the credits roll. Tune
in next fall, if you dare! (Daphne Zuniga won't be there.)

May 20 : in 1996, on the thrilling cliffhanger season finale of "Melrose
Place" -- Amanda suffers a breakdown, Matt gains custody of Chelsea,
Peter throws Michael through a window and almost pushes Taylor off the
ledge of a lighthouse and Sam's drunken father plows down Sydney just
after she's gotten married (Syd had been hoping to be pelted with rice.)
Tune in next fall, if you care! Three actors won't be returning,
Courtney Thorne-Smith (leaving for Ally McBeal), Laura Leighton (leaving
for Beverly Hills, 90210), and Grant Show (dinner theater).

May 21 : in 1989, Patty Duke and Beau Bridges star in "Everybody's Baby:
The Rescue of Jessica McClure." All's well, that ends, well, not in a
well.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 5/15: Kid scientists, William Shatner, Angels & Airwaves
Tu 5/16: Debra Messing, Chris Russo
We 5/17: Bruce Willis, Goldfrapp
Th 5/18: Stupid Pet Tricks, Rebecca Romijn, Eagles of Death Metal
Fr 5/19: Jennifer Garner, Mary Cheney, Harry Hill

Mo 5/22: Martha Stewart, Dixie Chicks, Criss Angel
Tu 5/23: Martin Short, James Blunt
We 5/24: Jennifer Aniston
Th 5/25: Halle Berry, Jesse James
Fr 5/26: Bill Maher, Rita Wilson

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 5/15: Simon Cowell, 93-year-old actor Johnny Holiday, T-Bone Burnett
Tu 5/16: Ellen DeGeneres, former White House Press Secretary Scott
McClellan, the Goo Goo Dolls
We 5/17: Jada Pinkett Smith, Larry the Cable Guy, Wicked Wisdom
Th 5/18: Evangeline Lilly, Alonzo Bodden, the Pussycat Dolls
Fr 5/19: Nicollette Sheridan, Ron White, Michael Bolton

Mo 5/22: Vince Vaughn, Julia Stiles, the Wreckers
Tu 5/23: Def Leppard
We 5/24: Jarod Miller, Garry Shandling, Fort Minor
Th 5/25: Dane Cook, the winner of "American Idol, the Flaming Lips
Fr 5/26: Dana Carvey, 8-year-old dental expert Nicholas Hearon, T.I.

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 5/15: Daryl Hannah, Sara Ramirez
Tu 5/16: Dr. Phil McGraw, Jim Gaffigan
We 5/17: Merv Griffin, Rick Reilly
Th 5/18: Dominic Monaghan, Diane Farr, Phil Vassar
Fr 5/19: Mia Maestro, Nick Lachey

Mo 5/22: Reba McEntire, Cynthia Watros, Toby Keith
Tu 5/23: Anna Paquin, Casper Van Dien, Jason Aldean
We 5/24: The Wreckers
Th 5/25: Brooks and Dunn
Fr 5/26: Jenny McCarthy, Gomez

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 5/15: Alan Alda, Billy Joel (R 12/1/06)
Tu 5/16: Megan Mullaly, Mike Wallace, Jewel
We 5/17: People in Planes
Th 5/18: Edie Falco, Billy Connolly, the Raconteurs
Fr 5/19: Larry King, Omar Epps, Sheila Kelley

Mo 5/22: U2 (R 10/6/05)
Tu 5/23: TBA
We 5/24: Hugh Jackman, Tim Russert, Gnarls Barkley
Th 5/25: Jennifer Aniston, Victor Varnado
Fr 5/26: Halle Berry, Peeping Tom

Mo 5/29: LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (R 1/10/06)
Tu 5/30: Joaquin Phoenix, Sarah Silverman, Trey Anastasio (R 11/17/05)
We 5/31: Patricia Heaton, Ryan Reynolds, Alanis Morissette (R 11/18/05)
Th 6/1: Naomi Watts, Kate Walsh, the Magic Numbers (R 11/30/05)
Fr 6/2: Charlize Theron, Cameron Crowe, Tariq "King Flex" Nasheed (R
10/12/05)

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 5/15: Milla Jovovich, Supergrass, Joe Firstman (R)
Tu 5/16: Reggie Bush, K.T. Tunstall, Joe Firstman (house band for the
week)
We 5/17: Jenny McCarthy, Stomp
Th 5/18: Patton Oswalt, Juliette Lewis and the Licks
Fr 5/19: Jim Breuer, Lauren Conrad, Dov Davidoff, the Eels

Mo 5/22: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/23: Anna Paquin
We 5/24: Hoobastank
Th 5/25: Bill Paxton
Fr 5/26: Chelsea Handler, Rocco Deluca & the Burden

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 5/15: Howard Dean
Tu 5/16: Denis Leary
We 5/17: Ramesh Ponnuru
Th 5/18: Willie Nelson

Mo 5/22: Eric Shawn (R 5/9/06)
Tu 5/23: Billy Connolly (R 5/10/06)
We 5/24: David Remnick (R 5/8/06)
Th 5/25: Francis Fukuyama (R 5/11/06)

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 5/15: Kevin Phillips
Tu 5/16: Tyson Slocum
We 5/17: Jonathan Alter
Th 5/18: Ted Daeschler

Mo 5/22: Frank Rich (R 5/9/06)
Tu 5/23: Bill Bastone (R 5/10/06)
We 5/24: Shere Hite (R 5/8/06)
Th 5/25: Madeleine Albright (R 5/11/06)

Mo 5/29: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/30: Rerun TBA
We 5/31: Rerun TBA
Th 6/1: Rerun TBA

Mo 6/5: Lawrence Kudlow
Tu 6/6: Christiane Amanpour
We 6/7: Steve Squyres
Th 6/8: Steve Johnson

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 5/15: Katherine Heigl, James Pickens Jr., Chandra Wilson, Ben Lee
Tu 5/16: Eva Longoria, Dick Cavett, Dresden Dolls (R 4/19/06)
We 5/17: Drew Carey, Malcolm David Kelley, Christina Milian
Th 5/18: Teri Hatcher, Umphrey's McGee featuring Huey Lewis
Fr 5/19: Artie Lange, Hoobastank

Mo 5/22: Sarah Silverman, James Cramer, Denny "Average Homeboy" Blaze
Tu 5/23: TBA
We 5/24: Jon Favreau, bass champion Mike Iaconelli, Elefant
Th 5/25: Rerun TBA
Fr 5/26: Dane Cook, Brett Ratner

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 5/15: Jim Belushi, Wanda Sykes, Jewel
Tu 5/16: William Shatner, Justin Chambers
We 5/17: Jean Smart, David Boreanaz
Th 5/18: Megan Mullally, Cameron Mathison
Fr 5/19: Felicity Huffman, Tom Bergeron

Mo 5/22: Jorge Garcia, Maria Lark, Jenny Jones
Tu 5/23: Ne-Yo
We 5/24: TBA
Th 5/25: David Schwimmer
Fr 5/26: Halle Berry

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 5/15: Nicolette Sheridan, Terry O'Quinn, "American Idol" castoff
Chris Daughtry, guest co-host Jeff Probst
Tu 5/16: James Spader, Christina Milian, the winner of "Survivor:
Exile Island"
We 5/17: Eric McCormack, Jennifer Garner
Th 5/18: Jimmy Kimmel, the winners of "The Amazing Race", Debra Messing
Fr 5/19: Tom Hanks, Patricia Arquette

Mo 5/22: Mary Lynn Rajskub, the winner of "America's Next Top Model"
Tu 5/23: Dean Cain, Caroline Rhea, Ashley Parker Angel
We 5/24: Halle Berry
Th 5/25: Hugh Jackman
Fr 5/26: Paul Newman, Owen Wilson, Jesse James

Mo 5/29: Jennifer Aniston, Jeanne Tripplehorn
Tu 5/30: The winner of "American Idol", Mariah Carey, Larry the Cable
Guy, guest co-host Anderson Cooper
We 5/31: The "American Idol" runner-up, Patricia Heaton, guest co-host
Donald Trump
Th 6/1: Denis Leary, guest co-host Vince Vaughn
Fr 6/2: Guest co-host Randy Jackson

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 5/15: Kanye West, Howie Mandel, Stomp
Tu 5/16: Ron Howard, Nick Lachey, "American Idol" castoff Chris Daughtry
We 5/17: Julie Andrews
Th 5/18: Diane Keaton, Paul Simon, Sherri Shepherd
Fr 5/19: Teri Hatcher, Harold Perrineau

Mo 5/22: Evangeline Lilly, Jamie Kennedy
Tu 5/23: Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton, Omar Epps
We 5/24: Jack Black, Kristin Chenoweth
Th 5/25: TBA
Fr 5/26: Hugh Jackman

CHARLIE ROSE
Mo 5/15 Elvis Mitchell with Edward Norton

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 5/15 Son-in-Law vs. Mother-in-Law
Tu 5/16 The Divorce Experiment
We 5/17 Brandon Behind Bars
Th 5/18 Alex Turns 18
Fr 5/19 My Fiance is a Stalker

MARTHA, Syndicated
Mo 5/15 Paige Davis (The Game Show Marathon) crafting napkin holders
Tu 5/16 Julie Bowen (Boston Legal)
We 5/17 Richard Simmons makes birthday party Tiaras.
Th 5/18 Jean Smart (24), Meredith Brokaw & Ellen Wright (Big Sky Cooking
cookbook)
Fr 5/19 Joan Cusack (Friends with Money)

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 5/15 Surviving the Tsunami: Nate Returns to Sri Lanka
Tu 5/16 When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend
We 5/17 Meet the World's Youngest Queen
Th 5/18 The Best Cake in America Revealed / Shaq/ the Trumps and their
new baby

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Returns in August

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 5/20 Kevin Spacey / Nelly Furtado

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 5/15 Noon Jackie Chan / Kid Rock
11 AM Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte
3 AM Tom Hanks / Keith Richards
Tu 5/16 Noon Justin Timberlake
11 AM Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani
3 AM Tom Hanks / Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
We 5/17 Noon David Spade / Jack Johnson
11 AM Johnny Knoxville / System Of A Down
3 AM Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen
Th 5/18 Noon Halle Berry / Britney Spears
11 AM Megan Mullally / Clay Aiken
3 AM Tom Hanks / Randy Travis
Fr 5/19 Noon Matthew Perry / Oasis
11 AM Chris Rock / The Wallflowers
3 AM Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 5/15 Newsweek senior editor Jonathan Alter and ER actress Laura Innes.
Tu 5/16 The New Yorker editor David Remnick and former Sudanese slave,
now anti-slavery activist, Francis Bok.
We 5/17 Wil Shriner, director of the new film Hoot.
Th 5/18 Social critic Shelby Steele and author Anne Taylor Fleming.
Fr 5/19 Merv Griffin

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 5/15 The latest American Idol cast-off goes straight from the stage
to our studio! Plus--a premiere from T.I.!
Tu 5/16 Ashley Parker Angel helps us Get a Life, while Jamie Kennedy and
Stu show off their Blowin' Up skillz.
We 5/17 Seth McFarlane talks Family Guy values, and Leytoya + Paula
Deanda = two Pre-RLs for the price of one!
Th 5/18 Office star Steve Carrell shows us who's boss and get a 1st Look
from Busta Rhymes. Plus--don't forget to Click2Pick The Fray!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 5/15 The Secret Lives of Teen Girls
Tu 5/16 Weddings for Less
We 5/17 Joe Francis and the Girls Gone Wild empire
Th 5/18 Tyra Investigates: Women in Prison
Fr 5/19 Male Model Search with Jillian Barberie, Michael Bergin,  and
Terri Seymour

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All
Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
May 9, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

WEST WING, WHERE IS THY STING?
NBC doesn't say "goodbye" to its highly honored show so much as "get out."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/west_wing_retro.html

TEN PINS, FOUR STARS
Missed "A League of Ordinary Gentlemen" when it was on PBS last month?
Read my review and you'll want to see it on DVD.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/pick_up_with_yo.html

DAVID BLAINE STILL NOT DEAD
I admit it -- I was sucked into his vortex Monday night. (Be sure you
read the comments on this article; I love when my pieces bounce around
the blogosphere.)
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/david_blaine_st.html

TV BARN ON THE RADIO
Lotsa podcasts of late, for those who'd rather listen than read.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/tv_barn_radio/index.html

SCI FI -- WHY?
How do "Law & Order" repeats fit the format?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/05/grandma_called_.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

May 8 : in 1998, the rainbow ends for CBS with their 39th and final
airing of
"The Wizard of Oz." Viewers will now either have to catch it on cable
on TNT, or
stop being such unbelievable cheapskates and buy a VCR (and/or DVD
player).

May 9 : in 1992, as "The Golden Girls" ends its run on NBC, Dorothy
Zbornak weds
Blanche Devereaux's uncle Lucas (Leslie Nielsen). More than just a
cheesy TV
wedding gimmick, the plot enables Bea Arthur to leave before the
series returns
in the fall on CBS with the girls running a hotel named the "Golden
Palace." The
real reason behind her defection? Arthur not only doesn't like the way
they've
been writing her character, she also hates that the show keeps putting
current
events into the dialogue, feeling that when the show hits syndication
viewers
won't understand the current "hip" dialogue.

May 10 : in 1983, having dropped the show's original setting
(Milwaukee for
Hollywood), and one of its female leads ABC finally drops the Penny
Marshall
show -- still being called "Laverne And Shirley." And they're serious,
so stop
calling them Cindy Williams!

May 11 : in 1988, if the jokes bomb on "The Tonight Show with Johnny
Carson"
it's Johnny's own fault. He's crossed the picket lines of the now
two-month old
writer's strike, and is doing his own material. "How funny are they?!?"

May 12 : in 1959, Margaret Dumont takes a little time off from being
thoroughly
annoyed by Groucho Marx for a guest appearance as "Miss Lovelace" on
"The Donna
Reed Show."

May 13 : in 1993, after 334 episodes of domestic strife on CBS... "Knots"
finally lands.

May 14 : in 1998, a claymation version of Judge Mills Lane is ready to
"Get It
On!(tm)" as referee as "Celebrity Deathmatch" becomes a regular series
following
its success as counter-programming for MTV during the half-time of The
Super
Bowl, January 25th.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 5/8: Derek Jeter, Michelle Monaghan, motorcycle stunt Globe of Death
Tu 5/9: Kurt Russell, the Little Willies
We 5/10: Jason Lee, Jack Hanna
Th 5/11: Teri Hatcher, Tom Dreesen, Michel Lauziere
Fr 5/12: Edie Falco, Pete Correale, Van Hunt

Mo 5/15: Kid scientists, William Shatner, Angels & Airwaves
Tu 5/16: Debra Messing, Chris Russo
We 5/17: Bruce Willis, Goldfrapp
Th 5/18: Rebecca Romijn, Eagles of Death Metal
Fr 5/19: Jennifer Garner, Harry Hill

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 5/8: Ron Howard, 100-year-old ping pong champion John Donnelly, Brad Paisley
Tu 5/9: Lindsay Lohan, John Krasinski, Sergio Mendes with the Black Eyed Peas
We 5/10: Paul Bettany, pastry chef Duff Goldman, Nick Lachey
Th 5/11: Tom Cruise, Michelle Rodriguez
Fr 5/12: Tom Hanks, Emmy Rossum, Hoobastank

Mo 5/15: Simon Cowell, T-Bone Burnett
Tu 5/16: Ellen DeGeneres, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, the Goo
Goo Dolls
We 5/17: Jada Pinkett Smith, Larry the Cable Guy, Wicked Wisdom
Th 5/18: Evangeline Lilly, Alonzo Bodden, the Pussycat Dolls
Fr 5/19: Nicollette Sheridan, Ron White, Michael Bolton

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 5/8: Denis Leary, Bo Bice
Tu 5/9: Betty White, Donald Faison, Bill Bailey
We 5/10: Jenna Fischer, Bill Carter, Chris Isaak
Th 5/11: Paul Bettany, Kate Walsh, Damian Marley
Fr 5/12: Mark Harmon, Jacinda Barrett, Rock Kills Kid

Mo 5/15: Daryl Hannah, Sara Ramirez
Tu 5/16: Dr. Phil McGraw, Jim Gaffigan
We 5/17: Merv Griffin, Rick Reilly
Th 5/18: Dominic Monaghan, Phil Vassar
Fr 5/19: Nick Lachey

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 5/8: Conan O'Brien Visits Finland (R 3/10/06)
Tu 5/9: Sean Hayes, Cheap Trick
We 5/10: Dave Chappelle, Common
Th 5/11: John C. Reilly, Vlasta the International Queen of Polka, John Mayer
Fr 5/12: Sen. Barack Obama, Wilco

Mo 5/15: Alan Alda, Billy Joel (R 12/1/06)
Tu 5/16: Megan Mullaly, Mike Wallace, Jewel
We 5/17: People in Planes
Th 5/18: Edie Falco, Billy Connolly, the Raconteurs
Fr 5/19: Larry King, Sheila Kelley

Mo 5/22: U2 (R)
Tu 5/23: TBA
We 5/24: Hugh Jackman, Tim Russert, Gnarls Barkley
Th 5/25: Jennifer Aniston, Victor Varnado
Fr 5/26: Halle Berry, Peeping Tom

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 5/8: Snoop Dogg, DPGC, Joe Firstman (R 2/7/06)
Tu 5/9: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 5/10: Josh Lucas, Godsmack
Th 5/11: Ian McKellen, Train
Fr 5/12: Famke Janssen, Jared Leto, Jo Koy, 30 Seconds to Mars

Mo 5/15: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/16: K.T. Tunstall
We 5/17: Jenny McCarthy, Stomp
Th 5/18: Patton Oswalt
Fr 5/19: Brett Ratner

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 5/8: David Remnick
Tu 5/9: Eric Shawn
We 5/10: Billy Connolly
Th 5/11: Francis Fukuyama

Mo 5/15: Howard Dean
Tu 5/16: Denis Leary
We 5/17: TBA
Th 5/18: Willie Nelson

Mo 5/22: Rerun TBA

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 5/8: Shere Hite
Tu 5/9: Frank Rich
We 5/10: Bill Bastone
Th 5/11: Madeleine Albright

Mo 5/15: David Schwimmer
Tu 5/16: Jacqueline Shire
We 5/17: Jonathan Alter
Th 5/18: Ted Daeschler

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 5/8: Carl Reiner, Ashley Tisdale, Morgan Murphy, Martin Fry
Tu 5/9: Reggie Bush, Pat O'Brian, Lacuna Coil
We 5/10: Jamie Kennedy, Daryl Hannah, Jonathan Rice
Th 5/11: Rev. Jesse Jackson, Jimmy Bennett, Nick Lachey
Fr 5/12: Dominic Monaghan, J.J. Abrams, Taking Back Sunday

Mo 5/15: TBA
Tu 5/16: Rerun TBA
We 5/17: Drew Carey, Malcolm David Kelley, Christina Milian
Th 5/18: Teri Hatcher, Umphrey's McGee featuring Huey Lewis
Fr 5/19: Artie Lange, Hoobastank

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 5/8: Christopher Meloni, Gloria Loring
Tu 5/9: Harry Connick Jr., Kelli O'Hara
We 5/10: Kurt Russell, Josh Lucas, Giada De Laurentiis
Th 5/11: Elle MacPherson, stunt man Vic Armstrong, Lisa Edelstein
Fr 5/12: Oprah Winfrey, Teri Hatcher, John Stossel

Mo 5/15: Jim Belushi, Jewel
Tu 5/16: William Shatner, Harold Perrineau
We 5/17: Jean Smart, David Boreanaz, Cameron Mathison
Th 5/18: Megan Mullally
Fr 5/19: Felicity Huffman, Tom Bergeron

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 5/8: Josh Lucas, "American Idol" castoff Paris Bennett
Tu 5/9: Jamie Pressly, Nick Lachey
We 5/10: Michelle Monaghan, Richard Dreyfuss
Th 5/11: "Mom's Dream Week" continues with highlights from past "Mom's Dream"
recipients
Fr 5/12: The 16th annual "Mom's Dream Come True Special"

Mo 5/15: Nicolette Sheridan, Terry O'Quinn, the latest "American Idol" castoff,
guest co-host Jeff Probst
Tu 5/16: James Spader, Christina Milian, the winner of "Survivor: Exile Island"
We 5/17: Eric McCormack, Jennifer Garner
Th 5/18: Jimmy Kimmel, the winners of "The Amazing Race", Debra Messing
Fr 5/19: Tom Hanks, Patricia Arquette

Mo 5/22: Mary Lynn Rajskub, the winner of "America's Next Top Model"
Tu 5/23: Dean Cain, Caroline Rhea, Ashley Angel Parker
We 5/24: Halle Berry
Th 5/25: Hugh Jackman
Fr 5/26: Paul Newman, Owen Wilson, Jesse James

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 5/8: Luke Wilson, Shemar Moore, "American Idol" castoff Paris Bennett
Tu 5/9: Samuel L. Jackson, Famke Janssen, Natasha Bedingfield, Jon Kelley
We 5/10: Lindsay Lohan, Ty Pennington, Chris Isaak, magician Keith Barry
Th 5/11: The cast of "The West Wing"
Fr 5/12: Tom Cruise, Jane Kaczmarek

Mo 5/15: Kanye West
Tu 5/16: Ron Howard, Nick Lachey, the latest "American Idol" castoff
We 5/17: Paula Abdul, Carson Daly
Th 5/18: Flavor Flav
Fr 5/19: Teri Hatcher

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 5/8: Sally Field, Callie Thorne, chef Jennifer Bushman
Tu 5/9: Ving Rhames, Paget Brewster, chef Scott Conat
We 5/10: Craig Ferguson, Chicago, chef Ellie Krieger
Th 5/11: Alan Cumming, Harry Smith, Jennifer Weiner
Fr 5/12: Bryan Cranston, Deborah Gibson

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 5/8 A Mother's Rage
Tu 5/9 Finding Allene and Mollie
We 5/10 Finding Allene and Mollie - Part 2
Th 5/11 Mind Your Business!
Fr 5/12 Toxic Relationships

MARTHA, Syndicated
Mo 5/8 Mario Cantone helps Martha throw a western themed party
Tu 5/9 Marlo Thomas; Chicago perform 2 songs
We 5/10 Fran Drescher
Th 5/11 Jaime Pressly
Fr 5/12 Kenny Rogers does some decorating and performs 2 songs.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 5/8 Young hookers
Tu 5/9 Lance Armstrong's first wife
We 5/10 Vince Vaughn / the first farewell interview with the cast of "Will &
Grace"

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Fr 5/12 John Legend. Madeline Albright, Dr. Cornell West, Richard Clarke

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 5/13 Julia Louis-Dreyfus / Paul Simon
Sa 5/20 Kevin Spacey / Nelly Furtado

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 5/8 Noon Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
3 AM Eric McCormack / Jay-Z & Lenny Kravitz
Tu 5/9 Noon Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado
3 AM Alec Baldwin / Coldplay
We 5/10 Noon Hilary Swank / 50 Cent
3 AM Ben Stiller / Alanis Morissette
Th 5/11 Noon Lindsay Lohan / Usher
3 AM Garth Brooks
Fr 5/12 Noon Julia Stiles / Aerosmith
3 AM Joan Allen / Jewel

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 5/8 Tavis talks with actor-comedian Denis Leary, star of FX's critically
acclaimed firefighter series, Rescue Me.
Tu 5/9 Tavis talks with author Jennifer Miller, author of Inheriting the Holy
Land, and Wah-Wah writer-director, actor Richard E. Grant.
We 5/10 Tavis talks with The Great Deluge author, historian Douglas Brinkley,
and foster care advocate Regina Louise, author of Somebody's Someone.
Th 5/11 Tavis talks with personal finance expert Michelle Singletary and Oscar-
and Emmy-winning actor Louis Gossett, Jr.
Fr 5/12

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 5/8 Lindsay Lohan gets us to take a chance on Just My Luck--while AFI
introduces us to their new 'Miss Murder.'
Tu 5/9 Nick Lachey shows off his pipes, Josh Lucas talks Poseidon, and the Red
Hot Chili Peppers take us back to Cali.
We 5/10 Victoria's Secret models glam up the studio--and we get a Click2Pick
from Chamillionaire.
Th 5/11 With Rihanna getting hotter, will the countdown competition have to put
out an 'S.O.S.'?

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 5/8 Bobby Brown / Lisa Rinna
Tu 5/9 Plastic Surgery Updates
We 5/10 Kimberley Locke, Beverly Johnson, and Ant judge "Full-Figured Top Model"
Th 5/11 "Top Model": Where Are They Now?
Fr 5/12 Mother's Day Surprises with Mario Lopez, Holly Robinson Peete, and
Mikalah Gordon

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
April 25, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

My apologies for two Tuesday deliveries.  Mondays have been especially busy of
late.

Don't forget, the most intelligent "Idol" blog out there (which isn't
saying much, but still) is run by TV Barn:
http://icriticus.com/idol/

And speaking of "Idol," my profile of Ryan Seacrest appeared today,
and you won't feel dirty reading it (though you will get some idea why
the words "Seacrest" and "out" aren't heard together anymore):
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14417888.htm

***

THE MAY SWEEP: OUT WITH A BANG
Series finales. A new Idol. City slickers in Texas. It all starts
Thursday.
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14425458.htm

THE BOSS'S HORN SECTION
Bruce Springsteen has plucked two members of the Max Weinberg 7 for
his "Seeger Sessions" tour:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/the_bosss_horn_.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

April 24: in 1957, Mary Tyler Moore's legs make their TV debut
stepping from an automobile in the opening of "Richard Diamond,
Private Detective," starring David Janssen.

April 25: in 1997, while Boss Hogg ain't a-here, his Cadillac does
make it to "The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion!" movie. (Yes, the
exclamation point is in the official title.) Among the other updates:
Don Williams is a-settin' in fer Waylon Jennings as "The Balladeer,"
while "Good Ol' Boys" Wopat and Schneider are a-warblin' the title
song. Officer Enos Strait still has the hots fer Daisy, who's a
graduate student -- where else but at Duke University.

April 26: in 1988, ABC's "Growing Pains" spins off Mike Seaver's
favorite teacher Coach Lubbock to a Catholic school for boys, along
with his wife, sons, and very buxom daughters (including "Nightmare On
Elm Street" heroine Heather Langenkamp). All counted, it's "Just The
Ten Of Us" causing chaos for the school's headmaster, Frank Bonner (of
"WKRP in Cincinnati" fame).

April 27: in 1949, it's a very "politically incorrect" roundtable as
NBC decides to "Leave It to the Girls" to decide just what's wrong
with the male of the species. Adapted from radio's first panel show,
produced by Martha Rountree (co-creator of Meet the Press), the
program has a lighter tone, with a gaggle of gals browbeating a single
male panelist (usually from one of the network's game shows) each week.

April 28: in 1986, "This Week in Country Music hosts "(Lorraine) Crook
and (Charlie) Chase" make the leap into their own pop culture magazine
/ variety show on "The Nashville Network." The program, having evolved
into a "Regis & Kathie Lee" coffee talker is syndicated for a single
season in 1996, and ultimately dropped from TNN in a purge of several
country music shows in 1999 when it becomes The National Network,
later Spike TV.

April 29: in 1953, while the adventures of Commander Kit Corey and his
sidekick Cadet are known for the second banana's utterings of "Holy
Smokes!," today's episode of "Space Patrol" on KECA-TV is hokey *and*
smokey. It's TV's first blurry attempt at 3-D.

April 30: in 1997, while viewing "The Puppy Episode" of "Ellen," three
American viewers are shocked at the revelation that lead character
(and the actress portraying) Ellen Morgan is a lesbian, a creative
decision thrust upon the public with little or no advance notice.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 4/24: Ray Romano, Willie Nelson (R 3/28/06)
Tu 4/25: Antonio Banderas, Patrice O'Neal, the Flaming Lips (R 3/30/06)
We 4/26: Billy Crystal, Johnny Damon (R 4/10/06)
Th 4/27: Piedmont Bird Callers, Michael Douglas, Emmylou Harris and
Mark Knopfler
Fr 4/28: Keri Russell, human cannonball team Brian and Tina Miser,
Jerry Lee Lewis

Mo 5/1: Tom Hanks, K.T. Tunstall
Tu 5/2: Tom Cruise, Jamie Oliver
We 5/3: Rosie Perez, Danica Patrick
Th 5/4: Julia Roberts, Pearl Jam
Fr 5/5: Vince Vaughn

Mo 5/8: Derek Jeter, Michelle Monaghan

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 4/24: Robin Williams, Keke Palmer, Daniel Powter
Tu 4/25: Jamie Pressly, George Wallace, Avant
We 4/26: Howie Mandel, 82-year-old actor Elwood Carlisle, Godsmack
Th 4/27: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Merv Griffin
Fr 4/28: Hugh Jackman, Bruce Parry, Imogen Heap

Mo 5/1: Dr. Phil McGraw, Oscar De La Hoya, Franz Ferdinand
Tu 5/2: Kurt Russell, Lisa Lampanelli, Jewel
We 5/3: Josh Lucas, the Hogan family
Th 5/4: Teri Hatcher, Ty Pennington
Fr 5/5: Denis Leary, Bob Uecker

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 4/24: Dennis Quaid, the Wiggles
Tu 4/25: Radha Mitchell, Bill Bailey
We 4/26: Jennifer Finnigan, Barry Sonnenfeld
Th 4/27: Andy Garcia, Kristin Chenoweth, Dem Franchize Boyz
Fr 4/28: Mandy Moore, Dave Barry, Rock Bottom Remainders

Mo 5/1: Neil Patrick Harris, Parminder Nagra, Damian Marley
Tu 5/2: Carrot Top, Connie Schultz
We 5/3: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Reggie Bush

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 4/24: Philip Seymour Hoffman, John Krasinski, Neil Young (R 11/2/05)
Tu 4/25: Mandy Moore, Secret Machines
We 4/26: Darrell Hammond, Reggie Bush, Eagles of Death Metal
Th 4/27: Jim Gaffigan
Fr 4/28: Paul Rudd, Hawthorne Heights

Mo 5/1: U2 (R 10/6/05)
Tu 5/2: TBA
We 5/3: Taking Back Sunday
Th 5/4: Tom Hanks, Wolfmother
Fr 5/5: Edward Norton, the Strokes

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 4/24: Michelle Rodriguez, Train (R 3/24/06)
Tu 4/25: Drew Rosenhaus, the Cloud Room
We 4/26: Cheryl Hines, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins
Th 4/27: Kiefer Sutherland, Panic! At the Disco
Fr 4/28: Natasha Henstridge, Andy Dick, Anthony Jeselnik, Metric

Mo 5/1: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/2: Ben Harper
We 5/3: Mekhi Phifer, Ben Harper
Th 5/4: Sarah Chalke, Ben Harper
Fr 5/5: Emmy Rossum, Ben Harper

Mo 5/8: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/9: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 5/10: Josh Lucas, Godsmack
Th 5/11: TBA
Fr 5/12: Jokoy

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 4/24: Efraim Halevy
Tu 4/25: Tom Selleck
We 4/26: Thomas Friedman
Th 4/27: Robin Williams

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 4/24: Hugh Hewitt
Tu 4/25: Sam Harris
We 4/26: Sebastian Junger
Th 4/27: Bill Kristol

Mo 5/1: Jon Meacham
Tu 5/2: Frank Rich
We 5/3: Paul Rieckhoff
Th 5/4: Rick Reilly

Mo 5/8: Shere Hite
Tu 5/9: Thomas Friedman
We 5/10: Bill Bastone
Th 5/11: Madeleine Albright

Mo 5/15: David Schwimmer
Tu 5/16: Jacqueline Shire
We 5/17: Jonathan Alter

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 4/24: Natasha Henstridge, Robert Wuhl, the cast of MTV's "Call to
Greatness"
Tu 4/25: LL Cool J, Robert Klein
We 4/26: Guy Pearce, Ludacris, Atmosphere
Th 4/27: Susan Lucci, Rihanna
Fr 4/28: Joe Gannascoli, Godsmack

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 4/24: Randy Jackson
Tu 4/25: Andy Garcia, Enrique Murciano
We 4/26: Angela Bassett, Michael Eisner, Nadine Velazquez
Th 4/27: Diane Sawyer, Tom Bergeron
Fr 4/28: Robin Roberts, 50 Cent, fitness guru Jorge Cruise

Mo 5/1: Laurence Fishburne
Tu 5/2: Jeremy Piven, Mario Cantone, Jerry Springer
We 5/3: Donald Sutherland
Th 5/4: Laura Innes, Dhillon Khosla
Fr 5/5: Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Jonathan Rhys Myers

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 4/24: Brooke Burns, "American Idol" castoff Ace Young, Miss U.S.A.
Tara Elizabeth Conner, guest co-host D.L. Hughley
Tu 4/25: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 4/26: Robin Williams, Jenny McCarthy, Michael Eisner
Th 4/27: Laurence Fishburne, Paula Dean, Cheryl Hines, guest co-host
Joy Philbin
Fr 4/28: Tom Selleck, the Goo Goo Dolls, Ashley Tisdale, guest co-host
Howie Mandel

Mo 5/1: Ving Rhames, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 5/2: K.T. Tunstall, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
We 5/3: Tom Cruise
Th 5/4: Michelle Rodriguez, Judge Judy Sheindlin
Fr 5/5: Jimmy Buffett, Teri Hatcher, guest co-host Sam Champion

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/24: Elton John, Kim Raver, "American Idol" castoff Ace Young
Tu 4/25: Sally Field, Kenny Rogers, Ricardo Chavira, Jodelle Ferland
We 4/26: Roseanne, David Boreanaz, Ed Del Grande
Th 4/27: Robin Williams, Wentworth Miller, Daniel Powter
Fr 4/28: Michael Douglas, Jenna Fischer

Mo 5/1: Paris Hilton, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 5/2: Geena Davis, Mekhi Phifer
We 5/3: Ryan Seacrest

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/24: Joy Behar, William Sanderson
Tu 4/25: Cameron Mathison, Annette O'Toole
We 4/26: Andy Garcia, Beth Ostrowsky, Mark Montano
Th 4/27: Chris Klein, Eric Close, Alfred Portale
Fr 4/28: Cheryl Hines, Richard Roeper, Rocco DiSpirito

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 4/24 This night with Cokie Roberts, a political roundtable.

THE DECIDER, GWB
Mo 4/24 Unleaded or premium? Premium.
Tu 4/25 Ginger or Mary Ann? Ginger.
We 4/26 Original or extra crispy? Extra crispy dipped in pepper gravy.
Th 4/27 Iran or Saudi Arabia? Iran.
Fr 4/28 Paper or plastic? Plastic-coated paper.

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 4/24 The Final Ultimatum
Tu 4/25 Teen Wake-Up Calls
We 4/26 You're Not Hot Enough
Th 4/27 Big Burden
Fr 4/28 Dr. Phil's Mooch Squad

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/24 Linda Dano making faux clay pots for the garden
Tu 4/25 Charo will perform; Eric Close (Without A Trace) preparing a
simple supper
We 4/26 Johnny Damon (New York Yankees) provides little league tips &
prepares a simple supper; Kristin Chenoweth (RV)
Th 4/27 The Temptations will perform; Angela Bassett (Akeelah and the
Bee); rubber stamping for kids
Fr 4/28 Tom Selleck (Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 4/29 Ace and Gary, The Ambiguosly Gay Duo

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 4/24 Noon Kevin Bacon / INXS
11 PM Colin Farrell / Scissor Sisters
3 AM Julianna Margulies / DMX
Tu 4/25 Noon Johnny Knoxville / System Of A Down
11 PM Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
3AM Steven Seagal / Michael Bolton
We 4/26 Noon Britney Spears
11 PM Seann William Scott / Sum 41
3 AM Freddie Prinze, Jr. / Macy Gray
Th 4/27 Noon Ashton Kutcher / 50 Cent & G-Unit
11 PM Joshua Jackson / 'N Sync
3 AM Greg Kinnear / All Saints
Fr 4/28 Noon Drew Barrymore / Kelis
1 PM Cameron Diaz / Green Day
11 PM Sean Hayes / Shaggy
3 AM Alan Cumming / Jennifer Lopez

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 4/24 Iowa�s Gov. Tom Vilsack, a potential �08 Democratic
presidential candidate, and musician Ben Harper, who also performs a
song from his latest CD, "Both Sides of the Gun"
Tu 4/25 Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Carl Bernstein and tennis
legend Billie Jean King
We 4/26 Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha and Commander in Chief�s Geena
Davis, hopefully her show hasn't been cancelled yet.
Th 4/27 "24�s" first lady Jean Smart, hopefully her character hasn't
been killed off yet.
Fr 4/28 Former Ambassador to the U.N. Agencies for Food and
Agriculture and Ohio congressman Tony P. Hall and author Gay Talese.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 4/24 The day has finally come! TRL's got an awesome Nick Lachey
video premiere and a Pussycat Dolls 1st Look!
Tu 4/25 S.O.S, TRL fans! Rihanna performs plus we've got a Pink
Spiders video premiere.
We 4/26 Time for an 'adventure' on TRL! We've got an Angels and
Airwaves premiere for ya.
Th 4/27 A 1st look at Ne-Yo's latest, plus Robin Williams and JoJo in
the studio? TRL's the place to be!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/24 Stacy Keibler / Paris Hilton / surgery to look like
celebrities / Mikalah Gordon / the editor of TMZ.com
Tu 4/25 Janice Dickinson
We 4/26 60 Seconds to Save Your Life
Th 4/27 Trading Races
Fr 4/28 All About the Booty w/ "Dr. 90210"

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
April 18, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


Don't forget, the most intelligent "Idol" blog out there (which isn't
saying much, but still) is run by TV Barn:
http://icriticus.com/idol/

***

MUCH ADO ABOUT "SOUTH PARK"
This dog don't hunt -- but it sure does bark.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/much_ado_about_.html

FINALLY, NETS SUE FCC
Now let's see if they have the stomach to push this fight to its
logical conclusion: overturning the 1978 Pacifica ruling that started
the indecency charade.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/nets_find_nads_.html
Related story: Is GOP backpedaling on indecency?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/is_gop_backpeda.html

GEENA DAVIS EYES RETURN
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/commanders_back.html
Wherein I managed to get the phrase "boob grab" into the newspaper.

TV BARN RADIO RADIO RADIO
And just like that radio hero of old, Chicken Man, I'm everywhere, I'm
everywhere!
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/tv_barn_radio_r.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

April 17: in 1967, ABC enlists the Rat Pack to try and beat NBC's
"Tonight Show with Johnny Carson," with the group's most exciting
talented participant. "The Joey Bishop Show" with announcer Regis
Philbin lasts until December 26, 1969, to be replaced by an even
smaller threat to Carson, Dick Cavett.

April 18: in 1999, "Silk Stalkings," the sexy show about a pair of
sexy detectives solving sex crimes, finally slinks out the door.
Originally a coproduction with CBS as part of the "Crime Time After
Primetime" lineup, it continued airing on and USA Network after the
Tiffany network dropped many of its miserable mysteries for "The Pat
Sajak Show." USA cancels it after eight seasons, by which time the
original cast, (including Rob Estes and Ben Vereen) has stalked off
for better work.

