i was re reading Encore and suddenly the whole thing has disappered.

Jewels, That was absolutely beautiful and really worth the wait.  You
are a really amazing writer.  You've told the story in such a
beautiful way.  LOVE IT!!!  Can't wait to read more from you.  Never
stop writing, you've got an amazing talent and beautiful soul!!!!!!

Melly

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Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2007 14:43:12 +0100 (CET)
To: thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com, "anjschneider"
<anjschneider@...>
From: "Elise" <y_eliz76@...>
Subject: Re: [thepracticefanfiction] ENCORE 28 With a touch of Soul
THE FINALE PART 1

thank you thank you so much I was surprise and very happy to see
your message ... But I knew
someday you would do it ...

   I can tell that you definitely haven't loose your tuch you're
still a good writer I can't wait
for next part ...

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Date: Sat, 27 Jan 2007 20:38:09 +0000 (GMT)
To: thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com
From: "Elise" <y_eliz76@...>
Subject: Re : [thepracticefanfiction] ENCORE 28 With a touch of Soul
THE FINALE PART 1

Plain Text Attachment [ Scan and Save to Computer | Save to Yahoo!
Briefcase ]

thank you thank you so much I was surprise and very happy to see
your message ... But I knew
someday you would do it ...

I can tell that you definitely haven't loose your tuch you're still
a good writer I can't wait for
next part ...

epilogue!!!  epilogue!!!  ahhhh!!!  please don't wait forever!  I'm so glad you
decided to
finish the story.  thanks for coming back to us!  you can keep writing forever
and I'll
definitely keep reading!!!!  please don't stop...!  Thanks!
Lindsay




--- In thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com, "jewels_gold2002"
<anjschneider@...>
wrote:
>
> Continuation from part A Encore 29 with a touch of Soul B
>
>
> She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
> jeans
> and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
> he's been
> running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
> style.
>  She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
> promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
> give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
> banister.
>
> "I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
> he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
> She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
> open
> in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
> survey
> the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
> fingers and
> lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"
>
> She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
> separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
> unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
> away as possible, that was the
> plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
> the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
> within her heart.
>
> He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
> chairs.
> She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
> She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
> Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
> them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.
>
> She sips the tea for courage.
>
> He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
> going
> to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
> into
> an admission so be it!
>
> "You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
> You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
> He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
> her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
> attack.
> "I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
> his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
> drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!
>
> "Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
> on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
> that,
> bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just  wants to
> trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
> does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
> doesn't EVER want to know what
> he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
> shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
> now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
> implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
> and sleep.
> Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
> be bliss
> right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
> wherever
> and however she wanted.
>
> "Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
> us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
> infiltrated
> with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
> together again.
>
> "I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
> accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
> He'll
> get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
> knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.
>
> "I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring!  I
> KNOW
> Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
> it.
>
> Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
> figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
> he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
> she
> hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
> her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
> family.
> NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
> it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
> anyone
> else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
> happen!
>
>
>  Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
> been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
> NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
> ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
> nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
> this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
> of them, namely
> him and she can do it again!
>
> "OH yes I do!"
>
> "You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
> do!" Lindsay
> says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
> you know!"
> She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"
>
> I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
> Don't you
> dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
> seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
> uniquely twisted
> way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
> she said! After
> she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
> for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
> otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
> you and that's what this is about!"
>
>
> She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
> set
> of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
> it,
> penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
> of this is useless.
> "Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
> accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.
>
> "Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.
>
> "IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
> his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"
>
> "NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
> BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
> IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"
>
> "BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
> his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
> to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
> disrespected by
> your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
> disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
> slung through the mud! I know what
> it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
> treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
> shakes her head backing away a little
> "DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
> through it all
> from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
> you to be maligned
> in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
> judgment from anyone!
> They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
> you
> to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
> really are, who YOU'VE always been!"
>
> Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
> it's not
> the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
> is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
> NOTHING
> more true in his life than her place in his heart.
>
> "Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
> roll.
>
> "This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
> hold the pain
> inside.  "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
> being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
> consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
> ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
> the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
> turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
> that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
> distance between them making
> sure he is very much in her face.
>
> "I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
> believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
> be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"
>
> Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
> her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.
>
> "Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
> know!
> You mean everything to me! You are MY life!  Why don't YOU know it!"
> Bobby's head shakes in resignation.
>
> "I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
> so
> hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
> dawn.
> But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
> right thing
> for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
> fantasy to hell.
>
> "The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
> upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
> you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
> give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
> justice
> system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
> infiltrates every
> corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
> you!" Lindsay is
> determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
> your side
> remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
> way. Lindsay
> paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
> we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
> made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
> what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
> knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
> important to you!"
>
> Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
> on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
> every
> moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
> tell her
> how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
> hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
> impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
> known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
> now!
>
> "IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
> why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
> lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
> found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
> it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
> may never have come back from!"
>
> "Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
> at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
> up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
> NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"
>
> "WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
> snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
> hands.
> He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
> behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
> him again! At least he's learned
> to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
> that!
>
> "Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
> a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
> to NOT be
> good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
> now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
> assault spinning
> around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
> her eyes.
>
> "I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
> IF
> anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
> her not to believe she's ever been less to him.
>
> "You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
> seem
> never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
> have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.
>
> "Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
> regret.
>
>
> "NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
> YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
> They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
> have it associated with you
> if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
> I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
> unintentional play on words
> People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
> place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
> right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
> sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
> in a protective gesture.
>
> Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
> firmly.
> "That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.
>
> "Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
> jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
> reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
> everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
> Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
> him to deny the truth.
>
> "NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
> hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
> to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
> to vibrate.
>
> Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
> head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
> "I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.
>
> "Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.
>
> She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
> leaving- because
> it has to be the way it is."
>
> "NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
> Youuuuuu
> are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.
>
> "I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.
>
> "Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
> again.
> "What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
> work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
> it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
> us! We
> were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
> have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"
>
> "You know the saying Bobby  **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
> cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
> change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
> dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
> can't do it."
> Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
> words.
>
> "YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR  NO's for an answer anymore!"
> Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
> that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
> is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
> it all
> and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
> over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
> And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
> the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
> if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
> he would ever know
> how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
> been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
> client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
> position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
> there
> were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
> what her mind rationally concluded long ago.
>
> "Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
> won't matter once you do that!"
>
> "I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
> I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
> behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
> want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
> don't
> want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
> things
> don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
> deep quick
> breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.
>
> "At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
> of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
> what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
> used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
> company. But now-
> and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
> attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"
>
> "DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
> loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
> him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"
>
> "NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
> be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
> thoughts
> she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
> think
> of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
> NOT
> that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
> so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
> did,
> so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
> if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
> haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
> with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
> on the
> son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
> have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
> actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
> innocent one in all of this!"
>
> "STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
> did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
> Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
> WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
> "You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
> fondly.
> "And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
> just as they did
> that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
> insecurities.
>
> Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.
>
> "Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
> our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
> isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
> better."
>
> Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
> and it totally infuriates Bobby.
> "I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"
>
> "I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
> someday, you'll see
> Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
> everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
> loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."
>
> "But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
> about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
> going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
> closing arguments
> and he isn't about to lose this one!
>
> "It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
> let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
> she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.
>
> "Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
> almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
> once and for all out of the picture!
>
> "And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
> unmarried,
> FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
> say will change my mind about that!"
>
> "No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
> It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
> give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.
>
> "THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
> a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
> waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
> stood right here
> in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
> again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
> together!"
> What the hell happened to that!"
>
> "I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
> you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
> me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
> was
> wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
> and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
> what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.
>
> Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
> Bobby's
> pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
> towards her. "I KNOW
> how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.
>
> "Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
> you,
> yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
> did that day in the
> office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
> him again. "But there's
> also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
> Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
> her.
>
> "LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
> protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
> don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
> Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
> because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"
>
> "Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
> rarely ever
> do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"
>
> "NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
> GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
> He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
> her again. They
> keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
> no matter
> what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
> continue
> the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
> surrender.
> Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
> making it absolutely
> impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
> words, words she loves hearing.
>
> Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
> "I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
> little unsure
> of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
> the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
> into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
> lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
> I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
> anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
> contract with NO loopholes."
>
> "Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
> are aching
> with unshed tears.
>
> "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
> US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
> did
> want to spare you  the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
> stupid
> uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
> almost as much
> as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.
>
> "See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
> to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
> fashion
> that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
> at all.
>
> "I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
> a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
> going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
> another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.
>
> Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
> the irony
> in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
> own,
> without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.
>
> Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
> They share
> a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
> saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
> greatest
> stumbling blocks.
>
> "You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
> pleading.
>
> Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
> entertained
> there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
> She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
> inside of her too.
>
> "This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.
>
> "Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
> do this! It goes
> to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
> and bam you're gone!"
> Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.
>
> "I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
> indecisive about what
> the hell to do next.
>
> "There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
> and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
> like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
> you remember HOW disastrous that was?"
>
> Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
> to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
> truth
> here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
> afraid.
>
> Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
> see
> what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
> after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
> the
> one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
> scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
> me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
> gentle.
>
> She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
> to be,
> but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
> only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
> at all.
> She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
> Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
> her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
> I wouldn't
> live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.
>
> Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
> taking
> full advantage of her vulnerability.
>
> "I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
> lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
> softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
> lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
> his quietly spoken reassurances.
>
> "You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
> now. She's
> failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
> best
> for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
> the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
> believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
> gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
> from her for his own good.
>
> "Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
> I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
> having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
> resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
> unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
> that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
> embracing her waist.
>
> "Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
> ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
> truth. "I've
> turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
> anyone
> else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
> steady. Without
> you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
> me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
> you and our son's too. So know this
> if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"
>
> "Bobby I did it all out of."
>
> "-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
> informs her
> not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
> misunderstanding
> as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
> his
> heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.
>
> "And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
> drawing closer and closer to hers.
>
> "But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
> to be honest
> I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
> court seat
> and I knew up front the committee had reservations."
>
> "I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
> but he
> holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.
>
> "Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
> I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
> job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.
>
> "But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
> this
> to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
> like.
>
> "I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
> I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
> my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
> them
> and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
> testimony. He
> meant every loving word.
>
> "I didn't know."
>
> "You didn't ask!"
>
> "You should have said something!" She snarls back.
>
> "HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.
>
> Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.
>
> "How did you find out-I was so careful to-."
>
> "Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
> agrees. He
> guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
> happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
> are not exactly off just yet.
>
> "So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
> pillow with her free arm.
>
> "Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
> yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
> crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
> him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
> rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
> arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
> came
> together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
> first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
> time) "Judge Hiller
> (he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
> that you knew about all of it!"  I finally realized what all this
> bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
> firelight.
>
> "I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
> admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
> She acknowledges
> what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
> her. More now
> than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
> her
> great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
> was
> sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
> easy
> escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
> She whispers
> tears glistening in her eyes.
>
> "We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
> we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
> know that's true."
>
> "I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.
>
> "You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
> She does as ordered.
>
> "I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
> any kind Lindsay,
> if they didn't want you by my side-"
>
> "You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
> isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
> part
> of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
> ever if it cost him his dream.
>
> His fingers tighten around hers.
> "NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
> slightly.
>
> "This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
> trees-
> and Judge Hiller is-"
>
> "One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
> hiding along
> the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
> Lindsay.
>
> "What is this?"
>
> "It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
> Judge Hiller gave it to
> me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
> my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.
>
> Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.
>
> Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
> drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.
>
> "Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"
>
> "Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
> blanks hoping
> she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.
>
> Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
> after
> he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
> after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
> first paragraph unable
> to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
> He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
> He'd hated her then.
> How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
> hours
> later?
>
> "READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
> document.
>
> She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
> to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
> how much he respected her, admired her courage,
> how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
> it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
> husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
> smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
> because
> her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.
>
> "How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
> and unshed tears sting.
>
> "Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
> her
> amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
> to
> have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
> document
> will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
> public
> any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.
>
> "You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
> She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
> after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
> these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
> For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
> should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
> could
> have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
> Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
> for
> her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
> The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
> slides closer to her
> while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
> hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
> into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
> hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
> His husky voice is just above a whisper.
>
> "Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
> all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
> paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
> it feels to
> become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
> springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
> you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
> her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
> smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
> future.
>
> But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
> he's
> doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
> him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
> "OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
> springs into his arms in less time than it takes
> to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
> kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
> forehead
> more excited about it than he ever was.
> She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
> breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!
>
> She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
> pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
> blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
> she heard
> right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
> fully congratulate
> him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
> triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
> wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
> his, no THEIR third dream coming true.
>
> Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
> voraciously.
> Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
> longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
> hair pulling her head closer and closer as
> their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
> part lips breathless
> and exuberantly happy.
>
> "I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"
>
> He smiles tentatively.
>
> Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
> be. "What's wrong?"
>
> "I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
> go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
> I win I always think wow
> this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
> I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.
>
> "About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
> and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
> made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
> can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
> this!
>
> "Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
> Lindsay."
> He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
> her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
> scared-too
> I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
> from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
> He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
> know I can
> let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
> the people in my
> life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
> Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
> everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
> on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
> distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
> she will be honest with him. And this
> has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
> express it.
> "I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
> into that guy I was."
>
> "Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
> of her faith.
>
> "I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
> are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
> yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"
>
> "NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
> healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
> even a little, you'll
> have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
> happy
> anticipation.
>
> Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.
>
> Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
> feel her
> presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
> she does it,
> sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
> senses his need
> to know she's there.
>
> "I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
> But I want
> you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
> compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
> believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
> would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."
>
> "Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
> thinking." Bobby
> grins sheepishly.
>
> "When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
> one she'll
> never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
> wife. She smiles
> giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
> thinking it, let
> alone experiencing it.
>
> "Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
> into the courthouse
> and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
> loves to prolong
> the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"
>
> "Yeah… I know!"
>
> "Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
> she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
> gotten it."
>
> "Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
> Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
> his arms contentedly.
>
> "She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
> really hard
> to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
> mind
> was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
> tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
> continues with his story.
>
> "All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
> and who
> the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
> me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
> Lindsay
> he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."
>
> Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
> wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.
>
> "I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
> finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
> at me like she always does. "
>
> "You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.
>
> "Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"
>
> "What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.
>
> She said some really surprising things."
>
> "Like what?"
>
> "Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
> finally made
> her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
> she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
> and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
> to see Lindsay's
> reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
> also said I gave
> the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
> miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
> little reminding tease Lindsay's way.
>
> She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
> them. "She never
> said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
> know
> there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
> relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.
>
> "Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
> she isn't
> about to give them up without a through perusal.
>
> Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
> reading the
> final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.
>
> "I know- hard to believe."
>
> "NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
> accomplishment.
>
> "So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
> approval to have
> the confidence he needs.
>
> "I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
> grinning widely.
>
> "You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
> Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.
>
> "Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
> shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
> rescue mission.
>
> Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
> deeper later.
>
> "Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
> entirely
> different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
> tell you.
> I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
> when I left was that
> I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
> this with."
>
> Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
> her.
>
> Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
> sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
> for her. Just as he saved this
> haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
> obstacles
> she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
> love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
> confidante, her lover, her everything.
>
> "I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
> be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
> Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
> time.
>
> "Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
> sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
> she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
> he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
> professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
> ashamed
> of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
> pressured her to use it
> in any way publicly.
>
> "You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
> reading his mind.
>
> "As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
> feel
> unworthy another day of their lives.
> They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
> never return.
>
> As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.
>
> "If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
> need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE  I will
> take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
> He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
> Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
> edict.
>
> "You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
> behavior
> she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
> everything he thinks he knows.
>
> "I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
> were here!"
> Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.
>
> He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
> space
> or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
> open their
> lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
> emulates
> every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
> surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
> again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
> soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
> her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
> moment before his
> mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
> her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
> ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
> body.
>
> She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
> of his
> chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
> his lips nibbling her
> ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
> Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
> beating against
> the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
> to ignite
> their aching need within.
>
> "I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
> eyes.
>
> She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
> beautiful eyes.
>
> "Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
> slight change
> of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
> for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
> eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
> and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
> opposite for weeks.
>
> There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
> into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
> voraciously  imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
> man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
> withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
> her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
> either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
> conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
> murmuring puppet.
>
> Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
> hers
> as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
> he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
> God knows
> it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
> smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
> delectably his.
>
> Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
> She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
> it, but she feels a little nagging
> voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
> flesh is weak
> and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
> down his lips
> catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
> aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
> she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
> the invitation greedily.
>
> Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
> completely yet.
>
> He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
> troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."
>
> She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
> shoves the
> little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
> reassurances of love.
>
> Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
> separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
> always his.
> Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
> sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.
>
> Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
> trembling, anticipating
> ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
> pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
> her back the returning, piercing, nagging
> guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
> shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
> indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
> Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
> when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
> they
> were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
> Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
> felt, why is he glossing over it as
> if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
> feels
> to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
> pretend.
>
> He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
> him to act as if it
> doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
> Ross's
> place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
> all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
> She inflicted
> so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
> be reeling inside?
>
> Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
> consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
> slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
> widen in guilty
> awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
> be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
> him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
> he obeys her wishes.
>
> "Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
> into
> his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
> do to
> this delightful interlude.
>
> "What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
> about
> gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
> little boy's
> she knows.  He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
> of her neck.
>
> "NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
> Ross." She
> says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
> water.
>
> Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
> does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.
>
> "I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
> little. She
> definitely hit an exposed nerve.
>
> "We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
> over exposed
> in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
> revert
> to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
> she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.
>
> "I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
> want this
> OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
> conversation now!"
>
> "NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
> edgewise.
>
> "NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
> what's done
> is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
> other
> words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
> robe.
> `We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
> reconciliation
> without having total honesty between them.
>
> "You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
> she? "Bobby
> you and I need to discuss this!"
>
> "No!"
>  Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
> down inside.
>
> "Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
> sooner
> this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
> promise!" Lindsay
> eyes implore his cooperation.
>
> "If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
> YOU'RE right
> he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
> the possibility.
>
> "I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
> you think!"
>
> "You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
> at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
> stomach. Oh God
> why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?
>
> "You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
> immediately
> shot down.
>
> "I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
> HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
> spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
> of death wish for their relationship!
>
> "Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
> is
> so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
> to
> imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
> daydreams.
>
> "I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
> is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
> he could put his hands over his ears
> he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.
>
> "The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
> She
> scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
> like the vermin
> she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
> about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
> hope.
>
> Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
> penchant for lies.
> "DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"
>
> Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.
>
> "I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"
>
> "I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
> doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.
>
> "I didn't!" Lindsay yells back.
>
> "YOU DID! I not only saw you there like that-. as if it wasn't
> enough! I heard IT!" Bobby informs her taking steps to ensure they
> are very far apart. The space
> between them feels like an empty vortex, that neither of them will
> recover from.
>
> "YOU heard it?" Lindsay shakes her head in exasperation and confusion.
>
> "YES I HEARD EVERY DAMN WORD! You pleading with him to-I heard it
> all! The kissing, your crying and I heard you Lindsay-" Bobby shakes
> his head disgusted he has to relive it all again and again. "I HEARD
> YOU BEGGING HIM TO!" He can't
> say it, he can't say the damn words. He's been crazy to think he
> could get over this
> without so much as a blink.
>
> "You couldn't have?" Lindsay asks her mind reeling with the
> implications. Her
> face is hot with embarrassment. How could he know? She didn't tell
> anyone. Would Ross? No what reason would he have to go into such
> detail. She feels her skin crawling with the idea that Bobby was
> privy to her lowest moments. And she knows how
> excruciatingly painful that exposing information would be to
> him. "HOW" she asks
> dreading his answer.
>
> "ON THE DAMN TAPES ROSS MADE!" Bobby scowls trying
> to hide the pain now is useless! Why has she forced this issue and
> why in the hell is she lying through her teeth about it now!
>
> "THE TAPES? He taped me that NIGHT!" Lindsay throat chokes as she
> realizes the full implications of his treachery, but just as quickly
> she registers yet another betrayal. "You were supposed to burn them
> and that damned book!" She points her finger at him accusingly. She's
> totally ashamed of her behavior
> that fated night, and she can't believe Bobby has witnessed it so
> intimately. She
> also can't believe he didn't follow her wishes and destroy the
> blasphemous evidence
> against her. "You promised!" She shakes her head as her entire body
> fills with fiery
> indignation.
>
> "Yeah, well you promised things too, Lindsay! And they didn't seem
> to matter that much to you either!"
>
> "You were supposed to get rid of all of it!" Lindsay shakes her head
> in disbelief
>
> "Yeah well I didn't!" Bobby hands exclaim his shock. "I wish to
> God I had!"
>
> "How could you listen to the private-"!  Lindsay is angry at the
> invasion
> and the betrayal. She's mortified he heard her that night. She
> remembers
> being desperate to find a way to let him go. She'd found it all
> right.
>
> "I could and I did! You're my wife. You ran away- Ross told me your
> actions
> and words didn't add up to him and he said you were hiding something!
> Dr. Ash
> said so too, everyone could see it! We just didn't know what the hell
> it was. Ross
> said he heard things you said that didn't make sense. He told me to
> listen to the tapes- Funny imagine that, another LOVER who can't
> figure you out!" Bobby can't resist turning the screw to his own
> heart. Maybe he hadn't evolved as much as he thought.
>
> "You had NO right!" Lindsay blushes when she remembers
> how desperately and wantonly she behaved that night. She remembers
> his reaction when he found her at Ross's apartment after receiving
> her cold, heartless good bye message.
> She can still feel the welt he left on her neck when he ripped off
> the diamond necklace
> he'd given her. His look was vicious, as if she was some threat to
> him and his
> sanity.  She remembers the stinging ache she felt as he
> held the broken chain in his hands looking at her with so much
> hateful contempt and she saw his anguish when he opened his fist and
> dropped the diamond laden necklace to the floor.
>
> She remembers picking it up after he left and how she fell against
> the door
> after it slammed shut, shaking with grief and longing. She knew he'd
> never
> forgive her, she was sure he would walk away forever. But he hadn't.
> She'd
> been so wrong about the way she handled everything! "How could you?
> How
> could you listen?" Lindsay can't believe he would want to torture
> himself
> even more.
>
> "I had the right of husband to know what in the hell was going on
> with his wife!
> I found out plenty on those tapes- and YOUR own spoken words led me to
> the truth!" Bobby informs her in a way that keeps her silent.
>
> "I KNOW THE TRUTH LINDSAY SO DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO COVER
> IT UP! And if you think it was easy to listen-" Bobby's disillusioned
> eyes bore
> into her.
>
> "NO you don't know the whole truth!" Lindsay argues ready to battle
> as long as this takes. And judging from Bobby's demeanor it won't
> be a quick war. She knows how painful his experience was, and her
> heart
> hammers guiltily.
>
> "Just admit you SLEPT WITH ROSS! I can't take going over and over
> this again and again! "ITS DONE! YOU DID IT! MAYBE I DESERVED
> IT- I DON'T KNOW WHY-. YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME-BUT I DON'T
> CARE LINDSAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK WITHOUT YOU
> AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP US THIS TIME! I I
> want YOU I want US! How in the HELL many ways and TIMES do I have to
> prove it to you enough to stop YOUR LIES!" Bobby shouts. "HE WAS YOUR
> LOVER
> SO NOW THERE I SAID IT LETS JUST GET PAST IT CAN WE PLEASE!" Bobby
> has a sinking feeling that the worst is not over yet. "JUST ADMIT IT!
> You don't get
> to lie to me ANYMORE!"
>
> "I'll NEVER ADMIT IT AS LONG AS I LIVE Bobby because
> I DIDN"T DO IT!" Lindsay snarls back.
>
> "I heard you pleading with him to take you to bed!" Bobby snipes.
>
> "YES YOU HEARD ME MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF- and you
> heard us kissing-."
>
> "I heard you taking your clothes off!" Bobby's face scrunches
> painfully
>  his heart aching from the image his words invoke.
>
> "Yes, I was wet- caught in the storm." she laughs humorlessly because
> the night was very much like this one. "I went there because
> I'd let you go- and I didn't know what else to do."
>
> "Casual sex is always a good answer!" Bobby's voice is deceptively
> low.
>
> "You outta know!" Lindsay snaps back wishing she could control her
> anger, but his denial in accepting the real truth she offers him now
> is nerve wracking.
> He's not taking this well, he won't accept that she deceived him in a
> whole
> different way than he imagined. And she knows either way, he's going
> to feel
> equally betrayed.
>
>
> "You really can't let IT go can you Lindsay?" Bobby says hopelessly.
> Maybe
> she wasn't lying about the Sara part after all. He knows now first
> hand
> how much he is asking of her to be totally forgiven. Forgiveness
> isn't as
> easy as she tried to make it look. He knows that now.
>
> "I have-let go Bobby, believe it!  I know what that was, or what it
> wasn't! But you won't LISTEN to me about what it wasn't with Ross!"
> She wants to scream in frustration.
>
> "Oh I listened to PLENTY!" The lion is roaring now.
>
> Lindsay wants to stamp her feet and tear out her hair, why in the
> hell won't
> he hear her!
> "WE NEVER HAD SEX! WE NEVER MADE LOVE! I never
> expected you to show up the way you did! When you did, it seemed
> like another opportunity to enforce that I didn't want to be with you
> anymore-.I did it because of Judge Hiller's seat - that's why! It was
> the day I left you the message remember-.when you came, Ross wasn't
> even there-.he was catching a flight. or at least trying to, I was
> alone-I had been alone in his bed. LISTEN TO ME BOBBY!" She isn't
> lying he can see it in her eyes. She's saying the words but his mind
> can't quite wrap around it.
>
> The possibility that Lindsay is finally now telling the truth
> and the implications of what that means makes Bobby a little
> lightheaded and nauseous.  He recalls that sordid scene in Ross's
> apartment
> seeing Lindsay in nothing but a robe. Ross's robe. Combining that
> encounter
> with the moans and fevered pitched utterances on the tapes- but he'd
> never found the next part! There was never another tape to solidify
> the ending to that scenario
> that had played over and over in his head, he always filled in the
> missing part, and
> it had been nothing but torture to do so. He remembers the betrayal
> he felt at knowing
> that she'd barely let hours pass from their last sweet interlude
> the night before, to her flying into Ross's waiting arms the next day!
>
> He'd been in HELL since that night. It hurt so damn much! After
> everything they'd worked for, all the old wounds they'd reopened and
> finally
> healed. All of that, followed by the earth shattering renewed passion
> found here at Laharve. He'd never expected it- her infidelity came
> out of nowhere and it killed him. He'd been trying so hard to
> understand and to find a way to let it all go.
>
> For whatever reason, she'd chosen to open those wounds again.
> But he was just as determined to keep them shut, to find
> forgiveness in his heart and soul. He was
> prepared to overlook all of it to have her in his arms again.
> And now to find out his torment was all for NOTHING! HE can't
> believe she would be so cruel to him. He knows he hurt her before
> with Sara, but their marriage was near the rocks then. Not like it
> was when they came back from their trip. It was like
> being newlyweds again! Life was sweet and beautiful and
> filled with promise. They were so close to reconciling and to have
> revived the
> preciously gained trust between them only to have it wrenched away
> without warning or plausible explanation. How could she do something
> so cold
> lying about what happened, torturing him with narrated and self
> inflicted pictures
> of her ultimate betrayal. Now suddenly it never happened. To say he
> is shocked
> is understatement personified.
>
> How in the hell could she have the nerve and heartlessness to
> do that to him? This can't be about loving him when she
> purposely tore his heart out? How could she ever
> convince herself she did it to protect him. She hurt the holy
> hell out of him! Why take it so damn far! He feels his emotions
> exploding as he realizes she's been even more duplicitous than
> he ever imagined.
>
> "Are you hearing me Bobby?" Lindsay asks quietly biting
> her lip hard as she sees the myriad of pained expressions crossing
> his face and shining in his deceived eyes. "I'm telling you the truth
> now, this is THE TRUTH!" Lindsay admits again to reinforce her words.
>
> "You lied about ALL OF IT! You never loved Ross? You were never
> going to be married?" He turns on her as though he's never seen her
> before his eyes are moist with unshed tears. "How could you do that
> to me?"
>
> "It seemed like the right thing- you would never have given up
> on us- I mean-. if you thought-. I didn't want to hurt you Bobby
> you have to believe- I did it all out of LOVE!" Lindsay insists trying
> to touch his arms as she gets closer to him but he snaps it out of
> her reach.
>
> "LOVE! You call what you did to me LOVE! Have you lost your mind!"
> Bobby lashes out the way he always has, because this revelation has
> him
> reeling. All rational thought has left him as he digests the degree of
> betrayal she's reached to SPARE HIM! What a joke! He shakes his
> head at her mouthing no, his mind is spinning out of control and his
> body is trembling
> with overwrought emotions.
>
> Lindsay stands there feeling his sudden abandonment keenly ironically
> her lips are still moist from his kisses her skin's still tingling
> from his passionate ministries. Her eyes are cloudy and tearfully
> emulate the sky outside. The worst of the storm is over, but the
> damage is done and there may be some things left in its wake that are
> irreparable. Lindsay holds her silence hoping he just needs some
> time.
>
> "What is it Lindsay? Is this about Sara? Did you decide Quid pro
> quo?" Bobby laughs
> derisively.
>
> Lindsay shakes her head. "No! NEVER!  Bobby I didn't plan it- it just
> happened-"
>
> "Ok I'm confused now Lindsay! What happened or didn't happen? Are you
> sure
> you even know!" Bobby's voice is contemptuous.
>
> "YES! I KNOW! I DID NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH ROSS!"
>
> "Oh God! You don't want to be under oath when you say that!" Bobby
> informs
> her scathingly.
>
> "I'll swear it on a stack of bibles!" Lindsay promises.
>
> "Oh really is that so, perjury is punishable by imprisonment
> Lindsay."
>
> "I-" Lindsay faces the facts he's right, she's had a fair amount of
> intimacy with
> good old Ross, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't so now.
>
> He takes full advantage of her guilt to grill her more.
> "And what do you call the kisses I heard and saw, I supposed
> you'll say they were innocent too!" Bobby asks becoming the
> tyrannical
> prosecution.
>
> "That is NOT the same as sleeping with him!" Lindsay hears the
> weakness in her
> own defense.
>
> "But you admit you nearly slept with him MORE than once?" Bobby
> pounds his
> point.
>
> "I-don't know- I mean we kissed you know that already! And ONE night
> we came close-a LONG time before you and I were about to reconcile."
> Lindsay rushes
> her explanation hoping he will see reason.
>
> "You don't call that cheating we're still married?" Bobby
> snarls. "Funny when I did it and our marriage was nearly on the rocks
> YOU called it cheating- we reconcile and you decide to do it or let
> ME think you DID it, with him and you do share kisses and nudity with
> another man-just when we were ready to renew our vows! So tell me
> which is it Lindsay? Was it cheating or not!" His tone is iron.
>
> She swallows hard. "I was the ONLY one naked! She flushes as she
> realizes
> how utterly incriminating her explanation is.
>
> He laughs scathingly choking back the tears threatening to burst out
> of his soul.
>
> "NOTHING like what you think happened, HAPPENED!" Lindsay's voice is
> raw and
> emotionally wrought.
>
> "SO YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Bobby glares at her condemningly.
>
>  "We kissed-we nearly-because I was out of my mind about you!" She
> looks squarely
> into his eyes and then as quickly cast them downwards. She wants to
> take that look
> from his face, she'd rather die than cause him this much humiliation
> and pain. She knows she's the one who brought this on. She knows he
> has to have his say before he'll ever
> even try to see past her transgressions. "Okay Bobby, you're right,
> what I did wasn't-"
>
> Bobby's vision has become myopic and he isn't about to excuse her
> behavior.
> "So you didn't have the actual sex- but you let me BELIEVE you did for
> how long now?" Bobby asks ready to throw her in a dungeon and
> misplace the key forever.
>
> "I'm sorry!" Lindsay begs him to forgive with sincerity and
> repentance in her eyes.
>
> "You're sorry!" Wow! Thanks!" Bobby feels like vomiting. When he
> thinks of
> all the times he agonized in his mind battling the sordid thoughts
> and images of her and Ross. Maybe on some level he deserved the irony
> of this, but right now, he isn't accepting or taking her deception
> well.  "How dare you!" His disgusted eyes look her up and down as
> though she isn't worth his gaze.
>
> Lindsay feels her body flushing in degradation and self hatred. She
> remains silent
> as she faces the error of her judgment. She never should have taken
> it so far.
> She can see his heart splitting in two over this. How could she have
> ever thought
> it was alright to hurt him so barbarically.
>
> "Bobby, you have to know-" Lindsay approaches him the quaking of her
> heart won't be stilled until he forgives her, he has to forgive her!
>
> He backs away from her cornering himself against a wall. His hands
> reach out behind
> him to touch the wall, he is trying valiantly to steady his frazzled
> nerves.
>
> Lindsay is afraid to go to close she can feel his desire to get out
> of being
> anywhere near her. She has to get through to him before its too late.
> "I LOVE YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU- I'LL
> ALWAYS LOVE YOU- THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE- NO MATTER WHAT YOU
> THINK- IN MY HEART THERE'S ONLY YOU."
> Lindsay's voice shakes the sobbing tears beg him to soften just a
> little.
>
> "I can't hear this! I have to get out of here!" Bobby searches in
> vain for his keys because
> they were discarded in the wet heap of clothing upstairs. I have to
> get the HELL out!"
> He roars wishing to God he was anywhere but here.
>
> Lindsay suddenly gets a burst of courage. She can't let him go. NOT
> like this.
> He might never come back. With the bravery comes a healthy dash of
> anger. What the
> hell is wrong with him! Okay so she lied- she was wrong. She had gone
> off
> the deep end and yes she couldn't disagree she had crossed some lines
> with Ross. But she hadn't had the full blown affair he was so sure
> she'd had, and that
> has to get through his thick skull!  "YOU KNOW WHAT Bobby I think
> I'll leave!" Lindsay voice is deeply penetrating.
>
> He turns back to face her. "FINE!" "It's what you do best!" He steps
> away from the door offering her easy departure.
>
> Lindsay didn't expect him to agree so easily.
>
> Bobby can see the hesitation and he realizes she's in no condition to
> go out side the way she's dressed. She's making empty threats. MORE
> lies. He
> can't take MORE lying. So it's up to him to expose them all!
> "Where the hell do you think your going to go in this storm?"
>
> Lindsay eyes flash she isn't about to let him wallow in pain, she's
> got
> to find a way to get him to the other side of it. After everything
> they've
> gone through, and all the beautiful possibilities before them she
> isn't
> about to let him throw it all away now. She pushes an annoying lock
> of damp hair behind her ear.
>
> "I don't know maybe what I should do is drive all the way BACK to
> Boston so I can
> find Ross and sleep with him! Isn't that what YOU want! I mean
> before, just a few minutes ago you were ready and willing for that to
> be the truth! As long as YOU found it okay in your self-righteous
> heart to forgive me- I was in your good graces- but NOW since I
> haven't had sex with him-your thinking I betrayed you more! Why
> prolong the agony for us both! So what do you say Bobby? Once I have
> sex with him, you'll be right- again and you can be the forgiving
> husband? Would that make it okay?" Her voice
> holds that steely assurance she uses in trial. She feels NONE of the
> confidence
> she's displaying but she doesn't know what else to do. She could lose
> him forever
> over this!
>
> Lindsay knows she isn't being quite fair, but what about anything has
> been
> fair? She knows Bobby is hurt, she knows he has a right to feel the
> way he feels.
> But she can't afford to give him too much time to screw things up
> worse between
> them because if she does they may never make it back to each other,
> and she wants
> that so much. She won't ever treat him so callously again! She
> silently vows she will make all of this up to him. He just has to
> give her the chance. "I'll just go have
> that little fling with Ross, that way you can have the adulterous
> wife you
> seem to need so badly!"
>
> "DON'T BE RIDCULOUS!" Bobby shakes his head knowing that if Lindsay
> is pushed far enough she would probably do it just to prove what an
> idiot she
> thinks he is. "You don't get to say that! Don't try to turn this
> around ON ME!
> I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE MANIPLIATED OUR LIVES INTO THIS
> GIGANTIC MESS! AND BELIEVE ME LINDSAY NONE OF THIS IS
> OKAY!"
>
> "Oh come ON Bobby you wanted to be the sanctimonious husband that
> took pity on his poor cheating wife? It's kind of fun to have the shoe
> ON your foot for a change especially after Sara now isn't it?"
> Lindsay knows this
> could be the ultimate end to end all marriages. She knows he is going
> to
> get even angrier than he was before. "I'm sure if I call Ross he'd
> be only too willing to help YOU out!"
>
> "STOP IT!" Bobby gives into the childish desire and puts his hands
> tightly over both ears. At least he's no longer standing by the door
> as his defeated body collapses on the stairs.
>
> "Oh why it's the TRUTH isn't it? What is it going to be Bobby! Are
> you disappointed I didn't really sleep with him at all! Because NOW
> were not even! And your
> still the ONE who cheated! Will you ONLY be happy if I cheat ALL THE
> WAY too!"
> Lindsay taunts him knowing she is pushing his every nerve.
>
> "You know what you did was unconscionable?"  The last thing
> Bobby wants is her to go anywhere near Ross Avery or Avery Ross
> or whoever the HELL he is!
>
> "I made some big mistakes…. but YOU knew I'd kissed Ross! You
> knew everything up front, NOTHING was done behind YOUR back! Nothing
> happened that YOU didn't know about- EXCEPT that I DIDN'T ever
> sleep with HIM and WOULD NEVER have slept with HIM! I LOVE YOU
> YOU! AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! YOU'RE HERE Bobby
> even when you were SURE I'd been unfaithful. YOU came here. YOU
> always know when I need YOU! And-and in spite of everything I've done
> and said and led you to believe your still here- you came after me-
> no matter how bad you thought it was- you were ready to forgive me-.
> for everything! Bobby! She stops the tirade because she's exhausted
> her
> emotions have been in such an upheaval lately she's ready for it all
> to be over, whatever over ends up being. All she can do is ask
> for forgiveness, she's made her point, he should be seeing it more
> clearly now, and if he doesn't, he  doesn't. "You were ready
> and willing to give me another chance, Bobby, you haven't let
> anything I've done, or you thought I've done, stop you from being
> here, so why are you now? I didn't know I'd ever tell you the truth.
> I thought I was letting us go forever. "I thought I was doing
> something
> good, for you, something that would free you to be-"
>
> Bobby's hand swipes the air denying she'd done him any good.
>
> "Okay I know, I didn't succeed in my misguided intentions and I'm so
> sorry,
> you have to know that, hurting you was never something I wanted to do
> again! PLEASE forgive me now-. Please-. I could NEVER have- I did go
> beyond- I know was unfaithful in some-"
>
> "YA THINK!" Bobby's ready to explode. Why doesn't she just shut
> the hell up nothing she's saying will ever take away the worst
> weeks of his life! HELL wasn't even as bad a place as he felt
> he's come from. He jumps up off the step and heads to the door. But
> as usual he can't do more than touch the damn knob. He turns around
> his eyes gleam skeptically.
>
> Lindsay, talks faster knowing she has to get him to come to his
> senses somehow.
> "I know it was horrible that I let you think-it was bad enough- But I
> had no idea you'd ever hear those tapes! That isn't MY fault! I HATE
> that you heard them!-I should have never let you believe it, but
> Bobby that's the worst I could do, fool you into believing
> it because I couldn't REALLY do it- ever-.EVER!" Lindsay eyes plead
> again for him to think about this clearly. He remains stubbornly
> quiet with his arms firmly folded on his chest.
>
> "I didn't LOVE Ross- I NEVER would have gone through with a marriage
> to him. I never intended to do anything but LOVE you for the rest of
> my life!
> When we left here, last time- and we had decided to renew our vows.
> I meant every word I swear! But then everything went crazy! I just- I
> got off track a little."
>
> "A LITTLE Lindsay!" Bobby's eyebrows rise in sarcastic agreement.
>
> "Okay I was WAY-WAY OUT OF LINE!" She admits it desperate to
> get him to see that what he went through is OVER.
> You're right it's what I do. What I've always done!
> I think I'm still scared to fail! But Bobby I am MORE scared of
> losing you forever,
> than facing whatever the future holds. As LONG as I have YOU with me
> I promise I won't ever deceive you or run away from you again!"
>
> Bobby looks away from her focusing on nothing but preferring it
> than to having to meet her traitorous eyes. Haven't they both
> suffered enough? But how
> can he forgive her lies about something so sacredly held between
> them. And at time when he thought they had conquered every doubt,
> every barrier. She lied and he'd suffered deeply. "I'm not sure I can
> even look at you right now- Lindsay…" Bobby swallows the burgeoning
> lump in his throat. He buries his head in his hands.
>
> "I'm here Bobby." Lindsay teary voice is not even persuasion
> enough. "I'm going
> to be here until you do look at me, and see that what I'm telling you
> now is the
> truth. "I'm standing right here Bobby." She reminds him of words they
> have
> spoken before in uncertain and painful times. She knows they will hit
> home.
>
> He raises his head morosely. He closes his eyes on those familiar
> haunting words.
> "I must have failed horribly at making you feel loved enough." Bobby
> turns it on himself.
> He has to find a way to take the blame here, because if this is all
> Lindsay's fault
> if she really did this, how can he live with it? "Somehow I let you
> down and you
> didn't feel secure." Bobby can't believe it but it must be true.
>
> "NO!"  That's NOT true, YOU know you were absolutely wonderful- it
> was me! I really thought I was doing it, ALL OF IT to protect you,
> I'd do anything
> for you Bobby, even something this unimaginable. "I felt adored by you
> again, and I knew how much loved me we'd fallen in love again. You
> showed me so beautifully. I really thought it was the only way to let
> you go, and for you to want to go."
>
> Bobby remembers how she admitted she didn't feel adored when the
> marriage was on the verge of crumbling. He'd let her say it, he didn't
> assure her she was. But she'd always been adored by him.
>
> "I just don't understand how you thought ripping my heart out, was
> going
> to HELP me, WHY don't you want to protect my HEART more than you want
> to protect my career?" Bobby's voice is soft filled with conflicting
> feelings.
> "You're supposed to be the one I can entrust it too, I just can't
> believe
> you didn't know what this would do to me? How could you NOT know!
> God Lindsay! I wanted to crawl into dark hole and never come out
> again." A few tears fall in spite of his effort to stifle them. He
> relives the recent weeks of turmoil and tortuous uncertainty. He
> turns his back on her because he can't reconcile her actions with her
> assurances of love.
>
> Lindsay hates to see him so broken. She thought that if she ever had
> a chance
> to tell him the whole truth someday, that he would forgive her more
> easily than if she had been totally unfaithful She has been so
> wrapped up in keeping up the subterfuge that she didn't take the time
> to focus on ALL the ramifications of her actions. She steps up
> to his broad shouldered back tentatively touching it with both hands.
> The
> feel of her fingers thorough his shirt, touching him so intimately
> causes a
> damn to burst inside of him. He shoulders shake with the force of the
> rampant release. Slowly Lindsay circles him until she is standing in
> front of him.
> Silently she opens her arms and even while his head is shaking in
> denial
> he finds his own arms pulling her to him. They both cry out all the
> craziness, pain, frustration and deep seated fears they've held inside
> for far too long.
>
> "I'm so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me." Lindsay muffled words
> calm
> him, hearing her voice always did that. Even if he was angry and upset
> with her, he found solace in her softly spoken intonations. "I really
> wish
> I could take it all back-but I can't!" Lindsay's filled with remorse
> and regret.
> What had she been thinking? He might never trust her again. She sees
> the irony
> now in her misguided intentions. "I've been a certifiable idiot!" She
> whispers
> softly into his ear. His tears have abated and he pushes her back
> from his body, staring
> at her absently, lost in a little war waging in his head while a more
> fearsome mêlée is occurring within his heart. How can what she did be
> forgiven? How can it not. He has to let this go somehow, shouldn't he
> be thrilled. She hadn't slept with Ross. He'd hated
> even thinking it, now he doesn't have to anymore. It's true he should
> be on cloud nine.
> Why can't he just let it go and accept her obviously heart felt
> sorrow. "I don't know."
> He utters his uncertainty out loud. Bobby doesn't know what to say
> next, he knows they are wavering precariously over one last cliff.
>
> Lindsay hands go up in despair. What will it take for him to see how
> repentant she is?
>
> Bobby sees her aggravation he knows those feelings well. He'd felt
> helpless
> and misunderstood enough times by her to recognize her expression
> easily.
>
> "What can I do Bobby?" Lindsay eyes plead for some kind of
> absolution.
>
> "You can be completely honest for the first time in weeks. "He laughs
> sarcastically.
> "Of course how can I really know what is the TRUTH when you speak?"
>
> "I WILL tell you ANYTHING you want to know, and it will BE truthful!
> I won't
> EVER lie to you again about ANYTHING!" She holds her hand up as if
> she is about
> to testify in a court of law. The only thing missing is the bible.
>
> Bobby wants direct contact with her eyes. He will know the truth, the
> idea of it
> has been eating away at him, he has to know this once and for all,
> before anything will ever seem right between them again.
>
> "I want to know about YOUR feeling towards Ross! I KNOW you had to
> have felt
> something-" his hand passes over his eyes because he doesn't really
> want to know the truth about this but he has to face it and so does
> she!
>
> "Bobby-" Lindsay is a deer caught in headlights, if she faces his
> question head
> on she will be hit between the eyes. And if she runs-well that's not
> an option because
> she has no where to go.
>
> "I KNOW you NEVER would have told him everything you did, without some
> kind of deep connection. You would NEVER have turned to him even in
> desperation-"
> Bobby apparently loves to torture himself because he's going straight
> for the juggler
> vein on this one. "You had to have feelings Lindsay, I know you-you
> don't let
> people in so easily."
>
> Lindsay eyes tear up, she knows he's right. She felt something. What
> does she
> say to him now? Whatever she says is going to be damning. She chooses
> her words carefully knowing her answer will make or break her future.
>
> "Never MIND Lindsay, your silence is answer enough!" Bobby shakes his
> head unable to stand there waiting. He's waited LONG enough for her.
>
> "NO! She grabs for his shirt sleeve just as he begins to turn away.
> "YOU'RE NOT going anywhere! You want an answer, and I intend
> to give you ONE!"
>
> "I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE TRUTH!" Bobby's strangled tone tells her
> she's got
> limited time.
>
> "I've told you Bobby, I met Ross by accident, I wasn't looking-I was
> still in denial about us-he came into my life-he listened-he was sweet
> and kind-and I felt-appreciated-and understood by him. I guess
> I soaked it up-because I never thought I'd feel that way with anyone
> ever again. So yes, the feelings I had about him were real."
>
> Bobby's eyes close as she speaks.
>
> "But HE didn't turn out to be real at all!" She explains quickly
> hoping he will have the fortitude to stick with her till she's done
> speaking.
>
> His open accusingly. "That doesn't change how YOU feel Lindsay
> trust me I know that!"
>
> "Yes, there were times I wanted to fall madly in LOVE with Ross!"
> Lindsay admission nearly sends Bobby running. "But I couldn't!
> WHY? Because I still LOVED you!" She paces in a circle now, similar
> to the one
> she felt she was in her whole life, repeating those insipid patterns
> over and over
> because she'd never quite gotten it right. "I never stopped! NOT NOW,
> NOT
> THEN! NEVER! What I felt for Ross was some kind of connection, I won't
> deny it, I feel connections to a LOT of people Bobby, Helen, Lucy,
> Ellenor,
> Bec, Jimmy, Eugene- and it was love, like I have for any one of them,
> a form
> of love, he was good to me when I needed someone who didn't know me,
> everyone
> here knew me before all the stuff we went through- but Ross accepted
> me as I am now, not expecting who I used to be. It was just easier
> being with him, it was nice being valued in spite of everything-. And
> I had no idea he would betray us the way
> he did." Lindsay eyes implore him to hear this once and for all. "I
> guess
> with the trust we had so damaged, I needed someone I could trust, I
> needed him
> to talk to, because I'd missed what we had so much."
>
> Bobby feels the iceberg melting inside, at least she's not
> excusing the physical intimacy with Ross, and he knows she
> is trying hard to come to terms with what exactly Ross did mean to
> her.
>
> "You were right Bobby; a lot about what I did was running away.
> I do it ALL the time. I've been doing it since the day I met you,
> because I've been so afraid, I'd lose you, it feels like hell to KEEP
> losing you over and over again!" Lindsay cries soulfully expressing
> the loneliness in her eyes.
>
> "Tell me about it!" Bobby agrees sighing deeply. He can't hate her,
> he understands her so well. He sees a reflection of himself in her, he
> always has. They both have so many fears about opening their hearts,
> they've overcome so much but there is still a lot they haven't
> touched.
> He knows the ONLY way they will ever conquer this is to stay together
> and prove themselves wrong. They can survive ANYTHING! They have
> been unified in so many battles. She's his partner. She will be
> forever
> no matter what. Is he really so full of pride and anger that he'd pass
> on a relationship with her, his life, his love, his soul's perfect
> mate? There
> never been any answer but the one happening now as he reaches
> for her offering her his hand, his heart his soul.
>
> She takes it, squeezing it tentatively smiling uncertainly through
> the tears.
>
> "You don't love him, like-"Bobby head shakes slightly he had to be
> sure.
>
> "NO!" Lindsay shakes her head vigorously.
> "Bobby I chose you too! You knocked me off my feet, and
> sprayed me with coffee. You let me think you were someone else, you
> disappeared and I thought I might never see you again, but when I
> walked into that office I was wishing it would be you. And it was
> you. It's always been you. I've never looked back, or even forward,
> really without YOU. You're the reason I grew
> into that woman you spoke of earlier. You loving me- I'd never loved
> anyone, the way I love you. Bobby" she struggles with tears
> threatening to muffle her words. "I was
> so afraid I'd never feel-you know! You made me feel beautiful and
> alive
> and gave me so much more than I ever dreamed."
>
> Bobby immunity is weakening, hearing Lindsay recalling the first
> moments
> of their shared capitulation begins to diminish his anger.
> "All I ever wanted was to make you happy." Bobby whispers.
>
> "YOU DID! No one else ever could the way you do! "Lindsay wants so
> much to
> be held by him, but she feels the tenseness of his hand in hers. "You
> don't know how
> it felt- she gulps a little feeling the ache return to her chest. She
> touches her
> heart with her free hand. "I-I- couldn't breathe thinking-" she gasps
> a little
> for the elusive breath just thinking about it. "Bobby thinking I'd
> never be"
> her voice breaks as tears flow freely. "your wife, I'd never feel
> your arms
> holding me-"Lindsay can barely utter the words.
>
> Bobby can't bare to see her in anguish. He's seen it too much. He
> knows
> her heart, he can feel it as he holds her trembling hand. He gently
> takes
> the hand she holds against her heart into his. He gives her a minute
> to
> calm herself, His thumbs stroke the top of her hands. She raises her
> watery eyes to his begging for amnesty.
>
>
> "You promise me HERE and Now that you've stopped this crazy
> idea in your head that you have to run ever again!" Bobby voice
> is soft but stern.
>
> He clasps her hand a little tighter as he waits for her answer.
>
> "I'll never run again, as long as I don't ever lose you." Lindsay
> pledges as he pulls her tenderly towards him wrapping her
> protectively in his arms. Tears of relief are falling unabashedly
>
> "I'm still quite angry with you!" He informs her softly as his
> fingers erase the cleansing tears.
>
> "I know-" She smiles fondly as she lets out a tiny left-over hiccup.
>
> He wishes he could hold her like this forever and shut out the entire
> world for eternity. But he's not quite ready to do that yet.
>
> "Lindsay Dole if YOU EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!"
>
> Her smile is full fledged now she knows he's started the forgiveness
> process.
> "I WON'T!" she vows.
>
> "NO RUNNING! NO LYING!" Bobby is like an adamant father who
> has been kept awake waiting all night for his naughty kid to come home
> from God knows where. She has to know the rules! "NO MORE FEAR! If
> either of us is afraid we talk, to one another or to Dr. Ash, it
> doesn't matter as long as WE TALK!"
>
> She nods agreeing as her eyes dance in happy anticipation.
>
> "I'm still MAD!" He reinforces the point because he knows it's
> useless for
> him to try to stay angry at her for any substantial length of time,
> and damn
> it she's always known that! Whatever resistance he felt before is
> melting away.
>
> "Bobby, I'll make this up-"
>
> "ABOUT YOU!" Bobby interrupts finally giving them both what they
> so desperately want. She feels his absolution as his lips part hers
> greedily.
> Soft moans followed by long sated sighs fill the silence. Slowly they
> move towards complete capitulation as desires ignite and all thought
> of distancing perishes. "I want you now, Lindsay I can't-"Bobby's
> whispers
> ardently.
>
> "Love me." Lindsay answers breathlessly.
>
> He pulls her up against him her arms embrace him to her
> tightly he lifts her feet off the floor her legs enwrap
> around his thighs as he carries and kisses her lowering her to the
> soft pillowed
> space in front of the fireplace.
>
> The flames of fire dance casting shadows of the two reunited lovers
> discarding the last
> barriers between them, clothing flies landing in puddles around the
> room. As they kneel together joyously embracing at last all
> misunderstandings melting into happy surrendering ecstasy. Waves of
> pleasure crash over them euphoric tides of reverberating bliss fill
> them up brimming them over in bubbling frothy delight. Palms meet
> fingers intertwined squeezing, clenching holding fast as they ascend
> to the stars and back again. They lay bathed in the golden fire lit
> glow reveling as finally they become one, one heart one mind, one
> body and one soul, harmonizing in euphoric universal song.
>
> "Bobby" Lindsay sighs in happy resignation.
>
> "Lindsay" He breathes her name as if it's his life's sustenance.
> &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
> A few hours later, Lindsay feels her body being gently covered with a
> soft
> knitted blanket, she feels his arms lift her, as she drowsily awakens
> looking
> up into his contented eyes. "Where are we going?" Her arms greedily
> encircle
> his neck.
>
> "Forward, Lindsay we're only going forward." Bobby assures her.
>
> She smiles sighing thoroughly sated.
>
> He ascends the steps stopping every two to kiss her a little more
> fervently with
> each detainment. Lindsay is giggling softly because she loves being
> treasured
> in his arms.
>
> Finally they reach his intended goal, their bedroom, and the freshly
> lit fire
> is glowing invitingly the bed covers are turned back beckoning to be
> enjoyed.
>
> Lindsay grins as she sees the advanced preparation.
>
> "I'm getting a little too old to spend the entire night on that
> floor!" Bobby admits
> grimacing to get some sympathy, as he lays her gently into the downy
> mattress.
>
> "Ah so I strained a few of those muscles did I."
>
> "Oh I think there's a bit of stamina left in here, you want to test
> me- to make sure?" He whispers in happy anticipation.
>
> "I think I really should do a through examination" She kisses his neck
> wanting to start the procedure immediately. "Bobby be careful, I
> almost
> forgot the broken glass." she reminds him still a bit groggy.
>
> "I took care of it my love, but to be on the safe side I'll keep
> your feet off the floor all morning!" He promises.
>
> "Ah-you know just what I need." She kisses his nose lovingly, as he
> settles
> down into the soft pillowed mattress swooping her immediately into
> his arms.
>
> "Lindsay, something's been on my mind and I gotta know before
> we-" Lindsay is beginning her hands on scrutiny of his body, kissing
> each possibly afflicted area. He sighs deeply nearly forgetting
> he has a mind let alone anything in it.
>
> "mmmmm nice." He drawls quietly hoping she ignores his earlier
> request to talk.
>
> She stops though leaving his ailing exposed skin feeling woefully
> abandoned.
>
> "What is it Bobby, are you still having doubts-"Her eyes penetrate his
> afraid the worst may not be over after all.
>
> "NO LINDS NO! Bobby has none left, "-its silly, you said it wasn't
> important, and I should-"
>
> "What?" She is trying to think of something she's said that would
> leave him in question,
> but she's clueless, and her hands would like very much to return his
> skin.
>
> "I just was wondering what in the hell had you all the way outside
> the house
> on top of the roof? You said you'd lost something?"
>
> Lindsay's hand abruptly goes up to her head in instant abject recall.
>
> "Oh Bobby, it's-I- if we can't find-" She is wide awake now
> remembering
> she never told him what happened.
>
> "What is it Lindsay? It's not the cork to the wine bottle?" He
> remembers
> his dismissive thoughts and he can see this whatever it is, has more
> significant
> than a cork.  "What did you lose baby, whatever it is
> we'll get it back, don't worry!" His arms extend to get her back to
> the
> comfort of his body.
>
> "Oh Bobby, it was- my rings!" She takes the empty chain from
> around her neck, she'd replaced it there after the rings were long
> gone, preferring not to lose anymore precious jewelry.
>
> "Your rings?" Bobby's eyes crinkle in question.
>
> "I wore them on this" She dangles the chain for him to see. "When
> I came here today, I wanted to put them on, I thought it would be the
> I-I just wanted to see them on my finger again-I thought it was
> the last time." She feels awful having to admit she lost them. Bobby
> had
> chosen and bought the engagement diamond ring long before he ever
> proposed, and when he did she loved it, knowing how he had held onto
> it through so many doubtful
> twists and turns. Now for it to be lost, she seldom got attached to
> material
> possessions but this, was one she wanted with her forever. This held
> so many sentiments and feelings.
>
> "You've been wearing them since-?"
> Bobby realizes now that she hadn't ever let go of him, if she kept
> those rings that close to her heart, and then it meant that's where
> she kept him too.
>
> She nods miserably. "After I'd left you the message- except when you
> were around, I made sure-if you'd seen-you'd of known-"Lindsay
> sheepishly admits. "I'm sorry Bobby I lost them and with this storm-
> they could have blown anywhere!"
>
> "Ah Lindsay don't cry, sweet one, we'll find them, and if we don't,
> I'll
> get you new ones-" He holds her tenderly against him.
>
> "I don't want new ones, I love my rings! You bought the diamond and
> even
> when we were so far apart, you kept it and I wanted to keep it
> forever.
>
> "I know it's okay sweetie."
>
> "And my wedding band, we chose those together- we were married
> without them remember? In my rush to change the wedding I forgot they
> were at the jewelers being sized, and you had Jimmy call and run down
> to the store, his uncle was so sweet to open up for us-and Jimmy
> brought them just in time, so we could take them with us, remember?"
>
> Of course he did, there wasn't one spectacular moment forgotten.
> He recalls the wonderful feeling as he slipped the sparkling platinum
> band
> on her ring finger, making her forever his. They'd only had a short
> weekend
> here at Laharve after the ceremony, and so it was here, fittingly that
> Bobby and Lindsay exchanged the matching platinum bands. They'd
> done it in the most sacred haven by the waterfall, the magnificent
> place
> was the perfect setting  to remarry one another in an even smaller
> impromptu
> ceremony. Bobby had phoned Claire and as usual she came through with
> and rice and a perfectly stocked cottage, complete with candlelight
> champagne and flowers. And of course a slight scolding too, for
> daring to
> be married without her and Sam at the ceremony."
>
> "I'll never forget how it felt to have you slip that ring on my
> finger, it felt
> as though you let me into your heart, that moment." Lindsay confides.
>
> "I let you in, long before that Lindsay, but I know what you mean,
> marriage
> is sacred, it connected us irrevocably."
>
> They kiss to seal the sentiment.
>
> She nods sadly rubbing her thumb over her barren ring finger.
>
> "They're just rings Lindsay." Bobby tries to reassure her, but he
> knows they
> mean more than that.
>
> Lindsay touches Bobby's left hand as if she's viewing a priceless
> painting.
> "You never took it off?" She marvels that through all the tribulation,
> and doubts, even immediately after they separated, Bobby still wore
> the ring.
>
> Bobby shakes his head smiling awkwardly. "I guess it's more than a
> ring."
> He admits as he squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Lindsay we'll get
> yours back." His fingers go under her bowed chin raising her face to
> meet his eyes. "You'll have them back!" He reiterates softly.
>
> "I won't take them off, ever again!" Lindsay promises. They kiss
> languishing in the
> reawakened pleasure of being free to express affection. Bobby strokes
> her hair
> deciding this is as good a time too get an answer to another
> pestering question.
>
> "Lindsay, that brings something else to mind. Are we-" Bobby's almost
> afraid to ask.
>
> Lindsay is happily returning to all her wifely duties including mind-
> reading. "NO! I never
> filed the papers, I never even signed them when you gave them to me!"
>
> "So we're still-" Bobby impish pleased grin.
>
> "Legal in all states." She assures him equally thrilled.
>
> "Ah-good, then when we took those vows-"
>
> "It was forever." Lindsay fills in his thoughts.
>
> "Forever" he echoes contentedly.
>
> "Loving you is the best thing I ever did Lindsay Dole." Bobby is
> scooting
> down into the covers bringing her with him.
>
> "You haven't done it yet!" She teases him. "My exam was rudely
> interrupted remember?"
>
> "Oh is that so, well please continue, by all means." Bobby urges,
> rocking
> a little on his elbow, lying sideways towards facing her unwittingly
> making himself
> all too available.
>
> "Ohhhhhh maybe I don't want to anymore!" She grins. "I think I'd
> rather play CRY UNCLE!" She surprises Bobby by pushing him over
> on to his back and straddling him by kneeling over him. She is
> holding his very sensitive fingers in her hand threateningly as he
> looks up in wide-eyed but complacent indulgence.
>
> "Are you ready to beg for mercy?" She taunts Cheshire cat smile in
> full bloom.
> "Come on don't you want to look me over." Bobby's entreaty goes on
> deaf
> ears, because Lindsay is more than looking him over holding the
> crooked finger as her
> hostage she bends over his invitingly languid body and begins to
> administer
> her best revenge. "This is for keeping me waiting on that roof in the
> rain!"
> She whispers kissing his neck and then his ears, moving saucily along
> his jaw line
> until she reaches his mouth and his alluring, tempting, and engaging
> lips.
> She exacts her most deliriously demanding form of punishment. Bobby
> sighs contentedly allowing her to whip him into shape. "I'll never
> keep you waiting on a roof again" he promises as he turns the tables
> on her flipping her over onto her back, their legs entangle and latch
> together mutual laughter shakes the bedding. Slowly the laughter
> fades away
> becoming soft murmured whispers, and happy ecstatic rapturous
> declarations
> of devotion.
>
> The two happily married halves rejoin melodiously and sacredly as
> one.
> All the darkness fades away, the ominous clouds depart making way for
> the full silvery moon and insuring the sweetest of future dreams. The
> deep clear midnight skies unveil twinkling magical stars just waiting
> to grant reconciled lovers their fondest wishes and most prayed for
> desires. As night fades into morning, the sun rises majestically
> casting a hazy orange-pink glow over the two euphorically sleeping
> lovers who will shortly be awakened to a glorious new dawn.
>
> End of Part 29
>
> This will pick up where it leaves off and then there will be Epilogue
> type
> of ending I hope you enjoy it! Sorry this got long but as usual
> I thought it would lose some punch if I broke it up in the middle
> of their confrontations. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear
> what you think, good or bad.
>