April 19: in 1990, on the premiere of "Wings," the smart(er) brother
has a punchline, his not-quite-as-bright brother has a punchline, the
waitress who'd rather be a concert cellist has a punchline, the
foriegn cab driver has a punchline, the crazy old terminal announcer
has a punchline, the fat guy has a punchline, and the dumb mechanic /
maintanance worker has a punchline. The process repeats about 5-6 more
times and the episode finally ends.

April 20: in 1979, "CBS is so dumb ... (HOW DUMB ARE THEY?) CBS is so
dumb that after today's episode of 'Match Game '79' they're giving it
a very special present. It's a ___________." (Answer: a very swiftly
delivered ax.) The blanks are still filled in for a few more years in
syndication in both a daytime and weekly PM version.

April 21: in 1993, "Chuck Norris is Walker, Texas Ranger," begins
kicking butt and taking names on CBS. Unless the names are really hard
to spell, in which case, his partner Jimmy Trivette takes them down.

April 22: in 1998, on "South Park", after weeks of suspense, Mephisto
reveals that Eric Cartman's father is really his hemaphroditic mother,
who got someone else in the town pregnant.

April 23: in 1982, Benny Hill tells an American reporter that while
he's a lifelong bachelor with a televised persona of dressing up in
women's clothing and being a drunk and a dirty-old-man "I am not gay."
(What kind of sleazy sex crazed pervert do you think he is? Oh, that's
right.)

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 4/17: Eva Longoria, Barry Sonnenfeld
Tu 4/18: Jane Fonda, Shooter Jennings
We 4/19: Craig Ferguson, Alexis Bledel, Tom Russell
Th 4/20: Martin Short, Marcia Cross, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
(R 3/21/06)
Fr 4/21: Josh Hartnett, Chris Elliott, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (R 3/29/06)

Mo 4/24: Ray Romano, Willie Nelson (R 3/28/06)
Tu 4/25: Antonio Banderas, Patrice O'Neal, the Flaming Lips (R 3/30/06)
We 4/26: Billy Crystal, Johnny Damon (R 4/10/06)
Th 4/27: Michael Douglas, Emmylou Harris with Mark Knopfler
Fr 4/28: Keri Russell, human cannonball team Brian and Tina Miser,
Jerry Lee Lewis

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 4/17: Terry Bradshaw, Jim Cramer, Little Big Town
Tu 4/18: Kim Basinger, Sen. John McCain, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the
Ying Yang Twins
We 4/19: Kiefer Sutherland, Kristin Chenoweth, Matthew Sweet & Susanna
Hoffs
Th 4/20: Tom Green, David Gilmour
Fr 4/21: Randy Jackson, Jenny McCarthy, LeAnn Rimes

Mo 4/24: Robin Williams, Keke Palmer, Daniel Powter
Tu 4/25: Jamie Pressly, Avant
We 4/26: Howie Mandel, Godsmack
Th 4/27: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Merv Griffin
Fr 4/28: Hugh Jackman, Bruce Parry

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 4/17: Roselyn Sanchez, UB40 (R 4/6/06)
Tu 4/18: Frankie Muniz, Annie Duke, Train (R 3/30/06)
We 4/19: Ray Romano, Ken Shamrock, Tom Caltabiano (R 4/13/06)
Th 4/20: Howie Mandel, Rosanne Cash (R 3/21/06)
Fr 4/21: Joan Cusack, Mary McCormack, the New Cars (R 3/27/06)

Mo 4/24: Dennis Quaid, the Wiggles
Tu 4/25: Radha Mitchell, Bill Bailey
We 4/26: Jennifer Finnigan, Barry Sonnenfeld
Th 4/27: Andy Garcia, Kristin Chenoweth
Fr 4/28: Mandy Moore, Dave Barry, Rock Bottom Remainders

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 4/17: LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (R 1/10/06)
Tu 4/18: Jennifer Aniston, 50 Cent, Dan Naturman (R 11/8/05)
We 4/19: Dolly Parton, Molly Sims (R 10/14/05)
Th 4/20: The Rock, Andrea Mitchell, Ric Ocasek (R 10/21/05)
Fr 4/21: Brian Willaims, Susie Essman, Neil Young (R 11/1/05)

Mo 4/24: Philip Seymour Hoffman, John Krasinski, Neil Young (R 11/2/05)
Tu 4/25: Mandy Moore, Secret Machines
We 4/26: Darrell Hammond, Reggie Bush, Eagles of Death Metal
Th 4/27: Jim Gaffigan
Fr 4/28: Paul Rudd, Hawthorne Heights

Mo 5/1: U2 (R 10/6/05)
Tu 5/2: TBA
We 5/3: Taking Back Sunday
Th 5/4: Tom Hanks, Wolfmother
Fr 5/5: Edward Norton, the Strokes

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 4/17: David Boreanaz, Joshua Radin (R 3/7/06)
Tu 4/18: Milla Jovovich, Supergrass (R 3/1/06)
We 4/19: Aisha Tyler, Big City Rock (R 3/8/06)
Th 4/20: Flavor Flav, The Academy Is (R 3/9/06)
Fr 4/21: Quentin Tarantino, Jenna Fischer, Mat Kearney (R 1/13/06)

Mo 4/24: Michelle Rodriguez, Train (R 3/24/06)
Tu 4/25: Drew Rosenhaus, the Cloud Room
We 4/26: Cheryl Hines, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins
Th 4/27: Kiefer Sutherland, Panic! At the Disco
Fr 4/28: Natasha Henstridge, Andy Dick, Anthony Jeselnik, Metric

Mo 5/1: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/2: Ben Harper
We 5/3: Mekhi Phifer, Ben Harper
Th 5/4: Sarah Chalke, Ben Harper
Fr 5/5: Emmy Rossum, Ben Harper

Mo 5/8: Rerun TBA
Tu 5/9: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 5/10: Josh Lucas, Godsmack
Th 5/11: TBA
Fr 5/12: Jokoy

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 4/17: Jon Meacham
Tu 4/18: Ryan Nerz
We 4/19: Dennis Quaid
Th 4/20: Sen. Ted Kennedy

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 4/17: Reza Aslan
Tu 4/18: Anthony Romero
We 4/19: Caitlin Flanagan
Th 4/20: Ralph Nader

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 4/17: Paula Abdul, Enrico Colantoni, Mighty Gonzalez
Tu 4/18: Cheryl Hines, soccer star Landon Donovan, Bril
We 4/19: Eva Longoria, Dick Cavett, Dresden Dolls
Th 4/20: Kiefer Sutherland, "American Idol" castoff Kevin Covais,
Rocco DeLuca (R 3/24/06)
Fr 4/21: Regis Philbin, Barry Watson, Mike Birbiglia

Mo 4/24: Natasha Henstridge, Robert Wuhl, Phil Gordon
Tu 4/25: LL Cool J, Robert Klein
We 4/26: Ludacris, Atmosphere
Th 4/27: Susan Lucci, Rihanna
Fr 4/28: Godsmack

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 4/17: Eva Longoria, Kelly Monaco
Tu 4/18: Joan Rivers
We 4/19: Jane Fonda, Toby Keith
Th 4/20: Jeff Bridges, Missy Peregrym, Vanessa Lengies, Rob Morrow
Fr 4/21: Michael Douglas, the JammX Kids

Mo 4/24: Randy Jackson
Tu 4/25: Andy Garcia, Enrique Murciano
We 4/26: Angela Bassett, Michael Eisner, Nadine Velazquez
Th 4/27: Tom Bergeron
Fr 4/28: TBA

Mo 5/1: Laurence Fishburne

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 4/17: David Schwimmer, Barry Watson, "American Idol" castoff Bucky
Covington
Tu 4/18: Michael Douglas, Daniel Powter, Miss USA contestants
We 4/19: Willem Dafoe, Drew Lachey, Avant
Th 4/20: Craig Ferguson, Mandy Moore, Toto
Fr 4/21: Rachael Ray, Dennis Quaid, Cirque Du Soleil

Mo 4/24: Brooke Burns, the latest "American Idol" castoff, guest
co-host D.L. Hughley
Tu 4/25: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 4/26: Robin Williams, Jenny McCarthy
Th 4/27: Laurence Fishburne, Paula Dean, Cheryl Hines
Fr 4/28: Tom Selleck, the Goo Goo Dolls, Ashley Tisdale, guest co-host
Howie Mandel

Mo 5/1: Ving Rhames, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 5/2: K.T. Tunstall, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
We 5/3: Tom Cruise
Th 5/4: Michelle Rodriguez, Judge Judy Sheindlin
Fr 5/5: Jimmy Buffett, Teri Hatcher, guest co-host Sam Champion

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/17: Jeff Bridges, Jamie Foxx, "American Idol" castoff Bucky Covington
Tu 4/18: Randy Jackson, Rhea Perlman, Toby Keith, 10-year-old origami
artist Tristan Alan
We 4/19: Wanda Sykes, Poppy Montgomery
Th 4/20: Kiefer Sutherland, Maya Rudolph, free-diver Tanya Streeter
Fr 4/21: Rob Lowe, Kate Walsh, Teddy Geiger

Mo 4/24: Kim Raver, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 4/25: Sally Field, Kenny Rogers
We 4/26: Roseanne, David Boreanaz
Th 4/27: Robin Williams, Daniel Powter
Fr 4/28: Michael Douglas

Mo 5/1: Paris Hilton, the latest "American Idol" castoff

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/17: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gregory Itzin, David Ruggerio
Tu 4/18: Jerry O'Connell, Tommy Lasorda, Linda Dano
We 4/19: Wolfgang Puck, Rebecca Kolls, Lang Lang
Th 4/20: Barry Watson, David Tutera
Fr 4/21: Rob Morrow, Mario Batali, Missy Peregrym

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 4/17 Dangerous Kids
Tu 4/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin
We 4/19 Teen Dating and Abuse
Th 4/20 I Love Myself
Fr 4/21 Baby Wars

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/17 Wolfgang Puck (Celebrity Cooking Showdown)
Tu 4/18 Kelly Monaco (General Hospital & Dancing with the Stars)
We 4/19 Drew Lachey (Miss USA Pagent)
Th 4/20 Barry Watson (What About Brian)
Fr 4/21 Jeff Bridges (Stick It)

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 4/17 Guess who's on the phone? Jennifer Aniston sets the record
straight on $8 million dollar
weddings, breakups, and house-hunting! Then, fashion legend Oscar de
la Renta gives his
expert fashion advice and a preview of his new line. Plus, Oscar
winners do something
they've never done.
Tu 4/18 Like so many women, one woman's "picture perfect" life is not
what it seems. A suburban
mom confesses. Then, a woman who spent more than $165,000 to look like
a celebrity.
What lie are you living?
We 4/19 The story that took Oprah halfway around the world to the
place where one-in-four girls is
raped before her 16th birthday. Plus, a daughter's final wish is
granted. And the reaction
that is truly one of the great moments in life.
Th 4/20 The desperate plea as an abusive husband confesses...and our
cameras follow every step
of the way. Can their marriage be saved? If you've ever been screamed
at, called names
or humiliated, then you need to watch this show.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 4/22 Ace and Gary, The Ambiguosly Gay Duo

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 4/17 Noon Megan Mullally / Clay Aiken
11 PM Jennifer Aniston / Sting
3 AM Rosie O'Donnell / James Taylor
Tu 4/18 Noon Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
11 PM Drew Barrymore / Garbage
3 AM Roseanne / Green Day
We 4/19 Noon Ellen Degeneres / No Doubt
11 PM Lindsay Lohan / Usher
3 AM Lucy Lawless / Elliott Smith
Th 4/20 Noon Kate Hudson / Radiohead
11 PM Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
3 AM Lisa Kudrow / Sheryl Crow
Fr 4/21 Noon Nia Vardalos / Eve
11 PM Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
3 AM Courteney Cox / Dave Matthews Band

SEQUELS BETTER THAN BASIC INSTINCT 2,
Mo 4/17 Less than Zero 2: :Negative One
Tu 4/18 Sphere 2: Dodecahedron
We 4/19 To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar 2: Woof: Best
Wishes, Rin Tin Tin
Th 4/20 Stripes II: Polka Dots
Fr 4/21 Nuns on the RUn II: A Hard Habit to Break

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 4/17 Newsweek managing editor Jon Meacham / Journalist Ann Louise
Bardach
Tu 4/18 Former Central Command chief (Ret.) Gen. Anthony Zinni /
Author Hyder Akbar
We 4/19 Los Angeles Times Mexico City bureau chief Hector Tobar /
Actor Bradley Whitford
Th 4/20 Delta Force founding member Eric Haney / Author Carol Pott
Fr 4/21 Actor Ricardo Antonio Chavira

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 4/17 Sentinel star Eva Longoria puts us on alert--and we check out
the latest from Chris Brown.
Tu 4/18 We gather 'round the studio to hear an angel sing--Ashley
Parker Angel, that is!
We 4/19 Missy Elliott goes to the mat for the Stick It soundtrack,
Mandy Moore shares her American Dreamz, and we get a 1st Look at
Hoobastank's latest.
Th 4/20 Black Eyed Peas and Pussycat Dolls on the same day? Do we
sense a dance-off? Plus--Nick Lachey checks in!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/17 The Dangers of Modeling with Emme and Beverly Peele
Tu 4/18 Abusive Relationships with Dr. Michelle Callahan
We 4/19 Women Who Love Gay Men with Joe Kort
Th 4/20 I Struggle With the Same Issues As the "Top Models"
Fr 4/21 The ABCs of STDs with HBO's "Sex Inspectors"

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
April 11, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

ABC-TV ON YOUR IBM-PC
So now you can stream ABC's two most popular shows on your computer,
for free, with uninterruptable commercial interruptions, for a limited
time. What's the big deal? Here's my take.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/abctv_on_your_i.html

CLOTHES CALLS
My take on "American Idol" fashions, such as they are. As seen on my
new "Idol" blog:
http://icriticus.com/idol

TV BARN RADIO RADIO RADIO
Same story, three ways.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/tv_barn_radio_r.html

STUFF YOU COULDA WATCHED....
If I'd told you about 'em in time:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/stuff_you_could.html

IS GOP BACKPEDALING ON INDECENCY?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/is_gop_backpeda.html

COLOR ME IM-PRESSED
With our new color presses.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/color_me_impres.html

KATIE COURIC: THE DEFINITIVE CHART
Nobody graphs the queen of TV news like I do.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/katie_the_defin.html
Related story: Katie says bye-bye.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/katie_says_byeb.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

April 10: In 1989, NBC's "Another World" gains another heroine as
Frankie Frame arrives in Big City to investigate who killed her uncle
Jason in the house of mirrors (Final Answer? Nicole.)

April 11: In 1980, Byron Allen, Roy Orbison, Bobby Vinton, and Red
Buttons appear in the final episode of the variety show "Pink Lady &
Jeff." The series (with "rising star comedian" Jeff Altman and the
non-English speaking Japanese singing duo Mitsuyo Tsukuda and Keiko
Masuda has been charitably described by TV Barn friend and "Pink Lady
& Jeff" head writer Mark Evanier as "a bad idea for a show, an
impossible schedule, a poor budget (and) even a bad time slot ... with
a director (and stars) who hated doing the show."

April 12: in 1958, "Have Gun, Will Travel's" gunslinger Paladin takes
on an often untold shade of racism -- the exploitation of Chinese
immigrants. In "Hey Boy's Revenge," our hero's young friend enlists
him to help solve the murder of his brother, who was killed for
complaining about the harsh working conditions of his railroad gang to
his Caucasian employer ("Bonanza's" Pernell Roberts).

April 13: in 1946, Dr. Allen B. DuMont, inventor of the "tuning eye /
Electron-Ray tubes" launches his own "Du Mont" television lineup (as
America's fourth official commercial broadcast network) on
Pittsburgh's WDTV, channel 3, and New York's WABD, channel 5. The
grand experiment ends in 1956.

April 14: in 1989, The Muppets go primetime on NBC's "The Jim Henson
Hour." Now eight years since the Muppet Show ended, Kermit has a new
crew helping him run a television station (including Waldo C. Graphic,
the first completely computer generated character on network
television.) The second half of each episode features folk tales with
a contemporary spin with the critically acclaimed "Storyteller" series
hosted by John Hurt. While the show only runs 13 episodes, Henson does
win his final Emmy for best direction of this series, before dying May
16, 1990.

April 15: in 1987, NBC announces plans for "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"
a miniseries based on the "nonfiction" book of the same name by Lucy
de Barbin about her secret 24-year love affair with "The King." The
project is never started, although FOX later tries (and fails) to
revive it in 1994, followed by similar failure at CBS in 1996.

April 16: in 1965, on the final episode of "The Jack Benny Program,"
America's favorite skinflint relives a World War II bombing raid at
The Palladium, with help from the younger generation of musical
comedy, "The Smothers Brothers."

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 4/10: Billy Crystal, Johnny Damon
Tu 4/11: Geena Davis, Aaron Eckhart, Sonya Kitchell
We 4/12: Mandy Moore, Jason Randal, Ben Harper
Th 4/13: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tyler Perry, Death Cab For Cutie
Fr 4/14: Paul Rudd, Gretchen Mol, Mary J. Blige

Mo 4/17: Eva Longoria, Barry Sonnenfeld
Tu 4/18: Jane Fonda, Shooter Jennings
We 4/19: Craig Ferguson, Alexis Bledel, Tom Russell

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 4/10: Paula Abdul, Chris Matthews, Sean Paul
Tu 4/11: Michael Douglas, Chelsea Handler, Toby Keith
We 4/12: Jamie Foxx, Mary Lynn Rajskub
Th 4/13: Dennis Quaid, North Pole explorers Lonnie Dupre & Eric
Larson, Eagles of Death Metal
Fr 4/14: Blue October

Mo 4/17: Terry Bradshaw, Jim Cramer, Little Big Town
Tu 4/18: Kim Basinger, Sen. John McCain, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the
Ying Yang Twins
We 4/19: Kiefer Sutherland
Th 4/20: Randy Jackson, LeAnn Rimes

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 4/10: Chi McBride, Bebe Neuwirth, Christian Finnegan
Tu 4/11: John Corbett, Carrie Fisher
We 4/12: Toby Keith, Carl Hiaasen
Th 4/13: Ray Romano, Ken Shamrock
Fr 4/14: Melina Kanakaredes, Kyle McLachlan, Shinedown

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 4/10: Anthony Hopkins, Caroline Rhea, Mick Foley (R 9/14/05)
Tu 4/11: Hank Azaria, Mimi Rogers, Pink
We 4/12: David Schwimmer, Patton Oswalt, Melissa Cross
Th 4/13: Jarod Miller, Regina Hall, Teddy Thompson
Fr 4/14: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Daniel Powter

Mo 4/17: LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (R 1/10/06)
Tu 4/18: Jennifer Aniston, 50 Cent, Dan Naturman (R 11/8/05)
We 4/19: Dolly Parton, Molly Sims (R 10/14/05)
Th 4/20: The Rock, Andrea Mitchell, Ric Ocasek (R 10/21/05)
Fr 4/21: Brian Willaims, Susie Essman, Neil Young (R 11/1/05)

Mo 4/24: Philip Seymour Hoffman, John Krasinski, Neil Young (R 11/2/05)
Tu 4/25: Mandy Moore, Secret Machines
We 4/26: Darrell Hammond, Reggie Bush, Eagles of Death Metal
Th 4/27: Jim Gaffigan
Fr 4/28: Paul Rudd, Hawthorne Heights

Mo 5/1: U2 (R 10/6/05)
Tu 5/2: TBA
We 5/3: Taking Back Sunday
Th 5/4: Tom Hanks, Wolfmother
Fr 5/5: Edward Norton, the Strokes

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 4/10: Alyson Hannigan, Dilated Peoples (R 2/28/06)
Tu 4/11: Ben Kingsley, Juvenile
We 4/12: Jon Heder, Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders
Th 4/13: Seth Green, Mike O'Connell
Fr 4/14: Molly Sims, Anna Faris, Feist

Mo 4/17: David Boreanaz, Joshua Radin (R 3/7/06)
Tu 4/18: Milla Jovovich, Supergrass (R 3/1/06)
We 4/19: Aisha Tyler, Big City Rock (R 3/8/06)
Th 4/20: Flavor Flav, The Academy Is (R 3/9/06)
Fr 4/21: Quentin Tarantino, Jenna Fischer, Mat Kearney (R 1/13/06)

Mo 4/24: Rerun TBA
Tu 4/25: Drew Rosenhaus, the Cloud Room
We 4/26: Cheryl Hines, Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins
Th 4/27: Kiefer Sutherland
Fr 4/28: Natasha Henstridge, Andy Dick, Metric

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 4/10: Queen Latifah (R 3/29/06)
Tu 4/11: Michael Gordon (R 3/27/06)
We 4/12: Fareed Zakaria (R 3/28/06)
Th 4/13: Sharon Stone (R 3/30/06)

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 4/10: Bruce Bartlett (R 3/29/06)
Tu 4/11: Sen. Gary Hart (R 3/27/06)
We 4/12: Michael Brown (R 3/28/06)
Th 4/13: Robert Greenwald (R 3/30/06)

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 4/10: Rebecca Romijn, Judge Marilyn Milian, T-Pain
Tu 4/11: Chris Matthews, Craig Bierko, Josh Turner
We 4/12: Wilmer Valderamma, Chris Elliott, the Wiggles
Th 4/13: Jamie Lynn Sigler, Larry the Cable Guy, Gogol Bordello (R
3/22/06)
Fr 4/14: Charlie Sheen, Rube Goldberg Contest winners, K.T. Tunstall

Mo 4/17: Paula Abdul, Enrico Colantoni, Mighty Gonzalez
Tu 4/18: Cheryl Hines, soccer star Landon Donovan, Bril
We 4/19: Eva Longoria, Dick Cavett, Dresden Dolls
Th 4/20: Kiefer Sutherland, "American Idol" castoff Kevin Covais,
Rocco DeLuca (R 3/24/06)
Fr 4/21: Regis Philbin, Barry Watson, Mike Birbiglia

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 4/10: Naveen Andrews
Tu 4/11: Hank Azaria, Cesar Millan, Anthony Geary
We 4/12: Geena Davis, Anna Faris, Regina Hall
Th 4/13: Kathie Lee Gifford, Tyler Perry, Michelle Kwan
Fr 4/14: LL Cool J

Mo 4/17: Eva Longoria, Kelly Monaco
Tu 4/18: TBA
We 4/19: Jane Fonda, Toby Keith
Th 4/20: Jeff Bridges, Missy Peregrym, Vanessa Lengies, Rob Morrow
Fr 4/21: Michael Douglas, the JammX Kids

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 4/10: Carmen Electra, "American Idol" castoff Mandisa
Tu 4/11: Pink, Billy Crystal
We 4/12: Vanna White
Th 4/13: Chris Rock
Fr 4/14: Hugh Grant

Mo 4/17: David Schwimmer, Barry Watson, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 4/18: Michael Douglas, Daniel Powter
We 4/19: Willem Dafoe, Drew Lachey
Th 4/20: Craig Ferguson, Mandy Moore, Toto
Fr 4/21: Rachael Ray, Dennis Quaid, Cirque Du Soleil

Mo 4/24: The latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 4/25: Kristin Chenoweth, Rihanna
We 4/26: Robin Williams, Jenny McCarthy
Th 4/27: Laurence Fishburne, Paula Dean, Cheryl Hines
Fr 4/28: Tom Selleck, the Goo Goo Dolls

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/10: Anjelica Huston, Justin Chambers
Tu 4/11: Rebecca Romijn, Stephen Collins, Les Stroud
We 4/12: David Spade, Catherine Keener
Th 4/13: Jeff Corwin, Ne-Yo
Fr 4/14: Charlie Sheen, Pink

Mo 4/17: Jeff Bridges, Jamie Foxx
Tu 4/18: Randy Jackson, Rhea Perlman, Toby Keith
We 4/19: TBA
Th 4/20: Kiefer Sutherland, free-diver Tanya Streeter
Fr 4/21: Rob Lowe

Mo 4/24: The latest "American Idol" castoff

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/10: Craig Bierko, Daniel Dae Kim, Jordan Bridges
Tu 4/11: Rob Estes, Robert Wuhl, Glynis McCants
We 4/12: Carmen Electra, Lane Garrison, Amy Irving
Th 4/13: Michael Rapaport, Michael McKean, UB40
Fr 4/14: Anna Faris, Barry Watson, Patricia Yeo

ALWAYS REMEMBER, Microsoft Outlook
Mo 4/10 The Fifth of November
Tu 4/11 The Alamo
We 4/12 To tie your shoes
Th 4/13 9/11
Fr 4/14 Just how lame Ryan Reynolds was on Two Guys and a Girl

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 4/10 Richard Gardner, Former US Ambassador to Italy and Spain
Guest Host: Tony Judt, Author / Director, Remarque Institute, NYU

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 4/10 Settle This!
Tu 4/11 What Are You Afraid Of?
We 4/12 Dangerous Love
Th 4/13 Engaged Too Soon
Fr 4/14 The Dr. Phil Foundation Helping Kids

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/10 Mo'Nique, star of the new movie Phat Girlz', joins Martha for
a very funny lesson in floral arranging. Then, Allie Lewis, senior
Food editor of Everyday Food and a host of the PBS series Everyday
Food, and Martha teach a healthy session of Cooking School: How to
Steam Artichokes. And, tennis great Martina Navratilova helps you get
in shape for spring with a brand-new book and a recipe for
Parsley-Flaxseed Pesto Pasta.
Tu 4/11 The very funny Joan Rivers stops by to make a Passover
favorite: Matzo Latkes and Horseradish Cream. Then, Martha's friend
and a host of the PBS series Everyday Food, Margot Olshan, helps
Martha teach another Cooking School lesson: How to Make Chicken Soup.
Plus, master chocolatier Jacques Torres makes a Chocolate Easter
Rabbit and offers suggestions for other holiday treats.
We 4/12 Al Roker of the Today show makes Roast Leg of Lamb with Martha
just in time for Easter. Then, John Barricelli, a host of the PBS
series Everyday Food, and Martha teach you how to make Coffee Ice
Cream and Praline Sauce. And, Martha asked her staff to share their
favorite egg-dyeing techniques, and now she's sharing the winning
ideas. Plus, don't miss a spring cleaning Good Thing: Assembling a
Cleaning Kit.
Th 4/13 Singer/actress/author Naomi Judd stops by to learn how to make
a lemon tart that is so easy to do at home it may surprise you. Then,
Jeff Corwin of Animal Planet brings exotic animals from the Himalayan
region to the studio�one of Martha's favorite segments. Plus, Martha
answers audience questions and offers another spring cleaning Good
Thing: Mopping Floors.
Fr 4/14 Actress Ashley Judd visits and makes Panko-Breaded Fish Sticks
and Asparagus�an easy recipe you could make for dinner. Then, it's the
last day of Cooking School with New York City pastry chef Eric
Bertoia, who helps Martha make a passion fruit souffl�there couldn't
be a better way to end this delicious series.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 4/10 Stupid Girls w/Pink
Tu 4/11 What Bill and Melinda Gates Want You to Know
We 4/12 American Schools in Crisis
Th 4/13 Have You Let Yourself Go? Part 2: The Big Question: Who Am I?
Fr 4/14 Inside the Lives of People Living on Minimum Wage

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 4/15 Lindsay Lohan / Pearl Jam

SATURDAY NIGHT RERUNS, E!
Mo 4/10 Noon Macaulay Culkin / Tin Machine
11 PM Drew Barrymore / Macy Gray
3 AM Christina Applegate / Midnight Oil
Tu 4/11 Noon Fred Savage / Technotronic
11 PM Christina Aguilera / Maroon 5
3 AM Drew Barrymore / Squeeze
We 4/12 Noon Luke Perry / Mick Jagger
11 PM Mena Suvari / Lenny Kravitz
3 AM Justine Bateman / Terrance Trent D'Arby
Th 4/13 Noon Malcolm-Jamal Warner / Run DMC
11 PM Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill
3 AM Elijah Wood / Jet
Fr 4/14 Noon Neve Campbell / David Bowie
1 PM Scott Wolf / Natalie Imbruglia
11 PM Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon
3 AM Katie Holmes / Dave Matthews Band

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 4/10 Scientist and global warming expert Tim Flannery and singer
Ne-Yo, who performs a song from his debut CD, "In My Words."
Tu 4/11 French philosopher and writer Bernard-Henri L�vy and
rapper-actor LL Cool J.
We 4/12 Journalist Carl Hiaasen, co-producer of the new family film Hoot.
Th 4/13 Religious scholar Karen Armstrong and Yale junior and author
Hyder Akbar.
Fr 4/14 Editor-writer Lila Azam Zanganeh and country music superstar
Toby Keith.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 4/10 Can co-host Carmen Electra handle Ashton Kutcher? Will LL Cool
J keep 'Control'? And what about 50 Cent's new 'Best Friend'? Find out
today!
Tu 4/11 Want a 1st Look at Fort Minor's new 'Where'd You Go'? Well,
you've come to the right place!
We 4/12 Mariah shows off her new video and heats up Times Square.
Plus, the legendary Cipha Sounds is here.
Th 4/13 'MakeDamnSure' you don't miss our Taking Back Sunday 1st
Look--and check out our Saving Jane Pre-RL while you're at it.

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/10 Deadly eating disorders
Tu 4/11 The Ex-Factor
We 4/12 Russell Simmons
Th 4/13 Carmen Electra and the Cast of "Scary Movie 4"
Fr 4/14 Teenzilla

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
April 3, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

PRODUCT PLACEMENTS GONE WILD
So if you're HBO, and the whole crazy world of television around you
has lost its mind, and every second of airtime is being sold to the
highest bidder, the last thing you want to be doing is looking like a
product shill. Right?
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/14225715.htm

Chart: Who's plugging what.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/04/product_placeme.html

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME ...
TeeVee.org's annual April Fools' parody is its most ambitious yet.
http://teeveepedia.teevee.org/index.php/Main_Page

HANDS OFFA MY REMOTE
A new poll finds Americans not nearly so interested in curbing
indecency as the FCC.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/hands_offa_my_r.html

INCIDENT AT INDEPENDENCE
Pot-stirring news station KCTV-5 is at it again. This time, a
freelancer it sent in to expose police brutality in Independence is
arrested, and the two sides have very different stories.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/incident_at_ind.html

***

INTRODUCTION TV BARN'S VERY OWN "IDOL" BLOG
What? Another "American Idol" weblog? Yeah, but this one's got a brain.

http://www.icriticus.com/idol/

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

April 3: in 1988, Willem Dafoe, Robert De Niro, Michael
J. Fox, Sean Penn, Kathleen Turner and Robin Williams
are among those lending their voices to servicemen
writing home from the war as HBO steams open "Dear
America: Letters Home from Vietnam." Instead of
recreations, the film uses newsreel footage, NBC
newscasts, veterans' home movies, and music from Bruce
Springsteen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, the Doors and
the Rolling Stones.

April 4: in 1984, Bye Bye Bozo! Bob Bell retires as
WGN's famed clown after 23 years of giggles and
greasepaint.

April 5: In 1980, It's taken 12 seasons but Steve
McGarrett of the "Hawaii 5-0" finally catches his
nemesis Wo Fat in the series finale. Says Wo Fat, "A
fitting end, McGarrett. Through a dozen adventures which
have had no resolution, we come now to the final act of
this, this morality play." To which McGarrett can only
add, "I've waited a long time for this, Wo Fat. Now I'm
going to have the unique pleasure of booking you
myself."

April 6: In 1967, "Star Trek's" Captain Kirk faces the
dilemma of letting social worker Joan Collins die in the
time-travel episode, "City on the Edge of Forever." If
she lives, the Nazis will win World War II. If she dies,
we won't have to see her in another episode.
Instinctively, Kirk makes the right choice.

April 7: In 1927, images of Commerce Secretary Herbert
Hoover are the highlight of the successful long-distance
demonstration of television, allowing viewers in New
York City to see all the excitement happening in
Washington. Oddly, people will eventually decide to buy
sets anyway.

April 8: In 1977, Gabe Kaplan hosts tonight's episode of
NBC's "The Midnight Special," with Rod Stewart, ABBA,
and Gary Wright. It's enough to make white supremacists
seriously question their values.

April 9: In 1981, Marla Gibbs allows herself to become
part of a question on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" by
"Checking In" to New York City's Saint Fredrick Hotel to
become its executive housekeeper, thus spinning off from
"All In the Family" spinoff "The Jeffersons" -- if only
for a month.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 4/3: Family Guy Top Ten, Amanda Peet, Jack Hanna (R 2/23/06)
Tu 4/4: Bruce Willis, the Strokes (R 2/27/06)
We 4/5: Natalie Portman, Al Franken (R 3/14/06)
Th 4/6: Denzel Washington, Diablo Cody (R 3/20/06)
Fr 4/7: Harry Connick Jr., Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (R 3/2/06)

Mo 4/10: TBA
Tu 4/11: TBA
We 4/12: Ben Harper
Th 4/13: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Death Cab For Cutie
Fr 4/14: Paul Rudd

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 4/3: Rosie O'Donnell, inventor Chris Paplhan, Fall Out Boy
Tu 4/4: Jennifer Aniston, John Caparulo, All-American Rejects
We 4/5: Sharon Stone, Jon Heder, Big & Rich
Th 4/6: Paul Newman, Catherine Keener, Mitch Fatel
Fr 4/7: David Spade, Ivanka Trump, Van Hunt

Mo 4/10: Paula Abdul, Chris Matthews, Sean Paul
Tu 4/11: Michael Douglas
We 4/12: Jamie Foxx, Mary Lynn Rajskub
Th 4/13: Dennis Quaid, Eagles of Death Metal
Fr 4/14: Blue October

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 4/3: Anjelica Huston, Dilated Peoples, Mehcad Brooks
Tu 4/4: Rosie O'Donnell
We 4/5: Sam Elliott, Paget Brewster
Th 4/6: Sir Ben Kingsley, Landon Donovan, UB40
Fr 4/7: TBA

Mo 4/10: TBA
Tu 4/11: John Corbett
We 4/12: Toby Keith, Carl Hiaasen
Th 4/13: Ray Romano, boxer Arturo Gatti

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 4/3: Tom Arnold, Howie Mandel, Motion City Soundtrack (R 8/17/05)
Tu 4/4: She Wants Revenge
We 4/5: Lucy Liu, Jon Lovitz, beer and spirits expert Michael Jackson
Th 4/6: Kris Kristofferson
Fr 4/7: Fiona Apple

Mo 4/10: Anthony Hopkins, Caroline Rhea, Mick Foley (R)
Tu 4/11: Pink
We 4/12: Melissa Cross
Th 4/13: Jarod Miller, Chris Meloni
Fr 4/14: Regina Hall, Daniel Powter

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 4/3: Fred Willard, Jarod Miller (R 2/9/06)
Tu 4/4: Frankie Muniz, Robin Thicke
We 4/5: Lukas Haas
Th 4/6: Lucy Liu, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Fr 4/7: Jon Lovitz, Nick Cannon, Morgan Murphy, Rhett Miller

Mo 4/10: Rerun TBA
Tu 4/11: Ben Kingsley, Juvenile
We 4/12: Jon Heder, Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders
Th 4/13: Seth Green
Fr 4/14: Anna Farris, Feist

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 4/3: Ricky Gervais
Tu 4/4: Studs Terkel
We 4/5: Gen. Tony Zinni
Th 4/6: Josh Hartnett

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 4/3: Michael Smerconish
Tu 4/4: Rev. Jesse Jackson
We 4/5: Harvey Mansfield
Th 4/6: Markos Moulitsas

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 4/3: Seth Green, Chop, Anthony Jeselnik
Tu 4/4: Anthony Anderson, Pete Rose
We 4/5: Carmen Electra, David Gest, People in Planes
Th 4/6: Rerun TBA
Fr 4/7: Tori Spelling, C. Thomas Howell, T.I.

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 4/3: Melina Kanakaredes, John Corbett
Tu 4/4: Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, Neil Cavuto
We 4/5: Liam Neeson, Rascal Flatts, Mo'Nique
Th 4/6: Grace Elisabeth Hasselbeck's first birthday party
Fr 4/7: Rob Schneider, Cal Ripken, Matt and Amy Roloff

Mo 4/10: TBA
Tu 4/11: Hank Azaria, Cesar Milian
We 4/12: Anna Faris, Regina Hall
Th 4/13: Tyler Perry

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 4/3: Antonio Banderas, "American Idol" castoff Lisa Tucker
Tu 4/4: Rebecca Romijn, Jon Voight
We 4/5: Lucy Liu
Th 4/6: Julianna Margulies, Mario Batali
Fr 4/7: Guest co-host Randy Jackson

Mo 4/10: Carmen Electra, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 4/11: Pink, Billy Crystal
We 4/12: Vanna White
Th 4/13: Chris Rock
Fr 4/14: Hugh Grant

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/3: Brendan Fraser, Shakira with Wyclef Jean, Sherri Shepherd
Tu 4/4: John Goodman, Tim McGraw
We 4/5: Kelsey Grammer, LL Cool J
Th 4/6: Sharon Stone, Whoopi Goldberg, DMC
Fr 4/7: Jennifer Aniston

Mo 4/10: Anjelica Huston
Tu 4/11: Rebecca Romijn, Stephen Collins, Les Stroud
We 4/12: David Spade, Catherine Keener
Th 4/13: Jeff Corwin, Ne-Yo
Fr 4/14: Charlie Sheen, Pink

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 4/3: Orlando Jones, Brian Cox, Marc Summers
Tu 4/4: Ray Romano, Maria Shaw, Ming Tsai
We 4/5: John Corbett, Lesley Ann Warren, John Edward
Th 4/6: Tori Spelling, Anson Mount
Fr 4/7: Mo'Nique, Faith Prince, the Five Browns

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 4/3 Guest Host: BILL MOYERS, PBS Journalist W/ DANIEL C. DENNETT
Philosopher Author, "Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon"

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 4/3 Mommy Dearest
Tu 4/4 I Want My Ex Back
We 4/5 Loving Dumb
Th 4/6 Plastic People
Fr 4/7 Social Taboos: Is This Normal?