When are we getting that epilogue jewel? Don't keep me waiting

jewels_gold2002 <anjschneider@...> wrote:          Continuation from
part A Encore 29 with a touch of Soul B

She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
jeans
and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
he's been
running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
style.
She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
banister.

"I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
open
in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
survey
the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
fingers and
lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"

She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
away as possible, that was the
plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
within her heart.

He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
chairs.
She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.

She sips the tea for courage.

He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
going
to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
into
an admission so be it!

"You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
attack.
"I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!

"Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
that,
bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just wants to
trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
doesn't EVER want to know what
he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
and sleep.
Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
be bliss
right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
wherever
and however she wanted.

"Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
infiltrated
with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
together again.

"I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
He'll
get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.

"I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring! I
KNOW
Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
it.

Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
she
hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
family.
NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
anyone
else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
happen!

Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
of them, namely
him and she can do it again!

"OH yes I do!"

"You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
do!" Lindsay
says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
you know!"
She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"

I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
Don't you
dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
uniquely twisted
way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
she said! After
she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
you and that's what this is about!"

She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
set
of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
it,
penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
of this is useless.
"Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.

"Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.

"IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"

"BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
disrespected by
your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
slung through the mud! I know what
it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
shakes her head backing away a little
"DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
through it all
from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
you to be maligned
in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
judgment from anyone!
They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
you
to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
really are, who YOU'VE always been!"

Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
it's not
the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
NOTHING
more true in his life than her place in his heart.

"Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
roll.

"This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
hold the pain
inside. "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
distance between them making
sure he is very much in her face.

"I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"

Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.

"Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
know!
You mean everything to me! You are MY life! Why don't YOU know it!"
Bobby's head shakes in resignation.

"I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
so
hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
dawn.
But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
right thing
for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
fantasy to hell.

"The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
justice
system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
infiltrates every
corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
you!" Lindsay is
determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
your side
remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
way. Lindsay
paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
important to you!"

Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
every
moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
tell her
how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
now!

"IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
may never have come back from!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"

"WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
hands.
He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
him again! At least he's learned
to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
that!

"Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
to NOT be
good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
assault spinning
around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
her eyes.

"I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
IF
anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
her not to believe she's ever been less to him.

"You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
seem
never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.

"Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
regret.


"NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
have it associated with you
if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
unintentional play on words
People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
in a protective gesture.

Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
firmly.
"That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.

"Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
him to deny the truth.

"NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
to vibrate.

Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
"I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.

"Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.

She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
leaving- because
it has to be the way it is."

"NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
Youuuuuu
are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.

"I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.

"Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
again.
"What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
us! We
were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"

"You know the saying Bobby **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
can't do it."
Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
words.

"YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR NO's for an answer anymore!"
Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
it all
and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
he would ever know
how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
there
were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
what her mind rationally concluded long ago.

"Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
won't matter once you do that!"

"I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
don't
want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
things
don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
deep quick
breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.

"At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
company. But now-
and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"

"DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"

"NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
thoughts
she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
think
of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
NOT
that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
did,
so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
on the
son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
innocent one in all of this!"

"STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
"You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
fondly.
"And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
just as they did
that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
insecurities.

Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.

"Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
better."

Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
and it totally infuriates Bobby.
"I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"

"I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
someday, you'll see
Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."

"But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
closing arguments
and he isn't about to lose this one!

"It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.

"Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
once and for all out of the picture!

"And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
unmarried,
FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
say will change my mind about that!"

"No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.

"THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
stood right here
in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
together!"
What the hell happened to that!"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
was
wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.

Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
Bobby's
pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
towards her. "I KNOW
how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.

"Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
you,
yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
did that day in the
office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
him again. "But there's
also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
her.

"LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"

"Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
rarely ever
do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"

"NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
her again. They
keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
no matter
what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
continue
the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
surrender.
Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
making it absolutely
impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
words, words she loves hearing.

Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
"I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
little unsure
of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
contract with NO loopholes."

"Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
are aching
with unshed tears.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
did
want to spare you the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
stupid
uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
almost as much
as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.

"See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
fashion
that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
at all.

"I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.

Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
the irony
in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
own,
without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.

Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
They share
a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
greatest
stumbling blocks.

"You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
pleading.

Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
entertained
there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
inside of her too.

"This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.

"Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
do this! It goes
to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
and bam you're gone!"
Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.

"I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
indecisive about what
the hell to do next.

"There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
you remember HOW disastrous that was?"

Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
truth
here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
afraid.

Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
see
what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
the
one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
gentle.

She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
to be,
but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
at all.
She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
I wouldn't
live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.

Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
taking
full advantage of her vulnerability.

"I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
his quietly spoken reassurances.

"You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
now. She's
failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
best
for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
from her for his own good.

"Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
embracing her waist.

"Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
truth. "I've
turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
anyone
else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
steady. Without
you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
you and our son's too. So know this
if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"

"Bobby I did it all out of."

"-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
informs her
not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
misunderstanding
as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
his
heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.

"And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
drawing closer and closer to hers.

"But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
to be honest
I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
court seat
and I knew up front the committee had reservations."

"I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
but he
holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.

"Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.

"But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
this
to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
like.

"I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
them
and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
testimony. He
meant every loving word.

"I didn't know."

"You didn't ask!"

"You should have said something!" She snarls back.

"HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.

Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.

"How did you find out-I was so careful to-."

"Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
agrees. He
guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
are not exactly off just yet.

"So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
pillow with her free arm.

"Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
came
together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
time) "Judge Hiller
(he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
that you knew about all of it!" I finally realized what all this
bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
firelight.

"I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
She acknowledges
what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
her. More now
than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
her
great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
was
sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
easy
escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
She whispers
tears glistening in her eyes.

"We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
know that's true."

"I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.

"You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
She does as ordered.

"I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
any kind Lindsay,
if they didn't want you by my side-"

"You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
part
of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
ever if it cost him his dream.

His fingers tighten around hers.
"NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
slightly.

"This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
trees-
and Judge Hiller is-"

"One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
hiding along
the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
Lindsay.

"What is this?"

"It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
Judge Hiller gave it to
me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.

Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.

Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.

"Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"

"Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
blanks hoping
she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.

Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
after
he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
first paragraph unable
to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
He'd hated her then.
How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
hours
later?

"READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
document.

She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
how much he respected her, admired her courage,
how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
because
her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.

"How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
and unshed tears sting.

"Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
her
amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
to
have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
document
will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
public
any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.

"You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
could
have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
for
her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
slides closer to her
while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
His husky voice is just above a whisper.

"Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
it feels to
become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
future.

But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
he's
doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
"OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
springs into his arms in less time than it takes
to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
forehead
more excited about it than he ever was.
She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!

She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
she heard
right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
fully congratulate
him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
his, no THEIR third dream coming true.

Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
voraciously.
Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
hair pulling her head closer and closer as
their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
part lips breathless
and exuberantly happy.

"I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"

He smiles tentatively.

Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
be. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
I win I always think wow
this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.

"About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
this!

"Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
Lindsay."
He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
scared-too
I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
know I can
let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
the people in my
life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
she will be honest with him. And this
has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
express it.
"I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
into that guy I was."

"Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
of her faith.

"I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"

"NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
even a little, you'll
have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
happy
anticipation.

Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.

Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
feel her
presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
she does it,
sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
senses his need
to know she's there.

"I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
But I want
you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."

"Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
thinking." Bobby
grins sheepishly.

"When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
one she'll
never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
wife. She smiles
giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
thinking it, let
alone experiencing it.

"Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
into the courthouse
and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
loves to prolong
the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"

"Yeah… I know!"

"Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
gotten it."

"Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
his arms contentedly.

"She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
really hard
to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
mind
was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
continues with his story.

"All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
and who
the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
Lindsay
he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."

Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.

"I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
at me like she always does. "

"You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.

"Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"

"What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.

She said some really surprising things."

"Like what?"

"Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
finally made
her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
to see Lindsay's
reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
also said I gave
the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
little reminding tease Lindsay's way.

She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
them. "She never
said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
know
there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.

"Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
she isn't
about to give them up without a through perusal.

Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
reading the
final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.

"I know- hard to believe."

"NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
accomplishment.

"So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
approval to have
the confidence he needs.

"I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
grinning widely.

"You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.

"Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
rescue mission.

Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
deeper later.

"Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
entirely
different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
tell you.
I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
when I left was that
I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
this with."

Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
her.

Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
for her. Just as he saved this
haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
obstacles
she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
confidante, her lover, her everything.

"I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
time.

"Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
ashamed
of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
pressured her to use it
in any way publicly.

"You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
reading his mind.

"As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
feel
unworthy another day of their lives.
They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
never return.

As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.

"If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE I will
take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
edict.

"You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
behavior
she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
everything he thinks he knows.

"I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
were here!"
Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.

He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
space
or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
open their
lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
emulates
every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
moment before his
mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
body.

She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
of his
chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
his lips nibbling her
ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
beating against
the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
to ignite
their aching need within.

"I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
eyes.

She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
beautiful eyes.

"Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
slight change
of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
opposite for weeks.

There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
voraciously imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
murmuring puppet.

Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
hers
as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
God knows
it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
delectably his.

Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
it, but she feels a little nagging
voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
flesh is weak
and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
down his lips
catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
the invitation greedily.

Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
completely yet.

He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."

She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
shoves the
little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
reassurances of love.

Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
always his.
Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.

Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
trembling, anticipating
ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
her back the returning, piercing, nagging
guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
they
were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
felt, why is he glossing over it as
if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
feels
to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
pretend.

He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
him to act as if it
doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
Ross's
place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
She inflicted
so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
be reeling inside?

Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
widen in guilty
awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
he obeys her wishes.

"Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
into
his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
do to
this delightful interlude.

"What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
about
gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
little boy's
she knows. He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
of her neck.

"NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
Ross." She
says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
water.

Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.

"I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
little. She
definitely hit an exposed nerve.

"We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
over exposed
in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
revert
to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.

"I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
want this
OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
conversation now!"

"NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
edgewise.

"NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
what's done
is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
other
words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
robe.
`We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
reconciliation
without having total honesty between them.

"You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
she? "Bobby
you and I need to discuss this!"

"No!"
Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
down inside.

"Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
sooner
this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
promise!" Lindsay
eyes implore his cooperation.

"If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
YOU'RE right
he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
the possibility.

"I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
you think!"

"You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
stomach. Oh God
why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?

"You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
immediately
shot down.

"I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
of death wish for their relationship!

"Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
is
so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
to
imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
daydreams.

"I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
he could put his hands over his ears
he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.

"The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
She
scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
like the vermin
she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
hope.

Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
penchant for lies.
"DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"

Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.

"I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"

"I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.

"I didn't!" Lindsay yells back.

"YOU DID! I not only saw you there like that-. as if it wasn't
enough! I heard IT!" Bobby informs her taking steps to ensure they
are very far apart. The space
between them feels like an empty vortex, that neither of them will
recover from.

"YOU heard it?" Lindsay shakes her head in exasperation and confusion.

"YES I HEARD EVERY DAMN WORD! You pleading with him to-I heard it
all! The kissing, your crying and I heard you Lindsay-" Bobby shakes
his head disgusted he has to relive it all again and again. "I HEARD
YOU BEGGING HIM TO!" He can't
say it, he can't say the damn words. He's been crazy to think he
could get over this
without so much as a blink.

"You couldn't have?" Lindsay asks her mind reeling with the
implications. Her
face is hot with embarrassment. How could he know? She didn't tell
anyone. Would Ross? No what reason would he have to go into such
detail. She feels her skin crawling with the idea that Bobby was
privy to her lowest moments. And she knows how
excruciatingly painful that exposing information would be to
him. "HOW" she asks
dreading his answer.

"ON THE DAMN TAPES ROSS MADE!" Bobby scowls trying
to hide the pain now is useless! Why has she forced this issue and
why in the hell is she lying through her teeth about it now!

"THE TAPES? He taped me that NIGHT!" Lindsay throat chokes as she
realizes the full implications of his treachery, but just as quickly
she registers yet another betrayal. "You were supposed to burn them
and that damned book!" She points her finger at him accusingly. She's
totally ashamed of her behavior
that fated night, and she can't believe Bobby has witnessed it so
intimately. She
also can't believe he didn't follow her wishes and destroy the
blasphemous evidence
against her. "You promised!" She shakes her head as her entire body
fills with fiery
indignation.

"Yeah, well you promised things too, Lindsay! And they didn't seem
to matter that much to you either!"

"You were supposed to get rid of all of it!" Lindsay shakes her head
in disbelief

"Yeah well I didn't!" Bobby hands exclaim his shock. "I wish to
God I had!"

"How could you listen to the private-"! Lindsay is angry at the
invasion
and the betrayal. She's mortified he heard her that night. She
remembers
being desperate to find a way to let him go. She'd found it all
right.

"I could and I did! You're my wife. You ran away- Ross told me your
actions
and words didn't add up to him and he said you were hiding something!
Dr. Ash
said so too, everyone could see it! We just didn't know what the hell
it was. Ross
said he heard things you said that didn't make sense. He told me to
listen to the tapes- Funny imagine that, another LOVER who can't
figure you out!" Bobby can't resist turning the screw to his own
heart. Maybe he hadn't evolved as much as he thought.

"You had NO right!" Lindsay blushes when she remembers
how desperately and wantonly she behaved that night. She remembers
his reaction when he found her at Ross's apartment after receiving
her cold, heartless good bye message.
She can still feel the welt he left on her neck when he ripped off
the diamond necklace
he'd given her. His look was vicious, as if she was some threat to
him and his
sanity. She remembers the stinging ache she felt as he
held the broken chain in his hands looking at her with so much
hateful contempt and she saw his anguish when he opened his fist and
dropped the diamond laden necklace to the floor.

She remembers picking it up after he left and how she fell against
the door
after it slammed shut, shaking with grief and longing. She knew he'd
never
forgive her, she was sure he would walk away forever. But he hadn't.
She'd
been so wrong about the way she handled everything! "How could you?
How
could you listen?" Lindsay can't believe he would want to torture
himself
even more.

"I had the right of husband to know what in the hell was going on
with his wife!
I found out plenty on those tapes- and YOUR own spoken words led me to
the truth!" Bobby informs her in a way that keeps her silent.

"I KNOW THE TRUTH LINDSAY SO DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO COVER
IT UP! And if you think it was easy to listen-" Bobby's disillusioned
eyes bore
into her.

"NO you don't know the whole truth!" Lindsay argues ready to battle
as long as this takes. And judging from Bobby's demeanor it won't
be a quick war. She knows how painful his experience was, and her
heart
hammers guiltily.

"Just admit you SLEPT WITH ROSS! I can't take going over and over
this again and again! "ITS DONE! YOU DID IT! MAYBE I DESERVED
IT- I DON'T KNOW WHY-. YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME-BUT I DON'T
CARE LINDSAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK WITHOUT YOU
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP US THIS TIME! I I
want YOU I want US! How in the HELL many ways and TIMES do I have to
prove it to you enough to stop YOUR LIES!" Bobby shouts. "HE WAS YOUR
LOVER
SO NOW THERE I SAID IT LETS JUST GET PAST IT CAN WE PLEASE!" Bobby
has a sinking feeling that the worst is not over yet. "JUST ADMIT IT!
You don't get
to lie to me ANYMORE!"

"I'll NEVER ADMIT IT AS LONG AS I LIVE Bobby because
I DIDN"T DO IT!" Lindsay snarls back.

"I heard you pleading with him to take you to bed!" Bobby snipes.

"YES YOU HEARD ME MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF- and you
heard us kissing-."

"I heard you taking your clothes off!" Bobby's face scrunches
painfully
his heart aching from the image his words invoke.

"Yes, I was wet- caught in the storm." she laughs humorlessly because
the night was very much like this one. "I went there because
I'd let you go- and I didn't know what else to do."

"Casual sex is always a good answer!" Bobby's voice is deceptively
low.

"You outta know!" Lindsay snaps back wishing she could control her
anger, but his denial in accepting the real truth she offers him now
is nerve wracking.
He's not taking this well, he won't accept that she deceived him in a
whole
different way than he imagined. And she knows either way, he's going
to feel
equally betrayed.

"You really can't let IT go can you Lindsay?" Bobby says hopelessly.
Maybe
she wasn't lying about the Sara part after all. He knows now first
hand
how much he is asking of her to be totally forgiven. Forgiveness
isn't as
easy as she tried to make it look. He knows that now.

"I have-let go Bobby, believe it! I know what that was, or what it
wasn't! But you won't LISTEN to me about what it wasn't with Ross!"
She wants to scream in frustration.

"Oh I listened to PLENTY!" The lion is roaring now.

Lindsay wants to stamp her feet and tear out her hair, why in the
hell won't
he hear her!
"WE NEVER HAD SEX! WE NEVER MADE LOVE! I never
expected you to show up the way you did! When you did, it seemed
like another opportunity to enforce that I didn't want to be with you
anymore-.I did it because of Judge Hiller's seat - that's why! It was
the day I left you the message remember-.when you came, Ross wasn't
even there-.he was catching a flight. or at least trying to, I was
alone-I had been alone in his bed. LISTEN TO ME BOBBY!" She isn't
lying he can see it in her eyes. She's saying the words but his mind
can't quite wrap around it.

The possibility that Lindsay is finally now telling the truth
and the implications of what that means makes Bobby a little
lightheaded and nauseous. He recalls that sordid scene in Ross's
apartment
seeing Lindsay in nothing but a robe. Ross's robe. Combining that
encounter
with the moans and fevered pitched utterances on the tapes- but he'd
never found the next part! There was never another tape to solidify
the ending to that scenario
that had played over and over in his head, he always filled in the
missing part, and
it had been nothing but torture to do so. He remembers the betrayal
he felt at knowing
that she'd barely let hours pass from their last sweet interlude
the night before, to her flying into Ross's waiting arms the next day!

He'd been in HELL since that night. It hurt so damn much! After
everything they'd worked for, all the old wounds they'd reopened and
finally
healed. All of that, followed by the earth shattering renewed passion
found here at Laharve. He'd never expected it- her infidelity came
out of nowhere and it killed him. He'd been trying so hard to
understand and to find a way to let it all go.

For whatever reason, she'd chosen to open those wounds again.
But he was just as determined to keep them shut, to find
forgiveness in his heart and soul. He was
prepared to overlook all of it to have her in his arms again.
And now to find out his torment was all for NOTHING! HE can't
believe she would be so cruel to him. He knows he hurt her before
with Sara, but their marriage was near the rocks then. Not like it
was when they came back from their trip. It was like
being newlyweds again! Life was sweet and beautiful and
filled with promise. They were so close to reconciling and to have
revived the
preciously gained trust between them only to have it wrenched away
without warning or plausible explanation. How could she do something
so cold
lying about what happened, torturing him with narrated and self
inflicted pictures
of her ultimate betrayal. Now suddenly it never happened. To say he
is shocked
is understatement personified.

How in the hell could she have the nerve and heartlessness to
do that to him? This can't be about loving him when she
purposely tore his heart out? How could she ever
convince herself she did it to protect him. She hurt the holy
hell out of him! Why take it so damn far! He feels his emotions
exploding as he realizes she's been even more duplicitous than
he ever imagined.

"Are you hearing me Bobby?" Lindsay asks quietly biting
her lip hard as she sees the myriad of pained expressions crossing
his face and shining in his deceived eyes. "I'm telling you the truth
now, this is THE TRUTH!" Lindsay admits again to reinforce her words.

"You lied about ALL OF IT! You never loved Ross? You were never
going to be married?" He turns on her as though he's never seen her
before his eyes are moist with unshed tears. "How could you do that
to me?"

"It seemed like the right thing- you would never have given up
on us- I mean-. if you thought-. I didn't want to hurt you Bobby
you have to believe- I did it all out of LOVE!" Lindsay insists trying
to touch his arms as she gets closer to him but he snaps it out of
her reach.

"LOVE! You call what you did to me LOVE! Have you lost your mind!"
Bobby lashes out the way he always has, because this revelation has
him
reeling. All rational thought has left him as he digests the degree of
betrayal she's reached to SPARE HIM! What a joke! He shakes his
head at her mouthing no, his mind is spinning out of control and his
body is trembling
with overwrought emotions.

Lindsay stands there feeling his sudden abandonment keenly ironically
her lips are still moist from his kisses her skin's still tingling
from his passionate ministries. Her eyes are cloudy and tearfully
emulate the sky outside. The worst of the storm is over, but the
damage is done and there may be some things left in its wake that are
irreparable. Lindsay holds her silence hoping he just needs some
time.

"What is it Lindsay? Is this about Sara? Did you decide Quid pro
quo?" Bobby laughs
derisively.

Lindsay shakes her head. "No! NEVER! Bobby I didn't plan it- it just
happened-"

"Ok I'm confused now Lindsay! What happened or didn't happen? Are you
sure
you even know!" Bobby's voice is contemptuous.

"YES! I KNOW! I DID NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH ROSS!"

"Oh God! You don't want to be under oath when you say that!" Bobby
informs
her scathingly.

"I'll swear it on a stack of bibles!" Lindsay promises.

"Oh really is that so, perjury is punishable by imprisonment
Lindsay."

"I-" Lindsay faces the facts he's right, she's had a fair amount of
intimacy with
good old Ross, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't so now.

He takes full advantage of her guilt to grill her more.
"And what do you call the kisses I heard and saw, I supposed
you'll say they were innocent too!" Bobby asks becoming the
tyrannical
prosecution.

"That is NOT the same as sleeping with him!" Lindsay hears the
weakness in her
own defense.

"But you admit you nearly slept with him MORE than once?" Bobby
pounds his
point.

"I-don't know- I mean we kissed you know that already! And ONE night
we came close-a LONG time before you and I were about to reconcile."
Lindsay rushes
her explanation hoping he will see reason.

"You don't call that cheating we're still married?" Bobby
snarls. "Funny when I did it and our marriage was nearly on the rocks
YOU called it cheating- we reconcile and you decide to do it or let
ME think you DID it, with him and you do share kisses and nudity with
another man-just when we were ready to renew our vows! So tell me
which is it Lindsay? Was it cheating or not!" His tone is iron.

She swallows hard. "I was the ONLY one naked! She flushes as she
realizes
how utterly incriminating her explanation is.

He laughs scathingly choking back the tears threatening to burst out
of his soul.

"NOTHING like what you think happened, HAPPENED!" Lindsay's voice is
raw and
emotionally wrought.

"SO YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Bobby glares at her condemningly.

"We kissed-we nearly-because I was out of my mind about you!" She
looks squarely
into his eyes and then as quickly cast them downwards. She wants to
take that look
from his face, she'd rather die than cause him this much humiliation
and pain. She knows she's the one who brought this on. She knows he
has to have his say before he'll ever
even try to see past her transgressions. "Okay Bobby, you're right,
what I did wasn't-"

Bobby's vision has become myopic and he isn't about to excuse her
behavior.
"So you didn't have the actual sex- but you let me BELIEVE you did for
how long now?" Bobby asks ready to throw her in a dungeon and
misplace the key forever.

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay begs him to forgive with sincerity and
repentance in her eyes.

"You're sorry!" Wow! Thanks!" Bobby feels like vomiting. When he
thinks of
all the times he agonized in his mind battling the sordid thoughts
and images of her and Ross. Maybe on some level he deserved the irony
of this, but right now, he isn't accepting or taking her deception
well. "How dare you!" His disgusted eyes look her up and down as
though she isn't worth his gaze.

Lindsay feels her body flushing in degradation and self hatred. She
remains silent
as she faces the error of her judgment. She never should have taken
it so far.
She can see his heart splitting in two over this. How could she have
ever thought
it was alright to hurt him so barbarically.

"Bobby, you have to know-" Lindsay approaches him the quaking of her
heart won't be stilled until he forgives her, he has to forgive her!

He backs away from her cornering himself against a wall. His hands
reach out behind
him to touch the wall, he is trying valiantly to steady his frazzled
nerves.

Lindsay is afraid to go to close she can feel his desire to get out
of being
anywhere near her. She has to get through to him before its too late.
"I LOVE YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU- I'LL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU- THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE- NO MATTER WHAT YOU
THINK- IN MY HEART THERE'S ONLY YOU."
Lindsay's voice shakes the sobbing tears beg him to soften just a
little.

"I can't hear this! I have to get out of here!" Bobby searches in
vain for his keys because
they were discarded in the wet heap of clothing upstairs. I have to
get the HELL out!"
He roars wishing to God he was anywhere but here.

Lindsay suddenly gets a burst of courage. She can't let him go. NOT
like this.
He might never come back. With the bravery comes a healthy dash of
anger. What the
hell is wrong with him! Okay so she lied- she was wrong. She had gone
off
the deep end and yes she couldn't disagree she had crossed some lines
with Ross. But she hadn't had the full blown affair he was so sure
she'd had, and that
has to get through his thick skull! "YOU KNOW WHAT Bobby I think
I'll leave!" Lindsay voice is deeply penetrating.

He turns back to face her. "FINE!" "It's what you do best!" He steps
away from the door offering her easy departure.

Lindsay didn't expect him to agree so easily.

Bobby can see the hesitation and he realizes she's in no condition to
go out side the way she's dressed. She's making empty threats. MORE
lies. He
can't take MORE lying. So it's up to him to expose them all!
"Where the hell do you think your going to go in this storm?"

Lindsay eyes flash she isn't about to let him wallow in pain, she's
got
to find a way to get him to the other side of it. After everything
they've
gone through, and all the beautiful possibilities before them she
isn't
about to let him throw it all away now. She pushes an annoying lock
of damp hair behind her ear.

"I don't know maybe what I should do is drive all the way BACK to
Boston so I can
find Ross and sleep with him! Isn't that what YOU want! I mean
before, just a few minutes ago you were ready and willing for that to
be the truth! As long as YOU found it okay in your self-righteous
heart to forgive me- I was in your good graces- but NOW since I
haven't had sex with him-your thinking I betrayed you more! Why
prolong the agony for us both! So what do you say Bobby? Once I have
sex with him, you'll be right- again and you can be the forgiving
husband? Would that make it okay?" Her voice
holds that steely assurance she uses in trial. She feels NONE of the
confidence
she's displaying but she doesn't know what else to do. She could lose
him forever
over this!

Lindsay knows she isn't being quite fair, but what about anything has
been
fair? She knows Bobby is hurt, she knows he has a right to feel the
way he feels.
But she can't afford to give him too much time to screw things up
worse between
them because if she does they may never make it back to each other,
and she wants
that so much. She won't ever treat him so callously again! She
silently vows she will make all of this up to him. He just has to
give her the chance. "I'll just go have
that little fling with Ross, that way you can have the adulterous
wife you
seem to need so badly!"

"DON'T BE RIDCULOUS!" Bobby shakes his head knowing that if Lindsay
is pushed far enough she would probably do it just to prove what an
idiot she
thinks he is. "You don't get to say that! Don't try to turn this
around ON ME!
I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE MANIPLIATED OUR LIVES INTO THIS
GIGANTIC MESS! AND BELIEVE ME LINDSAY NONE OF THIS IS
OKAY!"

"Oh come ON Bobby you wanted to be the sanctimonious husband that
took pity on his poor cheating wife? It's kind of fun to have the shoe
ON your foot for a change especially after Sara now isn't it?"
Lindsay knows this
could be the ultimate end to end all marriages. She knows he is going
to
get even angrier than he was before. "I'm sure if I call Ross he'd
be only too willing to help YOU out!"

"STOP IT!" Bobby gives into the childish desire and puts his hands
tightly over both ears. At least he's no longer standing by the door
as his defeated body collapses on the stairs.

"Oh why it's the TRUTH isn't it? What is it going to be Bobby! Are
you disappointed I didn't really sleep with him at all! Because NOW
were not even! And your
still the ONE who cheated! Will you ONLY be happy if I cheat ALL THE
WAY too!"
Lindsay taunts him knowing she is pushing his every nerve.

"You know what you did was unconscionable?" The last thing
Bobby wants is her to go anywhere near Ross Avery or Avery Ross
or whoever the HELL he is!

"I made some big mistakes…. but YOU knew I'd kissed Ross! You
knew everything up front, NOTHING was done behind YOUR back! Nothing
happened that YOU didn't know about- EXCEPT that I DIDN'T ever
sleep with HIM and WOULD NEVER have slept with HIM! I LOVE YOU
YOU! AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! YOU'RE HERE Bobby
even when you were SURE I'd been unfaithful. YOU came here. YOU
always know when I need YOU! And-and in spite of everything I've done
and said and led you to believe your still here- you came after me-
no matter how bad you thought it was- you were ready to forgive me-.
for everything! Bobby! She stops the tirade because she's exhausted
her
emotions have been in such an upheaval lately she's ready for it all
to be over, whatever over ends up being. All she can do is ask
for forgiveness, she's made her point, he should be seeing it more
clearly now, and if he doesn't, he doesn't. "You were ready
and willing to give me another chance, Bobby, you haven't let
anything I've done, or you thought I've done, stop you from being
here, so why are you now? I didn't know I'd ever tell you the truth.
I thought I was letting us go forever. "I thought I was doing
something
good, for you, something that would free you to be-"

Bobby's hand swipes the air denying she'd done him any good.

"Okay I know, I didn't succeed in my misguided intentions and I'm so
sorry,
you have to know that, hurting you was never something I wanted to do
again! PLEASE forgive me now-. Please-. I could NEVER have- I did go
beyond- I know was unfaithful in some-"

"YA THINK!" Bobby's ready to explode. Why doesn't she just shut
the hell up nothing she's saying will ever take away the worst
weeks of his life! HELL wasn't even as bad a place as he felt
he's come from. He jumps up off the step and heads to the door. But
as usual he can't do more than touch the damn knob. He turns around
his eyes gleam skeptically.

Lindsay, talks faster knowing she has to get him to come to his
senses somehow.
"I know it was horrible that I let you think-it was bad enough- But I
had no idea you'd ever hear those tapes! That isn't MY fault! I HATE
that you heard them!-I should have never let you believe it, but
Bobby that's the worst I could do, fool you into believing
it because I couldn't REALLY do it- ever-.EVER!" Lindsay eyes plead
again for him to think about this clearly. He remains stubbornly
quiet with his arms firmly folded on his chest.

"I didn't LOVE Ross- I NEVER would have gone through with a marriage
to him. I never intended to do anything but LOVE you for the rest of
my life!
When we left here, last time- and we had decided to renew our vows.
I meant every word I swear! But then everything went crazy! I just- I
got off track a little."

"A LITTLE Lindsay!" Bobby's eyebrows rise in sarcastic agreement.

"Okay I was WAY-WAY OUT OF LINE!" She admits it desperate to
get him to see that what he went through is OVER.
You're right it's what I do. What I've always done!
I think I'm still scared to fail! But Bobby I am MORE scared of
losing you forever,
than facing whatever the future holds. As LONG as I have YOU with me
I promise I won't ever deceive you or run away from you again!"

Bobby looks away from her focusing on nothing but preferring it
than to having to meet her traitorous eyes. Haven't they both
suffered enough? But how
can he forgive her lies about something so sacredly held between
them. And at time when he thought they had conquered every doubt,
every barrier. She lied and he'd suffered deeply. "I'm not sure I can
even look at you right now- Lindsay…" Bobby swallows the burgeoning
lump in his throat. He buries his head in his hands.

"I'm here Bobby." Lindsay teary voice is not even persuasion
enough. "I'm going
to be here until you do look at me, and see that what I'm telling you
now is the
truth. "I'm standing right here Bobby." She reminds him of words they
have
spoken before in uncertain and painful times. She knows they will hit
home.

He raises his head morosely. He closes his eyes on those familiar
haunting words.
"I must have failed horribly at making you feel loved enough." Bobby
turns it on himself.
He has to find a way to take the blame here, because if this is all
Lindsay's fault
if she really did this, how can he live with it? "Somehow I let you
down and you
didn't feel secure." Bobby can't believe it but it must be true.

"NO!" That's NOT true, YOU know you were absolutely wonderful- it
was me! I really thought I was doing it, ALL OF IT to protect you,
I'd do anything
for you Bobby, even something this unimaginable. "I felt adored by you
again, and I knew how much loved me we'd fallen in love again. You
showed me so beautifully. I really thought it was the only way to let
you go, and for you to want to go."

Bobby remembers how she admitted she didn't feel adored when the
marriage was on the verge of crumbling. He'd let her say it, he didn't
assure her she was. But she'd always been adored by him.

"I just don't understand how you thought ripping my heart out, was
going
to HELP me, WHY don't you want to protect my HEART more than you want
to protect my career?" Bobby's voice is soft filled with conflicting
feelings.
"You're supposed to be the one I can entrust it too, I just can't
believe
you didn't know what this would do to me? How could you NOT know!
God Lindsay! I wanted to crawl into dark hole and never come out
again." A few tears fall in spite of his effort to stifle them. He
relives the recent weeks of turmoil and tortuous uncertainty. He
turns his back on her because he can't reconcile her actions with her
assurances of love.

Lindsay hates to see him so broken. She thought that if she ever had
a chance
to tell him the whole truth someday, that he would forgive her more
easily than if she had been totally unfaithful She has been so
wrapped up in keeping up the subterfuge that she didn't take the time
to focus on ALL the ramifications of her actions. She steps up
to his broad shouldered back tentatively touching it with both hands.
The
feel of her fingers thorough his shirt, touching him so intimately
causes a
damn to burst inside of him. He shoulders shake with the force of the
rampant release. Slowly Lindsay circles him until she is standing in
front of him.
Silently she opens her arms and even while his head is shaking in
denial
he finds his own arms pulling her to him. They both cry out all the
craziness, pain, frustration and deep seated fears they've held inside
for far too long.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me." Lindsay muffled words
calm
him, hearing her voice always did that. Even if he was angry and upset
with her, he found solace in her softly spoken intonations. "I really
wish
I could take it all back-but I can't!" Lindsay's filled with remorse
and regret.
What had she been thinking? He might never trust her again. She sees
the irony
now in her misguided intentions. "I've been a certifiable idiot!" She
whispers
softly into his ear. His tears have abated and he pushes her back
from his body, staring
at her absently, lost in a little war waging in his head while a more
fearsome mêlée is occurring within his heart. How can what she did be
forgiven? How can it not. He has to let this go somehow, shouldn't he
be thrilled. She hadn't slept with Ross. He'd hated
even thinking it, now he doesn't have to anymore. It's true he should
be on cloud nine.
Why can't he just let it go and accept her obviously heart felt
sorrow. "I don't know."
He utters his uncertainty out loud. Bobby doesn't know what to say
next, he knows they are wavering precariously over one last cliff.

Lindsay hands go up in despair. What will it take for him to see how
repentant she is?

Bobby sees her aggravation he knows those feelings well. He'd felt
helpless
and misunderstood enough times by her to recognize her expression
easily.

"What can I do Bobby?" Lindsay eyes plead for some kind of
absolution.

"You can be completely honest for the first time in weeks. "He laughs
sarcastically.
"Of course how can I really know what is the TRUTH when you speak?"

"I WILL tell you ANYTHING you want to know, and it will BE truthful!
I won't
EVER lie to you again about ANYTHING!" She holds her hand up as if
she is about
to testify in a court of law. The only thing missing is the bible.

Bobby wants direct contact with her eyes. He will know the truth, the
idea of it
has been eating away at him, he has to know this once and for all,
before anything will ever seem right between them again.

"I want to know about YOUR feeling towards Ross! I KNOW you had to
have felt
something-" his hand passes over his eyes because he doesn't really
want to know the truth about this but he has to face it and so does
she!

"Bobby-" Lindsay is a deer caught in headlights, if she faces his
question head
on she will be hit between the eyes. And if she runs-well that's not
an option because
she has no where to go.

"I KNOW you NEVER would have told him everything you did, without some
kind of deep connection. You would NEVER have turned to him even in
desperation-"
Bobby apparently loves to torture himself because he's going straight
for the juggler
vein on this one. "You had to have feelings Lindsay, I know you-you
don't let
people in so easily."

Lindsay eyes tear up, she knows he's right. She felt something. What
does she
say to him now? Whatever she says is going to be damning. She chooses
her words carefully knowing her answer will make or break her future.

"Never MIND Lindsay, your silence is answer enough!" Bobby shakes his
head unable to stand there waiting. He's waited LONG enough for her.

"NO! She grabs for his shirt sleeve just as he begins to turn away.
"YOU'RE NOT going anywhere! You want an answer, and I intend
to give you ONE!"

"I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE TRUTH!" Bobby's strangled tone tells her
she's got
limited time.

"I've told you Bobby, I met Ross by accident, I wasn't looking-I was
still in denial about us-he came into my life-he listened-he was sweet
and kind-and I felt-appreciated-and understood by him. I guess
I soaked it up-because I never thought I'd feel that way with anyone
ever again. So yes, the feelings I had about him were real."

Bobby's eyes close as she speaks.

"But HE didn't turn out to be real at all!" She explains quickly
hoping he will have the fortitude to stick with her till she's done
speaking.

His open accusingly. "That doesn't change how YOU feel Lindsay
trust me I know that!"

"Yes, there were times I wanted to fall madly in LOVE with Ross!"
Lindsay admission nearly sends Bobby running. "But I couldn't!
WHY? Because I still LOVED you!" She paces in a circle now, similar
to the one
she felt she was in her whole life, repeating those insipid patterns
over and over
because she'd never quite gotten it right. "I never stopped! NOT NOW,
NOT
THEN! NEVER! What I felt for Ross was some kind of connection, I won't
deny it, I feel connections to a LOT of people Bobby, Helen, Lucy,
Ellenor,
Bec, Jimmy, Eugene- and it was love, like I have for any one of them,
a form
of love, he was good to me when I needed someone who didn't know me,
everyone
here knew me before all the stuff we went through- but Ross accepted
me as I am now, not expecting who I used to be. It was just easier
being with him, it was nice being valued in spite of everything-. And
I had no idea he would betray us the way
he did." Lindsay eyes implore him to hear this once and for all. "I
guess
with the trust we had so damaged, I needed someone I could trust, I
needed him
to talk to, because I'd missed what we had so much."

Bobby feels the iceberg melting inside, at least she's not
excusing the physical intimacy with Ross, and he knows she
is trying hard to come to terms with what exactly Ross did mean to
her.

"You were right Bobby; a lot about what I did was running away.
I do it ALL the time. I've been doing it since the day I met you,
because I've been so afraid, I'd lose you, it feels like hell to KEEP
losing you over and over again!" Lindsay cries soulfully expressing
the loneliness in her eyes.

"Tell me about it!" Bobby agrees sighing deeply. He can't hate her,
he understands her so well. He sees a reflection of himself in her, he
always has. They both have so many fears about opening their hearts,
they've overcome so much but there is still a lot they haven't
touched.
He knows the ONLY way they will ever conquer this is to stay together
and prove themselves wrong. They can survive ANYTHING! They have
been unified in so many battles. She's his partner. She will be
forever
no matter what. Is he really so full of pride and anger that he'd pass
on a relationship with her, his life, his love, his soul's perfect
mate? There
never been any answer but the one happening now as he reaches
for her offering her his hand, his heart his soul.

She takes it, squeezing it tentatively smiling uncertainly through
the tears.

"You don't love him, like-"Bobby head shakes slightly he had to be
sure.

"NO!" Lindsay shakes her head vigorously.
"Bobby I chose you too! You knocked me off my feet, and
sprayed me with coffee. You let me think you were someone else, you
disappeared and I thought I might never see you again, but when I
walked into that office I was wishing it would be you. And it was
you. It's always been you. I've never looked back, or even forward,
really without YOU. You're the reason I grew
into that woman you spoke of earlier. You loving me- I'd never loved
anyone, the way I love you. Bobby" she struggles with tears
threatening to muffle her words. "I was
so afraid I'd never feel-you know! You made me feel beautiful and
alive
and gave me so much more than I ever dreamed."

Bobby immunity is weakening, hearing Lindsay recalling the first
moments
of their shared capitulation begins to diminish his anger.
"All I ever wanted was to make you happy." Bobby whispers.

"YOU DID! No one else ever could the way you do! "Lindsay wants so
much to
be held by him, but she feels the tenseness of his hand in hers. "You
don't know how
it felt- she gulps a little feeling the ache return to her chest. She
touches her
heart with her free hand. "I-I- couldn't breathe thinking-" she gasps
a little
for the elusive breath just thinking about it. "Bobby thinking I'd
never be"
her voice breaks as tears flow freely. "your wife, I'd never feel
your arms
holding me-"Lindsay can barely utter the words.

Bobby can't bare to see her in anguish. He's seen it too much. He
knows
her heart, he can feel it as he holds her trembling hand. He gently
takes
the hand she holds against her heart into his. He gives her a minute
to
calm herself, His thumbs stroke the top of her hands. She raises her
watery eyes to his begging for amnesty.

"You promise me HERE and Now that you've stopped this crazy
idea in your head that you have to run ever again!" Bobby voice
is soft but stern.

He clasps her hand a little tighter as he waits for her answer.

"I'll never run again, as long as I don't ever lose you." Lindsay
pledges as he pulls her tenderly towards him wrapping her
protectively in his arms. Tears of relief are falling unabashedly

"I'm still quite angry with you!" He informs her softly as his
fingers erase the cleansing tears.

"I know-" She smiles fondly as she lets out a tiny left-over hiccup.

He wishes he could hold her like this forever and shut out the entire
world for eternity. But he's not quite ready to do that yet.

"Lindsay Dole if YOU EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!"

Her smile is full fledged now she knows he's started the forgiveness
process.
"I WON'T!" she vows.

"NO RUNNING! NO LYING!" Bobby is like an adamant father who
has been kept awake waiting all night for his naughty kid to come home
from God knows where. She has to know the rules! "NO MORE FEAR! If
either of us is afraid we talk, to one another or to Dr. Ash, it
doesn't matter as long as WE TALK!"

She nods agreeing as her eyes dance in happy anticipation.

"I'm still MAD!" He reinforces the point because he knows it's
useless for
him to try to stay angry at her for any substantial length of time,
and damn
it she's always known that! Whatever resistance he felt before is
melting away.

"Bobby, I'll make this up-"

"ABOUT YOU!" Bobby interrupts finally giving them both what they
so desperately want. She feels his absolution as his lips part hers
greedily.
Soft moans followed by long sated sighs fill the silence. Slowly they
move towards complete capitulation as desires ignite and all thought
of distancing perishes. "I want you now, Lindsay I can't-"Bobby's
whispers
ardently.

"Love me." Lindsay answers breathlessly.

He pulls her up against him her arms embrace him to her
tightly he lifts her feet off the floor her legs enwrap
around his thighs as he carries and kisses her lowering her to the
soft pillowed
space in front of the fireplace.

The flames of fire dance casting shadows of the two reunited lovers
discarding the last
barriers between them, clothing flies landing in puddles around the
room. As they kneel together joyously embracing at last all
misunderstandings melting into happy surrendering ecstasy. Waves of
pleasure crash over them euphoric tides of reverberating bliss fill
them up brimming them over in bubbling frothy delight. Palms meet
fingers intertwined squeezing, clenching holding fast as they ascend
to the stars and back again. They lay bathed in the golden fire lit
glow reveling as finally they become one, one heart one mind, one
body and one soul, harmonizing in euphoric universal song.