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/3 Antonio Sabato Jr. of The Bold and the Beautiful makes Classic
Rhubarb Fool and Panna Cotta. Then, Martha and Darcy Miller (Martha
Stewart Weddings) create simple and inexpensive floral bouquets that
will last forever. And, Martha teaches you how to saut� with a
delicious recipe: Pork Medallions and Mushrooms. Plus, find out how
you can keep your family safe�it's a Good Thing
Tu 4/4 CNN's Nancy Grace joins Martha to make the Perfect Piecrust and
Blueberry Pie. Then, Martha and her makeup artist Eva Scrivo give one
lucky bride a make-under; find out how to apply makeup like a pro.
And, Martha explains another Cooking School Lesson: How to Buy Fish.
Plus, a dish from celebrity chef Nobu Matsuhisa: Black Cod with Miso.
We 4/5 Aisha Tyler (Friends, Ghost Whisperer) joins Martha for the
latest Cooking School Lesson: How to Make Martha's Signature Sugar
Cookies. Then, Martha and Darcy Miller (Martha Stewart Weddings) show
off some of the latest fashions for flower girls. And, Dog Whisperer
Cesar Millan shares his secrets for how to make your dog behave.
Th 4/6 Sheryl Lee Ralph (ER) makes the Perfect Chef's Salad as part of
Martha's Cooking School. Then, meet a talented family of five siblings
who all went to Juilliard when the 5 Browns perform live in the
studio. Plus, brides-to-be ask Darcy Miller of Martha Stewart Weddings
their most pressing questions.
Fr 4/7 Actress Sharon Stone visits Martha and learns how to make the
perfect white cake�from mixing the batter to making the frosting.
Then, the studio audience is given the rare opportunity to ask Sharon
Stone personal questions. Plus, Martha and Darcy Miller (Martha
Stewart Weddings) create unique tulip centerpieces that make great
decorations for a spring party, Easter celebration or a shower�bridal
or baby.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 4/8 Antonion Banderas / Mary J. Blige

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 4/3 Ken Mehlman, Chair, Republican National Committee / singer Van Hunt
Tu 4/4 Former U.S. Senator Gary Hart / author Anne Lamott
We 4/5 Sir Ben Kingsley
Th 4/6 Political analyst Kevin Phillips / rapper, actor Tip Harris
Fr 4/7 Economist William Easterly / Seth Green

TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU, Coming soon
Mo 4/3 The con is on
Tu 4/4 She had given up on love
We 4/5 Only one man can save them all
Th 4/6 In a world without hope
Fr 4/7 Until they learned to dance

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 4/3 The Amazin' Milian gives us a 1st Look, Rebecca Romijn
sprinkles some Pepper and we face our Call to Greatness.
Tu 4/4 Bo Bice performs, Antonio Banderas busts a move and Paul Wall
drops a Click 2 Pick!
We 4/5 Pink's Not Dead--she's in the studio! Plus--an Avenged
Sevenfold Click 2 Pick and a Missy Elliott 1st Look!
Th 4/6 Rob Schneider gets off the Bench and onto TRL--and we get a
Daniel Powter Pre-RL!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 4/3 A picture lasts forever and these women were inspired to make
major changes in their lives after seeing themselves in a photograph.
A woman found the motivation to lose 60 pounds after looking at a
photo of herself next to her skinnier twin sister. A young woman,
frustrated that her senior portrait included the braces she's been
wearing for six years, receives a major life change! And, a stunningly
graphic photo scares a woman into leaving the man who abused her and
finding the courage to move on. Plus, a guest has a photo taken during
the show to give her the incentive she needs to change her life forever!
Tu 4/4 Your backstage pass to the most popular networking destination
on the web! Join Tyra as she throws a MySpace.com party on the roof of
her studio. Online chatters meet face to face for the first time and
one guest even proposes marriage! Two of MySpace.com's most popular
members, former "Baywatch" star Jeremy Jackson and internet vixen
Christine Dolce, tell Tyra how they use the site to make money, make
friends and even make out! Plus, "Beauty and the Geek" star Richard
Rubin teaches Tyra techno-tips and helps her create her own profile at
www.myspace.com/tyrabanksshow!
We 4/5 Updates from your favorite former guests who made major life
changes! The Villegas family returns to unveil their amazing beauty
salon decorated to resemble "The Tyra Banks Show" set. Check in with a
woman who left a bad relationship and finally has a reason to smile
thanks to a permanent makeover for life. The winner of the first "Tyra
Show Top Model" competition gets some tough love from Tyra when she
returns full of excuses. The four women who teamed up with Tyra and
Special K share video diaries from their journey to find "The Prize
Inside." Plus, a supermodel walks the runway in an outfit created by
an aspiring designer who won a competition on a past show!
Th 4/6 Guests attempt to conquer their overwhelming fears! Having
overcome her own fear of dolphins, Tyra and fear expert Dr. Weiderhold
help guests tackle their unique phobias of clowns, garden gnomes,
ovens and even styrofoam. Don't miss the on-set challenges as they
attempt to face their fears and the amazing rewards they receive for
their courageous acts.
Fr 4/7 Everyone deserves to feel foxy! Tyra and the author of "Frumpy
To Foxy in 15 Minutes Flat" show you how to change your look with
easy, do-it-yourself, style tricks! A woman who works at an aquarium
trades in her wetsuits, shorts and t-shirts after a makeover ambush.
Tyra helps a woman who lost more than 100 pounds learn how to dress
her new body, and she shows a woman who has gained a few pounds how to
work her curvier figure. Plus, a newly single mom gains a new
sophisticated style to re-enter the workplace, and a young girl gets a
foxy bedroom makeover to match her fashionista lifestyle.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
March 27, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

THE SHIELD - NOW WHAT?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/the_shield_now_.html
Related article:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/a_timely_piece.html

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - WHERE MODESTY AND TASTE
ARE NO OBJECT
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/monday_night_fo.html

BUCK OWENS, RIP
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/buck_owens_rip.html


***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

March 27 : in 1989, Snow White and her "blind date for the evening,"
Rob Lowe, welcome an audience of 1.5 billion people to the Academy
Awards with a surreal rendition of Credence Clearwater Revival's
"Proud Mary," ending with the girl being tossed atop a giant mound of
popcorn. Ms. White's parents at the Disney corporation are less than
pleased by the unauthorized dance number, and failing to receive a
publicly demanded apology, sue the Academy asking for unspecified
damages for copyright infringement, unfair competition
and dilution of business reputation.

March 28 : in 1967, not even an assassin's bullet can stop Raymond
Burr from fighting crime as partially paralyzed policeman Robert
"Ironside." The now wheelchair-bound detective is working as a special
consultant to the San Francisco Police Department, with help from his
former assistants Detective Sgt. Ed Brown, and policewoman Eve
Whitfield, now his aide and bodyguard.

March 29 : in 1994, take a slightly neurotic stand up comedian, put in
a great timeslot behind your network's biggest hit, allow them to have
silly conversations about sex (or "barking during the act" in the
pilot) and you have... "These Friends Of Mine" (aka "Ellen") starring
everyone's favorite heterosexual Ellen DeGeneres.

March 30 : in 1978, "Grandma Comes Home" to "Waltons" mountain.
Actress Ellen Corby returns to the series a year after suffering a stroke.

March 31 : in 1987, twenty minutes into the future, investigative
reporter Edison Carter stumbles upon the new advertising technique
created by his bosses at Network 23 -- Blipverts -- commercials shown
at such a high speed viewers can't switch channels to avoid seeing
them. Unfortunately, when viewers of lower intelligence watch the ads,
their heads explode. But Carter being chased by hired goons and ready
to go public with the deadly secret, is taken out during his escape
and finds himself flying face-first from his motorcycle into a lowered
parking garage sign. Network CEO, Ned Grossberg, allows wunderkind
Bryce Lynch to create a computer simulation of Carter's mind to find
out what he knows, but decided to let his reporter die. However, both
the real Edison Carter and the altered ego turn out to be more than
Grossberg bargained for, in ABC's "Max Headroom."

April 1 : in 1963, ABC invites viewers to examine the lives of Port
Charles Nurse Jessie Brewer and her unfaithful young husband Dr. Phil
Brewer at the town's "General Hospital."

April 2 : in 1971, after five years, ABC drives a stake into the heart
of supernatural soap "Dark Shadows," though the show will briefly
return to prime time on NBC in 1991.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 3/27: Sharon Stone, Mark Fainaru-Wada & Lance Williams
Tu 3/28: Ray Romano, Willie Nelson
We 3/29: Josh Hartnett, Chris Elliott, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Th 3/30: Antonio Banderas, the Flaming Lips
Fr 3/31: Liza Minnelli, Al Lubel

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 3/27: Lucy Liu, John Leguizamo, Ne-Yo
Tu 3/28: Billy Crystal, Dame Edna, Augustana
We 3/29: Rob Schneider, Carmen Electra, the Strokes
Th 3/30: Ryan Seacrest, Jenna Fischer, Rascal Flatts
Fr 3/31: Rebecca Romijn, Chop, Beth Orton
Mo 4/3: Rosie O'Donnell, inventor Chris Paplhan, Fall Out Boy
Tu 4/4: Jennifer Aniston, John Caparulo, All-American Rejects
We 4/5: Sharon Stone, Jon Heder, Big & Rich
Th 4/6: Paul Newman, Catherine Keener, Mitch Fatel

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 3/27: Joan Cusack, Mary McCormack, the New Cars
Tu 3/28: Jane Kaczmarek, college basketball analyst Rick Majerus, Tom
Fontana
We 3/29: John Goodman, Angela Nissell, Alkaline Trio
Th 3/30: Frankie Muniz, Laila Ali, Train
Fr 3/31: Chris Kattan, Mo'Nique, Ozomatli with Herb Alpert
Mo 4/3: TBA
Tu 4/4: Rosie O'Donnell, David McCallum
We 4/5: Sam Elliott
Th 4/6: Sir Ben Kingsley, UB40
Fr 4/7: Stanley Tucci

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 3/27: Billy Bob Thornton, Patton Oswalt, the Hold Steady (R 7/19/05)
Tu 3/28: Queen Latifah, Tim Gunn, Richard Ashcroft
We 3/29: Ray Romano, Sue Johanson
Th 3/30: Josh Hartnett, Paget Brewster, the Editors
Fr 3/31: Antonio Banderas, the Little Willies
Mo 4/3: Tom Arnold, Howie Mandel, Motion City Soundtrack (R 8/17/05)
Tu 4/4: She Wants Revenge
We 4/5: Lucy Liu, Jon Lovitz, beer and spirits expert Michael Jackson
Th 4/6: Kris Kristofferson
Fr 4/7: Fiona Apple
Mo 4/10: Anthony Hopkins, Caroline Rhea, Mick Foley (R)
Tu 4/11: Pink
We 4/12: Melissa Cross
Th 4/13: TBA
Fr 4/14: Regina Hall, Daniel Powter

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 3/27: Jordana Brewster, Ying Yang Twins featuring Pitbull, Joe Firstman
Tu 3/28: Big Boi, Morningwood
We 3/29: Orlando Jones, Aqualung
Th 3/30: Andy Milonakis, Nada Surf
Fr 3/31: Bam Margera, Elizabeth Banks, Christian Finnegan, 69 Eyes
Mo 4/3: Rerun TBA
Tu 4/4: Donnie Wahlberg, Robin Thicke
We 4/5: Lukas Haas
Th 4/6: Lucy Liu, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 3/27: Michael Gordon
Tu 3/28: Fareed Zakaria
We 3/29: Queen Latifah
Th 3/30: Sharon Stone
Mo 4/3: Ricky Gervais
Tu 4/4: Studs Terkel
We 4/5: Gen. Tony Zinni
Th 4/6: Josh Hartnett

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 3/27: Sen. Gary Hart
Tu 3/28: Michael Brown
We 3/29: Bruce Bartlett
Th 3/30: Robert Greenwald
Mo 4/3: Michael Smerconish
Tu 4/4: Rev. Jesse Jackson
We 4/5: Harvey Mansfield
Th 4/6: Markos Moulitsas

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 3/27: Kelly Ripa, Tracy Morgan, Air Supply (R 2/27/06)
Tu 3/28: Kathie Lee Gifford, Yehya Mohammed, Augustana (R 2/21/06)
We 3/29: George Lopez, Duane "Dog" Chapman, the Sounds (R 3/21/06)
Th 3/30: Adam Brody, John Cena, Juvenile featuring Galactic (R 3/14/06)
Fr 3/31: Kid Rock, David Alan Grier, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Matt
Hasselbeck (R 1/31/06)

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 3/27: Wilmer Valderrama, "American Inventor" judges Doug Hall and
Mary Lou Quinlan, guest co-host Tisha Campbell-Martin
Tu 3/28: Regis Philbin, Michael and Jodi Schiavo, Ludacris, guest
co-host Tisha Campbell-Martin
We 3/29: Sharon Stone, Rob Estes, Orlando Jones, guest co-host Daisy
Fuentes
Th 3/30: Kate Walsh, James Van Praagh, guest co-host Renie Goldsberry
Fr 3/31: Ray Romano, Tom Caltabiano, law enforcement coordinator Del
Harvey, Pastor Joel Osteen, guest co-host Myrka Dellanos
Mo 4/3: John Corbett
Tu 4/4: Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos, Neil Cavuto
We 4/5: Rascal Flatts, Mo'Nique
Th 4/6: TBA
Fr 4/7: Matt and Amy Roloff

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 3/27: Shakira with Wyclef Jean, Chris Kattan, Larry the Cable Guy,
guest co-host Joy Philbin
Tu 3/28: Ray Romano, Char Margolis
We 3/29: Queen Latifah, Richard Ashcroft, guest co-host Lisa Rinna
Th 3/30: Tori Spelling, Josh Hartnett, the winner of the National
Spelling Bee, guest co-host Wendie Malick
Fr 3/31: George Clooney, Gisele Bundchen, William Shatner, Frankie J.,
the Anhui Acrobats
Mo 4/3: Antonio Banderas, the latest "American Idol" castoff
Tu 4/4: Rebecca Romijn, Jon Voight
We 4/5: Lucy Liu
Th 4/6: Julianna Margulies, Mario Batali
Fr 4/7: Stanley Tucci, guest co-host Randy Jackson

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 3/27: Harrison Ford, Dr. Travis Stork, Faith Hill (R 2/10/06)
Tu 3/28: Keira Knightley, Paul Reiser (R 2/17/06)
We 3/29: Heath Ledger, Sheryl Crow, Sherri Shepherd (R 2/13/06)
Th 3/30: Emma Thompson, Blair Underwood, Heather Headley (R 1/27/06)
Fr 3/31: Queen Latifah, Bonnie Raitt, Gerard Senehi (R 2/8/06)
Mo 4/3: Brendan Fraser, Shakira with Wyclef Jean, Sherri Shepherd
Tu 4/4: John Goodman, Tim McGraw
We 4/5: Kelsey Grammer, LL Cool J
Th 4/6: Sharon Stone, Whoopi Goldberg
Fr 4/7: Jennifer Aniston

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 3/27: Tom Bergeron, Sarah Wayne Callies, Jamie Cullum
Tu 3/28: Wilmer Valderrama, Elizabeth Banks, Nancy Davis
We 3/29: Ray Romano, Audra McDonald, Josh Bernstein
Th 3/30: Susan Lucci, Lacey Chabert, Robert Klein
Fr 3/31: Seth Green, Wendie Malick, Cindy Adams

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 3/20 The President of Syria

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 3/27 More Wifestyles, Part 3
Tu 3/28 Money Hungry
We 3/29 The New Generation of Moochers
Th 3/30 Is This Normal?
Fr 3/31 Love Smart, Part 1

HULK FACTOR. FNC
Mo 3/27 Don't make Hulk mad. Punk humans like to see Hulk mad.
Tu 3/28 War on Christmas make Hulk mad!
We 3/29 You! Intern! where Falafel hulk ordered 20 minues ago?
Th 3/30 Hulk smash!
Fr 3/31 Hulk send Fox News Channel security if you make him mad!

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated (Cake Week!)
Mo 3/27 Aretha Franklin / Dougray Scott / Martha's Cooking School
Tu 3/28 S. Epatha Merkerson / Martha's Cooking School
We 3/29 Jamie-Lynn Sigler / Martha's Cooking School
Th 3/30 Lisa Rinna / Martha's Cooking School
Fr 3/31 Orlando Jones & Rob Estes / Martha's Cooking School

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 3/27 The Number One Killer of Women Revealed (Original air date
October 19, 2005)
Tu 3/28 Sarah Jessica Parker, Orlando Bloom and Matthew Fox Reveal
Their Favorite Places (Original air date October 5, 2005)
We 3/29 The 17-Year-Old Meth Addict: Did She Quit? (Original air date
November 28, 2005)
Th 3/30 Oprah's 20th Anniversary Follow-Up Show (Original air date
November 22, 2005)
Fr 3/31 Oprah's Pros Reveal Their Secrets (Original air date November
4, 2005)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/26 Scarlett Johansson / Death Cab for Cutie

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 3/27 Noon Andy Roddick / Dave Matthews with Trey Anastasio
11 PM Sarah Michelle Gellar / Backstreet Boys
3 AM Lindsay Lohan / Coldplay
Tu 3/28 Noon James Van Der Beek / Everlast
11 PM Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera
3 AM Andy Roddick / Dave Matthews with Trey Anastasio
We 3/29 Noon Madonna / Simple Minds
11 PM Conan O'Brien / Don Henley
3 AM Lara Flynn Boyle / Bon Jovi
Th 3/30 Noon Drew Barrymore / Garbage
11 PM Jackie Chan / Kid Rock
3 AM Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson
Fr 3/31 Noon Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
11 PM Brendan Fraser / Busta Rhymes with The Roots
3 AM Jude Law / Ashlee Simpson

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 3/20 Tavis talks with veteran New York Times correspondent John
Burns and Steve Harris, star of the NBC's new series, "Heist."
Tu 3/21 Tavis talks with S� TV co-founder and chair Jeff Valdez and
actress Doris Roberts.
We 3/22 Tavis talks with singer-songwriter Beth Orton, who also
performs a song from her new CD, Comfort of Strangers.
Th 3/23 Tavis talks with personal finance expert Jane Bryant Quinn and
"V for Vendetta" producer Joel Silver.
Fr 3/24 Tavis talks with Washington Post journalist Jackie Spinner and
actor Andre Braugher, star of the new FX drama, "Thief"

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 3/27 T.I. / Wilmer Valderama / Jamie Foxx video
Tu 3/28 Orlando Jones / Morningwood video
We 3/29-Fr 3/31 No broadcasts

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 3/27 Do It For Less
Tu 3/28 Shocking Secrets of `America's Next Top Model'"
We 3/29 Caught in the Act / Dr. Drew Pinsky
Th 3/30 I Can Do That / Nick Cannon
Fr 3/31 Queen Latifah

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
March 20, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

NO. 1 WITH A BULLET
While other reality shows are dying, "Idol" is flying. Here's my
theory.
http://snipurl.com/nvo4

HAIL TO THE SCHIEFF
Old Media is made new again.
http://snipurl.com/nvn3

FCC: THE DEFINITIVE TIRADE
Barnhart's best rant yet -- well, at least the loudest -- as the
FCC issues its latest indecency outrage.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/fcc_the_definit.html
Related link:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/memo_to_kevin_m.html

COMING UP NEXT: IS YOUR COFFEE BREAK TOO LONG?
The corporate efficiency idiots are out with another report about
so-called lost productivity and the NCAA hoops tournament.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/kansas_city_sta.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

March 20 : in 1987, daytime soap "Capitol" ends a modest five year run
on CBS with a very subtle metaphor: a middle Eastern Baracqui firing
squad taking aim at reporter Sloan Denning (Deborah Mullowney).
Executive Producer John Conboy was told his series had been canceled
during the show's annual Christmas party and that only 50 more
broadcasts were necessary.

March 21 : in 1994, "Thunder In Paradise" answers the burning
question: "what if The A-Team had a boat instead of a van?" Featuring
the "acting" talents of Hulk "please-call-me-Terry" Hogan, Carol Alt,
Chris Lemmon, a 45-foot speedboat named "Thunder," and occasionally
Patrick Macnee, the show lasts a single season.

March 22 : in 1964, as if Fellini films weren't enough of a nightmare
for America, Mae West gives "Mister Ed" a bubble bath.

March 23 : in 1991, "Clarissa Explains It All" makes its debut on
Nickelodeon with Melissa Joan Hart mad at her TV brother. As "Revenge"
for showing her undergarments at school, she hopes to have him put in
a straight jacket and lifted up into the heavens by helium balloons.

March 24 : in 1979, How can CBS go wrong with a TV series based on
"The Bad News Bears" film trilogy? Especially with a stellar cast that
includes Jack Warden, Catherine Hicks, Corey Feldman and Meeno Peluce.
Hmmmm.

March 25 : in 1989, how can FOX go wrong with a TV series based on the
1983 movie version of S.E. Hinton's "The Outsiders?" Especially with a
stellar cast that includes David Arquette and Billy Bob Thornton? Hmmmm.

March 26 : in 1990, just as Oprah Winfrey is reaching the heights as
one of the richest women in the television industry, NBC hopes to
clone her success with a half hour show single topic show with its own
sassy black star: "Night Court" bailiff "Marsha Warfield." But they
might have had just luck if they'd asked costar Richard Moll. Her talk
sojourn is adjourned almost exactly nine months later.


***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 3/20: Denzel Washington, Diablo Cody
Tu 3/21: Marcia Cross, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
We 3/22: David Spade, Teddy Geiger
Th 3/23: Diddy, Train (R 2/3/06)
Fr 3/24: Jimmie Johnson, Andy Dick (R 2/20/06)

Mo 3/27: Sharon Stone
Tu 3/28: Ray Romano, Willie Nelson
We 3/29: Josh Hartnett, Chris Elliott, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Th 3/30: Antonio Banderas, the Flaming Lips

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 3/20: Ellen DeGeneres, 5-year-old trumpet player Geoffrey Gallante,
Yellowcard (R 2/7/06)
Tu 3/21: Steve Carell, Maria Lark, Anthony Hamilton (R 1/11/06)
We 3/22: Terry Bradshaw, Marian Morris & Boo Boo, Russell Crowe & The
Ordinary Fear of God (R 3/10/06)
Th 3/23: Jennifer Lopez, James Carville, Ladysmith Black Mambazo with
Sarah McLachlan (R 1/23/06)
Fr 3/24: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Larry the Cable Guy, Neko Case (R 3/9/06)

Mo 3/27: Lucy Liu, John Leguizamo, Ne-Yo
Tu 3/28: Billy Crystal, Dame Edna, Augustana
We 3/29: Rob Schneider, the Strokes
Th 3/30: Rascal Flatts
Fr 3/31: Rebecca Romijn, Chop, Beth Orton

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 3/20: Stockard Channing, Big & Rich
Tu 3/21: Howie Mandel, Rosanne Cash
We 3/22: Jane Kaczmarek, college basketball analyst Rick Majerus,
David Gray
Th 3/23: Regis Philbin, Tichina Arnold, Fiona Apple (R 2/28/06)
Fr 3/24: Emma Thompson, Steve Byrne (R 2/2/06)

Mo 3/27: The New Cars
Tu 3/28: College basketball analyst Rick Majerus, Tom Fontana
We 3/29: Angela Nissel
Th 3/30: Laila Ali, Train

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 3/20: Ice-T, Erika Christensen, Steve Winwood (R 9/21/05)
Tu 3/21: Rosie O'Donnell, Chris Elliott, Jamie Cullum (R 10/11/05)
We 3/22: Sacha Baron Cohen, Liev Schreiber, Jim Gaffigan (R 9/15/05)
Th 3/23: Heath Ledger, Jim Cramer, Gregg Rogell (R 8/19/05)
Fr 3/24: Jon Heder, Jessica Biel, Nada Surf (R 10/7/05)

Mo 3/27: Billy Bob Thornton, Patton Oswalt, the Hold Steady (R 7/19/05)
Tu 3/28: Queen Latifah
We 3/29: Ray Romano, Sue Johanson, Beastie Boys
Th 3/30: TBA
Fr 3/31: Antonio Banderas

Mo 4/3: Tom Arnold, Howie Mandel, Motion City Soundtrack (R 8/17/05)
Tu 4/4: She Wants Revenge
We 4/5: Lucy Liu, beer and spirits expert Michael Jackson
Th 4/6: Kris Kristofferson
Fr 4/7: Josh Hartnett, Fiona Apple

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 3/20: Chris Masterson, Imogen Heap, Joe Firstman (R 1/31/06)
Tu 3/21: Simon Baker, Imogen Heap (R 2/1/06)
We 3/22: Kevin Nealon, P.O.D., Joe Firstman (R 2/2/06)
Th 3/23: Keyshawn Johnson, Matchbook Romance (R 2/8/06)
Fr 3/24: Carmen Electra, Steven Schirippa, Louis Katz, Fireball
Ministry (R 12/16/05)

Mo 3/27: Rerun TBA
Tu 3/28: Big Boi, Morningwood
We 3/29: Orlando Jones, Aqualung
Th 3/30: Lukas Haas
Fr 3/31: 69 Eyes

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 3/20: Clive Owen
Tu 3/21: Gen. Georges Sada
We 3/22: TBA
Th 3/23: Michael Mandelbaum

Mo 3/27: Michael Gordon
Tu 3/28: TBA
We 3/29: Queen Latifah
Th 3/30: Sharon Stone

Mo 4/3: Ricky Gervais
Tu 4/4: Studs Terkel
We 4/5: Gen. Tony Zinni
Th 4/6: Josh Hartnett

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 3/20: Connie Chung
Tu 3/21: Steve Kroft
We 3/22: Susan Sarandon
Th 3/23: John Kasich

Mo 3/27: Sen. Gary Hart
Tu 3/28: Michael Brown
We 3/29: Bruce Bartlett
Th 3/30: Robert Greenwald

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 3/20: Hulk Hogan, Yunjin Kim, Harold & Darrell Allen
Tu 3/21: George Lopez, Duane "Dog" Chapman, the Sounds
We 3/22: Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Larry the Cable Guy, Gogol Bordello
Th 3/23: Rerun TBA
Fr 3/24: Kiefer Sutherland, Rocco DeLuca

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 3/20: Uma Thurman, John Stossel, guest co-host Myrka Dellanos (R
1/12/06)
Tu 3/21: Kate Beckinsale, Suzanne Wright (R 1/18/06)
We 3/22: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, Norah Vincent
(R 2/17/06)
Th 3/23: Jason Biggs, Paul Walker (R 2/16/06)
Fr 3/24: Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew McConaughey, Kathy Bates, Terry
Bradshaw, doctors from "Miracle Workers" (R 3/10/06)

Mo 3/27: Wilmer Valderrama, fashion with Lloyd Boston
Tu 3/28: Regis Philbin, Michael and Jodi Schiavo, Ludacris
We 3/29: Sharon Stone, Sue Johanson, Rob Estes, Orlando Jones
Th 3/30: Kate Walsh, James Van Praagh
Fr 3/31: Ray Romano, Tom Caltabiano

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 3/20: Wentworth Miller, Chris Brown, Clive Owen, guest co-host Joy
Philbin
Tu 3/21: Michael Chiklis, Denzel Washington, guest co-host Joy Philbin
We 3/22: Dominic Chianese, Kurt Busch
Th 3/23: Frankie Muniz, Cascada
Fr 3/24: Peter Gros and wild animals, Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Mo 3/27: Shakira with Wyclef Jean, Chris Kattan
Tu 3/28: Char Margolis
We 3/29: Queen Latifah
Th 3/30: Tori Spelling, Josh Hartnett, guest co-host Wendie Malick
Fr 3/31: George Clooney, Gisele Bundchen, William Shatner, Frankie J.,
the Anhui Acrobats

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 3/20: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, John Edward, Coby Brown
Tu 3/21: Freddie Prinze Jr., Chris Noth, Kristi Yamaoka
We 3/22: Vin Diesel, Howie Mandel
Th 3/23: Morgan Freeman, George Lopez, Natasha Bedingfield
Fr 3/24: Liza Minnelli, Orlando Jones

Mo 3/27: Harrison Ford, Dr. Travis Stork, Faith Hill (R 2/10/06)
Tu 3/28: Keira Knightley, Paul Reiser (R 2/17/06)
We 3/29: Heath Ledger, Sheryl Crow, Sherri Shepherd (R 2/13/06)
Th 3/30: Emma Thompson, Blair Underwood, Heather Headley (R 1/27/06)

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 3/20: Amanda Bynes, Frank Vincent, Lindsey Williams
Tu 3/21: Henry Winkler, Chris Carmack, John Pizzarelli
We 3/22: Lauren Holly, Florence Henderson, Dougray Scott
Th 3/23: Michael Rapaport, Andrea Bocelli, Dr. Gadget
Fr 3/24: Doris Roberts, Wade Williams, James Boyce

BONES, Fox
Mo 3/20 Occipital bone, Mandible, and Inferior nasal conchae
Tu 3/21 Humerus, Triquetrum, and Trapezium
We 3/22 Metacarpal, Ossa coxa, and Greater trochanter of femur
Th 3/23 Calcaneus, Talus, and Cuboidal
Fr 3/24 Ilium, Ischium, and Pubis

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 3/20 MARKING THREE YEARS IN IRAQ WITH:
FOUAD AJAMI, Johns Hopkins University
JESSICA TUCHMAN MATHEWS, President, Carnegie Endowment for
International Peace
LESLIE GELB, President Emeritus, Council on Foreign Relations
FRANCIS FUKUYAMA, Author, "America at the Crossroads: Democracy,
Power, and the Neoconservative Legacy"
GEORGE PACKER, Author, "The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq"

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 3/20 I'm a Slave to My Spouse
Tu 3/21 More Annoying People
We 3/22 Living on the Edge
Th 3/23 Nasty Custody Battles
Fr 3/24 Moms and Money Conflicts

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated (Cake Week!)
Mo 3/20 Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman / Spring daffodil flower basket
/ chef Daniel Boulud / How to Braise
Tu 3/21 Lauren Holly / / Florence Henderson / How to Poach / gardener
Ken Selody
We 3/22 Doris Roberts Orchid Show / Rocco DiSpirito / How to Butterfly
Th 3/23 Cameron Mathison / How to make Meatballs / chef Sal
Scognamillo / felt on a hanger
Fr 3/24 Academy award-winner Sir Ben Kingsley / Josh Turner / Sarah
Carey / How to Cook in Parchment / Pillsbury Bakeoff recipe

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 3/20 Oprah's Special Report: Inside the Lives of America's Poor
(R-11/12/05)
Tu 3/21 Anti-Aging Breakthroughs (R-5/17/05)
We 3/22 A Father Faces the Teen Who Killed His Family (R-11/18/05)
Th 3/23 Oprah Goes to Ethiopia (R-12/1/05)
Fr 3/24 The Debt Diet: Part 4

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Fr 3/24 Jason Alexander / Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) / Reza Aslan/ Time
Magazine's Michael Ware, live from Baghdad

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/25 Steve Martin / Prince (r)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 3/20 Noon & 11 PM Ellen Degeneres / No Doubt
3 AM John Goodman / The Tragically Hip
Tu 3/21 Noon & 11 PM Jennifer Lopez
3 AM Alec Baldwin & Kim Basinger / UB40
We 3/22 Noon & 11 PM Garth Brooks
3 AM Patrick Swayze / Mariah Carey
Th 3/23 Noon & 11 PM David Duchovny / Puff Daddy & Jimmy Page
3 AM Michael Jordan / Public Enemy
Fr 3/24 Noon & 11 PM Dylan McDermott / Foo Fighters
3 AM Catherine O'Hara / R.E.M.

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 3/20 Tavis talks with veteran New York Times correspondent John
Burns and Steve Harris, star of the NBC's new series, "Heist."
Tu 3/21 Tavis talks with S� TV co-founder and chair Jeff Valdez and
actress Doris Roberts.
We 3/22 Tavis talks with singer-songwriter Beth Orton, who also
performs a song from her new CD, Comfort of Strangers.
Th 3/23 Tavis talks with personal finance expert Jane Bryant Quinn and
"V for Vendetta" producer Joel Silver.
Fr 3/24 Tavis talks with Washington Post journalist Jackie Spinner and
actor Andre Braugher, star of the new FX drama, "Thief"

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 3/20 Sean Paul / Cascada / Mary J. Blige
Tu 3/21 Shakira and Wyclef
We 3/22 Academy award winners Three 6 Mafia
Th 3/23 Geiger / Rhianna
Fr 3/24 Seth Green

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 3/13 Omarosa from "The Apprentice"
Tu 3/14 "Married Too Soon?"
We 3/15 "Revealing Your True Self"
Th 3/16 "Blow Out" stylist Jonathan Antin / former "Young and the
Restless" soap star Amy Gibson
Fr 3/17 "Drag Queen Makeovers" with Amanda Lepore

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

-----------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
March 13, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

20 WITH CRAIG
The Craig Ferguson interview to end all Craig Ferguson interviews.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/20_with_craig.html

BADA BING, KA CHING! CHING! CHING!
About those "Sopranos" product placements last night...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/bada_bing_kachi.html

RHYMES WITH "NO DICE"
"Idol" thoughts.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/rhymes_with_no_.html

TODAY'S BEST PERSON IN THE WORRRRRRRRRRLD
Highlights from Brian Lamb's chat with Keith Olbermann.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/brian_lamb_toda.html

GORDON PARKS, RIP
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/gordon_parks_ri.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

March 13 : in 1982, "a police sergeant training
young cops to be the best on the force ... out
on the streets. Excitement! Action! Adventure!
T. J. HOOKER! WILLIAM SHATNER stars. SPECIAL
90-MINUTE PREMIERE!" Oddly, the TV Guide ad for
the premiere fails to include the words ZMED! or
LOCKLEAR! or TOUPEE!

March 14 : in 1994, "Sleepless In Seattle's"
11-year-old "star" Gaby Hoffmann gets her own
sitcom on NBC, for a whole month. "Someone Like
Me" (aka "Blossom Lite") also features Patricia
Heaton ("Everybody Loves Raymond") as Gaby's mom
and Nikki Cox ("Unhappily Ever After") as the
little darling's sister. Producer Bruce Helford
gets Drew Carey a job writing on the show in
preparation for his own comedy series the
following year at ABC.

March 15 : in 1985, the Owens family finds a new
housekeeper named "Mr. Belvedere," and Bob Uecker
proves that he's every bit as funny as he was in
those commercials for Miller Lite beer.

March 16 : in 1980, the nation's 7-year-olds
rejoice as the battle against the Cyclons
continues on Earth in "Galactica 1980." While
the revamped series take place 30 years
later, Lorne Greene's hair remains the same
brilliant shade of white.

March 17 : in 1978, although the character was
previously developed in his own TV-movie, "The
Rockford Files" spins off "Richie Brockelman,
Private Eye." The series "starring" Dennis Dugan
and created by Steven Bochco and Stephen J.
Cannell serves two purposes : (a) to serve as a
five week replacement series for James Garner's
series and (b) to give Dennis Miller a punchline
to describe accordionist Barry Mitchell on
January 24, 1995 at about 8:07 PM ET.

March 18 : in 1981, Barry McGuire's "Eve of
Destruction" is the only thing that
schoolteacher Ralph Hinkley's car stereo can
tune in. Aliens give him a pair of magic
'jammies to help save the world from itself.
Sigh, if only he hadn't lost the instruction
book. "The Greatest American Hero" takes flight
for 45 episodes, only 40 of which are shown on
ABC.