"Bobby" Lindsay sighs in happy resignation.

"Lindsay" He breathes her name as if it's his life's sustenance.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A few hours later, Lindsay feels her body being gently covered with a
soft
knitted blanket, she feels his arms lift her, as she drowsily awakens
looking
up into his contented eyes. "Where are we going?" Her arms greedily
encircle
his neck.

"Forward, Lindsay we're only going forward." Bobby assures her.

She smiles sighing thoroughly sated.

He ascends the steps stopping every two to kiss her a little more
fervently with
each detainment. Lindsay is giggling softly because she loves being
treasured
in his arms.

Finally they reach his intended goal, their bedroom, and the freshly
lit fire
is glowing invitingly the bed covers are turned back beckoning to be
enjoyed.

Lindsay grins as she sees the advanced preparation.

"I'm getting a little too old to spend the entire night on that
floor!" Bobby admits
grimacing to get some sympathy, as he lays her gently into the downy
mattress.

"Ah so I strained a few of those muscles did I."

"Oh I think there's a bit of stamina left in here, you want to test
me- to make sure?" He whispers in happy anticipation.

"I think I really should do a through examination" She kisses his neck
wanting to start the procedure immediately. "Bobby be careful, I
almost
forgot the broken glass." she reminds him still a bit groggy.

"I took care of it my love, but to be on the safe side I'll keep
your feet off the floor all morning!" He promises.

"Ah-you know just what I need." She kisses his nose lovingly, as he
settles
down into the soft pillowed mattress swooping her immediately into
his arms.

"Lindsay, something's been on my mind and I gotta know before
we-" Lindsay is beginning her hands on scrutiny of his body, kissing
each possibly afflicted area. He sighs deeply nearly forgetting
he has a mind let alone anything in it.

"mmmmm nice." He drawls quietly hoping she ignores his earlier
request to talk.

She stops though leaving his ailing exposed skin feeling woefully
abandoned.

"What is it Bobby, are you still having doubts-"Her eyes penetrate his
afraid the worst may not be over after all.

"NO LINDS NO! Bobby has none left, "-its silly, you said it wasn't
important, and I should-"

"What?" She is trying to think of something she's said that would
leave him in question,
but she's clueless, and her hands would like very much to return his
skin.

"I just was wondering what in the hell had you all the way outside
the house
on top of the roof? You said you'd lost something?"

Lindsay's hand abruptly goes up to her head in instant abject recall.

"Oh Bobby, it's-I- if we can't find-" She is wide awake now
remembering
she never told him what happened.

"What is it Lindsay? It's not the cork to the wine bottle?" He
remembers
his dismissive thoughts and he can see this whatever it is, has more
significant
than a cork. "What did you lose baby, whatever it is
we'll get it back, don't worry!" His arms extend to get her back to
the
comfort of his body.

"Oh Bobby, it was- my rings!" She takes the empty chain from
around her neck, she'd replaced it there after the rings were long
gone, preferring not to lose anymore precious jewelry.

"Your rings?" Bobby's eyes crinkle in question.

"I wore them on this" She dangles the chain for him to see. "When
I came here today, I wanted to put them on, I thought it would be the
I-I just wanted to see them on my finger again-I thought it was
the last time." She feels awful having to admit she lost them. Bobby
had
chosen and bought the engagement diamond ring long before he ever
proposed, and when he did she loved it, knowing how he had held onto
it through so many doubtful
twists and turns. Now for it to be lost, she seldom got attached to
material
possessions but this, was one she wanted with her forever. This held
so many sentiments and feelings.

"You've been wearing them since-?"
Bobby realizes now that she hadn't ever let go of him, if she kept
those rings that close to her heart, and then it meant that's where
she kept him too.

She nods miserably. "After I'd left you the message- except when you
were around, I made sure-if you'd seen-you'd of known-"Lindsay
sheepishly admits. "I'm sorry Bobby I lost them and with this storm-
they could have blown anywhere!"

"Ah Lindsay don't cry, sweet one, we'll find them, and if we don't,
I'll
get you new ones-" He holds her tenderly against him.

"I don't want new ones, I love my rings! You bought the diamond and
even
when we were so far apart, you kept it and I wanted to keep it
forever.

"I know it's okay sweetie."

"And my wedding band, we chose those together- we were married
without them remember? In my rush to change the wedding I forgot they
were at the jewelers being sized, and you had Jimmy call and run down
to the store, his uncle was so sweet to open up for us-and Jimmy
brought them just in time, so we could take them with us, remember?"

Of course he did, there wasn't one spectacular moment forgotten.
He recalls the wonderful feeling as he slipped the sparkling platinum
band
on her ring finger, making her forever his. They'd only had a short
weekend
here at Laharve after the ceremony, and so it was here, fittingly that
Bobby and Lindsay exchanged the matching platinum bands. They'd
done it in the most sacred haven by the waterfall, the magnificent
place
was the perfect setting to remarry one another in an even smaller
impromptu
ceremony. Bobby had phoned Claire and as usual she came through with
and rice and a perfectly stocked cottage, complete with candlelight
champagne and flowers. And of course a slight scolding too, for
daring to
be married without her and Sam at the ceremony."

"I'll never forget how it felt to have you slip that ring on my
finger, it felt
as though you let me into your heart, that moment." Lindsay confides.

"I let you in, long before that Lindsay, but I know what you mean,
marriage
is sacred, it connected us irrevocably."

They kiss to seal the sentiment.

She nods sadly rubbing her thumb over her barren ring finger.

"They're just rings Lindsay." Bobby tries to reassure her, but he
knows they
mean more than that.

Lindsay touches Bobby's left hand as if she's viewing a priceless
painting.
"You never took it off?" She marvels that through all the tribulation,
and doubts, even immediately after they separated, Bobby still wore
the ring.

Bobby shakes his head smiling awkwardly. "I guess it's more than a
ring."
He admits as he squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Lindsay we'll get
yours back." His fingers go under her bowed chin raising her face to
meet his eyes. "You'll have them back!" He reiterates softly.

"I won't take them off, ever again!" Lindsay promises. They kiss
languishing in the
reawakened pleasure of being free to express affection. Bobby strokes
her hair
deciding this is as good a time too get an answer to another
pestering question.

"Lindsay, that brings something else to mind. Are we-" Bobby's almost
afraid to ask.

Lindsay is happily returning to all her wifely duties including mind-
reading. "NO! I never
filed the papers, I never even signed them when you gave them to me!"

"So we're still-" Bobby impish pleased grin.

"Legal in all states." She assures him equally thrilled.

"Ah-good, then when we took those vows-"

"It was forever." Lindsay fills in his thoughts.

"Forever" he echoes contentedly.

"Loving you is the best thing I ever did Lindsay Dole." Bobby is
scooting
down into the covers bringing her with him.

"You haven't done it yet!" She teases him. "My exam was rudely
interrupted remember?"

"Oh is that so, well please continue, by all means." Bobby urges,
rocking
a little on his elbow, lying sideways towards facing her unwittingly
making himself
all too available.

"Ohhhhhh maybe I don't want to anymore!" She grins. "I think I'd
rather play CRY UNCLE!" She surprises Bobby by pushing him over
on to his back and straddling him by kneeling over him. She is
holding his very sensitive fingers in her hand threateningly as he
looks up in wide-eyed but complacent indulgence.

"Are you ready to beg for mercy?" She taunts Cheshire cat smile in
full bloom.
"Come on don't you want to look me over." Bobby's entreaty goes on
deaf
ears, because Lindsay is more than looking him over holding the
crooked finger as her
hostage she bends over his invitingly languid body and begins to
administer
her best revenge. "This is for keeping me waiting on that roof in the
rain!"
She whispers kissing his neck and then his ears, moving saucily along
his jaw line
until she reaches his mouth and his alluring, tempting, and engaging
lips.
She exacts her most deliriously demanding form of punishment. Bobby
sighs contentedly allowing her to whip him into shape. "I'll never
keep you waiting on a roof again" he promises as he turns the tables
on her flipping her over onto her back, their legs entangle and latch
together mutual laughter shakes the bedding. Slowly the laughter
fades away
becoming soft murmured whispers, and happy ecstatic rapturous
declarations
of devotion.

The two happily married halves rejoin melodiously and sacredly as
one.
All the darkness fades away, the ominous clouds depart making way for
the full silvery moon and insuring the sweetest of future dreams. The
deep clear midnight skies unveil twinkling magical stars just waiting
to grant reconciled lovers their fondest wishes and most prayed for
desires. As night fades into morning, the sun rises majestically
casting a hazy orange-pink glow over the two euphorically sleeping
lovers who will shortly be awakened to a glorious new dawn.

End of Part 29

This will pick up where it leaves off and then there will be Epilogue
type
of ending I hope you enjoy it! Sorry this got long but as usual
I thought it would lose some punch if I broke it up in the middle
of their confrontations. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear
what you think, good or bad.






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

A beautiful end to a beautiful story.

   No other word needed.  Thank you Jewel.

Rosanna Battaglia <fuhgeddait@...> wrote:
           I've been MIA, but this story is phenomenal. Great
job!
--- jewels_gold2002 <anjschneider@...>
wrote:

> Continuation from part A Encore 29 with a touch of
> Soul B
>
>
> She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire
> dressed in black
> jeans
> and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little
> but she can tell
> he's been
> running his fingers through it in frustration by its
> every-which-way-
> style.
> She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers
> and grapes as he
> promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the
> fireplace. Oh God
> give me strength she prays silently as she holds on
> tightly to the
> banister.
>
> "I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so
> sure of everything
> he would say, but now, the time has come and he's
> almost tongue tied.
> She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The
> oversize shirt gaps
> open
> in just the right places leaving little to his
> imagination, his eyes
> survey
> the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch
> by inch with his
> fingers and
> lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm
> here by the fire-"
>
> She takes the last step down into the living room,
> only a few feet
> separates them yet it feels as though ever closing
> the distance is
> unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she
> could get as far
> away as possible, that was the
> plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by
> both storms and
> the one raging outside seems calm compared to the
> volatile skirmish
> within her heart.
>
> He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the
> overstuffed
> chairs.
> She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer.
> She can't sit.
> She feels as though she is about to be interrogated
> by a squad of
> Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her,
> she would prefer
> them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.
>
> She sips the tea for courage.
>
> He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore
> into hers. He's
> going
> to get this out in the open once and for all. If he
> has to trick her
> into
> an admission so be it!
>
> "You know what I said upstairs and I know you
> understood what I meant.
> You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes
> stop trying!"
> He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax
> as he waits for
> her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales
> and launches his
> attack.
> "I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will
> bristle over
> his convoluted words, and he also knows the
> vagueness of them will
> drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge
> something!
>
> "Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it
> when he insists
> on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction.
> He's always doing
> that,
> bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or
> he just wants to
> trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of
> the time when he
> does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so
> infuriating! She
> doesn't EVER want to know what
> he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's
> tired, her nerves are
> shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal
> with him right
> now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
> implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to
> curl up into a ball
> and sleep.
> Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world
> of dreams would
> be bliss
> right about now. In her dreams she could be with
> Bobby, whenever,
> wherever
> and however she wanted.
>
> "Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco
> you created with
> us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as
> he becomes
> infiltrated
> with the fear he's held ever since she told him they
> would never be
> together again.
>
> "I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about
> YOU!" Lindsay
> accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants
> to have this out.
> He'll
> get his wish. She's not even sure what she's
> accusing him of, she only
> knows that he's not going to worm out the answers
> he's looking for.
>
> "I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about
> Hiller retiring! I
> KNOW
> Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case
> daring her to deny
> it.
>
> Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He
> can't have
> figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did
> and why? How
> he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on
> earth that knows,
> she
> hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as
> she questions
> her actions and second guesses all her encounters
> with friends and
> family.
> NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made
> damn sure
> it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never
> putting it in
> anyone
> else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER
> supposed to
> happen!
>
>
> Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here
> because he's
> been rejected for the judges position and she's done
> all of this for
> NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay
> challenges his
> ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if
> she did this for
> nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's
> not about to make
> this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's
> filibustered with the best
> of them, namely
> him and she can do it again!
>
> "OH yes I do!"
>
> "You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong
> conclusions you always
> do!" Lindsay
> says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't
> know what you THINK
> you know!"
> She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"
>
> I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously.
> "Kittleson told YOU!
> Don't you
> dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you
> found out about the
> seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this
> in her own
> uniquely twisted
> way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I
> can imagine what
> she said! After
> she got through with you, I know you decided to
> sacrifice yourself
>
=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________________
Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate
in the Yahoo! Answers Food & Drink Q&A.
http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list&sid=396545367





---------------------------------
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  with theYahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I've been MIA, but this story is phenomenal. Great
job!
--- jewels_gold2002 <anjschneider@...>
wrote:

> Continuation from part A Encore 29 with a touch of
> Soul B
>
>
> She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire
> dressed in black
> jeans
> and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little
> but she can tell
> he's been
> running his fingers through it in frustration by its
> every-which-way-
> style.
>  She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers
> and grapes as he
> promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the
> fireplace. Oh God
> give me strength she prays silently as she holds on
> tightly to the
> banister.
>
> "I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so
> sure of everything
> he would say, but now, the time has come and he's
> almost tongue tied.
> She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The
> oversize shirt gaps
> open
> in just the right places leaving little to his
> imagination, his eyes
> survey
> the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch
> by inch with his
> fingers and
> lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm
> here by the fire-"
>
> She takes the last step down into the living room,
> only a few feet
> separates them yet it feels as though ever closing
> the distance is
> unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she
> could get as far
> away as possible, that was the
> plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by
> both storms and
> the one raging outside seems calm compared to the
> volatile skirmish
> within her heart.
>
> He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the
> overstuffed
> chairs.
> She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer.
> She can't sit.
> She feels as though she is about to be interrogated
> by a squad of
> Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her,
> she would prefer
> them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.
>
> She sips the tea for courage.
>
> He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore
> into hers. He's
> going
> to get this out in the open once and for all. If he
> has to trick her
> into
> an admission so be it!
>
> "You know what I said upstairs and I know you
> understood what I meant.
> You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes
> stop trying!"
> He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax
> as he waits for
> her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales
> and launches his
> attack.
> "I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will
> bristle over
> his convoluted words, and he also knows the
> vagueness of them will
> drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge
> something!
>
> "Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it
> when he insists
> on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction.
> He's always doing
> that,
> bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or
> he just  wants to
> trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of
> the time when he
> does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so
> infuriating! She
> doesn't EVER want to know what
> he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's
> tired, her nerves are
> shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal
> with him right
> now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
> implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to
> curl up into a ball
> and sleep.
> Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world
> of dreams would
> be bliss
> right about now. In her dreams she could be with
> Bobby, whenever,
> wherever
> and however she wanted.
>
> "Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco
> you created with
> us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as
> he becomes
> infiltrated
> with the fear he's held ever since she told him they
> would never be
> together again.
>
> "I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about
> YOU!" Lindsay
> accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants
> to have this out.
> He'll
> get his wish. She's not even sure what she's
> accusing him of, she only
> knows that he's not going to worm out the answers
> he's looking for.
>
> "I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about
> Hiller retiring!  I
> KNOW
> Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case
> daring her to deny
> it.
>
> Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He
> can't have
> figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did
> and why? How
> he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on
> earth that knows,
> she
> hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as
> she questions
> her actions and second guesses all her encounters
> with friends and
> family.
> NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made
> damn sure
> it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never
> putting it in
> anyone
> else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER
> supposed to
> happen!
>
>
>  Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here
> because he's
> been rejected for the judges position and she's done
> all of this for
> NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay
> challenges his
> ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if
> she did this for
> nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's
> not about to make
> this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's
> filibustered with the best
> of them, namely
> him and she can do it again!
>
> "OH yes I do!"
>
> "You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong
> conclusions you always
> do!" Lindsay
> says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't
> know what you THINK
> you know!"
> She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"
>
> I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously.
> "Kittleson told YOU!
> Don't you
> dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you
> found out about the
> seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this
> in her own
> uniquely twisted
> way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I
> can imagine what
> she said! After
> she got through with you, I know you decided to
> sacrifice yourself
>
=== message truncated ===




________________________________________________________________________________\
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Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate
in the Yahoo! Answers Food & Drink Q&A.
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i love this part. i love the writing dynamics. i love the bantering between
bobby and lindsay. I miss this show!! lol. i cant wait to read the  last two
installments.

jewels_gold2002 <anjschneider@...> wrote:          ENCORE With a TOUCH
OF SOUL Part 29

Disclaimer: You know what it means.

Ok and I gave up using … etceteras marks because the message board
puts all kinds of other symbols, so there are dashes in between where
etceteras marks would be in the dialogue I hope that works! Anyway
its long and hopefully again worth your wait!

Thanks for letting me know you are still enjoying this by some
miracle after
all this time! &#61514; I appreciate all the sweet support!
&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby is speeding he knows it, but he doesn't give a damn. He is
about half way
there. His mind is conflicted and racing, his heart is palpitating
with the excitement and
and anticipation of finding her at last! What in the hell was she
thinking!
He goes between euphoric happiness and irritated annoyance. HOW DARE
she unilaterally decided what was best for him again! DAMN! Why
in the HELL would she put him through this for a STUPID JOB!

What happened to open, honest communication? Okay, so he wasn't
open and honest about the judge's committee. But he had his reasons!
A little reasonable voice inside his head (he has finally taken to
listening
to lately) reminds him she had hers too. He smiles as he
remembers again sharing his dreams with her. His emotions are
are like a seesaw. One minute he is overcome with elation and the next
he can't believe she'd run away from him again. He becomes
furious with her for having done all this to protect him. He didn't
need
protecting! He needed her! She's all he's ever needed.

At least he knows she is still there he called Claire as soon as he
started out.
No sense in behaving foolishly and not double-checking his instincts,
unlike
a bunch of his so-called-friends back in Boston. But he knows they
only
had his welfare at heart so some day after he has harassed them
mercilessly about their mistake, especially HELEN, he will forgive
them
and even thank them.

He smiles broadly, as he thinks about his conversation with Claire.
He knows
she is as loyal as Sam but much more likely to spill the truth because
she has that innate sense of when it's okay to dishonor your word
that Sam
does not. He was glad Claire is the one who answered his call. The
last
thing he wanted was another `chicken analogy' from Sam. He laughs
aloud
as he recalls the exchange word for word.

`Claire it's Bobby.'

`Yeah I'm fine, listen I need you to answer a question. I need a
straight answer
and I need it NOW!'

`Sure Bobby what is it?' Claire's voice had sounded hopeful.

`DO YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER HAD OR RAISED ANY CHICKENS, HENS,
or ROOSTERS?' Bobby asked it doing his best not to sound like a
lawyer but failed miserably.

Claire's triumphant laughter is still ringing in his ears.

`TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!' She had exclaimed.

`Yeah well, YOUR husband is one strange man!"

`I know strange and wonderful, as is your wife.' She had teased
apparently feeling free to
drop a few more hints.

`Tell me is the hen hanging out with the chick at your place?' Bobby
asked
deciding its kind of fun to sound crazy sometimes. He'd never admit
that to Sam.

`Well no, the chick is with me the Hen chose another Hen House for
the night
but I think she definitely plans to flee the coop tomorrow morning.'

`Well I think she'll be changing that flight plan if her ROOSTER has
anything
to say about it!' Bobby had happily informed Claire.

`Bobby, you're going to tease Sam forever about this aren't you?'

"Ohhhhhhh Yeah! And a day!' Bobby admitted coming up with all kinds
of torture for
Claire's poor unsuspecting husband.

`Good he deserves it! I've never heard such a lame analogy in all my
life.' Claire
laughed along with Bobby. It felt so good to feel free to laugh again
about anything.

`Bobby do you want us to let her know you're on your way?" Claire
offered.

`OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You leave this to me!' Bobby
ordered relishing the thrill of surprise. Yes, this is one time
Lindsay Dole
needed to be taught a lesson about giving him up, for some greater
purpose.
The first time she'd done it was so Helen could have him, like he ever
really wanted her! And now she's doing it all over again to make sure
he gets
a seat on the bench! Only God knows what she'd relinquish him for
next! No way is this going to happen ever again! He intended on
getting this through her thick skull once and for all!

`Bobby go easy on her, whatever has happened I know that hen is just
as in love with you as she's always been.' Claire said it so assuredly
that it brought a contented smile to Bobby's face. He can hardly wait
to get there.

`I love her too, just as much as- I need to tell her.' Bobby frowned
because
somehow he had failed to make her believe it once again.

`I'm so happy this is the way it's supposed to be!' Claire sounded a
little teary.

`Claire, from your mouth to God's ear!' Bobby had agreed.

`Oh and Bobby the weather forecast isn't good so drive carefully
there's rain and thunderstorms predicted. By the way, I knew you'd
come.'
Claire had said letting him know her intuition was healthy as ever.

`Somehow that doesn't surprise me!' Bobby had experienced many
of Claire's moments of clairvoyance he knew better than to challenge
anything she said. `I'll see you soon Claire, but first I'm going to
find my wife. Bobby Jr. is doing okay?' He asked suddenly longing to
hug his boy.

`He'll being doing great once his thick-headed parents reunite!'
Claire
had never been one to spare Bobby any truths.

`Yeah, Me too! Bye.'

Bobby smiled again grinning like a maniac as he recalled the whole
conversation for about the tenth time. He'd remembered to phone Bec
too, asking her to please rent
a mini-van for Ellenor while he was away. He had no intention of
rushing this
reunion. He wanted it to last a lifetime, and no matter what it took
he wasn't
leaving without his wife and son by his side. If he had to pay for
the mini-van
rental for a month it would be chicken feed compared- Bobby can't
believe how easily
chickens infiltrate your mind. He smiles trying to envision the look
on Lindsay face
when she sees him show up. He's can't wait to have her stammering and
stuttering
and trying to come up with a defense for her lapse of rational
thinking. He will delight
in teasing the hell out of her before he lets her off the hook this
time.

His thoughts take a more serious turn as he remembers it won't be all
fun
and games. NO. There's been a great deal misunderstanding that have
caused needless pain and suffering for them both. He's had the worst
time of his life this last few weeks and he doesn't intend to ever
repeat
the experience. He knows they are going to have to come to terms with
Ross
and the ramifications of her relationship with him. Ross loved
Lindsay, and
she may have had feelings. He doesn't want to go there. But he can't
quite
understand how she opened up to Ross so completely, Lindsay had been
cautious with new acquaintances, a background check wouldn't have
satisfied her doubt. She'd been through so much, who could blame her?

She had to protect herself, and he understood why. But with Ross she
let
all her guards down. Why would she do that, if she didn't care for
him at
least a little? He knows Ross's betrayal had been devastating to her,
he'd been
there to bandage the wounds. She denied loving Ross, and maybe he
believes
she doesn't, but there was something there. Lindsay would never have
turned to Ross and
confided as she had if there wasn't. He knows he should just
wait and talk to her, but his mind has become a masterful torture
chamber
lately, and he can't seem to stop it from laying on that bed of nails
even now.

Dr. Ash- He chuckles when he thinks of her appearing out of no where
with the
others to rescue him. He knows how lucky he and Lindsay were to find
her.
He wonders if she is feeling the same way after today.

Which one of the office busy-bodies enlisted her help? He guesses
Lucy, or maybe Helen. For all he knew Helen had the same shrink. God
knows she could use one! His thoughts return to the reason why he
thought of his therapist. Dr Ash told him he had
to be ready to forgive Lindsay for the infidelity. His mind accepts
it, and
understands it, but his heart is another story. It hurt like HELL!
Tears zing
his eyes and he wipes them away preferring the road not to go blurry
while
he's driving. He will have to talk to her about it. He has to find a
way
for it NOT to matter and mean it forever. He can't go throwing it in
her
face all the time. He knows all too well how difficult it is to hear
about
your past indiscretions every time you turn around. And who is he
NOT to forgive Lindsay after what he had done. But his devil's
advocate
reasoning goes into overdrive on this point, because he and Lindsay
were
as far apart as two hardly married people can get when he stupidly
cheated.

He's NOT making excuses. He shouldn't have done it period! But that
rebel of a male chauvinist pig still residing deep inside is having a
hard time saying what Lindsay'd done was the same thing. They had
RECONCILED! They were ready to tell
their son! They were planning on buying a house! They even talked
about having
another child!

They were having the time of their live, planning, and dreaming about
everything.
It was like falling in love all over again. He'd put his heart, his
soul, and his life in her hands. He trusted her NOT to stomp all over
it. But she did. And even in her great scheme of altruistic inanity
he doesn't see ANY reason why she chose to sleep with Ross! She
couldn't have done it just to prove to him she didn't want to be with
him. Why the HELL did she do it? He needs answers. He needs to
understand her motivation and above all he needs to know there are NO
residual feelings for Ross. He can't live
with that.

YES HE CAN! He hits the steering wheel so hard he half expects the
airbags
to come crashing over him.

He has about a half hour to go. He damn well better reconcile his
feelings on the
subject before he sees Lindsay. Ross's involvement with Lindsay isn't
going to stop him.
Ross seemed to have given up on securing Lindsay's love, otherwise
he'd never
been in that court room encouraging Bobby, to believe in his wife's
loyalty.
He knows he has to stop these insane waves of jealousy whenever he
thinks of Ross.
He knows Ross loves Lindsay, ironically he understands Ross too well.
He knows
what it feels like to think its unrequited love, he knows what its
like to have tasted it
and lose instantly it without warning. He also knows that he would
fight to the
death to win it back. Ross didn't seem to be in a fighting mood? Why
has
he given up so easily, Bobby's thrilled he has, but is it really
because Lindsay never
loved him and he knew it?

He read everything Ross wrote, not on one page were there references
to Lindsay's
conflicted feelings for Ross. And if there ever were feelings on her
part his treachery in writing an unauthorized account of Lindsay's
and Bobby's life must have put an abrupt end to it. She loves him.
She married HIM. She gave up their life for HIM!

But that ONE tape the tape he can't seem to vanquish from his mind is
the
thing that has him still reeling. She made love to Ross, she wanted
him, to
help her forget him. He heard her voice. He heard the desperation in
her
pleas. He heard way more than he ever bargained for. Why? Why had she
done it if she loved him the way he knows now, she still does? They'd
made
love after the whole sordid revelation about Ross. He remembers her
eyes beckoning
his, her lips locking with his, and her arms embracing him hungrily.
He didn't
imagine any of it, no matter what she said in the morning. She loves
him
he knows it, in his soul.

He keeps the little litany going in his head. She LOVES ME! Claire
said it.
Hell Ross even said it today! Why do I doubt it? How can I after
everything
she's done to screw things up for us! He tilts his head fondly
recalling that this
is NOT new behavior and she always had his best interests at heart.
Of course
as soon as he has the generous thoughts of her, the undermining ones
snaked in too.
`She SLEPT with another man, out of the blue, when she was supposed
to be
coming back to YOU! NO! NO! STOP IT!' He can almost hear Dr.
Ash saying `Bobby you've got to get a grip on this now' He talks to
himself out
loud "I have to change the damn tape in my head once and for all! Or
we won't make it back to each other ever!"

He prefers never to think of it again, if that's possible. She'd had
an involvement. NOT an affair. And involvement is the most generous
word he will bestow on it. For him it has to be as though it never
happened. He has to believe NONE of it ever would have if they had
just communicated the way they'd promised to.
Her sleeping with Ross isn't going to prevent him from spending his
life with her. He knows what it's like not to think clearly and make
a mistake you can't ever undo, he'd found that out with Sara. And
he regretted more than anything he's ever done in his life. And there
were plenty of other things to regret. He isn't about to give himself
another REGRET. Losing Lindsay is NOT an option. He wouldn't be
able to live with himself, if he allowed it to happen. No! He won't!

There is no issue they can't overcome, and he's not about to let his
pride get in the way of his own happiness. It doesn't matter now. All
that matters is getting his life back on track and for him that means
being with his wife and his son.

He notices the lightning and rain showers scattered in the distance.
He knows how much Lindsay hated being in thunderstorms.
He remembers holding her soaked body next to his when they were caught
in one outside the courthouse. He loved that day because they were
barely
even speaking when they accidentally met one another, and they
ended up spending the whole drenched evening together. It was magical
then and it will be again. He hopes she hasn't gotten scared being in
the
house alone. He wonders if she'll run into his arms when he walks in
the
door hardly thinking of anything but the fear that propels her. He
sighs as
he pictures the scene until his mind envisions her jumping back out
of his
embrace quickly after forgetting for only a moment she isn't supposed
to fall
there anymore. But she is! That is exactly where he wants her to be!

His mind has another twenty minutes to occupy and he's so keyed up
and nervous all at the same time. So he rewinds the last scene
replaying
it with new and more comical results. He sees it as an old black and
white
old movie rerun without sound the over mellow-dramatic music playing.
Sub titles flashing in bold white letters to fill in the audience
blanks.
He pictures Lindsay as a damsel tied to the train tracks with him
rushing in on a white horse to the rescue. She slaps him as soon as
she is rescued and walks off into the sunset with Ross. No that's not
how its
supposed to go? He shirks that picture out of his mind trying a new
possibility.

Now its some kind of high speed chase like in a Key Stone
cops movie with him chasing her in fast-motion all over the cottage.
They run in and out of doors missing one another until finally he
sees Ross arrive at the front door proclaiming his love he sweeps
Lindsay off her feet, leaving Bobby shocked and heartbroken. Oh this
is going well.

This is what he gets for going to those old movie festivals when he
was in college.

He tries to update the movie selection, preferring a talkie picture.
He lets his mind choose out of its library of subconscious thoughts.
Romeo and Juliet? Where did that come from? They both end
up dead! NO THANKS!

Maybe he should leave the fantasies and focus on something
a little closer to reality.
.
With them it was pretty predictable. First the heart stopping moments
of seeing one another after so much miscommunication and
discombobulating.
After that follows the harsh cross, yelling accusations also normal
for them,
proceeded by quiet hurt silences, punctuated by more screaming,
someone crying,
usually him. He laughs at the image of his joke. And finally,
blissfully,
some whispered words of apology and forgiveness and abracadabra
they are on the same wave length again. And with that wave length
comes
amazingly, passionate heavenly lovemaking. Ten minutes to go. He
smiles and grips the steering wheel tighter trying to calm his
anxious, but happy nerves.
He sees a sprinkle of rain hitting his windshield and turns on the
wipers
for a clearer view as he approaches the one mile marker from
his and Lindsay's cottage.

Only a few more minutes to go, he's got to calm down inside he reaches
for the power knob on the CD player, turning the jazzy trumpet music
up loud
enough to drown out his meandering thoughts
&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay managed to find an almost comfortable way of standing still
for what seemed now like days! She's a sitting duck
for the lightening she dreads is coming. But hey a part of her is
in the house she thinks wryly; her ankle counts doesn't it? She feels
some pain
in her ankle but she thinks it may be sprained not broken. All this
fun for some
damned rings! NO! Not some damn rings, her rings the rings Bobby chose
for her, and only her. She let them go, she let him go! The
the tears she cried earlier had stained her cheeks pulling her mascara
along with them leaving a black smudgy trail. She can only imagine
what she must look like! She isn't relishing seeing her reflection in
a mirror
except for if she had one that would mean she'd be inside and NONE of
this would
be happening.

Her mind drifts to another rainy day in a universe not so long ago.
When she had been at odds with Bobby and she was doing everything
she could to avoid him. So of course fate stepped in and as she took
a step onto the courthouse elevator who appears? He took her breath
away that night as he always did. They'd made a disastrous run
for it, trying to make it to her car, they'd argued they'd yelled
she'd cried and at last she ended up in his arms taking her shelter
where she found the most security. Her heel broke as they
were running through the storm and he carried her to safety. She
remembers
how it felt then all that sexual attraction and tension you feel when
you know
you're in love and you have barely admitted to yourself let alone the
happy
benefactor. She remembers the chill of the rain combined with
electrifying lightening
charged even more by their combustible pairing. They'd been unable to
resist or deny
it. The kisses they shared were jolting and unforgettable. She
remembers the care package she'd received the next day. He called it
a survival kit for future storms, complete with his childhood bear.
She'd since passed him on to Bobby Jr.
She'd loved everything he thought of, but all she ever needed to
survive anything was HIM. She smiles sadly longing for those first
delectable days again.

She can't keep doing this! She shakes herself mentally knowing
her thoughts need to be directed on her current predicament. This
one holds no hope of her Prince coming to the rescue. She'd gladly
welcome this storm if only it did.

At least it was still summer, imagine getting caught out here like
this
in cold weather. The scattered raindrops that fell so far were
warm, the roof was at least cooled by the water, before it had been
hot and sticky, NOT that she was comfortable by any means. She is
damp she is hungry, she is hurt,
she is a complete mess! The only thing that would help now
is if someone… anyone… Claire where are your visions? Can't you hear
me calling out to you? Please someone come! She buries
her head under her hands to try to shield herself from the
latest much louder clap of thunder and its NOT even that
close yet. "Lindsay Dole succumbs to fear of lightning!" She tries to
joke feebly failing at cracking even a slight smile as she faces her
all too possible ending!

"Lindsay LOOK at the bright side, with your foot stuck you can't
fall off the roof!" Yeah she decides nodding her head. "That's
about it for the bright side." She gazes off in the direction of
Sam and Claire's house praying someone will get her mental
pleas of help. She could swear she sees some aunt-like vehicle making
its way towards her friend's home. But to her surprise the image
doesn't
stop it passes their house and is headed directly for hers. "THANK
GOD!"
But what if they are heading further up into the mountains and they
don't see her?
What if she can't get there attention and they just drive by?

She starts waving her arms and screaming her head off hoping to God
they hear something out of the ordinary and stop. But she realizes the
thunderous claps are getting closer and the daylight a little dimmer
and the
chances of being rescued are slimmer than she wants to imagine.

The car is now appearing full size and approaching the driveway. She
takes on long breath and screams at the top of her
lungs "HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She
waves her arms and gestures frantically unsure if she can be seen
because of chimney and angle she is standing at. The car
to her joy stops right in front of the house.

Maybe Sam or Claire got a new one? She's never seen it before
she can only make out that it's a deep blue minivan, the windows are
tinted so with the fading light she can't be sure if there is more
than one person inside it. There
has to be a driver she assures her overwrought mind that she is NOT
hallucinating.
It has to be SOMEONE!

Ok so she here she is standing like an idiot sideways on a roof with
her foot stuck
and her life hanging in the balance. DOES she care who it is!
Well aside from a serial killer she'll take anyone's help at this
point in time. She cranes her neck and tries to stand taller but with
one foot down-there-somewhere she can't quite accomplish that
feat. She holds her breath waiting for the occupant/s to get
out of the car. Who ever it is must have heard her? But if so
why in the hell aren't they out of the car. What if they
just lost their direction and stopped for a moment to read
a map or something? Maybe they didn't hear her at all. She
doubts they could see her as the drove up. She screams again shrilly
and
loudly.
&&&&&&&&
Bobby sits there for a moment with the car running in the driveway.
He needs a moment
to compose his thoughts and to conquer his fears. He sounded a lot
more confident when he was talking to Claire than he actually feels
inside. So much has happened. And so fast, he needs the time to let
it all sink in. The soft sexy melody playing helps to ignite that
over-active imagination once again.

He wonders where she is, will she be in the living room, and will
he see her as he walks through the door, or in the kitchen preparing
dinner, or upstairs taking a nap. What will it feel like to see her
again, now that he knows. He can't just sit here all night! The storm
is getting close and he'd better get in there in case Lindsay is
dealing with those old fears again. He wonders if she still has
the bear he gave her for that? He smiles when he thinks of how
little-girl-like she gets over that silly bear. Awe that's right she
gave it to Bobby Jr. She would never let Bobby Jr. know she
was afraid of the storms because it would only add to the child's
insecurity. She is the best Mom in the world. He loves watching
her with their son. And now he's about to make sure he
will be able to do that again, twenty-four seven till eternity.

He suddenly has no desire to put it off any longer. Seize the day
or better yet the woman. He reaches for the key with his right hand
while his left hand grasps the handle of the door.
&&&&&&&
Lindsay gasps as she sees the car door open. Joy of JOY! She
hopes its Sam because Claire is pregnant and not likely
to be able to help get her inside right away, she'd have to
call for help, and well she just hopes its Sam.

She waits wide eyed ready to smile for the first time since
this already unfortunate day took a turn for the worst.
What she sees wipes the smile off her face and changes her
hopeful look to one of total despair.

"OH MY GOD! Bobby!" She whispers. Her
heart takes a flying leap as her eyes tear up. He's here. How
right that it's him! And how horribly wrong all at the same time!
She'd know that
image anywhere. His broad shoulders the way he stands… She takes
a deep gulping breath. She can't be unhappy to see him, because
seeing him always brings her a joy she has never known with anyone
else.
Her heart does that old flip flop thing she thought would go years
ago along with the passion. How wrong she'd been, she feels it
more strongly than ever. She can't imagine it ever waning now.

It's him. He's here, and she's stuck on this roof looking
so ridiculous. She wants to scream out to him a part of her
really does, but another part holds back. She can't! If she lets
him know where she is, he will come, and she will be lost and
at the same time truly found. She was NEVER supposed to be found!

She hears him walking up the steps and the loud clamor of the
screen door shutting hard. She takes a deep breath knowing it's only
a matter of time.
He'll probably go to the kitchen and the check out the rooms
downstairs first. Did Claire and Sam call him? How did he know?
Why is he here? GOD! I thought I was done saying goodbye to him!
She thinks logically, all the while her heart is doing a happy
jig denying she will ever truly bid him farewell.

She feels the rainfall escalate and she is quickly becoming soaked to
the skin
she can't let him know she's there. No matter what!. Thank God she
walked from
Claire's. Sam offered to check her car over for adequate fluid and
tire pressure and he promised to bring it to her first thing in the
morning. So if she stays here she knows Sam will come in the morning.
She can do it. What's one little night out in the rain? She
prefers not to consider one little night exposed to the thunder and
lightening.

But Bobby might stay here. She can't even imagine the torture of
knowing he is in the house all night and that she is right outside
the bedroom. Did he come out of the blue on his own, just to
be alone? If she wasn't so filled with conflicted emotion she'd see
that of course he will figure out she is here, the minute he sees
the broken wine glass scattered on the bedroom carpet, the half-
consumed
bottle of wine, and her cell phone on the dresser, he will know she's
here. But she isn't thinking with her usual logic at all she is only
feeling and wishing.

"LINDSAY!" His voice breaks her distressed confusion. So much
for the theory he came here to be by himself. She shakes her head
dismally. He's here because of her. How did he know where
she was? She knows Claire and Sam would never betray her
confidence.

She sees him entering the bedroom she can only see the top half
of him. But OHHHHHHHHHH what a half!

He knows she is there, the jig is up. There is no use pretending.
She sees him surveying the room as though it's a crime scene. He
picks up
the wine bottle looking through to see how much is left, he sees the
overnight bag she didn't even think of sitting by the door still
unpacked.

"Lindsay!" He calls out again and she can hear the concern in his
voice. "

"LINDSAY!" Please where are you! "He must have seen her cell phone by
now
Yes, he has it in his hand. She sees him pushing the buttons the
odd melodic beeps can be heard only faintly because for the moment
the storm
has abated. She watches seeing his upper torso disappear from
sight, and she knows he has found the broken crystal fragments along
with the wine stains. He stands again the phone clutched to his ear,
and by
the look on his face she knows he's quite agitated.

She can't make out the words he is speaking at all, but she
can almost guess what they are. He shuts the phone quickly surveying
the room once more.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME!" Bobby is scared to death
maybe she was cut by all this glass and she could be bleeding to
death somewhere! He runs into the adjoining bathroom.

She can't tell him. She should she knows she should, she's probably
only
putting off the inevitable because he probably called Claire and now
he
knows she's not with them. He knows her car was never was here. He
will know she is still here somewhere. But her throat closes just as
she is about to call out to him. She can't do it. She's going to ruin
everything.

She sees him run back out of the empty bathroom and exiting the
bedroom.
She can almost picture him taking the stairs two at a time.

She feels the vibration as the front door slams shut.

She sees him run out towards the van and she can here
him screaming her name looking around him frantically
trying to locate her.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME ARE YOU HURT! MY GOD
LINDSAY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Did she try to
walk back to Sam's and Claire's bleeding and pass out somewhere?
He might have missed seeing her because his mind was so preoccupied.
The mere thought that he could have been so careless sends pain
coursing
through his whole body. NO! He's got to find her! What if she's here
though
and NOT on the road! He can't decide what to do first. He's looked
everywhere
inside so she must have headed for Claire's to get help! His hand
goes out to open
the minivan door when suddenly he hears a blissfully unsettling
scream.

She tries to wrench her foot free maybe if she does she can find a way
out of here without him finding her, she could sneak back to Sam's
and Claire's
grab her car and get away before he ever knows. As she gives her foot
one more force filled jerk she screams out in pain, unable to control
the nerve shattering reaction to her latest form of stupidity. That
little
getaway plan has one huge glitch now.

Bobby stops in his tracks. He heard her scream. "LINDSAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'M HERE! IT'S BOBBY! WHERE ARE YOU? LET ME HELP YOU!"

Lindsay hears the choked teary tone of Bobby's pleas and she can't
allow
him to be frightened about her one more second.

"BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yells out as loudly as she can
she can't let him think she's hurt or in danger. That would be too
cruel, and
she's already hurt him enough.

"Lindsay!" His voice rises in hopeful, but anxious concern.

"I'm up HERE! ON THE ROOF I'm OKAY!" Lindsay yells back feeling like
a complete and total idiot.

"What in the hell are you doing up there?" the relief turns to
agitated
anger instantly. He is unable to even see her.
He moves around tilting his head back walking backwards and trying
hard to figure out which direction to go.

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET HIT BY LIGHTNING!" Lindsay
calls back so relieved to be able to joke about it. That might be
preferable to dealing
with Bobby ONE more time.

Bobby doesn't voice his thought that a lightning strike will
be mild compared to his wrath once he gets her in his arms. What the
hell is she thinking?
She could have been killed!

"LINDSAY KEEP TALKING I CAN'T SEE YOU!" Bobby instructs her.
"HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"JUST COME AND GET ME I'LL EXPLAIN LATER!" Lindsay
wonders why in the hell he's still outside. Why doesn't Bobby realize
that to get to her he'll need to come out the window too? She needs
to be INSIDE NOW!

"You're not in any danger of falling?" He asked making certain she is
safe.

"NO! But I'm ready to get back inside!" She assures him.

"And your fine, NOT cut, bleeding or anything?" Bobby asks
mysteriously.

"Yes, Bobby I told you I'm okay." She doesn't want to tell him about
her
foot yet he'll see for himself and this is embarrassing enough as it
is.

"YOU HAVE TO COME IN TO GET ME INSIDE! I don't
see our ladder anywhere I think Sam must have borrowed it again."
She'd
looked for it earlier, but quickly came to the realization even if
it was there, someone would have to be able to deliver it to her for
it to be of any use. "YOU HAVE TO GET ME FROM INSIDE!" Lindsay
directs him again fully expecting his immediate cooperation.

"NO!" Bobby yells back and at last he has found a view of her precious
but maddening head. He'd be worried but she's assured him she
is in no immediate danger. He'd been afraid his arrival might scare
her off, so this
is actually working out better than he ever expected.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?" Lindsay calls back unable to believe
the stubborn refusal in his voice.

"JUST WHAT I SAID! NO!" Bobby informs her folding both
arms on his chest.

"BOBBY! DON'T joke around with me! I need to get off this
DAMN ROOF NOW! Can't YOU hear the thunder, I can see
lightening heading this way too!" Lindsay voice isn't hiding her fear
too well.

For a split second Bobby nearly takes pity on her. But this situation
is almost too good to be true.
"You sat on the window ledge again didn't you, like I've told
YOU NOT TO DO A THOUSAND TIMES?" Bobby sounds like
a weary worn dad scolding a mischievous child. "And you didn't
shimmy the window open either did you?" Bobby's been through this
frustration with her before. He's often found Lindsay daydreaming on
the window
ledge and insisted she put a piece of wood in to hold the window
steady. He's warned her and warned her! He's even had her get
up momentarily so he can do the task for her. He swore to her many
times that there were
some parts of the old cottage that were haunted and that the bedroom
window was
definitely one!

"Bobby I can explain what happened but GET ME OFF THIS ROOF!"
She's NOT about to admit her error in judgment to him. She had to
retain some dignity here. As much as you can have when you're in her
ridiculous shoes or shoe as the case may be.

"NO, Sorry Lindsay! Bobby takes a look at his watch to emphasize his
point. "the worst of the storm is about half hour away and we have
about that much time `till dark and well I have a few questions I'd
like answers too, and uh…the way I see it I'm in a perfect position
to get them. Now, you, getting what it is you want? Not so much!" He
jokes with her as he always had delighting in a little sidebar
bantering along the way. "So, what will it be? Are you going to
answer my questions or are you enjoying the view too much?" Bobby
smiles wickedly it's good to have upper hand.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Lindsay's growl thunders
down over his head and if LOOKS could kill well her eyes
would be the kryptonite flattening her not so super man
into a pile of helpless putty. She smiles very satisfied with the
image of Bobby magically being turned into a moldable object, with
both her hands scooping him up eager and willing to do the job.

"NO I think I'm perfectly sane, no thanks to YOU!" Bobby shouts.
He's still just a little angry with her, okay more than a little. She
had
driven him just about crazy these last few weeks.

Lindsay still won't give in and tell him that she has one foot stuck
in
the house because well he's already making this already totally
humiliating experience worse as ONLY Bobby knows how to do.

"GET ME DOWN BOBBY DONNELL OR I'LL!"

"YOU'LL what? Bobby chuckles "I don't think you're in any
position to make threats. "Unless of course you're planning
to take the short way down and land on me?"

"DON'T TEMPT ME!" Lindsay calls back.

"ARE you ready to cry UNCLE yet? I bet it's YOUR finger that's
feeling a bit
twisted now isn't it MS. DOLE!" He can't resist calling her that just
as
he had in those first days. And the finger twisting altercations he'd
repeatedly
lost to her, were about to be made up to him in ONE major twist.
"Cry Uncle" He shouts smiling a little more as his shirt is becoming
thoroughly
spattered with raindrops. He'd whined at her all the time that one
of his
poor fingers remains crooked to this day from her over-twisting
machinations.

"It's not my finger you moron it's my foot!" Lindsay grumbles under
her breath. She's ready to wring his twisted neck! She forgets
she is not exactly at the best advantage to be name calling.
"Bobby you're acting like an ass! GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"
Lindsay orders as if she's still wearing the pants in the family.

"We need to talk! I have questions Lindsay!" Bobby calmly
replies tearing the pants right off her.

A huge clap of rolling thunder drowns out Bobby's insufferable
laughter.

A tear slips down Lindsay's cheek. "OKAY OKAY ask your
damn questions so I can get the HELL OFF THIS ROOF
AND GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!" she screams wondering
how much longer their voices will last.

"GOOD I thought you'd see things my way."

"Bobby just come rescue me I promise I'll answer anything you ask
just please!" Her voice ends on a gulping sob.

"Lindsay are you crying?" Bobby's pleasure quickly vanishes
as he hears the mournful plea of her voice. He finally senses
she is hurt after all. Something is wrong. Of course it is you
dummy why would she be on a roof in a storm?

"Lindsay are YOU hurt tell me the truth!" He should have known
better, Lindsay has always put on a brave front even when she
was in labor with her son she called it stupid back pain. He'd
listened
to her then dismissing it as easily as she had, only to find out it
was a tad more when their
son was born on a courtroom floor. His stomach is twisting in knots
as he realizes he could have been wasting precious time to help her.
Damn it why didn't she say so in the first place?

"Yes- maybe-a little- Bobby please-."

Bobby's already halfway up the stairs by the time Lindsay answers.

He runs into their bedroom realizing what he should have figured
out before. That damn window! It had fallen and locked her
outside!

Lindsay watches him run into the bedroom again heading
immediately for the window. She knows he knows that the
window has a mind of its own and he's warned her it's NOT
a safe place to perch that's why the plans were made to put
in French doors and a balcony.

She watches scrunching her face a little half hoping it won't open
because if it betrays her and slides open easily she will be looking
even MORE foolish than she already does.
He shoves at it with all his strength but NO luck. Good she is
relieved
No further feelings of mortification necessary. Of course that means
it won't be
a quick rescue. She strains her neck to survey the progress of the
storm.
The ominous descending grey clouds change her perspective
immediately.
Maybe she wishes the stupid window had opened after all.

Bobby gives up the struggle straining his eyes to pinpoint her
location, the
storm has cast an unusually early dusk. "Lindsay keep talking to me,
where are you out there?"

"I'm in front of you down a ways I can see you!" She calls back. She
knows
what a miracle his being here is. HE came. He always
comes. In every major crisis she's ever had, and there have
been many since she met him, he's been there for her.
She loves that here he is once again. But as happy as it makes
her on one level it devastates her on another.

Now what does she do, hurt him some more. Does she
accept his help and then show him the door again? How can she
keep doing that? The only thing she really wants is to welcome him
home
with open arms.

The storm is definitely worsening. A deafening crash of thunder
drowns out
what ever Bobby is calling to her.

"Bobby I can't hear YOU!" She screams in between the booming
noises.

"STAY PUT!" HE yells back trying to figure out what the best
way to get to his wife is.

"I can't really do anything else!" She assures him as loudly as
she can.

Bobby goes to the closest room with a larger sized window which
unfortunately is on the opposite side of the house. He tries the
window there but it must have swelled
in the humid summer storm. He can't get it to budge either. He runs
downstairs to the
utility area finding a nice heavy crow bar. If he has to break the
damn thing
to get to his wife to safety he will, gladly. He inserts the bar
under the window sash and
using his foot against the ledge for leverage and his anxious
adrenaline he
is able to get the window to open a sliver, he reinserts the bar again
and this time he is able to pry the whole thing free. He grabs the
emergency flashlight
they keep under all the beds for power outages. Lindsay made sure
they were always prepared for the dreaded summer squalls. He grabs up
the crowbar too
because he has no idea if he needs it or not. At least it might help
keep them
attached on the roof as they make there way back. As he steps out to
the roof his heart skips a beat because in seconds he will see her up
close and personally. He swallows the lump in his throat and proceeds
carefully to her end of the roof. His sight
is blurred by increasing wind and rain but he trudges on determined
to get his Lady to safety.

"Bobby is that you?" Lindsay asks strangely oblivious to
how ridiculous a question that is.

"Yeah it's me." He's so worried he misses the golden opportunity to
tease her.

"Good." Lindsay says humbly only too willing to take his help.

"Where are you hurt?" Bobby asks wanting to know the extent of her
injuries.

"Uh… I'm not hurt really- it I-" Lindsay sputters wanting to avoid
the embarrassing
admission.

"Lindsay for God's sakes TELL me if you're hurt, I'm almost there."
Bobby assures her
inching his way carefully around the precarious tiles.

"I …MY FOOT IS CAUGHT in-" She cringes as she admits the depth of
her predicament. "It went through some rotten tiles!" She confesses.

"You're not bleeding or anything?" He asks again fearfully. Oh God
why had
he made her wait! He knows what a stubborn mule she can be!

"NO! I don't think so. Nothing's broken that I know of, but I lost my
shoe."

"You and YOUR shoes!" She can hear Bobby laughing with relief. Of
course his jovial reaction only serves to incite that already edgy
mood she's in.

"I'm so glad YOU find this funny!"

He can picture her expression before he even sees her he knows from
her tone
that its got to be the one where she folds both arms stubbornly while
she taps
one foot impatiently.
Of course that might be impossible with only one foot available.

"Well you've got to admit Lindsay you do know how to put your foot in
it now don't
you!" Bobby teases realizing she is not in dire need of help if she
can take the
time to scold him. Yes it's beginning to rain a little harder, and
yes the thunder is closer, but he does still have the home team
advantage, she needs him so she has to be
civil no matter what he says, and she knows it!

He hears her frustrated growl. And for the life of him he can't stop
another
full throated chuckle. "Oh come on now Lindsay surely you can see the
humor in this?" Bobby's tone is much less concerned than before and
that does NOTHING to calm
Lindsay's frazzled nerves.

"Are you coming? You're going to get me off the roof right?"
Something in Bobby's casual tone is NOT very reassuring.

"Oh Yeah eventually." He answers lazily as if oblivious to her
peril.

"Why aren't you coming?" She asks impatiently.

"Because there are a few things I'd like to know before I get there
Lindsay." The familiar aggravating voice echoes out of the descending
darkness.

"LIKE WHAT?" She is getting wetter and more uncomfortable by the
minute.
"This is NO time to play twenty questions Bobby what is it with you
LAWYERS!"

"You're a lawyer too!" Bobby reminds her snottily

"But I'm NOT the one asking questions out here in a thunderstorm
when MY WIFE HAS HER FOOT CAUGHT IN A ROOF AND IS ABOUT READY TO
SCREAM!"

"Lindsay you are screaming." Bobby calmly replies. He loves that she
referred to him in a round-about way as her husband.

"THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I'm GOING TO DO WHEN I
GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

"Ah promises, promises!" Bobby responds.

"Bobby Donnell what is it going to take to get me off this roof!"

He smiles as he envisions a delectable version of what it would
take for him to always let her have her way. He sees her in the peach
gown
beckoning to him with her smoky blue eyes one silky strap falling
off her shoulder- He suddenly brings himself back to the moment at
hand as his foot slips a little on a roof tile. The last thing he
needs to do is make another hole in the roof. because he fully
intends to rescue his damsel in distress. He inches closer towards
her
knowing he's not giving up on that enticing fantasy he just had
either.

"Answer the questions!" He orders stubbornly. He's getting
a little soaked too, but he remembers what it feels like to
be wearing wet clothes and becoming suctioned to Lindsay when she's
soft, wet and pliable. It was never what he would call an unpleasant
experience.

"FINE!" Lindsay crosses her already cross arms.

Bobby magically appears like a long awaited vision. Hearing his voice
had
calmed her internally. But seeing him affects her in a whole
different way. The flashlight provides enough luminosity to see his
face, and looking into his eyes she knows she will always have these
silly butterflies at the mere sight of him. It takes her breath away.
And the instant relief she feels at actually having him within arms
reach sends a hot/cold shiver up her back.

They stand there just staring in that way they always had, whenever
things
weren't quite right between them. It only took a look to calm the
waters at
least for the moment. It happened that way every time.
Their longing eyes cutting through the shadows seeing deep into one
another's souls.
That was the look they shared now. It was like the day in the office
when
Lindsay told him she missed him, and she missed being held by him.
They were two star-crossed lovers unable to speak words of devotion.
But they could always see it, in those gazing fiery exchanges that
filled the distance between them closing it and extinguishing it
completely. A mere glance was all it ever took. The room could be
crowded with strangers but their eyes would seek mutual sustenance. A
small secret shared smile played across the distance and wordlessly
they'd make their way towards one another. That spark was still very
much alive and cracking more loudly than the storm.

Bobby returns to reality when he hears the nearing thunder and
registers the menacing streak of jagged lightning crisscrossing the
sky. It's a little too close for comfort.

He kneels down carefully, quickly assessing the trapped foot with the
flashlight. She feels
his hand touching the tip of one of her toes and the familiar goose
bump
verifications of his touch send zigzagging chills up her back. He
works
wordlessly straining to move something back from around her ankle
using the
crow bar to aide his work. Finally he stands up the flashing
lightening illuminates his wet drizzly face.

Lindsay's heart feels as though it's been the rope in a tug-of-war.
He holds out his arms ready to steady her as he orders her to pull
her once captive limb free. She tugs gently afraid to incite further
pain, and her foot magically releases itself from the hole. She
wasn't expecting such instantaneous emancipation. The sudden result
throws her off balance capitulating her directly into his waiting
arms.

He holds on tightly to steady her, the electricity that ignites at
the smallest touch brings
a lump to Bobby's throat, he swallow hard, trying to control his
reaction to her proximity Caressing her in any form always reduced
him into some kind of helpless besotted idiot.
This time was even worse than usual because he hadn't been sure even
a day ago
he would ever get to hold her again. They stand that way for several
seconds
taking shelter the deafening crackling thunder surrounding them.

She closes her eyes settling her head against his chest. The feel of
his
body against her feels so right and so perfect, this is what she
longed for
this is all she ever needs.

Bobby leans his cheek against her beloved drenched hair, and he
wishes there
was a way to bypass everything else, but this, all that he wants is
in his arms.
He wants to go on holding her forever.

As the weathers wrath subsides for a moment she realizes she isn't
where she
needs to be at all. This will NOT help her accomplish anything! The
rate she's going they won't make it into the house before they've
torn one another's clothing off.

She quickly and reluctantly separates her body from his. She tries to
put some
weight on the once imprisoned leg. It's not as bad as she thought it
would be,
it didn't feel sprained; after all it must have been awkward angle
and being held
still for so long, it feels numb; it probably went to sleep when
it had nothing better to do.

"Is it okay?" Bobby asks ready to snatch her back into his arms if
necessary.
He's a little sad she didn't stay there. But a part of him is still
angry with her
because she'd been foolish and careless with her life and by doing so
endangered his as well! And his thinking has NOTHING to do with the
roof, or the damn storm.

"Yeah, not even sprained after all." Lindsay admits embarrassed again
by this silly situation.

"Hmmmmmmmp!" Bobby grumbles as his more irate side wins over his
zealous heart.

He grabs her hand roughly guiding her as the ascend to a higher spot
on the roof
an areas offering a little more protection near their bedroom
window. The light shining from inside the room makes it easier to see
one another, but not easier to face one another. Bobby drops her hand
as if the forced contact has burned his.

They have a little stare down again now as each one sizes up the
situation.
Lindsay can tell she won't be winning this round by the angry spark
in Bobby's eyes. "WHAT!" Lindsay gruff voice belies her happiness
at being anywhere with him again, even if it is on this damn roof! The
flashlight glow combined with the intermittent lightning angry face
appear a little more intimidating than usual.

"WHAT! What in the HELL were you thinking running away like this?"
Bobby is letting the livid side of him take over. Never mind they
are on a roof in the near dark during a thunderstorm that has
surprisingly
taken a quiet turn which is nice because now he doesn't have
to keep shouting, his voice is already raspy from the yelling he did
on the ground. "You ran away again Lindsay!"

"I didn't run away, I just needed to GET away for a few days."
Lindsay explains her own voice getting prickly. She wanted comfort
NOT interrogation. What is he thinking keeping her out here like this!

"LIAR!" Comes back his clipped response.

"I'm NOT lying! Please Bobby get me inside!
I've been out here for hours!" Lindsay's voice holds an uncertain
wobbly
desperation but Bobby isn't giving in that easily. He longs
to shorten the fighting time and get to the all important
pleasurably passionate conclusion.

Lindsay doesn't want to admit the catastrophe her get away has turned
into.

"Lindsay You were running away again! Damn it! ADMIT IT!"

"I'm entitled to go on vacation just like anyone else!" Lindsay
arms unfold then refold in stubborn defiance.

"Yeah and you take OUR son without ONE word to me!" Bobby
snipes back.

"He was only coming this far with me." She explains realizing too
late this only reinforced his theory of her running which of course
is correct
but he doesn't need to know it. "You were supposed to come and get
him." She stops.

"Yeah! Thanks for LETTING me know! You were running from ME! DON'T
lie to me!"

"Okay Bobby if I agree I was on the run will you kindly get your
very charming butt in gear and get me INSIDE!" Lindsay is at
the end of her nerves. This is all too much!

"YES if you admit it I'll get you inside." He promises softening a
little.

"Okay! FINE! You want answers. Be careful what you ask for!
You won't ever believe that I don't want to be with you
anymore no matter what I say, we keep on falling back into- so I
decided distance was a good idea."

"Don't you know by now that distance is NEVER a good idea for us?"
Bobby asks croaking a little.

She expected his anger. She anticipated his being upset about Bobby
Jr.
But hearing him say "US" as though there still was one was her
undoing.

She wants to cry. Her nerves are raw and her heart is too. Seeing him
here, when she wished so hard that he would be, is surreal. Why does
this keep happening? Why
won't he just let her go? She's so torn in two over good intentions
and letting him go, and wanting him so much it made her teeth hurt!
Lindsay does what any wife would do in this situation she throws the
blame where it belongs squarely on HIS shoulders.

"You know Bobby YOU should have called to get this roof fixed ages
ago! And that blasted WINDOW too!" She puts one hand on her hip. If
anyone saw them now
they wouldn't believe it. They both look like something even a cat
wouldn't want to drag in. Lindsay's finger is pointing at him, her
face
is a charcoal smudged nightmare, her clothing is plastered to her body
and where it's not drenched the shirt looks almost comical with the
billowing air pockets combined with the suctioned transparency. Her
hair is beyond straggly and her voice is on its last legs after all
the yelling and screaming she's done. She's barely holding on to her
composure and so turning on him takes all the energy she has left. In
spite of her woeful condition she feels a little spark ignite inside
her. Arguing with Bobby
again is sheer paradise.

Bobby shakes his head almost fondly. His wife is scolding him
terribly and
as he hears the raspy accusations and he knows it's because she is not
about to cry. In any crisis when ever she wanted to cry she always
managed
to turn it into anger and accusations. Crying always came after that.
His heart smiles as he goes happily along with the longstanding
routine.

He knows the game he's played it often. "ME! Is your finger broken?
You'd could of called too! Why is it women always expect MEN to take
care of the repairs! You all say you want equality, but everything
that requires
some kind of tool, or ladder is the man's fault! You're as capable as
I am Lindsay!
Isn't that what you've drilled into me for years!"

"You're damned right I am!" Lindsay shouts back. Arguing is something
they do best. They've turned it to an art form over the years.

Bobby's heart feels lighter inside than it has in weeks. Maybe it was
the altitude but he knows it's more than likely the lovely company he
is finally
getting to keep. "Yeah I see that by how well you faired out here!"

"I did JUST fine without YOU! I don't need a man to-" Lindsay stops
lying to him and to herself, she very much needs this man. What
would she have done without him? She never wants to know. But
she already knows and now she has to deny the truth once again.

Bobby senses she is near the crying stage so he gives her a moment
to realize it. Then he launches the next not so vehement attack.

"Are YOU ever going to tell me how YOU ended up out here in the first
place?"
He says it almost jokingly all the while his fingers have made there
way
to her face traveling delightedly up her cheek "My little fickle-
feathered trouble-maker." His tone is soft and tender now and even
with his recrimination she hears the love oozing through.

"I'm not feathered." Her soft protesting murmur causes him to smile
indulgently.

"Awe but you are, according to Sam." Bobby replies softly.

She can't take any of this anymore, she isn't strong
enough to keep up the fight. Bobby's being so incredibly sweet and
she'd been more frightened than she realized up on this damned perch
all alone! And now to have his
hard strong body to lean on, when she thought she'd never experience
this kind of security again was too much. His hands are patting
her back making ready for the usual flood gates to open.

All she can do is bury her face against him and sob her
heart out. "It's okay baby, Awe Lindsay don't cry, you know how
much I hate it when you cry!" Bobby croons softly to her.
Rain is pouring down again beating against his back, and all he wants
to do is shield her from the pelting tirade. He smiles gently holding
her hungrily. His
fingers are curling around her body eager to partake of her softness.
It's all right Lindsay we'll get you inside baby- I'm here, you don't
have to cry."

"Yes I do…" She sobs and gulps and hiccups all at the same time.

"Why?" His soft whisper asks her hoping she will make a full
confession. She
certainly isn't acting as though she doesn't want him here.

"I don't know!" He can feel her body shudder a little as she refuses
to tell him.
He knows she needs to feel the comfort of the great indoors before she
will even be close to telling him what he longs to hear.

He gently puts one arm around her shoulders as he directs the
flashlight straight
ahead. They start to take a few steps towards their destination of
warmth and shelter.

"I can't!" She remembers suddenly what brought her out here in the
first place. She pulls him back refusing to be urged on. Her rings!
She can't just leave them behind now? What does she do? If she tells
him what she came out here after, he'll know why. Any chance of
continuing the subterfuge after revealing that will be useless. She
can't tell him anything about the rings ever. Besides she not going
to ask
him to risk his neck in the middle of a storm. He's already done that
just to rescue
her.

"I lost something out here, that's why I-I was trying to get it
back." Lindsay
tries to shrug it off as unimportant now.

"What did you lose?" Bobby asks feeling a little impatient. He
imagines
it was the cork to the wine or some other stupid thing she could very
well have gone without. The idea of her risking her neck for something
so insignificant stymies him

"It's – I-. never mind it doesn't matter." She finishes lamely her
voice saddened
as she realizes she may never recover them after the storm.

"Okay let's get inside. The weathers going to be getting a LOT worse
before it ends." Bobby promises her, knowing that this prediction
holds
true for them as well.

"Please." Lindsay agrees limping a little on the not too happy foot.

"You have to hold on to me, and follow my lead we'll have to
go around the way I came, from the guest room, its going to be easy,
don't worry
I've got you, we'll take it slow. Just HOLD ON!"

"Bobby"

"Yes?

"Do you think you could come up with ANY other words in crisis
situations
besides those!" Lindsay asked sarcastically.

"Not good huh?" Bobby returns amicably.

"NO! They're right up there with "HERE WE GO" and "Listen to
YOURSELF!"

Bobby sees the humor because he knows her so well. "Hang On" would
that be a better choice for roofs?"
He asks thoroughly amused as they make there way to safety and warmth.
The bantering helps to take there minds off the escalating storm and
the
steep danger of their shared journey.

"Hardly!" Lindsay snaps, and he can almost see her eyes rolling.

At last they've made it safely up to the guest room window the place
of Bobby's original departure. His arms scoop her up for a moment
helping her descend through the
open window. The floor is wet from the rains unbarred entrance.
Lindsay feels her one-stocking foot squishing into the carpet. She is
trembling but only for a moment because Bobby's hands have draped a
blanket around her shoulders and his fingers clasp
the ends together holding her in a little haven against his chest.

"We need to get you into a hot bath right away!" Bobby informs her
paying no heed to her protests.

"Bobby are you kidding! You want to put me in water during a
lightning storm? I don't
think so!"

"Lindsay nothings going to happen to you, you need to…" Bobby's eyes
take in her bedraggled appearance but all he sees is the utter beauty
that
has always taken his breath away. His eyes gaze into hers and for a
moment
any estrangement disappears. His mouth opens slightly as he searches
for a word any word- but as always when this happens he becomes
speechless and weak kneed. His soaked hair is dribbling down his
cheeks and his eyes glow sparking like awakened embers into hers.

He doesn't wait for her permission he doesn't dare ask. She opens
her mouth to speak, but no words come. It's only the two of them
now together in the vast universe, there is no time no space, no
dampness, no thunder or lightning or rain. They've drowned it out
with a communal silence that is deafening. Bobby's right hand rises
slowly as if to somehow hold this moment. His fingers play
along Lindsay temple as his head bends down slightly, Lindsay
looks up into his eyes her heart is pounding hard against his, their
conjoined primitive pulsations play off one another, as though
sounding out some ancient ritual mating dance. She moans softly as
his lips braise hers tenderly at first then more arduously as he
feels her ardent response. Her arms encircle his shoulders joyfully.
His fingers cup her neck
pressing her face closer to his. His right hand pushes the wet
dangling hair away from her eyes as he takes leave of her lips to
kiss each precious lid. Moving down her face
scattering light kisses until his lips crush hers hungrily. Lindsay
hands grasp the hair
at the nap of his neck as she returns his impassioned yearning.

A hair-raising clap of thunder jolts Lindsay out of the sweet
embrace. She jumps
back as if she has been scorched all the way to her bones. Her hand
goes to her abandoning lips as if to take his kiss back. She feels
the chilling
blast of cold air as she loses the cocoon of his arms. She has to
pretend
it was all HIM he's the one who kissed her! And that nothing has
changed.

"Linds…" Bobby hates that she is no longer in his arms. He hates the
look
he sees on her face as if she's done something wrong! It was NEVER
wrong.
And most of all he hates that she is swiping away any trace of him.

"Hey… we can't…." Lindsay is at a loss for words because she wants to
turn back time so damn much.

"I…." Bobby isn't sure where to go from here. Here being nowhere.

"What about you, you're just as wet and Bobby you tore your shirt!"
Lindsay
scrambles to return to normalcy picking up conversation as if nothing
else
has transpired between. She can't help but notice his bronze
tantalizing skin peaking through the jagged drenched fabric. She
wishes she could tear it off him and have
her way with him. She knows how wonderful it is to run her fingers
over his muscle laden body.

"I'll be fine…" Bobby knows she isn't ready he can see the fear
dancing in her eyes. He doesn't want her running away anymore, not
mentally and sure as hell not physically! But as he sees her
disheveled state more clearly his protective
husbandly side takes the lead. He decides to be a loving patient man,
and
hold that mindless, passion-driven besotted lover he wants to be, at
bay for at least a little while longer. He knows they have to talk.
But God that Kiss! How he's missed her!

There's another moment of awkward silence. Again they open their
mouths
and nothing comes. Bobby is afraid they might keep doing this all
night
so he breaks the barriers by being bossy and decisive as usual. He
knows
in some strange way she'll find comfort in that.

"Here at least let me help you, you need to freshen up." Bobby
ignores her obvious reluctance to his touch as he propels her gently
into the bathroom, she expects him to turn and leave but to her utter
torment he stays guiding her to sit. She keeps her eyes averted. She
can't trust herself after that spectacular kiss she's determined to
keep her eyes averted. she doesn't dare look into his blue
hypnotizing gaze! And why the hell isn't he leaving?

He pulls a towel off the rack gently hooding Lindsay's wet head with
it, rubbing
her scalp lightly to get the excess rainwater from her hair. She
breaths again
as she feels him remove the towel laying it on the side of the tub.
She is
reeling having his so close within tempting touching inches. She's
expecting that now he is done drying her hair he will leave her in
peace to finish repairing the storm damage.

But no, Bobby has other ideas as he takes a terry wash cloth rinsing
it thoroughly in water, he wrings it out until nothing is left
dripping
and to her sheer terror he kneels in front of her, looking deeply
into her eyes. Her lips scream to her longing to resume the kissing,
her
mind spins as she fights the urge to obey them. She swallows but
the tightness in her throat doesn't disappear.
She reaches her hand out expecting him to give her the wash cloth, and
once he does she fully intends to make an excuse for privacy.

He ignores the extended hand, preferring to finish what he's started.
All thoughts of making excuses fly away as Lindsay feels the side of
his palm resting tenderly against her cheek. He wordlessly begins to
wipe all the black smears and smudges from her face. She sits as
still as she can afraid if she moves it will only be incentive for
her to end the charade and fall helplessly into his arms.

The snapping thunder does nothing to calm her nerves The hand holding
the wash
cloth pauses its mission for a moment. This is worse. She feels his
eyes
staring, she can hear his heart beating he's so damn close!

She sits statue still as his left fingers gently brushes a few damp
tendrils that have
fallen over her eyes. Her throat is on fire with the effort NOT to
look into his eyes or react to anything he does.

Bobby right hand clutches the warm cloth reluctantly. He would love
to purify her
face with his touch, letting his fingers saunter over her silky skin
in a worshiping trail of reverence. But he knows she isn't ready. He
can see the tension in her shoulders, he can see the glittering
hesitation in her eyes. He knows she's been fighting with
herself all along. And now he wants to take the anguish away and
replace
it with truth and peace. So as he continues to lovingly wash off each
smudgy eyelid
he whispers softly to her. She has to know everything is going to be
fine now. He wants
to take all the fears away.

"I know Lindsay-I know everything." Bobby's eyes embrace hers
reassuringly.

Lindsay's mind can barely register the words because Bobby has
dropped the
cloth to the floor. The back of his fingers eagerly take its place
fondly stroking her cheek.
"It's going to be the way it's supposed to be now."

The light bulbs flicker slightly in response to the storm. Lindsay
been
in this situation with him before, and she knows what happens when
lights go out suddenly. She gets jumpy and when she jumps it's always
been right into his waiting arms. She can't! She can't afford to have
him
touch her this way. She can't keep denying his amorous advances. It's
always
been this way when he's this close sensibility takes flight and
coherent thoughts die a quick and painless death as she succumbs to
his every desire. She has to stop this NOW!

"Lindsay are you hearing me? I said I know!" Bobby wonders why she
hasn't
responded.

"You're right! I should get out of these wet clothes!" Lindsay says
determined not to
let this happen. She feels it happening she can't ask him what he
knows.
She doesn't want to know! And above all HE cannot touch her again! But
he is touching her! His fingers are fondling her neck now. Oh it
feels-so-she can't
move, as much as she wants to she feels as if she fallen under his
spell.
She is weakening by the second. "I have to get out of these wet
clothes!"
Her voice is trembling.

"Just sit still, I'm not finished." His tone is promisingly sexy.

"I can't!" I have to find something to wear! I'm really getting
cold!" Lindsay
lies through her teeth because in truth she's more like blown glass,
molten,
sizzling and ready to become the willing subject of the artist's
desires.

"Lindsay, you need-" Bobby feels her struggling emotions.

"I need!" Lindsay is horrified because she nearly says the
forbidden `You'
her heart is drumming madly as she begins to shake her head in furious
denial. "Clothes I need dry clothes!"

"You can't go into our bedroom… he pauses as he says the "our"
there's too much
broken glass everywhere and you could get cut."

"I need to find something to wear!" Lindsay insists.

"No. Not yet. We need to talk. Lindsay."

It takes everything in her logical mind to propel herself away from
his
touch away from the capitulation he is about to invoke. She jumps up
skittishly
nearly sending him sprawling across the tiled floor.

"I'm going to get out of these clothes!" She runs to the guest bedroom
closet desperate for the mechanical distraction of a mundane task.
Anything she can do
to take her mind off Bobby's enticingly close presence

Lindsay rushes into the guest bedroom hoping she's stopped Bobby
enough to get a good lead. She yanks the armoire open blindly. Her
mouth falls
open as she stares at the masculine clothing hanging in the wardrobe.
Great! EVERYTHING is BOBBYS! His extra clothing that didn't' fit into
their joint closet. They'd kept an extra wardrobe here just for
convenience, so they could take off at
a moments notice from Boston for those treasured but too few
weekend get-a-ways. He'd moaned and groaned about sacrificing all
his closet space for her. So it's her fault. Here they are, right
where she ordered him to put them. She has no choice but to wear
them. Someone must be having a good laugh about now. She figures it's
the same someone who sent the thunderstorm to taunt her, today of all
DAYS!

Bobby has managed to recover from her harried escape. He
walks slowly and purposefully towards the closet and his wife.

"Anything your size?" His voice is hardened because he is getting
really fed up with her skittish behavior. This is HIM for God's sakes
he's her husband what in the hell is she afraid of?

"I'm going borrow these." she grabs for an oversized pair of
of his black silk pajamas. Before he can even
get near her she's skedaddled back into the bathroom. The door slams
squarely in his face. He gives up throwing his hands to heaven then
sighing deeply as they fall heavily to his side. She won't be going
anywhere
in the storm and if she needs some time to sort out her emotions
he'll give it to her. But NOT for much longer!

"Lindsay I'm going to change too, I'll makes some tea, see if threes
something to eat, meet me downstairs…" Bobby orders.

Her faint but acquiescent answer assures him she will
be there in a little while.

Lindsay combs through the tangled hair as though she is sorting
through the mess she's made of everything in her life.
She ignores the scalp pain she's self-inflicting. He knows.
What does he know? Thanks to her many lies there are hundreds
of things he could know. She isn't sure. Maybe she read more into
his words than she should have, maybe he knows she lost her rings?
NO! How could he know that? He couldn't. And what in the HELL
will she do without them? What if they are blown away, off the roof
entirely, so far away that she'll never recover them? If she'd have
told him he would have gotten
them for her. But she just couldn't tell him. He would know instantly
that recovering her rings meant she still cared about what
they represented way too much! They would be a dead
give away. A revealing donation she couldn't afford to make.

She takes a good hard look at her pale and confused face, the mirrors
reflection only reminds her, he is waiting. He loves her to wear his
clothing. Bobby always pretended to be annoyed anytime she'd try to
secretly snatch a piece away
for herself. But he really enjoyed it. He delighted in relieving her
of the oversize garments because as he whispered so many times
disrobing her was one of his favorite sports.

She can't be his recreation anymore. Even being that now would be
better
than having nothing. She remembers when it hurt like hell to be
referred to as
his recreation. They'd come so far from that. She can't even believe
sometimes
they are the same two people. They've changed so much, in so many
ways,
why hadn't they just outgrown one another? Then it would have been
so much easier. But with them the bond was too strong the ties too
woven
and intertwined to ever be completely broken. But she HAD broken
them. She has
to remind herself that she had single-handedly taken a figurative
chain saw
to those ties and they no longer existed. Why the HELL didn't Bobby
react
the way she expected him too. She had done everything humanly possible
to alienate him forever. And where is he? HERE! He didn't seem to
get that he is supposed to HATE her by now. And on top of that he says
he knows!" She avoided acknowledging his words but she heard them
LOUD and Clear.

What else could the `he knows be' maybe he just said it because of
the kiss. Maybe he's telling her from that one electrifying moment
they
shared, that he knows she wants him as much as ever. She's never
wanted him more.

She touches her pouting lips, they are not happy with her for ending
that
oh-so-glorious kiss. She can't believe she allowed it to happen, and
she knows
Bobby when they share a kiss in times of separation he's always
harped on
it later, wanting to know why it happened and if it would, could or
should
be happening again. Her mind drifts back to the Pearson trial kiss,
that
moment neither of them anticipated but both of them sub-consciously
orchestrated. Neither of them said a word at the time, but weeks
later, he was doing his usual cross-examination of the possibility it
was more than a kiss. She has no doubt he will be repeating that
pattern downstairs. She takes a deep cleansing breath, letting it out
in a long sad blow.

Okay Lindsay get a grip. Go down there and let him know NOTHING
has changed. The kiss was just a knee jerk reaction to the storm. NO
matter what he thinks he knows, he knows nothing unless you tell
him! "And you're NOT going to!" She adds out loud straightening her
shoulders ready to get her mission accomplished
once again like a good, obedient soldier should.

She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
jeans
and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
he's been
running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
style.
She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
banister.

"I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
open
in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
survey
the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
fingers and
lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"

She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
away as possible, that was the
plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
within her heart.

He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
chairs.
She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.

She sips the tea for courage.

He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
going
to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
into
an admission so be it!

"You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
attack.
"I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!

"Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
that,
bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just wants to
trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
doesn't EVER want to know what
he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
and sleep.
Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
be bliss
right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
wherever
and however she wanted.

"Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
infiltrated
with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
together again.

"I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
He'll
get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.

"I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring! I
KNOW
Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
it.

Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
she
hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
family.
NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
anyone
else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
happen!

Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
of them, namely
him and she can do it again!

"OH yes I do!"

"You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
do!" Lindsay
says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
you know!"
She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"

I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
Don't you
dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
uniquely twisted
way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
she said! After
she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
you and that's what this is about!"

She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
set
of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
it,
penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
of this is useless.
"Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.

"Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.

"IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"

"BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
disrespected by
your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
slung through the mud! I know what
it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
shakes her head backing away a little
"DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
through it all
from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
you to be maligned
in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
judgment from anyone!
They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
you
to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
really are, who YOU'VE always been!"

Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
it's not
the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
NOTHING
more true in his life than her place in his heart.

"Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
roll.

"This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
hold the pain
inside. "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
distance between them making
sure he is very much in her face.

"I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"

Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.

"Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
know!
You mean everything to me! You are MY life! Why don't YOU know it!"
Bobby's head shakes in resignation.

"I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
so
hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
dawn.
But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
right thing
for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
fantasy to hell.

"The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
justice
system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
infiltrates every
corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
you!" Lindsay is
determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
your side
remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
way. Lindsay
paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
important to you!"

Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
every
moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
tell her
how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
now!

"IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
may never have come back from!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"

"WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
hands.
He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
him again! At least he's learned
to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
that!

"Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
to NOT be
good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
assault spinning
around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
her eyes.

"I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
IF
anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
her not to believe she's ever been less to him.

"You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
seem
never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.

"Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
regret.


"NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
have it associated with you
if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
unintentional play on words
People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
in a protective gesture.

Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
firmly.
"That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.

"Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
him to deny the truth.

"NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
to vibrate.

Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
"I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.

"Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.

She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
leaving- because
it has to be the way it is."

"NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
Youuuuuu
are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.

"I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.

"Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
again.
"What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
us! We
were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"

"You know the saying Bobby **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
can't do it."
Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
words.

"YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR NO's for an answer anymore!"
Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
it all
and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
he would ever know
how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
there
were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
what her mind rationally concluded long ago.

"Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
won't matter once you do that!"

"I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
don't
want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
things
don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
deep quick
breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.

"At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
company. But now-
and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"

"DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"

"NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
thoughts
she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
think
of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
NOT
that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
did,
so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
on the
son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
innocent one in all of this!"

"STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
"You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
fondly.
"And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
just as they did
that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
insecurities.

Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.

"Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
better."

Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
and it totally infuriates Bobby.
"I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"

"I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
someday, you'll see
Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."

"But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
closing arguments
and he isn't about to lose this one!

"It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.

"Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
once and for all out of the picture!

"And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
unmarried,
FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
say will change my mind about that!"

"No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.

"THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
stood right here
in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
together!"
What the hell happened to that!"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
was
wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.

Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
Bobby's
pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
towards her. "I KNOW
how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.

"Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
you,
yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
did that day in the
office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
him again. "But there's
also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
her.

"LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"

"Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
rarely ever
do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"

"NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
her again. They
keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
no matter
what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
continue
the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
surrender.
Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
making it absolutely
impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
words, words she loves hearing.

Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
"I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
little unsure
of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
contract with NO loopholes."

"Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
are aching
with unshed tears.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
did
want to spare you the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
stupid
uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
almost as much
as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.

"See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
fashion
that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
at all.

"I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.

Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
the irony
in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
own,
without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.

Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
They share
a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
greatest
stumbling blocks.

"You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
pleading.

Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
entertained
there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
inside of her too.

"This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.

"Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
do this! It goes
to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
and bam you're gone!"
Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.

"I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
indecisive about what
the hell to do next.

"There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
you remember HOW disastrous that was?"

Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
truth
here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
afraid.

Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
see
what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
the
one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
gentle.

She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
to be,
but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
at all.
She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
I wouldn't
live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.

Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
taking
full advantage of her vulnerability.

"I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
his quietly spoken reassurances.

"You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
now. She's
failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
best
for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
from her for his own good.

"Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
embracing her waist.

"Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
truth. "I've
turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
anyone
else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
steady. Without
you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
you and our son's too. So know this
if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"

"Bobby I did it all out of."

"-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
informs her
not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
misunderstanding
as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
his
heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.

"And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
drawing closer and closer to hers.

"But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
to be honest
I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
court seat
and I knew up front the committee had reservations."

"I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
but he
holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.

"Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.

"But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
this
to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
like.

"I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
them
and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
testimony. He
meant every loving word.

"I didn't know."

"You didn't ask!"

"You should have said something!" She snarls back.

"HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.

Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.

"How did you find out-I was so careful to-."

"Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
agrees. He
guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
are not exactly off just yet.

"So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
pillow with her free arm.

"Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
came
together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
time) "Judge Hiller
(he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
that you knew about all of it!" I finally realized what all this
bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
firelight.

"I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
She acknowledges
what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
her. More now
than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
her
great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
was
sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
easy
escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
She whispers
tears glistening in her eyes.

"We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
know that's true."

"I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.

"You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
She does as ordered.

"I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
any kind Lindsay,
if they didn't want you by my side-"

"You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
part
of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
ever if it cost him his dream.

His fingers tighten around hers.
"NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
slightly.

"This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
trees-
and Judge Hiller is-"

"One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
hiding along
the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
Lindsay.

"What is this?"

"It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
Judge Hiller gave it to
me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.

Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.

Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.

"Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"

"Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
blanks hoping
she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.

Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
after
he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
first paragraph unable
to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
He'd hated her then.
How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
hours
later?

"READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
document.

She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
how much he respected her, admired her courage,
how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
because
her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.

"How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
and unshed tears sting.

"Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
her
amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
to
have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
document
will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
public
any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.

"You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
could
have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
for
her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
slides closer to her
while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
His husky voice is just above a whisper.

"Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
it feels to
become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
future.

But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
he's
doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
"OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
springs into his arms in less time than it takes
to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
forehead
more excited about it than he ever was.
She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!

She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
she heard
right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
fully congratulate
him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
his, no THEIR third dream coming true.

Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
voraciously.
Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
hair pulling her head closer and closer as
their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
part lips breathless
and exuberantly happy.

"I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"

He smiles tentatively.

Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
be. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
I win I always think wow
this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.

"About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
this!

"Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
Lindsay."
He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
scared-too
I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
know I can
let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
the people in my
life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
she will be honest with him. And this
has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
express it.
"I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
into that guy I was."

"Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
of her faith.

"I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"

"NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
even a little, you'll
have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
happy
anticipation.

Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.

Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
feel her
presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
she does it,
sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
senses his need
to know she's there.

"I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
But I want
you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."

"Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
thinking." Bobby
grins sheepishly.

"When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
one she'll
never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
wife. She smiles
giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
thinking it, let
alone experiencing it.

"Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
into the courthouse
and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
loves to prolong
the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"

"Yeah… I know!"

"Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
gotten it."

"Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
his arms contentedly.

"She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
really hard
to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
mind
was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
continues with his story.

"All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
and who
the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
Lindsay
he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."

Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.

"I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
at me like she always does. "

"You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.

"Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"

"What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.

She said some really surprising things."

"Like what?"

"Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
finally made
her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
to see Lindsay's
reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
also said I gave
the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
little reminding tease Lindsay's way.

She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
them. "She never
said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
know
there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.

"Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
she isn't
about to give them up without a through perusal.

Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
reading the
final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.

"I know- hard to believe."

"NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
accomplishment.

"So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
approval to have
the confidence he needs.

"I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
grinning widely.

"You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.

"Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
rescue mission.

Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
deeper later.

"Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
entirely
different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
tell you.
I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
when I left was that
I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
this with."

Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
her.

Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
for her. Just as he saved this
haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
obstacles
she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
confidante, her lover, her everything.

"I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
time.

"Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
ashamed
of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
pressured her to use it
in any way publicly.

"You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
reading his mind.

"As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
feel
unworthy another day of their lives.
They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
never return.

As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.

"If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE I will
take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
edict.

"You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
behavior
she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
everything he thinks he knows.

"I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
were here!"
Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.

He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
space
or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
open their
lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
emulates
every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
moment before his
mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
body.

She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
of his
chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
his lips nibbling her
ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
beating against
the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
to ignite
their aching need within.

"I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
eyes.

She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
beautiful eyes.

"Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
slight change
of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
opposite for weeks.

There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
voraciously imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
murmuring puppet.

Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
hers
as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
God knows
it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
delectably his.

Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
it, but she feels a little nagging
voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
flesh is weak
and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
down his lips
catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
the invitation greedily.

Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
completely yet.

He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."

She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
shoves the
little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
reassurances of love.

Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
always his.
Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.

Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
trembling, anticipating
ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
her back the returning, piercing, nagging
guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
they
were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
felt, why is he glossing over it as
if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
feels
to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
pretend.

He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
him to act as if it
doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
Ross's
place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
She inflicted
so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
be reeling inside?

Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
widen in guilty
awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
he obeys her wishes.

"Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
into
his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
do to
this delightful interlude.

"What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
about
gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
little boy's
she knows. He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
of her neck.

"NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
Ross." She
says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
water.

Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.

"I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
little. She
definitely hit an exposed nerve.

"We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
over exposed
in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
revert
to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.

"I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
want this
OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
conversation now!"

"NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
edgewise.

"NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
what's done
is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
other
words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
robe.
`We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
reconciliation
without having total honesty between them.

"You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
she? "Bobby
you and I need to discuss this!"

"No!"
Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
down inside.

"Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
sooner
this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
promise!" Lindsay
eyes implore his cooperation.

"If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
YOU'RE right
he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
the possibility.

"I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
you think!"

"You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
stomach. Oh God
why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?

"You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
immediately
shot down.

"I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
of death wish for their relationship!

"Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
is
so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
to
imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
daydreams.

"I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
he could put his hands over his ears
he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.

"The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
She
scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
like the vermin
she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
hope.

Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
penchant for lies.
"DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"

Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.

"I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"

"I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.

"I didn't!" Lindsay yells back.

"YOU DID! I not only saw you there like that-. as if it wasn't
enough! I heard IT!" Bobby informs her taking steps to ensure they
are very far apart. The space
between them feels like an empty vortex, that neither of them will
recover from.

"YOU heard it?" Lindsay shakes her head in exasperation and confusion.

"YES I HEARD EVERY DAMN WORD! You pleading with him to-I heard it
all! The kissing, your crying and I heard you Lindsay-" Bobby shakes
his head disgusted he has to relive it all again and again. "I HEARD
YOU BEGGING HIM TO!" He can't
say it, he can't say the damn words. He's been crazy to think he
could get over this
without so much as a blink.

"You couldn't have?" Lindsay asks her mind reeling with the
implications. Her
face is hot with embarrassment. How could he know? She didn't tell
anyone. Would Ross? No what reason would he have to go into such
detail. She feels her skin crawling with the idea that Bobby was
privy to her lowest moments. And she knows how
excruciatingly painful that exposing information would be to
him. "HOW" she asks
dreading his answer.

"ON THE DAMN TAPES ROSS MADE!" Bobby scowls trying
to hide the pain now is useless! Why has she forced this issue and
why in the hell is she lying through her teeth about it now!

"THE TAPES? He taped me that NIGHT!" Lindsay throat chokes as she
realizes the full implications of his treachery, but just as quickly
she registers yet another betrayal. "You were supposed to burn them
and that damned book!" She points her finger at him accusingly. She's
totally ashamed of her behavior
that fated night, and she can't believe Bobby has witnessed it so
intimately. She
also can't believe he didn't follow her wishes and destroy the
blasphemous evidence
against her. "You promised!" She shakes her head as her entire body
fills with fiery
indignation.

"Yeah, well you promised things too, Lindsay! And they didn't seem
to matter that much to you either!"

"You were supposed to get rid of all of it!" Lindsay shakes her head
in disbelief

"Yeah well I didn't!" Bobby hands exclaim his shock. "I wish to
God I had!"

"How could you listen to the private-"! Lindsay is angry at the
invasion
and the betrayal. She's mortified he heard her that night. She
remembers
being desperate to find a way to let him go. She'd found it all
right.

"I could and I did! You're my wife. You ran away- Ross told me your
actions
and words didn't add up to him and he said you were hiding something!
Dr. Ash
said so too, everyone could see it! We just didn't know what the hell
it was. Ross
said he heard things you said that didn't make sense. He told me to
listen to the tapes- Funny imagine that, another LOVER who can't
figure you out!" Bobby can't resist turning the screw to his own
heart. Maybe he hadn't evolved as much as he thought.

"You had NO right!" Lindsay blushes when she remembers
how desperately and wantonly she behaved that night. She remembers
his reaction when he found her at Ross's apartment after receiving
her cold, heartless good bye message.
She can still feel the welt he left on her neck when he ripped off
the diamond necklace
he'd given her. His look was vicious, as if she was some threat to
him and his
sanity. She remembers the stinging ache she felt as he
held the broken chain in his hands looking at her with so much
hateful contempt and she saw his anguish when he opened his fist and
dropped the diamond laden necklace to the floor.

She remembers picking it up after he left and how she fell against
the door
after it slammed shut, shaking with grief and longing. She knew he'd
never
forgive her, she was sure he would walk away forever. But he hadn't.
She'd
been so wrong about the way she handled everything! "How could you?
How
could you listen?" Lindsay can't believe he would want to torture
himself
even more.

"I had the right of husband to know what in the hell was going on
with his wife!
I found out plenty on those tapes- and YOUR own spoken words led me to
the truth!" Bobby informs her in a way that keeps her silent.

"I KNOW THE TRUTH LINDSAY SO DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO COVER
IT UP! And if you think it was easy to listen-" Bobby's disillusioned
eyes bore
into her.

"NO you don't know the whole truth!" Lindsay argues ready to battle
as long as this takes. And judging from Bobby's demeanor it won't
be a quick war. She knows how painful his experience was, and her
heart
hammers guiltily.

"Just admit you SLEPT WITH ROSS! I can't take going over and over
this again and again! "ITS DONE! YOU DID IT! MAYBE I DESERVED
IT- I DON'T KNOW WHY-. YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME-BUT I DON'T
CARE LINDSAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK WITHOUT YOU
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP US THIS TIME! I I
want YOU I want US! How in the HELL many ways and TIMES do I have to
prove it to you enough to stop YOUR LIES!" Bobby shouts. "HE WAS YOUR
LOVER
SO NOW THERE I SAID IT LETS JUST GET PAST IT CAN WE PLEASE!" Bobby
has a sinking feeling that the worst is not over yet. "JUST ADMIT IT!
You don't get
to lie to me ANYMORE!"

"I'll NEVER ADMIT IT AS LONG AS I LIVE Bobby because
I DIDN"T DO IT!" Lindsay snarls back.

"I heard you pleading with him to take you to bed!" Bobby snipes.

"YES YOU HEARD ME MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF- and you
heard us kissing-."

"I heard you taking your clothes off!" Bobby's face scrunches
painfully
his heart aching from the image his words invoke.

"Yes, I was wet- caught in the storm." she laughs humorlessly because
the night was very much like this one. "I went there because
I'd let you go- and I didn't know what else to do."

"Casual sex is always a good answer!" Bobby's voice is deceptively
low.

"You outta know!" Lindsay snaps back wishing she could control her
anger, but his denial in accepting the real truth she offers him now
is nerve wracking.
He's not taking this well, he won't accept that she deceived him in a
whole
different way than he imagined. And she knows either way, he's going
to feel
equally betrayed.

"You really can't let IT go can you Lindsay?" Bobby says hopelessly.
Maybe
she wasn't lying about the Sara part after all. He knows now first
hand
how much he is asking of her to be totally forgiven. Forgiveness
isn't as
easy as she tried to make it look. He knows that now.

"I have-let go Bobby, believe it! I know what that was, or what it
wasn't! But you won't LISTEN to me about what it wasn't with Ross!"
She wants to scream in frustration.

"Oh I listened to PLENTY!" The lion is roaring now.

Lindsay wants to stamp her feet and tear out her hair, why in the
hell won't
he hear her!
"WE NEVER HAD SEX! WE NEVER MADE LOVE! I never
expected you to show up the way you did! When you did, it seemed
like another opportunity to enforce that I didn't want to be with you
anymore-.I did it because of Judge Hiller's seat - that's why! It was
the day I left you the message remember-.when you came, Ross wasn't
even there-.he was catching a flight. or at least trying to, I was
alone-I had been alone in his bed. LISTEN TO ME BOBBY!" She isn't
lying he can see it in her eyes. She's saying the words but his mind
can't quite wrap around it.

The possibility that Lindsay is finally now telling the truth
and the implications of what that means makes Bobby a little
lightheaded and nauseous. He recalls that sordid scene in Ross's
apartment
seeing Lindsay in nothing but a robe. Ross's robe. Combining that
encounter
with the moans and fevered pitched utterances on the tapes- but he'd
never found the next part! There was never another tape to solidify
the ending to that scenario
that had played over and over in his head, he always filled in the
missing part, and
it had been nothing but torture to do so. He remembers the betrayal
he felt at knowing
that she'd barely let hours pass from their last sweet interlude
the night before, to her flying into Ross's waiting arms the next day!

He'd been in HELL since that night. It hurt so damn much! After
everything they'd worked for, all the old wounds they'd reopened and
finally
healed. All of that, followed by the earth shattering renewed passion
found here at Laharve. He'd never expected it- her infidelity came
out of nowhere and it killed him. He'd been trying so hard to
understand and to find a way to let it all go.

For whatever reason, she'd chosen to open those wounds again.
But he was just as determined to keep them shut, to find
forgiveness in his heart and soul. He was
prepared to overlook all of it to have her in his arms again.
And now to find out his torment was all for NOTHING! HE can't
believe she would be so cruel to him. He knows he hurt her before
with Sara, but their marriage was near the rocks then. Not like it
was when they came back from their trip. It was like
being newlyweds again! Life was sweet and beautiful and
filled with promise. They were so close to reconciling and to have
revived the
preciously gained trust between them only to have it wrenched away
without warning or plausible explanation. How could she do something
so cold
lying about what happened, torturing him with narrated and self
inflicted pictures
of her ultimate betrayal. Now suddenly it never happened. To say he
is shocked
is understatement personified.

How in the hell could she have the nerve and heartlessness to
do that to him? This can't be about loving him when she
purposely tore his heart out? How could she ever
convince herself she did it to protect him. She hurt the holy
hell out of him! Why take it so damn far! He feels his emotions
exploding as he realizes she's been even more duplicitous than
he ever imagined.

"Are you hearing me Bobby?" Lindsay asks quietly biting
her lip hard as she sees the myriad of pained expressions crossing
his face and shining in his deceived eyes. "I'm telling you the truth
now, this is THE TRUTH!" Lindsay admits again to reinforce her words.

"You lied about ALL OF IT! You never loved Ross? You were never
going to be married?" He turns on her as though he's never seen her
before his eyes are moist with unshed tears. "How could you do that
to me?"

"It seemed like the right thing- you would never have given up
on us- I mean-. if you thought-. I didn't want to hurt you Bobby
you have to believe- I did it all out of LOVE!" Lindsay insists trying
to touch his arms as she gets closer to him but he snaps it out of
her reach.

"LOVE! You call what you did to me LOVE! Have you lost your mind!"
Bobby lashes out the way he always has, because this revelation has
him
reeling. All rational thought has left him as he digests the degree of
betrayal she's reached to SPARE HIM! What a joke! He shakes his
head at her mouthing no, his mind is spinning out of control and his
body is trembling
with overwrought emotions.

Lindsay stands there feeling his sudden abandonment keenly ironically
her lips are still moist from his kisses her skin's still tingling
from his passionate ministries. Her eyes are cloudy and tearfully
emulate the sky outside. The worst of the storm is over, but the
damage is done and there may be some things left in its wake that are
irreparable. Lindsay holds her silence hoping he just needs some
time.

"What is it Lindsay? Is this about Sara? Did you decide Quid pro
quo?" Bobby laughs
derisively.

Lindsay shakes her head. "No! NEVER! Bobby I didn't plan it- it just
happened-"

"Ok I'm confused now Lindsay! What happened or didn't happen? Are you
sure
you even know!" Bobby's voice is contemptuous.

"YES! I KNOW! I DID NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH ROSS!"

"Oh God! You don't want to be under oath when you say that!" Bobby
informs
her scathingly.

"I'll swear it on a stack of bibles!" Lindsay promises.

"Oh really is that so, perjury is punishable by imprisonment
Lindsay."

"I-" Lindsay faces the facts he's right, she's had a fair amount of
intimacy with
good old Ross, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't so now.

He takes full advantage of her guilt to grill her more.
"And what do you call the kisses I heard and saw, I supposed
you'll say they were innocent too!" Bobby asks becoming the
tyrannical
prosecution.

"That is NOT the same as sleeping with him!" Lindsay hears the
weakness in her
own defense.

"But you admit you nearly slept with him MORE than once?" Bobby
pounds his
point.

"I-don't know- I mean we kissed you know that already! And ONE night
we came close-a LONG time before you and I were about to reconcile."
Lindsay rushes
her explanation hoping he will see reason.

"You don't call that cheating we're still married?" Bobby
snarls. "Funny when I did it and our marriage was nearly on the rocks
YOU called it cheating- we reconcile and you decide to do it or let
ME think you DID it, with him and you do share kisses and nudity with
another man-just when we were ready to renew our vows! So tell me
which is it Lindsay? Was it cheating or not!" His tone is iron.

She swallows hard. "I was the ONLY one naked! She flushes as she
realizes
how utterly incriminating her explanation is.

He laughs scathingly choking back the tears threatening to burst out
of his soul.

"NOTHING like what you think happened, HAPPENED!" Lindsay's voice is
raw and
emotionally wrought.

"SO YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Bobby glares at her condemningly.

"We kissed-we nearly-because I was out of my mind about you!" She
looks squarely
into his eyes and then as quickly cast them downwards. She wants to
take that look
from his face, she'd rather die than cause him this much humiliation
and pain. She knows she's the one who brought this on. She knows he
has to have his say before he'll ever
even try to see past her transgressions. "Okay Bobby, you're right,
what I did wasn't-"

Bobby's vision has become myopic and he isn't about to excuse her
behavior.
"So you didn't have the actual sex- but you let me BELIEVE you did for
how long now?" Bobby asks ready to throw her in a dungeon and
misplace the key forever.

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay begs him to forgive with sincerity and
repentance in her eyes.

"You're sorry!" Wow! Thanks!" Bobby feels like vomiting. When he
thinks of
all the times he agonized in his mind battling the sordid thoughts
and images of her and Ross. Maybe on some level he deserved the irony
of this, but right now, he isn't accepting or taking her deception
well. "How dare you!" His disgusted eyes look her up and down as
though she isn't worth his gaze.

Lindsay feels her body flushing in degradation and self hatred. She
remains silent
as she faces the error of her judgment. She never should have taken
it so far.
She can see his heart splitting in two over this. How could she have
ever thought
it was alright to hurt him so barbarically.

"Bobby, you have to know-" Lindsay approaches him the quaking of her
heart won't be stilled until he forgives her, he has to forgive her!

He backs away from her cornering himself against a wall. His hands
reach out behind
him to touch the wall, he is trying valiantly to steady his frazzled
nerves.

Lindsay is afraid to go to close she can feel his desire to get out
of being
anywhere near her. She has to get through to him before its too late.
"I LOVE YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU- I'LL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU- THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE- NO MATTER WHAT YOU
THINK- IN MY HEART THERE'S ONLY YOU."
Lindsay's voice shakes the sobbing tears beg him to soften just a
little.

"I can't hear this! I have to get out of here!" Bobby searches in
vain for his keys because
they were discarded in the wet heap of clothing upstairs. I have to
get the HELL out!"
He roars wishing to God he was anywhere but here.

Lindsay suddenly gets a burst of courage. She can't let him go. NOT
like this.
He might never come back. With the bravery comes a healthy dash of
anger. What the
hell is wrong with him! Okay so she lied- she was wrong. She had gone
off
the deep end and yes she couldn't disagree she had crossed some lines
with Ross. But she hadn't had the full blown affair he was so sure
she'd had, and that
has to get through his thick skull! "YOU KNOW WHAT Bobby I think
I'll leave!" Lindsay voice is deeply penetrating.

He turns back to face her. "FINE!" "It's what you do best!" He steps
away from the door offering her easy departure.

Lindsay didn't expect him to agree so easily.

Bobby can see the hesitation and he realizes she's in no condition to
go out side the way she's dressed. She's making empty threats. MORE
lies. He
can't take MORE lying. So it's up to him to expose them all!
"Where the hell do you think your going to go in this storm?"

Lindsay eyes flash she isn't about to let him wallow in pain, she's
got
to find a way to get him to the other side of it. After everything
they've
gone through, and all the beautiful possibilities before them she
isn't
about to let him throw it all away now. She pushes an annoying lock
of damp hair behind her ear.

"I don't know maybe what I should do is drive all the way BACK to
Boston so I can
find Ross and sleep with him! Isn't that what YOU want! I mean
before, just a few minutes ago you were ready and willing for that to
be the truth! As long as YOU found it okay in your self-righteous
heart to forgive me- I was in your good graces- but NOW since I
haven't had sex with him-your thinking I betrayed you more! Why
prolong the agony for us both! So what do you say Bobby? Once I have
sex with him, you'll be right- again and you can be the forgiving
husband? Would that make it okay?" Her voice
holds that steely assurance she uses in trial. She feels NONE of the
confidence
she's displaying but she doesn't know what else to do. She could lose
him forever
over this!

Lindsay knows she isn't being quite fair, but what about anything has
been
fair? She knows Bobby is hurt, she knows he has a right to feel the
way he feels.
But she can't afford to give him too much time to screw things up
worse between
them because if she does they may never make it back to each other,
and she wants
that so much. She won't ever treat him so callously again! She
silently vows she will make all of this up to him. He just has to
give her the chance. "I'll just go have
that little fling with Ross, that way you can have the adulterous
wife you
seem to need so badly!"

"DON'T BE RIDCULOUS!" Bobby shakes his head knowing that if Lindsay
is pushed far enough she would probably do it just to prove what an
idiot she
thinks he is. "You don't get to say that! Don't try to turn this
around ON ME!
I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE MANIPLIATED OUR LIVES INTO THIS
GIGANTIC MESS! AND BELIEVE ME LINDSAY NONE OF THIS IS
OKAY!"

"Oh come ON Bobby you wanted to be the sanctimonious husband that
took pity on his poor cheating wife? It's kind of fun to have the shoe
ON your foot for a change especially after Sara now isn't it?"
Lindsay knows this
could be the ultimate end to end all marriages. She knows he is going
to
get even angrier than he was before. "I'm sure if I call Ross he'd
be only too willing to help YOU out!"

"STOP IT!" Bobby gives into the childish desire and puts his hands
tightly over both ears. At least he's no longer standing by the door
as his defeated body collapses on the stairs.

"Oh why it's the TRUTH isn't it? What is it going to be Bobby! Are
you disappointed I didn't really sleep with him at all! Because NOW
were not even! And your
still the ONE who cheated! Will you ONLY be happy if I cheat ALL THE
WAY too!"
Lindsay taunts him knowing she is pushing his every nerve.