March 19 : in 1981, at the Daytime Emmy Awards,
"All My Children's" Susan Lucci loses for second
time. But hey, not to worry -- she's bound to get
nominated the next year.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 3/13: Howard Stern, Carrie Underwood
Tu 3/14: Natalie Portman, Al Franken
We 3/15: Vin Diesel, Trey Parker & Matt Stone
Th 3/16: Charles Barkley, Catherine Keener, Top Ten with Olympic Gold
Medalist Chad Hedrick (R 2/15/06)
Fr 3/17: Indianapolis Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt, Cheryl Hines, Anna
Nalick (R 1/19/06)

Mo 3/20: Denzel Washington, Teddy Geiger
Tu 3/21: Marcia Cross, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
We 3/22: David Spade

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 3/13: Simon Cowell, Lisa Lampanelli, Goldfrapp
Tu 3/14: Wanda Sykes, Rainn Wilson, the New Cars
We 3/15: Queen Latifah, Carl Reiner, Rob Zombie
Th 3/16: Jodie Foster, Sean Astin, Herb Alpert with Ozomatli
Fr 3/17: Megan Mullally, Kevin Brauch, Busta Rhymes

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 3/13: Samuel L. Jackson, Cokie Roberts, the Lashes (R 2/23/06)
Tu 3/14: William H. Macy, Carl Edwards (R 2/22/06)
We 3/15: Kiefer Sutherland, Amy Adams, Rocco Deluca & the Burden (R
2/16/06)
Th 3/16: William Shatner, Andrea Bocelli, Josh Bernstein (R 2/20/06)
Fr 3/17: Mary Steenburgen, Big & Rich (R 2/6/06)

Mo 3/20: Stockard Channing, Big & Rich
Tu 3/21: Howie Mandel, Rosanne Cash
We 3/22: Jane Kaczmarek, college basketball analyst Rick Majerus,
David Gray

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 3/13: Jake Gyllenhaal, Neil Young (R 11/3/05)
Tu 3/14: Vin Diesel, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, We Are Scientists
We 3/15: Macaulay Culkin, Billy Bragg
Th 3/16: Amanda Peet, Bradley Cooper
Fr 3/17: Lorraine Bracco, Steve Harvey, Jaheim

Mo 3/20: Ice-T, Erika Christensen, Steve Winwood (R 9/21/05)
Tu 3/21: Rosie O'Donnell, Chris Elliott, Jamie Cullum (R 10/11/05)
We 3/22: Sacha Baron Cohen, Liev Schreiber, Jim Gaffigan (R 9/15/05)
Th 3/23: Heath Ledger, Jim Cramer, Gregg Rogell (R 8/19/05)
Fr 3/24: Jon Heder, Jessica Biel, Nada Surf (R 10/7/05)

Mo 3/27: Billy Bob Thornton, Patton Oswalt, the Hold Steady (R 7/19/05)
Tu 3/28: Queen Latifah
We 3/29: Ray Romano, Sue Johanson, Beastie Boys
Th 3/30: TBA
Fr 3/31: Antonio Banderas

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 3/13: Donald Faison, Fort Minor (R 1/25/06)
Tu 3/14: Michelle Rodriguez, Train
We 3/15: Amanda Bynes, Aimee Mann
Th 3/16: Rainn Wilson, the Sounds
Fr 3/17: Michael Rapaport, Jim Gaffigan, Adam Yauch, the 88

Mo 3/20: Rerun TBA
Tu 3/21: Rerun TBA
We 3/22: Rerun TBA
Th 3/23: Rerun TBA
Fr 3/24: Rerun TBA

Mo 3/27: Rerun TBA
Tu 3/28: Big Boi, Morningwood
We 3/29: Orlando Jones, Aqualung
Th 3/30: Lukas Haas
Fr 3/31: 69 Eyes

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 3/13: Eric Burns
Tu 3/14: Bart Ehrman
We 3/15: Natalie Portman
Th 3/16: Vin Diesel

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 3/13: Christopher Buckley
Tu 3/14: Keith Olbermann
We 3/15: Al Franken
Th 3/16: Frank Vincent

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 3/13: Ice Cube, Elantu B. Veovode, Nine Black Alps
Tu 3/14: Adam Brody, WWE champion John Cena, Juvenile featuring Galactic
We 3/15: Randy Jackson, former Attorney General Janet Reno, Hard-Fi
Th 3/16: Rerun TBA
Fr 3/17: Justin Chambers, the Tossers

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 3/13: Jane Seymour, Heloise
Tu 3/14: Macaulay Culkin, Keyshia Cole
We 3/15: Larry Hagman, Barbara Eden, Dr. Michael Baden
Th 3/16: Michael Imperioli, Amanda Bynes, Cindy Adams
Fr 3/17: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the 5 Browns

Mo 3/20: LL Cool J, Alicia Keys, Mehcad Brooks, guest co-host Myrka
Dellanos (R 1/13/06)
Tu 3/21: Kate Beckinsale, Suzanne Wright (R 1/18/06)
We 3/22: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, Norah Vincent
(R 2/17/06)

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 3/13: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Ashley Parker Angel, guest co-host Pat Sajak
Tu 3/14: Carrie Underwood, guest co-host Pat Sajak
We 3/15: Ice-T, guest co-host Pat Sajak
Th 3/16: Vin Diesel, Chris Byrnes reports on the toy fair
Fr 3/17: Celtic Woman

Mo 3/20: Wentworth Miller, Chris Brown
Tu 3/21: Michael Chiklis, Denzel Washington
We 3/22: TBA
Fr 3/24: TBA
Sa 3/25: Peter Gros and wild animals, Jamie-Lynn Sigler

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 3/13: Reese Witherspoon, Terrence Howard, Hazel Smith (R 11/16/05)
Tu 3/14: Charlize Theron, Jeff Daniels (R 10/19/05)
We 3/15: Jennifer Garner, Michael Rapaport, Josh Kelley (R 9/28/05)
Th 3/16: Jerry O'Connell, Fran Drescher (R 9/29/05)
Fr 3/17: James Denton, Constance Marie (R 1/20/06)

Mo 3/20: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, John Edward
Tu 3/21: TBA
We 3/22: Vin Diesel
Th 3/23: Liza Minnelli, Orlando Jones

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 3/13: Bryan Cranston, Jack LaLanne, Judith Light (R 9/27/05)
Tu 3/14: Jo Frost, Gunnar Nelson (R 1/25/06)
We 3/15: Richard Simmons, baby fashions with Wendy Bellissimo, Andrea
Bowen (R 1/5/06)
Th 3/16: Kyle MacLachlan, chef David Burke, Carol Kane (R 1/19/06)
Fr 3/17: Carlos Bernard, Rocco DiSpirito, Lea Thompson (R 1/13/06)

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 3/13 "Cobra II: The Inside Story of the Invasion and Occupation of
Iraq" GEN. BERNARD TRAINOR, Author and MICHAEL GORDON, The New York
Times / Author, CHARLES DUELFER Former Head, Iraq Survey Group

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 3/13 Infidelity Aftermath
Tu 3/14 Overprotective Moms
We 3/15 "You Wouldn't Last a Day!"
Th 3/16 Cheerleader Scandal
Fr 3/17 Kids Ask Dr. Phil

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated (Cake Week!)
Mo 3/13 Martha's Cooking School / Everyday Food star John Barricelli /
Paul Sorvino
Tu 3/14 Wynonna / How to Marinate
We 3/15 Kelly Preston / Chris Botti / How to Roast Chicken / Katie Lee
Joel
Th 3/16 Jennie Garth / Digging for the Truth's Josh Bernstein / How to Fry
Fr 3/17 Jane Seymour / How to Prepare Eggs 101 /Marc Marrone

GREAT THINGS ABOUT SOUTH DAKOTA, Travel
Mo 3/6 Mount Rushmore
Tu 3/7
We 3/8
Th 3/9
Fr 3/10

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/18 Alec Baldwin / Shakira (r)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 3/13 Noon Britney Spears
11 PM Janet Jackson
3 AM Roseanne & Tom Arnold / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Tu 3/14 Noon Drew Barrymore / Macy Gray
11 PM Queen Latifah / Ms. Dynamite
3 AM Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen
We 3/15 Noon Kelly Ripa / OutKast
11 PM Matthew Perry / Oasis
3 AM Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band
Th 3/16 Noon Brittany Murphy / Nelly
11 PM Tobey Maguire / Sisqo
3 AM Christina Ricci / Beck
Fr 3/17 Noon Kate Winslet / Eminem
11 PM Kate Hudson / Radiohead
3 AM Kirstie Alley / Lenny Kravitz

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Fr 3/17 Richard Belzer, Torie Clark Lou Dobbs, Iliana Ross-Tehtinen
(R-Florida)

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 3/13 Robin Strasser ("One Life to Live") talks about her "One Life,
Many Voices" campaign. Plus, Darcy-Rose Byrnes (The Young and the
Restless") drops by. Also, Upcoming Fashion Trends on "All My
Children" with AMC fashion designer David Zyla. Nancy Lee Grahn
("General Hospital") guest hosts with Ty.
Tu 3/14 Rebecca Herbst ("General Hospital"), special guest host
Hillary B. Smith ("One Life to Live") and Ty get into the St.
Patrick's Day spirit. Plus, Stephanie Sloan celebrates 30 years of
Soap Opera Digest. Also, Go Green St. Patrick's Day Party with Nelson
Aspen.
We 3/15 Jess Walton ("The Young and the Restless") and Richard
Steinmetz ("Passions") visit Ty and guest co-host Hilary B. Smith
("One Life to Live"). Plus, Soap Star Hair with Kim Vo.
Th 3/16 Guests include Alicia Leigh Willis ("General Hospital"), Kate
Linder ("The Young and the Restless") and The Harlem Globetrotters.
Plus, Go to the Source at Passions: Fans get their "Passions"
questions answered by the Makeup, Hair, Wardrobe and Music departments.
Fr 3/17 Frank Dicopoulos ("Guiding Light"), and Joyce and Uchenna
("The Amazing Race") visit. Plus, How to Stay in Style with Out of
Season Bargains with "Life & Style's" Dawn Yanke. Also, Gigi Levangie
Grazer (author of "The Starter Wife" and wife of producer Brian
Grazer) drops by to give the inside dish on Hollywood's desperate
housewives.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 3/13 Fall Out Boy / Aly & AJ
Tu 3/14 Natalie Portman / 8th & Ocean / Ashley Parker Angel
We 3/15 James Blunt / the Hulk / Amanda Bynes
Th 3/16 Natasha Bedingfield

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 3/13 Omarosa from "The Apprentice"
Tu 3/14 "Married Too Soon?"
We 3/15 "Revealing Your True Self"
Th 3/16 "Blow Out" stylist Jonathan Antin / former "Young and the
Restless" soap star Amy Gibson
Fr 3/17 "Drag Queen Makeovers" with Amanda Lepore

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

Oops, forgot some of them:

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 3/6: Emma Thompson, Frank Caliendo, Beth Orton (R 1/24/06)
Tu 3/7: Stupid Human Tricks, Rachel Weisz, Beastie Boys (R 2/8/06)
We 3/8: Beyonce Knowles, Stephen A. Smith (R 2/7/06)
Th 3/9: Ben Roethlisberger, Harrison Ford (R 2/6/06)
Fr 3/10: Hannah Teter, Jimmy Fallon, She Wants Revenge (R 2/16/06)

Mo 3/13: Vin Diesel, Carrie Underwood
Tu 3/14: Natalie Portman, Al Franken
We 3/15: Michael Imperioli, Trey Parker & Matt Stone

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 3/6: Matthew McConaughey, Roger Ebert & Richard Roeper, Train
Tu 3/7: Kristin Davis, Ang Lee, Kris Kristofferson
We 3/8: Tim Allen, Michelle Rodriguez, Bon Jovi
Th 3/9: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Larry the Cable Guy, Neko Case
Fr 3/10: Terry Bradshaw, Marian Morris & Boo Boo, Russell Crowe & The
Ordinary Fear of God

Mo 3/13: Simon Cowell, Lisa Lampanelli, Goldfrapp
Tu 3/14: Wanda Sykes, Rainn Wilson, the New Cars
We 3/15: Queen Latifah, Carl Reiner, Rob Zombie
Th 3/16: Jodie Foster, Herb Alpert with Ozomatli
Fr 3/17: Megan Mullally, Kevin Brauch

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 3/6: Jim Belushi, James Blake, Ben Lee
Tu 3/7: Tyra Banks, Jackie Collins, Lego demonstration by Nathan Sawaya
We 3/8: John Laroquette, Ethan Suplee, Fiona Apple
Th 3/9: Wynonna, Big & Rich, Emilie de Ravin
Fr 3/10: John Larroquette, Cowboy Troy

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 3/6: Johnny Knoxville, John O'Hurley, Dressy Bessy (R 8/4/05)
Tu 3/7: Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelly, Matisyahu
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, Kristin Davis, James Hunter
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Triple H, Street Drum Corps
Fr 3/10: Conan O'Brien Visits Finland

Mo 3/13: Tom Arnold, Howie Mandel, Motion City Soundtrack (R 8/17/05)
Tu 3/14: Vin Diesel, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, We Are Scientists
We 3/15: Macaulay Culkin, Billy Bragg
Th 3/16: Amanda Peet
Fr 3/17: Steve Harvey

Mo 3/20: Ice-T, Erika Christensen, Steve Winwood (R 9/21/05)
Tu 3/21: Rosie O'Donnell, Chris Elliott, Jamie Cullum (R 10/11/05)
We 3/22: Sacha Baron Cohen, Liev Schreiber, Jim Gaffigan (R 9/15/05)
Th 3/23: Heath Ledger, Jim Cramer, Gregg Rogell (R 8/19/05)
Fr 3/24: Jon Heder, Jessica Biel, Nada Surf (R 10/7/05)

Mo 3/27: Billy Bob Thornton, Patton Oswalt, the Hold Steady (R 7/19/05)

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 3/6: Mekhi Phifer, Natasha Bedingfield (R 1/19/06)
Tu 3/7: David Boreanaz, Joshua Radin
We 3/8: Aisha Tyler, Big City Rock
Th 3/9: Flavor Flav, The Academy Is...
Fr 3/10: Zooey Deschanel, Samaire Armstrong, the Eco Station Animals,
Jack's Mannequin

Mo 3/13: Rerun TBA
Tu 3/14: Train
We 3/15: Amanda Bynes, Aimee Mann
Th 3/16: Rainn Wilson, the Sounds
Fr 3/17: Michael Rapaport, Jim Gaffigan, Adam Yauch

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 3/6: Ed Harris (R 2/16/06)
Tu 3/7: Eugene Linden
We 3/8: Neil Young
Th 3/9: Bruce Bartlett

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 3/6: Bob Schieffer
Tu 3/7: Norman Ornstein
We 3/8: James Webb
Th 3/9: Lorraine Bracco

Mo 3/13: Christopher Buckley
Tu 3/14: Keith Olbermann
We 3/15: Al Franken
Th 3/16: Frank Vincent

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 3/6: Zooey Deschanel, Dave Sheridan, Panic! At the Disco
Tu 3/7: Amanda Bynes, Fred Goss, Jamie Cullum
We 3/8: Michael Rapaport, Elisha Cuthbert, Matisyahu
Th 3/9: Rerun TBA
Fr 3/10: John Lydon, Jim Gaffigan

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 3/6: Donald and Ivanka Trump, Mario Cantone, Jillian Michaels
Tu 3/7: Doris Roberts, "Project Runway" finalists, Danielle Steel
We 3/8: Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, Ginnifer
Goodwin, Frank Vincent
Th 3/9: Lorraine Bracco, Dr. Donnica Moore, Sharon Lawrence
Fr 3/10: Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew McConaughey, Kathy Bates, Terry
Bradshaw, doctors from "Miracle Workers"

Mo 3/13: TBA
Tu 3/14: Macaulay Culkin
We 3/15: Larry Hagman, Barbara Eden
Th 3/16: Amanda Bynes, Cindy Adams

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 3/6: "Skating With Celebrities" winners Kristy Swanson & Lloyd
Eisler, Bill Paxton, Claudia Cohen
Tu 3/7: Dennis Haysbert, "Supernanny" Jo Frost, Ne-Yo
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, Gretchen Wilson
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Bradley Cooper
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis, Idina Menzel

Mo 3/13: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, guest co-host Pat Sajak
Tu 3/14: Carrie Underwood, guest co-host Pat Sajak
We 3/15: Guest co-host Pat Sajak
Th 3/16: Vin Diesel, Chris Byrnes reports on the toy fair
Fr 3/17: Celtic Woman

Mo 3/20: Wentworth Miller, Chris Brown
Tu 3/21: Michael Chiklis, Denzel Washington
We 3/22: TBA
Fr 3/24: TBA
Sa 3/25: Peter Gros and wild animals, Jamie-Lynn Sigler

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 3/6: James Spader, Jennifer Finnigan, Jamie Oliver
Tu 3/7: Martin Short, Emilie de Ravin, body language expert Carolyn Finch
We 3/8: Robert Downey Jr., Amanda Bynes, K.T. Tunstall
Th 3/9: Tim Allen, Floetry, chewing gum sculptor Chris Antes
Fr 3/10: Donald Trump, Michelle Rodriguez, Train

Mo 3/13: Charlize Theron, Jeff Daniels
Tu 3/14: Jennifer Garner, Michael Rapaport, Josh Kelley
We 3/15: Jerry O'Connell, Fran Drescher
Th 3/16: Bonnie Hunt, Naveen Andrews, Nick Lazzarini & Melody
Lacayanga from "So You Think You Can Dance"
Fr 3/17: James Denton, Constance Marie

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 3/6: Fran Drescher, Maria Bello, Tom Bergeron (R 9/30/05)
Tu 3/7: Sean Astin, the Ten Tenors, Catherine Hicks (R 1/30/06)
We 3/8: Chazz Palminteri, Mike Ditka, Jorge Cruise, Miss America
Jennifer Berry (R 1/24/06)
Th 3/9: Liza Minnelli, Sal Scognamillo, Roger Cross (R 2/2/06)
Fr 3/10: Star Jones, John Daly, Austin Nichols (R 1/11/06)

Mo 3/13: Bryan Cranston, Jack LaLanne, Judith Light (R 9/27/05)
Tu 3/14: Jo Frost, Gunnar Nelson (R 1/25/06)
We 3/15: Richard Simmons, baby fashions with Wendy Bellissimo, Andrea
Bowen (R 1/5/06)
Th 3/16: Kyle MacLachlan, chef David Burke, Carol Kane (R 1/19/06)
Fr 3/17: Carlos Bernard, Rocco DiSpirito, Lea Thompson (R 1/13/06)

-----------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
March 7, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


CRASH - THE SOUND OF JON STEWART'S OSCAR CAREER
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/03/crash_the_sound.html

BITTORRENT THIS STORY. I DARE YOU.
Mr. Barnhart weighs in on why the writers' guild flap over video iPod
royalties is a portent of things to come.
http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2006/03/01/PM200603013.html

NEXT WEEK, LEON WIESELTIER READS ROLLING STONE LYRICS ALOUD
The New Republic's TV critic goes all crotchety on Jon Stewart.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/in_next_weeks_i.html

ALSO...
News about "Commander in Chief," "The West Wing" and that violent, violent
kids TV, and much more at
http://tvbarn.com

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

March 6: in 1979, Karen Wolek's testimony dramatically ends the Marco
Dane murder trial on "One Life to Live." Under cross examination from
the District Attorney, Wolek blurts out her secret: "How much more do
you want, Mr. Callison? Haven't I said what everyone wants to hear?
What you want everyone to hear? That I am a common hooker like Katrina
Karr? That Marco Dane was my pimp? Is that what you want me to say?"
Well, yeah, it is. And that the real murderer is Talbot Huddleston
(one of Karen's clients). Years later, it's revealed that Marco's
identical brother Mario was the actual victim. That's life in the
soaps! Judith Light wins an Emmy for her breakthrough breakdown
performance as Wolek, a role she took over from fellow future sitcom
star Julia Duffy.

March 7: in 1989, Jamie Lee Curtis has a new creep going after her,
but it's just Goth goof Richard Lewis. And at least in the beginning
of their series, their relationship is "Anything but Love."

March 8: in 1996, "If you're a human being, take a break from the
race. Take a load off your feet, wipe the nose off your face. Got a
lot to do and we do it for you. Everybody take your place," because
it's a whole new Muppet show on ABC -- "Muppets Tonight." Kermit is
still surrounded by madness backstage, while the Arsenio-like Clifford
the crawfish -- "your Homie made of Foamie" -- hosts the titular talk
show. On the debut episode, both Miss Piggy and Michelle Pfeiffer have
been booked as the show's Very Special Guest Star. This leads to
Dueling Maria Von Trapps, while three Elvi witness the signing of the
Declaration of Independence on "Great Moments in Elvis History." Yes,
Jim Henson is very much dead.

March 9 : in 1994, with a similar fascination for race cars, cheesy
graphic-filled editing wipes, mop-topped kids and even a few B-level
cast members borrowed from their hit show, you'd think that the
producers of "Home Improvement" would be able to clone their success
with "Thunder Alley." But alas, it fails to catch on even with Ed
Asner as the grandfather of chubby-cheeked 5 year-old Haley Joel
Osment. As unlikely as it may have seemed, it looks like people were
actually tuning in to "Home Improvement" to watch (gasp) Tim Allen.

March 10: in 1980, there'll be hell toupee as NBC's "Today Show"
welcomes new wacky weather watcher (and former Ronald McDonald)
Willard Scott, whose arrival finally gives 99-year-old-women something
to live for.

March 11: in 1998, "Ellen's" coming out of her timeslot as ABC decides
to try out a new show about "An Architect And A Med Student Trying to
Pay For Grad School By Working At Beacon Street Pizza, And The
Spokeswoman For A Chemical Company Who Hangs Out With Them Even Though
they're Not Too Bright." Fortunately, the network shortens the title
to "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place." Among the cast, by the time
the series ends, are future "Monk" sidekick Traylor Howard,
Maxim/Stuff/FHM cover babe Tiffany Amber Thiessen, and insanely
popular low-rent movie star comedy Ryan Reynolds.

March 12: in 1987, the normally self-assured Alex P. Keaton questions
his own existence in "'A' My Name Is Alex," a truly Very Special
Episode of "Family Ties." Having passed on a joy ride with friends
"because it wasn't convenient," Alex is now guilt-ridden when the trip
results in a fatal car crash for his childhood pal Greg. After being
confronted by his friend's ghost, he finally seeks help from an unseen
therapist and comes to terms with "his selfishness." The performance
will help earn Michael J. Fox his third consecutive Emmy for
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, and the episode also wins
Gary Unger and series creator Gary David Goldberg a pair of Emmys for
Outstanding Writing.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)



DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 3/6 Love, Lies and the Law
Tu 3/7 Extreme Highs and Lows
We 3/8 Stalking the Stars
Th 3/9 Family Chaos
Fr 3/10 Follow-ups

ISAAC, Style
Mo 3/6 Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Bobbi Brown, and chef Mario Batali.
Tu 3/7 Gabrielle Union, Broadway star Michael Cerveris, and chef David
Burke from davidburke&donatella.
We 3/8 S. Epatha Merkeson, N'Sync's JC Chasez, and urban fashions with
Betty Cortina from Latina magazine.
Th 3/9 Isaac chats with Sex and the City's Sarah Jessica Parker.
Later, "Things We Love" with House and Garden Magazine.
Fr 3/10 Gina Gershon, Curb Your Enthusiasm's Susie Essman, and new
uses for everyday items with Kristin Van Ogsrop from Real Simple magazine.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated (Cake Week!)
Mo 3/6 Rosie O'Donnell / pasta cake / Chocolate Pudding Cake
Tu 3/7 Fran Drescher / The Darkest Chocolate Crepe Cake / Julie
Scardina / Russell Simmons
We 3/8 Bonnie Hunt / Iyengar Yoga studio / The Apprentice: Martha
Stewart winner and runner-up (r)
Th 3/9 Iman / Dave Lieberman (r)
Fr 3/10 Kimberly Williams-Paisley / Suzanne Kantra, of Popular Science
magazine / seeds

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 3/6 Oprah at the Oscars
Tu 3/7 Oprah's Latest Capture: Hiding in Mexico�-Turned In by a Friend
We 3/8 Black Women Dating White Men: It's Something New! / James Blunt!
Th 3/9 Tyson Beckford / Gay for 30 Days (Original air date October 20,
2005)
Friday 3/10 The Debt Diet, Part 3

PEOPLE WHO WON THEIR OSCAR POOLS, E!
Mo 3/6
Tu 3/7
We 3/8
Th 3/9
Fr 3/10

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/11 Matt Dillon / Arctic Monkeys

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 3/6 11 PM Paris Hilton /Keane
3 AM John Malkovich / Billy Joel
Tu 3/7 Noon Paris Hilton /Keane
11 PM Kirsten Dunst / Eminem with Proof
3 AM Paul Reiser / Annie Lennox
We 3/8 Noon & 11 PM Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey / G-Unit
3 AM John Goodman / Jewel
Th 3/9 Noon Al Sharpton / Pink
1 PM Kirsten Dunst / Eminem with Proof
11 PM Al Sharpton / Pink
3 AM Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.
Fr 3/10 Noon & 11 PM Jude Law / Ashlee Simpson
3 AM Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 3/6 - Fr 3/10 TBA
Mo 3/13 Robin Strasser ("One Life to Live") talks about her "One Life,
Many Voices" campaign. Plus, Darcy-Rose Byrnes (The Young and the
Restless") drops by. Also, Upcoming Fashion Trends on "All My
Children" with AMC fashion designer David Zyla. Nancy Lee Grahn
("General Hospital") guest hosts with Ty.
Tu 3/14 Rebecca Herbst ("General Hospital"), special guest host
Hillary B. Smith ("One Life to Live") and Ty get into the St.
Patrick's Day spirit. Plus, Stephanie Sloan celebrates 30 years of
Soap Opera Digest. Also, Go Green St. Patrick's Day Party with Nelson
Aspen.
We 3/15 Jess Walton ("The Young and the Restless") and Richard
Steinmetz ("Passions") visit Ty and guest co-host Hilary B. Smith
("One Life to Live"). Plus, Soap Star Hair with Kim Vo.
Th 3/16 Guests include Alicia Leigh Willis ("General Hospital"), Kate
Linder ("The Young and the Restless") and The Harlem Globetrotters.
Plus, Go to the Source at Passions: Fans get their "Passions"
questions answered by the Makeup, Hair, Wardrobe and Music departments.
Fr 3/17 Frank Dicopoulos ("Guiding Light"), and Joyce and Uchenna
("The Amazing Race") visit. Plus, How to Stay in Style with Out of
Season Bargains with "Life & Style's" Dawn Yanke. Also, Gigi Levangie
Grazer (author of "The Starter Wife" and wife of producer Brian
Grazer) drops by to give the inside dish on Hollywood's desperate
housewives.

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 3/6 Former U.N. weapons inspector Scott Ritter, author of the new
book Iraq Confidential
Tu 3/7 Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher and New Orleans
filmmaker Royce Osborn
We 3/8 Sharon Lawrence, star of Lifetime's television movie Augusta, Gone
Th 3/9 James Caan, star of the NBC hit series Las Vegas
Fr 3/10 Altovise Davis, widow of legendary entertainer Sammy Davis, Jr.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 3/6 The All-American Rejects want to rule the countdown, but is the
competition ready to 'Move Along'?
Tu 3/7 Co-host Raven runs the show--and we premiere Kelly Clarkson's
new 'Walk Away'
We 3/8 Um, is it hot in here? Must be the sizzling combo of Matthew
McCounaghey and Nelly!
Th 3/9 Juvenile gives us a Reality Check--and we premiere Shakira's
sexy new 'Lie' detector

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 3/6 "Top Model" contestant Lluvy / Lisa Loeb / Tyra works at Hot
Dog On A Stick
Tu 3/7 "Simplify Your Life"
We 3/8 Lil' Kim / FX's "Black-White" / "America's Next Top Model: Cycle 6"
Th 3/9 Racism
Fr 3/10 "America's Next Top Model's" Twiggy, Nigel Barker and Jay
Alexander / Make A Difference Day"

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
February 27, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


THE ONLY THING I'M SICKER OF THAN THE OLYMPICS
Is people talking about how "low" its ratings are.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/the_only_thing_.html

A MATCH MADE IN HELL
Hy Tarnower and Jean Harris -- their unhinged romance is the basis of
a new and uncannily well-timed HBO movie.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/hy_and_jean_a_r.html

MORE LIKE "MY PATCHWORK TV"
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a network out of my hat!
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/more_like_my_pa.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2001 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

February 27: in 1998, when we least expected it, "Candid Camera"
returns to the airwaves on a weekly basis with Peter "Nepotism" Funt
and Suzanne
"still-contractually-obligated-to-CBS-even-though-they-cancelled-my-sitcom"
Somers.

February 28: in 1989, Craig T. Nelson stars as "Coach" Hayden Fox,
head of the Minnesota State University "Screaming Eagles." We've yet
to determine why.

February 29: in 1976, citizens worthy of reward are Touched by... Carl
Reiner? "Good Heavens!" Reiner stars as "Mr. Angel," who each week
grants a mortal one wish for anything except money. God doesn't have
anything except big bills.

March 1: in 1994, as usual, Roseanne is stuffing her face. What's
unusual is that this week it's with Mariel Hemingway.

March 2: in 1978, on a Very Special Episode of "James at 16," our hero
fears that when he lost his virginity on February 9th (as well as the
number "15" in the title of his series), the Swedish exchange student,
Christina Kollberg (played by Kirsten Baker), may have given him
(gasp) VD.

March 3: in 1997, "Daria" Morgendorffer moves away from her former
tormentors "Beavis and Butthead" and into her own MTV series. La la la
la la.

March 4: in 1968, former Jack Paar writer and talent coordinator, Dick
Cavett is given the opportunity to use his immaculate diction and
gargantuan command of the lexicographical arts to make ordinary
housewives scratch their heads in his first talk show, a daytime
broadcast originally titled "This Morning."

March 5: in 1967, Rodney Dangerfield does manage to get some respect
by actually making stone-faced Ed Sullivan laugh in the first of
sixteen career making appearances on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 2/27: Bruce Willis, the Strokes
Tu 2/28: Barbara Walters, Tyler James Williams
We 3/1: Sarah Jessica Parker
Th 3/2: Harry Connick Jr.
Fr 3/3: Ricky Gervais, the Subways

Mo 3/6: Emma Thompson, Frank Caliendo, Beth Orton (R 1/24/06)
Tu 3/7: Stupid Human Tricks, Rachel Weisz, Beastie Boys (R 2/8/06)
We 3/8: Beyonce Knowles, Stephen A. Smith (R 2/7/06)
Th 3/9: Ben Roethlisberger, Harrison Ford (R 2/6/06)
Fr 3/10: Hannah Teter, Jimmy Fallon, She Wants Revenge (R 2/16/06)

Mo 3/13: Vin Diesel, Carrie Underwood

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 2/27: Gen. Colin Powell, "Dancing With The Stars" winner Drew
Lachey, Rosanne Cash
Tu 2/28: Julie Scardina with Sea World animals
We 3/1: Jason Lee, Dwight Yoakam
Th 3/2: Salma Hayek, Rhett Miller
Fr 3/3: Vin Diesel, Jamie Cullum

Mo 3/6: Matthew McConaughey, Roger Ebert & Richard Roeper, Train
Tu 3/7: Kristin Davis, Ang Lee, Kris Kristofferson
We 3/8: Tim Allen, Michelle Rodriguez, Bon Jovi
Th 3/9: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Larry the Cable Guy, Neko Case
Fr 3/10: Terry Bradshaw, Marian Morris & Boo Boo, Russell Crowe & The
Ordinary Fear of God

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 2/27: Terrence Howard, Eric Haney, Jenny Lewis
Tu 2/28: Regis Philbin, Tichina Arnold, D.C. Benny
We 3/1: John Larroquette, Idina Menzel, Big & Rich
Th 3/2: Roseanne, Olympic skier Jeremy Bloom, Wolfgang Puck
Fr 3/3: Milla Jovovich, Peter Travers, the All American Rejects

Mo 3/6: James Blake, Jenny Lewis
Tu 3/7: Tyra Banks, Jackie Collins
We 3/8: Ethan Suplee
Th 3/9: Wynonna
Fr 3/10: Cowboy Troy

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 2/27: Jim Carrey, Isaac Hayes (R 12/20/05)
Tu 2/28: Bruce Willis, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Dropkick Murphys
We 3/1: Gisele Bundchen, Bill Bellamy, Belle & Sebastian
Th 3/2: Jenna Fischer, Dwayne Perkins
Fr 3/3: Alec Baldwin, Fred Goss, the Derek Trucks Band

Mo 3/6: Johnny Knoxville, John O'Hurley, Dressy Bessy (R 8/4/05)
Tu 3/7: Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelly, Matisyahu
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, James Hunter
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Street Drum Corps
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis, Melissa Cross

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 2/27: Joe Rogan, Joe Firstman (R 1/17/06)
Tu 2/28: Alyson Hannigan, Dilated Peoples
We 3/1: Milla Jovovich, Supergrass
Th 3/2: Rosanna Arquette, Ying Yang Twins with Bun B
Fr 3/3: Howie Mandel, Robin Tunney, Mike Birbiglia, Wicked Wisdom

Mo 3/6: Rerun TBA
Tu 3/7: Aisha Tyler, Lil' Wayne
We 3/8: The Academy Is
Th 3/9: TBA
Fr 3/10: Zooey Deschanel

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 2/27: Sarah Vowell (R 2/21/06)
Tu 2/28: Matthew Fox (R 2/22/06)
We 3/1: Roger Ebert (R 2/23/06)
Th 3/2: Julianne Moore (R 2/15/06)

Mo 3/6: Ed Harris (R 2/16/06)
Tu 3/7: Eugene Linden
We 3/8: Neil Young
Th 3/9: Bruce Bartlett

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 2/27: Tony Campolo
Tu 2/28: Brett O'Donnell
We 3/1: Arianna Huffington
Th 3/2: Jeffrey Sachs

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 2/27: Kelly Ripa, Tracy Morgan, Air Supply's Russell Hitchcock and
Graham Russell
Tu 2/28: Stacy Keibler, Three 6 Mafia
We 3/1: Howie Mandel, OK Go
Th 3/2: Rerun TBA

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 2/27: Tim Allen, Mary Lynn Rajskub
Tu 2/28: "Dancing with the Stars" winner Drew Lachey
We 3/1: Joan Rivers, Tyler James Williams
Th 3/2: Alec Baldwin, nutritionist Joy Bauer
Fr 3/3: Bruce Willis

Mo 3/6: Mario Cantone, Jillian Michaels
Tu 3/7: Doris Roberts, "Project Runway" fashion show, Danielle Steel
We 3/8: Frank Vincent
Th 3/9: Lorraine Bracco, Dr. Donnica Moore, Sharon Lawrence
Fr 3/10: Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew McConaughey, Kathy Bates, Terry
Bradshaw

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 2/27: Donald Trump, Ray J, Roger Ebert
Tu 2/28: Eva Longoria, Howie Mandel
We 3/1: Melina Kanakaredes, Jimmy Kimmel, Earth, Wind & Fire, Brian
McKnight
Th 3/2: Anthony LaPaglia, Bo Bice
Fr 3/3: Raven-Symone, behind the scenes with Kobe Bryant and the L.A.
Lakers

Mo 3/6: The winner of "Skating With Celebrities"
Tu 3/7: Ne-Yo
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, Gretchen Wilson
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Peter Gros and wild animals
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/27: Hilary Duff, Steve Harvey
Tu 2/28: Dennis Quaid, Becky Zaheri, Cowboy Mouth
We 3/1: Felicity Huffman, Eddie Cibrian, etiquette adviser Dorothea
Johnson
Th 3/2: Carl Reiner, Rosanne Cash
Fr 3/3: The cast of "Las Vegas", Oscar rehearsal with Jon Stewart

Mo 3/6: TBA
Tu 3/7: Martin Short, Emilie de Ravin
We 3/8: Robert Downey Jr., K.T. Tunstall
Th 3/9: Tim Allen

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/27: Meredith Vieira, Louis Lombardi, Mario Batali
Tu 2/28: Teri Garr, David Morse, Phil Keoghan
We 3/1: Roger Ebert, Cynthia Nixon, "Dancing With The Stars" winner
Drew Lachey
Th 3/2: Paul Sorvino, Grant Show, Donatella Arpaia
Fr 3/3: Gisele Bundchen, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Wolfgang Puck

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo-Fr 2/27-3/3 Charlie wil be airing a week-long series of interviews
from India. Please tune in for a week of conversations with people
shaping the new India, including Prime Minister Manmohan Singh,
National Security Adviser MK Narayanan, business leaders Azim Premji,
Nandan Nilekani, Ratan Tata, Kirin Mazumdar-Shaw, Anil Agarwal, Actor
Shabana Azmi and a panel of Indian journalists.

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 2/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath
Tu 2/28 On the Outs With In-Laws
We 3/1 Cheaters
Th 3/2 "Our Biggest Battle"
Fr 3/3 "Stop Ruining Your Child!"

ISAAC, Style
Mo 2/27 S. Epatha Merkeson, N'Sync's JC Chasez, and urban fashions
with Betty Cortina from Latina magazine.
Tu 2/28 Hope Davis, Finola Hughes, and Isaac shops for cars with
Veronica Webb.
We 3/1 Keira Knightley, Dolly Parton, and "Break-Up Bounceback" ideas
with Dannielle Romano of DailyCandy.com.
Th 3/2 Rob and Amber from Survivor and The Amazing Race, Prison
Break's Sarah Wayne Callies, and how to get a hot Hollywood body with
celebrity trainer Brooke Siler.
Fr 3/3 Gabrielle Union, Broadway star Michael Cerveris, and chef David
Burke from davidburke&donatella.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/27 Megan Mullally / Crafts Editorial Director Hannah Milman /
fashion designer and author Kimora Lee Simmons / Chocolate-covered
Bananas.
Tu 2/28 Olympic figure skater Emily Hughes / Days of Our Lives' Julie
Pinson / Mardis Gras King Cake
We 3/1 Gold Medalist Seth Wescott / Tuna and Cheese Roll Ups / Ocean
in a Bottle.
Th 3/2 The Office's Jenna Fischer / wooden shutters / Suzanne Kantra
of Popular Science
Fr 3/3 Conviction's Stephanie March visits / Francesco Lafranconi's
Best Picture cocktails

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 2/27 Marc Jacobs, Jimmy Choo, Barbie: Meet the Real People Behind
the Big Names Plus, Elmo unveiled!
Tu 2/28 The Best Burger in America Discovered / Rachael Ray / secrets of
Grey's Anatomy
We 3/1 TBA
Th 3/2 TBA
Fr 3/3 TBA

PEOPLE NOT BEING ATTACKED BY BILL O'REILLY, FNC
Mo 2/27
Tu 2/28
We 3/1
Th 3/2
Fr 3/3

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/4 Natalie Portman / Fallout Boy

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 2/27 Noon Robert De Niro / Destiny's Child
11 PM Charlize Theron / Paul Simon
Tu 2/28 Noon Billy Bob Thornton / Creed
11 PM Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
3 AM Hilary Swank / 50 Cent
We 3/1 Noon Helen Hunt / Hanson
11 PM Renee Zellweger / Eve
3 AM Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen
Th 3/2 Noon Cuba Gooding, Jr. / Ricky Martin
11 PM Ben Affleck / Nelly
Fr 3/3 Noon Adrien Brody / Sean Paul, Wayne Wonder
11 PM Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
We 3/1 Farah Fath and Jason Cook discuss their romantic roles on "Days
of our Lives." Plus, Eva Tamargo ("Passions") drops by. Also, Quick &
Easy Ways to Solve Soaps' Stickiest Situations with Joey Green.
Th 3/2 Lisa and Ty celebrate their 500th episode with special guests
Alison Sweeney, Bryan Dattilo ("Days of our Lives") and Jackie Zeman
("General Hospital"). Plus, Wally Kurth ("General Hospital") and his
band perform.
Fr 3/3 Marcia Cross ("Desperate Housewives") and Greg Rikkart ("The
Young and the Restless") drop by. Plus, How to Eat Your Way to a
Healthy Colon with Amy Hendel and Real Women Behind Your Favorite Soap
Men 3.

Mo 3/13 Robin Strasser ("One Life to Live") talks about her "One Life,
Many Voices" campaign. Plus, Darcy-Rose Byrnes (The Young and the
Restless") drops by. Also, Upcoming Fashion Trends on "All My
Children" with AMC fashion designer David Zyla. Nancy Lee Grahn
("General Hospital") guest hosts with Ty.
Tu 3/14 Rebecca Herbst ("General Hospital"), special guest host
Hillary B. Smith ("One Life to Live") and Ty get into the St.
Patrick's Day spirit. Plus, Stephanie Sloan celebrates 30 years of
Soap Opera Digest. Also, Go Green St. Patrick's Day Party with Nelson
Aspen.
We 3/15 Jess Walton ("The Young and the Restless") and Richard
Steinmetz ("Passions") visit Ty and guest co-host Hilary B. Smith
("One Life to Live"). Plus, Soap Star Hair with Kim Vo.
Th 3/16 Guests include Alicia Leigh Willis ("General Hospital"), Kate
Linder ("The Young and the Restless") and The Harlem Globetrotters.
Plus, Go to the Source at Passions: Fans get their "Passions"
questions answered by the Makeup, Hair, Wardrobe and Music departments.
Fr 3/17 Frank Dicopoulos ("Guiding Light"), and Joyce and Uchenna
("The Amazing Race") visit. Plus, How to Stay in Style with Out of
Season Bargains with "Life & Style's" Dawn Yanke. Also, Gigi Levangie
Grazer (author of "The Starter Wife" and wife of producer Brian
Grazer) drops by to give the inside dish on Hollywood's desperate
housewives.

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 2/27 "Crash" roundtable with Don Cheadle, Paul Haggis, Maxine
Waters and Brotherhood Crusade founder & CEO Danny Bakewell (r)
Tu 2/28 Los Angeles Times columnist Dan Neil / Martin Lawrence (r)
We 3/1 Princeton University professor Dr. Kwame Anthony Appiah / Lynn
Redgrave (r)
Th 3/2 Tommy Lee Jones (r)
Fr 3/3 Philip Seymour Hoffman / Rachel Weisz (r)

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 2/27 The Pussycat Dolls
Tu 2/28 Bruce Willis / Ne-Yo
We 3/1 Jonas Brothers / JoJo
Th 3/2 Madonna

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/27 Queen Latifah / LL Cool J
Tu 2/28 Sex Ed 101 with Sue Johanson
We 3/1 Stripper Tyra
Th 3/2 Celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak / "Top Model" winner Yoanna
House
Fr 3/3 John Legend / The Pussycat Dolls / Kelly Rowland

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
February 21, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

PROJECT FUN JAY
Jay McCarroll, the "Project Runway" winner last year, gets his own
hour special on Bravo Wednesday, in which we see him caught in the
ultimate reality-age dilemma: pursue my career or become a TV star?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/designed_for_te.html

A DOG-EAT-DOG HELL
Life inside one of notorious puppy mills, tonight on HBO.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/literally_a_dog.html

GUMBEL ICED
Well, Bryant Gumbel, here's the difference between the Olympics and
the Republican National Convention: At the Olympics, the black guy
comes in first.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/nbcolympicscom_.html

BARELY CONSCIENCE
Why, oh, why do TV shows that have no socially redeeming qualities
insist on making "very special episodes"?
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/13900141.htm

Plus, this reaction from a reader who says I just don't get it:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/you_just_dont_.html

CABLE INDECENCY WARS: BOOK III
In today's edition, the Parents Television Council responds. Plus: Why
not everyone on the religious right is happy with the PTC's Cable
Choice campaign.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/cable_indecency.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS (Happy anniversary to us)
Copyright 2000 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

February 20: in 1999, Gene Siskel, R.I.P.