"You know what you did was unconscionable?" The last thing
Bobby wants is her to go anywhere near Ross Avery or Avery Ross
or whoever the HELL he is!

"I made some big mistakes…. but YOU knew I'd kissed Ross! You
knew everything up front, NOTHING was done behind YOUR back! Nothing
happened that YOU didn't know about- EXCEPT that I DIDN'T ever
sleep with HIM and WOULD NEVER have slept with HIM! I LOVE YOU
YOU! AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! YOU'RE HERE Bobby
even when you were SURE I'd been unfaithful. YOU came here. YOU
always know when I need YOU! And-and in spite of everything I've done
and said and led you to believe your still here- you came after me-
no matter how bad you thought it was- you were ready to forgive me-.
for everything! Bobby! She stops the tirade because she's exhausted
her
emotions have been in such an upheaval lately she's ready for it all
to be over, whatever over ends up being. All she can do is ask
for forgiveness, she's made her point, he should be seeing it more
clearly now, and if he doesn't, he doesn't. "You were ready
and willing to give me another chance, Bobby, you haven't let
anything I've done, or you thought I've done, stop you from being
here, so why are you now? I didn't know I'd ever tell you the truth.
I thought I was letting us go forever. "I thought I was doing
something
good, for you, something that would free you to be-"

Bobby's hand swipes the air denying she'd done him any good.

"Okay I know, I didn't succeed in my misguided intentions and I'm so
sorry,
you have to know that, hurting you was never something I wanted to do
again! PLEASE forgive me now-. Please-. I could NEVER have- I did go
beyond- I know was unfaithful in some-"

"YA THINK!" Bobby's ready to explode. Why doesn't she just shut
the hell up nothing she's saying will ever take away the worst
weeks of his life! HELL wasn't even as bad a place as he felt
he's come from. He jumps up off the step and heads to the door. But
as usual he can't do more than touch the damn knob. He turns around
his eyes gleam skeptically.

Lindsay, talks faster knowing she has to get him to come to his
senses somehow.
"I know it was horrible that I let you think-it was bad enough- But I
had no idea you'd ever hear those tapes! That isn't MY fault! I HATE
that you heard them!-I should have never let you believe it, but
Bobby that's the worst I could do, fool you into believing
it because I couldn't REALLY do it- ever-.EVER!" Lindsay eyes plead
again for him to think about this clearly. He remains stubbornly
quiet with his arms firmly folded on his chest.

"I didn't LOVE Ross- I NEVER would have gone through with a marriage
to him. I never intended to do anything but LOVE you for the rest of
my life!
When we left here, last time- and we had decided to renew our vows.
I meant every word I swear! But then everything went crazy! I just- I
got off track a little."

"A LITTLE Lindsay!" Bobby's eyebrows rise in sarcastic agreement.

"Okay I was WAY-WAY OUT OF LINE!" She admits it desperate to
get him to see that what he went through is OVER.
You're right it's what I do. What I've always done!
I think I'm still scared to fail! But Bobby I am MORE scared of
losing you forever,
than facing whatever the future holds. As LONG as I have YOU with me
I promise I won't ever deceive you or run away from you again!"

Bobby looks away from her focusing on nothing but preferring it
than to having to meet her traitorous eyes. Haven't they both
suffered enough? But how
can he forgive her lies about something so sacredly held between
them. And at time when he thought they had conquered every doubt,
every barrier. She lied and he'd suffered deeply. "I'm not sure I can
even look at you right now- Lindsay…" Bobby swallows the burgeoning
lump in his throat. He buries his head in his hands.

"I'm here Bobby." Lindsay teary voice is not even persuasion
enough. "I'm going
to be here until you do look at me, and see that what I'm telling you
now is the
truth. "I'm standing right here Bobby." She reminds him of words they
have
spoken before in uncertain and painful times. She knows they will hit
home.

He raises his head morosely. He closes his eyes on those familiar
haunting words.
"I must have failed horribly at making you feel loved enough." Bobby
turns it on himself.
He has to find a way to take the blame here, because if this is all
Lindsay's fault
if she really did this, how can he live with it? "Somehow I let you
down and you
didn't feel secure." Bobby can't believe it but it must be true.

"NO!" That's NOT true, YOU know you were absolutely wonderful- it
was me! I really thought I was doing it, ALL OF IT to protect you,
I'd do anything
for you Bobby, even something this unimaginable. "I felt adored by you
again, and I knew how much loved me we'd fallen in love again. You
showed me so beautifully. I really thought it was the only way to let
you go, and for you to want to go."

Bobby remembers how she admitted she didn't feel adored when the
marriage was on the verge of crumbling. He'd let her say it, he didn't
assure her she was. But she'd always been adored by him.

"I just don't understand how you thought ripping my heart out, was
going
to HELP me, WHY don't you want to protect my HEART more than you want
to protect my career?" Bobby's voice is soft filled with conflicting
feelings.
"You're supposed to be the one I can entrust it too, I just can't
believe
you didn't know what this would do to me? How could you NOT know!
God Lindsay! I wanted to crawl into dark hole and never come out
again." A few tears fall in spite of his effort to stifle them. He
relives the recent weeks of turmoil and tortuous uncertainty. He
turns his back on her because he can't reconcile her actions with her
assurances of love.

Lindsay hates to see him so broken. She thought that if she ever had
a chance
to tell him the whole truth someday, that he would forgive her more
easily than if she had been totally unfaithful She has been so
wrapped up in keeping up the subterfuge that she didn't take the time
to focus on ALL the ramifications of her actions. She steps up
to his broad shouldered back tentatively touching it with both hands.
The
feel of her fingers thorough his shirt, touching him so intimately
causes a
damn to burst inside of him. He shoulders shake with the force of the
rampant release. Slowly Lindsay circles him until she is standing in
front of him.
Silently she opens her arms and even while his head is shaking in
denial
he finds his own arms pulling her to him. They both cry out all the
craziness, pain, frustration and deep seated fears they've held inside
for far too long.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me." Lindsay muffled words
calm
him, hearing her voice always did that. Even if he was angry and upset
with her, he found solace in her softly spoken intonations. "I really
wish
I could take it all back-but I can't!" Lindsay's filled with remorse
and regret.
What had she been thinking? He might never trust her again. She sees
the irony
now in her misguided intentions. "I've been a certifiable idiot!" She
whispers
softly into his ear. His tears have abated and he pushes her back
from his body, staring
at her absently, lost in a little war waging in his head while a more
fearsome mêlée is occurring within his heart. How can what she did be
forgiven? How can it not. He has to let this go somehow, shouldn't he
be thrilled. She hadn't slept with Ross. He'd hated
even thinking it, now he doesn't have to anymore. It's true he should
be on cloud nine.
Why can't he just let it go and accept her obviously heart felt
sorrow. "I don't know."
He utters his uncertainty out loud. Bobby doesn't know what to say
next, he knows they are wavering precariously over one last cliff.

Lindsay hands go up in despair. What will it take for him to see how
repentant she is?

Bobby sees her aggravation he knows those feelings well. He'd felt
helpless
and misunderstood enough times by her to recognize her expression
easily.

"What can I do Bobby?" Lindsay eyes plead for some kind of
absolution.

"You can be completely honest for the first time in weeks. "He laughs
sarcastically.
"Of course how can I really know what is the TRUTH when you speak?"

"I WILL tell you ANYTHING you want to know, and it will BE truthful!
I won't
EVER lie to you again about ANYTHING!" She holds her hand up as if
she is about
to testify in a court of law. The only thing missing is the bible.

Bobby wants direct contact with her eyes. He will know the truth, the
idea of it
has been eating away at him, he has to know this once and for all,
before anything will ever seem right between them again.

"I want to know about YOUR feeling towards Ross! I KNOW you had to
have felt
something-" his hand passes over his eyes because he doesn't really
want to know the truth about this but he has to face it and so does
she!

"Bobby-" Lindsay is a deer caught in headlights, if she faces his
question head
on she will be hit between the eyes. And if she runs-well that's not
an option because
she has no where to go.

"I KNOW you NEVER would have told him everything you did, without some
kind of deep connection. You would NEVER have turned to him even in
desperation-"
Bobby apparently loves to torture himself because he's going straight
for the juggler
vein on this one. "You had to have feelings Lindsay, I know you-you
don't let
people in so easily."

Lindsay eyes tear up, she knows he's right. She felt something. What
does she
say to him now? Whatever she says is going to be damning. She chooses
her words carefully knowing her answer will make or break her future.

"Never MIND Lindsay, your silence is answer enough!" Bobby shakes his
head unable to stand there waiting. He's waited LONG enough for her.

"NO! She grabs for his shirt sleeve just as he begins to turn away.
"YOU'RE NOT going anywhere! You want an answer, and I intend
to give you ONE!"

"I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE TRUTH!" Bobby's strangled tone tells her
she's got
limited time.

"I've told you Bobby, I met Ross by accident, I wasn't looking-I was
still in denial about us-he came into my life-he listened-he was sweet
and kind-and I felt-appreciated-and understood by him. I guess
I soaked it up-because I never thought I'd feel that way with anyone
ever again. So yes, the feelings I had about him were real."

Bobby's eyes close as she speaks.

"But HE didn't turn out to be real at all!" She explains quickly
hoping he will have the fortitude to stick with her till she's done
speaking.

His open accusingly. "That doesn't change how YOU feel Lindsay
trust me I know that!"

"Yes, there were times I wanted to fall madly in LOVE with Ross!"
Lindsay admission nearly sends Bobby running. "But I couldn't!
WHY? Because I still LOVED you!" She paces in a circle now, similar
to the one
she felt she was in her whole life, repeating those insipid patterns
over and over
because she'd never quite gotten it right. "I never stopped! NOT NOW,
NOT
THEN! NEVER! What I felt for Ross was some kind of connection, I won't
deny it, I feel connections to a LOT of people Bobby, Helen, Lucy,
Ellenor,
Bec, Jimmy, Eugene- and it was love, like I have for any one of them,
a form
of love, he was good to me when I needed someone who didn't know me,
everyone
here knew me before all the stuff we went through- but Ross accepted
me as I am now, not expecting who I used to be. It was just easier
being with him, it was nice being valued in spite of everything-. And
I had no idea he would betray us the way
he did." Lindsay eyes implore him to hear this once and for all. "I
guess
with the trust we had so damaged, I needed someone I could trust, I
needed him
to talk to, because I'd missed what we had so much."

Bobby feels the iceberg melting inside, at least she's not
excusing the physical intimacy with Ross, and he knows she
is trying hard to come to terms with what exactly Ross did mean to
her.

"You were right Bobby; a lot about what I did was running away.
I do it ALL the time. I've been doing it since the day I met you,
because I've been so afraid, I'd lose you, it feels like hell to KEEP
losing you over and over again!" Lindsay cries soulfully expressing
the loneliness in her eyes.

"Tell me about it!" Bobby agrees sighing deeply. He can't hate her,
he understands her so well. He sees a reflection of himself in her, he
always has. They both have so many fears about opening their hearts,
they've overcome so much but there is still a lot they haven't
touched.
He knows the ONLY way they will ever conquer this is to stay together
and prove themselves wrong. They can survive ANYTHING! They have
been unified in so many battles. She's his partner. She will be
forever
no matter what. Is he really so full of pride and anger that he'd pass
on a relationship with her, his life, his love, his soul's perfect
mate? There
never been any answer but the one happening now as he reaches
for her offering her his hand, his heart his soul.

She takes it, squeezing it tentatively smiling uncertainly through
the tears.

"You don't love him, like-"Bobby head shakes slightly he had to be
sure.

"NO!" Lindsay shakes her head vigorously.
"Bobby I chose you too! You knocked me off my feet, and
sprayed me with coffee. You let me think you were someone else, you
disappeared and I thought I might never see you again, but when I
walked into that office I was wishing it would be you. And it was
you. It's always been you. I've never looked back, or even forward,
really without YOU. You're the reason I grew
into that woman you spoke of earlier. You loving me- I'd never loved
anyone, the way I love you. Bobby" she struggles with tears
threatening to muffle her words. "I was
so afraid I'd never feel-you know! You made me feel beautiful and
alive
and gave me so much more than I ever dreamed."

Bobby immunity is weakening, hearing Lindsay recalling the first
moments
of their shared capitulation begins to diminish his anger.
"All I ever wanted was to make you happy." Bobby whispers.

"YOU DID! No one else ever could the way you do! "Lindsay wants so
much to
be held by him, but she feels the tenseness of his hand in hers. "You
don't know how
it felt- she gulps a little feeling the ache return to her chest. She
touches her
heart with her free hand. "I-I- couldn't breathe thinking-" she gasps
a little
for the elusive breath just thinking about it. "Bobby thinking I'd
never be"
her voice breaks as tears flow freely. "your wife, I'd never feel
your arms
holding me-"Lindsay can barely utter the words.

Bobby can't bare to see her in anguish. He's seen it too much. He
knows
her heart, he can feel it as he holds her trembling hand. He gently
takes
the hand she holds against her heart into his. He gives her a minute
to
calm herself, His thumbs stroke the top of her hands. She raises her
watery eyes to his begging for amnesty.

"You promise me HERE and Now that you've stopped this crazy
idea in your head that you have to run ever again!" Bobby voice
is soft but stern.

He clasps her hand a little tighter as he waits for her answer.

"I'll never run again, as long as I don't ever lose you." Lindsay
pledges as he pulls her tenderly towards him wrapping her
protectively in his arms. Tears of relief are falling unabashedly

"I'm still quite angry with you!" He informs her softly as his
fingers erase the cleansing tears.

"I know-" She smiles fondly as she lets out a tiny left-over hiccup.

He wishes he could hold her like this forever and shut out the entire
world for eternity. But he's not quite ready to do that yet.

"Lindsay Dole if YOU EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!"

Her smile is full fledged now she knows he's started the forgiveness
process.
"I WON'T!" she vows.

"NO RUNNING! NO LYING!" Bobby is like an adamant father who
has been kept awake waiting all night for his naughty kid to come home
from God knows where. She has to know the rules! "NO MORE FEAR! If
either of us is afraid we talk, to one another or to Dr. Ash, it
doesn't matter as long as WE TALK!"

She nods agreeing as her eyes dance in happy anticipation.

"I'm still MAD!" He reinforces the point because he knows it's
useless for
him to try to stay angry at her for any substantial length of time,
and damn
it she's always known that! Whatever resistance he felt before is
melting away.

"Bobby, I'll make this up-"

"ABOUT YOU!" Bobby interrupts finally giving them both what they
so desperately want. She feels his absolution as his lips part hers
greedily.
Soft moans followed by long sated sighs fill the silence. Slowly they
move towards complete capitulation as desires ignite and all thought
of distancing perishes. "I want you now, Lindsay I can't-"Bobby's
whispers
ardently.

"Love me." Lindsay answers breathlessly.

He pulls her up against him her arms embrace him to her
tightly he lifts her feet off the floor her legs enwrap
around his thighs as he carries and kisses her lowering her to the
soft pillowed
space in front of the fireplace.

The flames of fire dance casting shadows of the two reunited lovers
discarding the last
barriers between them, clothing flies landing in puddles around the
room. As they kneel together joyously embracing at last all
misunderstandings melting into happy surrendering ecstasy. Waves of
pleasure crash over them euphoric tides of reverberating bliss fill
them up brimming them over in bubbling frothy delight. Palms meet
fingers intertwined squeezing, clenching holding fast as they ascend
to the stars and back again. They lay bathed in the golden fire lit
glow reveling as finally they become one, one heart one mind, one
body and one soul, harmonizing in euphoric universal song.

"Bobby" Lindsay sighs in happy resignation.

"Lindsay" He breathes her name as if it's his life's sustenance.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A few hours later, Lindsay feels her body being gently covered with a
soft
knitted blanket, she feels his arms lift her, as she drowsily awakens
looking
up into his contented eyes. "Where are we going?" Her arms greedily
encircle
his neck.

"Forward, Lindsay we're only going forward." Bobby assures her.

She smiles sighing thoroughly sated.

He ascends the steps stopping every two to kiss her a little more
fervently with
each detainment. Lindsay is giggling softly because she loves being
treasured
in his arms.

Finally they reach his intended goal, their bedroom, and the freshly
lit fire
is glowing invitingly the bed covers are turned back beckoning to be
enjoyed.

Lindsay grins as she sees the advanced preparation.

"I'm getting a little too old to spend the entire night on that
floor!" Bobby admits
grimacing to get some sympathy, as he lays her gently into the downy
mattress.

"Ah so I strained a few of those muscles did I."

"Oh I think there's a bit of stamina left in here, you want to test
me- to make sure?" He whispers in happy anticipation.

"I think I really should do a through examination" She kisses his neck
wanting to start the procedure immediately. "Bobby be careful, I
almost
forgot the broken glass." she reminds him still a bit groggy.

"I took care of it my love, but to be on the safe side I'll keep
your feet off the floor all morning!" He promises.

"Ah-you know just what I need." She kisses his nose lovingly, as he
settles
down into the soft pillowed mattress swooping her immediately into
his arms.

"Lindsay, something's been on my mind and I gotta know before
we-" Lindsay is beginning her hands on scrutiny of his body, kissing
each possibly afflicted area. He sighs deeply nearly forgetting
he has a mind let alone anything in it.

"mmmmm nice." He drawls quietly hoping she ignores his earlier
request to talk.

She stops though leaving his ailing exposed skin feeling woefully
abandoned.

"What is it Bobby, are you still having doubts-"Her eyes penetrate his
afraid the worst may not be over after all.

"NO LINDS NO! Bobby has none left, "-its silly, you said it wasn't
important, and I should-"

"What?" She is trying to think of something she's said that would
leave him in question,
but she's clueless, and her hands would like very much to return his
skin.

"I just was wondering what in the hell had you all the way outside
the house
on top of the roof? You said you'd lost something?"

Lindsay's hand abruptly goes up to her head in instant abject recall.

"Oh Bobby, it's-I- if we can't find-" She is wide awake now
remembering
she never told him what happened.

"What is it Lindsay? It's not the cork to the wine bottle?" He
remembers
his dismissive thoughts and he can see this whatever it is, has more
significant
than a cork. "What did you lose baby, whatever it is
we'll get it back, don't worry!" His arms extend to get her back to
the
comfort of his body.

"Oh Bobby, it was- my rings!" She takes the empty chain from
around her neck, she'd replaced it there after the rings were long
gone, preferring not to lose anymore precious jewelry.

"Your rings?" Bobby's eyes crinkle in question.

"I wore them on this" She dangles the chain for him to see. "When
I came here today, I wanted to put them on, I thought it would be the
I-I just wanted to see them on my finger again-I thought it was
the last time." She feels awful having to admit she lost them. Bobby
had
chosen and bought the engagement diamond ring long before he ever
proposed, and when he did she loved it, knowing how he had held onto
it through so many doubtful
twists and turns. Now for it to be lost, she seldom got attached to
material
possessions but this, was one she wanted with her forever. This held
so many sentiments and feelings.

"You've been wearing them since-?"
Bobby realizes now that she hadn't ever let go of him, if she kept
those rings that close to her heart, and then it meant that's where
she kept him too.

She nods miserably. "After I'd left you the message- except when you
were around, I made sure-if you'd seen-you'd of known-"Lindsay
sheepishly admits. "I'm sorry Bobby I lost them and with this storm-
they could have blown anywhere!"

"Ah Lindsay don't cry, sweet one, we'll find them, and if we don't,
I'll
get you new ones-" He holds her tenderly against him.

"I don't want new ones, I love my rings! You bought the diamond and
even
when we were so far apart, you kept it and I wanted to keep it
forever.

"I know it's okay sweetie."

"And my wedding band, we chose those together- we were married
without them remember? In my rush to change the wedding I forgot they
were at the jewelers being sized, and you had Jimmy call and run down
to the store, his uncle was so sweet to open up for us-and Jimmy
brought them just in time, so we could take them with us, remember?"

Of course he did, there wasn't one spectacular moment forgotten.
He recalls the wonderful feeling as he slipped the sparkling platinum
band
on her ring finger, making her forever his. They'd only had a short
weekend
here at Laharve after the ceremony, and so it was here, fittingly that
Bobby and Lindsay exchanged the matching platinum bands. They'd
done it in the most sacred haven by the waterfall, the magnificent
place
was the perfect setting to remarry one another in an even smaller
impromptu
ceremony. Bobby had phoned Claire and as usual she came through with
and rice and a perfectly stocked cottage, complete with candlelight
champagne and flowers. And of course a slight scolding too, for
daring to
be married without her and Sam at the ceremony."

"I'll never forget how it felt to have you slip that ring on my
finger, it felt
as though you let me into your heart, that moment." Lindsay confides.

"I let you in, long before that Lindsay, but I know what you mean,
marriage
is sacred, it connected us irrevocably."

They kiss to seal the sentiment.

She nods sadly rubbing her thumb over her barren ring finger.

"They're just rings Lindsay." Bobby tries to reassure her, but he
knows they
mean more than that.

Lindsay touches Bobby's left hand as if she's viewing a priceless
painting.
"You never took it off?" She marvels that through all the tribulation,
and doubts, even immediately after they separated, Bobby still wore
the ring.

Bobby shakes his head smiling awkwardly. "I guess it's more than a
ring."
He admits as he squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Lindsay we'll get
yours back." His fingers go under her bowed chin raising her face to
meet his eyes. "You'll have them back!" He reiterates softly.

"I won't take them off, ever again!" Lindsay promises. They kiss
languishing in the
reawakened pleasure of being free to express affection. Bobby strokes
her hair
deciding this is as good a time too get an answer to another
pestering question.

"Lindsay, that brings something else to mind. Are we-" Bobby's almost
afraid to ask.

Lindsay is happily returning to all her wifely duties including mind-
reading. "NO! I never
filed the papers, I never even signed them when you gave them to me!"

"So we're still-" Bobby impish pleased grin.

"Legal in all states." She assures him equally thrilled.

"Ah-good, then when we took those vows-"

"It was forever." Lindsay fills in his thoughts.

"Forever" he echoes contentedly.

"Loving you is the best thing I ever did Lindsay Dole." Bobby is
scooting
down into the covers bringing her with him.

"You haven't done it yet!" She teases him. "My exam was rudely
interrupted remember?"

"Oh is that so, well please continue, by all means." Bobby urges,
rocking
a little on his elbow, lying sideways towards facing her unwittingly
making himself
all too available.

"Ohhhhhh maybe I don't want to anymore!" She grins. "I think I'd
rather play CRY UNCLE!" She surprises Bobby by pushing him over
on to his back and straddling him by kneeling over him. She is
holding his very sensitive fingers in her hand threateningly as he
looks up in wide-eyed but complacent indulgence.

"Are you ready to beg for mercy?" She taunts Cheshire cat smile in
full bloom.
"Come on don't you want to look me over." Bobby's entreaty goes on
deaf
ears, because Lindsay is more than looking him over holding the
crooked finger as her
hostage she bends over his invitingly languid body and begins to
administer
her best revenge. "This is for keeping me waiting on that roof in the
rain!"
She whispers kissing his neck and then his ears, moving saucily along
his jaw line
until she reaches his mouth and his alluring, tempting, and engaging
lips.
She exacts her most deliriously demanding form of punishment. Bobby
sighs contentedly allowing her to whip him into shape. "I'll never
keep you waiting on a roof again" he promises as he turns the tables
on her flipping her over onto her back, their legs entangle and latch
together mutual laughter shakes the bedding. Slowly the laughter
fades away
becoming soft murmured whispers, and happy ecstatic rapturous
declarations
of devotion.

The two happily married halves rejoin melodiously and sacredly as
one.
All the darkness fades away, the ominous clouds depart making way for
the full silvery moon and insuring the sweetest of future dreams. The
deep clear midnight skies unveil twinkling magical stars just waiting
to grant reconciled lovers their fondest wishes and most prayed for
desires. As night fades into morning, the sun rises majestically
casting a hazy orange-pink glow over the two euphorically sleeping
lovers who will shortly be awakened to a glorious new dawn.

End of Part 29

This will pick up where it leaves off and then there will be Epilogue
type
of ending I hope you enjoy it! Sorry this got long but as usual
I thought it would lose some punch if I broke it up in the middle
of their confrontations. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear
what you think, good or bad.









Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"








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Continuation from part A Encore 29 with a touch of Soul B


She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
jeans
and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
he's been
running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
style.
  She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
banister.

"I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
open
in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
survey
the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
fingers and
lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"

She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
away as possible, that was the
plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
within her heart.

He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
chairs.
She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.

She sips the tea for courage.

He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
going
to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
into
an admission so be it!

"You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
attack.
"I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!

"Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
that,
bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just  wants to
trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
doesn't EVER want to know what
he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
and sleep.
Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
be bliss
right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
wherever
and however she wanted.

"Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
infiltrated
with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
together again.

"I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
He'll
get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.

"I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring!  I
KNOW
Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
it.

Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
she
hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
family.
NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
anyone
else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
happen!


  Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
of them, namely
him and she can do it again!

"OH yes I do!"

"You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
do!" Lindsay
says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
you know!"
She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"

I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
Don't you
dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
uniquely twisted
way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
she said! After
she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
you and that's what this is about!"


She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
set
of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
it,
penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
of this is useless.
"Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.

"Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.

"IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"

"BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
disrespected by
your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
slung through the mud! I know what
it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
shakes her head backing away a little
"DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
through it all
from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
you to be maligned
in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
judgment from anyone!
They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
you
to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
really are, who YOU'VE always been!"

Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
it's not
the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
NOTHING
more true in his life than her place in his heart.

"Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
roll.

"This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
hold the pain
inside.  "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
distance between them making
sure he is very much in her face.

"I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"

Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.

"Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
know!
You mean everything to me! You are MY life!  Why don't YOU know it!"
Bobby's head shakes in resignation.

"I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
so
hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
dawn.
But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
right thing
for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
fantasy to hell.

"The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
justice
system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
infiltrates every
corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
you!" Lindsay is
determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
your side
remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
way. Lindsay
paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
important to you!"

Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
every
moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
tell her
how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
now!

"IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
may never have come back from!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"

"WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
hands.
He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
him again! At least he's learned
to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
that!

"Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
to NOT be
good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
assault spinning
around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
her eyes.

"I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
IF
anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
her not to believe she's ever been less to him.

"You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
seem
never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.

"Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
regret.


"NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
have it associated with you
if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
unintentional play on words
People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
in a protective gesture.

Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
firmly.
"That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.

"Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
him to deny the truth.

"NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
to vibrate.

Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
"I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.

"Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.

She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
leaving- because
it has to be the way it is."

"NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
Youuuuuu
are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.

"I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.

"Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
again.
"What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
us! We
were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"

"You know the saying Bobby  **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
can't do it."
Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
words.

"YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR  NO's for an answer anymore!"
Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
it all
and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
he would ever know
how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
there
were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
what her mind rationally concluded long ago.

"Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
won't matter once you do that!"

"I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
don't
want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
things
don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
deep quick
breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.

"At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
company. But now-
and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"

"DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"

"NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
thoughts
she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
think
of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
NOT
that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
did,
so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
on the
son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
innocent one in all of this!"

"STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
"You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
fondly.
"And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
just as they did
that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
insecurities.

Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.

"Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
better."

Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
and it totally infuriates Bobby.
"I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"

"I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
someday, you'll see
Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."

"But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
closing arguments
and he isn't about to lose this one!

"It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.

"Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
once and for all out of the picture!

"And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
unmarried,
FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
say will change my mind about that!"

"No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.

"THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
stood right here
in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
together!"
What the hell happened to that!"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
was
wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.

Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
Bobby's
pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
towards her. "I KNOW
how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.

"Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
you,
yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
did that day in the
office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
him again. "But there's
also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
her.

"LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"

"Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
rarely ever
do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"

"NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
her again. They
keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
no matter
what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
continue
the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
surrender.
Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
making it absolutely
impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
words, words she loves hearing.

Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
"I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
little unsure
of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
contract with NO loopholes."

"Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
are aching
with unshed tears.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
did
want to spare you  the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
stupid
uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
almost as much
as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.

"See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
fashion
that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
at all.

"I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.

Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
the irony
in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
own,
without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.

Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
They share
a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
greatest
stumbling blocks.

"You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
pleading.

Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
entertained
there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
inside of her too.

"This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.

"Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
do this! It goes
to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
and bam you're gone!"
Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.

"I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
indecisive about what
the hell to do next.

"There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
you remember HOW disastrous that was?"

Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
truth
here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
afraid.

Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
see
what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
the
one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
gentle.

She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
to be,
but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
at all.
She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
I wouldn't
live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.

Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
taking
full advantage of her vulnerability.

"I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
his quietly spoken reassurances.

"You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
now. She's
failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
best
for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
from her for his own good.

"Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
embracing her waist.

"Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
truth. "I've
turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
anyone
else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
steady. Without
you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
you and our son's too. So know this
if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"

"Bobby I did it all out of."

"-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
informs her
not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
misunderstanding
as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
his
heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.

"And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
drawing closer and closer to hers.

"But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
to be honest
I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
court seat
and I knew up front the committee had reservations."

"I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
but he
holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.

"Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.

"But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
this
to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
like.

"I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
them
and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
testimony. He
meant every loving word.

"I didn't know."

"You didn't ask!"

"You should have said something!" She snarls back.

"HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.

Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.

"How did you find out-I was so careful to-."

"Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
agrees. He
guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
are not exactly off just yet.

"So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
pillow with her free arm.

"Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
came
together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
time) "Judge Hiller
(he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
that you knew about all of it!"  I finally realized what all this
bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
firelight.

"I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
She acknowledges
what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
her. More now
than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
her
great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
was
sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
easy
escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
She whispers
tears glistening in her eyes.

"We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
know that's true."

"I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.

"You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
She does as ordered.

"I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
any kind Lindsay,
if they didn't want you by my side-"

"You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
part
of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
ever if it cost him his dream.

His fingers tighten around hers.
"NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
slightly.

"This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
trees-
and Judge Hiller is-"

"One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
hiding along
the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
Lindsay.

"What is this?"

"It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
Judge Hiller gave it to
me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.

Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.

Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.

"Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"

"Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
blanks hoping
she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.

Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
after
he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
first paragraph unable
to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
He'd hated her then.
How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
hours
later?

"READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
document.

She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
how much he respected her, admired her courage,
how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
because
her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.

"How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
and unshed tears sting.

"Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
her
amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
to
have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
document
will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
public
any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.

"You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
could
have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
for
her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
slides closer to her
while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
His husky voice is just above a whisper.

"Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
it feels to
become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
future.

But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
he's
doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
"OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
springs into his arms in less time than it takes
to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
forehead
more excited about it than he ever was.
She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!

She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
she heard
right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
fully congratulate
him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
his, no THEIR third dream coming true.

Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
voraciously.
Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
hair pulling her head closer and closer as
their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
part lips breathless
and exuberantly happy.

"I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"

He smiles tentatively.

Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
be. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
I win I always think wow
this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.

"About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
this!

"Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
Lindsay."
He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
scared-too
I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
know I can
let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
the people in my
life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
she will be honest with him. And this
has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
express it.
"I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
into that guy I was."

"Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
of her faith.

"I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"

"NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
even a little, you'll
have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
happy
anticipation.

Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.

Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
feel her
presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
she does it,
sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
senses his need
to know she's there.

"I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
But I want
you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."

"Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
thinking." Bobby
grins sheepishly.

"When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
one she'll
never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
wife. She smiles
giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
thinking it, let
alone experiencing it.

"Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
into the courthouse
and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
loves to prolong
the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"

"Yeah… I know!"

"Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
gotten it."

"Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
his arms contentedly.

"She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
really hard
to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
mind
was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
continues with his story.

"All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
and who
the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
Lindsay
he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."

Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.

"I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
at me like she always does. "

"You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.

"Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"

"What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.

She said some really surprising things."

"Like what?"

"Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
finally made
her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
to see Lindsay's
reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
also said I gave
the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
little reminding tease Lindsay's way.

She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
them. "She never
said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
know
there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.

"Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
she isn't
about to give them up without a through perusal.

Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
reading the
final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.

"I know- hard to believe."

"NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
accomplishment.

"So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
approval to have
the confidence he needs.

"I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
grinning widely.

"You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.

"Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
rescue mission.

Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
deeper later.

"Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
entirely
different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
tell you.
I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
when I left was that
I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
this with."

Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
her.

Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
for her. Just as he saved this
haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
obstacles
she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
confidante, her lover, her everything.

"I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
time.

"Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
ashamed
of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
pressured her to use it
in any way publicly.

"You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
reading his mind.

"As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
feel
unworthy another day of their lives.
They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
never return.

As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.

"If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE  I will
take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
edict.

"You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
behavior
she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
everything he thinks he knows.

"I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
were here!"
Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.

He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
space
or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
open their
lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
emulates
every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
moment before his
mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
body.

She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
of his
chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
his lips nibbling her
ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
beating against
the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
to ignite
their aching need within.

"I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
eyes.

She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
beautiful eyes.

"Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
slight change
of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
opposite for weeks.

There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
voraciously  imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
murmuring puppet.

Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
hers
as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
God knows
it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
delectably his.

Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
it, but she feels a little nagging
voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
flesh is weak
and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
down his lips
catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
the invitation greedily.

Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
completely yet.

He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."

She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
shoves the
little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
reassurances of love.

Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
always his.
Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.

Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
trembling, anticipating
ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
her back the returning, piercing, nagging
guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
they
were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
felt, why is he glossing over it as
if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
feels
to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
pretend.

He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
him to act as if it
doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
Ross's
place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
She inflicted
so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
be reeling inside?

Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
widen in guilty
awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
he obeys her wishes.

"Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
into
his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
do to
this delightful interlude.

"What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
about
gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
little boy's
she knows.  He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
of her neck.

"NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
Ross." She
says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
water.

Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.

"I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
little. She
definitely hit an exposed nerve.

"We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
over exposed
in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
revert
to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.

"I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
want this
OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
conversation now!"

"NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
edgewise.

"NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
what's done
is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
other
words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
robe.
`We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
reconciliation
without having total honesty between them.

"You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
she? "Bobby
you and I need to discuss this!"

"No!"
  Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
down inside.

"Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
sooner
this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
promise!" Lindsay
eyes implore his cooperation.

"If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
YOU'RE right
he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
the possibility.

"I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
you think!"

"You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
stomach. Oh God
why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?

"You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
immediately
shot down.

"I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
of death wish for their relationship!

"Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
is
so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
to
imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
daydreams.

"I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
he could put his hands over his ears
he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.

"The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
She
scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
like the vermin
she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
hope.

Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
penchant for lies.
"DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"

Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.

"I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"

"I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.

"I didn't!" Lindsay yells back.

"YOU DID! I not only saw you there like that-. as if it wasn't
enough! I heard IT!" Bobby informs her taking steps to ensure they
are very far apart. The space
between them feels like an empty vortex, that neither of them will
recover from.

"YOU heard it?" Lindsay shakes her head in exasperation and confusion.

"YES I HEARD EVERY DAMN WORD! You pleading with him to-I heard it
all! The kissing, your crying and I heard you Lindsay-" Bobby shakes
his head disgusted he has to relive it all again and again. "I HEARD
YOU BEGGING HIM TO!" He can't
say it, he can't say the damn words. He's been crazy to think he
could get over this
without so much as a blink.

"You couldn't have?" Lindsay asks her mind reeling with the
implications. Her
face is hot with embarrassment. How could he know? She didn't tell
anyone. Would Ross? No what reason would he have to go into such
detail. She feels her skin crawling with the idea that Bobby was
privy to her lowest moments. And she knows how
excruciatingly painful that exposing information would be to
him. "HOW" she asks
dreading his answer.

"ON THE DAMN TAPES ROSS MADE!" Bobby scowls trying
to hide the pain now is useless! Why has she forced this issue and
why in the hell is she lying through her teeth about it now!

"THE TAPES? He taped me that NIGHT!" Lindsay throat chokes as she
realizes the full implications of his treachery, but just as quickly
she registers yet another betrayal. "You were supposed to burn them
and that damned book!" She points her finger at him accusingly. She's
totally ashamed of her behavior
that fated night, and she can't believe Bobby has witnessed it so
intimately. She
also can't believe he didn't follow her wishes and destroy the
blasphemous evidence
against her. "You promised!" She shakes her head as her entire body
fills with fiery
indignation.

"Yeah, well you promised things too, Lindsay! And they didn't seem
to matter that much to you either!"

"You were supposed to get rid of all of it!" Lindsay shakes her head
in disbelief

"Yeah well I didn't!" Bobby hands exclaim his shock. "I wish to
God I had!"

"How could you listen to the private-"!  Lindsay is angry at the
invasion
and the betrayal. She's mortified he heard her that night. She
remembers
being desperate to find a way to let him go. She'd found it all
right.

"I could and I did! You're my wife. You ran away- Ross told me your
actions
and words didn't add up to him and he said you were hiding something!
Dr. Ash
said so too, everyone could see it! We just didn't know what the hell
it was. Ross
said he heard things you said that didn't make sense. He told me to
listen to the tapes- Funny imagine that, another LOVER who can't
figure you out!" Bobby can't resist turning the screw to his own
heart. Maybe he hadn't evolved as much as he thought.

"You had NO right!" Lindsay blushes when she remembers
how desperately and wantonly she behaved that night. She remembers
his reaction when he found her at Ross's apartment after receiving
her cold, heartless good bye message.
She can still feel the welt he left on her neck when he ripped off
the diamond necklace
he'd given her. His look was vicious, as if she was some threat to
him and his
sanity.  She remembers the stinging ache she felt as he
held the broken chain in his hands looking at her with so much
hateful contempt and she saw his anguish when he opened his fist and
dropped the diamond laden necklace to the floor.

She remembers picking it up after he left and how she fell against
the door
after it slammed shut, shaking with grief and longing. She knew he'd
never
forgive her, she was sure he would walk away forever. But he hadn't.
She'd
been so wrong about the way she handled everything! "How could you?
How
could you listen?" Lindsay can't believe he would want to torture
himself
even more.

"I had the right of husband to know what in the hell was going on
with his wife!
I found out plenty on those tapes- and YOUR own spoken words led me to
the truth!" Bobby informs her in a way that keeps her silent.

"I KNOW THE TRUTH LINDSAY SO DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO COVER
IT UP! And if you think it was easy to listen-" Bobby's disillusioned
eyes bore
into her.

"NO you don't know the whole truth!" Lindsay argues ready to battle
as long as this takes. And judging from Bobby's demeanor it won't
be a quick war. She knows how painful his experience was, and her
heart
hammers guiltily.

"Just admit you SLEPT WITH ROSS! I can't take going over and over
this again and again! "ITS DONE! YOU DID IT! MAYBE I DESERVED
IT- I DON'T KNOW WHY-. YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME-BUT I DON'T
CARE LINDSAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK WITHOUT YOU
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP US THIS TIME! I I
want YOU I want US! How in the HELL many ways and TIMES do I have to
prove it to you enough to stop YOUR LIES!" Bobby shouts. "HE WAS YOUR
LOVER
SO NOW THERE I SAID IT LETS JUST GET PAST IT CAN WE PLEASE!" Bobby
has a sinking feeling that the worst is not over yet. "JUST ADMIT IT!
You don't get
to lie to me ANYMORE!"

"I'll NEVER ADMIT IT AS LONG AS I LIVE Bobby because
I DIDN"T DO IT!" Lindsay snarls back.

"I heard you pleading with him to take you to bed!" Bobby snipes.

"YES YOU HEARD ME MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF- and you
heard us kissing-."

"I heard you taking your clothes off!" Bobby's face scrunches
painfully
  his heart aching from the image his words invoke.

"Yes, I was wet- caught in the storm." she laughs humorlessly because
the night was very much like this one. "I went there because
I'd let you go- and I didn't know what else to do."

"Casual sex is always a good answer!" Bobby's voice is deceptively
low.

"You outta know!" Lindsay snaps back wishing she could control her
anger, but his denial in accepting the real truth she offers him now
is nerve wracking.
He's not taking this well, he won't accept that she deceived him in a
whole
different way than he imagined. And she knows either way, he's going
to feel
equally betrayed.


"You really can't let IT go can you Lindsay?" Bobby says hopelessly.
Maybe
she wasn't lying about the Sara part after all. He knows now first
hand
how much he is asking of her to be totally forgiven. Forgiveness
isn't as
easy as she tried to make it look. He knows that now.

"I have-let go Bobby, believe it!  I know what that was, or what it
wasn't! But you won't LISTEN to me about what it wasn't with Ross!"
She wants to scream in frustration.

"Oh I listened to PLENTY!" The lion is roaring now.

Lindsay wants to stamp her feet and tear out her hair, why in the
hell won't
he hear her!
"WE NEVER HAD SEX! WE NEVER MADE LOVE! I never
expected you to show up the way you did! When you did, it seemed
like another opportunity to enforce that I didn't want to be with you
anymore-.I did it because of Judge Hiller's seat - that's why! It was
the day I left you the message remember-.when you came, Ross wasn't
even there-.he was catching a flight. or at least trying to, I was
alone-I had been alone in his bed. LISTEN TO ME BOBBY!" She isn't
lying he can see it in her eyes. She's saying the words but his mind
can't quite wrap around it.

The possibility that Lindsay is finally now telling the truth
and the implications of what that means makes Bobby a little
lightheaded and nauseous.  He recalls that sordid scene in Ross's
apartment
seeing Lindsay in nothing but a robe. Ross's robe. Combining that
encounter
with the moans and fevered pitched utterances on the tapes- but he'd
never found the next part! There was never another tape to solidify
the ending to that scenario
that had played over and over in his head, he always filled in the
missing part, and
it had been nothing but torture to do so. He remembers the betrayal
he felt at knowing
that she'd barely let hours pass from their last sweet interlude
the night before, to her flying into Ross's waiting arms the next day!

He'd been in HELL since that night. It hurt so damn much! After
everything they'd worked for, all the old wounds they'd reopened and
finally
healed. All of that, followed by the earth shattering renewed passion
found here at Laharve. He'd never expected it- her infidelity came
out of nowhere and it killed him. He'd been trying so hard to
understand and to find a way to let it all go.

For whatever reason, she'd chosen to open those wounds again.
But he was just as determined to keep them shut, to find
forgiveness in his heart and soul. He was
prepared to overlook all of it to have her in his arms again.
And now to find out his torment was all for NOTHING! HE can't
believe she would be so cruel to him. He knows he hurt her before
with Sara, but their marriage was near the rocks then. Not like it
was when they came back from their trip. It was like
being newlyweds again! Life was sweet and beautiful and
filled with promise. They were so close to reconciling and to have
revived the
preciously gained trust between them only to have it wrenched away
without warning or plausible explanation. How could she do something
so cold
lying about what happened, torturing him with narrated and self
inflicted pictures
of her ultimate betrayal. Now suddenly it never happened. To say he
is shocked
is understatement personified.

How in the hell could she have the nerve and heartlessness to
do that to him? This can't be about loving him when she
purposely tore his heart out? How could she ever
convince herself she did it to protect him. She hurt the holy
hell out of him! Why take it so damn far! He feels his emotions
exploding as he realizes she's been even more duplicitous than
he ever imagined.

"Are you hearing me Bobby?" Lindsay asks quietly biting
her lip hard as she sees the myriad of pained expressions crossing
his face and shining in his deceived eyes. "I'm telling you the truth
now, this is THE TRUTH!" Lindsay admits again to reinforce her words.

"You lied about ALL OF IT! You never loved Ross? You were never
going to be married?" He turns on her as though he's never seen her
before his eyes are moist with unshed tears. "How could you do that
to me?"

"It seemed like the right thing- you would never have given up
on us- I mean-. if you thought-. I didn't want to hurt you Bobby
you have to believe- I did it all out of LOVE!" Lindsay insists trying
to touch his arms as she gets closer to him but he snaps it out of
her reach.

"LOVE! You call what you did to me LOVE! Have you lost your mind!"
Bobby lashes out the way he always has, because this revelation has
him
reeling. All rational thought has left him as he digests the degree of
betrayal she's reached to SPARE HIM! What a joke! He shakes his
head at her mouthing no, his mind is spinning out of control and his
body is trembling
with overwrought emotions.

Lindsay stands there feeling his sudden abandonment keenly ironically
her lips are still moist from his kisses her skin's still tingling
from his passionate ministries. Her eyes are cloudy and tearfully
emulate the sky outside. The worst of the storm is over, but the
damage is done and there may be some things left in its wake that are
irreparable. Lindsay holds her silence hoping he just needs some
time.

"What is it Lindsay? Is this about Sara? Did you decide Quid pro
quo?" Bobby laughs
derisively.

Lindsay shakes her head. "No! NEVER!  Bobby I didn't plan it- it just
happened-"

"Ok I'm confused now Lindsay! What happened or didn't happen? Are you
sure
you even know!" Bobby's voice is contemptuous.

"YES! I KNOW! I DID NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH ROSS!"

"Oh God! You don't want to be under oath when you say that!" Bobby
informs
her scathingly.

"I'll swear it on a stack of bibles!" Lindsay promises.

"Oh really is that so, perjury is punishable by imprisonment
Lindsay."

"I-" Lindsay faces the facts he's right, she's had a fair amount of
intimacy with
good old Ross, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't so now.

He takes full advantage of her guilt to grill her more.
"And what do you call the kisses I heard and saw, I supposed
you'll say they were innocent too!" Bobby asks becoming the
tyrannical
prosecution.

"That is NOT the same as sleeping with him!" Lindsay hears the
weakness in her
own defense.

"But you admit you nearly slept with him MORE than once?" Bobby
pounds his
point.

"I-don't know- I mean we kissed you know that already! And ONE night
we came close-a LONG time before you and I were about to reconcile."
Lindsay rushes
her explanation hoping he will see reason.

"You don't call that cheating we're still married?" Bobby
snarls. "Funny when I did it and our marriage was nearly on the rocks
YOU called it cheating- we reconcile and you decide to do it or let
ME think you DID it, with him and you do share kisses and nudity with
another man-just when we were ready to renew our vows! So tell me
which is it Lindsay? Was it cheating or not!" His tone is iron.

She swallows hard. "I was the ONLY one naked! She flushes as she
realizes
how utterly incriminating her explanation is.

He laughs scathingly choking back the tears threatening to burst out
of his soul.

"NOTHING like what you think happened, HAPPENED!" Lindsay's voice is
raw and
emotionally wrought.

"SO YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Bobby glares at her condemningly.

  "We kissed-we nearly-because I was out of my mind about you!" She
looks squarely
into his eyes and then as quickly cast them downwards. She wants to
take that look
from his face, she'd rather die than cause him this much humiliation
and pain. She knows she's the one who brought this on. She knows he
has to have his say before he'll ever
even try to see past her transgressions. "Okay Bobby, you're right,
what I did wasn't-"

Bobby's vision has become myopic and he isn't about to excuse her
behavior.
"So you didn't have the actual sex- but you let me BELIEVE you did for
how long now?" Bobby asks ready to throw her in a dungeon and
misplace the key forever.

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay begs him to forgive with sincerity and
repentance in her eyes.

"You're sorry!" Wow! Thanks!" Bobby feels like vomiting. When he
thinks of
all the times he agonized in his mind battling the sordid thoughts
and images of her and Ross. Maybe on some level he deserved the irony
of this, but right now, he isn't accepting or taking her deception
well.  "How dare you!" His disgusted eyes look her up and down as
though she isn't worth his gaze.

Lindsay feels her body flushing in degradation and self hatred. She
remains silent
as she faces the error of her judgment. She never should have taken
it so far.
She can see his heart splitting in two over this. How could she have
ever thought
it was alright to hurt him so barbarically.

"Bobby, you have to know-" Lindsay approaches him the quaking of her
heart won't be stilled until he forgives her, he has to forgive her!

He backs away from her cornering himself against a wall. His hands
reach out behind
him to touch the wall, he is trying valiantly to steady his frazzled
nerves.

Lindsay is afraid to go to close she can feel his desire to get out
of being
anywhere near her. She has to get through to him before its too late.
"I LOVE YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU- I'LL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU- THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE- NO MATTER WHAT YOU
THINK- IN MY HEART THERE'S ONLY YOU."
Lindsay's voice shakes the sobbing tears beg him to soften just a
little.

"I can't hear this! I have to get out of here!" Bobby searches in
vain for his keys because
they were discarded in the wet heap of clothing upstairs. I have to
get the HELL out!"
He roars wishing to God he was anywhere but here.

Lindsay suddenly gets a burst of courage. She can't let him go. NOT
like this.
He might never come back. With the bravery comes a healthy dash of
anger. What the
hell is wrong with him! Okay so she lied- she was wrong. She had gone
off
the deep end and yes she couldn't disagree she had crossed some lines
with Ross. But she hadn't had the full blown affair he was so sure
she'd had, and that
has to get through his thick skull!  "YOU KNOW WHAT Bobby I think
I'll leave!" Lindsay voice is deeply penetrating.

He turns back to face her. "FINE!" "It's what you do best!" He steps
away from the door offering her easy departure.

Lindsay didn't expect him to agree so easily.

Bobby can see the hesitation and he realizes she's in no condition to
go out side the way she's dressed. She's making empty threats. MORE
lies. He
can't take MORE lying. So it's up to him to expose them all!
"Where the hell do you think your going to go in this storm?"

Lindsay eyes flash she isn't about to let him wallow in pain, she's
got
to find a way to get him to the other side of it. After everything
they've
gone through, and all the beautiful possibilities before them she
isn't
about to let him throw it all away now. She pushes an annoying lock
of damp hair behind her ear.

"I don't know maybe what I should do is drive all the way BACK to
Boston so I can
find Ross and sleep with him! Isn't that what YOU want! I mean
before, just a few minutes ago you were ready and willing for that to
be the truth! As long as YOU found it okay in your self-righteous
heart to forgive me- I was in your good graces- but NOW since I
haven't had sex with him-your thinking I betrayed you more! Why
prolong the agony for us both! So what do you say Bobby? Once I have
sex with him, you'll be right- again and you can be the forgiving
husband? Would that make it okay?" Her voice
holds that steely assurance she uses in trial. She feels NONE of the
confidence
she's displaying but she doesn't know what else to do. She could lose
him forever
over this!

Lindsay knows she isn't being quite fair, but what about anything has
been
fair? She knows Bobby is hurt, she knows he has a right to feel the
way he feels.
But she can't afford to give him too much time to screw things up
worse between
them because if she does they may never make it back to each other,
and she wants
that so much. She won't ever treat him so callously again! She
silently vows she will make all of this up to him. He just has to
give her the chance. "I'll just go have
that little fling with Ross, that way you can have the adulterous
wife you
seem to need so badly!"

"DON'T BE RIDCULOUS!" Bobby shakes his head knowing that if Lindsay
is pushed far enough she would probably do it just to prove what an
idiot she
thinks he is. "You don't get to say that! Don't try to turn this
around ON ME!
I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE MANIPLIATED OUR LIVES INTO THIS
GIGANTIC MESS! AND BELIEVE ME LINDSAY NONE OF THIS IS
OKAY!"

"Oh come ON Bobby you wanted to be the sanctimonious husband that
took pity on his poor cheating wife? It's kind of fun to have the shoe
ON your foot for a change especially after Sara now isn't it?"
Lindsay knows this
could be the ultimate end to end all marriages. She knows he is going
to
get even angrier than he was before. "I'm sure if I call Ross he'd
be only too willing to help YOU out!"

"STOP IT!" Bobby gives into the childish desire and puts his hands
tightly over both ears. At least he's no longer standing by the door
as his defeated body collapses on the stairs.

"Oh why it's the TRUTH isn't it? What is it going to be Bobby! Are
you disappointed I didn't really sleep with him at all! Because NOW
were not even! And your
still the ONE who cheated! Will you ONLY be happy if I cheat ALL THE
WAY too!"
Lindsay taunts him knowing she is pushing his every nerve.

"You know what you did was unconscionable?"  The last thing
Bobby wants is her to go anywhere near Ross Avery or Avery Ross
or whoever the HELL he is!

"I made some big mistakes…. but YOU knew I'd kissed Ross! You
knew everything up front, NOTHING was done behind YOUR back! Nothing
happened that YOU didn't know about- EXCEPT that I DIDN'T ever
sleep with HIM and WOULD NEVER have slept with HIM! I LOVE YOU
YOU! AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! YOU'RE HERE Bobby
even when you were SURE I'd been unfaithful. YOU came here. YOU
always know when I need YOU! And-and in spite of everything I've done
and said and led you to believe your still here- you came after me-
no matter how bad you thought it was- you were ready to forgive me-.
for everything! Bobby! She stops the tirade because she's exhausted
her
emotions have been in such an upheaval lately she's ready for it all
to be over, whatever over ends up being. All she can do is ask
for forgiveness, she's made her point, he should be seeing it more
clearly now, and if he doesn't, he  doesn't. "You were ready
and willing to give me another chance, Bobby, you haven't let
anything I've done, or you thought I've done, stop you from being
here, so why are you now? I didn't know I'd ever tell you the truth.
I thought I was letting us go forever. "I thought I was doing
something
good, for you, something that would free you to be-"

Bobby's hand swipes the air denying she'd done him any good.