February 21: in 1997, on "Days of Our Lives," Kristin Blake gives
birth to John Black, Jr., ... except it isn't really Kristin, it's her
pregnant look-alike Susan Banks, and the child's father isn't John
Black ... it's really Stefano DiMera, although Banks believes the
father of her child is really ... Elvis Presley.

February 22: in 1971, Fred Rogers leaves his neighborhood and takes
the trolley to visit his friend on another network, CBS, appearing
this morning with his friend Captain Kangaroo.

February 23: in 1966, Lucille Ball tells CBS her sitcom will
self-destruct if they don't accept a new drama from her Desilu Studio
-- "Mission: Impossible."

February 24: in 1976, a Korean War reporter (Clete Roberts) visits the
4077th "M*A*S*H" unit to conduct "The Interview," based on an Edward
R. Murrow documentary "Christmas in Korea." Each of the cast members
was given a tape recorder to create their character's thoughts and
answers to writer Larry Gelbart's questions, and from these ad-libbed
character sketches the episode was written, accompanied by period
newsreel footage.

February 25: in 1978, "The Simpsons" star on tonight's "Saturday Night
Live." O.J. Simpson hosts, while Nick Ashford and wife Valerie Simpson
serve as musical guests. Not only does the host appear in full
"Conehead" makeup, he also stars as "Mandingo II."

February 26: in 1977, in the only episode of "The Mary Tyler Moore
Show" ever to use dream sequences, Ted, Lou and Murray all wonder what
married life would be like with Ms. Richards. Ed Asner tells TV Guide
he favors having Lou and Mary wed in the series finale.

February 27: in 1979, NBC attempts to revive the old-time movie
serials with "Cliffhangers." Three stories -- each one joined already
in progress -- make up the hour. The evil Anthony Korf tries to "Stop
Susan Williams" (Susan Anton), an 1800s marshall named Jim Donner
(Geoffrey Scott) discovers aliens in the underground "Secret Empire"
of Chimera, and Count Dracula (Michael Nouri), who is "undead and well
and living in California," teaches night school classes in European
history in "The Curse of Dracula."

February 28: in 1966, on "Lost in Space," Dr. Smith is attacked by a
giant talking carrot. Yes, they are running out of ideas. Only one
episode will follow "The Great Vegetable Rebellion," which may or may
not have inspired the 1970s movie, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

February 29: in 1988, NBC takes a "leap" of faith with "Day by Day," a
companion piece to "Family Ties," about a St. Louis couple who quit
their high power jobs to open a day-care center. The series is perhaps
more well known for its supporting characters than its leads --
Julia-Louis Dreyfus is the best friend, Courtney Thorne-Smith as an
employee, Christopher Barnes as the loving son and "American Beauty's"
Thora Birch as one of the day-care kids. Barnes later parlayed his
character's dream of being a member of "The Brady Bunch" into a role
as Greg Brady in both "Brady Bunch" movies.

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 2/20: Andy Dick, Daytona 500 winner Jimmie Johnson
Tu 2/21: Matthew Fox, Brian Regan, Broadway's Jersey Boys
We 2/22: Philip Seymour Hoffman, the Teutul family from "American Chopper"
Th 2/23: Amanda Peet, Jack Hanna, a "Family Guy" Top Ten
Fr 2/24: Hugh Laurie, Ne-Yo

Mo 2/27: Bruce Willis, the Strokes
Tu 2/28: Barbara Walters, Tyler James Williams

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 2/20: Rob Schneider, Alonzo Bodden
Tu 2/21: Dolly Parton
We 2/22: Howie Mandel
Th 2/23: Terrence Howard
Fr 2/24: Tyler Perry

Mo 2/27: Gen. Colin Powell, "Dancing With The Stars" winners, Rosanne Cash
Tu 2/28: Zola
We 3/1: Jason Lee, Jamie Oliver, Dwight Yoakam
Th 3/2: Salma Hayek, Rhett Miller
Fr 3/3: Vin Diesel, Jamie Cullum

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 2/20: William Shatner, Josh Bernstein, Andrea Bocelli
Tu 2/21: Carl Reiner, Nadine Velasquez, Gabriel Iglesias
We 2/22: William H. Macy, Carl Edwards
Th 2/23: Samuel L. Jackson, Cokie Roberts, the Lashes
Fr 2/24: Dolly Parton, Kevin Smith, the Cult

Mo 2/27: Roseanne, military consultant Eric Haney
Tu 2/28: Regis Philbin, Tichina Arnold, Wolfgang Puck
We 3/1: Idina Menzel, Big & Rich

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 2/20: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/21: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/22: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/23: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/27: Jim Carrey, Isaac Hayes (R 12/20/05)
Tu 2/28: Bruce Willis, Dropkick Murphys
We 3/1: Gisele Bundchen, Belle & Sebastian
Th 3/2: TBA
Fr 3/3: Alec Baldwin, the Derek Trucks Band

Mo 3/6: Johnny Knoxville, John O'Hurley, Dressy Bessy (R 8/4/05)
Tu 3/7: Sarah Jessica Parker, Matisyahu
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, James Hunter
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Street Drum Corps
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis, Melissa Cross

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 2/20: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/21: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/22: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/23: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/27: Joe Rogan, Joe Firstman (R 1/17/06)
Tu 2/28: Alyson Hannigan, Dilated Peoples
We 3/1: Supergrass
Th 3/2: TBA
Fr 3/3: Mike Birbiglia, Wicked Wisdom

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 2/20: Harrison Ford (R 2/8/06)
Tu 2/21: Sarah Vowell
We 2/22: Matthew Fox
Th 2/23: Roger Ebert

Mo 2/27: Rerun TBA
Tu 2/28: Rerun TBA
We 3/1: Rerun TBA
Th 3/2: Julianne Moore (R 2/15/06)

Mo 3/6: Ed Harris (R 2/16/06)

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 2/20: Alan Dershowitz (R 2/8/06)
Tu 2/21: Lama Surya Das
We 2/22: Michael Eric Dyson
Th 2/23: David Brooks

Mo 2/27: Tony Campolo
Tu 2/28: Brett O'Donnell
We 3/1: Arianna Huffington
Th 3/2: Jeffrey Sachs

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 2/20: Wilmer Valderrama, Golden Brooks, Dan Naturman, Billy Gibbons
(R 2/8/06)
Tu 2/21: Kathie Lee Gifford, Yehya Mohamed, Augustana
We 2/22: Simon Cowell, Jennifer Esposito, Dilated Peoples
Th 2/23: Cuba Gooding Jr., Mike Birbiglia
Fr 2/24: Paul Walker, Bow Wow with Travis Barker

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 2/20: James Denton, Maurice Benard, the Pussycat Dolls
Tu 2/21: Roseanne, Wolfgang Puck
We 2/22: Jaime Pressly, Jennifer Tilly
Th 2/23: Marg Helgenberger, Penn & Teller, Carrot Top
Fr 2/24: Celine Dion, Thunder From Down Under dancers

Mo 2/27: Tim Allen, Dr. Travis Stork
Tu 2/28: Sean "Diddy" Combs, Juanes
We 3/1: TBA
Th 3/2: Alec Baldwin, nutritionist Joy Bauer
Fr 3/3: Bruce Willis

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 2/20: Cuba Gooding Jr., Santino
Tu 2/21: Hank Azaria, Daytona 500 winner Jimmie Johnson
We 2/22: Matthew Fox, Heidi Klum
Th 2/23: Jimmy Fallon, Tyler Perry
Fr 2/24: Lynn Whitfield, guest co-host Whoopi Goldberg

Mo 2/27: Donald Trump, Ray J, Roger Ebert
Tu 2/28: Eva Longoria, Howie Mandel
We 3/1: Melina Kanakaredes, Jimmy Kimmel, Earth, Wind & Fire, Brian
McKnight
Th 3/2: Anthony LaPaglia, Bo Bice
Fr 3/3: Raven-Symone, behind the scenes with Kobe Bryant and the L.A.
Lakers

Mo 3/6: The winner of "Skating With Celebrities"
Tu 3/7: Ne-Yo
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, Gretchen Wilson
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Peter Gros and wild animals
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/20: Shaun White, Penny Marshall, Alyson Hannigan, Jamie King
Tu 2/21: Simon Cowell, James Blunt, Marc Yu
We 2/22: Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Applegate, Betty White
Th 2/23: Dolly Parton, Rainn Wilson, Stacy Keibler, Tony Dovolani
Fr 2/24: Marcia Cross, Rosie Perez

Mo 2/27: Steve Harvey
Tu 2/28: TBA
We 3/1: Felicity Huffman, etiquette adviser Dorothea Johnson
Th 3/2: Carl Reiner

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/20: Serena Williams, "Dancing With the Stars" castoff Lisa Rinna,
Chef Paolo
Tu 2/21: Jerry Springer, Aiden Turner, Rick Bayless
We 2/22: Naomi Judd, Cal Ripken Jr.
Th 2/23: Patrick Swayze, Dave Lieberman
Fr 2/24: Andrew Firestone, Maria Celeste Arraras

Mo 2/27: Meredith Vieira, Louis Lombardi, Mario Batali
Tu 2/28: Teri Garr, the latest "Dancing With the Stars" castoff, Phil
Keoghan
We 3/1: Roger Ebert, Christina Milian
Th 3/2: Paul Sorvino, Grant Show, Donatella Arpaia
Fr 3/3: Gisele Bundchen, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Wolfgang Puck





DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 2/20 Meet three women who each admit to being a "bitch" and proud
of it! Kristine, Teresa and Lois all say their demanding bitchiness
gets them what they want when they want it. But Dr. Phil challenges
their thinking. Is it really working for them? What is behind their
bitchy bias, and can their lives change for the better with an
attitude adjustment?
Tu 2/21 Dr. Phil revisits the topic of what makes a good wife. Grant
and Kelly first appeared on the show because Grant expected his wife
to live up to his demanding standards. He wanted a cleaner house,
better meals and a sexier spouse. After seven years, his constant
criticism and disappointment had her ready to throw in the towel on
trying to become the "perfect wife." Dr. Phil's first talk with Grant
and Kelly caused quite a stir as thousands of viewers wrote in
choosing sides. How are Grant and Kelly now? Has Grant abandoned his
critical ways and his expectation of having a Stepford wife? And why
is he no longer wearing his wedding ring?
We 2/22 A wedding is supposed to be a time of celebration, but
sometimes, planning for that special day can divide a family. Pat
feels that her son, Steve's, fianc�e is not good enough for him. She
thinks Kim is selfish, narcissistic and trying to turn Steve against
his own family. Pat hopes she can convince her son that he's about to
marry the wrong woman before it's too late. Then, when Rachel and her
mother, Jeanne, last appeared on the show, Jeanne claimed that
Rachel's Bridezilla ways were destroying their relationship. Rachel's
motto was: "It's my wedding day, and the bride is always number one!"
After they left the show, Rachel refused to speak to Jeanne and
demanded an apology. Will this mother and daughter see eye to eye
before Rachel gets on the plane to move away for good? And, what is
the one thing Rachel really needs from her mother?
Th 2/23 Everyone knows someone who's been in a bad breakup. Dr. Phil's
guests say they've got ex-mates from hell! Tracie called off her
wedding over a year ago, but her ex-fianc�, Dan, still won't leave her
alone. He calls every morning to say he loves her, but when he hacked
into her computer and e-mailed a man she was dating, and when he broke
into her house, she filed a restraining order against him. Dan says
Tracie is the love of his life, and thinks they still have a chance to
patch things up. Then, Stacie says her ex-husband, Ted, is making her
life miserable. Since their marriage ended, she says he abandoned her
and their three sons financially. Can she get Ted to step up and pay
child support, or will she and the kids be out on the street?
Fr 2/24 "I got stuck in traffic." "The check is in the mail." "No, you
don't look fat in those jeans." Everyone fibs once in a while, right?
Dr. Phil talks to people who are compulsive liars. Libby says her
brother, Matt, destroyed their family with his conning and stealing.
He ran up a $300 phone bill in his mother, Ellen's, name, stole
Libby's social security number and racked up $6,000 worth of debt.
Matt says he's ready to come clean, but Libby and Ellen say he's told
so many lies, they don't know what to believe anymore. Then, Melinda
feels her 14-year-old daughter, Tricia's, lying is out of control.
Tricia lied about being pregnant, but she's never had sex. She even
told the police her father "beat the crap out" of her, and had him
arrested! Find out what prompts her to make up so many stories.

ISAAC, Style
Mo 2/20 Hope Davis, Finola Hughes, and Isaac shops for cars with
Veronica Webb.
Tu 2/21 Rosie Perez, Lara Spencer (The Insider and Antiques Roadshow),
and shoe psychologist Meghan Cleary.
We 2/22 Rachael Ray, Cyndi Lauper, and flower arrangements with event
designer David Beahm.
Th 2/23 Sela Ward, Jaime Pressly, and ice cream recipes with Grace
Parisi from Food and Wine magazine.
Fr 2/24 Lisa Loeb, actress Judy Greer, and cooking with Rocco DiSpirito.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/20 Martha celebrates Presidents' Day with an all-American dish of
Cherry Pie handmade by America's sweethearts: Jason Biggs (American
Pie) and Paul Walker (The Fast and the Furious), stars of the new
Disney movie Eight Below. Then, 10-year-old presidential-fact whiz,
Noah McCullough, dispels popular myths about past White House
residents. Chef Romy Dorotan of New York City's Cendrillon restaurant
shares his recipe for Chicken Adobo. And, Martha reveals Number 14 of
her 20 Essential Kitchen Tools.
Tu 2/21 Olympic Gold-Medalist Hannah Teter, America's top women's
snowboarder, joins Martha to talk about her experiences at the Games
in Torino, Italy. Then, Roberta Flack sings a medley of classics from
her greatest hits CD, The Very Best of Roberta Flack. And, Zak
Pelaccio from New York City's Fatty Crab restaurant prepares a
Malaysian dish: Oyster Omelette Ashraf. Plus, Martha reveals Number 15
of her 20 Essential Kitchen Tools.
We 2/22 Rising Country music star, Billy Currington, performs his
chart-topping hit, "Must Be Doin' Something Right." Snowboarder Shaun
White (The Flying Tomato) talks about his Olympic Gold Medal. Martha
helps you prepare your garden for spring with a lesson on planting
Begonias. Wai Ming Cheng, noodle chef at New York City's Philippe
restaurant, shows off his skill by performing his Noodle Show;
Philippe Chow, also of Philippe, teaches Martha how to make a
delicious Chinese dish: Green Prawns with Chinese Noodles. Plus,
Martha reveals Number 16 of her 20 Essential Kitchen Tools.
Th 2/23 Daytime Emmy-nominee and star of Guiding Light, Beth Ehlers,
joins Martha to craft. Martha shares video from her trip to Torino,
Italy. Author of Simple Indian Cookery, actress Madhur Jaffrey shares
her recipes for two tasty offerings: Broiled Fish and Green Lentils
with Lemon Slices. Plus, Martha reveals Number 17 of her 20 Essential
Kitchen Tools.
Fr 2/24 Martha welcomes singer/songwriter/actor Donny Osmond to craft
a keepsake frame in honor of his new grandchild. Three young inventors
take the stage to show off their amazing inventions--all made using
common household items. Marcela Valladolid from The Apprentice: Martha
Stewart makes a Mexican family dish, Achiote-Rubbed Pork Baked in
Banana Leaves. And, Martha reveals Number 18 of her 20 Essential
Kitchen Tools.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 2/20 Viewers reveal their all-time favorite moments. Tracey Gold's
heartbreaking mistake
delivers a wake-up call. Then, the mother Oprah will never forget and
how she saved a
woman's life. Plus, the "shoe lady" inspires one of Broadway's biggest
stars and a biker
dad's unlikely confession.
Tu 2/21 Why are Americans still living in such horrible conditions?
Anderson Cooper investigates.
Plus, the report that brought Lisa Ling to tears.
We 2/22 Families who lost everything get just what they deserve�it's
Operation Katrina Homes!
Completely decorated by Nate and furnished top to bottom. It is move
in day on Angel
Lane! You made it happen, now witness the celebration.
Th 2/23 Millions of women live like this and never admit it. One
25-year-old has had sex with nearly
90 men. Then, a pre-med student's double life of one-night-stands and
sex with strangers.
Painful confessions from the secret lives of sex addicts.
Fr 2/24 The Debt Diet�Part 2 Three real families with everything on
the line�hidden cameras capture it all.
Top experts move in and the spending is cut off!
Cheating...setbacks...and one struggle
gets personal. This is no game. The plan is laid out.
Step-by-step...what you can do to get
out of debt.

PEOPLE NOT SHOT BY DICK CHENEY, FNC
Mo 2/13 Charo, Lenny Kravitz
Tu 2/14 David Brenner, Paul Walker
We 2/15 Quentin Tarantino, Jessica Biel
Th 2/16 Julianne Moore, Lewis Taylor
Fr 2/17 Paul Aster, Tom Welling

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/4 Natalie Portman / Fallout Boy

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 2/20 11 PM Britney Spears
Tu 2/21 Noon Jason Priestly / Teenage Fanclub
11 PM Katie Holmes / Dave Matthews Band
We 2/22 Noon Jonny Moseley / OutKast
11 PM Jonny Moseley / OutKast
3 AM Renee Zellweger / Eve
Th 2/23 Noon Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon
11 PM Justin Timberlake
Fr 2/24 Noon Brendan Fraser / Bjork
11 PM Jerry Seinfeld / David Bowie

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 2/20 NASA engineer Edward Tunstel explains how he decided on the
career of his dreams. Oscar-winning composer John Williams says he
owes much of his success to his collaborators.
Tu 2/21 Tavis talks with Ice Cube and R.J. Cutler, exec producers of
the new FX documentary series Black. White., and Ron Christie, former
special assistant to both President Bush and Vice President Cheney.
We 2/22 Tavis talks with activist and author Karenna Gore Schiff and
Rabbi Michael Lerner.
Th 2/23 Tavis talks with castmembers of the new film Madea's Family
Reunion: Tyler Perry, Cicely Tyson, Blair Underwood and Lynn Whitfield.
Fr 2/24 Tavis talks with actor Samuel L. Jackson, star of the new film
Freedomland.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 2/20 With the TRL Awards less than a week away, we need the day off
to get ready! See you tomorrow...
Tu 2/21 Who 'Roc'd Da Mic' in '05? Check out the live performances up
for a TRL Award.
We 2/22 We get a check-up from Lost's own Dr. Shephard, and
snowboarder Shaun White brings home the gold.
Th 2/23 Who's the 1st Lady of TRL? Get your votes in for Saturday's
big show!
Fr 2/24 The TRL Awards are tommorrow at noon, featuring Mariah, Kanye
and more! We'll try to tide you over until then...

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/20 Get your all-access pass as Tyra and her red-carpet
correspondent take you to Mariah Carey's Grammy party and score an
exclusive interview with Britney Spears and Kevin Federline! Go behind
the scenes of "The Price is Right" as Tyra gets transformed into a
"Barker's Beauty" spokesmodel, and makes her game show debut. And
don't miss LL Cool J as he steams up the show, and makes Tyra nervous
with his sexy lips! Tyra even gives him tips on how to work the runway
for an upcoming fashion show for his new clothing line.
Tu 2/21 What would you be willing to do to pay your bills? Tyra talks
to the women of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada
seen on HBO's hit show, "Cathouse." They share why they decided to
sell their bodies for money, the dangers of the business and how their
children feel about what they do for a living. Brothel owner Dennis
Hoff and Madame Suzette even talk about the celebrities that visit the
Ranch! Plus, Tyra interviews a woman who is about to start work at the
Bunny Ranch, including how far she will or won't go.
We 2/22 Would you go under the knife to change the way you look? Tyra
talks with a woman who has had 19 cosmetic surgeries and doesn't
intend to stop anytime soon! Plus, meet a woman who had a breast
augmentation that left her disfigured, and find out why she kept going
back to the same doctor, even after major complications. And actress
Jackie Guerra returns to surprise a guest who almost lost her life
after having gastric bypass surgery. Plus, life-changing surprises!
Th 2/23 Don't miss this star-filled hour! Tyra is joined by long-time
friend, Tyler Perry, the talented writer, director, producer and star
of the smash hit movie "Diary of A Mad Black Women" and the new movie
"Madea's Family Reunion!" Tyra and Tyler drop by their favorite place,
Krispy Kreme donuts, shocking customers as they work the drive-thru
window. And meet the rest of the cast of "Madea's Family Reunion":
Boris Kodjoe, Blair Underwood, Lynn Whitfield, Lisa Anderson and
Rochelle Aytes as they share personal stories � including shocking
video footage of Tyra with one of them!
Fr 2/24 Makeovers fit for a star! You've seen their work on the Fox
hit show, "American Idol" and now the famed style team from the TV
show makes over Tyra's musically talented guests. Plus, past "Idols"
Ryan Starr, Tamyra Gray, Kimberly Caldwell, Mikalah Gordon, Matthew
Rogers, Anthony Fedorov and Vonzell Solomon are back with updates and
an exclusive performance live in Tyra's studio!

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
February 13, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


Why, yes it is -- how thoughtful of you to remember! You
shouldn't have. This week, TV Barn turns seven.


A LA CARTE CABLE: THE BEST-SOUNDING BAD IDEA OF THE YEAR
Why unbundling cable channels sounds good: You might save money
on your bill. Why it doesn't: Phyllis Schlafly and Brent Bozell
are behind the idea.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/the_indecency_w.html
Followup: FORTUNE is on the story.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/you_heard_it_he.html

GREY'S ANATOMY: WHAT PRICE 38 MILLION VIEWERS?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/what_price_38_m.html
Followup: Last night's Grey's beat NBC's Olympic Games coverage
(25.3 million vs. 21.2 million).

REUVEN FRANK
Here's what I love about the internet. I eulogize former NBC
news president Reuven Frank with a tribute to one of his creations,
the beloved "NBC News Overnight," and within hours I've heard from
both Linda Ellerbee and Lloyd Dobyns.
Part 1:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/reuven_frank_ri.html
Part 2:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/the_man_who_bui.html

MICHAEL PACKS HIS BAGS
Last month, the GOP-appointed president of the Corporation for Public
Broadcasting promised to tone down the political acrimony. Last week,
she made good on that.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/02/michael_packs_h.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS (Happy anniversary to us)
Copyright 2000 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

February 14: in 1994, "The Late Show with David Letterman" learns the
easy way to get your best ratings ever -- interview Hillary Rodham
Clinton. Dave's mom Dorothy does the honors, asking the First Lady if
her husband can do anything about the speed limit in Connecticut.

February 15: in 1987, ABC asks "What if the Soviets had won the Cold
War?" The answer? "AMERIKA," a futuristic miniseries set in 1997,
where Kris Kristofferson and Robert Urich act tough for a heavy handed
fourteen-and-a-half hours. And in 1994, Aaron Barnhart begins his
weekly Late Show News, a weekly electronic sheet which will bring him
some fame and ... well, isn't that compensation enough?

February 16: in 1995, TV legend Alan Brady returns to TV, playing
himself on "Mad About You," helping filmmaker Paul Buckman with a
docmentary on the history of television. Some viewers claim Brady
bears a strong resemblance to actor Carl Reiner, star of "The Dick Van
Dyke Show."

February 17: in 1994, society ends as we know it when Enrique Jos
Martn Morales (aka Ricky Martin) joins the pantheon of singing
shirtless lunks in the cast of that awful moral sewer known as
"General Hospital" in the role of bartender Miguel Morez.

February 18: in 1990, David Banner slash "The Creature" falls to the
ground lifeless, ending the TV movie, "The Death of the Incredible
Hulk." Plans were actually afoot for a rebirth/revenge Of The Hulk
sequel, but they were scrapped in light of Bill Bixby's mounting
health problems.

February 19: in 1987, Yul Brynner encourages people to kick the habit
in a controversial, anti-smoking public service announcement. Brenner
should know the consequences of lung cancer -- he's dead when the
spots begin airing.

February 20: in 1968, Peter Falk dons the rumpled raincoat as Lt.
(Frank) Columbo in "Prescription: Murder," a TV adaptation of William
Link and Richard Levinson's stage play. It's not Columbo's first TV
appearance, though, as Bert Freed played the character in "Enough
Rope," an episode of "The Chevy Mystery Theatre."

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 2/13: Geena Davis, INXS
Tu 2/14: Julianne Moore, O'Jays
We 2/15: Charles Barkley, Catherine Keener
Th 2/16: Jimmy Fallon
Fr 2/17: Donald Trump, Bill Burr

Mo 2/20: Marcia Cross, the Daytona 500 winner
Tu 2/21: Matthew Fox
We 2/22: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Th 2/23: Amanda Peet, Jack Hanna

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 2/13: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Tu 2/14: Paul Reiser
We 2/15: Matt Dillon, "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue cover model
Th 2/16: Billy Crystal
Fr 2/17: Samuel L. Jackson

Mo 2/20: William H. Macy, Alonzo Bodden
Tu 2/21: TBA
We 2/22: Howie Mandel
Th 2/23: Terrence Howard
Fr 2/24: Dana Carvey, Tyler Perry

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 2/13: Alyson Hannigan, Paul Haggis, Frank Caliendo
Tu 2/14: Marlee Matlin, Lisa Loeb
We 2/15: Paul Reiser, Judy Greer, Jeff Cesario
Th 2/16: Kiefer Sutherland, Amy Adams, Rocco DeLuca
Fr 2/17: Jason Biggs, Fiona Apple

Mo 2/20: William Shatner, Josh Bernstein
Tu 2/21: Carl Reiner, Nadine Velasquez
We 2/22: William H. Macy, Carl Edwards
Th 2/23: Samuel L. Jackson, Cokie Roberts, the Lashes

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 2/13: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/14: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/15: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/16: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/17: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/20: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/21: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/22: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/23: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/27: Jim Carrey, Isaac Hayes (R 12/20/05)
Tu 2/28: Bruce Willis, Dropkick Murphys
We 3/1: Gisele Bundchen, Belle & Sebastian
Th 3/2: TBA
Fr 3/3: Alec Baldwin, the Derek Trucks Band

Mo 3/6: Johnny Knoxville, John O'Hurley, Dressy Bessy (R 8/4/05)
Tu 3/7: Sarah Jessica Parker, Matisyahu
We 3/8: Matthew McConaughey, James Hunter
Th 3/9: Salma Hayek, Street Drum Corps
Fr 3/10: Kristin Davis, Melissa Cross

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 2/13: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/14: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/15: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/16: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/17: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/20: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Tu 2/21: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
We 2/22: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Th 2/23: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage
Fr 2/24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/27: Joe Rogan, Joe Firstman (R 1/17/06)
Tu 2/28: Alyson Hannigan, Dilated Peoples
We 3/1: Supergrass
Th 3/2: TBA
Fr 3/3: Mike Birbiglia, Wicked Wisdom

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 2/13: Mike Mullane
Tu 2/14: Peter Tertzakian
We 2/15: Julianne Moore
Th 2/16: Ed Harris

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 2/13: Christine Todd Whitman (R)
Tu 2/14: Emily Yoffe (R)
We 2/15: Al Jazeera reporter David Marish (R)
Th 2/16: Annie Duke (R)

Mo 2/20: Rerun TBA
Tu 2/21: Lama Surya Das
We 2/22: Michael Eric Dyson
Th 2/23: David Brooks

Mo 2/27: Tony Campolo
Tu 2/28: Brett O'Donnell
We 3/1: Arianna Huffington
Th 3/2: Jeffrey Sachs

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 2/13: Freddie Prinze, Jr., golf pro John Daly, Jack's Mannequin
Tu 2/14: Flavor Flav
We 2/15: Fred Savage, Yellowcard
Th 2/16: Jack Osbourne, "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue cover model
Fr 2/17: James Denton, Steve Harvey, Hawthorne Heights

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 2/13: Jenna Elfman, Naveen Andrews, Andrea Bocelli
Tu 2/14: Geena Davis, Laura Berman, "Wife Swap" couples
We 2/15: TBA
Th 2/16: Jason Biggs, Paul Walker, Dr. Larry Norton
Fr 2/17: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, Nora Vincent,
Chef Ed

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 2/13: Diddy, "Dancing With The Stars" castoff George Hamilton
Tu 2/14: Edie Falco, Harry Connick Jr.
We 2/15: Julianne Moore, INXS
Th 2/16: Joan Rivers
Fr 2/17: Guest co-host Simon Cowell

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/13: Heath Ledger, Sheryl Crow, Sherri Shepherd
Tu 2/14: Lauren Graham
We 2/15: Minnie Driver, Jason Biggs, Drew Lachey, Cheryl Burke
Th 2/16: Tyra Banks, Betty White
Fr 2/17: Keira Knightley, 5-year-old presidential expert Caleb Russell

Mo 2/20: Pamela Anderson, Alyson Hannigan
Tu 2/21: Simon Cowell
We 2/22: Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Applegate
Th 2/23: Jeff Probst

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/13: Paula Abdul, Anthony Rapp, Ming Tsai
Tu 2/14: Wendy Diamond, Wolfgang Puck
We 2/15: Naveen Andrews, Andrea Bocelli
Th 2/16: Ron Eldard, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the cast of "The 25th
Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee"
Fr 2/17: Jeff Gordon, Melinda Clarke

Mo 2/20: Serena Williams, the latest "Dancing With the Stars" castoff
Tu 2/21: Oscar de la Hoya, Rick Bayless
We 2/22: Cal Ripken Jr.
Th 2/23: Jerry Springer, Patrick Swayze, Dave Lieberman
Fr 2/24: Tyler Perry, Andrew Firestone

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 2/13 Saudi Arabia's Ambassador to the United States Prince Turki
Al-Faisal / Sammuel L. Jackson

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 2/13 Love Smart Island
Tu 2/14 TBA
We 2/15 Mr. Mooch
Th 2/16 Trouble in the Spotlight
Fr 2/17 Family Troublemakers

ISAAC, Style
Mo 2/13 Iman, CNBC's Maria Bartiromo, and chef Mark Bittman.
Tu 2/14 Kimora Lee Simmons, John Waters, and "Tiny Living" with Doug
Wilson from Trading Spaces.
We 2/15 Andie MacDowell, Betsey Johnson, and celebrity chef Todd English
Th 2/16 Elle MacPherson, Brian McKnight, and "What Your Clothes Say
About You" with Simon Doonan, creative director at Barney's.
Fr 2/17 Desperate Housewives' Roger Bart, American Idol's Kimberley
Locke, and Isaac designs a dress for Selma Blair.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/13 Rosie O'Donnell / Chocolate Pudding Cake
Tu 2/14 Andrea Bocelli / Kenny Mayne / Chocolate Covered Spoons
We 2/15 John O'Hurley / Best in Show from the Westminster Kennel Club
Dog Show
Th 2/16 Harrison Ford / Serena Williams
Fr 2/17 Bill Hemmer / New York City chef Frank DeCarlo

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 2/13 The Man Who Conned Nine Women into Marriage.
Tu 2/14 Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood
We 2/15 The Young Boy Lured into Becoming an Internet Porn Star
Th 2/16 What if Oprah was White?
Fr 2/17 The Great American Debt Diet

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Fr 2/17 Jack Abramoff, "Scooter" Libby and Lisa Rinna.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/4 Natalie Portman / Fallout Boy

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 2/13 Noon & 11 PM Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey / G-Unit
2 AM Mike Meyers / Aerosmith
Tu 2/14 11 PM Drew Barrymore / Kelis
2 AM Roma Downey / Missy Elliott with Timbaland & Magoo
We 2/15 Noon & 11 PM Davis Spade / Jack Johnson
2 AM Winona Ryder / Moby
Th 2/16 Noon Julianne Moore / Backstreet Boys
11 PM Ben Affleck / N.E.R.D.
2 AM Lara Flynn Boyle / Bon Jovi
Fr 2/17 Noon Samuel L. Jackson / Ben Folds Five
11 PM Colin Firth / Norah Jones
2 AM Mariel Hemingway / Blues Traveler

CROSSFIRE WITH DICK CHENEY, BLLZY
Mo 2/13 Jack in the Box employee who got my order wrong,
"accidentally" disfigured in deep fat frier
Tu 2/14 Letter to the editor writer in Boise who criticized the
Republican Agenda, "accidentally" fell into a bear trap
We 2/15 Chinese Laundry owner who used too much starch, "accidentally"
classified as enemy combatant.
Th 2/16 Gardner who wanted legal wages, "accidentally" over-fertilized
Fr 2/17 Jon Stewart, hosting the Oscars, a fate worse than death

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 2/13 Tristan Rogers ("General Hospital") discusses his return as
Robert Scorpio. Plus, Mark Collier ("As the World Turns") drops by.
Also, Red Dress Fashion Show with Johnson & Johnson. Ty co-hosts with
special guest Linda Dano.
Tu 2/14 Rebecca Budig (formerly of "All My Children") gets a
Valentine's kiss from guest-host Linda Dano. Plus, The Single Girl's
Guide to Celebrating Valentine's Day with Jeanne Benedict. Also,
Behind the Scenes with Guiding Light's headwriter David Kreizman.
We 2/15 Stephen Schnetzer (formerly of "Another World" and now "As the
World Turns") reunites with former costar Linda Dano, who's sitting in
for Lisa. Plus, Jason Thompson ("General Hospital") is featured. Also,
Bow Wow Bliss: How to heal your doggie with massage, with Leslie
Gallagher.
Th 2/16 Interviews include Kelli Giddish ("All My Children") and Jason
Olive (HBO's "Comeback" and formerly of "Passions"). Plus, The Hottest
New Designers Your Favorite Celebrities are Wearing with Amanda
Gerrigos. Also, World Champion Juggler Jason Garfield.
Fr 2/17 It's Twins Day! Bruce Michael and Seth Hall ("Passions" and
"One Life to Live") and Alex and Addison Hoover ("The Bold and the
Beautiful") visit the set. Plus, The Carlson Twins Construction Hunks
challenge Lisa and Ty to a building contest. Also, The Coors Twins sing.
Sa 2/18 Misuse of Capital Letters in Press Releases

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 2/13 U.S. Army Reserves Command Sergeant Major CSM Michele Jones /
Michael Rapaport
Tu 2/14 Historian John Hope Franklin
We 2/15 Historian Nell Irvin Painter / Actress Karyn Parsons
Th 2/16 History professor Gary Nash / Poet, author Paul Beatty
Fr 2/17 Author Tommie Shelby / Filmmakers Kimberlee Acquaro and Stacy
Sherman

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 2/13 Yes, we know LL's the greatest--but please, try to 'Control'
yourself when he stops by! Plus...don't pick up that phone...
Tu 2/14 Pussycat Dolls rock our world, while Freedomland's Samuel
Jackson stays cool as always
We 2/15 Who says big stars can't say they're 'Sorry'? Madonna does in
our 1st Look!
Th 2/16 Eight Below star Paul Walker 'chills' with us; Maria Sharapova
takes a break from the court

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/13 Real Life Brokeback Mountain: Tyra talks to people who did
more than just watch the Oscar-nominated movie, "Brokeback Mountain,"
� they lived it! Imagine finding out that your boyfriend, fianc� or
husband was gay! The ex-fianc� of an Iowa cowboy tells Tyra how
devastating it was to have her lover leave her for a man, and his
current partner shares his feelings about the fact that they're still
best friends. Another cowboy couple shares details about their life in
the gay rodeo. Plus, Tyra says, "He's a Keeper," to a cowboy ready to
ride off into the sunset with the man of his dreams.
Tu 2/14 Celebrate Valentine's Day with Tyra! Don't miss reality star
Kristin Cavallari, the host of "Get this Party Started," as she talks
about her new TV show and the "Laguna Beach" love triangle drama! Tyra
helps a couple add sizzle back to their sex lives with a romantic
lingerie makeover. Steve Watson from "Monster House" helps keep guys
out of the doghouse this Valentine's Day with gift-buying tips. Plus,
a clueless woman gets the surprise proposal of her dreams from her
knight in shining armor. And, don't miss Tyra's biggest audience
giveaway yet � including a way you can get in on the action!
We 2/15 More than 80 percent of Americans are overweight. Tyra talks
with celebrities whose weight became such a health issue, that they
chose to have the controversial gastric bypass surgery. Singer Carnie
Wilson, actress Jackie Guerra and L.A. radio personality "Big Boy"
open up about why they decided to have the surgery, and how their
lives have changed since their operations. Plus, Jackie and Carnie
have a tearful sisterhood moment when Jackie apologizes for judging
Carnie for having the surgery before she decided to do it herself.
Th 2/16 You never know what to expect when the outrageous former judge
from "America's Next Top Model," Janice Dickinson, joins Tyra for an
entire hour! Janice opens up and lets you inside her head when she
talks about suffering from sexual abuse as a child, her out-of-control
behavior as a young model, and finally explains why she's so
unpredictable! Plus, Janice talks about her new modeling agency and
reality show, and presents the winner of Tyra's "Transsexual Top
Model" competition with her first modeling contract.
Fr 2/17 Experience your favorite reality TV shows, as you've never
seen them before! Tyra comes face to face with trash-talker Kathy
Griffin to talk about the insults Kathy has made about Tyra on her
Bravo show, "My Life on the D-List." Tyra's stage becomes an ice rink
as Jillian Barberie from "Skating with Celebrities," teaches Tyra a
few winning moves. Hunky "Bachelor" Travis tells Tyra about his
romantic experiences in the city of Paris, France, and his sister
explains how she convinced him to become the world's most-wanted
bachelor! Plus, correspondent and Tyra viewer, Rachel Gold, interviews
Ed Harris, Rachel Weiss and Ted Danson at the SAG Awards!

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
February 7, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

Kind of a slow week at TV Barn. Rather than give specific URLs, I'll
just direct you to the main site for these and other stories:

BACK AND TO THE LEFT, ONTO HIS LAP
Ameriquest had two of the biggest rewinders yesterday.  I must admit
to excessively rewinding a couple of those CGI-overkill ads, but I did
replay "Friendly Skies" twice, once for myself and once for Mrs. TV
Barn, whose interest in the Super Bowl could not be more fleeting.

SIX THOUGHTS ON SUPER SUNDAY
3. What do you think McDonald's meant by that silent, molded Ronald
McDonald? Was that a dig at Burger King? Since when is Mickey D's
delivering rebuttals to BK, a chain it has spent the past four decades
ignoring?

TV EDITORIALS RETURN TO NOLA
If anything positive has come from the broadcasting washout that
followed Hurricane Katrina, it is this: Not one but two TV stations in
New Orleans have resumed the long-moribund practice of delivering
on-air editorials.

TV BARN PODCAST
Finally, I have figured out how KCUR's audio archives work and can
make available my monthly talks with Walt Bodine.

SIMON SAYS: YOU'RE FAT
Anybody else surprised by how "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell
managed to reach a new low last night when he (with some help from the
slo-mo and sound effects guys) humiliated an overweight contestant?

IMBS: OPRAH INTERVIEWS DAVE
And are you disappointed that I don't mean Letterman?


***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS (Soaps' on!)
Copyright 2006 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

February 7: On this night in 1980, life's a beach and the desperate
houeswives of "Knots Landing" want to die thanks to the constant
attacks from a motorcycle gang they tussled with at the shore.

February 8: On this night in 1980, Jock buys a law firm, Sue Ellen
reveals why she's divorcing J.R., and Alan proposes on a romantic
evenign in "Dallas."

February 9: On this night in 1991, Agent Cooper learns who shot him
fifteen episodes earlier on "Twin Peaks." Shame nobody's still around
to care that it was Josie Packard.

February 10: On this night in 1982, a blind Blake is sent a letter
informing him that Krystle is having an affair. How will the "Dynasty"
be affected when he gets his sight back at just the wrong moment?

February 11: On this night in 1988, Michael expects a hefty fee to
represent a woman fired for obesity on "L.A. Law."

February 12: On this night in Chase learns that Angela caused the
paralysis of Jasons sweetheart. And the chickens have come home to
roost at the "Falcon Crest."

February 13: On this night in 1986, "The Colbys" fight for life,
consider divorce and are suspected in the murder of an oil tanker
captain responsible for an oil spill. And how was your week?

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 2/6: Harrison Ford, Michael Buble
Tu 2/7: Beyonce Knowles, Stephen A. Smith
We 2/8: Stupid Human Tricks, Rachel Weisz
Th 2/9: Sen. John McCain, Heidi Klum
Fr 2/10: Martha Stewart, Brian Regan

Mo 2/13: Geena Davis, INXS
Tu 2/14: Julianne Moore, O'Jays
We 2/15: Charles Barkley

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 2/6: Terry Bradshaw, "Go Daddy" Girl Candice Michelle, Yo-Yo Ma
with John Williams
Tu 2/7: Ellen DeGeneres, 5-year-old trumpet prodigy Geoffrey Gallante,
Yellowcard
We 2/8: Felicity Huffman, the Fray
Th 2/9: Michelle Williams, Rob Thomas
Fr 2/10: Paul Walker, Jillian Barberie, Fiona Apple

Mo 2/13: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Tu 2/14: Paul Reiser
We 2/15: Matt Dillon, "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit cover model
Th 2/16: Samuel L. Jackson

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 2/6: Mary Steenburgen, Big & Rich
Tu 2/7: Jeff Probst, Lauren Holly, Ne-Yo
We 2/8: Jean Reno, Zooey Deschanel, Trace Adkins
Th 2/9: Frank Caliendo
Fr 2/10: Eddie Izzard, zoologist Patti Hall

Mo 2/13: Alyson Hannigan, Paul Haggis, Jeff Cesario
Tu 2/14: Lisa Loeb
We 2/15: Paul Reiser, Judy Greer
Th 2/16: Kiefer Sutherland, Rocco DeLuca

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 2/6: Tiger Woods, Amy Poehler, Against Me! (R 9/30/05)
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, Amy Adams, K.T. Tunstall
We 2/8: Rachel Weisz, Chris Meloni, Sigur Ros
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan, Steve Coogan, Aimee Mann
Fr 2/10: Paul Bettany, Graham Bensinger

2/13-24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

Mo 2/27: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab for Cutie (R 9/27/05)
Tu 2/28: Bruce Willis, Dropkick Murphys

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 2/6: Rulon Gardner, Sean Paul, North Mississippi Allstars (R 1/12/06)
Tu 2/7: Snoop Dogg, DPGC, Joe Firstman (house band for the week)
We 2/8: Matchbook Romance
Th 2/9: Keyshawn Johnson
Fr 2/10: Fred Willard, Jarod Miller

2/13-24: Pre-empted due to Olympics coverage

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 2/6: Former Assistant Defense Secretary for Public Affairs Torie Clark
Tu 2/7: Peter Tertzakian
We 2/8: Harrison Ford
Th 2/9: Eugene Linden

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 2/6: Sen. Barbara Boxer
Tu 2/7: R. James Woolsey
We 2/8: Alan Dershowitz
Th 2/9: George Packer

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Su 2/5: Post-Super Bowl show with Diddy, Eminem

Mo 2/6: Mischa Barton, Travis Barker, Shanna Moakler, James Blunt
Tu 2/7: Jorge Garcia, Dan Naturman
We 2/8: Wilmer Valderrama, Golden Brooks, Dwight Yoakam
Th 2/9: Nick Cannon, Kathy Griffin, Damian Marley
Fr 2/10: Steve Coogan, Dr. Travis Stork, Daddy Yankee

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 2/6: Paula Abdul, Jackie Collins, Train
Tu 2/7: Freddie Prinze Jr., Cindy Crawford
We 2/8: Daytime Emmy Awards announcements
Th 2/9: Jane Curtin, Westminster Kennel Club dogs, Mario Cantone
Fr 2/10: Minnie Driver

Mo 2/13: Andrea Bocelli, "Wife Swap" couples
Tu 2/14: Geena Davis, Laura Berman
We 2/15: TBA
Th 2/16: TBA
Fr 2/17: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 2/6: Roseanne, "Dancing With The Stars" cast-off Tia Carrere
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, Rachel Bilson
We 2/8: Josh Holloway, Collective Soul
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan
Fr 2/10: "Live's Wedding Week" concludes with the marriage ceremony of
the 2006 wedding couple

Mo 2/13: TBA
Tu 2/14: TBA
We 2/15: INXS

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/6: Barry Manilow
Tu 2/7: Jamie Foxx
We 2/8: Queen Latifah, Bonnie Raitt, Gerard Senehi
Th 2/9: Madonna, Nelly
Fr 2/10: Harrison Ford, Dr. Travis Stork, Faith Hill

Mo 2/13: Heath Ledger, Sheryl Crow
Tu 2/14: Lauren Graham
We 2/15: Minnie Driver, Jason Biggs
Th 2/16: Roseanne

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 2/6: Randy Jackson, Lake Bell
Tu 2/7: Jackie Collins, Ivana Milicevic, Aqualung
We 2/8: Freddie Prinze Jr., Hilarie Burton
Th 2/9: Barry Manilow, Gloria Allred
Fr 2/10: Jeff Gordon, T.R. Knight

Mo 2/13: Paula Abdul, Anthony Rapp, Ming Tsai
Tu 2/14: Tom Cavanagh, the latest "Dancing With the Stars" castoff,
Wolfgang Puck
We 2/15: Andrea Bocelli
Th 2/16: Ron Eldard, Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Fr 2/17: Virginia Madsen


CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 2/6 Wendy Wasserstein tribute

ISAAC, Style
Mo 2/6 Sarah Fergeson / Gastineau Girls
Tu 2/7 Betsey Johnson Andie MacDowell
We 2/8 Shannon Elizabeth / Bo Bice
Th 2/9 Sarah Jessica Parker
Fr 2/10 John Waters / Doug Wilson

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/6 Barry Manilow / Bread
Tu 2/7 Roseanne / Fondue
We 2/8 Constance Marie
Th 2/9 Kim raver / Angel food cake
Fr 2/10 Glycerine Soap for V-Day

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 2/6 Nate and Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria have a secret
of their own. Then, Eva and the love of her life, NBA star Tony
Parker, in their first TV interview together. And, where do you do the
dishes when you have no kitchen? In the tub! See why Nate says this is
his best makeover yet.
Tu 2/7 Exclusive: Faith Hill and Tim McGraw's First TV Interview
Together: The superstar country couple in their first TV interview
together. Love, romance...and the female fans. Plus, a special
tour�"just for us�"of their favorite place on earth. And, the debut of
their brand new love song.
We 2/8 The sexiest man alive, Matthew McConaughey, on his love,
Penelope Cruz. Plus, Matthew's new "foxy" girl, and an exclusive tour
of his L.A. home. Then, top Grammy nominee John Legend.
Th 2/9 Meet the baby Oprah helped bring into the world 16 years ago
and more amazing followups! Plus, the O.J. trial made him famous...and
nearly ruined him. Now, in a rare interview, Christopher Darden speaks
out. What you never heard.
Fr 2/10 Bob Greene on how to finally lose those last nagging 20
pounds. Dr. Oz and the critical medical test we all must have. And,
Dr. Robin's relationship advice you don't want to miss.

REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
Returning 2/17

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 3/4 Natalie Portman / Fallout Boy

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 2/6 Noon & 11 PM Lindsay Lohan / Coldplay
2 AM Claire Danes / Mariah Carey
Tu 2/7 Noon TBA
11 PM Robert De Niro / Destiny's Child
2 AM Luke Wilson / U2
We 2/8 10 AM Johnny Knoxville / System Of A Down
11 AM Will Ferrell / Queens Of The Stone Age
Noon Jennifer Aniston / The Black Eyed Peas
1 PM Topher Grace / The Killers
2 AM Kate Winslet / Eminem
3 PM Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson
4 PM Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani
11 PM Topher Grace / The Killers
2 AM Christina Aguilera / Maroon 5
Th 2/9 11 PM Kate Winslet / Eminem
2 AM Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
Fr 2/10 Noon Paris Hilton /Keane
11 PM Alec Baldwin / Missy Elliott
2 AM John McCain / The White Stripes

SEARCH FOR YESTERDAY, Soapnot
Mo 2/6 Douglas threatens to rewrite his will unless Arturo and Greta
agree to adopt Maxwell Jr.
Tu 2/7 Josie rigs the speedboat to explode if Ruckert tries to leave
with their son Guane.
We 2/8 Renaldo enters the priesthood to uncover the truth of Delilah's
alleged death by chihuahua.
Th 2/9 The rebels mourn the loss of Schafik Handal.
Fr 2/10 Vivian and Jessica abort their plan to rob the fashion studio
just as Logan and Frieda are making whoopie on the fire escape.

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 2/6 Martha Madison, Judith Chapman
Tu 2/7 Christian LeBlanc, Mozella, Dr. Billy Goldberg
We 2/8 Jeff Branson, Ashley Benson, Mix 5 / "Coming out: the new trend
in daytime"
Th 2/9 Antonio Sabato Jr., Melinda Clarke
Fr 2/10 Michelle Stafford, Kevin Spiritas, jed allan

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 2/6 Congressman David Drier, Common
Tu 2/7 Manning Marable, Mary Steenburgen
We 2/8 Michael Eric Dyson, Jean Reno
Th 2/9 harrison Ford
Fr 2/10 Kwame Anthony Appiah, Lynn Redgrave

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 2/6 The Crunk (Dem Franchize Boyz), The Cute (Freddie Prinze, Jr.)
and the Classic (Madonna and Mariah retire)
Tu 2/7 We stalk the 'Pink Panther' with Beyonce--and get our fill of
'One Tree Hill'.
We 2/8 'Lost' hottie Josh Holloway finds TRL and we do a Grammy®
check-in with Kanye and Maroon 5!
Th 2/9 Ummm...just between us? We've got a super-secret 1st look at
the new Hawthorne Heights video

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 2/6 anorexia/bulemia w/actress Scarlett Pomers
Tu 2/7 Facing fears / soap actress Alison Sweeney on "Fear Factor"
We 2/8 teen sex lives. Duh, it's sweeps.
Th 2/9 Wild & Out / Bally's Las Vegas Casino
Fr 2/10 America's Next Top Transsexual model with judges Janice
Dickenson, James St. James, and Kevin Aviance

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
January 30, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


Same reason "CSI" isn't on Friday night anymore
In the TV Barn Radio segment of my KMOX show this afternoon, Aaron
Barnhart argued that ABC anchorman Bob Woodruff, injured yesterday by
an IED in Baghdad, never should have been there in the first place.
Then he answered a listener question about why the Super Bowl isn't
played on a Saturday night, which would be a lot more convenient for
most Americans. He also previewed this week's release of the first
season of "Hill Street Blues" on DVD.
http://harrisonline.com/

"The Outsourcing Report"
PBS should be doing a show like this -- and Lou Dobbs should be the
anchor -- but public TV is too chicken.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/the_outsourcing.html

"Hill Street": Drama + time = comedy
Hard as it is to believe that this show debuted 25 years ago, it's
even harder to imagine that such descriptives as "gritty" and
"dramatic" once applied to "Hill Street Blues."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/hill_street_dra.html

For example, John Kasich
A reader can't believe what some people will do to be on TV.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/for_example_joh.html

Nan A., hey hey, goodbye
Did anybody else notice that it was a website (thesmokinggun.com)
owned by a cable TV network (Court TV) that exposed a so-called
memoirist as an unrepentant liar (James Frey)? And that it was a TV
personality (Oprah Winfrey) who finally summoned the million little
doubts, expressed on Amazon.com and other sites over the past three
years, and not only destroyed Frey on national TV but may also have
permanently damaged the career of his editor, Nan A. Talese of Doubleday?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/nan_a_hey_hey_g.html

Weekend viewing
Tonight, the recently appointed general manager of Kansas City Public
Television begins hosting a talk show. It's one of several initiatives
Victor Hogstrom has going to raise money for the perennially
cash-strapped station. Plus: My review of Sunday's "Hallmark Hall of
Fame" production, a curiously outdated remake of Pat Conroy's "The
Water Is Wide."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/weekend_viewing.html

Two sides to every story
The National Fair Housing Alliance is not happy with my (or the
Times's) "renewed interest" in ABC's reality show "Welcome to the
Neighborhood."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/two_sides_to_ev.html

From Islamabad to Peculiar
Here's something that doesn't happen everyday. KCTV-5, the news leader
at 10 p.m. with its aggressive, "live-late breaking-investigative"
approach to everything from sexual predators to wayward cars, just
hired the replacement to former I-team reporter Steve Chamraz: Ash-Har
Quaraishi ... who until recently was CNN's bureau chief in Islamabad.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/from_islamabad_.html

Plus ...
* all you really need to know about the formation of the new CW network.
* the new late-night talk show hosted by former Letterman and
"Seinfeld" writer Spike Feresten
* And my final report from Pasadena

... all at TVBarn.com.

Here's the entire January archive:
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/index.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2000 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

January 31: in 1958, "Jackpot Bowling" premieres on NBC with Leo
Durocher as host. By September 1960, Durocher will be replaced by
Chick Hearn and Milton Berle, still trying to work off his 30-year
contract with the network.

February 1: in 1965, twenty-six-year-old punk Peter Jennings is handed
the keys to the anchor desk at "ABC's Evening News." His test drive
lasts three years, but he'll be lured back by a slick salesman to take
it off the lot again in 1983.

February 2: in 1984, following the death of actor Michael Conrad in
November 1983, "Hill Street Blues" deals with the passing of his
character, Sgt. Phil Freemason Esterhaus. As the morning roll call
ends, Captain Furillo announces Esterhaus has died of a heart attack
at age 55 (while making love). Also on tonight's episode, "Grace Under
Pressure," Officer Coffey's girlfriend, played by guest star Linda
Hamilton, is raped at a donut shop.

February 3: in 1976, CBS unveils its gritty new drama "City Of
Angels," with private dick Jake Axminster casing the city for an
honest buck in the gin joints and dives of '30s La-La-Land. Who is the
brash sex symbol starring in this "Chinatown" ripoff? Wayne Rogers,
who's left "M*A*S*H" for this. Elaine Joyce lends Axminster a hand as
his secretary Marsha.

February 4: in 1979, society ends as we know it with the series debut
of that awful moral sewer known as "Co-Ed Fever," the last of three
"Animal House"-based sitcoms to debut in early 1979. David Keith stars
in CBS's entry, a show so vile it's immediately cancelled. NBC's
"Brothers and Sisters" with Chris Lemmon gets pulled after two and a
half months, and ABC's "official" spinoff, "Delta House," starring
Josh Mostel as "Blotto," makes it all the way to the end of April.

February 5: in 1967, having failed in the sitcom format, Tom and Dick
Smothers give TV a second shot with "The Smothers Brothers Comedy
Hour." CBS hopes to use the brothers' "sibling revelry" to syphon off
the under-30 crowd from timeslot competitor "Bonanza." By the end of
its first season, the audience defection has knocked the Cartwright
Brothers from first place to sixth.

February 6: in 1972, half a million angry letters arrive in the CBS
mailroom when fundamentalists demand that CBS drop its plans to run an
edited version of an X-rated flick, "The Demand."

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 1/30: Scarlett Johansson, Tiki Barber (R 1/10/06)
Tu 1/31: Kiefer Sutherland, Andy Samberg, Alicia Keys (R 1/12/06)
We 2/1: Tommy Lee Jones, Anthony Hamilton
Th 2/2: Oprah Winfrey, Bonnie Raitt (R 12/01/05)
Fr 2/3: Diddy, Train
Mo 2/6: Harrison Ford
Tu 2/7: Beyonce Knowles

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 1/30: Dominic Monaghan, P.O.D.
Tu 1/31: Harrison Ford, Bryce Dallas Howard, Juanes
We 2/1: Snoop Dogg, Ron White
Th 2/2: Roseanne Barr, Sue Johanson, Sergio Mendes featuring will.i.am
Fr 2/3: Jarod Miller, Paul Bettany, Collective Soul
Mo 2/6: Terry Bradshaw, Yo-Yo Ma with John Williams
Tu 2/7: Ellen DeGeneres, Gordon Ramsay, Yellowcard
We 2/8: The Fray
Th 2/9: Michelle Williams, Rob Thomas
Fr 2/10: Paul Walker, Fiona Apple

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 1/30: A tribute to Craig's father, with Dr. Drew Pinsky, Amy
Yasbeck, Wicked Tinkers
Tu 1/31: Jim Belushi, Parminder Nagra, Matisyahu
We 2/1: James Woods, Piper Perabo, Keaton Simons
Th 2/2: Emma Thompson, Steve Byrne
Fr 2/3: Lynn Redgrave, Isaiah Washington, Jeff Cesario
Mo 2/6: Mary Steenburgen, Big & Rich
Tu 2/7: Paula Abdul, Jeff Probst
We 2/8: Trace Adkins

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 1/30: Ricky Gervais, Stephen King, Nickel Creek (R 9/23/05)
Tu 1/31: Benjamin Bratt, Andy Samberg, Broken Social Scene
We 2/1: Meredith Vieira, Jim Gaffigan
Th 2/2: Bette Midler
Fr 2/3: Sarah Vowell, Rick Moranis
Mo 2/6: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab for Cutie (R 9/28/05)
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, K.T. Tunstall
We 2/8: Sigur Ros
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan, Aimee Mann
Fr 2/10: Paul Bettany, Graham Bensinger

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 1/30: Diane Farr, Big Boi, Joe Firstman (R 1/11/06)
Tu 1/31: Chris Masterson, Imogen Heap, Joe Firstman (house band for
the week)
We 2/1: Simon Baker, Imogen Heap
Th 2/2: Kevin Nealon, P.O.D.
Fr 2/3: Nia Long, Kat Von D, Chris Garver, Ahmed Ahmed, Anna Nalick

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 1/30: Randy Jackson
Tu 1/31: Charles Barkley
We 2/1: Michael Beschloss
Th 2/2: Robert O'Harrow, Jr.

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 1/30: Annie Duke
Tu 1/31: Reporter Dave Marish
We 2/1: Emily Yoffe
Th 2/2: Gov. Christine Todd Whitman
Mo 2/6: Sen. Barbara Boxer
Tu 2/7: Mike McCurry
We 2/8: Alan Dershowitz
Th 2/9: George Packer

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 1/30: Regis Philbin, Jordana Brewster, She Wants Revenge (R 1/24/06)
Tu 1/31: Kid Rock, David Alan Grier
We 2/1: David Spade, Rob Schneider, Jon Heder, Dwele
Th 2/2: TBA
Fr 2/3: Jessica Alba, Anthony Anderson, the Four Tops

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 1/30: Barry Manilow
Tu 1/31: Michael Douglas, Paula Begoun
We 2/1: Favorite celebrity moments
Th 2/2: The 2,000th episode with Regis Philbin, Tom Selleck
Fr 2/3: Dr. Jeanine Downie
Mo 2/6: Jackie Collins, Train
Tu 2/7: Freddie Prinze Jr., Cindy Crawford
We 2/8: Daytime Emmy Awards announcements
Th 2/9: Westminster Kennel Club dogs, Mario Cantone

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 1/30: Kristin Cavallari, Carmen Electra, Katie Brown
Tu 1/31: Meredith Vieira, Randy Jackson, Allana Baroni
We 2/1: Jeff Probst, Benjamin Bratt, Carley Roney
Th 2/2: Bette Midler, the "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" Fab Five,
"Modern Bride" editor Antonia Van Der Meer
Fr 2/3: Sean Paul, travel expert Valerie D'Elia
Mo 2/6: Roseanne, the latest "Dancing With The Stars" cast-off
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, Rachel Bilson
We 2/8: Josh Holloway, Collective Soul
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan
Fr 2/10: "Live's Wedding Week" concludes with the marriage ceremony of
the 2006 wedding couple

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/30: Jon Cryer, Simon Baker, Westminster Kennel Club dogs
Tu 1/31: Jane Kaczmarek, Christopher Meloni, Michael Buble
We 2/1: Sean Hayes, Cheryl Hines, Jason Mraz, Yah-Kee the singing parrot
Th 2/2: Teri Hatcher, Paul Bettany
Fr 2/3: Super Bowl show with 7-year-old football expert Phillip Vargo
Mo 2/6: Debra Messing, Barry Manilow
Tu 2/7: TBA
We 2/8: Bonnie Raitt, Gerard Senehi
Th 2/9: Grammy show
Fr 2/10: Harrison Ford, Sheryl Crow

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/30: Sean Astin, Catherine Hicks, the Ten Tenors
Tu 1/31: Mark Paul Gosselaar, Dr. Gadget, "Dancing With The Stars"
cast-off Master P
We 2/1: Joy Behar, Glynis McCants, chef Brian Averna
Th 2/2: Liza Minnelli, chef Sal Scognamillo
Fr 2/3: Emma Thompson, Joel Siegel, David Tutera

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 1/30 Donny Deutsch, Gilberto Gil

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/30 Holly Robinson Peete - book "Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm
watching the Game: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro-Football"
Astronaut Mike Mullane
Picabo Street
Tu 1/31 Amber Brkich & Rob Mariano
Maria Menounos
We 2/1 Il Divo - recent album "Ancora"
Carmen Electra - "Max Factor Make Up Line"
Th 2/2 Richard Simmons
Fr 2/3 Rhonde (Tampa Bay Buccaneer) and Tiki Barber (NY Giant) -
children's book "By My Brother's Side"

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 1/30 A bank robbing father
Tu 1/31 Anderson Cooper and Lisa Ling

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 2/4 Steve Martin / Prince

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 1/30 Noon Ray Romano / Zwan
11 PM Kelly Ripa / OutKast
2 AM Bob Saget / TLC
Tu 1/31 Noon Seann William Scott / Sum 41
11 PM Liam Neeson / Modest Mouse
2 AM Alec Baldwin / Tori Amos
We 2/1 Noon Jennifer Aniston / Sting
11 PM Andy Roddick / Dave Matthews with Trey Anastasio
2 AM Dylan McDermott / Foo Fighters
Th 2/2 Noon Josh Hartnett / Pink
11 PM Tom Brady / Beck
2 AM Helen Hunt / Hanson
Fr 2/3 Noon Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
11 PM Al Sharpton / Pink
2 AM The Best of Steve Martin


THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/30 The stories that you never saw on TV! Your favorite
contestants from "Top Model: Cycle 5" share shocking secrets from
their past. Meet Kim's girlfriend for the first time and hear how she
felt seeing Kim's steamy kiss on the show. Sarah talks about her
battle with severe depression, and Ebony exposes the truth about her
painful childhood. Plus, Tyra surprises Coryn with an emotional
reunion with her long lost father.
Tu 1/31 Today Tyra's Mama is everybody's mama! Thousands of you wrote
in asking for help from Tyra's mom, Carolyn, and she's here to answer
your pleas. Carolyn takes a woman on a speed dating session to help
her meet new guys after a horrible breakup and she helps a guest find
the confidence needed to ask his close friend out on a date. Then she
gives a nervous mom advice on how to talk to her young daughter about
the birds and the bees. Plus, learn Carolyn's secret romantic weapon �
a delicious meal that can be prepared in minutes!
We 2/1 Tyra takes three lucky women on the trip of a lifetime to
Paris, France! Tyra surprises three women with a new beginning after
overcoming adversity in their lives. After serving in Iraq with her
two sisters, Charity Witmer made headlines when her twin was killed in
the line of duty only two weeks before she was scheduled to return
home. Keisha needs to move beyond the abuse she suffered as a foster
child, and Emily needs a fresh start after courageously calling off
her wedding at the last minute. Join them as they experience the magic
of Paris firsthand with a tour that includes a trip to Tyra's first
apartment as a model, a flea market shopping spree and a glamorous
couture makeover followed by front-row seats at a fashion show!
Th 2/2 Tyra shows you how to save more than $10,000�in one hour! Go on
a shopping spree with Tyra, the self-proclaimed "Queen of Cheap," at
her favorite warehouse store. Then, see a dramatic "Design on a Dime"
room makeover and get front row seats at a fashion show where the
outfits are less than $100! Plus, learn Tyra's own cheap tips and get
advice from a financial expert on how to pinch your pennies every day.
Fr 2/3 A story ripped from the headlines! Don't miss Tyra's sit-down
interview with Lisa Clark, the Georgia woman who fell in love with her
son's 14 year-old friend and married him when he was only 15. In her
first talk show appearance, Lisa tells her shocking story while joined
by her two teen sons. Now nearly eight months pregnant by her teen
husband, Lisa explains how she fell in love with someone so young.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
January 23, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

There's tons more I left out of this week's newsletter from TCA in
Pasadena. So drop by TVBarn.com all week for updates.

***

"WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD": JUST SHOW IT
Whether you believe the conspiracy theory or not, ABC's never-seen
reality series is more relevant than ever, and should be aired.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/just_show_it.html

NBC: PAGE A-2 VERSION
"The West Wing" is history.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/nbc_the_a2_vers.html

THE WEST WING-COMMANDER IN CHIEF SIMILARITIES TOPIC
Of course, only one's been cancelled.  (For now.)
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/the_west_wingco.html

TOO HORRIBLE EVEN FOR SHOWTIME
There's been some chatter at tvbarn2 about the "Masters of Horror"
episode that was cancelled by the network.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/too_horrible_ev.html

Links to the whole week's archives:
Week 2: http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/week3/index.html
Week 1: http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/week2/index.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2000 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

January 24: In 1990, on a Very Special Episode of "Growing Pains,"
Maggie and Jason Seaver fight over parenting styles after son Ben asks
permission to get his ear pierced. By the end of the episode, everyone
has learned an Important Lesson.

January 25: in 1974, the "Brady Bunch" writers completely run out of
ideas and decide in the episode "Welcome Aboard" to introduce the
jinxed Cousin Oliver, played by Robbie Rist. By the end of the
episode, everyone's throwing pies.

January 26: in 1979, society ends as we know it with the series debut
of that awful moral sewer known as "The Dukes Of Hazzard." In the
pilot episode, "One Armed Bandit," them Duke boys (Lukas and
Beauregard) hijack Boss Hogg's shipment of illegal slot machines.

January 27: in 1993, on "Melrose Place," Alison Parker gets promoted
at D&D Advertising and meets her new boss ... Amanda Woodward, played
by guest star Heather Locklear, who will eventually make 127
appearances and become a regular on the series.

January 28: in 1956, on "The Honeymooners," Ralph Kramden is picked as
a contestant for "The $99,000.00 Answer." Asked who is the composer of
"Swanee River," all Kramden can come up with is "Ed Norton?" And yes,
that's his final answer.

January 29: in 1971, "The Partridge Family" mistakenly gets booked at
the "Soul Club." Owners Richard Pryor and Louis Gossett, Jr. are
depending on the turnout for their show to save their business, but
"the Family" plays to an audience of one. The gang throws a block
party, and Keith sings, "It's sort of an Afro thing." Racially
harmonic mayhem ensues.

January 30: In 1982, Andy Kaufman makes his ninth "Saturday Night
Live" appearance, this time as Elvis, performing a song, clucking,
asking women to wrestle him, and ultimately apologizing.


***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)


LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 1/23: Anthony Hopkins
Tu 1/24: Bernie Mac, Beth Orton
We 1/25: Mischa Barton, Jeff Altman, Wicked Wisdom
Th 1/26: Dr. Phil McGraw, Bill Scheft (R 12/16/05)
Fr 1/27: Pierce Brosnan, Marv Albert (R 1/4/06)

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 1/23: Jennifer Lopez, James Carville, Ladysmith Black Mambazo with
Sarah McLachlan
Tu 1/24: Jamie Foxx, U.S. Freestyle Aerials Team
We 1/25: Nickel Creek
Th 1/26: Jake Gyllenhaal, Steve Irwin, Seether
Fr 1/27: Joaquin Phoenix, Jo Koy, Alanis Morissette
Mo 1/30: Dominic Monaghan, Dennis Rodman, P.O.D.
Tu 1/31: Harrison Ford, Bryce Dallas Howard, Juanes
We 2/1: Snoop Dogg, Ron White
Th 2/2: Roseanne Barr, Sue Johanson, Sergio Mendes featuring will.i.am
Fr 2/3: Jarod Miller, Collective Soul

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 1/23: Steven Wright, Lola Glaudini, Anthony Hamilton (R 1/13/06)
Tu 1/24: Tom Selleck, Connie Britton, Ian Edwards (R 1/12/06)
We 1/25: Dr. Phil McGraw, weather correspondent Dave Price, Sebastian
Maniscalco (R 1/10/06)
Th 1/26: Daryl Hannah, Thomas Lennon, Iron and Wine with Calexico (R
1/6/06)
Fr 1/27: Don Rickles, Ivana Milicevic, Aimee Mann (R 1/5/06)
Mo 1/30: Emma Thompson, Steve Byrne
Tu 1/31: Eddie Izzard, Piper Perabo
We 2/1: Lynn Redgrave, Mute Math
Th 2/2: Jean Reno

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 1/23: Anthony Hopkins, Caroline Rhea, Mick Foley (R 9/14/05)
Tu 1/24: Marty Stuart
We 1/25: Bernie Mac, James Carville, Yellowcard
Th 1/26: Emma Thompson, Norah Vincent
Fr 1/27: Steve Carell, Lewis Taylor
Mo 1/30: Sacha Baron Cohen, Liev Schrieber, Jim Gaffigan (R 9/15/05)
Tu 1/31: Broken Social Scene
We 2/1: Meredith Vieira, Jim Gaffigan
Th 2/2: Bette Midler
Fr 2/3: Sarah Vowell
Mo 2/6: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab for Cutie (R 9/28/05)
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, K.T. Tunstall
We 2/8: Sigur Ros
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan, Aimee Mann
Fr 2/10: Graham Bensinger

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 1/23: Seth Meyers, Amos Lee, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (R 1/10/06)
Tu 1/24: Nadine Velazquez, the Constantines, Joe Firstman (house band
for the week)
We 1/25: Jordana Brewster, Ying Yang Twins
Th 1/26: Donald Faison, Fort Minor
Fr 1/27: Forrest Whitaker, Jasper Redd, Switchfoot

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 1/23: Fred Barnes
Tu 1/24: Reza Aslan
We 1/25: Anthony Hopkins
Th 1/26: Bernard-Henri Levy

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 1/23: David Gregory
Tu 1/24: Robin Givhan
We 1/25: Norah Vincent
Th 1/26: Paul Begala

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 1/23: David Gest, Forest Whitaker, Feist
Tu 1/24: Regis Philbin, Jordana Brewster, She Wants Revenge
We 1/25: Mike Epps
Th 1/26: Rerun TBA
Fr 1/27: Martin Lawrence

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 1/23: Sean Astin
Tu 1/24: Mark-Paul Gosselaar
We 1/25: Anthony Hopkins, Daniel Dae Kim
Th 1/26: Rhea Perlman, Chastity Bono, Tempestt Bledsoe
Fr 1/27: Angela Lansbury, Emma Thompson, Joy Bauer
Mo 1/30: The show's most outrageous moments
Tu 1/31: The co-hosts then and now
We 2/1: Favorite celebrity moments
Th 2/2: The 2,000th episode with Regis Philbin, Tom Selleck

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 1/23: Miss America Jennifer Berry, Barney, "Dancing With The Stars"
cast-off Tia Carrere, guest co-host Sam Champion
Tu 1/24: Anthony Hopkins, Natasha Bedingfield, guest co-host D.L. Hughley
We 1/25: Emma Thompson, Il Divo, guest co-host Bernie Mac
Th 1/26: Enya, Claudia Cohen, guest co-host John O'Hurley
Fr 1/27: Jamie Foxx, Peter Gros (R 10/31/05)
Mo 1/30: Kristin Cavallari, the latest "Dancing With The Stars" cast-off
Tu 1/31: Meredith Vieira, Randy Jackson
We 2/1: Jeff Probst
Th 2/2: Bette Midler, the "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" Fab Five
Fr 2/3: Sean Paul
Mo 2/6: Roseanne, the latest "Dancing With The Stars" cast-off
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, Rachel Bilson
We 2/8: "Live's Wedding Week 2006" continues
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan
Fr 2/10: "Live's Wedding Week" concludes with the marriage ceremony of
the 2006 wedding couple

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/23: Colin Firth, Jenna Elfman
Tu 1/24: Alicia Silverstone, Shemar Moore
We 1/25: Martin Lawrence, Fred Savage, Ladysmith Black Mambazo with
Sarah McLachlan
Th 1/26: Allison Janney, Sherri Shepherd
Fr 1/27: Emma Thompson, Blair Underwood, Heather Headley
Mo 1/30: Jon Cryer, Jennifer Esposito, Westminster Kennel Club dogs
Tu 1/31: Michael Buble
We 2/1: Jason Mraz, 5-year-old trumpeter Geoffrey Gallante
Th 2/2: Teri Hatcher, Paul Bettany

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/23: Elizabeth Rohm, Paul Johansson, Jorge Cruise
Tu 1/24: Chazz Palminteri, "Dancing With The Stars" cast-off Tia
Carrere, Mike Ditka
We 1/25: Jo Frost, Natasha Bedingfield, Tamar Elhayani
Th 1/26: Olympia Dukakis, Judge Marilyn Milian
Fr 1/27: Rhea Perlman, Dr. Judith Orloff

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 1/23 "African American Lives"
HENRY LOUIS GATES, JR., Harvard University
DR. MAE JEMISON, Former Astronaut

DAVID BRENNER, WASSITUYOU?
Mo 1/23 Visiting NY
Tu 1/24 Visiting LA
We 1/25 Noticing the difference between New York and L.A.
Th 1/26 Making notes about the comedic properties of the airplane flight
Fr 1/27 Enveiling hilarious new material to a crowd of tens.

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 1/23 If you've got it, flaunt it! Dr. Phil's guests say they've
gone from ugly ducklings to hot tamales, but their loved ones think
they've gone too far. Audrey says she looks extra hot now that she's
62 ... and she's got a 28-year-old boyfriend to prove it! Her close
friend, Crystal, thinks Audrey should hang up her miniskirts and start
baking cookies. Then, Bobbie lost 140 pounds and gained an insanely
jealous husband who thinks she looks way too sexy. What do the cameras
reveal when they follow Bobbie for a night on the town. Plus, a winner
of the popular makeover show The Swan says she doesn't know how to
handle her newfound beauty.
Tu 1/24 Dr. Phil's guests scream, punch, fight and even eat � all
while they're sleeping. They suffer from nightmares, sleep terrors and
other disorders that are destroying their lives. Scott's sleepwalking
and sleep terrors have gotten so dangerous that he has attempted to
smother his wife, Heather, with a pillow, has walked outside shirtless
in freezing weather, and has even kicked Heather in the stomach when
she was pregnant. His wife is not only concerned for her safety, but
the safety of their two small kids as well. Then, Nathalie has been
plagued by the same gruesome nightmare for 20 years, and worries that
she's losing her sanity. What's behind these recurring dreams? Plus,
Angela has been eating in her sleep for the past 15 years. She wakes
up to find chocolate on her clothes, food wrappers in her bed � even
tuna casserole on her fingers! Dr. Phil has advice for putting these
sleep disorders to bed.
We 1/25 Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre situation? Do you
think the people around you are acting unusual, and you want to know
why? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's
not. First up, Lynette doesn't think it's normal for her 78-year-old
father, Forrest, to want to be a country music star. Forrest feels
like his daughter is discriminating against him because he's old.
Then, Suzie says her husband, Steve, won't get rid of the family dog
-- even though it recently bit their baby girl in the face, and she
had to be rushed to the hospital! Steve wants to know if he's crazy
for wanting the dog back in the house. Plus, a guest says she's able
to see into the future and wants to know if she should alert her
friends to the visions she has about them.
Th 1/26 You've heard the saying "When the going gets tough, the tough
go shopping." But what happens when you're $80,000 in debt and still
spending $7,000 a week? When Michael and Bridgette were last on the
show, her shopping was an addiction that was destroying their family.
Dr. Phil discovered that her excessive spending was just a symptom of
a serious problem. Bridgette confessed that she was in a loveless,
sexless marriage with a rage-a-holic whose anger affected the entire
family. Can Michael get his rage under control and stop passing his
anger onto their three children? And can this family in crisis be saved?
Fr 1/27 Dr. Phil's guests are drowning in debt. It's tearing one
marriage apart and causing a single mom to think about filing for
bankruptcy. First, Deborah says she was raised with wealth and
privilege, and she didn't expect to be flat broke and living in a
trailer when she married Chris. Chris works 12 hours a day, but they
can't even pay their monthly bills. Is Chris not demanding enough from
himself, or is Deborah too demanding? Also, find out the secret
Deborah's been keeping from her family back in England. Then, Kristine
is a school teacher and single mom who treats her friends to dinner
and goes on expensive vacations even though she is over her head in
debt -- to the tune of $137,000! Her sister, Stefanie, says she's
tired of bailing Kristine out when she can't pay the bills, and thinks
it's time for an intervention. Plus, a financial expert shares her
advice for avoiding bankruptcy.