"Okay I know, I didn't succeed in my misguided intentions and I'm so
sorry,
you have to know that, hurting you was never something I wanted to do
again! PLEASE forgive me now-. Please-. I could NEVER have- I did go
beyond- I know was unfaithful in some-"

"YA THINK!" Bobby's ready to explode. Why doesn't she just shut
the hell up nothing she's saying will ever take away the worst
weeks of his life! HELL wasn't even as bad a place as he felt
he's come from. He jumps up off the step and heads to the door. But
as usual he can't do more than touch the damn knob. He turns around
his eyes gleam skeptically.

Lindsay, talks faster knowing she has to get him to come to his
senses somehow.
"I know it was horrible that I let you think-it was bad enough- But I
had no idea you'd ever hear those tapes! That isn't MY fault! I HATE
that you heard them!-I should have never let you believe it, but
Bobby that's the worst I could do, fool you into believing
it because I couldn't REALLY do it- ever-.EVER!" Lindsay eyes plead
again for him to think about this clearly. He remains stubbornly
quiet with his arms firmly folded on his chest.

"I didn't LOVE Ross- I NEVER would have gone through with a marriage
to him. I never intended to do anything but LOVE you for the rest of
my life!
When we left here, last time- and we had decided to renew our vows.
I meant every word I swear! But then everything went crazy! I just- I
got off track a little."

"A LITTLE Lindsay!" Bobby's eyebrows rise in sarcastic agreement.

"Okay I was WAY-WAY OUT OF LINE!" She admits it desperate to
get him to see that what he went through is OVER.
You're right it's what I do. What I've always done!
I think I'm still scared to fail! But Bobby I am MORE scared of
losing you forever,
than facing whatever the future holds. As LONG as I have YOU with me
I promise I won't ever deceive you or run away from you again!"

Bobby looks away from her focusing on nothing but preferring it
than to having to meet her traitorous eyes. Haven't they both
suffered enough? But how
can he forgive her lies about something so sacredly held between
them. And at time when he thought they had conquered every doubt,
every barrier. She lied and he'd suffered deeply. "I'm not sure I can
even look at you right now- Lindsay…" Bobby swallows the burgeoning
lump in his throat. He buries his head in his hands.

"I'm here Bobby." Lindsay teary voice is not even persuasion
enough. "I'm going
to be here until you do look at me, and see that what I'm telling you
now is the
truth. "I'm standing right here Bobby." She reminds him of words they
have
spoken before in uncertain and painful times. She knows they will hit
home.

He raises his head morosely. He closes his eyes on those familiar
haunting words.
"I must have failed horribly at making you feel loved enough." Bobby
turns it on himself.
He has to find a way to take the blame here, because if this is all
Lindsay's fault
if she really did this, how can he live with it? "Somehow I let you
down and you
didn't feel secure." Bobby can't believe it but it must be true.

"NO!"  That's NOT true, YOU know you were absolutely wonderful- it
was me! I really thought I was doing it, ALL OF IT to protect you,
I'd do anything
for you Bobby, even something this unimaginable. "I felt adored by you
again, and I knew how much loved me we'd fallen in love again. You
showed me so beautifully. I really thought it was the only way to let
you go, and for you to want to go."

Bobby remembers how she admitted she didn't feel adored when the
marriage was on the verge of crumbling. He'd let her say it, he didn't
assure her she was. But she'd always been adored by him.

"I just don't understand how you thought ripping my heart out, was
going
to HELP me, WHY don't you want to protect my HEART more than you want
to protect my career?" Bobby's voice is soft filled with conflicting
feelings.
"You're supposed to be the one I can entrust it too, I just can't
believe
you didn't know what this would do to me? How could you NOT know!
God Lindsay! I wanted to crawl into dark hole and never come out
again." A few tears fall in spite of his effort to stifle them. He
relives the recent weeks of turmoil and tortuous uncertainty. He
turns his back on her because he can't reconcile her actions with her
assurances of love.

Lindsay hates to see him so broken. She thought that if she ever had
a chance
to tell him the whole truth someday, that he would forgive her more
easily than if she had been totally unfaithful She has been so
wrapped up in keeping up the subterfuge that she didn't take the time
to focus on ALL the ramifications of her actions. She steps up
to his broad shouldered back tentatively touching it with both hands.
The
feel of her fingers thorough his shirt, touching him so intimately
causes a
damn to burst inside of him. He shoulders shake with the force of the
rampant release. Slowly Lindsay circles him until she is standing in
front of him.
Silently she opens her arms and even while his head is shaking in
denial
he finds his own arms pulling her to him. They both cry out all the
craziness, pain, frustration and deep seated fears they've held inside
for far too long.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me." Lindsay muffled words
calm
him, hearing her voice always did that. Even if he was angry and upset
with her, he found solace in her softly spoken intonations. "I really
wish
I could take it all back-but I can't!" Lindsay's filled with remorse
and regret.
What had she been thinking? He might never trust her again. She sees
the irony
now in her misguided intentions. "I've been a certifiable idiot!" She
whispers
softly into his ear. His tears have abated and he pushes her back
from his body, staring
at her absently, lost in a little war waging in his head while a more
fearsome mêlée is occurring within his heart. How can what she did be
forgiven? How can it not. He has to let this go somehow, shouldn't he
be thrilled. She hadn't slept with Ross. He'd hated
even thinking it, now he doesn't have to anymore. It's true he should
be on cloud nine.
Why can't he just let it go and accept her obviously heart felt
sorrow. "I don't know."
He utters his uncertainty out loud. Bobby doesn't know what to say
next, he knows they are wavering precariously over one last cliff.

Lindsay hands go up in despair. What will it take for him to see how
repentant she is?

Bobby sees her aggravation he knows those feelings well. He'd felt
helpless
and misunderstood enough times by her to recognize her expression
easily.

"What can I do Bobby?" Lindsay eyes plead for some kind of
absolution.

"You can be completely honest for the first time in weeks. "He laughs
sarcastically.
"Of course how can I really know what is the TRUTH when you speak?"

"I WILL tell you ANYTHING you want to know, and it will BE truthful!
I won't
EVER lie to you again about ANYTHING!" She holds her hand up as if
she is about
to testify in a court of law. The only thing missing is the bible.

Bobby wants direct contact with her eyes. He will know the truth, the
idea of it
has been eating away at him, he has to know this once and for all,
before anything will ever seem right between them again.

"I want to know about YOUR feeling towards Ross! I KNOW you had to
have felt
something-" his hand passes over his eyes because he doesn't really
want to know the truth about this but he has to face it and so does
she!

"Bobby-" Lindsay is a deer caught in headlights, if she faces his
question head
on she will be hit between the eyes. And if she runs-well that's not
an option because
she has no where to go.

"I KNOW you NEVER would have told him everything you did, without some
kind of deep connection. You would NEVER have turned to him even in
desperation-"
Bobby apparently loves to torture himself because he's going straight
for the juggler
vein on this one. "You had to have feelings Lindsay, I know you-you
don't let
people in so easily."

Lindsay eyes tear up, she knows he's right. She felt something. What
does she
say to him now? Whatever she says is going to be damning. She chooses
her words carefully knowing her answer will make or break her future.

"Never MIND Lindsay, your silence is answer enough!" Bobby shakes his
head unable to stand there waiting. He's waited LONG enough for her.

"NO! She grabs for his shirt sleeve just as he begins to turn away.
"YOU'RE NOT going anywhere! You want an answer, and I intend
to give you ONE!"

"I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE TRUTH!" Bobby's strangled tone tells her
she's got
limited time.

"I've told you Bobby, I met Ross by accident, I wasn't looking-I was
still in denial about us-he came into my life-he listened-he was sweet
and kind-and I felt-appreciated-and understood by him. I guess
I soaked it up-because I never thought I'd feel that way with anyone
ever again. So yes, the feelings I had about him were real."

Bobby's eyes close as she speaks.

"But HE didn't turn out to be real at all!" She explains quickly
hoping he will have the fortitude to stick with her till she's done
speaking.

His open accusingly. "That doesn't change how YOU feel Lindsay
trust me I know that!"

"Yes, there were times I wanted to fall madly in LOVE with Ross!"
Lindsay admission nearly sends Bobby running. "But I couldn't!
WHY? Because I still LOVED you!" She paces in a circle now, similar
to the one
she felt she was in her whole life, repeating those insipid patterns
over and over
because she'd never quite gotten it right. "I never stopped! NOT NOW,
NOT
THEN! NEVER! What I felt for Ross was some kind of connection, I won't
deny it, I feel connections to a LOT of people Bobby, Helen, Lucy,
Ellenor,
Bec, Jimmy, Eugene- and it was love, like I have for any one of them,
a form
of love, he was good to me when I needed someone who didn't know me,
everyone
here knew me before all the stuff we went through- but Ross accepted
me as I am now, not expecting who I used to be. It was just easier
being with him, it was nice being valued in spite of everything-. And
I had no idea he would betray us the way
he did." Lindsay eyes implore him to hear this once and for all. "I
guess
with the trust we had so damaged, I needed someone I could trust, I
needed him
to talk to, because I'd missed what we had so much."

Bobby feels the iceberg melting inside, at least she's not
excusing the physical intimacy with Ross, and he knows she
is trying hard to come to terms with what exactly Ross did mean to
her.

"You were right Bobby; a lot about what I did was running away.
I do it ALL the time. I've been doing it since the day I met you,
because I've been so afraid, I'd lose you, it feels like hell to KEEP
losing you over and over again!" Lindsay cries soulfully expressing
the loneliness in her eyes.

"Tell me about it!" Bobby agrees sighing deeply. He can't hate her,
he understands her so well. He sees a reflection of himself in her, he
always has. They both have so many fears about opening their hearts,
they've overcome so much but there is still a lot they haven't
touched.
He knows the ONLY way they will ever conquer this is to stay together
and prove themselves wrong. They can survive ANYTHING! They have
been unified in so many battles. She's his partner. She will be
forever
no matter what. Is he really so full of pride and anger that he'd pass
on a relationship with her, his life, his love, his soul's perfect
mate? There
never been any answer but the one happening now as he reaches
for her offering her his hand, his heart his soul.

She takes it, squeezing it tentatively smiling uncertainly through
the tears.

"You don't love him, like-"Bobby head shakes slightly he had to be
sure.

"NO!" Lindsay shakes her head vigorously.
"Bobby I chose you too! You knocked me off my feet, and
sprayed me with coffee. You let me think you were someone else, you
disappeared and I thought I might never see you again, but when I
walked into that office I was wishing it would be you. And it was
you. It's always been you. I've never looked back, or even forward,
really without YOU. You're the reason I grew
into that woman you spoke of earlier. You loving me- I'd never loved
anyone, the way I love you. Bobby" she struggles with tears
threatening to muffle her words. "I was
so afraid I'd never feel-you know! You made me feel beautiful and
alive
and gave me so much more than I ever dreamed."

Bobby immunity is weakening, hearing Lindsay recalling the first
moments
of their shared capitulation begins to diminish his anger.
"All I ever wanted was to make you happy." Bobby whispers.

"YOU DID! No one else ever could the way you do! "Lindsay wants so
much to
be held by him, but she feels the tenseness of his hand in hers. "You
don't know how
it felt- she gulps a little feeling the ache return to her chest. She
touches her
heart with her free hand. "I-I- couldn't breathe thinking-" she gasps
a little
for the elusive breath just thinking about it. "Bobby thinking I'd
never be"
her voice breaks as tears flow freely. "your wife, I'd never feel
your arms
holding me-"Lindsay can barely utter the words.

Bobby can't bare to see her in anguish. He's seen it too much. He
knows
her heart, he can feel it as he holds her trembling hand. He gently
takes
the hand she holds against her heart into his. He gives her a minute
to
calm herself, His thumbs stroke the top of her hands. She raises her
watery eyes to his begging for amnesty.


"You promise me HERE and Now that you've stopped this crazy
idea in your head that you have to run ever again!" Bobby voice
is soft but stern.

He clasps her hand a little tighter as he waits for her answer.

"I'll never run again, as long as I don't ever lose you." Lindsay
pledges as he pulls her tenderly towards him wrapping her
protectively in his arms. Tears of relief are falling unabashedly

"I'm still quite angry with you!" He informs her softly as his
fingers erase the cleansing tears.

"I know-" She smiles fondly as she lets out a tiny left-over hiccup.

He wishes he could hold her like this forever and shut out the entire
world for eternity. But he's not quite ready to do that yet.

"Lindsay Dole if YOU EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!"

Her smile is full fledged now she knows he's started the forgiveness
process.
"I WON'T!" she vows.

"NO RUNNING! NO LYING!" Bobby is like an adamant father who
has been kept awake waiting all night for his naughty kid to come home
from God knows where. She has to know the rules! "NO MORE FEAR! If
either of us is afraid we talk, to one another or to Dr. Ash, it
doesn't matter as long as WE TALK!"

She nods agreeing as her eyes dance in happy anticipation.

"I'm still MAD!" He reinforces the point because he knows it's
useless for
him to try to stay angry at her for any substantial length of time,
and damn
it she's always known that! Whatever resistance he felt before is
melting away.

"Bobby, I'll make this up-"

"ABOUT YOU!" Bobby interrupts finally giving them both what they
so desperately want. She feels his absolution as his lips part hers
greedily.
Soft moans followed by long sated sighs fill the silence. Slowly they
move towards complete capitulation as desires ignite and all thought
of distancing perishes. "I want you now, Lindsay I can't-"Bobby's
whispers
ardently.

"Love me." Lindsay answers breathlessly.

He pulls her up against him her arms embrace him to her
tightly he lifts her feet off the floor her legs enwrap
around his thighs as he carries and kisses her lowering her to the
soft pillowed
space in front of the fireplace.

The flames of fire dance casting shadows of the two reunited lovers
discarding the last
barriers between them, clothing flies landing in puddles around the
room. As they kneel together joyously embracing at last all
misunderstandings melting into happy surrendering ecstasy. Waves of
pleasure crash over them euphoric tides of reverberating bliss fill
them up brimming them over in bubbling frothy delight. Palms meet
fingers intertwined squeezing, clenching holding fast as they ascend
to the stars and back again. They lay bathed in the golden fire lit
glow reveling as finally they become one, one heart one mind, one
body and one soul, harmonizing in euphoric universal song.

"Bobby" Lindsay sighs in happy resignation.

"Lindsay" He breathes her name as if it's his life's sustenance.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A few hours later, Lindsay feels her body being gently covered with a
soft
knitted blanket, she feels his arms lift her, as she drowsily awakens
looking
up into his contented eyes. "Where are we going?" Her arms greedily
encircle
his neck.

"Forward, Lindsay we're only going forward." Bobby assures her.

She smiles sighing thoroughly sated.

He ascends the steps stopping every two to kiss her a little more
fervently with
each detainment. Lindsay is giggling softly because she loves being
treasured
in his arms.

Finally they reach his intended goal, their bedroom, and the freshly
lit fire
is glowing invitingly the bed covers are turned back beckoning to be
enjoyed.

Lindsay grins as she sees the advanced preparation.

"I'm getting a little too old to spend the entire night on that
floor!" Bobby admits
grimacing to get some sympathy, as he lays her gently into the downy
mattress.

"Ah so I strained a few of those muscles did I."

"Oh I think there's a bit of stamina left in here, you want to test
me- to make sure?" He whispers in happy anticipation.

"I think I really should do a through examination" She kisses his neck
wanting to start the procedure immediately. "Bobby be careful, I
almost
forgot the broken glass." she reminds him still a bit groggy.

"I took care of it my love, but to be on the safe side I'll keep
your feet off the floor all morning!" He promises.

"Ah-you know just what I need." She kisses his nose lovingly, as he
settles
down into the soft pillowed mattress swooping her immediately into
his arms.

"Lindsay, something's been on my mind and I gotta know before
we-" Lindsay is beginning her hands on scrutiny of his body, kissing
each possibly afflicted area. He sighs deeply nearly forgetting
he has a mind let alone anything in it.

"mmmmm nice." He drawls quietly hoping she ignores his earlier
request to talk.

She stops though leaving his ailing exposed skin feeling woefully
abandoned.

"What is it Bobby, are you still having doubts-"Her eyes penetrate his
afraid the worst may not be over after all.

"NO LINDS NO! Bobby has none left, "-its silly, you said it wasn't
important, and I should-"

"What?" She is trying to think of something she's said that would
leave him in question,
but she's clueless, and her hands would like very much to return his
skin.

"I just was wondering what in the hell had you all the way outside
the house
on top of the roof? You said you'd lost something?"

Lindsay's hand abruptly goes up to her head in instant abject recall.

"Oh Bobby, it's-I- if we can't find-" She is wide awake now
remembering
she never told him what happened.

"What is it Lindsay? It's not the cork to the wine bottle?" He
remembers
his dismissive thoughts and he can see this whatever it is, has more
significant
than a cork.  "What did you lose baby, whatever it is
we'll get it back, don't worry!" His arms extend to get her back to
the
comfort of his body.

"Oh Bobby, it was- my rings!" She takes the empty chain from
around her neck, she'd replaced it there after the rings were long
gone, preferring not to lose anymore precious jewelry.

"Your rings?" Bobby's eyes crinkle in question.

"I wore them on this" She dangles the chain for him to see. "When
I came here today, I wanted to put them on, I thought it would be the
I-I just wanted to see them on my finger again-I thought it was
the last time." She feels awful having to admit she lost them. Bobby
had
chosen and bought the engagement diamond ring long before he ever
proposed, and when he did she loved it, knowing how he had held onto
it through so many doubtful
twists and turns. Now for it to be lost, she seldom got attached to
material
possessions but this, was one she wanted with her forever. This held
so many sentiments and feelings.

"You've been wearing them since-?"
Bobby realizes now that she hadn't ever let go of him, if she kept
those rings that close to her heart, and then it meant that's where
she kept him too.

She nods miserably. "After I'd left you the message- except when you
were around, I made sure-if you'd seen-you'd of known-"Lindsay
sheepishly admits. "I'm sorry Bobby I lost them and with this storm-
they could have blown anywhere!"

"Ah Lindsay don't cry, sweet one, we'll find them, and if we don't,
I'll
get you new ones-" He holds her tenderly against him.

"I don't want new ones, I love my rings! You bought the diamond and
even
when we were so far apart, you kept it and I wanted to keep it
forever.

"I know it's okay sweetie."

"And my wedding band, we chose those together- we were married
without them remember? In my rush to change the wedding I forgot they
were at the jewelers being sized, and you had Jimmy call and run down
to the store, his uncle was so sweet to open up for us-and Jimmy
brought them just in time, so we could take them with us, remember?"

Of course he did, there wasn't one spectacular moment forgotten.
He recalls the wonderful feeling as he slipped the sparkling platinum
band
on her ring finger, making her forever his. They'd only had a short
weekend
here at Laharve after the ceremony, and so it was here, fittingly that
Bobby and Lindsay exchanged the matching platinum bands. They'd
done it in the most sacred haven by the waterfall, the magnificent
place
was the perfect setting  to remarry one another in an even smaller
impromptu
ceremony. Bobby had phoned Claire and as usual she came through with
and rice and a perfectly stocked cottage, complete with candlelight
champagne and flowers. And of course a slight scolding too, for
daring to
be married without her and Sam at the ceremony."

"I'll never forget how it felt to have you slip that ring on my
finger, it felt
as though you let me into your heart, that moment." Lindsay confides.

"I let you in, long before that Lindsay, but I know what you mean,
marriage
is sacred, it connected us irrevocably."

They kiss to seal the sentiment.

She nods sadly rubbing her thumb over her barren ring finger.

"They're just rings Lindsay." Bobby tries to reassure her, but he
knows they
mean more than that.

Lindsay touches Bobby's left hand as if she's viewing a priceless
painting.
"You never took it off?" She marvels that through all the tribulation,
and doubts, even immediately after they separated, Bobby still wore
the ring.

Bobby shakes his head smiling awkwardly. "I guess it's more than a
ring."
He admits as he squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Lindsay we'll get
yours back." His fingers go under her bowed chin raising her face to
meet his eyes. "You'll have them back!" He reiterates softly.

"I won't take them off, ever again!" Lindsay promises. They kiss
languishing in the
reawakened pleasure of being free to express affection. Bobby strokes
her hair
deciding this is as good a time too get an answer to another
pestering question.

"Lindsay, that brings something else to mind. Are we-" Bobby's almost
afraid to ask.

Lindsay is happily returning to all her wifely duties including mind-
reading. "NO! I never
filed the papers, I never even signed them when you gave them to me!"

"So we're still-" Bobby impish pleased grin.

"Legal in all states." She assures him equally thrilled.

"Ah-good, then when we took those vows-"

"It was forever." Lindsay fills in his thoughts.

"Forever" he echoes contentedly.

"Loving you is the best thing I ever did Lindsay Dole." Bobby is
scooting
down into the covers bringing her with him.

"You haven't done it yet!" She teases him. "My exam was rudely
interrupted remember?"

"Oh is that so, well please continue, by all means." Bobby urges,
rocking
a little on his elbow, lying sideways towards facing her unwittingly
making himself
all too available.

"Ohhhhhh maybe I don't want to anymore!" She grins. "I think I'd
rather play CRY UNCLE!" She surprises Bobby by pushing him over
on to his back and straddling him by kneeling over him. She is
holding his very sensitive fingers in her hand threateningly as he
looks up in wide-eyed but complacent indulgence.

"Are you ready to beg for mercy?" She taunts Cheshire cat smile in
full bloom.
"Come on don't you want to look me over." Bobby's entreaty goes on
deaf
ears, because Lindsay is more than looking him over holding the
crooked finger as her
hostage she bends over his invitingly languid body and begins to
administer
her best revenge. "This is for keeping me waiting on that roof in the
rain!"
She whispers kissing his neck and then his ears, moving saucily along
his jaw line
until she reaches his mouth and his alluring, tempting, and engaging
lips.
She exacts her most deliriously demanding form of punishment. Bobby
sighs contentedly allowing her to whip him into shape. "I'll never
keep you waiting on a roof again" he promises as he turns the tables
on her flipping her over onto her back, their legs entangle and latch
together mutual laughter shakes the bedding. Slowly the laughter
fades away
becoming soft murmured whispers, and happy ecstatic rapturous
declarations
of devotion.

The two happily married halves rejoin melodiously and sacredly as
one.
All the darkness fades away, the ominous clouds depart making way for
the full silvery moon and insuring the sweetest of future dreams. The
deep clear midnight skies unveil twinkling magical stars just waiting
to grant reconciled lovers their fondest wishes and most prayed for
desires. As night fades into morning, the sun rises majestically
casting a hazy orange-pink glow over the two euphorically sleeping
lovers who will shortly be awakened to a glorious new dawn.

End of Part 29

This will pick up where it leaves off and then there will be Epilogue
type
of ending I hope you enjoy it! Sorry this got long but as usual
I thought it would lose some punch if I broke it up in the middle
of their confrontations. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear
what you think, good or bad.

ENCORE With a TOUCH OF SOUL Part 29 FINALE PART 2

Disclaimer: You know what it means.

Ok and I gave up using ¡K etceteras marks because the message board
puts all kinds of other symbols, so there are dashes in between where
etceteras marks would be in the dialogue I hope that works! Anyway
its long and hopefully again worth your wait!

Thanks for letting me know you are still enjoying this by some
miracle after
all this time! ļ I appreciate all the sweet support!
&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby is speeding he knows it, but he doesn¡¦t give a damn. He is
about half way
there. His mind is conflicted and racing, his heart is palpitating
with the excitement and
and anticipation of finding her at last! What in the hell was she
thinking!
He goes between euphoric happiness and irritated annoyance. HOW DARE
she unilaterally decided what was best for him again! DAMN! Why
in the HELL would she put him through this for a STUPID JOB!

What happened to open, honest communication? Okay, so he wasn¡¦t
open and honest about the judge¡¦s committee. But he had his reasons!
A little reasonable voice inside his head (he has finally taken to
listening
to lately) reminds him she had hers too. He smiles as he
remembers again sharing his dreams with her. His emotions are
are like a seesaw. One minute he is overcome with elation and the next
he can¡¦t believe she¡¦d run away from him again. He becomes
furious with her for having done all this to protect him. He didn¡¦t
need
protecting! He needed her! She¡¦s all he¡¦s ever needed.

At least he knows she is still there he called Claire as soon as he
started out.
No sense in behaving foolishly and not double-checking his instincts,
unlike
a bunch of his so-called-friends back in Boston. But he knows they
only
had his welfare at heart so some day after he has harassed them
mercilessly about their mistake, especially HELEN, he will forgive
them
and even thank them.

He smiles broadly, as he thinks about his conversation with Claire.
He knows
she is as loyal as Sam but much more likely to spill the truth because
she has that innate sense of when it¡¦s okay to dishonor your word
that Sam
does not. He was glad Claire is the one who answered his call. The
last
thing he wanted was another ¡¥chicken analogy¡¦ from Sam. He laughs
aloud
as he recalls the exchange word for word.

¡¥Claire it¡¦s Bobby.¡¦

¡¥Yeah I¡¦m fine, listen I need you to answer a question. I need a
straight answer
and I need it NOW!¡¦

¡¥Sure Bobby what is it?¡¦ Claire¡¦s voice had sounded hopeful.

¡¥DO YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER HAD OR RAISED ANY CHICKENS, HENS,
or ROOSTERS?¡¦ Bobby asked it doing his best not to sound like a
lawyer but failed miserably.

Claire¡¦s triumphant laughter is still ringing in his ears.

¡¥TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!¡¦ She had exclaimed.

¡¥Yeah well, YOUR husband is one strange man!¡¨

¡¥I know strange and wonderful, as is your wife.¡¦ She had teased
apparently feeling free to
drop a few more hints.

¡¥Tell me is the hen hanging out with the chick at your place?¡¦ Bobby
asked
deciding its kind of fun to sound crazy sometimes. He¡¦d never admit
that to Sam.

¡¥Well no, the chick is with me the Hen chose another Hen House for
the night
but I think she definitely plans to flee the coop tomorrow morning.¡¦

¡¥Well I think she¡¦ll be changing that flight plan if her ROOSTER has
anything
to say about it!¡¦ Bobby had happily informed Claire.

¡¥Bobby, you¡¦re going to tease Sam forever about this aren¡¦t you?¡¦

¡§Ohhhhhhh Yeah! And a day!¡¦ Bobby admitted coming up with all kinds
of torture for
Claire¡¦s poor unsuspecting husband.

¡¥Good he deserves it! I¡¦ve never heard such a lame analogy in all my
life.¡¦ Claire
laughed along with Bobby. It felt so good to feel free to laugh again
about anything.

¡¥Bobby do you want us to let her know you¡¦re on your way?¡¨ Claire
offered.

¡¥OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You leave this to me!¡¦ Bobby
ordered relishing the thrill of surprise. Yes, this is one time
Lindsay Dole
needed to be taught a lesson about giving him up, for some greater
purpose.
The first time she¡¦d done it was so Helen could have him, like he ever
really wanted her! And now she¡¦s doing it all over again to make sure
he gets
a seat on the bench! Only God knows what she¡¦d relinquish him for
next! No way is this going to happen ever again! He intended on
getting this through her thick skull once and for all!

¡¥Bobby go easy on her, whatever has happened I know that hen is just
as in love with you as she¡¦s always been.¡¦ Claire said it so assuredly
that it brought a contented smile to Bobby¡¦s face. He can hardly wait
to get there.

¡¥I love her too, just as much as- I need to tell her.¡¦ Bobby frowned
because
somehow he had failed to make her believe it once again.

¡¥I¡¦m so happy this is the way it¡¦s supposed to be!¡¦ Claire sounded a
little teary.

¡¥Claire, from your mouth to God¡¦s ear!¡¦ Bobby had agreed.

¡¥Oh and Bobby the weather forecast isn¡¦t good so drive carefully
there¡¦s rain and thunderstorms predicted. By the way, I knew you¡¦d
come.¡¦
Claire had said letting him know her intuition was healthy as ever.

¡¥Somehow that doesn¡¦t surprise me!¡¦ Bobby had experienced many
of Claire¡¦s moments of clairvoyance he knew better than to challenge
anything she said. ¡¥I¡¦ll see you soon Claire, but first I¡¦m going to
find my wife. Bobby Jr. is doing okay?¡¦ He asked suddenly longing to
hug his boy.

¡¥He¡¦ll being doing great once his thick-headed parents reunite!¡¦
Claire
had never been one to spare Bobby any truths.

¡¥Yeah, Me too!  Bye.¡¦

Bobby smiled again grinning like a maniac as he recalled the whole
conversation for about the tenth time. He¡¦d remembered to phone Bec
too, asking her to please rent
a mini-van for Ellenor while he was away. He had no intention of
rushing this
reunion. He wanted it to last a lifetime, and no matter what it took
he wasn¡¦t
leaving without his wife and son by his side. If he had to pay for
the mini-van
rental for a month it would be chicken feed compared- Bobby can¡¦t
believe how easily
chickens infiltrate your mind. He smiles trying to envision the look
on Lindsay face
when she sees him show up. He¡¦s can¡¦t wait to have her stammering and
stuttering
and trying to come up with a defense for her lapse of rational
thinking. He will delight
in teasing the hell out of her before he lets her off the hook this
time.

His thoughts take a more serious turn as he remembers it won¡¦t be all
fun
and games. NO. There¡¦s been a great deal misunderstanding that have
caused needless pain and suffering for them both. He¡¦s had the worst
time of his life this last few weeks and he doesn¡¦t intend to ever
repeat
the experience. He knows they are going to have to come to terms with
Ross
and the ramifications of her relationship with him. Ross loved
Lindsay, and
she may have had feelings. He doesn¡¦t want to go there. But he can¡¦t
quite
understand how she opened up to Ross so completely, Lindsay had been
cautious with new acquaintances, a background check wouldn¡¦t have
satisfied her doubt. She¡¦d been through so much, who could blame her?


She had to protect herself, and he understood why. But with Ross she
let
all her guards down. Why would she do that, if she didn¡¦t care for
him at
least a little? He knows Ross¡¦s betrayal had been devastating to her,
he¡¦d been
there to bandage the wounds. She denied loving Ross, and maybe he
believes
she doesn¡¦t, but there was something there. Lindsay would never have
turned to Ross and
confided as she had if there wasn¡¦t. He knows he should just
wait and talk to her, but his mind has become a masterful torture
chamber
lately, and he can¡¦t seem to stop it from laying on that bed of nails
even now.

Dr. Ash- He chuckles when he thinks of her appearing out of no where
with the
others to rescue him. He knows how lucky he and Lindsay were to find
her.
He wonders if she is feeling the same way after today.

Which one of the office busy-bodies enlisted her help? He guesses
Lucy, or maybe Helen. For all he knew Helen had the same shrink. God
knows she could use one! His thoughts return to the reason why he
thought of his therapist. Dr Ash told him he had
to be ready to forgive Lindsay for the infidelity. His mind accepts
it, and
understands it, but his heart is another story. It hurt like HELL!
Tears zing
his eyes and he wipes them away preferring the road not to go blurry
while
he¡¦s driving. He will have to talk to her about it. He has to find a
way
for it NOT to matter and mean it forever. He can¡¦t go throwing it in
her
face all the time. He knows all too well how difficult it is to hear
about
your past indiscretions every time you turn around. And who is he
NOT to forgive Lindsay after what he had done. But his devil¡¦s
advocate
reasoning goes into overdrive on this point, because he and Lindsay
were
as far apart as two hardly married people can get when he stupidly
cheated.

He¡¦s NOT making excuses. He shouldn¡¦t have done it period! But that
rebel of a male chauvinist pig still residing deep inside is having a
hard time saying what Lindsay'd done was the same thing. They had
RECONCILED! They were ready to tell
their son! They were planning on buying a house! They even talked
about having
another child!

They were having the time of their live, planning, and dreaming about
everything.
It was like falling in love all over again. He¡¦d put his heart, his
soul, and his life in her hands. He trusted her NOT to stomp all over
it. But she did. And even in her great scheme of altruistic inanity
he doesn¡¦t see ANY reason why she chose to sleep with Ross! She
couldn¡¦t have done it just to prove to him she didn¡¦t want to be with
him. Why the HELL did she do it? He needs answers. He needs to
understand her motivation and above all he needs to know there are NO
residual feelings for Ross. He can¡¦t live
with that.

YES HE CAN! He hits the steering wheel so hard he half expects the
airbags
to come crashing over him.

He has about a half hour to go. He damn well better reconcile his
feelings on the
subject before he sees Lindsay. Ross¡¦s involvement with Lindsay isn¡¦t
going to stop him.
Ross seemed to have given up on securing Lindsay¡¦s love, otherwise
he¡¦d never
been in that court room encouraging Bobby, to believe in his wife¡¦s
loyalty.
He knows he has to stop these insane waves of jealousy whenever he
thinks of Ross.
He knows Ross loves Lindsay, ironically he understands Ross too well.
He knows
what it feels like to think its unrequited love, he knows what its
like to have tasted it
and lose instantly it without warning. He also knows that he would
fight to the
death to win it back. Ross didn¡¦t seem to be in a fighting mood? Why
has
he given up so easily, Bobby¡¦s thrilled he has, but is it really
because Lindsay never
loved him and he knew it?

He read everything Ross wrote, not on one page were there references
to Lindsay¡¦s
conflicted feelings for Ross. And if there ever were feelings on her
part his treachery in writing an unauthorized account of Lindsay¡¦s
and Bobby¡¦s life must have put an abrupt end to it. She loves him.
She married HIM. She gave up their life for HIM!

But that ONE tape the tape he can¡¦t seem to vanquish from his mind is
the
thing that has him still reeling. She made love to Ross, she wanted
him, to
help her forget him. He heard her voice. He heard the desperation in
her
pleas. He heard way more than he ever bargained for. Why? Why had she
done it if she loved him the way he knows now, she still does? They¡¦d
made
love after the whole sordid revelation about Ross. He remembers her
eyes beckoning
his, her lips locking with his, and her arms embracing him hungrily.
He didn¡¦t
imagine any of it, no matter what she said in the morning. She loves
him
he knows it, in his soul.

He keeps the little litany going in his head. She LOVES ME! Claire
said it.
Hell Ross even said it today! Why do I doubt it? How can I after
everything
she¡¦s done to screw things up for us! He tilts his head fondly
recalling that this
is NOT new behavior and she always had his best interests at heart.
Of course
as soon as he has the generous thoughts of her, the undermining ones
snaked in too.
¡¥She SLEPT with another man, out of the blue, when she was supposed
to be
coming back to YOU! NO! NO! STOP IT!¡¦ He can almost hear Dr.
Ash saying ¡¥Bobby you¡¦ve got to get a grip on this now¡¦ He talks to
himself out
loud ¡§I have to change the damn tape in my head once and for all! Or
we won¡¦t make it back to each other ever!¡¨

He prefers never to think of it again, if that¡¦s possible. She¡¦d had
an involvement. NOT an affair. And involvement is the most generous
word he will bestow on it. For him it has to be as though it never
happened. He has to believe NONE of it ever would have if they had
just communicated the way they¡¦d promised to.
Her sleeping with Ross isn¡¦t going to prevent him from spending his
life with her. He knows what it¡¦s like not to think clearly and make
a mistake you can¡¦t ever undo, he¡¦d found that out with Sara. And
he regretted more than anything he¡¦s ever done in his life. And there
were plenty of other things to regret. He isn¡¦t about to give himself
another REGRET. Losing Lindsay is NOT an option. He wouldn¡¦t be
able to live with himself, if he allowed it to happen. No! He won¡¦t!


There is no issue they can¡¦t overcome, and he¡¦s not about to let his
pride get in the way of his own happiness. It doesn¡¦t matter now. All
that matters is getting his life back on track and for him that means
being with his wife and his son.

He notices the lightning and rain showers scattered in the distance.
He knows how much Lindsay hated being in thunderstorms.
He remembers holding her soaked body next to his when they were caught
in one outside the courthouse. He loved that day because they were
barely
even speaking when they accidentally met one another, and they
ended up spending the whole drenched evening together. It was magical
then and it will be again. He hopes she hasn¡¦t gotten scared being in
the
house alone. He wonders if she¡¦ll run into his arms when he walks in
the
door hardly thinking of anything but the fear that propels her. He
sighs as
he pictures the scene until his mind envisions her jumping back out
of his
embrace quickly after forgetting for only a moment she isn¡¦t supposed
to fall
there anymore. But she is! That is exactly where he wants her to be!


His mind has another twenty minutes to occupy and he¡¦s so keyed up
and nervous all at the same time. So he rewinds the last scene
replaying
it with new and more comical results. He sees it as an old black and
white
old movie rerun without sound the over mellow-dramatic music playing.
Sub titles flashing in bold white letters to fill in the audience
blanks.
He pictures Lindsay as a damsel tied to the train tracks with him
rushing in on a white horse to the rescue. She slaps him as soon as
she is rescued and walks off into the sunset with Ross. No that¡¦s not
how its
supposed to go? He shirks that picture out of his mind trying a new
possibility.

Now its some kind of high speed chase like in a Key Stone
cops movie with him chasing her in fast-motion all over the cottage.
They run in and out of doors missing one another until finally he
sees Ross arrive at the front door proclaiming his love he sweeps
Lindsay off her feet, leaving Bobby shocked and heartbroken. Oh this
is going well.

This is what he gets for going to those old movie festivals when he
was in college.

He tries to update the movie selection, preferring a talkie picture.
He lets his mind choose out of its library of subconscious thoughts.
Romeo and Juliet? Where did that come from? They both end
up dead! NO THANKS!

Maybe he should leave the fantasies and focus on something
a little closer to reality.
.
With them it was pretty predictable. First the heart stopping moments
of seeing one another after so much miscommunication and
discombobulating.
After that follows the harsh cross, yelling accusations also normal
for them,
proceeded by quiet hurt silences, punctuated by more screaming,
someone crying,
usually him. He laughs at the image of his joke. And finally,
blissfully,
some whispered words of apology and forgiveness and abracadabra
they are on the same wave length again. And with that wave length
comes
amazingly, passionate heavenly lovemaking. Ten minutes to go. He
smiles and grips the steering wheel tighter trying to calm his
anxious, but happy nerves.
He sees a sprinkle of rain hitting his windshield and turns on the
wipers
for a clearer view as he approaches the one mile marker from
his and Lindsay¡¦s cottage.

Only a few more minutes to go, he¡¦s got to calm down inside he reaches
for the power knob on the CD player, turning the jazzy trumpet music
up loud
enough to drown out his meandering thoughts
&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay managed to find an almost comfortable way of standing still
for what seemed now like days! She¡¦s a sitting duck
for the lightening she dreads is coming. But hey a part of her is
in the house she thinks wryly; her ankle counts doesn¡¦t it? She feels
some pain
in her ankle but she thinks it may be sprained not broken. All this
fun for some
damned rings! NO! Not some damn rings, her rings the rings Bobby chose
for her, and only her. She let them go, she let him go! The
the tears she cried earlier had stained her cheeks pulling her mascara
along with them leaving a black smudgy trail. She can only imagine
what she must look like! She isn¡¦t relishing seeing her reflection in
a mirror
except for if she had one that would mean she¡¦d be inside and NONE of
this would
be happening.

Her mind drifts to another rainy day in a universe not so long ago.
When she had been at odds with Bobby and she was doing everything
she could to avoid him. So of course fate stepped in and as she took
a step onto the courthouse elevator who appears? He took her breath
away that night as he always did. They¡¦d made a disastrous run
for it, trying to make it to her car, they¡¦d argued they¡¦d yelled
she¡¦d cried and at last she ended up in his arms taking her shelter
where she found the most security. Her heel broke as they
were running through the storm and he carried her to safety. She
remembers
how it felt then all that sexual attraction and tension you feel when
you know
you¡¦re in love and you have barely admitted to yourself let alone the
happy
benefactor. She remembers the chill of the rain combined with
electrifying lightening
charged even more by their combustible pairing. They¡¦d been unable to
resist or deny
it. The kisses they shared were jolting and unforgettable. She
remembers the care package she¡¦d received the next day. He called it
a survival kit for future storms, complete with his childhood bear.
She¡¦d since passed him on to Bobby Jr.
She¡¦d loved everything he thought of, but all she ever needed to
survive anything was HIM. She smiles sadly longing for those first
delectable days again.

She can¡¦t keep doing this! She shakes herself mentally knowing
her thoughts need to be directed on her current predicament. This
one holds no hope of her Prince coming to the rescue. She¡¦d gladly
welcome this storm if only it did.

At least it was still summer, imagine getting caught out here like
this
in cold weather. The scattered raindrops that fell so far were
warm, the roof was at least cooled by the water, before it had been
hot and sticky, NOT that she was comfortable by any means. She is
damp she is hungry, she is hurt,
she is a complete mess! The only thing that would help now
is if someone¡K anyone¡K Claire where are your visions? Can¡¦t you hear
me calling out to you? Please someone come! She buries
her head under her hands to try to shield herself from the
latest much louder clap of thunder and its NOT even that
close yet. ¡§Lindsay Dole succumbs to fear of lightning!¡¨ She tries to
joke feebly failing at cracking even a slight smile as she faces her
all too possible ending!

¡§Lindsay LOOK at the bright side, with your foot stuck you can¡¦t
fall off the roof!¡¨ Yeah she decides nodding her head. ¡§That¡¦s
about it for the bright side.¡¨ She gazes off in the direction of
Sam and Claire¡¦s house praying someone will get her mental
pleas of help. She could swear she sees some aunt-like vehicle making
its way towards her friend¡¦s home. But to her surprise the image
doesn¡¦t
stop it passes their house and is headed directly for hers. ¡§THANK
GOD!¡¨
But what if they are heading further up into the mountains and they
don¡¦t see her?
What if she can¡¦t get there attention and they just drive by?

She starts waving her arms and screaming her head off hoping to God
they hear something out of the ordinary and stop. But she realizes the
thunderous claps are getting closer and the daylight a little dimmer
and the
chances of being rescued are slimmer than she wants to imagine.

The car is now appearing full size and approaching the driveway. She
takes on long breath and screams at the top of her
lungs ¡§HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¨ She
waves her arms and gestures frantically unsure if she can be seen
because of chimney and angle she is standing at. The car
to her joy stops right in front of the house.

Maybe Sam or Claire got a new one? She¡¦s never seen it before
she can only make out that it¡¦s a deep blue minivan, the windows are
tinted so with the fading light she can¡¦t be sure if there is more
than one person inside it. There
has to be a driver she assures her overwrought mind that she is NOT
hallucinating.
It has to be SOMEONE!

Ok so she here she is standing like an idiot sideways on a roof with
her foot stuck
and her life hanging in the balance. DOES she care who it is!
Well aside from a serial killer she¡¦ll take anyone¡¦s help at this
point in time. She cranes her neck and tries to stand taller but with
one foot down-there-somewhere she can¡¦t quite accomplish that
feat. She holds her breath waiting for the occupant/s to get
out of the car. Who ever it is must have heard her? But if so
why in the hell aren¡¦t they out of the car. What if they
just lost their direction and stopped for a moment to read
a map or something? Maybe they didn¡¦t hear her at all. She
doubts they could see her as the drove up. She screams again shrilly
and
loudly.
&&&&&&&&
Bobby sits there for a moment with the car running in the driveway.
He needs a moment
to compose his thoughts and to conquer his fears. He sounded a lot
more confident when he was talking to Claire than he actually feels
inside. So much has happened. And so fast, he needs the time to let
it all sink in. The soft sexy melody playing helps to ignite that
over-active imagination once again.

He wonders where she is, will she be in the living room, and will
he see her as he walks through the door, or in the kitchen preparing
dinner, or upstairs taking a nap. What will it feel like to see her
again, now that he knows. He can¡¦t just sit here all night! The storm
is getting close and  he¡¦d better get in there in case Lindsay is
dealing with those old fears again. He wonders if she still has
the bear he gave her for that? He smiles when he thinks of how
little-girl-like she gets over that silly bear. Awe that¡¦s right she
gave it to Bobby Jr. She would never let Bobby Jr. know she
was afraid of the storms because it would only add to the child¡¦s
insecurity. She is the best Mom in the world. He loves watching
her with their son. And now he¡¦s about to make sure he
will be able to do that again, twenty-four seven till eternity.

He suddenly has no desire to put it off any longer. Seize the day
or better yet the woman. He reaches for the key with his right hand
while his left hand grasps the handle of the door.
&&&&&&&
Lindsay gasps as she sees the car door open. Joy of JOY! She
hopes its Sam because Claire is pregnant and not likely
to be able to help get her inside right away, she¡¦d have to
call for help, and well she just hopes its Sam.

She waits wide eyed ready to smile for the first time since
this already unfortunate day took a turn for the worst.
What she sees wipes the smile off her face and changes her
hopeful look to one of total despair.

¡§OH MY GOD! Bobby!¡¨ She whispers. Her
heart takes a flying leap as her eyes tear up. He¡¦s here. How
right that it¡¦s him! And how horribly wrong all at the same time!
She¡¦d know that
image anywhere. His broad shoulders the way he stands¡K She takes
a deep gulping breath. She can¡¦t be unhappy to see him, because
seeing him always brings her a joy she has never known with anyone
else.
Her heart does that old flip flop thing she thought would go years
ago along with the passion. How wrong she¡¦d been, she feels it
more strongly  than ever. She can¡¦t imagine it ever waning now.

It¡¦s him. He¡¦s here, and she¡¦s stuck on this roof looking
so ridiculous. She wants to scream out to him a part of her
really does, but another part holds back. She can¡¦t! If she lets
him know where she is, he will come, and she will be lost and
at the same time truly found. She was NEVER supposed to be found!

She hears him walking up the steps and the loud clamor of the
screen door shutting hard. She takes a deep breath knowing it¡¦s only
a matter of time.
He¡¦ll probably go to the kitchen and the check out the rooms
downstairs first. Did Claire and Sam call him? How did he know?
Why is he here? GOD! I thought I was done saying goodbye to him!
She thinks logically, all the while her heart is doing a happy
jig denying she will ever truly bid him farewell.

She feels the rainfall escalate and she is quickly becoming soaked to
the skin
she can¡¦t let him know she¡¦s there. No matter what!. Thank God she
walked from
Claire¡¦s. Sam offered to check her car over for adequate fluid and
tire pressure and he promised to bring it to her first thing in the
morning. So if she stays here she knows Sam will come in the morning.
She can do it. What¡¦s one little night out in the rain? She
prefers not to consider one little night exposed to the thunder and
lightening.

But Bobby might stay here. She can¡¦t even imagine the torture of
knowing he is in the house all night and that she is right outside
the bedroom. Did he come out of the blue on his own, just to
be alone? If she wasn¡¦t so filled with conflicted emotion she¡¦d see
that of course he will figure out she is here, the minute he sees
the broken wine glass scattered on the bedroom carpet, the half-
consumed
bottle of wine, and her cell phone on the dresser, he will know she¡¦s
here. But she isn¡¦t thinking with her usual logic at all she is only
feeling and wishing.

¡§LINDSAY!¡¨ His voice breaks her distressed confusion. So much
for the theory he came here to be by himself. She shakes her head
dismally. He¡¦s here because of her. How did he know where
she was? She knows Claire and Sam would never betray her
confidence.

She sees him entering the bedroom she can only see the top half
of him. But OHHHHHHHHHH what a half!

He knows she is there, the jig is up. There is no use pretending.
She sees him surveying the room as though it¡¦s a crime scene. He
picks up
the wine bottle looking through to see how much is left, he sees the
overnight bag she didn¡¦t even think of sitting by the door still
unpacked.

¡§Lindsay!¡¨ He calls out again and she can hear the concern in his
voice. ¡§

¡§LINDSAY!¡¨ Please where are you! ¡¨He must have seen her cell phone by
now
Yes, he has it in his hand. She sees him pushing the buttons the
odd melodic beeps can be heard only faintly because for the moment
the storm
has abated. She watches seeing his upper torso disappear from
sight, and she knows he has found the broken crystal fragments along
with the wine stains. He stands again the phone clutched to his ear,
and by
the look on his face she knows he¡¦s quite agitated.

She can¡¦t make out the words he is speaking at all, but she
can almost guess what they are. He shuts the phone quickly surveying
the room once more.

¡§LINDSAY ANSWER ME!¡¨ Bobby is scared to death
maybe she was cut by all this glass and she could be bleeding to
death somewhere! He runs into the adjoining bathroom.

She can¡¦t tell him. She should she knows she should, she¡¦s probably
only
putting off the inevitable because he probably called Claire and now
he
knows she¡¦s not with them. He knows her car was never was here. He
will know she is still here somewhere. But her throat closes just as
she is about to call out to him. She can¡¦t do it. She¡¦s going to ruin
everything.

She sees him run back out of the empty bathroom and exiting the
bedroom.
She can almost picture him taking the stairs two at a time.

She feels the vibration as the front door slams shut.

She sees him run out towards the van and she can here
him screaming her name looking around him frantically
trying to locate her.

¡§LINDSAY ANSWER ME ARE YOU HURT! MY GOD
LINDSAY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¨ Did she try to
walk back to Sam¡¦s and Claire¡¦s bleeding and pass out somewhere?
He might have missed seeing her because his mind was so preoccupied.
The mere thought that he could have been so careless sends pain
coursing
through his whole body. NO! He¡¦s got to find her! What if she¡¦s here
though
and NOT on the road! He can¡¦t decide what to do first. He¡¦s looked
everywhere
inside so she must have headed for Claire¡¦s to get help! His hand
goes out to open
the minivan door when suddenly he hears a blissfully unsettling
scream.


She tries to wrench her foot free maybe if she does she can find a way
out of here without him finding her, she could sneak back to Sam¡¦s
and Claire¡¦s
grab her car and get away before he ever knows. As she gives her foot
one more force filled jerk she screams out in pain, unable to control
the nerve shattering reaction to her latest form of stupidity. That
little
getaway plan has one huge glitch now.

Bobby stops in his tracks. He heard her scream. ¡§LINDSAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I¡¦M HERE! IT¡¦S BOBBY! WHERE ARE YOU? LET ME HELP YOU!¡¨

Lindsay hears the choked teary tone of Bobby¡¦s pleas and she can¡¦t
allow
him to be frightened about her one more second.

¡§BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¨ She yells out as loudly as she can
she can¡¦t let him think she¡¦s hurt or in danger. That would be too
cruel, and
she¡¦s already hurt him enough.

¡§Lindsay!¡¨ His voice rises in hopeful, but anxious concern.

¡§I¡¦m up HERE!  ON THE ROOF I¡¦m OKAY!¡¨ Lindsay yells back feeling like
a complete and total idiot.

¡§What in the hell are you doing up there?¡¨ the relief turns to
agitated
anger instantly. He is unable to even see her.
He moves around tilting his head back walking backwards and trying
hard to figure out which direction to go.

¡§I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET HIT BY LIGHTNING!¡¨ Lindsay
calls back so relieved to be able to joke about it. That might be
preferable to dealing
with Bobby ONE more time.

Bobby doesn¡¦t voice his thought that a lightning strike will
be mild compared to his wrath once he gets her in his arms. What the
hell is she thinking?
She could have been killed!

¡§LINDSAY KEEP TALKING I CAN¡¦T SEE YOU!¡¨ Bobby instructs her.
¡§HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?¡¨

¡§JUST COME AND GET ME I¡¦LL EXPLAIN LATER!¡¨ Lindsay
wonders why in the hell he¡¦s still outside. Why doesn¡¦t Bobby realize
that to get to her he¡¦ll need to come out the window too?  She needs
to be INSIDE NOW!

¡§You¡¦re not in any danger of falling?¡¨ He asked making certain she is
safe.

¡§NO! But I¡¦m ready to get back inside!¡¨ She assures him.

¡§And your fine, NOT cut, bleeding or anything?¡¨ Bobby asks
mysteriously.

¡§Yes, Bobby I told you I¡¦m okay.¡¨ She doesn¡¦t want to tell him about
her
foot yet he¡¦ll see for himself and this is embarrassing enough as it
is.

¡§YOU HAVE TO COME IN TO GET ME INSIDE! I don¡¦t
see our ladder anywhere I think Sam must have borrowed it again.¡¨
She¡¦d
looked for it earlier,  but quickly came to the realization even if
it was there, someone would have to be able to deliver it to her for
it to be of any use. ¡§YOU HAVE TO GET ME FROM INSIDE!¡¨ Lindsay
directs him again fully expecting his immediate cooperation.

¡§NO!¡¨ Bobby yells back and at last he has found a view of her precious
but maddening head. He¡¦d be worried but she¡¦s assured him she
is in no immediate danger. He¡¦d been afraid his arrival might scare
her off, so this
is actually working out better than he ever expected.

¡§WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?¡¨ Lindsay calls back unable to believe
the stubborn refusal in his voice.

¡§JUST WHAT I SAID! NO!¡¨ Bobby informs her folding both
arms on his chest.

¡§BOBBY! DON¡¦T joke around with me! I need to get off this
DAMN ROOF NOW! Can¡¦t YOU hear the thunder, I can see
lightening heading this way too!¡¨ Lindsay voice isn¡¦t hiding her fear
too well.

For a split second Bobby nearly takes pity on her. But this situation
is almost too good to be true.
¡§You sat on the window ledge again didn¡¦t you, like I¡¦ve told
YOU NOT TO DO A THOUSAND TIMES?¡¨ Bobby sounds like
a weary worn dad scolding a mischievous child. ¡§And you didn¡¦t
shimmy the window open either did you?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s been through this
frustration with her before. He¡¦s often found Lindsay daydreaming on
the window
ledge and insisted she put a piece of wood in to hold the window
steady. He¡¦s warned her and warned her! He¡¦s even had her get
up momentarily so he can do the task for her. He swore to her many
times that there were
some parts of the old cottage that were haunted and that the bedroom
window was
definitely one!

¡§Bobby I can explain what happened but GET ME OFF THIS ROOF!¡¨
She¡¦s NOT about to admit her error in judgment to him. She had to
retain some dignity here. As much as you can have when you¡¦re in her
ridiculous shoes or shoe as the case may be.

¡§NO, Sorry Lindsay! Bobby takes a look at his watch to emphasize his
point. ¡§the worst of the  storm is about half hour away and we have
about that much time ¡¥till dark and well I have a few questions I¡¦d
like answers too, and uh¡Kthe way I see it I¡¦m in a perfect position
to get them. Now, you, getting what it is you want? Not so much!¡¨ He
jokes with her as he always had delighting in a little sidebar
bantering along the way. ¡§So, what will it be? Are you going to
answer my questions or are you enjoying the view too much?¡¨ Bobby
smiles wickedly it¡¦s good to have upper hand.

¡§ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!¡¨ Lindsay¡¦s growl thunders
down over his head and if LOOKS could kill well her eyes
would be the  kryptonite flattening her not so super man
into a pile of helpless putty. She smiles very satisfied with the
image of Bobby magically being turned into a moldable object, with
both her hands scooping him up eager and willing to do the job.

¡§NO I think I¡¦m perfectly sane, no thanks to YOU!¡¨ Bobby shouts.
He¡¦s still just a little angry with her, okay more than a little. She
had
driven him just about crazy these last few weeks.

Lindsay still won¡¦t give in and tell him that she has one foot stuck
in
the house because well he¡¦s already making this already totally
humiliating experience worse as ONLY Bobby knows how to do.

¡§GET ME DOWN BOBBY DONNELL OR I¡¦LL!¡¨

¡§YOU¡¦LL what? Bobby chuckles ¡§I don¡¦t think you¡¦re in any
position to make threats. ¡§Unless of course you¡¦re planning
to take the short way down and land on me?¡¨

¡§DON¡¦T TEMPT ME!¡¨ Lindsay calls back.

¡§ARE you ready to cry UNCLE yet? I bet it¡¦s YOUR finger that¡¦s
feeling a bit
twisted now isn¡¦t it MS. DOLE!¡¨ He can¡¦t resist calling her that just
as
he had in those first days. And the finger twisting altercations he¡¦d
repeatedly
lost to her, were about to be made up to him in ONE major twist.
¡§Cry Uncle¡¨ He shouts smiling a little more as his shirt is becoming
thoroughly
spattered with raindrops.  He¡¦d whined at her all the time that one
of his
poor fingers remains crooked to this day from her over-twisting
machinations.

¡§It¡¦s not my finger you moron it¡¦s my foot!¡¨ Lindsay grumbles under
her breath. She¡¦s ready to wring his twisted neck! She forgets
she is not exactly at the best advantage to be name calling.
¡§Bobby you¡¦re acting like an ass! GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!¡¨
Lindsay orders as if she¡¦s still wearing the pants in the family.

¡§We need to talk! I have questions Lindsay!¡¨ Bobby calmly
replies tearing the pants right off her.

A huge clap of rolling thunder drowns out Bobby¡¦s insufferable
laughter.

A tear slips down Lindsay¡¦s cheek. ¡§OKAY OKAY ask your
damn questions so I can get the HELL OFF THIS ROOF
AND GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!¡¨ she screams wondering
how much longer their voices will last.

¡§GOOD I thought you¡¦d see things my way.¡¨

¡§Bobby just come rescue me I promise I¡¦ll answer anything you ask
just please!¡¨ Her voice ends on a gulping sob.

¡§Lindsay are you crying?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s pleasure quickly vanishes
as he hears the mournful plea of her voice. He finally senses
she is hurt after all. Something is wrong. Of course it is you
dummy why would she be on a roof in a storm?

¡§Lindsay are YOU hurt tell me the truth!¡¨ He should have known
better, Lindsay has always put on a brave front even when she
was in labor with her son she called it stupid back pain. He¡¦d
listened
to her then dismissing it as easily as she had, only to find out it
was a tad more when their
son was born on a courtroom floor. His stomach is twisting in knots
as he realizes he could have been wasting precious time to help her.
Damn it why didn¡¦t she say so in the first place?

¡§Yes- maybe-a little- Bobby please-.¡¨

Bobby¡¦s already halfway up the stairs by the time Lindsay answers.

He runs into their bedroom realizing what he should have figured
out before. That damn window! It had fallen and locked her
outside!

Lindsay watches him run into the bedroom again heading
immediately for the window. She knows he knows that the
window has a mind of its own and he¡¦s warned her it's NOT
a safe place to perch that¡¦s why the plans were made to put
in French doors and a balcony.

She watches scrunching her face a little half hoping it won¡¦t open
because if it betrays her and slides open easily she will be looking
even MORE foolish than she already does.
He shoves at it with all his strength but NO luck. Good she is
relieved
No further feelings of mortification necessary. Of course that means
it won¡¦t be
a quick rescue. She strains her neck to survey the progress of the
storm.
The ominous descending grey clouds change her perspective
immediately.
Maybe she wishes the stupid window had opened after all.

Bobby gives up the struggle straining his eyes to pinpoint her
location, the
storm has cast an unusually early dusk. ¡§Lindsay keep talking to me,
where are you out there?¡¨

¡§I¡¦m in front of you down a ways I can see you!¡¨ She calls back. She
knows
what a miracle his being here is. HE came. He always
comes. In every major crisis she¡¦s ever had, and there have
been many since she met him, he¡¦s been there for her.
She loves that here he is once again. But as happy as it makes
her on one level it devastates her on another.

  Now what does she do, hurt him some more. Does she
accept his help and then show him the door again? How can she
keep doing that? The only thing she really wants is to welcome him
home
with open arms.

The storm is definitely worsening. A deafening crash of thunder
drowns out
what ever Bobby is calling to her.

¡§Bobby I can¡¦t hear YOU!¡¨ She screams in between the booming
noises.

¡§STAY PUT!¡¨ HE yells back trying to figure out what the best
way to get to his wife is.

¡§I can¡¦t really do anything else!¡¨ She assures him as loudly as
she can.

Bobby goes to the closest room with a larger sized window which
unfortunately is on the opposite side of the house. He tries the
window there but it must have swelled
in the humid summer storm. He can¡¦t get it to budge either. He runs
downstairs to the
utility area finding a nice heavy crow bar. If he has to break the
damn thing
to get to his wife to safety he will, gladly. He inserts the bar
under the window sash and
using his foot against the ledge for leverage and his anxious
adrenaline he
is able to get the window to open a sliver, he reinserts the bar again
and this time he is able to pry the whole thing free. He grabs the
emergency flashlight
they keep under all the beds for power outages. Lindsay made sure
they were always prepared for the dreaded summer squalls. He grabs up
the crowbar too
because he has no idea if he needs it or not. At least it might help
keep them
attached on the roof as they make there way back.  As he steps out to
the roof his heart skips a beat because in seconds he will see her up
close and personally. He swallows the lump in his throat and proceeds
carefully to her end of the roof. His sight
is blurred by increasing wind and rain but he trudges on determined
to get his Lady to safety.

¡§Bobby is that you?¡¨ Lindsay asks strangely oblivious to
how ridiculous a question that is.

¡§Yeah it¡¦s me.¡¨ He¡¦s so worried he misses the golden opportunity to
tease her.

¡§Good.¡¨ Lindsay says humbly only too willing to take his help.

¡§Where are you hurt?¡¨ Bobby asks wanting to know the extent of her
injuries.

¡§Uh¡K I¡¦m not hurt really- it I-¡¨ Lindsay sputters wanting to avoid
the embarrassing
admission.

¡§Lindsay for God¡¦s sakes TELL me if you¡¦re hurt, I¡¦m almost there.¡¨
Bobby assures her
inching his way carefully around the precarious tiles.

¡§I ¡KMY FOOT IS CAUGHT in-¡§ She cringes as she admits the depth of
her predicament. ¡§It went through some rotten tiles!¡¨ She confesses.

¡§You¡¦re not bleeding or anything?¡¨ He asks again fearfully. Oh God
why had
he made her wait! He knows what a stubborn mule she can be!

¡§NO! I don¡¦t think so. Nothing¡¦s broken that I know of, but I lost my
shoe.¡¨

¡§You and YOUR shoes!¡¨ She can hear Bobby laughing with relief. Of
course his jovial reaction only serves to incite that already edgy
mood she¡¦s in.

¡§I¡¦m so glad YOU find this funny!¡¨

He can picture her expression before he even sees her he knows from
her tone
that its got to be the one where she folds both arms stubbornly while
she taps
one foot impatiently.
Of course that might be impossible with only one foot available.

¡§Well you¡¦ve got to admit Lindsay you do know how to put your foot in
it now don¡¦t
you!¡¨ Bobby teases realizing she is not in dire need of help if she
can take the
time to scold him. Yes it¡¦s beginning to rain a little harder, and
yes the thunder is closer, but he does still have the home team
advantage, she needs him so she has to be
civil no matter what he says, and she knows it!

He hears her frustrated growl. And for the life of him he can¡¦t stop
another
full throated chuckle. ¡§Oh come on now Lindsay surely you can see the
humor in this?¡¨  Bobby¡¦s tone is much less concerned than before and
that does NOTHING to calm
Lindsay¡¦s frazzled nerves.

¡§Are you coming? You¡¦re going to get me off the roof right?¡¨
Something in Bobby¡¦s casual tone is NOT very reassuring.

¡§Oh Yeah eventually.¡¨ He answers lazily as if oblivious to her
peril.

¡§Why aren¡¦t you coming?¡¨ She asks impatiently.

¡§Because there are a few things I¡¦d like to know before I get there
Lindsay.¡¨ The familiar aggravating voice echoes out of the descending
darkness.

¡§LIKE WHAT?¡¨ She is getting wetter and more uncomfortable by the
minute.
¡§This is NO time to play twenty questions Bobby what is it with you
LAWYERS!¡¨

¡§You¡¦re a lawyer too!¡¨ Bobby reminds her snottily

¡§But I¡¦m NOT the one asking questions out here in a thunderstorm
when MY WIFE HAS HER FOOT CAUGHT IN A ROOF AND IS ABOUT READY TO
SCREAM!¡¨

¡§Lindsay you are screaming.¡¨ Bobby calmly replies. He loves that she
referred to him in a round-about way as her husband.

¡§THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I¡¦m GOING TO DO WHEN I
GET MY HANDS ON YOU!¡¨

¡§Ah promises, promises!¡¨ Bobby responds.

¡§Bobby Donnell what is it going to take to get me off this roof!¡¨

He smiles as he envisions a delectable version of what it would
take for him to always let her have her way. He sees her in the peach
gown
beckoning to him with her smoky blue eyes one silky strap falling
off her shoulder- He suddenly brings himself back to the moment at
hand as his foot slips a little on a roof tile. The last thing he
needs to do is make another hole in the roof. because he fully
intends to rescue his damsel in distress. He inches closer towards
her
knowing he¡¦s not giving up on that enticing fantasy he just had
either.

¡§Answer the questions!¡¨ He orders stubbornly. He¡¦s getting
a little soaked too, but he remembers what it feels like to
be wearing wet clothes and becoming suctioned to Lindsay when she¡¦s
soft, wet and pliable. It was never what he would call an unpleasant
experience.

¡§FINE!¡¨ Lindsay crosses her already cross arms.

Bobby magically appears like a long awaited vision. Hearing his voice
had
calmed her internally. But seeing him affects her in a whole
different way. The flashlight provides enough luminosity to see his
face, and looking into his eyes she knows she will always have these
silly butterflies at the mere sight of him. It takes her breath away.
And the instant relief she feels at actually having him within arms
reach sends a hot/cold shiver up her back.

They stand there just staring in that way they always had, whenever
things
weren¡¦t quite right between them. It only took a look to calm the
waters at
least for the moment. It happened that way every time.
Their longing eyes cutting through the shadows seeing deep into one
another¡¦s souls.
That was the look they shared now. It was like the day in the office
when
Lindsay told him she missed him, and she missed being held by him.
They were two star-crossed lovers unable to speak words of devotion.
But they could always see it, in those gazing fiery exchanges that
filled the distance between them closing it and extinguishing it
completely. A mere glance was all it ever took. The room could be
crowded with strangers but their eyes would seek mutual sustenance. A
small secret shared smile played across the distance and wordlessly
they¡¦d make their way towards one another. That spark was still very
much alive and cracking more loudly than the storm.

Bobby returns to reality when he hears the nearing thunder and
registers the menacing streak of jagged lightning crisscrossing the
sky. It¡¦s a little too close for comfort.

He kneels down carefully, quickly assessing the trapped foot with the
flashlight. She feels
his hand touching the tip of one of her toes and the familiar goose
bump
verifications of his touch send zigzagging chills up her back.  He
works
wordlessly straining to move something back from around her ankle
using the
crow bar to aide his work. Finally he stands up the flashing
lightening illuminates his wet drizzly face.

Lindsay¡¦s heart feels as though it¡¦s been the rope in a tug-of-war.
He holds out his arms ready to steady her as he orders her to pull
her once captive limb free. She tugs gently afraid to incite further
pain, and her foot magically releases itself from the hole. She
wasn¡¦t expecting such instantaneous emancipation. The sudden result
throws her off balance capitulating her directly into his waiting
arms.

He holds on tightly to steady her, the electricity that ignites at
the smallest touch brings
a lump to Bobby¡¦s throat, he swallow hard, trying to control his
reaction to her proximity Caressing her in any form always reduced
him into some kind of helpless besotted idiot.
This time was even worse than usual because he hadn¡¦t been sure even
a day ago
he would ever get to hold her again. They stand that way for several
seconds
taking shelter the deafening crackling thunder surrounding them.

She closes her eyes settling her head against his chest. The feel of
his
body against her feels so right and so perfect, this is what she
longed for
this is all she ever needs.

Bobby leans his cheek against her beloved drenched hair, and he
wishes there
was a way to bypass everything else, but this, all that he wants is
in his arms.
He wants to go on holding her forever.

As the weathers wrath subsides for a moment she realizes she isn¡¦t
where she
needs to be at all. This will NOT help her accomplish anything! The
rate she¡¦s going they won¡¦t make it into the house before they¡¦ve
torn one another¡¦s clothing off.

She quickly and reluctantly separates her body from his. She tries to
put some
weight on the once imprisoned leg. It¡¦s not as bad as she thought it
would be,
it didn¡¦t feel sprained; after all it must have been awkward angle
and being held
still for so long, it feels numb; it probably went to sleep when
it had nothing better to do.

¡§Is it okay?¡¨ Bobby asks ready to snatch her back into his arms if
necessary.
He¡¦s a little sad she didn¡¦t stay there. But a part of him is still
angry with her
because she¡¦d been foolish and careless with her life and by doing so
endangered his as well! And his thinking has NOTHING to do with the
roof, or the damn storm.

¡§Yeah, not even sprained after all.¡¨  Lindsay admits embarrassed again
by this silly situation.

¡§Hmmmmmmmp!¡¨ Bobby grumbles as his more irate side wins over his
zealous heart.

He grabs her hand roughly guiding her as the ascend to a higher spot
on the roof
an areas offering a little more protection near their bedroom
window. The light shining from inside the room makes it easier to see
one another, but not easier to face one another. Bobby drops her hand
as if the forced contact has burned his.

They have a little stare down again now as each one sizes up the
situation.
Lindsay can tell she won¡¦t be winning this round by the angry spark
in Bobby¡¦s eyes. ¡§WHAT!¡¨ Lindsay gruff voice belies her happiness
at being anywhere with him again, even if it is on this damn roof! The
flashlight glow combined with the intermittent lightning angry face
appear a little more intimidating than usual.

¡§WHAT! What in the HELL were you thinking running away like this?¡¨
Bobby is letting the livid side of him take over. Never mind they
are on a roof in the near dark during a thunderstorm that has
surprisingly
taken a quiet turn which is nice because now he doesn¡¦t have
to keep shouting, his voice is already raspy from the yelling he did
on the ground. ¡§You ran away again Lindsay!¡¨

¡§I didn¡¦t run away, I just needed to GET away for a few days.¡¨
Lindsay explains her own voice getting prickly. She wanted comfort
NOT interrogation. What is he thinking keeping her out here like this!

¡§LIAR!¡¨ Comes back his clipped response.

¡§I¡¦m NOT lying! Please Bobby get me inside!
I¡¦ve been out here for hours!¡¨ Lindsay¡¦s voice holds an uncertain
wobbly
desperation but Bobby isn¡¦t giving in that easily. He longs
to shorten the fighting time and get to the all important
pleasurably passionate conclusion.

Lindsay doesn¡¦t want to admit the catastrophe her get away has turned
into.

¡§Lindsay You were running away again! Damn it! ADMIT IT!¡¨

¡§I¡¦m entitled to go on vacation just like anyone else!¡¨ Lindsay
arms unfold then refold in stubborn defiance.

¡§Yeah and you take OUR son without ONE word to me!¡¨ Bobby
snipes back.

¡§He was only coming this far with me.¡¨ She explains realizing too
late this only reinforced his theory of her running which of course
is correct
but he doesn¡¦t need to know it. ¡§You were supposed to come and get
him.¡¨ She stops.

¡§Yeah! Thanks for LETTING me know! You were running from ME! DON¡¦T
lie to me!¡¨

¡§Okay Bobby if I agree I was on the run will you kindly get your
very charming butt in gear and get me INSIDE!¡¨ Lindsay is at
the end of her nerves. This is all too much!

¡§YES if you admit it I¡¦ll get you inside.¡¨ He promises softening a
little.

¡§Okay! FINE! You want answers. Be careful what you ask for!
  You won¡¦t ever believe that I don¡¦t want to be with you
anymore no matter what I say, we keep on falling back into- so I
decided distance was a good idea.¡¨

¡§Don¡¦t you know by now that distance is NEVER a good idea for us?¡¨
Bobby asks croaking a little.

She expected his anger. She anticipated his being upset about Bobby
Jr.
But hearing him say ¡§US¡¨ as though there still was one was her
undoing.

She wants to cry. Her nerves are raw and her heart is too. Seeing him
here, when she wished so hard that he would be, is surreal. Why does
this keep happening? Why
won¡¦t he just let her go? She¡¦s so torn in two over good intentions
and letting him go, and wanting him so much it made her teeth hurt!
Lindsay does what any wife would do in this situation she throws the
blame where it belongs squarely on HIS shoulders.

¡§You know Bobby YOU should have called to get this roof fixed ages
ago! And that blasted WINDOW too!¡¨ She puts one hand on her hip. If
anyone saw them now
they wouldn¡¦t believe it. They both look like something even a cat
wouldn¡¦t want to drag in. Lindsay¡¦s finger is pointing at him, her
face
is a charcoal smudged nightmare, her clothing is plastered to her body
and where it¡¦s not drenched the shirt looks almost comical with the
billowing air pockets combined with the suctioned transparency. Her
hair is beyond straggly and her voice is on its last legs after all
the yelling and screaming she¡¦s done. She¡¦s barely holding on to her
composure and so turning on him takes all the energy she has left. In
spite of her woeful condition she feels a little spark ignite inside
her. Arguing with Bobby
again is sheer paradise.

Bobby shakes his head almost fondly. His wife is scolding him
terribly and
as he hears the raspy accusations and he knows it¡¦s because she is not
about to cry. In any crisis when ever she wanted to cry she always
managed
to turn it into anger and accusations. Crying always came after that.
His heart smiles as he goes happily along with the longstanding
routine.

He knows the game he¡¦s played it often. ¡§ME! Is your finger broken?
You¡¦d could of called too! Why is it women always expect MEN to take
care of the repairs! You all say you want equality, but everything
that requires
some kind of tool, or ladder is the man¡¦s fault! You¡¦re as capable as
I am Lindsay!
Isn¡¦t that what you¡¦ve drilled into me for years!¡¨

¡§You¡¦re damned right I am!¡¨ Lindsay shouts back. Arguing is something
they do best. They¡¦ve turned it to an art form over the years.

Bobby¡¦s heart feels lighter inside than it has in weeks. Maybe it was
the altitude but he knows it¡¦s more than likely the lovely company he
is finally
getting to keep. ¡§Yeah I see that by how well you faired out here!¡¨

¡§I did JUST fine without YOU! I don¡¦t need a man to-¡§ Lindsay stops
lying to him and to herself, she very much needs this man. What
would she have done without him? She never wants to know. But
she already knows and now she has to deny the truth once again.

Bobby senses she is near the crying stage so he gives her a moment
to realize it. Then he launches the next not so vehement attack.

¡§Are YOU ever going to tell me how YOU ended up out here in the first
place?¡¨
He says it almost jokingly all the while his fingers have made there
way
to her face traveling delightedly up her cheek ¡§My little fickle-
feathered trouble-maker.¡¨ His tone is soft and tender now and even
with his recrimination she hears the love oozing through.

¡§I¡¦m not feathered.¡¨ Her soft protesting murmur causes him to smile
indulgently.

¡§Awe but you are, according to Sam.¡¨ Bobby replies softly.

She can¡¦t take any of this anymore, she isn¡¦t strong
enough to keep up the fight. Bobby¡¦s being so incredibly sweet and
she¡¦d been more frightened than she realized up on this damned perch
all alone! And now to have his
hard strong body to lean on, when she thought she¡¦d never experience
this kind of security again was too much. His hands are patting
her back making ready for the usual flood gates to open.

All she can do is bury her face against him and sob her
heart out. ¡§It¡¦s okay baby, Awe Lindsay don¡¦t cry, you know how
much I hate it when you cry!¡¨ Bobby croons softly to her.
Rain is pouring down again beating against his back, and all he wants
to do is shield her from the pelting tirade. He smiles gently holding
her hungrily. His
fingers are curling around her body eager to partake of her softness.
It¡¦s all right Lindsay we¡¦ll get you inside baby- I¡¦m here, you don¡¦t
have to cry.¡¨

¡§Yes I do¡K¡¨ She sobs and gulps and hiccups all at the same time.

¡§Why?¡¨ His soft whisper asks her hoping she will make a full
confession. She
certainly isn¡¦t acting as though she doesn¡¦t want him here.

¡§I don¡¦t know!¡¨ He can feel her body shudder a little as she refuses
to tell him.
He knows she needs to feel the comfort of the great indoors before she
will even be close to telling him what he longs to hear.

He gently puts one arm around her shoulders as he directs the
flashlight straight
ahead. They start to take a few steps towards their destination of
warmth and shelter.

¡§I can¡¦t!¡¨ She remembers suddenly what brought her out here in the
first place. She pulls him back refusing to be urged on. Her rings!
She can¡¦t just leave them behind now? What does she do? If she tells
him what she came out here after, he¡¦ll know why. Any chance of
continuing the subterfuge after revealing that will be useless. She
can¡¦t tell him anything about the rings ever. Besides she not going
to ask
him to risk his neck in the middle of a storm. He¡¦s already done that
just to rescue
her.

¡§I lost something out here, that¡¦s why I-I was trying to get it
back.¡¨ Lindsay
tries to shrug it off as unimportant now.

¡§What did you lose?¡¨ Bobby asks feeling a little impatient. He
imagines
it was the cork to the wine or some other stupid thing she could very
well have gone without. The idea of her risking her neck for something
so insignificant stymies him

¡§It¡¦s ¡V I-. never mind it doesn¡¦t matter.¡¨ She finishes lamely her
voice saddened
as she realizes she may never recover them after the storm.

¡§Okay let¡¦s get inside. The weathers going to be getting a LOT worse
before it ends.¡¨ Bobby promises her, knowing that this prediction
holds
true for them as well.

¡§Please.¡¨ Lindsay agrees limping a little on the not too happy foot.

¡§You have to hold on to me, and follow my lead we¡¦ll have to
go around the way I came, from the guest room, its going to be easy,
don¡¦t worry
I¡¦ve got you, we¡¦ll take it slow. Just HOLD ON!¡¨

¡§Bobby¡¨

¡§Yes?

¡§Do you think you could come up with ANY other words in crisis
situations
besides those!¡¨ Lindsay asked sarcastically.

¡§Not good huh?¡¨  Bobby returns amicably.

¡§NO! They¡¦re right up there with ¡§HERE WE GO¡¨ and ¡§Listen to
YOURSELF!¡¨

Bobby sees the humor because he knows her so well. ¡§Hang On¡¨ would
that be a better choice for roofs?¡¨
He asks thoroughly amused as they make there way to safety and warmth.
The bantering helps to take there minds off the escalating storm and
the
steep danger of their shared journey.

¡§Hardly!¡¨ Lindsay snaps, and he can almost see her eyes rolling.

At last they¡¦ve made it safely up to the guest room window the place
of Bobby¡¦s original departure. His arms scoop her up for a moment
helping her descend through the
open window. The floor is wet from the rains unbarred entrance.
Lindsay feels her one-stocking foot squishing into the carpet. She is
trembling but only for a moment because Bobby¡¦s hands have draped a
blanket around her shoulders and his fingers clasp
the ends together holding her in a little haven against his chest.

¡§We need to get you into a hot bath right away!¡¨ Bobby informs her
paying no heed to her protests.

¡§Bobby are you kidding! You want to put me in water during a
lightning storm? I don¡¦t
think so!¡¨

¡§Lindsay nothings going to happen to you, you need to¡K¡¨ Bobby¡¦s eyes
take in her bedraggled appearance but all he sees is the utter beauty
that
has always taken his breath away. His eyes gaze into hers and for a
moment
any estrangement disappears. His mouth opens slightly as he searches
for a word any word- but as always when this happens he becomes
speechless and weak kneed. His soaked hair is dribbling down his
cheeks and his eyes glow sparking like awakened embers into hers.

He doesn¡¦t wait for her permission he doesn¡¦t dare ask. She opens
her mouth to speak, but no words come. It¡¦s only the two of them
now together in the vast universe, there is no time no space, no
dampness, no thunder or lightning or rain. They¡¦ve drowned it out
with a communal silence that is deafening. Bobby¡¦s right hand rises
slowly as if to somehow hold this moment. His fingers play
along Lindsay temple as his head bends down slightly, Lindsay
looks up into his eyes her heart is pounding hard against his, their
conjoined primitive pulsations play off one another, as though
sounding out some ancient ritual mating dance. She moans softly as
his lips braise hers tenderly at first then more arduously as he
feels her ardent response. Her arms encircle his shoulders joyfully.
His fingers cup her neck
pressing her face closer to his. His right hand pushes the wet
dangling hair away from her eyes as he takes leave of her lips to
kiss each precious lid. Moving down her face
scattering light kisses until his lips crush hers hungrily. Lindsay
hands grasp the hair
at the nap of his neck as she returns his impassioned yearning.

A hair-raising clap of thunder jolts Lindsay out of the sweet
embrace. She jumps
back as if she has been scorched all the way to her bones. Her hand
goes to her abandoning lips as if to take his kiss back. She feels
the chilling
blast of cold air as she loses the cocoon of his arms. She has to
pretend
it was all HIM he¡¦s the one who kissed her! And that nothing has
changed.

¡§Linds¡K¡¨ Bobby hates that she is no longer in his arms. He hates the
look
he sees on her face as if she¡¦s done something wrong! It was NEVER
wrong.
And most of all he hates that she is swiping away any trace of him.

¡§Hey¡K we can¡¦t¡K.¡¨ Lindsay is at a loss for words because she wants to
turn back time so damn much.

¡§I¡K.¡¨ Bobby isn¡¦t sure where to go from here. Here being nowhere.

¡§What about you, you¡¦re just as wet and Bobby you tore your shirt!¡¨
Lindsay
scrambles to return to normalcy picking up conversation as if nothing
else
has transpired between. She can¡¦t help but notice his bronze
tantalizing skin peaking through the jagged drenched fabric. She
wishes she could tear it off him and have
her way with him. She knows how wonderful it is to run her fingers
over his muscle laden body.

¡§I¡¦ll be fine¡K¡¨ Bobby knows she isn¡¦t ready he can see the fear
dancing in her eyes. He doesn¡¦t want her running away anymore, not
mentally and sure as hell not physically! But as he sees her
disheveled state more clearly his protective
husbandly side takes the lead. He decides to be a loving patient man,
and
hold that mindless, passion-driven besotted lover he wants to be, at
bay for at least a little while longer. He knows they have to talk.
But God that Kiss! How he¡¦s missed her!

There¡¦s another moment of awkward silence. Again they open their
mouths
and nothing comes. Bobby is afraid they might keep doing this all
night
so he breaks the barriers by being bossy and decisive as usual. He
knows
in some strange way she¡¦ll find comfort in that.

¡§Here at least let me help you, you need to freshen up.¡¨ Bobby
ignores her obvious reluctance to his touch as he propels her gently
into the bathroom, she expects him to turn and leave but to her utter
torment he stays guiding her to sit. She keeps her eyes averted. She
can¡¦t trust herself after that spectacular kiss she¡¦s determined to
keep her eyes averted. she doesn¡¦t dare look into his blue
hypnotizing gaze!  And why the hell isn¡¦t he leaving?

He pulls a towel off the rack gently hooding Lindsay¡¦s wet head with
it, rubbing
her scalp lightly to get the excess rainwater from her hair. She
breaths again
as she feels him remove the towel laying it on the side of the tub.
She is
reeling having his so close within tempting touching inches. She¡¦s
expecting that now he is done drying her hair he will leave her in
peace to finish repairing the storm damage.

But no, Bobby has other ideas as he takes a terry wash cloth rinsing
it thoroughly in water, he wrings it out until nothing is left
dripping
and to her sheer terror he kneels in front of her, looking deeply
into her eyes. Her lips scream to her longing to resume the kissing,
her
mind spins as she fights the urge to obey them. She swallows but
the tightness in her throat doesn¡¦t disappear.
She reaches her hand out expecting him to give her the wash cloth, and
once he does she fully intends to make an excuse for privacy.

He ignores the extended hand, preferring to finish what he¡¦s started.
All thoughts of making excuses fly away as Lindsay feels the side of
his palm resting tenderly against her cheek. He wordlessly begins to
wipe all the black smears and smudges from her face. She sits as
still as she can afraid if she moves it will only be incentive for
her to end the charade and fall helplessly into his arms.

The snapping thunder does nothing to calm her nerves The hand holding
the wash
cloth pauses its mission for a moment. This is worse. She feels his
eyes
staring, she can hear his heart beating he¡¦s so damn close!

She sits statue still as his left fingers gently brushes a few damp
tendrils that have
fallen over her eyes. Her throat is on fire with the effort NOT to
look into his eyes or react to anything he does.

Bobby right hand clutches the warm cloth reluctantly. He would love
to purify her
face with his touch, letting his fingers saunter over her silky skin
in a worshiping trail of reverence. But he knows she isn¡¦t ready. He
can see the tension in her shoulders, he can see the glittering
hesitation in her eyes. He knows she¡¦s been fighting with
herself all along. And now he wants to take the anguish away and
replace
it with truth and peace. So as he continues to lovingly wash off each
smudgy eyelid
he whispers softly to her. She has to know everything is going to be
fine now. He wants
to take all the fears away.

¡§I know Lindsay-I know everything.¡¨ Bobby¡¦s eyes embrace hers
reassuringly.

Lindsay¡¦s mind can barely register the words because Bobby has
dropped the
cloth to the floor. The back of his fingers eagerly take its place
fondly stroking her cheek.
¡§It¡¦s going to be the way it¡¦s supposed to be now.¡¨


The light bulbs flicker slightly in response to the storm. Lindsay
been
in this situation with him before, and she knows what happens when
lights go out suddenly. She gets jumpy and when she jumps it¡¦s always
been right into his waiting arms. She can¡¦t! She can¡¦t afford to have
him
touch her this way. She can¡¦t keep denying his amorous advances. It¡¦s
always
been this way when he¡¦s this close sensibility takes flight and
coherent thoughts die a quick and painless death as she succumbs to
his every desire. She has to stop this NOW!

¡§Lindsay are you hearing me? I said I know!¡¨ Bobby wonders why she
hasn¡¦t
responded.

¡§You¡¦re right! I should get out of these wet clothes!¡¨ Lindsay says
determined not to
let this happen. She feels it happening she can¡¦t ask him what he
knows.
She doesn¡¦t want to know! And above all HE cannot touch her again! But
he is touching her! His fingers are fondling her neck now. Oh it
feels-so-she can¡¦t
move, as much as she wants to she feels as if she fallen under his
spell.
She is weakening by the second. ¡§I have to get out of these wet
clothes!¡¨
Her voice is trembling.

¡§Just sit still, I¡¦m not finished.¡¨ His tone is promisingly sexy.

¡§I can¡¦t!¡¨ I have to find something to wear! I¡¦m really getting
cold!¡¨ Lindsay
lies through her teeth because in truth she¡¦s more like blown glass,
molten,
sizzling and ready to become the willing subject of the artist¡¦s
desires.

¡§Lindsay, you need-¡§ Bobby feels her struggling emotions.

¡§I need!¡¨ Lindsay is horrified because she nearly says the
forbidden ¡¥You¡¦
her heart is drumming madly as she begins to shake her head in furious
denial. ¡§Clothes I need dry clothes!¡¨

¡§You can¡¦t go into our bedroom¡K he pauses as he says the ¡§our¡¨
there¡¦s too much
broken glass everywhere and you could get cut.¡¨

¡§I need to find something to wear!¡¨ Lindsay insists.

¡§No. Not yet. We need to talk. Lindsay.¡¨

It takes everything in her logical mind to propel herself away from
his
touch away from the capitulation he is about to invoke. She jumps up
skittishly
nearly sending him sprawling across the tiled floor.

¡§I¡¦m going to get out of these clothes!¡¨ She runs to the guest bedroom
closet desperate for the mechanical distraction of a mundane task.
Anything she can do
to take her mind off Bobby¡¦s enticingly close presence

Lindsay rushes into the guest bedroom hoping she¡¦s stopped Bobby
enough to get a good lead. She yanks the armoire open blindly. Her
mouth falls
open as she stares at the masculine clothing hanging in the wardrobe.
Great! EVERYTHING is BOBBYS! His extra clothing that didn¡¦t¡¦ fit into
their joint closet. They¡¦d kept an extra wardrobe here just for
convenience, so they could take off at
a moments notice from Boston for those treasured but too few
weekend get-a-ways. He¡¦d moaned and groaned about sacrificing all
his closet space for her. So it¡¦s her fault. Here they are, right
where she ordered him to put them. She has no choice but to wear
them. Someone must be having a good laugh about now. She figures it¡¦s
the same someone who sent the thunderstorm to taunt her, today of all
DAYS!

Bobby has managed to recover from her harried escape. He
walks slowly and purposefully towards the closet and his wife.

¡§Anything your size?¡¨ His voice is hardened because he is getting
really fed up with her skittish behavior. This is HIM for God¡¦s sakes
he¡¦s her husband what in the hell is she afraid of?

¡§I¡¦m going borrow these.¡¨ she grabs for an oversized pair of
of his black silk pajamas. Before he can even
get near her she¡¦s skedaddled back into the bathroom. The door slams
squarely in his face. He gives up throwing his hands to heaven then
sighing deeply as they fall heavily to his side. She won¡¦t be going
anywhere
in the storm and if she needs some time to sort out her emotions
he¡¦ll give it to her. But NOT for much longer!

¡§Lindsay I¡¦m going to change too, I¡¦ll makes some tea, see if threes
something to eat, meet me downstairs¡K¡¨ Bobby orders.

Her faint but acquiescent answer assures him she will
be there in a little while.

Lindsay combs through the tangled hair as though she is sorting
through the mess she¡¦s made of everything in her life.
She ignores the scalp pain she¡¦s self-inflicting. He knows.
What does he know? Thanks to her many lies there are hundreds
of things he could know. She isn¡¦t sure. Maybe she read more into
his words than she should have, maybe he knows she lost her rings?
NO! How could he know that? He couldn¡¦t. And what in the HELL
will she do without them? What if they are blown away, off the roof
entirely, so far away that she¡¦ll never recover them? If she¡¦d have
told him he would have gotten
them for her. But she just couldn¡¦t tell him. He would know instantly
that recovering her rings meant she still cared about what
they represented way too much! They would be a dead
give away. A revealing donation she couldn¡¦t afford to make.

She takes a good hard look at her pale and confused face, the mirrors
reflection only reminds her, he is waiting. He loves her to wear his
clothing.  Bobby always pretended to be annoyed anytime she¡¦d try to
secretly snatch a piece away
for herself. But he really enjoyed it. He delighted in relieving her
of the oversize garments because as he whispered so many times
disrobing her was one of his favorite sports.

She can¡¦t be his recreation anymore. Even being that now would be
better
than having nothing. She remembers when it hurt like hell to be
referred to as
his recreation. They¡¦d come so far from that. She can¡¦t even believe
sometimes
they are the same two people. They¡¦ve changed so much, in so many
ways,
why hadn¡¦t they just outgrown one another? Then it would have been
so much easier. But with them the bond was too strong the ties too
woven
and intertwined to ever be completely broken. But she HAD broken
them. She has
to remind herself that she had single-handedly taken a figurative
chain saw
to those ties and they no longer existed. Why the HELL didn¡¦t Bobby
react
the way she expected him too. She had done everything humanly possible
to alienate him forever. And where is he? HERE! He didn¡¦t seem to
get that he is supposed to HATE her by now. And on top of that he says
he knows!¡¨ She avoided acknowledging his words but she heard them
LOUD and Clear.

What else could the ¡¥he knows be¡¦ maybe he just said it because of
the kiss. Maybe he¡¦s telling her from that one electrifying moment
they
shared, that he knows she wants him as much as ever. She¡¦s never
wanted him more.

She touches her pouting lips, they are not happy with her for ending
that
oh-so-glorious kiss. She can¡¦t believe she allowed it to happen, and
she knows
Bobby when they share a kiss in times of separation he¡¦s always
harped on
it later, wanting to know why it happened and if it would, could or
should
be happening again. Her mind drifts back to the Pearson trial kiss,
that
moment neither of them anticipated but both of them sub-consciously
orchestrated. Neither of them said a word at the time, but weeks
later, he was doing his usual cross-examination of the possibility it
was more than a kiss. She has no doubt he will be repeating that
pattern downstairs. She takes a deep cleansing breath, letting it out
in a long sad blow.

Okay Lindsay get a grip. Go down there and let him know NOTHING
has changed. The kiss was just a knee jerk reaction to the storm.  NO
matter what he thinks he knows, he knows nothing unless you tell
him! ¡§And you¡¦re NOT going to!¡¨ She adds out loud straightening her
shoulders ready to get her mission accomplished
once again like a good, obedient soldier should.

ENCORE With a TOUCH OF SOUL Part 29

Disclaimer: You know what it means.

Ok and I gave up using … etceteras marks because the message board
puts all kinds of other symbols, so there are dashes in between where
etceteras marks would be in the dialogue I hope that works! Anyway
its long and hopefully again worth your wait!

Thanks for letting me know you are still enjoying this by some
miracle after
all this time!  I appreciate all the sweet support!
&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby is speeding he knows it, but he doesn't give a damn. He is
about half way
there. His mind is conflicted and racing, his heart is palpitating
with the excitement and
and anticipation of finding her at last! What in the hell was she
thinking!
He goes between euphoric happiness and irritated annoyance. HOW DARE
she unilaterally decided what was best for him again! DAMN! Why
in the HELL would she put him through this for a STUPID JOB!

What happened to open, honest communication? Okay, so he wasn't
open and honest about the judge's committee. But he had his reasons!
A little reasonable voice inside his head (he has finally taken to
listening
to lately) reminds him she had hers too. He smiles as he
remembers again sharing his dreams with her. His emotions are
are like a seesaw. One minute he is overcome with elation and the next
he can't believe she'd run away from him again. He becomes
furious with her for having done all this to protect him. He didn't
need
protecting! He needed her! She's all he's ever needed.

At least he knows she is still there he called Claire as soon as he
started out.
No sense in behaving foolishly and not double-checking his instincts,
unlike
a bunch of his so-called-friends back in Boston. But he knows they
only
had his welfare at heart so some day after he has harassed them
mercilessly about their mistake, especially HELEN, he will forgive
them
and even thank them.

He smiles broadly, as he thinks about his conversation with Claire.
He knows
she is as loyal as Sam but much more likely to spill the truth because
she has that innate sense of when it's okay to dishonor your word
that Sam
does not. He was glad Claire is the one who answered his call. The
last
thing he wanted was another `chicken analogy' from Sam. He laughs
aloud
as he recalls the exchange word for word.

`Claire it's Bobby.'

`Yeah I'm fine, listen I need you to answer a question. I need a
straight answer
and I need it NOW!'

`Sure Bobby what is it?' Claire's voice had sounded hopeful.

`DO YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER HAD OR RAISED ANY CHICKENS, HENS,
or ROOSTERS?' Bobby asked it doing his best not to sound like a
lawyer but failed miserably.

Claire's triumphant laughter is still ringing in his ears.

`TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!' She had exclaimed.

`Yeah well, YOUR husband is one strange man!"

`I know strange and wonderful, as is your wife.' She had teased
apparently feeling free to
drop a few more hints.

`Tell me is the hen hanging out with the chick at your place?' Bobby
asked
deciding its kind of fun to sound crazy sometimes. He'd never admit
that to Sam.

`Well no, the chick is with me the Hen chose another Hen House for
the night
but I think she definitely plans to flee the coop tomorrow morning.'

`Well I think she'll be changing that flight plan if her ROOSTER has
anything
to say about it!' Bobby had happily informed Claire.

`Bobby, you're going to tease Sam forever about this aren't you?'

"Ohhhhhhh Yeah! And a day!' Bobby admitted coming up with all kinds
of torture for
Claire's poor unsuspecting husband.

`Good he deserves it! I've never heard such a lame analogy in all my
life.' Claire
laughed along with Bobby. It felt so good to feel free to laugh again
about anything.

`Bobby do you want us to let her know you're on your way?" Claire
offered.

`OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You leave this to me!' Bobby
ordered relishing the thrill of surprise. Yes, this is one time
Lindsay Dole
needed to be taught a lesson about giving him up, for some greater
purpose.
The first time she'd done it was so Helen could have him, like he ever
really wanted her! And now she's doing it all over again to make sure
he gets
a seat on the bench! Only God knows what she'd relinquish him for
next! No way is this going to happen ever again! He intended on
getting this through her thick skull once and for all!

`Bobby go easy on her, whatever has happened I know that hen is just
as in love with you as she's always been.' Claire said it so assuredly
that it brought a contented smile to Bobby's face. He can hardly wait
to get there.

`I love her too, just as much as- I need to tell her.' Bobby frowned
because
somehow he had failed to make her believe it once again.

`I'm so happy this is the way it's supposed to be!' Claire sounded a
little teary.

`Claire, from your mouth to God's ear!' Bobby had agreed.

`Oh and Bobby the weather forecast isn't good so drive carefully
there's rain and thunderstorms predicted. By the way, I knew you'd
come.'
Claire had said letting him know her intuition was healthy as ever.

`Somehow that doesn't surprise me!' Bobby had experienced many
of Claire's moments of clairvoyance he knew better than to challenge
anything she said. `I'll see you soon Claire, but first I'm going to
find my wife. Bobby Jr. is doing okay?' He asked suddenly longing to
hug his boy.

`He'll being doing great once his thick-headed parents reunite!'
Claire
had never been one to spare Bobby any truths.

`Yeah, Me too!  Bye.'

Bobby smiled again grinning like a maniac as he recalled the whole
conversation for about the tenth time. He'd remembered to phone Bec
too, asking her to please rent
a mini-van for Ellenor while he was away. He had no intention of
rushing this
reunion. He wanted it to last a lifetime, and no matter what it took
he wasn't
leaving without his wife and son by his side. If he had to pay for
the mini-van
rental for a month it would be chicken feed compared- Bobby can't
believe how easily
chickens infiltrate your mind. He smiles trying to envision the look
on Lindsay face
when she sees him show up. He's can't wait to have her stammering and
stuttering
and trying to come up with a defense for her lapse of rational
thinking. He will delight
in teasing the hell out of her before he lets her off the hook this
time.

His thoughts take a more serious turn as he remembers it won't be all
fun
and games. NO. There's been a great deal misunderstanding that have
caused needless pain and suffering for them both. He's had the worst
time of his life this last few weeks and he doesn't intend to ever
repeat
the experience. He knows they are going to have to come to terms with
Ross
and the ramifications of her relationship with him. Ross loved
Lindsay, and
she may have had feelings. He doesn't want to go there. But he can't
quite
understand how she opened up to Ross so completely, Lindsay had been
cautious with new acquaintances, a background check wouldn't have
satisfied her doubt. She'd been through so much, who could blame her?


She had to protect herself, and he understood why. But with Ross she
let
all her guards down. Why would she do that, if she didn't care for
him at
least a little? He knows Ross's betrayal had been devastating to her,
he'd been
there to bandage the wounds. She denied loving Ross, and maybe he
believes
she doesn't, but there was something there. Lindsay would never have
turned to Ross and
confided as she had if there wasn't. He knows he should just
wait and talk to her, but his mind has become a masterful torture
chamber
lately, and he can't seem to stop it from laying on that bed of nails
even now.

Dr. Ash- He chuckles when he thinks of her appearing out of no where
with the
others to rescue him. He knows how lucky he and Lindsay were to find
her.
He wonders if she is feeling the same way after today.

Which one of the office busy-bodies enlisted her help? He guesses
Lucy, or maybe Helen. For all he knew Helen had the same shrink. God
knows she could use one! His thoughts return to the reason why he
thought of his therapist. Dr Ash told him he had
to be ready to forgive Lindsay for the infidelity. His mind accepts
it, and
understands it, but his heart is another story. It hurt like HELL!
Tears zing
his eyes and he wipes them away preferring the road not to go blurry
while
he's driving. He will have to talk to her about it. He has to find a
way
for it NOT to matter and mean it forever. He can't go throwing it in
her
face all the time. He knows all too well how difficult it is to hear
about
your past indiscretions every time you turn around. And who is he
NOT to forgive Lindsay after what he had done. But his devil's
advocate
reasoning goes into overdrive on this point, because he and Lindsay
were
as far apart as two hardly married people can get when he stupidly
cheated.

He's NOT making excuses. He shouldn't have done it period! But that
rebel of a male chauvinist pig still residing deep inside is having a
hard time saying what Lindsay'd done was the same thing. They had
RECONCILED! They were ready to tell
their son! They were planning on buying a house! They even talked
about having
another child!

They were having the time of their live, planning, and dreaming about
everything.
It was like falling in love all over again. He'd put his heart, his
soul, and his life in her hands. He trusted her NOT to stomp all over
it. But she did. And even in her great scheme of altruistic inanity
he doesn't see ANY reason why she chose to sleep with Ross! She
couldn't have done it just to prove to him she didn't want to be with
him. Why the HELL did she do it? He needs answers. He needs to
understand her motivation and above all he needs to know there are NO
residual feelings for Ross. He can't live
with that.

YES HE CAN! He hits the steering wheel so hard he half expects the
airbags
to come crashing over him.

He has about a half hour to go. He damn well better reconcile his
feelings on the
subject before he sees Lindsay. Ross's involvement with Lindsay isn't
going to stop him.
Ross seemed to have given up on securing Lindsay's love, otherwise
he'd never
been in that court room encouraging Bobby, to believe in his wife's
loyalty.
He knows he has to stop these insane waves of jealousy whenever he
thinks of Ross.
He knows Ross loves Lindsay, ironically he understands Ross too well.
He knows
what it feels like to think its unrequited love, he knows what its
like to have tasted it
and lose instantly it without warning. He also knows that he would
fight to the
death to win it back. Ross didn't seem to be in a fighting mood? Why
has
he given up so easily, Bobby's thrilled he has, but is it really
because Lindsay never
loved him and he knew it?

He read everything Ross wrote, not on one page were there references
to Lindsay's
conflicted feelings for Ross. And if there ever were feelings on her
part his treachery in writing an unauthorized account of Lindsay's
and Bobby's life must have put an abrupt end to it. She loves him.
She married HIM. She gave up their life for HIM!

But that ONE tape the tape he can't seem to vanquish from his mind is
the
thing that has him still reeling. She made love to Ross, she wanted
him, to
help her forget him. He heard her voice. He heard the desperation in
her
pleas. He heard way more than he ever bargained for. Why? Why had she
done it if she loved him the way he knows now, she still does? They'd
made
love after the whole sordid revelation about Ross. He remembers her
eyes beckoning
his, her lips locking with his, and her arms embracing him hungrily.
He didn't
imagine any of it, no matter what she said in the morning. She loves
him
he knows it, in his soul.

He keeps the little litany going in his head. She LOVES ME! Claire
said it.
Hell Ross even said it today! Why do I doubt it? How can I after
everything
she's done to screw things up for us! He tilts his head fondly
recalling that this
is NOT new behavior and she always had his best interests at heart.
Of course
as soon as he has the generous thoughts of her, the undermining ones
snaked in too.
`She SLEPT with another man, out of the blue, when she was supposed
to be
coming back to YOU! NO! NO! STOP IT!' He can almost hear Dr.
Ash saying `Bobby you've got to get a grip on this now' He talks to
himself out
loud "I have to change the damn tape in my head once and for all! Or
we won't make it back to each other ever!"

He prefers never to think of it again, if that's possible. She'd had
an involvement. NOT an affair. And involvement is the most generous
word he will bestow on it. For him it has to be as though it never
happened. He has to believe NONE of it ever would have if they had
just communicated the way they'd promised to.
Her sleeping with Ross isn't going to prevent him from spending his
life with her. He knows what it's like not to think clearly and make
a mistake you can't ever undo, he'd found that out with Sara. And
he regretted more than anything he's ever done in his life. And there
were plenty of other things to regret. He isn't about to give himself
another REGRET. Losing Lindsay is NOT an option. He wouldn't be
able to live with himself, if he allowed it to happen. No! He won't!


There is no issue they can't overcome, and he's not about to let his
pride get in the way of his own happiness. It doesn't matter now. All
that matters is getting his life back on track and for him that means
being with his wife and his son.

He notices the lightning and rain showers scattered in the distance.
He knows how much Lindsay hated being in thunderstorms.
He remembers holding her soaked body next to his when they were caught
in one outside the courthouse. He loved that day because they were
barely
even speaking when they accidentally met one another, and they
ended up spending the whole drenched evening together. It was magical
then and it will be again. He hopes she hasn't gotten scared being in
the
house alone. He wonders if she'll run into his arms when he walks in
the
door hardly thinking of anything but the fear that propels her. He
sighs as
he pictures the scene until his mind envisions her jumping back out
of his
embrace quickly after forgetting for only a moment she isn't supposed
to fall
there anymore. But she is! That is exactly where he wants her to be!


His mind has another twenty minutes to occupy and he's so keyed up
and nervous all at the same time. So he rewinds the last scene
replaying
it with new and more comical results. He sees it as an old black and
white
old movie rerun without sound the over mellow-dramatic music playing.
Sub titles flashing in bold white letters to fill in the audience
blanks.
He pictures Lindsay as a damsel tied to the train tracks with him
rushing in on a white horse to the rescue. She slaps him as soon as
she is rescued and walks off into the sunset with Ross. No that's not
how its
supposed to go? He shirks that picture out of his mind trying a new
possibility.

Now its some kind of high speed chase like in a Key Stone
cops movie with him chasing her in fast-motion all over the cottage.
They run in and out of doors missing one another until finally he
sees Ross arrive at the front door proclaiming his love he sweeps
Lindsay off her feet, leaving Bobby shocked and heartbroken. Oh this
is going well.

This is what he gets for going to those old movie festivals when he
was in college.

He tries to update the movie selection, preferring a talkie picture.
He lets his mind choose out of its library of subconscious thoughts.
Romeo and Juliet? Where did that come from? They both end
up dead! NO THANKS!

Maybe he should leave the fantasies and focus on something
a little closer to reality.
.
With them it was pretty predictable. First the heart stopping moments
of seeing one another after so much miscommunication and
discombobulating.
After that follows the harsh cross, yelling accusations also normal
for them,
proceeded by quiet hurt silences, punctuated by more screaming,
someone crying,
usually him. He laughs at the image of his joke. And finally,
blissfully,
some whispered words of apology and forgiveness and abracadabra
they are on the same wave length again. And with that wave length
comes
amazingly, passionate heavenly lovemaking. Ten minutes to go. He
smiles and grips the steering wheel tighter trying to calm his
anxious, but happy nerves.
He sees a sprinkle of rain hitting his windshield and turns on the
wipers
for a clearer view as he approaches the one mile marker from
his and Lindsay's cottage.