ISAAC, Style
Mo 1/23 Nia Long, author and hair colorist to the stars Kathleen
Flynn-Hui, and wardrobe-to-go with Laura Begley from Travel & Leisure
magazine.
Tu 1/24 Carla Gugino, The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and
numerologist Glynis McCants.
We 1/25 Andie MacDowell, Betsey Johnson, and celebrity chef Todd English.
Th 1/26 Hope Davis, Finola Hughes, and Isaac shops for cars with
Veronica Webb.
Fr 1/27 Bo Bice, Shannon Elizabeth, and Estee Lauder model Liya

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/23 Actor Harry Hamlin (Veronica Mars) helps Martha kick off Fit
to Eat and Homekeeping Week when Martha teaches him how to make some
of her favorite healthy breakfasts and light lunches. Then, we all
have to do it--organize our medicine chests--Martha tells you what you
should keep and what you should toss. And, Brent Ridge, M.D.,
Editorial Adviser for Body + Soul magazine, helps a viewer overcome
her struggle to get healthy and lose weight with a plan you can adopt
yourself.
Tu 1/24 Singer Cyndi Lauper chats and performs her classic, "Time
After Time," and a new song. Then, Martha teaches you how to stock and
organize your pantry as part of our Fit to Eat and Homekeeping Week.
Dawna Stone, The Apprentice: Martha Stewart winner, makes a healthy
chickpea soup recipe from Body + Soul magazine. Plus, impress that
special someone with an especially easy trick from Martha Stewart
Living: Flowers wrapped in a poem.
We 1/25 John Driscoll (Guiding Light) joins Martha for a revealing
hour; hear soap secrets--such as what really happens under the covers.
Then, Martha reveals some of her own secrets. And, chef Shea Gallante,
of the New York City restaurant CRU, teaches you a top-secret recipe:
Tuna Tartare and Red Apple Vinaigrette. And, singer Linda Eder
performs "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Plus, learn how to iron a shirt
properly.
Th 1/26 Actress Kimberly Williams-Paisley (According to Jim, Father of
the Bride) cooks up a healthy pasta dish and prepares Beet, Endive,
and Orange Salad. Learn how to organize your life electronically with
Contributing Editor Suzanne Kantra, of Popular Science magazine,
shows: Transfer all of your precious memories from VHS to DVD, turn
your paperwork into digital files, and sync your calendar with
friends, family, and colleagues. And, now is the time to start
planning your spring garden; Martha shows you how to order, store, and
test the viability of seeds.
Fr 1/27 Christian Campbell (The Book of Daniel) joins Martha to talk
about his new television series. Martha celebrates Fit to Eat and
Homekeeping Week when she shows you how to organize your junk draw and
store your kitchen utensils properly. Then, sardines often get a bad
rap, now Martha dispels the myths and tells why you should include
them in your diet. Then, Martha makes Little Lemon Souffl�s from the
February issue of Martha Stewart Living, a dessert that will delight
even the most seen-it-all diners. Plus, don't miss a Good Thing for
entertaining: Chocolate-covered spoons and sugar cubes served on rose
petals.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 1/23 What should you be worried about? (part 1)
Tu 1/24 What should you be worried about? (part 2)
We 1/25 Bankrobbing dad
Th 1/26 TBA
Fr 1/27 TBA

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 1/28 Dane Cook / James Blunt (r)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 1/23 Noon Jack Black / John Mayer
11 PM Ben Affleck / Nelly
2 AM Rob Lowe / Spice Girls
Tu 1/24 Noon Joshua Jackson / 'N Sync
11 PM Snoop Dogg / Avril Lavigne
2 AM Tom Hanks / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
We 1/25 Noon Rosie O'Donnell / Whitney Houston
11 PM Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon
2 AM David Hyde Pierce / Live
Th 1/26 Noon & 11 PM Queen Latifah
2 AM John Goodman / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Fr 1/27Noon Best of Game Show Parodies
11 PM Luke Wilson / U2
2 AM Martin Lawrence / Crash Test Dummies

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 1/23 Religions scholar, author Reza Aslan / Craigslist founderCraig
Newmark
Tu 1/24 Jazz trio Soulive
We 1/25 Martin Lawrence
Th 1/26 South African Constitutional Court Justice Albie Sachs
Fr 1/27 Author Peter Guralnick / actress, singer Heather Headley

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 1/23 Ne-Yo says 'hel-lo'--and drops a 'Sick' premiere; and we check
in on Teddy Geiger making his video!
Tu 1/24 TRL's 'Gieger' counter goes off the charts with Teddy's brand
new video.
We 1/25 Mischa Barton gets us ready for all the new OC action, while
Tyrese laces up for Annapolis.
Th 1/26 Will the countdown stay in 'Bat Country'--or will Ashlee's
'L.O.V.E.' rule the day?
Fr 1/27 Time for a little break--have a nice weekend and see you on
Monday!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/23 "Men Who Love Divas" Why do the prima donnas always seem to
get the guys? Headline-making Omarosa from "The Apprentice," joins
Tyra to give insight into why men love divas! The reality TV star even
stages a "diva intervention" to teach women how to channel her
inner-Omarosa. Plus, men bring their dogs on the show, proving that
men really do love bitches!
Tu 1/24 "Love the New Look, Hate the New You" Would a dramatic
makeover alter your entire personality? Tyra talks with women who have
undergone extreme physical transformations, which have negatively
affected their relationships. A man says he can't handle his wife's
cocky attitude since her "Extreme Makeover," a woman complains that
her cousin's ego increased as much as her bra size after getting
implants, and a guest who had gastric bypass surgery is reunited with
a man who cruelly teased her about her weight. Plus, a woman who lost
more than 300 pounds receives a life-changing "Makeover for Life!"
We 1/25 "I Want You Back'" Would you take back an ex who cheated on
you? Guests ask Tyra to help them restore the trust and win back the
mates they cheated on! A woman begs for her husband's forgiveness
after cheating with four of his friends while he was overseas in Iraq,
and a women who dumped her first love now wants him back. Plus, Tyra
says "He's a Keeper" when she introduces an eligible music exec to all
of her single viewers!
Th 1/26 "Tyra's Model Hunt" What would you do if Tyra Banks hooked you
up with a modeling contract? Tyra hits the streets to discover fresh
faces in everyday places! One young man is shocked when Tyra shows up
at the donut shop where he works and tells him he's booked for a
runway show during L.A. Fashion Week. Plus, Tyra takes to the streets
to surprise potential models with professional high-fashion photo
shoots to begin building their portfolios.
Fr 1/27 "The Sisterhood" Tyra unites to combat the seven deadly sins
of sisterhood. Meet women who were motivated by Tyra's on-air
reconciliation with Naomi Campbell after 14 years of feuding, and now
want to join the sisterhood movement. A woman seeks forgiveness after
dating her best friend's boyfriend, and the University of Baylor
volleyball team admits that a lack of sisterhood is holding them back
from becoming champions. Plus, join Tyra and her friends as they talk
openly and honestly about their own experiences with the sins of
sisterhood.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
January 17, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


There's tons more I left out of this week's newsletter from TCA in
Pasadena.  So drop by TVBarn.com all week for updates.

***

Walter doesn't falter
And now, a few minutes with Walter Cronkite. The 89-year-old veteran
newsman still has strong views about the news, and I got some face
time to ask questions of him following his press conference to promote
"American Masters."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/walter_doesnt_f.html

Bravo, Sundance, Bravo!
There was something not quite right with this week's marking of the
10th anniversary of the Sundance Channel's anniversary.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/bravo_sundance_.html

The History Channel > PBS
Nobody knows when it happened. But at some point in the last couple of
years, the History Channel � long maligned as the Hitler Channel for
its predictable and unimaginative programs � pulled even with PBS in
ingenuity and quality.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/the_history_cha.html

Why isn't Ted on PBS?
Ted Koppel is currently wrapping up a press conference to celebrate, I
mean coronate, I mean announce his arrival at Discovery Networks.

L.A. Confidential
"Good morning, peepers, prowlers, pederasts, panty sniffers, punks,
and pimps," was our hi-hello-how-are-you on Wednesday from the
novelist and onetime Kansan James Ellroy.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/la_confidential.html

Book of Daniel, Chapter 4
Liz Stout, an Episcopalian ministerial friend of mine, wrote a review
of "The Book of Daniel," which she categorized as "Desperate
Episcopalians."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/book_of_daniel__1.html

For those who don't want their BET
If you've stumbled across TV One, the second major cable channel aimed
at African-Americans, you've probably already reached one conclusion:
This is no BET wannabe.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/for_those_who_d.html

The Weather Channel goes to hell
A little harsh, that headline. But still. Remember when cable channels
could be described in two words or less? "Weather Channel." "Headline
News."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/the_weather_cha.html

Links to the whole week's archives:
Week 2: http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/week3/index.html
Week 1: http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/week2/index.html

***

Tom Heald's (all new!) TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2006 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

January 16: In 2000, can former exes Blair Underwood and Vivica A. Fox
find love playing doctor in the "City of Angels" on CBS? At least for
23 episodes.

January 17: TELEGEBRA (1987): "Kung Fu" + "Columbo" = Pat Morita as
"Ohara." He's a quirky police lieutenant who works solo and doesn't
carry a gun, until the writers decide he's a federal agent who works
with a partner and does carry a gun, until the writers decide they're
private detectives, until the network decides they're cancelled.

January 18: In 2000, Michael J. Fox announced he'll be leaving "Spin
City": "I could not be more proud of the show ... and all that we have
accomplished over the last four years, yet I feel that right now my
time and energy would be better spent with my family and working
toward a cure for Parkinson's disease." This of course gives Charlie
Sheen time to stop searching for a cure for Parkinson's disease.

January 19: In 1957, you've loved the exploits of the team of Dean
Martin & Jerry Lewis... NBC presents for the first time on this stage
... Lewis (solo)! Hey laaaaaaaaaaaaaady!

January 20: In 1987, the gang on "Hill Street Blues" really does have
to be careful out there ... the trash is piling up in the streets due
to a garbage strike.

January 21: In 1970, the Man in Black is back as ABC gives summer
replacement success-"The Johnny Cash Show" a second shot.

January 22: In 1984, where wolf? There wolf: Jan-Michael Vincent is
Stringfellow Hawke, pilot of CBS supercopter "Airwolf.."

[Thomas Heald promises to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and this
joke was lame when "Laugh-In" was using it.]


***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 1/16: Martin Lawrence, Kari Byron, Matisyahu
Tu 1/17: Tatum O'Neal, Jeff MacGregor
We 1/18: Kate Beckinsale, Bob Saget
Th 1/19: TBA
Fr 1/20: Charles Grodin, Jordana Brewster
Mo 1/23: TBA
Tu 1/24: Bernie Mac, Beth Orton
We 1/25: Mischa Barton, Jeff Altman

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 1/16: Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Wendy Liebman,
Barry Manilow
Tu 1/17: Heath Ledger, Heidi Klum, Ray J
We 1/18: Colin Firth, Sasha Cohen, Fort Minor
Th 1/19: Albert Brooks, Jenna Elfman, Mary J. Blige
Fr 1/20: Dennis Miller, Bob Uecker, Heather Headley
Mo 1/23: Ladysmith Black Mambazo with Sarah McLachlan
Tu 1/24: Jamie Foxx, Emily Deschanel
We 1/25: Jason Lee, Nickel Creek

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 1/16: Allison Janney, John C. McGinley, the 88
Tu 1/17: Greg Kinnear, Paula Poundstone, Ming Tsai
We 1/18: Thomas Cavanagh, Sebastian Maniscalco
Th 1/19: Vanessa Williams, Col. Matthew Bogdanos, Rogue Wave
Fr 1/20: Mimi Rogers, Living Things

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 1/16: Elijah Wood, Michael Rappaport, Brian Regan (R)
Tu 1/17: Martin Lawrence, Eliza Dushku, Soweto Gospel Choir
We 1/18: Josh Lucas, Tegan & Sara
Th 1/19: Kate Beckinsale, Brian Posehn
Fr 1/20: Clyde Peeling, Nia Long
Mo 1/23: Anthony Hopkins, Caroline Rhea, Mick Foley (R 9/14/05)
Tu 1/24: Marty Stuart
We 1/25: Bernie Mac, Yellowcard
Th 1/26: Emma Thompson
Fr 1/27: Steve Carell, Lewis Taylor
Mo 1/30: Sacha Baron Cohen, Liev Schrieber, Jim Gaffigan (R 9/15/05)
Tu 1/31: Broken Social Scene
We 2/1: Meredith Vieira, Jim Gaffigan
Th 2/2: Bette Midler
Fr 2/3: Sarah Vowell
Mo 2/6: Martha Stewart, Big Show, Death Cab for Cutie (R)
Tu 2/7: Harrison Ford, K.T. Tunstall
We 2/8: Sigur Ros
Th 2/9: Nicolette Sheridan, Aimee Mann
Fr 2/10: Graham Bensinger

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 1/16: Eve, Ariel Gade, the Bravery, Joe Firstman (house band for
the week)
Tu 1/17: Seth Green, We Are Scientists
We 1/18: Joe Rogan
Th 1/19: Mekhi Phifer, Natasha Bedingfield
Fr 1/20: Cheryl Hines, Jay Hernandez, Mike Young, Panic! At the Disco
Mo 1/23: Joe Firstman (house band for the week)
Tu 1/24: Nadine Velazquez, the Constantines
We 1/25: Donald Faison
Th 1/26: Jordana Brewster, Ying Yang Twins
Fr 1/27: Switchfoot

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 1/16: Eugene Jarecki
Tu 1/17: L. Paul Bremer
We 1/18: R. James Woolsey
Th 1/19: Josh Lucas
Mo 1/23: Fred Barnes
Tu 1/24: TBA
We 1/25: Anthony Hopkins
Th 1/26: Bernard-Henri Levy

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 1/16: George Stephanopoulos
Tu 1/17: Andrew Sullivan
We 1/18: Frank McCourt
Th 1/19: Nina Totenberg

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 1/16: John Mayer Trio, Steve-O
Tu 1/17: Michael Chiklis, Roselyn Sanchez, Bo Bice
We 1/18: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Chamillionaire featuring Lil Flip
Th 1/19: Dominic Monaghan, Nick Swardson, Lil' Wayne (R 1/9/06)
Fr 1/20: Method Man, Motion City Soundtrack

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 1/16: Marcia Cross, Alexander Smalls, guest co-host Chandra Wilson
Tu 1/17: Natasha Richardson, Mario Cantone, Dr. Steven Pratt
We 1/18: Kate Beckinsale, Suzanne Wright
Th 1/19: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Cyndi Lauper
Fr 1/20: Aidan Quinn, Lisa Loeb
Mo 1/23: TBA
Tu 1/24: TBA
We 1/25: Anthony Hopkins
Th 1/26: TBA
Fr 1/27: Angela Lansbury, Emma Thompson

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 1/16: Terrence Howard, Chad Michael Murray, the latest "Dancing
With The Stars" cast-off
Tu 1/17: Martin Lawrence, Jason Priestley
We 1/18: Josh Lucas, S. Epatha Merkerson
Th 1/19: Rose McGowan
Fr 1/20: Guest co-host Jeff Gordon

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/16: Kanye West, Anne Hathaway
Tu 1/17: Paula Abdul, Common, Jon Kelley
We 1/18: Matthew Fox, Linda Cardellini, Cy and Angie Hirsche
Th 1/19: Pierce Brosnan, Q'orianka Kilcher, Heidi Klum
Fr 1/20: James Denton, Constance Marie, 5-year-old trumpeter Geoffrey
Gallante
Mo 1/23: Colin Firth, Jenna Elfman
Tu 1/24: Alicia Silverstone
We 1/25: Martin Lawrence, Fred Savage, Ladysmith Black Mambazo with
Sarah McLachlan
Th 1/26: Sherri Shepherd, Heather Headley
Fr 1/27: Emma Thompson, Blair Underwood

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/16: Joan Rivers, Kathy Ireland, Edward Xol
Tu 1/17: Tony Shalhoub, Judy Greer, Paul Teutul Sr., Paul Teutul Jr.
and Mike Campo
We 1/18: Vanessa Williams, Mike Rowe
Th 1/19: Kyle MacLachlan, Carol Kane, Judge Marilyn Milian
Fr 1/20: Rachel Hunter, Fran Drescher

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Not available

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 1/16 They're newlyweds, married only a short time, and already
they're headed for divorce court. First, Michelle says she's not the
only woman in her marriage. Her husband, Matthew, has many female
friends whom she has never met. Should he give them up or did she make
a promise she can't keep? Then, when Marlon and Shamika first appeared
on the show, they were eight months newly wed and were on the verge of
becoming newly divorced because of their constant fighting. Did they
put Dr. Phil's advice to work and have things changed?
Tu 1/17 Does your child rage, scream and kick doors? Is his or her
behavior the typical brattiness of a spoiled child, or involuntary
behavior beyond the child's control? Dr. Phil sheds light on a pair of
widely misunderstood extreme neurological disorders. First, he looks
at Asperger's syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism which causes
a person to lack control over his or her emotions, including anger.
Rich and Karen's 15-year-old son, Alex, was diagnosed with Asperger's
at age 6. His sudden fits of rage and erratic behavior have put a
strain on his whole family. Should his parents be afraid of Alex, or
is there something they can do to bring his behavior under control?
Plus, Craig, 37, can't control his physical tics, nor can he keep from
constantly uttering obscenities, literally hundreds of times a day.
Craig suffers from Tourette syndrome, an affliction that's gotten so
bad, he won't go into grocery stores, movie theatres or any public
place for fear he'll be kicked out. What will the disorder mean for
his plans to start a family?
We 1/18 Receiving an inheritance is sometimes more trouble than it's
worth. Eighty-four-year-old Aileen inherited a 2,000-acre farm after
her husband died. And when Aileen dies, she"ll pass the farm down to
her daughter. But is her granddaughter, Amber, jumping the gun by
wanting her mother's name on the title now? Should Aileen sign over
the farm to her daughter before she dies? Then, Tracy's 19-year-old
son, Mark, came into a sizable inheritance when his father passed
away. She thought the money was theirs to share, but says Mark's been
blowing his fortune away while hanging with his best friend. She wants
to protect her son, but can they reach an agreement without an ugly
court battle?
Th 1/19 Dr. Phil revisits some of his most amazing stories of the
season. First, Tim and Anne Marie were desperate to save their mother,
Sylvia, who was constantly talking to the voices in her head. After 10
weeks of treatment, see the inspirational turn Sylvia has taken. What
will she say when she meets Dr. Phil face to face? Then, just over a
month ago, two women told Dr. Phil how they fell victim to alleged con
man and bigamist Ed Hicks. See how their story helped another woman
and brought Hicks into police custody. Plus, 18-year-old Natalee
Holloway disappeared last May during a senior class trip to the island
of Aruba. Dr. Phil is joined by Natalee's mother, Beth, her lawyer,
and a consultant to the Aruban government who defends the work of the
investigators. Have there been new revelations since the last time
Beth appeared on the show? Could rescuers be on the brink of finding
the missing teen?
Fr 1/20 TBA

ECONOMICS CLASS, FBDO
Mo 1/16 Adams, Adamly
Tu 1/17 Adamowlsky, Adamson
We 1/18 Adler, Anderson
Th 1/19 Bueller
Fr 1/20 Frye

ISAAC, Style
Mo 1/16 Hope Davis, Finola Hughes, and Isaac shops for cars with
Veronica Webb.
Tu 1/17 Keira Knightley, Dolly Parton, and "Break-Up Bounceback" ideas
with Dannielle Romano of DailyCandy.com.
We 1/18 Rob Morrow, violinist Joshua Bell, and "How to Wear It" with
editor-in-chief of Marie Claire magazine, Lesley Jane Seymour.
Th 1/19 Author and comedian Chelsea Handler, Wynonna Judd, and
cosmetic quick fixes with celebrity make-up artist Mally Roncal.
Fr 1/20 Cynthia Nixon, actress Ivana Milicevic, bike fitness with
Lance Armstrong's trainer Chris Carmichael, and make-up tips with
celebrity make-up artist Mally Roncal.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/16 Martha teaches Days of Our Lives star Alison Sweeney how to
make adorable birthday favors for kids. Martha and 9-year-old Ryan
Terhune make German Apple Pancakes that your young ones will enjoy
making on your day off. Learn a quick trick that will guarantee your
serving beautiful drinks at your next party. Organize your
mudroom--one of the tasks on Martha's calendar this month. Plus, don't
miss a vintage Martha clip.
Tu 1/17 Oscar-winner Susan Sarandon chats with Martha about the Heifer
Project International, answers questions from audience members, and
customizes dishes using a simple technique. Martha makes a special
delivery to David Letterman, host of The Late Show. Renowned chef Rick
Bayless prepares a spicy treat: Red Chile Seafood Soup. And, enjoy
another vintage clip as Martha celebrates 15 years of Living.
We 1/18 Alan Cumming
Th 1/19 Actress Nia Long stops by to talk about her new movie, Big
Mama's House 2. Martha's friend Marc Morrone, host of Petkeeping with
Marc Morrone shows us how to winterize our pets. And, chef Marc Meyer
makes gourmet relish to embellish any dish. Plus, Martha reveals
another one of her favorite Good Things from years past and offers a
vintage clip you won't want to miss.
Fr 1/20 What are Martha's all-time favorites? Find out as she tells us
some of her most delicious recipes, creative crafts, and innovative
Good Things from the past. With some good wishes from her celebrity
friends, loyal fans, and family, Martha celebrates 15 years of Martha
Stewart Living magazine in a very special episode of Martha.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 1/16 It's the story Oprah has never told before. She followed him
around for an entire night and has not seen him since...Now, he's
here! Then, Hollywood's $6 billion man. The side of Samuel L. Jackson
you don't know. Plus, the love of his life. Also, the truth behind
Oprah's "mid-air scare." And, a special announcement...something we've
never done before!
Tu 1/17 At 5 years old, a young girl was bound, starved and raped. She
was adopted by a pedophile and made his sex slave. Plus, a dark twist
and a sick secret. Then, another accused child molester captured and a
$100,000 reward! These young men say they knew the horror first-hand.
And, who turned him in?
We 1/18 Her husband's bloody disappearance. The honeymoon cruise ship
mystery. Now, the bride speaks out and new witnesses come forward.
And, for the first time, the president of the cruise line goes
face-to-face with the bride. What you haven't heard.
Th 1/19 She's done thousands of shows on thousands of topics. This
time, Oprah has no idea what we're talking about, and 84 percent of
the audience is clueless too! You'll feel smarter after this
show...Oprah knows she does! And, three ways to get the most out of
your money.
Fr 1/20 A former child star reveals her biggest mistake. Then, parents
who hired a stripper for their son's 16th birthday...but that was just
the beginning.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 1/21 Peter Sarsgaard, The Strokes

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Tu 1/17 11 PM Johnny Knoxville / System Of A Down
2 AM Jeff Daniels / Luscious Jackson
We 1/18 Noon Adrien Brody / Sean Paul, Wayne Wonder
1 PM Paris Hilton /Keane
2 PM Johnny Knoxville / System Of A Down
11 PM Donald Trump / Toots & The Maytals
2 AM Marisa Tomei / Bonnie Raitt
Th 1/19 Noon Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
11 PM Lindsay Lohan / Usher
2 AM David Duchovny / Rod Stewart
Fr 1/20 Noon & 11 PM Paul Giamatti / Ludacris
2 AM Justine Bateman / Terrance Trent D'Arby

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 1/16 Tracey Bregman ("The Young and the Restless") catches up with
Lisa and Ty. Plus, New Year, New You: Must haves for the New Year with
Laurence Zarian. Also, Inside Soaps: Mimi Torchin ("Soap Opera
Weekly") and Michael Bruno ("I Wanna Be A Soap Star") look at what's
coming up on your favorite soap in 2006.
Tu 1/17 Nancy Lee Grahn ("General Hospital") and Michael Graziadei
("The Young and the Restless") drop by. Plus, Learn Easy Ways to Add
More fiber To Your Diet with Amy Hendel and Three Time Grammy Winner
Lari White sings.
We 1/18 Laura Write ("General Hospital") talks about being the newest
Carly. Plus, Ion Overman (formerly of "Port Charles") discusses her
new show "Love, Inc." Also, Winter Weekend Getaway Fashions with
Keylee Sanders.
Th 1/19 Rachel Ames ("General Hospital") and Josh Cooke ("Committed")
drop by the set. Soap Scents: How to find the perfect perfume worn by
your favorite soap stars, and an inside look at Sonny's new home with
"General Hospital's" set decorator Jennifer Elliot. [11:00 a.m. only]
Fr 1/20 Heather Tom ("One Life to Live") and Lauren Woodland ("The
Young & the Restless") are interviewed. Plus, The Cereal Gourmet,
David Hoffman, shares gourmet meals you can make with cereal. Also The
Soap Talk Matching Game with soap stars.

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 1/16 Stanford historian Dr. Clayborne Carson reflects on the
humanization of Dr. Martin Luther King. Yolanda King discusses the
family dispute over her father's memorial and her new book.
Tu 1/17 Tavis talks with Dr. Martin Luther King's biographer Taylor
Branch.
We 1/18 Tavis talks with singer, songwriter and producer Anthony Hamilton.
Th 1/19 Tavis talks with National Urban League president Marc Morial
and author Barbara Stanny.
Fr 1/20 Tavis talks with Chris Mooney, Washington correspondent for
Seed magazine, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbate, one of the stars of ABC's
phenom hit, Lost.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 1/16 Don't forget to tune in tomorrow for Spankin' New Week!
Tu 1/17 Spankin' New Music Week Rocks kicks off with Avenged
Sevenfold, The Academy Is, Panic at the Disco and more!
We 1/18 'Underworld: Evolution' stars share the stage with
All-American Rejects--as house band Yellowcard tears it up.
Th 1/19 Q: What has Coheed and Cambria performing, Fall Out Boy
hanging out and a P.O.D. premiere? A: Today's TRL!
Fr 1/20 Got earplugs? P.O.D. performs--and Hellogoodbye drops by with
a Pre-RL

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/16 Imagine having a nutritionist, personal trainer, lifestyle
coach and stylist to motivate you to lose weight! Now you do because
Tyra and Special K have teamed up to help women across America
accomplish weight-related goals and discover that "the prize is
inside." And meet the four women who will have their progress tracked
on the show as they receive the ultimate "Makeover for Life." Plus,
find out how you can participate at home! And meet Kelly LeBrock,
Chastity Bono, Countess Vaughn and Ant from VH1's "Celebrity Fit Club"
and learn their tips for looking great!
Tu 1/17 It's "America's Next Top Model" as you've never seen it! Your
favorite contestants open up with psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow about
shocking secrets from their lives. Sarah and Kim from cycle five
reveal the truth about their relationship, and Tiffany from cycles
three and four talks openly about her fears that her violent past will
affect her future.
We 1/18 Actor and funnyman Seth Green shares stories from the set of
his new hit TV show, "Four Kings," and Tyra meets Matt and Suzy, the
couple making headlines after falling in love on "The Biggest Loser:
Season Two." Plus, real women from "The Biggest Loser" online club
talk about how they were inspired by the show to lose hundreds of
pounds, and meet the two engaged couples competing for $50,000 on "The
Biggest Loser: Special Edition."
Th 1/19 Are you keeping anything from the people closest to you? Tyra
helps guests reveal secrets about themselves to their family and
friends. A woman admits to her best friend that she wasn't born a
"rich girl" and how she funds her expensive lifestyle! A guy confesses
to his girlfriend that the glamorous life he leads is really a lie.
And a man meets his online girlfriend for the first time and finds out
her darkest secret!
Fr 1/20 What do you want to change about your appearance? Tyra helps
women regain their passion for life with amazing makeovers on the
inside, as well as the outside. A woman get a sexy, burlesque-style
makeover that shocks her husband and two frazzled moms learn how to
find more time in the day. Plus, after reaching her weight loss goal,
a woman gets an amazing makeover to spice up her marriage. And a heart
transplant recipient gets a life-changing makeover to match her new
lease on life!

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
CONVERSATIONS FROM THE EDGE WITH CARRIE FISHER, Oxygen
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
January 9, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


Drop by TVBarn.com all week for updates from Pasadena!

***

THE MINERS' STORY:

SAY YOU'RE SORRY, CNN
Is CNN being repentant enough about its coverage at Sago Mine?
Is it missing a golden opportunity by not being repentant enough?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/say_youre_sorry.html

SOON, WE'LL ALL BE ANDERSON COOPERS
http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/entertainment/columnists/aaron_barnhart\
/13551948.htm

DEWEY PLAY IT UP? WE DEW!
Ed Dravecky wondered if the Kansas City Star would give our coverage
of the goofup concerning the miners' story as prominently as it did
the "12 Found Alive" story that bannered on Wednesday's editions.
Also, my Q-and-A with locally-grown talent Blair Butler, the comics
chick on "Attack of the Show."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/dewey_play_it_u.html

TV BARN PODCAST
Discussing CNN's coverage with Paul Harris and TVNewser's Brian Stelter.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/tv_barn_radio_a.html

***

"BOOK OF DANIEL" TEMPEST:

TUNE IN THIS WEEK FOR MINISTER FARRAKHAN
Reader Jeff Trout writes: I thought you might like to know that the
NBC affiliate in Joplin (Mo.) decided to air "The Book of Daniel" but,
in what was obviously a nod to the idiots who had been protesting a
show none of them had seen...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/and_this_week_m.html

HOLY FLIP-FLOP
The Wichita station that said it wasn't going to air "The Book of
Daniel" tonight has repented.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/holy_flipflop.html

"BOOK OF DANIEL," CHAPTER 3
Ken Selvaggi, the general manager of KSNT in Topeka, was nice enough
to return my phone call this afternoon. Unlike sister station KSNW in
Wichita, Selvaggi planned to air "The Book of Daniel" all along...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/book_of_daniel_.html

***

ON BROADCASTERLY COURAGE
Was Dick Clark's return the feel-good creepout of the year?
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/on_broadcasterl.html

EXTREME MAKEOVER: PRODUCT PLACEMENT EDITION
According to Nielsen Media Research, "The Contender" averaged five
hundred and one product placements per hour. And as Jack Paar used to
say about Steve Allen's song oeuvre, "Name two."
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/extreme_makeove.html

TV 2.0, BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOOGLE
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/pbs_i_cringely_.html

JANUARY TV: WHAT'S AHEAD
Todd Bridges and Nancy Kerrigan are taking part in the Fox reality
series "Skating With Celebrities" later this month.
I realize you can hardly wait to see that, but you'll just have to.
In the meantime, lots more January TV highlights are covered below.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/january_tv_what.html

***


Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 2006 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

Monday, January 10: in 1964, the U.S. version of "That
Was the Week That Was" makes its weekly debut with Henry
Morgan, Margaret Hamilton, Nancy Ames (the "TW3" girl),
a roving report from "special correspondent" Robert
Frost (who commuted between this and the BBC version)
and Berlin Wall hand ballet. Tom Lehrer, who filled an
entire album with his contributions to the show, won't
appear until June.

Tuesday, January 11: in 1995, the "Dubba Dubba
Dubba-Ya-B" network leapfrogs onto the air with "The
Wayans Bros.", "Unhappily Ever After", and the bomb
"Muscle." "Muscle's" supporting cast included Adam West,
"Caroline In the City's" Amy Pietz and two future "Spin
City" stars, Michael Boatman and Alan Ruck.

Wednesday, January 12: in 1981, very little happens on
the first episode of "Dynasty." Blake Carrington marries
his former secretary Krystle Jennings, while Krystle's
ex-lover Matthew Blaisdel gets back together with his
wife and child (who happen to be fighting) and also goes
into business with Walter Lankershim, while Jeff Colby
tries to put the moves on Fallon.

Thursday, January 13: in 1989, Rosie O'Donnell
temporarily has to get a life, when her all-time
favorite soap opera "Ryan's Hope" ends after 13 1/2
years on ABC. Matron Maeve Ryan (Helen Gallagher) sings
one last sentimental song at the tavern, the sentimental
"Danny Boy."

Friday, January 14: in 1990, society ends as we know it
with the series debut of that awful moral sewer known as
"The Simpsons." In "Bart, The Genius," our underachiever
cheats by switching papers with class brain Martin, and
winds up in classes at the Enriched Learning Center for
Gifted Children.

Sunday, January 16: in 1981, NBC looks to two famous
fictional characters to save its lineup: a single mom
and an orchid-sniffin' detective. Barbara Eden stars in
a role conjured by a Jeannie (singer Jeannie C. Reiley
with Tom T. Hall), as she plays Stella Johnson, a mother
who socked it to the "Harper Valley P.T.A." The movie
was only a mild success in theaters, but knocked 'em
dead in its television premiere and led to a TV series.
As for the detective, that was William Holden as "Nero
Wolfe" in the case of "The Golden Spiders," originally
written by Rex Stout in 1953.

[Thomas Heald is good enough, smart enough and doggonit ... people
like Oreo(tm) cookies. ]

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

NOTE: Sue's on vacation. Her lineups were last updated Jan. 4.

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 1/9: Albert Brooks
Tu 1/10: Scarlett Johansson, Imogen Heap
We 1/11: Queen Latifah, Bob Sarlatte
Th 1/12: Kiefer Sutherland, Alicia Keys
Fr 1/13: Tom Cavanagh, Jake Johannsen

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 1/9: Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane
Tu 1/10: Joaquin Phoenix, Alanis Morissette
We 1/11: Steve Carell, Anthony Hamilton
Th 1/12: Emma Thompson, Sugarland
Fr 1/13: Jake Gyllenhaal, Steve Irwin

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
no lineups available

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 1/9: John Leguizamo, John Tesh, Christy Martin (R 7/21/05)
Tu 1/10: Ron Howard, Jimmy Carr
We 1/11: LL Cool J, John Daly
Th 1/12: Emily Procter, bull rider J.W. Hart
Fr 1/13: Queen Latifah
Mo 1/16: Elijah Wood, Michael Rappaport, Brian Regan (R)
Tu 1/17: Martin Lawrence, Soweto Gospel Choir
We 1/18: TBA
Th 1/19: Kate Beckinsale

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 1/9: Marisa Coughlan, David Gray, Max & The Attack (R 11/22/05)
Tu 1/10: Seth Meyers, Amos Lee, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
We 1/11: Diane Farr, Big Boi, Joe Firstman
Th 1/12: Rulon Gardner, Sean Paul, North Mississippi Allstars
Fr 1/13: Quentin Tarantino, Mat Kearney, Joe Firstman

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
no lineups available

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
no lineups available

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 1/9: Lil' Wayne
Tu 1/10: Quentin Tarantino, golfer John Daly

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 1/9: Connie Chung, Maury Povich, Travis Strok, Sharon Rocha
Tu 1/10: Jane Curtin, Rocco DiSpirito
We 1/11: Dr. Steven Lamm
Th 1/12: Uma Thurman, guest co-host Myrka Dellanos
Fr 1/13: LL Cool J, Alicia Keys, Mehcad Brooks, Josh Lucas

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 1/9: Heather Graham, John Stamos, the first person eliminated from
the new season of "Dancing With The Stars"
Tu 1/10: Anne Hathaway, Vanessa Williams
We 1/11: Scarlett Johansson, Evangeline Lilly, Terrence Howard
Th 1/12: Queen Latifah, Emily Procter
Fr 1/13: Kiefer Sutherland, Kyle MacLachlan

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/9: Patricia Arquette, Mekhi Phifer
Tu 1/10: Michael Chiklis, Rick Springfield
We 1/11: Pierce Brosnan
Th 1/12: Billy Crystal
Fr 1/13: Greg Kinnear

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
no lineups available

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN LIVE, Wyoming
Mo 1/9 I wish I knew how to quit smoking!
Tu 1/10 Moving along the little doggies
We 1/11 Ten gallon hats on a five gallon budget
Th 1/12 The War on guys named Chris
Fr 1/13 Flannel Alert: will the level be raised from orange to red?

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 1/9 Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Security
James Risen, The New York Times, Author, "State of War: The Secret
History of the CIA and the Bush Administration"

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 1/9 Juicy Custody Battles
Tu 1/10 Pressured Into Marriage
We 1/11 Living on the Edge
Th 1/12 Racism Follow-up
Fr 1/13 Old Flames

ISAAC, Style
Mo 1/9 Sela Ward, Jaime Pressly, and ice cream recipes with Grace
Parisi from Food and Wine magazine.
Tu 1/10 Mandy Moore, Law and Order: SVU's Tamara Tunie, and "Miracle
Foods" with nutrition expert Esther Blum.
We 1/11 Elle MacPherson, Brian McKnight, and "What Your Clothes Say
About You" with Simon Doonan, creative director at Barney's.
Th 1/12 MTV's Vanessa Manillo, comedienne Judy Gold, and Isaac chats
with Madonna.
Fr 1/13 The Bachelor's Andrew Firestone, Nicky Hilton, and pasta
recipes with chef Donatella Arpaia.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/9 "Best Of..." Show: Celebrate the New Year with a trip down
memory lane as Martha walks us through some of her favorite moments on
television. This all-new Martha includes clips featuring celebrities
such as Rosie O'Donnell, Conan O'Brien, and Zach Braff. Plus, a Good
Thing for the cold weather: Ultimate Hot Chocolate.
Tu 1/10 Martha talks about her vacation and shows photos from her
travels. Emmy, Oscar, Tony, and Grammy winner Rita Moreno kicks off
Martha's Cake Week with Cardamom Streusel Coffee Cake from the January
issue of Living magazine. Cohosts of SIRIUS radio's Whatever, Alexis
Stewart and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, make a nut tart with Martha. And,
don't miss another Good Thing: Card Organizer.
We 1/11 The lovely star of stage and screen, Vanessa Williams and her
daughter Jillian Hervey help Martha make a Teatime Coconut Layer Cake,
from the January issue of Living magazine, as part of Martha's Cake
Week. Martha answers both Viewer Mail and questions from the audience.
Bird expert Milan Bull, of the Connecticut Audubon Society of
Fairfield, Connecticut, shows how to make a suet-ball bird-feeder.
And, don't miss another Good Thing: Kitchen Helper.
Th 1/12 Fran Drescher, star of the new WB comedy series Living with
Fran, joins Martha to take part in Martha's Cake Week by making a
delicious dessert from the January issue of Living magazine--The
Darkest Chocolate Crepe Cake. Julie Scardina, the SeaWorld/Busch
Gardens animal ambassador, visits with animals from nearly every
continent. And, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons drops by to show Martha
one of his favorite Good Things.
Fr 1/13 From Big Mama's House 2 and CSI: Miami, Emily Procter helps
celebrate Martha's Cake Week with a Triple-Chocolate Mousse Cake from
the January issue of Living magazine. Martha answers questions from
the studio audience and shows you how to scrapbook without the mess:
Digital Scrapbooking. Plus, don't miss another Ask Martha and a Good
Thing: Kindling Keepers.

OPRAH, Syndicated
Mo 1/9 Jay Leno Introduces Us to America's Most Amazing Kids (r)
Tu 1/10 Look Younger! Live Longer! (r)
We 1/11 The Two-Headed Baby Miracle (r)
Th 1/12 Exclusive: The Night John Kennedy Jr. Died: Carole Radziwill
on Love and Loss (r)
Fr 1/13 The Day I Found Out My Husband Was a Child Molester (r)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 1/14 Scarlett Johannsen / Death Cab for Cutie

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 1/9 Noon Teri Hatcher / Dave Matthews Band
11 PM Will Ferrell / Queens Of The Stone Age
2 AM George Clooney / The Cranberries
Tu 1/10 Noon Pierce Brosnan / Destiny's Child
11 PM Jennifer Aniston / The Black Eyed Peas
2 AM Charlize Theron / Paul Simon
We 1/11 Noon Halle Berry / Britney Spears
11 PM Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson
2 AM Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado
Th 1/12 Noon Reese Witherspoon / Alicia Keys
11 PM Hilary Swank / 50 Cent
2 AM Nathan Lane / Metallica
Fr 1/13 Noon Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
11 PM Megan Mullally / Clay Aiken
2 AM Sarah Jessica Parker / R.E.M.

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 1/9 Cameron Mathison ("All My Children") discusses the season
finale of "I Wanna Be A Soap Star." Plus, Robin Strasser ("One Life to
Live") cooks up a dish, and Mia St. John (formerly married to Kristoff
St. John) chats about her Lightweight World Champion title for boxing.
Also, The Alizma Triplets perform their Hip Hop Violin.
Tu 1/10 Brenda Strong ("Desperate Housewives") drops by. Plus, Soap
Stunt Doubles: Clay Cullen ("Days of our Lives"), Debi Mazor ("The
Young and the Restless") and Tim Davidson ("General Hospital") discuss
what it's like being stunt doubles for some famous soap stars. Also,
Ted Casablanca ("E!") reveals the truth behind Hollywood's red carpet.
We 1/11 Kassie DePaiva ("One Life to Live") sings. Plus, Amy Grabow
("General Hospital") is interviewed. Plus, What to Wear to a Wedding
with Allison Dickson, and The Lazy Husband: Dr. Joshua Coleman, shows
you how to get your husband to do more around the house.
Th 1/12 Ricardo Chavira ("Desperate Housewives") and Maeve Quinlan
("The Bold and the Beautiful") are interviewed. Plus, Daily Candy's
Danielle Romano tells you the Must Haves for Surviving The Dating
Scene, and Sell Your House: How to Get the Most Out of Your Home When
You Are Selling with Tanya Memme.
Fr 1/13 Joshua Morrow ("The Young and the Restless") challenges Ty to
an obstacle course. Plus, Michelle Phillips drops by to talk about of
"The Mamas and the Papas" reissue CD and DVD. Also, Turn Bridesmaids
Dresses into Hot, Trendy Looks with celebrity stylist Jennifer Rade.
And Peter Greenberg talks about Vacation Getaways for Desperate
Housewives.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Mo 1/9 MTV's newest reality star takes us 'There and Back,' while Ray
J hits us with some 'Raydiation.'
Tu 1/10 The one-and-only LL is in the house. What more can we say?
We 1/11 Alica Keys, Lost's Evangeline Lilly and the stars of Glory
Road? No mid-week blahs here!
Th 1/12 It's a power player summit when Nelly, Mike Jones and Daddy
Yankee hit the studio.
Fr 1/13 TRL gets the day off. Have a good weekend and we'll see you
Monday!

THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
Mo 1/9 Tavis previews '06 politics with former CNN anchor Judy
Woodruff and talks with Eric Bana, star of the new film Munich.
Tu 1/10 Tavis talks with New Orleans Times-Picayune editor Jim Amoss
and actor Derek Luke, star of Glory Road.
We 1/11 Tavis talks with Screen Actors Guild- and Golden
Globe-nominated actress Rachel Weisz.
Th 1/12 Tavis talks with former U.S. Defense Secretary William Cohen.
Fr 1/13 Tavis talks with actor Tom Selleck, co-exec producer and star
of CBS's Jesse Stone: Night Passage.

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/9 Are you satisfied with your sex life? Women share intimate
details about their love lives, including that they want more from
their men � more attention, more affection and more intimacy! One
young women admits to sleeping with guys in order to feel more
attractive and another expresses her frustrations with her older
boyfriend who doesn�t want sex as often as she does. Plus, don�t miss
tips on how to appear �Slimmer in Seconds� when a top fashion stylist
shows hot looks to flatter your figure.
Tu 1/10 Don�t miss the interview that made headlines! Author of
best-selling tell-all, Confessions of A Video Vixen, and former music
video dancer Karrine Steffans tells Tyra about her outrageous
escapades and famous lovers. NBA legendary bad boy Dennis Rodman
shares some shocking confessions of his own about Madonna, Carmen
Electra and others! Plus, rap star Chingy talks about the craziest
thing a fan has ever done to get close to him.
We 1/11 Is it too much to expect your partner to be faithful? Couples
share the intimate details of what happens behind their bedroom doors
as Tyra explores the question of monogamy and if it�s natural. One
couple in an open relationship squares off against a monogamous
couple, and a newly engaged woman shares her desire to experiment with
other men before her wedding. Plus, Hugh Hefner, creator of the
�Playboy� empire, and his three girlfriends talk about their
unconventional relationship and how many women Hugh has been intimate
with!
Th 1/12 Go inside the mind of a man�if you dare! Tyra draws back the
curtain and takes you inside the male mind to reveal what guys are
really thinking when they ask you out, forget to call, or hang out
with their female friends. Steve Santagati from �Men�s Journal� and a
panel of Tyra�s closest male friends open up about taboo subjects like
love, sex and dating!
Fr 1/13 Can you imagine Pamela Anderson - soccer mom? Pam and her
�Stacked� co-star, Tony Award-winner Marissa Jaret Winokur, talk about
what�s sexy for 2006, including famous hotties, great gadgets,
must-have makeup and more! The �Stacked� stars help give three moms
hot Pam-inspired bombshell makeovers. Plus, Pam talks about her sons
and thoughts on being a mother, and Tyra wants to know what�s sexy in
your city!

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
CONVERSATIONS FROM THE EDGE WITH CARRIE FISHER, Oxygen
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
January 2, 2006
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------


MY SHOWS OF SHOWS
At the end of each year I try to identify the dozen or so outstanding
new contributions to television in the preceding 12 months.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/kansas_city_sta.html

TRIO IS DEAD. LONG LIVE TRIO.
We knew this was coming. Actually, we knew it was coming this day,
because NBC Universal was kind enough to inform the 14 members of the
press who had ever seen the Trio channel -- and the six of us who
cared enough to keep writing about it, long after it was clear it
would not survive -- that it was shutting off the channel Dec. 31.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/trio_is_dead_lo.html

INDULGE US, IF YOU WILL
A week from today, I'll be wending my way to Pasadena to work the TV
critics' tour. The trade weekly TelevisionWeek decided to cast its
spotlight on TCA press tour...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2006/01/indulge_us_if_y.html

AND IF WOLF BLITZER WERE HIS OWN NETWORK, HE'D GET A 0.2
Fourth quarter ratings are in for the major cable networks.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/and_if_wolf_bli.html

ADVICE TO MY MEDIA COLLEAGUES FOR DEALING WITH PRESS RELEASES FROM THE
AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION OR PARENTS TELEVISION COUNCIL DENOUNCING
[NETWORK SHOW HERE] AS [SYNONYM FOR "IMMORAL" OR "ANTI-CHRISTIAN" HERE]
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/advice_for_deal.html

KENNEDY CENTER HONORS BEATEN BY TELENOVELA
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/kennedy_center_.html

AMATEURS MAKE THE CUT
A "Late Show" viewer Top Ten contest yields back-breaking results.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/amateurs_make_t.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 1999 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

January 3: in 1991, it's a Very Special Episode
of "Blossom" -- its first as a series. Blossom reaches
puberty, and gets Very Special Advice from Very Special
Guest Star Phylicia Rashad.

January 4: in 1969, NBC manages to make
"Hollywood Squares" even more juvenile by dressing the
stars up as characters from children's literature and
popular films, letting kids compete for fabulous toy
prizes -- and airing "The Storybook Squares" as part of
its Saturday morning lineup.

January 5: in 1961, the-artist-formerly-known-as- "Bamboo
Harvester" makes his debut in syndication as "Mister Ed."
In this very first episode, Wilbur Post makes an astonishing
discovery -- his horse can talk. CBS will pick up the
show 26 episodes into its run in October.

January 6: in 1973, educational TV gets down and funky with
"Schoolhouse Rock," although most of the songs really
play more like jazz. The two-minute-and-fifty-eight-second
marvel that started the "Rock" rolling? "Three is a Magic Number."

January 7: in 1982, the kids from the High School for the Performing
Arts try to make good on their threat to live forever as NBC turns
"Fame" into a weekly series. Debbie Allen, Lee Curreri, Albert
Hague and Gene Anthony Ray reprise their roles from the movie.

January 8: in 1995, Fox decides foolishly to revive "Get Smart" with
Maxwell Smart and Agent (now Congresswoman) 99's son Zach
Smart fighting crime just as ineptly as his father had 25 years earlier.
The revival only produces seven episodes, but its not-so-smart young
hero -- Andy Dick -- bounces back quickly and is seen only a month
later as Matthew Brock on "NewsRadio."

January 9: in 1984, Clara Peller, Mildred Lane,
and Elizabeth Shaw stare at a tiny hamburger on a huge
bun. The hard-of-hearing Peller barks three words which
will earn her over a half a million dollars: "Where's
the beef?" The Wendy's hamburger chain will later drop
Peller in 1985 after she claims she's "found" the beef
somewhere else -- "Prego Plus" spaghetti sauce.

[Happy flu year!]

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS
Mo 1/2: Heather Graham, Fall Out Boy
Tu 1/3: Bill O'Reilly, Eric Bana
We 1/4: Pierce Brosnan, Marv Albert
Th 1/5: Felicity Huffman, Anthony Hamilton
Fr 1/6: Amy Sedaris, Dennis Regan, the Temptations
Mo 1/9: Albert Brooks
Tu 1/10: Scarlett Johansson, Imogen Heap
We 1/11: Queen Latifah, Bob Sarlatte
We 1/12: Kiefer Sutherland, Alicia Keys

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC
Mo 1/2: Sarah Jessica Parker, Isaac Mizrahi, Bo Bice
Tu 1/3: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Noelle Pikus-Pace, John Mayer Trio
We 1/4: Terrence Howard, Carrot Top, Jace Everett
Th 1/5: Will Ferrell, Flipsyde
Fr 1/6: Matt Dillon, ANT, Lil' Wayne
Mo 1/9: Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane
Tu 1/10: Joaquin Phoenix, Alanis Morissette
We 1/11: Steve Carell, Anthony Hamilton
Th 1/12: Emma Thompson, Sugarland
Fr 1/13: Jake Gyllenhaal, Steve Irwin

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS
Mo 1/2: Dr. Drew Pinsky, Bob Spitz, Trey Anastasio
Tu 1/3: Fred Willard, Connie Shultz, Wolf Parade
We 1/4: Rob Morrow, Bob Marley
Th 1/5: Don Rickles, Emily Mortimer, Aimee Mann
Fr 1/6: Daryl Hannah, Iron and Wine with Calexico

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC
Mo 1/2: Eric McCormack, Morgan Spurlock, Jason Mraz (R 8/16/05)
Tu 1/3: Quentin Tarantino, Nick Swardson, John Legend
We 1/4: Seth Green, Andy Serkis
Th 1/5: Allan Covert, Tom Papa
Fr 1/6: Nathan Lane, Sarah Chalke
Mo 1/9: John Leguizamo, John Tesh, Christy Martin (R 7/21/05)
Tu 1/10: Ron Howard, Jimmy Carr
We 1/11: LL Cool J, John Daly
Th 1/12: Emily Procter, bull rider J.W. Hart

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC
Mo 1/2: Dr. Drew Pinsky, Fort Minor, Joe Firstman (house band for the
week) (R 12/14/05)
Tu 1/3: Dermot Mulroney, Brittany Snow, Louis XIV (R 12/15/05)
We 1/4: John Krasinski, North Mississippi Allstars (R 12/20/05)
Th 1/5: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Spoon (R 12/13/05)
Fr 1/6: Jeff Daniels, Amy Smart, Jokoy, Damian Marley, Max & The
Attack (R 11/18/05)
Mo 1/9: Marisa Coughlan, David Gray, Max & The Attack (R 11/22/05)
Tu 1/10: Seth Meyers, Amos Lee, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
We 1/11: Diane Farr, Big Boi, Joe Firstman
Th 1/12: Rulon Gardner, Sean Paul, North Mississippi Allstars
Fr 1/13: Quentin Tarantino, Mat Kearney, Joe Firstman

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central
Mo 1/2: Ken Auletta (R)
Tu 1/3: Tom Brokaw (R)
We 1/4: George Packer
Th 1/5: Pierce Brosnan

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central
Mo 1/2: Peggy Noonan (R)
Tu 1/3: Craig Crawford (R)
We 1/4: Dermot Mulroney (R)
Th 1/5: Mark Cuban (R)

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC
Mo 1/2: Neil Diamond, Michael Irvin (R 11/16/05)
Tu 1/3: The Rev. Al Sharpton, sportscaster Kenny Mayne
We 1/4: Autolux
Th 1/5: John Mayer Trio
Fr 1/6: Cheryl Hines, David Banner

THE VIEW, ABC
Mo 1/2: Pre-empted
Tu 1/3: Cynthia Nixon, Don Cheadle
We 1/4: Pierce Brosnan, Chris Beckman
Th 1/5: Seth Green, Lindsay Moran
Fr 1/6: Felicity Huffman, Peri Gilpin
Mo 1/9: Connie Chung, Maury Povich, Travis Strok, Sharon Rocha
Tu 1/10: Jane Curtin, Rocco DiSpirito
We 1/11: Dr. Steven Lamm
Th 1/12: Uma Thurman, guest co-host Myrka Dellanos
Fr 1/13: LL Cool J, Alicia Keys, Mehcad Brooks, Josh Lucas

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated
Mo 1/2: Joey McIntyre, Nikki Cox (R 6/20/05)
Tu 1/3: Shannon Elizabeth, Ted McGinley, Carson Kressley (R 6/21/05)
We 1/4: David Alan Grier, Michael Bolton (R 6/22/05)
Th 1/5: John Leguizamo, Cameron Mathison (R 6/23/05)
Fr 1/6: Randy Jackson, Rascal Flatts (R 6/24/05)
Mo 1/9: Heather Graham, John Stamos, the first person eliminated from
the new season of "Dancing With The Stars"
Tu 1/10: Anne Hathaway, Vanessa Williams
We 1/11: Scarlett Johansson, Evangeline Lilly, Terrence Howard
Th 1/12: Queen Latifah, Emily Procter
Fr 1/13: Kiefer Sutherland, Kyle MacLachlan

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/2: Tea Leoni, Enrique Murciano, Ginuwine
Tu 1/3: Tom Selleck, Kristin Chenoweth, 6-year-old guitar player Quinn
Sullivan
We 1/4: Melina Kanakaredes, Anthony Anderson, Chris Brown
Th 1/5: Steve Carell, Betty White, John Mayer Trio
Fr 1/6: Kanye West, Doug Savant, 90-year-old world traveler Jeanne Hoskins
Mo 1/9: Patricia Arquette, Mekhi Phifer
Tu 1/10: Michael Chiklis, Rick Springfield
We 1/11: Pierce Brosnan
Th 1/12: Billy Crystal

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated
Mo 1/2: Faith Ford, Dr. Gadget (R 11/17/05)
Tu 1/3: Sela Ward, Mario Batali, dancers from "Mad Hot Ballroom" (R
11/18/05)
We 1/4: Katherine Helmond, Judith Light, Alyssa Milano, Danny Pintauro
(R 11/8/05)
Th 1/5: Richard Simmons, Andrea Bowen
Fr 1/6: Jenna Fischer, Beau Bridges

CHARLIE ROSE. PBS
Mo 1/2 E.L. Doctorow

DR. PHIL, Syndicated
Mo 1/2 Unwanted old habits
Tu 1/3 Married couple bickers about everything / dating advice
We 1/4 Morbid obesity
Th 1/5 Online dating
Fr 1/6 Guest Star Jones Reynolds

ISAAC, Style
Mo 1/2 Madonna / Judy Gold / Vanessa Minnillo
Tu 1/3 Finola Hughes / Hope Davis / Veronica Webb
We 1/4 Wynonna Judd / comedienne-author Chelsea Handler / makeup
artist Mally Roncal
Th 1/5 Amanda Bynes / Linda Dano / Miranda Lambert

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/2 James Denton / Denim
Tu 1/3 Josh Duhamel
We 1/4 Conan O'Brien / Mario Batali / Marion Roach
Th 1/5 Jamie Oliver / Mario Cantone / bedroom makeover / viewer mail
Fr 1/6 Larry King / chef Scott Conant

OPRAH on VACATION, Harpo
Mo 1/2 You Go Girlfriend!
Tu 1/3 Wooooooooooooooo!
We 1/4 Oh Lordy.
Th 1/5 Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm.
Fr 1/6 Every busboy here gets a new car!

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 1/14 Scarlett Johannsen / Death Cab for Cutie

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 1/2 11 PM Ashton Kutcher / Gwen Stefani
2 AM Matthew McConaughey / Dixie Chicks
Tu 1/3 Noon Colin Farrell / Scissor Sisters
11 PM Janet Jackson
2 AM The Rock / Andrew W.K.
We 1/4 Noon Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
11 PM Halle Berry / Britney Spears
2 AM Britney Spears
Th 1/5 Noon Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey / G-Unit
11 PM Queen Latifah
2 AM Pamela Lee / Rollins Band
Fr 1/6 Noon Hilary Swank / 50 Cent
11 PM Christina Aguilera / Maroon 5
2 AM Jennifer Lopez

SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
Su 1/8 Ralph Fiennes

SOAP TALK, Soapnet
Mo 1/2 Julia Barr ("All My Children") and Shawn Christian
("Summerland") drop by. Plus, An "American Idol" fan gets made over by
behind-the-scenes experts Dean Banowitz and Mezhgan. Also, Anna Nalick
sings the hit song "Breathe" as featured on shows "One Tree Hill" and
"Joan of Arcadia."
Tu 1/3 Celebrity interviews include Joseph Mascolo ("The Bold and the
Beautiful") and his bride Patricia Schultz-Mascolo. Plus, an interview
with "The Young and the Restless" casting director Marnie Saitta.
Also, Quirky Cuisine: The quirkiest recipes from America's most
outrageous cookbooks with David Hoffman.
We 1/4 Lisa discusses her stint on "Dancing with the Stars." Plus,
John Driscoll (Guiding Light") and Kent Masters-King ("General
Hospital") visit the set. Also, How to Rock Metallic Fashion: A
fashion show with Alle Fister.
Th 1/5 Adrianne Leon ("General Hospital") is interviewed. Plus, James
Van Praagh ("Ghost Whisperer") does a reading for Nancy Lee Grahn
("General Hospital"). Also, Go to the Source with "The Young and the
Restless."
Fr 1/6 Erika Slezak ("One Life to Live") drops by. Plus, Soaps Most
Emotional Moments with Stephanie Sloane.

Mo 1/9 Cameron Mathison ("All My Children") discusses the season
finale of "I Wanna Be A Soap Star." Plus, Robin Strasser ("One Life to
Live") cooks up a dish, and Mia St. John (formerly married to Kristoff
St. John) chats about her Lightweight World Champion title for boxing.
Also, The Alizma Triplets perform their Hip Hop Violin.
Tu 1/10 Brenda Strong ("Desperate Housewives") drops by. Plus, Soap
Stunt Doubles: Clay Cullen ("Days of our Lives"), Debi Mazor ("The
Young and the Restless") and Tim Davidson ("General Hospital") discuss
what it's like being stunt doubles for some famous soap stars. Also,
Ted Casablanca ("E!") reveals the truth behind Hollywood's red carpet.
We 1/11 Kassie DePaiva ("One Life to Live") sings. Plus, Amy Grabow
("General Hospital") is interviewed. Plus, What to Wear to a Wedding
with Allison Dickson, and The Lazy Husband: Dr. Joshua Coleman, shows
you how to get your husband to do more around the house.
Th 1/12 Ricardo Chavira ("Desperate Housewives") and Maeve Quinlan
("The Bold and the Beautiful") are interviewed. Plus, Daily Candy's
Danielle Romano tells you the Must Haves for Surviving The Dating
Scene, and Sell Your House: How to Get the Most Out of Your Home When
You Are Selling with Tanya Memme.
Fr 1/13 Joshua Morrow ("The Young and the Restless") challenges Ty to
an obstacle course. Plus, Michelle Phillips drops by to talk about of
"The Mamas and the Papas" reissue CD and DVD. Also, Turn Bridesmaids
Dresses into Hot, Trendy Looks with celebrity stylist Jennifer Rade.
And Peter Greenberg talks about Vacation Getaways for Desperate
Housewives.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
Tu 1/3 We kick off the new year with our very first show of '06.
We 1/4 From the Four Kings, Seth Green shows us why he rules so much.
Th 1/5 We catch up with Laguna Beach's very own Dieter.
Fr 1/6 Who will land on top of the countdown this week? Tune in to
find out!

THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
Mo 1/2 "'Top Model: Cycle 5' Fan Choice Awards": You voted on the most
scandalous and controversial moments from "America's Next Top Model"
and Tyra announces the results of the "Top Model: Cycle 5' Fan Choice
Awards." Plus, contestants join Tyra to share the juicy details of
what really happened on the show! Then walk the red carpet with
exclusive access to the "Top Model: Cycle 5" finale party and follow
the "Top Models" as they surprise their biggest fans and give glam
makeovers!
Tu 1/3 "Naomi Campbell": Catfight on the catwalk! Don't miss this
emotional episode as Tyra and supermodel Naomi Campbell discuss their
14-year feud for the first time. It's a moment so personal, that Tyra
clears the audience so she can face Naomi one on one as she asks for
answers from the woman who should have been her mentor, but instead
became a stumbling block in her modeling career. Plus, learn about
Tyra's new initiative to promote sisterhood among women.
We 1/4 "Fanatics": How would you react if you met your favorite
celebrity? Tyra surprises fans with a face-to-face meeting with big
stars, including Grammy-winner Eve and the rest of the cast of her
self-titled sitcom, hip-hop superstar Bow Wow, and Michael Rapaport
from "The War At Home." Plus, "Top Model's" Jay Manuel and Jay
Alexander surprise the stars and judge a makeover showdown between two
of their biggest fans for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
Th 1/5 "Icons: Tarantino and Twiggy": Oscar-winner and "King of Cool"
Quentin Tarantino talks about his latest big screen project, "Hostel,"
admits his "fondness" for the female foot, and judges three women in
the first "America's Top Foot Model" competition. "Top Model" judge
and fashion icon Twiggy tells Tyra how she revolutionized the modeling
industry with her unique look. Plus, Tyra introduces another available
bachelor from her national "He's a Keeper" search and rap sensation
Ray J performs!
Fr 1/6 "Fix It Or Flaunt It: Part II": Back by popular demand, Tyra
and her "Drag Force" are fixing and flaunting flaws! One woman gets a
moving surprise when she's offered help fixing her post-baby tummy
troubles, and a young woman who can't stand the way her nose looks
gets a non-surgical fix in less than 10 minutes.

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
CONVERSATIONS FROM THE EDGE WITH CARRIE FISHER, Oxygen
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***

------------------------------------
THIS WEEK AT THE TV BARN
http://www.tvbarn.com
December 27, 2005
------------------------------------
To leave the list, or change your
subscription, see end of newsletter.
------------------------------------

THE YEAR IN REVIEW: NOT DEAD YET
In the first of two year-end reviews, I looked at the most significant
TV-related stories, including a few milestone events, none more
interesting than the publication this week of a 20th anniversary
edition of Neil Postman's classic piece of television criticism,
Amusing Ourselves to Death: Political Discourse in an Age of Show
Business.
At the website: My interview with Neil Postman's son Andrew about
his father's book and ideas.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/the_year_in_rev.html

THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS
This afternoon on my KMOX show, in an extended segment, Aaron Barnhart
and I reviewed the year in television...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/paul_harris_onl_1.html

A CHRISTMAS WISH
Here's what we wanted for Christmas -- some Christmas movies on demand.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/a_christmas_wis.html

CHECK YOUR BOOKMARKS
When you dial up TV Barn, your browser bar should now read either

     http://tvbarn.com OR
     http://www.tvbarn.com

If it reads anything else (namely, blogs.kansascity.com), please reset
your TV Barn bookmark. I've provided a link above for your convenience.

I decided to mirror my kansascity.com page after last week's TypePad
meltdown, which left readers thinking I wasn't posting anything to my
site, when in fact I was but TypePad wasn't.

SOMETHING ELSE TO BLAME ON JOHN GIBSON
While watching "The O.C." last night, I was struck,
lightning-bolt-like, by a realization that has been completely
obscured by the "War Against Christmas" distraction...
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/something_else_.html

JAY WALKING ALL OVER DAVE
So why, with the ratings on CBS going up, up, up and those for NBC
going down, down, down -- at least in prime time -- why is Jay Leno
again pulling away from David Letterman? I posed that question to Rick
Ludwin, the network's longtime head of late night. He thinks it has a
lot to do with Jay. I think it has a lot to do with NBC.  But on one
thing we're agreed: If Wal-Mart held onto customers the way "The
Tonight Show" held onto viewers, its stock price would be a lot higher.
Hear my interview with Rick Ludwin at
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/jay_walking_all.html

VIRGIN SPANKS MONKEY
According to this press release (on the jump), DVD sales of The
40-Year-Old Virgin exceeded $66 million last week, assuming that those
3.7 million customers each paid $18.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/virgin_spanks_m.html

BECAUSE GUYS DON'T BUY TIDE
So I'm listening in on a teleconference call this morning with Nielsen
Media Research, which is announcing that it will begin tracking DVR
ratings next week, and VOD ratings next spring.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/because_guys_do.html

YOUR EERIE REFERENCE TO DICK CHENEY HERE
In today's TV Barn Radio segment of my KMOX show, Aaron Barnhart and I
discussed what "The West Wing" will do now that John Spencer (Leo
McGarry) has died in real life. Then Aaron explains the "Deal or No
Deal" show that NBC is running all week, and we talk about primetime
telenovellas.
http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2005/12/supply_your_spo.html

***

Tom Heald's TEST PATTERNS
Copyright 1999 (C) Tom Heald
idontgetit@...

December 27: in 1947, "Say kids, what time is it?" Time for the kids
in the "Peanut Gallery' to sing off key and rather loudly.
Nonetheless, it's the first official episode of "The Howdy Doody
Show," although the character originated on Bob Smith's radio show
"The Triple B Ranch" and made his TV debut on NBC's "Puppet Playhouse."

December 28: in 1992, although three networks will air TV movies about
the relationship between Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuocco, NBC leads
the pack by a mere four days with Noelle Parker as the handpicked lead
and Ed Marinaro as her lothario in "Amy Fisher: My Story."

December 29: in 1967 (or for the really picky, Stardate 4523.3), the
starship Enterprise answers a subspace distress call from Space
Station K7, and winds up ferrying a couple of tons of wheat, which
soon are eaten by "only the sweetest creature known to man," as the
crew of "Star Trek" has "Trouble With Tribbles," voted the favorite
episode of that series by its fans.

December 30: in 1963, Monty Hall offers for the first time to "Let's
Make A Deal."

December 31: in 1979, Dick Clark's "New Year's Rockin' Eve 1979"
salutes white people with Erin Moran of "Happy Days" and "The Dukes of
Hazzard's" John Schneider hosting the pretaped musical segments with
Blondie, Chic, Barry Manilow, the Oak Ridge Boys and the Village People.

January 1: in 1965, Soupy Sales rings in the New Year by being fired
(though later reinstated) after he tells viewers to get their parent's
wallets and take out "those little green pieces of paper" with
pictures of Presidents on them, and send them in to him.

January 2: in 1954, NBC gets demented with the debut of "The Spike
Jones Show." Millions of viewers arrive each week with bells on to
watch classical music be tortured by bandleader Jones who's
occasionally there with bells on, even though he might be late.

[Thomas Heald can't wait for this year's Pets.com Water Bowl, live
from Orlando.]

***

THE LINEUPS, brought to you by Sue Trowbridge (Dave through Tony) and
Tom Heald (everything else, including the fake one)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Mo 12/26: Howard Stern, Pharrell Williams, a Top Ten List presented by
Tom Hanks (R 11/17/05)
Tu 12/27: Steve Martin, 18-year-old mayor Michael Sessions, Paul
Teutul Sr. and Paul Teutul Jr. (R 11/10/05)
We 12/28: Joaquin Phoenix, Sebastien Bourdais, Trisha Yearwood (R
11/15/05)
Th 12/29: Jack Black, 2005 Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush, Sinead
O'Connor (R 12/12/05)
Fr 12/30: Ellen Degeneres, the cast of Broadway's "The Color Purple"
(R 12/16/05)

Mo 1/2: Heather Graham, Fall Out Boy
Tu 1/3: Bill O'Reilly, Eric Bana
We 1/4: Pierce Brosnan, Marv Albert
Th 1/5: Felicity Huffman, Anthony Hamilton
Fr 1/6: Amy Sedaris, Dennis Regan, the Temptations

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Mo 12/26: Pamela Anderson, Brian Setzer Orchestra (R 12/19/05)
Tu 12/27: George Clooney, Steve Schirripa, Trey Anastasio (R 12/8/05)
We 12/28: Steve Martin, Tyler James Williams, Chris Brown (R 12/13/05)
Th 12/29: Sarah Jessica Parker, Isaac Mizrahi, Bo Bice (R 12/5/05)
Fr 12/30: Ron Howard, Rachael Ray, Brian Wilson (R 12/6/05)

Mo 1/2: Jerry Seinfeld, Shelley Berman, Carrie Underwood
Tu 1/3: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Noelle Pikus-Pace, John Mayer Trio
We 1/4: Terrence Howard, Carrot Top, Jace Everett
Th 1/5: Will Ferrell, Flipsyde
Fr 1/6: Matt Dillon, ANT, Lil' Wayne

LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON, CBS

Mo 12/26: Dwight Yoakam, Teri Garr, Pepe the King Prawn (R 12/20/05)
Tu 12/27: Brian Stokes, Dennis Quaid, Bill Nye, Bob Marley (R 12/19/05)
We 12/28: Chris Isaak, Sara Gilbert (R 12/16/05)
Th 12/29: Dennis Quaid, Malachy McCourt, Miranda Lambert (R 12/1/05)
Fr 12/30: Jon Cryer, Amy Yasbeck (R 12/12/05)

Mo 1/2: Dr. Drew Pinsky, Bob Spitz, Trey Anastasio
Tu 1/3: Fred Willard, Connie Shultz, Wolf Parade
We 1/4: Rob Morrow, Bob Marley
Th 1/5: Don Rickles, Emily Mortimer, Aimee Mann

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Mo 12/26: Jeff Goldblum, Marc Maron, North Mississippi Allstars (R 8/5/05)
Tu 12/27: Jarod Miller, Ben McKenzie, David Feldman (R 8/2/05)
We 12/28: Billy Bob Thornton, Patton Oswalt, the Hold Steady (R 7/19/05)
Th 12/29: Steve Carell, Connie Nielsen, the Click Five (R 8/18/05)
Fr 12/30: Matthew McConaughey, Jesse Eisenberg, Greg Behrendt (R 10/5/05)

Mo 1/2: Rerun TBA
Tu 1/3: Quentin Tarantino, Nick Swardson
We 1/4: Seth Green
Th 1/5: TBA
Fr 1/6: Nathan Lane, Allen Covert

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, NBC

Mo 12/26: Adam Carolla, Amos Lee, Max & The Attack (R 11/24/05)
Tu 12/27: George Lopez, Natasha Bedingfield, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
(house band for the week) (R 11/29/05)
We 12/28: Jon Favreau, Juliette & The Licks (R 11/30/05)
Th 12/29: Jerry O'Connell, Liz Phair (R 12/1/05)
Fr 12/30: Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, Jessica Kirson, Fall Out Boy (R
11/11/05)

Mo 1/2: Dr. Drew Pinsky, Fort Minor, Joe Firstman (house band for the
week) (R 12/14/05)
Tu 1/3: Dermot Mulroney, Brittany Snow, Louis XIV (R 12/15/05)
We 1/4: John Krasinski, North Mississippi Allstars (R 12/20/05)
Th 1/5: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Spoon (R 12/13/05)
Fr 1/6: Jeff Daniels, Amy Smart, Jokoy, Damian Marley, Max & The
Attack (R 11/18/05)

Mo 1/9: Marisa Coughlan, David Gray, Max & The Attack (R 11/22/05)
Tu 1/10: Seth Meyers, Amos Lee, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
We 1/11: Diane Farr, Big Boi, Joe Firstman
Th 1/12: Rulon Gardner, Sean Paul, North Mississippi Allstars
Fr 1/13: Quentin Tarantino, Mat Kearney, Joe Firstman

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy Central

Mo 12/26: Pre-empted
Tu 12/27: Pre-empted
We 12/28: Pre-empted
Th 12/29: Pre-empted

Mo 1/2: Ken Auletta (R)
Tu 1/3: Tom Brokaw (R)
We 1/4: George Packer
Th 1/5: Pierce Brosnan

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central

Mo 12/26: Pre-empted
Tu 12/27: Pre-empted
We 12/28: Pre-empted
Th 12/29: Pre-empted

Mo 1/2: Peggy Noonan (R)
Tu 1/3: Craig Crawford (R)

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE, ABC

Mo 12/26: Howie Mandel, San Diego Charger La Dainian Tomlinson, Death
Cab for Cutie (R 12/13/05)
Tu 12/27: Cedric the Entertainer, Kenny Chesney (R 11/21/05)
We 12/28: 50 Cent, Christopher Meloni, Morningwood (R 11/11/05)
Th 12/29: Roseanne Barr, Black Eyed Peas (R 10/17/05)
Fr 12/30: William Shatner, Kristen Bell, Staind (R 11/14/05)

THE VIEW, ABC

Mo 12/26: Teri Hatcher (R 12/9/05)
Tu 12/27: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joely Fisher (R 10/24/05)
We 12/28: Caroline Rhea (R 10/4/05)
Th 12/29: 50 Cent, Joy Bryant, Linda Dano (R 11/11/05)
Fr 12/30: Gloria Estefan (R 12/14/05)

Mo 1/2: TBA
Tu 1/3: Tom Bergeron
We 1/4: TBA
Th 1/5: Seth Green, Dr. Elizabeth Somer
Fr 1/6: Felicity Huffman, Dr. Steven Lamm, Peri Gilpin

LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY, syndicated

Mo 12/26: Eva Longoria, Orlando Bloom, Ben McKenzie, the cast of the
movie "Rent" (R)
Tu 12/27: Stevie Wonder, Owen Wilson, Amanda Bynes, Pilobolus (R)
We 12/28: Dakota Fanning, Ricky Martin & Amerie, Venus & Serena
Williams, Jamie Oliver (R)
Th 12/29: Teri Hatcher, Raven-Symone, Daniel Radcliffe, sumo wrestling
demonstration
Fr 12/30: 15th Annual Mom's Dream Come True show (R 05/02/05)

Mo 1/2: Joey McIntyre, Nikki Cox (R 6/20/05)
Tu 1/3: Shannon Elizabeth, Ted McGinley, Carson Kressley (R 6/21/05)
We 1/4: David Alan Grier, Michael Bolton (R 6/22/05)
Th 1/5: John Leguizamo, Cameron Mathison (R 6/23/05)
Fr 1/6: Randy Jackson, Rascal Flatts (R 6/24/05)

Mo 1/9: Heather Graham, John Stamos, the first person eliminated from
the new season of "Dancing With The Stars"
Tu 1/10: Anne Hathaway, Vanessa Williams
We 1/11: Scarlett Johansson, Evangeline Lilly, Terrence Howard
Th 1/12: Queen Latifah, Emily Procter
Fr 1/13: Kiefer Sutherland, Kyle MacLachlan

THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW, syndicated

Mo 12/26: Kim Cattrall, Bon Jovi, the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes
(R 11/22/05)
Tu 12/27: Matt Lauer, Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler (R 11/23/05)
We 12/28: Queen Latifah, Billy Joel (R 11/25/05)
Th 12/29: Donald Trump, Paul Reiser, Peter Falk (R 9/20/05)
Fr 12/30: Mariah Carey, Evangeline Lilly, 6-year-old music prodigy
Marc Yu (R 11/18/05)

Mo 1/2: Tea Leoni, Enrique Murciano, Ginuwine
Tu 1/3: Tom Selleck, Kristin Chenoweth
We 1/4: Melina Kanakaredes, Anthony Anderson, Chris Brown
Th 1/5: Steve Carell, Betty White, John Mayer Trio

THE TONY DANZA SHOW, syndicated

Mo 12/26: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jack Klugman, Ted McGinley (R 10/12/05)
Tu 12/27: Elisabeth Hasselback, James Lipton, Daisy Martinez (R 10/18/05)
We 12/28: Naveen Andrews, Paula Deen, Shawn King (R 10/19/05)
Th 12/29: Camryn Manheim, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy (R 11/3/05)
Fr 12/30: Al Roker, Elmo, Leann Rimes (R 11/10/05)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC
Sa 1/14 Scarlett Johannsen / Death Cab for Cutie

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, E! (repeats)
Mo 12/26 1 AM Brittany Murphy / Nelly
3 AM Andie MacDowell / Tracy Chapman
Tu 12/27 Noon Roseanne / Green Day
1 AM Christina Ricci / Beck
3 AM Glenn Close / Black Crowes
We 12/28 Noon & 1 AM Robert De Niro / Destiny's Child
3 AM David Hyde Pierce / Live
Th 12/29 Noon Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado
1 AM Cameron Diaz / The Smashing Pumpkins
Fr 12/30 Noon Matthew Perry / Oasis
3 AM Kevin Bacon / INXS

SUNDAY MORNING SHOOTOUT, AMC
Su 1/8 at Ralph Fiennes

THE WAR ON , Fox News Channel
Mo 12/26 Kwanzaa
Tu 12/27 Valentine's Day
We 12/28 White Males
Th 12/29 Drugs
Fr 12/30 Wars

Also on late nights talk, news, or panel discussion:
AFTER HOURS WITH CAL THOMAS, and assorted other shows, Fox News
ASSORTED STUFF ON FOX NEWS CHANNEL
THE BEST DAMN SPORTS SHOW PERIOD, FOX Sports
THE BIG IDEA WITH DONNY DEUTSCH, CNBC
BLIND DATE, syndicated, Spike TV
THE CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOW, syndicated, weekends
CONVERSATIONS FROM THE EDGE WITH CARRIE FISHER, Oxygen
CROSSING OVER WITH JOHN EDWARD, Sci Fi Network, syndicated
DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1
DINNER FOR FIVE, IFC (Back in repeat cycle)
DR. PHIL, Syndicated
ISAAC, Style
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, Syndicated
LARRY KING LIVE, CNN
THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW, Syndicated
NAOMI'S NEW MORNING, Hallmark Channel6
NIGHTLINE, ABC
OPRAH, Syndicated
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, HBO
SOAP TALK, Soapnet
THE TAVIS SMILEY SHOW, PBS
THE TYRA BANKS SHOW, Syndicated
TONIGHT SHOW, LATE NIGHT, MEET THE PRESS, SNL & DATELINE reruns, NBC
All Night
TOTAL REQUEST LIVE, MTV
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC

***