Only a few more minutes to go, he's got to calm down inside he reaches
for the power knob on the CD player, turning the jazzy trumpet music
up loud
enough to drown out his meandering thoughts
&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay managed to find an almost comfortable way of standing still
for what seemed now like days! She's a sitting duck
for the lightening she dreads is coming. But hey a part of her is
in the house she thinks wryly; her ankle counts doesn't it? She feels
some pain
in her ankle but she thinks it may be sprained not broken. All this
fun for some
damned rings! NO! Not some damn rings, her rings the rings Bobby chose
for her, and only her. She let them go, she let him go! The
the tears she cried earlier had stained her cheeks pulling her mascara
along with them leaving a black smudgy trail. She can only imagine
what she must look like! She isn't relishing seeing her reflection in
a mirror
except for if she had one that would mean she'd be inside and NONE of
this would
be happening.

Her mind drifts to another rainy day in a universe not so long ago.
When she had been at odds with Bobby and she was doing everything
she could to avoid him. So of course fate stepped in and as she took
a step onto the courthouse elevator who appears? He took her breath
away that night as he always did. They'd made a disastrous run
for it, trying to make it to her car, they'd argued they'd yelled
she'd cried and at last she ended up in his arms taking her shelter
where she found the most security. Her heel broke as they
were running through the storm and he carried her to safety. She
remembers
how it felt then all that sexual attraction and tension you feel when
you know
you're in love and you have barely admitted to yourself let alone the
happy
benefactor. She remembers the chill of the rain combined with
electrifying lightening
charged even more by their combustible pairing. They'd been unable to
resist or deny
it. The kisses they shared were jolting and unforgettable. She
remembers the care package she'd received the next day. He called it
a survival kit for future storms, complete with his childhood bear.
She'd since passed him on to Bobby Jr.
She'd loved everything he thought of, but all she ever needed to
survive anything was HIM. She smiles sadly longing for those first
delectable days again.

She can't keep doing this! She shakes herself mentally knowing
her thoughts need to be directed on her current predicament. This
one holds no hope of her Prince coming to the rescue. She'd gladly
welcome this storm if only it did.

At least it was still summer, imagine getting caught out here like
this
in cold weather. The scattered raindrops that fell so far were
warm, the roof was at least cooled by the water, before it had been
hot and sticky, NOT that she was comfortable by any means. She is
damp she is hungry, she is hurt,
she is a complete mess! The only thing that would help now
is if someone… anyone… Claire where are your visions? Can't you hear
me calling out to you? Please someone come! She buries
her head under her hands to try to shield herself from the
latest much louder clap of thunder and its NOT even that
close yet. "Lindsay Dole succumbs to fear of lightning!" She tries to
joke feebly failing at cracking even a slight smile as she faces her
all too possible ending!

"Lindsay LOOK at the bright side, with your foot stuck you can't
fall off the roof!" Yeah she decides nodding her head. "That's
about it for the bright side." She gazes off in the direction of
Sam and Claire's house praying someone will get her mental
pleas of help. She could swear she sees some aunt-like vehicle making
its way towards her friend's home. But to her surprise the image
doesn't
stop it passes their house and is headed directly for hers. "THANK
GOD!"
But what if they are heading further up into the mountains and they
don't see her?
What if she can't get there attention and they just drive by?

She starts waving her arms and screaming her head off hoping to God
they hear something out of the ordinary and stop. But she realizes the
thunderous claps are getting closer and the daylight a little dimmer
and the
chances of being rescued are slimmer than she wants to imagine.

The car is now appearing full size and approaching the driveway. She
takes on long breath and screams at the top of her
lungs "HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She
waves her arms and gestures frantically unsure if she can be seen
because of chimney and angle she is standing at. The car
to her joy stops right in front of the house.

Maybe Sam or Claire got a new one? She's never seen it before
she can only make out that it's a deep blue minivan, the windows are
tinted so with the fading light she can't be sure if there is more
than one person inside it. There
has to be a driver she assures her overwrought mind that she is NOT
hallucinating.
It has to be SOMEONE!

Ok so she here she is standing like an idiot sideways on a roof with
her foot stuck
and her life hanging in the balance. DOES she care who it is!
Well aside from a serial killer she'll take anyone's help at this
point in time. She cranes her neck and tries to stand taller but with
one foot down-there-somewhere she can't quite accomplish that
feat. She holds her breath waiting for the occupant/s to get
out of the car. Who ever it is must have heard her? But if so
why in the hell aren't they out of the car. What if they
just lost their direction and stopped for a moment to read
a map or something? Maybe they didn't hear her at all. She
doubts they could see her as the drove up. She screams again shrilly
and
loudly.
&&&&&&&&
Bobby sits there for a moment with the car running in the driveway.
He needs a moment
to compose his thoughts and to conquer his fears. He sounded a lot
more confident when he was talking to Claire than he actually feels
inside. So much has happened. And so fast, he needs the time to let
it all sink in. The soft sexy melody playing helps to ignite that
over-active imagination once again.

He wonders where she is, will she be in the living room, and will
he see her as he walks through the door, or in the kitchen preparing
dinner, or upstairs taking a nap. What will it feel like to see her
again, now that he knows. He can't just sit here all night! The storm
is getting close and  he'd better get in there in case Lindsay is
dealing with those old fears again. He wonders if she still has
the bear he gave her for that? He smiles when he thinks of how
little-girl-like she gets over that silly bear. Awe that's right she
gave it to Bobby Jr. She would never let Bobby Jr. know she
was afraid of the storms because it would only add to the child's
insecurity. She is the best Mom in the world. He loves watching
her with their son. And now he's about to make sure he
will be able to do that again, twenty-four seven till eternity.

He suddenly has no desire to put it off any longer. Seize the day
or better yet the woman. He reaches for the key with his right hand
while his left hand grasps the handle of the door.
&&&&&&&
Lindsay gasps as she sees the car door open. Joy of JOY! She
hopes its Sam because Claire is pregnant and not likely
to be able to help get her inside right away, she'd have to
call for help, and well she just hopes its Sam.

She waits wide eyed ready to smile for the first time since
this already unfortunate day took a turn for the worst.
What she sees wipes the smile off her face and changes her
hopeful look to one of total despair.

"OH MY GOD! Bobby!" She whispers. Her
heart takes a flying leap as her eyes tear up. He's here. How
right that it's him! And how horribly wrong all at the same time!
She'd know that
image anywhere. His broad shoulders the way he stands… She takes
a deep gulping breath. She can't be unhappy to see him, because
seeing him always brings her a joy she has never known with anyone
else.
Her heart does that old flip flop thing she thought would go years
ago along with the passion. How wrong she'd been, she feels it
more strongly  than ever. She can't imagine it ever waning now.

It's him. He's here, and she's stuck on this roof looking
so ridiculous. She wants to scream out to him a part of her
really does, but another part holds back. She can't! If she lets
him know where she is, he will come, and she will be lost and
at the same time truly found. She was NEVER supposed to be found!

She hears him walking up the steps and the loud clamor of the
screen door shutting hard. She takes a deep breath knowing it's only
a matter of time.
He'll probably go to the kitchen and the check out the rooms
downstairs first. Did Claire and Sam call him? How did he know?
Why is he here? GOD! I thought I was done saying goodbye to him!
She thinks logically, all the while her heart is doing a happy
jig denying she will ever truly bid him farewell.

She feels the rainfall escalate and she is quickly becoming soaked to
the skin
she can't let him know she's there. No matter what!. Thank God she
walked from
Claire's. Sam offered to check her car over for adequate fluid and
tire pressure and he promised to bring it to her first thing in the
morning. So if she stays here she knows Sam will come in the morning.
She can do it. What's one little night out in the rain? She
prefers not to consider one little night exposed to the thunder and
lightening.

But Bobby might stay here. She can't even imagine the torture of
knowing he is in the house all night and that she is right outside
the bedroom. Did he come out of the blue on his own, just to
be alone? If she wasn't so filled with conflicted emotion she'd see
that of course he will figure out she is here, the minute he sees
the broken wine glass scattered on the bedroom carpet, the half-
consumed
bottle of wine, and her cell phone on the dresser, he will know she's
here. But she isn't thinking with her usual logic at all she is only
feeling and wishing.

"LINDSAY!" His voice breaks her distressed confusion. So much
for the theory he came here to be by himself. She shakes her head
dismally. He's here because of her. How did he know where
she was? She knows Claire and Sam would never betray her
confidence.

She sees him entering the bedroom she can only see the top half
of him. But OHHHHHHHHHH what a half!

He knows she is there, the jig is up. There is no use pretending.
She sees him surveying the room as though it's a crime scene. He
picks up
the wine bottle looking through to see how much is left, he sees the
overnight bag she didn't even think of sitting by the door still
unpacked.

"Lindsay!" He calls out again and she can hear the concern in his
voice. "

"LINDSAY!" Please where are you! "He must have seen her cell phone by
now
Yes, he has it in his hand. She sees him pushing the buttons the
odd melodic beeps can be heard only faintly because for the moment
the storm
has abated. She watches seeing his upper torso disappear from
sight, and she knows he has found the broken crystal fragments along
with the wine stains. He stands again the phone clutched to his ear,
and by
the look on his face she knows he's quite agitated.

She can't make out the words he is speaking at all, but she
can almost guess what they are. He shuts the phone quickly surveying
the room once more.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME!" Bobby is scared to death
maybe she was cut by all this glass and she could be bleeding to
death somewhere! He runs into the adjoining bathroom.

She can't tell him. She should she knows she should, she's probably
only
putting off the inevitable because he probably called Claire and now
he
knows she's not with them. He knows her car was never was here. He
will know she is still here somewhere. But her throat closes just as
she is about to call out to him. She can't do it. She's going to ruin
everything.

She sees him run back out of the empty bathroom and exiting the
bedroom.
She can almost picture him taking the stairs two at a time.

She feels the vibration as the front door slams shut.

She sees him run out towards the van and she can here
him screaming her name looking around him frantically
trying to locate her.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME ARE YOU HURT! MY GOD
LINDSAY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Did she try to
walk back to Sam's and Claire's bleeding and pass out somewhere?
He might have missed seeing her because his mind was so preoccupied.
The mere thought that he could have been so careless sends pain
coursing
through his whole body. NO! He's got to find her! What if she's here
though
and NOT on the road! He can't decide what to do first. He's looked
everywhere
inside so she must have headed for Claire's to get help! His hand
goes out to open
the minivan door when suddenly he hears a blissfully unsettling
scream.


She tries to wrench her foot free maybe if she does she can find a way
out of here without him finding her, she could sneak back to Sam's
and Claire's
grab her car and get away before he ever knows. As she gives her foot
one more force filled jerk she screams out in pain, unable to control
the nerve shattering reaction to her latest form of stupidity. That
little
getaway plan has one huge glitch now.

Bobby stops in his tracks. He heard her scream. "LINDSAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'M HERE! IT'S BOBBY! WHERE ARE YOU? LET ME HELP YOU!"

Lindsay hears the choked teary tone of Bobby's pleas and she can't
allow
him to be frightened about her one more second.

"BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yells out as loudly as she can
she can't let him think she's hurt or in danger. That would be too
cruel, and
she's already hurt him enough.

"Lindsay!" His voice rises in hopeful, but anxious concern.

"I'm up HERE!  ON THE ROOF I'm OKAY!" Lindsay yells back feeling like
a complete and total idiot.

"What in the hell are you doing up there?" the relief turns to
agitated
anger instantly. He is unable to even see her.
He moves around tilting his head back walking backwards and trying
hard to figure out which direction to go.

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET HIT BY LIGHTNING!" Lindsay
calls back so relieved to be able to joke about it. That might be
preferable to dealing
with Bobby ONE more time.

Bobby doesn't voice his thought that a lightning strike will
be mild compared to his wrath once he gets her in his arms. What the
hell is she thinking?
She could have been killed!

"LINDSAY KEEP TALKING I CAN'T SEE YOU!" Bobby instructs her.
"HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"JUST COME AND GET ME I'LL EXPLAIN LATER!" Lindsay
wonders why in the hell he's still outside. Why doesn't Bobby realize
that to get to her he'll need to come out the window too?  She needs
to be INSIDE NOW!

"You're not in any danger of falling?" He asked making certain she is
safe.

"NO! But I'm ready to get back inside!" She assures him.

"And your fine, NOT cut, bleeding or anything?" Bobby asks
mysteriously.

"Yes, Bobby I told you I'm okay." She doesn't want to tell him about
her
foot yet he'll see for himself and this is embarrassing enough as it
is.

"YOU HAVE TO COME IN TO GET ME INSIDE! I don't
see our ladder anywhere I think Sam must have borrowed it again."
She'd
looked for it earlier,  but quickly came to the realization even if
it was there, someone would have to be able to deliver it to her for
it to be of any use. "YOU HAVE TO GET ME FROM INSIDE!" Lindsay
directs him again fully expecting his immediate cooperation.

"NO!" Bobby yells back and at last he has found a view of her precious
but maddening head. He'd be worried but she's assured him she
is in no immediate danger. He'd been afraid his arrival might scare
her off, so this
is actually working out better than he ever expected.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?" Lindsay calls back unable to believe
the stubborn refusal in his voice.

"JUST WHAT I SAID! NO!" Bobby informs her folding both
arms on his chest.

"BOBBY! DON'T joke around with me! I need to get off this
DAMN ROOF NOW! Can't YOU hear the thunder, I can see
lightening heading this way too!" Lindsay voice isn't hiding her fear
too well.

For a split second Bobby nearly takes pity on her. But this situation
is almost too good to be true.
"You sat on the window ledge again didn't you, like I've told
YOU NOT TO DO A THOUSAND TIMES?" Bobby sounds like
a weary worn dad scolding a mischievous child. "And you didn't
shimmy the window open either did you?" Bobby's been through this
frustration with her before. He's often found Lindsay daydreaming on
the window
ledge and insisted she put a piece of wood in to hold the window
steady. He's warned her and warned her! He's even had her get
up momentarily so he can do the task for her. He swore to her many
times that there were
some parts of the old cottage that were haunted and that the bedroom
window was
definitely one!

"Bobby I can explain what happened but GET ME OFF THIS ROOF!"
She's NOT about to admit her error in judgment to him. She had to
retain some dignity here. As much as you can have when you're in her
ridiculous shoes or shoe as the case may be.

"NO, Sorry Lindsay! Bobby takes a look at his watch to emphasize his
point. "the worst of the  storm is about half hour away and we have
about that much time `till dark and well I have a few questions I'd
like answers too, and uh…the way I see it I'm in a perfect position
to get them. Now, you, getting what it is you want? Not so much!" He
jokes with her as he always had delighting in a little sidebar
bantering along the way. "So, what will it be? Are you going to
answer my questions or are you enjoying the view too much?" Bobby
smiles wickedly it's good to have upper hand.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Lindsay's growl thunders
down over his head and if LOOKS could kill well her eyes
would be the  kryptonite flattening her not so super man
into a pile of helpless putty. She smiles very satisfied with the
image of Bobby magically being turned into a moldable object, with
both her hands scooping him up eager and willing to do the job.

"NO I think I'm perfectly sane, no thanks to YOU!" Bobby shouts.
He's still just a little angry with her, okay more than a little. She
had
driven him just about crazy these last few weeks.

Lindsay still won't give in and tell him that she has one foot stuck
in
the house because well he's already making this already totally
humiliating experience worse as ONLY Bobby knows how to do.

"GET ME DOWN BOBBY DONNELL OR I'LL!"

"YOU'LL what? Bobby chuckles "I don't think you're in any
position to make threats. "Unless of course you're planning
to take the short way down and land on me?"

"DON'T TEMPT ME!" Lindsay calls back.

"ARE you ready to cry UNCLE yet? I bet it's YOUR finger that's
feeling a bit
twisted now isn't it MS. DOLE!" He can't resist calling her that just
as
he had in those first days. And the finger twisting altercations he'd
repeatedly
lost to her, were about to be made up to him in ONE major twist.
"Cry Uncle" He shouts smiling a little more as his shirt is becoming
thoroughly
spattered with raindrops.  He'd whined at her all the time that one
of his
poor fingers remains crooked to this day from her over-twisting
machinations.

"It's not my finger you moron it's my foot!" Lindsay grumbles under
her breath. She's ready to wring his twisted neck! She forgets
she is not exactly at the best advantage to be name calling.
"Bobby you're acting like an ass! GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"
Lindsay orders as if she's still wearing the pants in the family.

"We need to talk! I have questions Lindsay!" Bobby calmly
replies tearing the pants right off her.

A huge clap of rolling thunder drowns out Bobby's insufferable
laughter.

A tear slips down Lindsay's cheek. "OKAY OKAY ask your
damn questions so I can get the HELL OFF THIS ROOF
AND GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!" she screams wondering
how much longer their voices will last.

"GOOD I thought you'd see things my way."

"Bobby just come rescue me I promise I'll answer anything you ask
just please!" Her voice ends on a gulping sob.

"Lindsay are you crying?" Bobby's pleasure quickly vanishes
as he hears the mournful plea of her voice. He finally senses
she is hurt after all. Something is wrong. Of course it is you
dummy why would she be on a roof in a storm?

"Lindsay are YOU hurt tell me the truth!" He should have known
better, Lindsay has always put on a brave front even when she
was in labor with her son she called it stupid back pain. He'd
listened
to her then dismissing it as easily as she had, only to find out it
was a tad more when their
son was born on a courtroom floor. His stomach is twisting in knots
as he realizes he could have been wasting precious time to help her.
Damn it why didn't she say so in the first place?

"Yes- maybe-a little- Bobby please-."

Bobby's already halfway up the stairs by the time Lindsay answers.

He runs into their bedroom realizing what he should have figured
out before. That damn window! It had fallen and locked her
outside!

Lindsay watches him run into the bedroom again heading
immediately for the window. She knows he knows that the
window has a mind of its own and he's warned her it's NOT
a safe place to perch that's why the plans were made to put
in French doors and a balcony.

She watches scrunching her face a little half hoping it won't open
because if it betrays her and slides open easily she will be looking
even MORE foolish than she already does.
He shoves at it with all his strength but NO luck. Good she is
relieved
No further feelings of mortification necessary. Of course that means
it won't be
a quick rescue. She strains her neck to survey the progress of the
storm.
The ominous descending grey clouds change her perspective
immediately.
Maybe she wishes the stupid window had opened after all.

Bobby gives up the struggle straining his eyes to pinpoint her
location, the
storm has cast an unusually early dusk. "Lindsay keep talking to me,
where are you out there?"

"I'm in front of you down a ways I can see you!" She calls back. She
knows
what a miracle his being here is. HE came. He always
comes. In every major crisis she's ever had, and there have
been many since she met him, he's been there for her.
She loves that here he is once again. But as happy as it makes
her on one level it devastates her on another.

  Now what does she do, hurt him some more. Does she
accept his help and then show him the door again? How can she
keep doing that? The only thing she really wants is to welcome him
home
with open arms.

The storm is definitely worsening. A deafening crash of thunder
drowns out
what ever Bobby is calling to her.

"Bobby I can't hear YOU!" She screams in between the booming
noises.

"STAY PUT!" HE yells back trying to figure out what the best
way to get to his wife is.

"I can't really do anything else!" She assures him as loudly as
she can.

Bobby goes to the closest room with a larger sized window which
unfortunately is on the opposite side of the house. He tries the
window there but it must have swelled
in the humid summer storm. He can't get it to budge either. He runs
downstairs to the
utility area finding a nice heavy crow bar. If he has to break the
damn thing
to get to his wife to safety he will, gladly. He inserts the bar
under the window sash and
using his foot against the ledge for leverage and his anxious
adrenaline he
is able to get the window to open a sliver, he reinserts the bar again
and this time he is able to pry the whole thing free. He grabs the
emergency flashlight
they keep under all the beds for power outages. Lindsay made sure
they were always prepared for the dreaded summer squalls. He grabs up
the crowbar too
because he has no idea if he needs it or not. At least it might help
keep them
attached on the roof as they make there way back.  As he steps out to
the roof his heart skips a beat because in seconds he will see her up
close and personally. He swallows the lump in his throat and proceeds
carefully to her end of the roof. His sight
is blurred by increasing wind and rain but he trudges on determined
to get his Lady to safety.

"Bobby is that you?" Lindsay asks strangely oblivious to
how ridiculous a question that is.

"Yeah it's me." He's so worried he misses the golden opportunity to
tease her.

"Good." Lindsay says humbly only too willing to take his help.

"Where are you hurt?" Bobby asks wanting to know the extent of her
injuries.

"Uh… I'm not hurt really- it I-" Lindsay sputters wanting to avoid
the embarrassing
admission.

"Lindsay for God's sakes TELL me if you're hurt, I'm almost there."
Bobby assures her
inching his way carefully around the precarious tiles.

"I …MY FOOT IS CAUGHT in-" She cringes as she admits the depth of
her predicament. "It went through some rotten tiles!" She confesses.

"You're not bleeding or anything?" He asks again fearfully. Oh God
why had
he made her wait! He knows what a stubborn mule she can be!

"NO! I don't think so. Nothing's broken that I know of, but I lost my
shoe."

"You and YOUR shoes!" She can hear Bobby laughing with relief. Of
course his jovial reaction only serves to incite that already edgy
mood she's in.

"I'm so glad YOU find this funny!"

He can picture her expression before he even sees her he knows from
her tone
that its got to be the one where she folds both arms stubbornly while
she taps
one foot impatiently.
Of course that might be impossible with only one foot available.

"Well you've got to admit Lindsay you do know how to put your foot in
it now don't
you!" Bobby teases realizing she is not in dire need of help if she
can take the
time to scold him. Yes it's beginning to rain a little harder, and
yes the thunder is closer, but he does still have the home team
advantage, she needs him so she has to be
civil no matter what he says, and she knows it!

He hears her frustrated growl. And for the life of him he can't stop
another
full throated chuckle. "Oh come on now Lindsay surely you can see the
humor in this?"  Bobby's tone is much less concerned than before and
that does NOTHING to calm
Lindsay's frazzled nerves.

"Are you coming? You're going to get me off the roof right?"
Something in Bobby's casual tone is NOT very reassuring.

"Oh Yeah eventually." He answers lazily as if oblivious to her
peril.

"Why aren't you coming?" She asks impatiently.

"Because there are a few things I'd like to know before I get there
Lindsay." The familiar aggravating voice echoes out of the descending
darkness.

"LIKE WHAT?" She is getting wetter and more uncomfortable by the
minute.
"This is NO time to play twenty questions Bobby what is it with you
LAWYERS!"

"You're a lawyer too!" Bobby reminds her snottily

"But I'm NOT the one asking questions out here in a thunderstorm
when MY WIFE HAS HER FOOT CAUGHT IN A ROOF AND IS ABOUT READY TO
SCREAM!"

"Lindsay you are screaming." Bobby calmly replies. He loves that she
referred to him in a round-about way as her husband.

"THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I'm GOING TO DO WHEN I
GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

"Ah promises, promises!" Bobby responds.

"Bobby Donnell what is it going to take to get me off this roof!"

He smiles as he envisions a delectable version of what it would
take for him to always let her have her way. He sees her in the peach
gown
beckoning to him with her smoky blue eyes one silky strap falling
off her shoulder- He suddenly brings himself back to the moment at
hand as his foot slips a little on a roof tile. The last thing he
needs to do is make another hole in the roof. because he fully
intends to rescue his damsel in distress. He inches closer towards
her
knowing he's not giving up on that enticing fantasy he just had
either.

"Answer the questions!" He orders stubbornly. He's getting
a little soaked too, but he remembers what it feels like to
be wearing wet clothes and becoming suctioned to Lindsay when she's
soft, wet and pliable. It was never what he would call an unpleasant
experience.

"FINE!" Lindsay crosses her already cross arms.

Bobby magically appears like a long awaited vision. Hearing his voice
had
calmed her internally. But seeing him affects her in a whole
different way. The flashlight provides enough luminosity to see his
face, and looking into his eyes she knows she will always have these
silly butterflies at the mere sight of him. It takes her breath away.
And the instant relief she feels at actually having him within arms
reach sends a hot/cold shiver up her back.

They stand there just staring in that way they always had, whenever
things
weren't quite right between them. It only took a look to calm the
waters at
least for the moment. It happened that way every time.
Their longing eyes cutting through the shadows seeing deep into one
another's souls.
That was the look they shared now. It was like the day in the office
when
Lindsay told him she missed him, and she missed being held by him.
They were two star-crossed lovers unable to speak words of devotion.
But they could always see it, in those gazing fiery exchanges that
filled the distance between them closing it and extinguishing it
completely. A mere glance was all it ever took. The room could be
crowded with strangers but their eyes would seek mutual sustenance. A
small secret shared smile played across the distance and wordlessly
they'd make their way towards one another. That spark was still very
much alive and cracking more loudly than the storm.

Bobby returns to reality when he hears the nearing thunder and
registers the menacing streak of jagged lightning crisscrossing the
sky. It's a little too close for comfort.

He kneels down carefully, quickly assessing the trapped foot with the
flashlight. She feels
his hand touching the tip of one of her toes and the familiar goose
bump
verifications of his touch send zigzagging chills up her back.  He
works
wordlessly straining to move something back from around her ankle
using the
crow bar to aide his work. Finally he stands up the flashing
lightening illuminates his wet drizzly face.

Lindsay's heart feels as though it's been the rope in a tug-of-war.
He holds out his arms ready to steady her as he orders her to pull
her once captive limb free. She tugs gently afraid to incite further
pain, and her foot magically releases itself from the hole. She
wasn't expecting such instantaneous emancipation. The sudden result
throws her off balance capitulating her directly into his waiting
arms.

He holds on tightly to steady her, the electricity that ignites at
the smallest touch brings
a lump to Bobby's throat, he swallow hard, trying to control his
reaction to her proximity Caressing her in any form always reduced
him into some kind of helpless besotted idiot.
This time was even worse than usual because he hadn't been sure even
a day ago
he would ever get to hold her again. They stand that way for several
seconds
taking shelter the deafening crackling thunder surrounding them.

She closes her eyes settling her head against his chest. The feel of
his
body against her feels so right and so perfect, this is what she
longed for
this is all she ever needs.

Bobby leans his cheek against her beloved drenched hair, and he
wishes there
was a way to bypass everything else, but this, all that he wants is
in his arms.
He wants to go on holding her forever.

As the weathers wrath subsides for a moment she realizes she isn't
where she
needs to be at all. This will NOT help her accomplish anything! The
rate she's going they won't make it into the house before they've
torn one another's clothing off.

She quickly and reluctantly separates her body from his. She tries to
put some
weight on the once imprisoned leg. It's not as bad as she thought it
would be,
it didn't feel sprained; after all it must have been awkward angle
and being held
still for so long, it feels numb; it probably went to sleep when
it had nothing better to do.

"Is it okay?" Bobby asks ready to snatch her back into his arms if
necessary.
He's a little sad she didn't stay there. But a part of him is still
angry with her
because she'd been foolish and careless with her life and by doing so
endangered his as well! And his thinking has NOTHING to do with the
roof, or the damn storm.

"Yeah, not even sprained after all."  Lindsay admits embarrassed again
by this silly situation.

"Hmmmmmmmp!" Bobby grumbles as his more irate side wins over his
zealous heart.

He grabs her hand roughly guiding her as the ascend to a higher spot
on the roof
an areas offering a little more protection near their bedroom
window. The light shining from inside the room makes it easier to see
one another, but not easier to face one another. Bobby drops her hand
as if the forced contact has burned his.

They have a little stare down again now as each one sizes up the
situation.
Lindsay can tell she won't be winning this round by the angry spark
in Bobby's eyes. "WHAT!" Lindsay gruff voice belies her happiness
at being anywhere with him again, even if it is on this damn roof! The
flashlight glow combined with the intermittent lightning angry face
appear a little more intimidating than usual.

"WHAT! What in the HELL were you thinking running away like this?"
Bobby is letting the livid side of him take over. Never mind they
are on a roof in the near dark during a thunderstorm that has
surprisingly
taken a quiet turn which is nice because now he doesn't have
to keep shouting, his voice is already raspy from the yelling he did
on the ground. "You ran away again Lindsay!"

"I didn't run away, I just needed to GET away for a few days."
Lindsay explains her own voice getting prickly. She wanted comfort
NOT interrogation. What is he thinking keeping her out here like this!

"LIAR!" Comes back his clipped response.

"I'm NOT lying! Please Bobby get me inside!
I've been out here for hours!" Lindsay's voice holds an uncertain
wobbly
desperation but Bobby isn't giving in that easily. He longs
to shorten the fighting time and get to the all important
pleasurably passionate conclusion.

Lindsay doesn't want to admit the catastrophe her get away has turned
into.

"Lindsay You were running away again! Damn it! ADMIT IT!"

"I'm entitled to go on vacation just like anyone else!" Lindsay
arms unfold then refold in stubborn defiance.

"Yeah and you take OUR son without ONE word to me!" Bobby
snipes back.

"He was only coming this far with me." She explains realizing too
late this only reinforced his theory of her running which of course
is correct
but he doesn't need to know it. "You were supposed to come and get
him." She stops.

"Yeah! Thanks for LETTING me know! You were running from ME! DON'T
lie to me!"

"Okay Bobby if I agree I was on the run will you kindly get your
very charming butt in gear and get me INSIDE!" Lindsay is at
the end of her nerves. This is all too much!

"YES if you admit it I'll get you inside." He promises softening a
little.

"Okay! FINE! You want answers. Be careful what you ask for!
  You won't ever believe that I don't want to be with you
anymore no matter what I say, we keep on falling back into- so I
decided distance was a good idea."

"Don't you know by now that distance is NEVER a good idea for us?"
Bobby asks croaking a little.

She expected his anger. She anticipated his being upset about Bobby
Jr.
But hearing him say "US" as though there still was one was her
undoing.

She wants to cry. Her nerves are raw and her heart is too. Seeing him
here, when she wished so hard that he would be, is surreal. Why does
this keep happening? Why
won't he just let her go? She's so torn in two over good intentions
and letting him go, and wanting him so much it made her teeth hurt!
Lindsay does what any wife would do in this situation she throws the
blame where it belongs squarely on HIS shoulders.

"You know Bobby YOU should have called to get this roof fixed ages
ago! And that blasted WINDOW too!" She puts one hand on her hip. If
anyone saw them now
they wouldn't believe it. They both look like something even a cat
wouldn't want to drag in. Lindsay's finger is pointing at him, her
face
is a charcoal smudged nightmare, her clothing is plastered to her body
and where it's not drenched the shirt looks almost comical with the
billowing air pockets combined with the suctioned transparency. Her
hair is beyond straggly and her voice is on its last legs after all
the yelling and screaming she's done. She's barely holding on to her
composure and so turning on him takes all the energy she has left. In
spite of her woeful condition she feels a little spark ignite inside
her. Arguing with Bobby
again is sheer paradise.

Bobby shakes his head almost fondly. His wife is scolding him
terribly and
as he hears the raspy accusations and he knows it's because she is not
about to cry. In any crisis when ever she wanted to cry she always
managed
to turn it into anger and accusations. Crying always came after that.
His heart smiles as he goes happily along with the longstanding
routine.

He knows the game he's played it often. "ME! Is your finger broken?
You'd could of called too! Why is it women always expect MEN to take
care of the repairs! You all say you want equality, but everything
that requires
some kind of tool, or ladder is the man's fault! You're as capable as
I am Lindsay!
Isn't that what you've drilled into me for years!"

"You're damned right I am!" Lindsay shouts back. Arguing is something
they do best. They've turned it to an art form over the years.

Bobby's heart feels lighter inside than it has in weeks. Maybe it was
the altitude but he knows it's more than likely the lovely company he
is finally
getting to keep. "Yeah I see that by how well you faired out here!"

"I did JUST fine without YOU! I don't need a man to-" Lindsay stops
lying to him and to herself, she very much needs this man. What
would she have done without him? She never wants to know. But
she already knows and now she has to deny the truth once again.

Bobby senses she is near the crying stage so he gives her a moment
to realize it. Then he launches the next not so vehement attack.

"Are YOU ever going to tell me how YOU ended up out here in the first
place?"
He says it almost jokingly all the while his fingers have made there
way
to her face traveling delightedly up her cheek "My little fickle-
feathered trouble-maker." His tone is soft and tender now and even
with his recrimination she hears the love oozing through.

"I'm not feathered." Her soft protesting murmur causes him to smile
indulgently.

"Awe but you are, according to Sam." Bobby replies softly.

She can't take any of this anymore, she isn't strong
enough to keep up the fight. Bobby's being so incredibly sweet and
she'd been more frightened than she realized up on this damned perch
all alone! And now to have his
hard strong body to lean on, when she thought she'd never experience
this kind of security again was too much. His hands are patting
her back making ready for the usual flood gates to open.

All she can do is bury her face against him and sob her
heart out. "It's okay baby, Awe Lindsay don't cry, you know how
much I hate it when you cry!" Bobby croons softly to her.
Rain is pouring down again beating against his back, and all he wants
to do is shield her from the pelting tirade. He smiles gently holding
her hungrily. His
fingers are curling around her body eager to partake of her softness.
It's all right Lindsay we'll get you inside baby- I'm here, you don't
have to cry."

"Yes I do…" She sobs and gulps and hiccups all at the same time.

"Why?" His soft whisper asks her hoping she will make a full
confession. She
certainly isn't acting as though she doesn't want him here.

"I don't know!" He can feel her body shudder a little as she refuses
to tell him.
He knows she needs to feel the comfort of the great indoors before she
will even be close to telling him what he longs to hear.

He gently puts one arm around her shoulders as he directs the
flashlight straight
ahead. They start to take a few steps towards their destination of
warmth and shelter.

"I can't!" She remembers suddenly what brought her out here in the
first place. She pulls him back refusing to be urged on. Her rings!
She can't just leave them behind now? What does she do? If she tells
him what she came out here after, he'll know why. Any chance of
continuing the subterfuge after revealing that will be useless. She
can't tell him anything about the rings ever. Besides she not going
to ask
him to risk his neck in the middle of a storm. He's already done that
just to rescue
her.

"I lost something out here, that's why I-I was trying to get it
back." Lindsay
tries to shrug it off as unimportant now.

"What did you lose?" Bobby asks feeling a little impatient. He
imagines
it was the cork to the wine or some other stupid thing she could very
well have gone without. The idea of her risking her neck for something
so insignificant stymies him

"It's – I-. never mind it doesn't matter." She finishes lamely her
voice saddened
as she realizes she may never recover them after the storm.

"Okay let's get inside. The weathers going to be getting a LOT worse
before it ends." Bobby promises her, knowing that this prediction
holds
true for them as well.

"Please." Lindsay agrees limping a little on the not too happy foot.

"You have to hold on to me, and follow my lead we'll have to
go around the way I came, from the guest room, its going to be easy,
don't worry
I've got you, we'll take it slow. Just HOLD ON!"

"Bobby"

"Yes?

"Do you think you could come up with ANY other words in crisis
situations
besides those!" Lindsay asked sarcastically.

"Not good huh?"  Bobby returns amicably.

"NO! They're right up there with "HERE WE GO" and "Listen to
YOURSELF!"

Bobby sees the humor because he knows her so well. "Hang On" would
that be a better choice for roofs?"
He asks thoroughly amused as they make there way to safety and warmth.
The bantering helps to take there minds off the escalating storm and
the
steep danger of their shared journey.

"Hardly!" Lindsay snaps, and he can almost see her eyes rolling.

At last they've made it safely up to the guest room window the place
of Bobby's original departure. His arms scoop her up for a moment
helping her descend through the
open window. The floor is wet from the rains unbarred entrance.
Lindsay feels her one-stocking foot squishing into the carpet. She is
trembling but only for a moment because Bobby's hands have draped a
blanket around her shoulders and his fingers clasp
the ends together holding her in a little haven against his chest.

"We need to get you into a hot bath right away!" Bobby informs her
paying no heed to her protests.

"Bobby are you kidding! You want to put me in water during a
lightning storm? I don't
think so!"

"Lindsay nothings going to happen to you, you need to…" Bobby's eyes
take in her bedraggled appearance but all he sees is the utter beauty
that
has always taken his breath away. His eyes gaze into hers and for a
moment
any estrangement disappears. His mouth opens slightly as he searches
for a word any word- but as always when this happens he becomes
speechless and weak kneed. His soaked hair is dribbling down his
cheeks and his eyes glow sparking like awakened embers into hers.

He doesn't wait for her permission he doesn't dare ask. She opens
her mouth to speak, but no words come. It's only the two of them
now together in the vast universe, there is no time no space, no
dampness, no thunder or lightning or rain. They've drowned it out
with a communal silence that is deafening. Bobby's right hand rises
slowly as if to somehow hold this moment. His fingers play
along Lindsay temple as his head bends down slightly, Lindsay
looks up into his eyes her heart is pounding hard against his, their
conjoined primitive pulsations play off one another, as though
sounding out some ancient ritual mating dance. She moans softly as
his lips braise hers tenderly at first then more arduously as he
feels her ardent response. Her arms encircle his shoulders joyfully.
His fingers cup her neck
pressing her face closer to his. His right hand pushes the wet
dangling hair away from her eyes as he takes leave of her lips to
kiss each precious lid. Moving down her face
scattering light kisses until his lips crush hers hungrily. Lindsay
hands grasp the hair
at the nap of his neck as she returns his impassioned yearning.

A hair-raising clap of thunder jolts Lindsay out of the sweet
embrace. She jumps
back as if she has been scorched all the way to her bones. Her hand
goes to her abandoning lips as if to take his kiss back. She feels
the chilling
blast of cold air as she loses the cocoon of his arms. She has to
pretend
it was all HIM he's the one who kissed her! And that nothing has
changed.

"Linds…" Bobby hates that she is no longer in his arms. He hates the
look
he sees on her face as if she's done something wrong! It was NEVER
wrong.
And most of all he hates that she is swiping away any trace of him.

"Hey… we can't…." Lindsay is at a loss for words because she wants to
turn back time so damn much.

"I…." Bobby isn't sure where to go from here. Here being nowhere.

"What about you, you're just as wet and Bobby you tore your shirt!"
Lindsay
scrambles to return to normalcy picking up conversation as if nothing
else
has transpired between. She can't help but notice his bronze
tantalizing skin peaking through the jagged drenched fabric. She
wishes she could tear it off him and have
her way with him. She knows how wonderful it is to run her fingers
over his muscle laden body.

"I'll be fine…" Bobby knows she isn't ready he can see the fear
dancing in her eyes. He doesn't want her running away anymore, not
mentally and sure as hell not physically! But as he sees her
disheveled state more clearly his protective
husbandly side takes the lead. He decides to be a loving patient man,
and
hold that mindless, passion-driven besotted lover he wants to be, at
bay for at least a little while longer. He knows they have to talk.
But God that Kiss! How he's missed her!

There's another moment of awkward silence. Again they open their
mouths
and nothing comes. Bobby is afraid they might keep doing this all
night
so he breaks the barriers by being bossy and decisive as usual. He
knows
in some strange way she'll find comfort in that.

"Here at least let me help you, you need to freshen up." Bobby
ignores her obvious reluctance to his touch as he propels her gently
into the bathroom, she expects him to turn and leave but to her utter
torment he stays guiding her to sit. She keeps her eyes averted. She
can't trust herself after that spectacular kiss she's determined to
keep her eyes averted. she doesn't dare look into his blue
hypnotizing gaze!  And why the hell isn't he leaving?

He pulls a towel off the rack gently hooding Lindsay's wet head with
it, rubbing
her scalp lightly to get the excess rainwater from her hair. She
breaths again
as she feels him remove the towel laying it on the side of the tub.
She is
reeling having his so close within tempting touching inches. She's
expecting that now he is done drying her hair he will leave her in
peace to finish repairing the storm damage.

But no, Bobby has other ideas as he takes a terry wash cloth rinsing
it thoroughly in water, he wrings it out until nothing is left
dripping
and to her sheer terror he kneels in front of her, looking deeply
into her eyes. Her lips scream to her longing to resume the kissing,
her
mind spins as she fights the urge to obey them. She swallows but
the tightness in her throat doesn't disappear.
She reaches her hand out expecting him to give her the wash cloth, and
once he does she fully intends to make an excuse for privacy.

He ignores the extended hand, preferring to finish what he's started.
All thoughts of making excuses fly away as Lindsay feels the side of
his palm resting tenderly against her cheek. He wordlessly begins to
wipe all the black smears and smudges from her face. She sits as
still as she can afraid if she moves it will only be incentive for
her to end the charade and fall helplessly into his arms.

The snapping thunder does nothing to calm her nerves The hand holding
the wash
cloth pauses its mission for a moment. This is worse. She feels his
eyes
staring, she can hear his heart beating he's so damn close!

She sits statue still as his left fingers gently brushes a few damp
tendrils that have
fallen over her eyes. Her throat is on fire with the effort NOT to
look into his eyes or react to anything he does.

Bobby right hand clutches the warm cloth reluctantly. He would love
to purify her
face with his touch, letting his fingers saunter over her silky skin
in a worshiping trail of reverence. But he knows she isn't ready. He
can see the tension in her shoulders, he can see the glittering
hesitation in her eyes. He knows she's been fighting with
herself all along. And now he wants to take the anguish away and
replace
it with truth and peace. So as he continues to lovingly wash off each
smudgy eyelid
he whispers softly to her. She has to know everything is going to be
fine now. He wants
to take all the fears away.

"I know Lindsay-I know everything." Bobby's eyes embrace hers
reassuringly.

Lindsay's mind can barely register the words because Bobby has
dropped the
cloth to the floor. The back of his fingers eagerly take its place
fondly stroking her cheek.
"It's going to be the way it's supposed to be now."


The light bulbs flicker slightly in response to the storm. Lindsay
been
in this situation with him before, and she knows what happens when
lights go out suddenly. She gets jumpy and when she jumps it's always
been right into his waiting arms. She can't! She can't afford to have
him
touch her this way. She can't keep denying his amorous advances. It's
always
been this way when he's this close sensibility takes flight and
coherent thoughts die a quick and painless death as she succumbs to
his every desire. She has to stop this NOW!

"Lindsay are you hearing me? I said I know!" Bobby wonders why she
hasn't
responded.

"You're right! I should get out of these wet clothes!" Lindsay says
determined not to
let this happen. She feels it happening she can't ask him what he
knows.
She doesn't want to know! And above all HE cannot touch her again! But
he is touching her! His fingers are fondling her neck now. Oh it
feels-so-she can't
move, as much as she wants to she feels as if she fallen under his
spell.
She is weakening by the second. "I have to get out of these wet
clothes!"
Her voice is trembling.

"Just sit still, I'm not finished." His tone is promisingly sexy.

"I can't!" I have to find something to wear! I'm really getting
cold!" Lindsay
lies through her teeth because in truth she's more like blown glass,
molten,
sizzling and ready to become the willing subject of the artist's
desires.

"Lindsay, you need-" Bobby feels her struggling emotions.

"I need!" Lindsay is horrified because she nearly says the
forbidden `You'
her heart is drumming madly as she begins to shake her head in furious
denial. "Clothes I need dry clothes!"

"You can't go into our bedroom… he pauses as he says the "our"
there's too much
broken glass everywhere and you could get cut."

"I need to find something to wear!" Lindsay insists.

"No. Not yet. We need to talk. Lindsay."

It takes everything in her logical mind to propel herself away from
his
touch away from the capitulation he is about to invoke. She jumps up
skittishly
nearly sending him sprawling across the tiled floor.

"I'm going to get out of these clothes!" She runs to the guest bedroom
closet desperate for the mechanical distraction of a mundane task.
Anything she can do
to take her mind off Bobby's enticingly close presence

Lindsay rushes into the guest bedroom hoping she's stopped Bobby
enough to get a good lead. She yanks the armoire open blindly. Her
mouth falls
open as she stares at the masculine clothing hanging in the wardrobe.
Great! EVERYTHING is BOBBYS! His extra clothing that didn't' fit into
their joint closet. They'd kept an extra wardrobe here just for
convenience, so they could take off at
a moments notice from Boston for those treasured but too few
weekend get-a-ways. He'd moaned and groaned about sacrificing all
his closet space for her. So it's her fault. Here they are, right
where she ordered him to put them. She has no choice but to wear
them. Someone must be having a good laugh about now. She figures it's
the same someone who sent the thunderstorm to taunt her, today of all
DAYS!

Bobby has managed to recover from her harried escape. He
walks slowly and purposefully towards the closet and his wife.

"Anything your size?" His voice is hardened because he is getting
really fed up with her skittish behavior. This is HIM for God's sakes
he's her husband what in the hell is she afraid of?

"I'm going borrow these." she grabs for an oversized pair of
of his black silk pajamas. Before he can even
get near her she's skedaddled back into the bathroom. The door slams
squarely in his face. He gives up throwing his hands to heaven then
sighing deeply as they fall heavily to his side. She won't be going
anywhere
in the storm and if she needs some time to sort out her emotions
he'll give it to her. But NOT for much longer!

"Lindsay I'm going to change too, I'll makes some tea, see if threes
something to eat, meet me downstairs…" Bobby orders.

Her faint but acquiescent answer assures him she will
be there in a little while.

Lindsay combs through the tangled hair as though she is sorting
through the mess she's made of everything in her life.
She ignores the scalp pain she's self-inflicting. He knows.
What does he know? Thanks to her many lies there are hundreds
of things he could know. She isn't sure. Maybe she read more into
his words than she should have, maybe he knows she lost her rings?
NO! How could he know that? He couldn't. And what in the HELL
will she do without them? What if they are blown away, off the roof
entirely, so far away that she'll never recover them? If she'd have
told him he would have gotten
them for her. But she just couldn't tell him. He would know instantly
that recovering her rings meant she still cared about what
they represented way too much! They would be a dead
give away. A revealing donation she couldn't afford to make.

She takes a good hard look at her pale and confused face, the mirrors
reflection only reminds her, he is waiting. He loves her to wear his
clothing.  Bobby always pretended to be annoyed anytime she'd try to
secretly snatch a piece away
for herself. But he really enjoyed it. He delighted in relieving her
of the oversize garments because as he whispered so many times
disrobing her was one of his favorite sports.

She can't be his recreation anymore. Even being that now would be
better
than having nothing. She remembers when it hurt like hell to be
referred to as
his recreation. They'd come so far from that. She can't even believe
sometimes
they are the same two people. They've changed so much, in so many
ways,
why hadn't they just outgrown one another? Then it would have been
so much easier. But with them the bond was too strong the ties too
woven
and intertwined to ever be completely broken. But she HAD broken
them. She has
to remind herself that she had single-handedly taken a figurative
chain saw
to those ties and they no longer existed. Why the HELL didn't Bobby
react
the way she expected him too. She had done everything humanly possible
to alienate him forever. And where is he? HERE! He didn't seem to
get that he is supposed to HATE her by now. And on top of that he says
he knows!" She avoided acknowledging his words but she heard them
LOUD and Clear.

What else could the `he knows be' maybe he just said it because of
the kiss. Maybe he's telling her from that one electrifying moment
they
shared, that he knows she wants him as much as ever. She's never
wanted him more.

She touches her pouting lips, they are not happy with her for ending
that
oh-so-glorious kiss. She can't believe she allowed it to happen, and
she knows
Bobby when they share a kiss in times of separation he's always
harped on
it later, wanting to know why it happened and if it would, could or
should
be happening again. Her mind drifts back to the Pearson trial kiss,
that
moment neither of them anticipated but both of them sub-consciously
orchestrated. Neither of them said a word at the time, but weeks
later, he was doing his usual cross-examination of the possibility it
was more than a kiss. She has no doubt he will be repeating that
pattern downstairs. She takes a deep cleansing breath, letting it out
in a long sad blow.

Okay Lindsay get a grip. Go down there and let him know NOTHING
has changed. The kiss was just a knee jerk reaction to the storm.  NO
matter what he thinks he knows, he knows nothing unless you tell
him! "And you're NOT going to!" She adds out loud straightening her
shoulders ready to get her mission accomplished
once again like a good, obedient soldier should.

She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
jeans
and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
he's been
running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
style.
  She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
banister.

"I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
open
in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
survey
the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
fingers and
lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"

She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
away as possible, that was the
plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
within her heart.

He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
chairs.
She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.

She sips the tea for courage.

He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
going
to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
into
an admission so be it!

"You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
attack.
"I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!

"Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
that,
bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just  wants to
trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
doesn't EVER want to know what
he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
and sleep.
Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
be bliss
right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
wherever
and however she wanted.

"Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
infiltrated
with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
together again.

"I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
He'll
get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.

"I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring!  I
KNOW
Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
it.

Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
she
hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
family.
NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
anyone
else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
happen!


  Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
of them, namely
him and she can do it again!

"OH yes I do!"

"You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
do!" Lindsay
says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
you know!"
She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"

I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
Don't you
dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
uniquely twisted
way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
she said! After
she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
you and that's what this is about!"


She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
set
of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
it,
penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
of this is useless.
"Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.

"Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.

"IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"

"BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
disrespected by
your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
slung through the mud! I know what
it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
shakes her head backing away a little
"DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
through it all
from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
you to be maligned
in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
judgment from anyone!
They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
you
to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
really are, who YOU'VE always been!"

Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
it's not
the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
NOTHING
more true in his life than her place in his heart.

"Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
roll.

"This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
hold the pain
inside.  "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
distance between them making
sure he is very much in her face.

"I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"

Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.

"Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
know!
You mean everything to me! You are MY life!  Why don't YOU know it!"
Bobby's head shakes in resignation.

"I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
so
hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
dawn.
But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
right thing
for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
fantasy to hell.

"The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
justice
system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
infiltrates every
corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
you!" Lindsay is
determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
your side
remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
way. Lindsay
paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
important to you!"

Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
every
moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
tell her
how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
now!

"IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
may never have come back from!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"

"WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
hands.
He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
him again! At least he's learned
to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
that!

"Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
to NOT be
good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
assault spinning
around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
her eyes.

"I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
IF
anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
her not to believe she's ever been less to him.

"You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
seem
never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.

"Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
regret.


"NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
have it associated with you
if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
unintentional play on words
People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
in a protective gesture.

Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
firmly.
"That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.

"Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
him to deny the truth.

"NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
to vibrate.

Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
"I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.

"Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.

She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
leaving- because
it has to be the way it is."

"NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
Youuuuuu
are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.

"I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.

"Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
again.
"What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
us! We
were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"

"You know the saying Bobby  **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
can't do it."
Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
words.

"YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR  NO's for an answer anymore!"
Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
it all
and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
he would ever know
how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
there
were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
what her mind rationally concluded long ago.

"Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
won't matter once you do that!"

"I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
don't
want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
things
don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
deep quick
breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.

"At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
company. But now-
and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"

"DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"

"NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
thoughts
she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
think
of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
NOT
that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
did,
so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
on the
son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
innocent one in all of this!"

"STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
"You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
fondly.
"And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
just as they did
that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
insecurities.

Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.

"Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
better."

Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
and it totally infuriates Bobby.
"I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"

"I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
someday, you'll see
Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."

"But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
closing arguments
and he isn't about to lose this one!

"It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.

"Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
once and for all out of the picture!

"And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
unmarried,
FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
say will change my mind about that!"

"No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.

"THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
stood right here
in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
together!"
What the hell happened to that!"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
was
wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.

Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
Bobby's
pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
towards her. "I KNOW
how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.

"Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
you,
yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
did that day in the
office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
him again. "But there's
also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
her.

"LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"

"Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
rarely ever
do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"

"NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
her again. They
keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
no matter
what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
continue
the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
surrender.
Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
making it absolutely
impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
words, words she loves hearing.

Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
"I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
little unsure
of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
contract with NO loopholes."

"Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
are aching
with unshed tears.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
did
want to spare you  the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
stupid
uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
almost as much
as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.

"See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
fashion
that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
at all.

"I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.

Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
the irony
in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
own,
without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.

Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
They share
a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
greatest
stumbling blocks.

"You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
pleading.

Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
entertained
there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
inside of her too.

"This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.

"Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
do this! It goes
to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
and bam you're gone!"
Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.

"I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
indecisive about what
the hell to do next.

"There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
you remember HOW disastrous that was?"

Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
truth
here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
afraid.

Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
see
what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
the
one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
gentle.

She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
to be,
but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
at all.
She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
I wouldn't
live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.

Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
taking
full advantage of her vulnerability.

"I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
his quietly spoken reassurances.

"You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
now. She's
failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
best
for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
from her for his own good.

"Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
embracing her waist.

"Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
truth. "I've
turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
anyone
else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
steady. Without
you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
you and our son's too. So know this
if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"

"Bobby I did it all out of."

"-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
informs her
not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
misunderstanding
as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
his
heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.

"And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
drawing closer and closer to hers.

"But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
to be honest
I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
court seat
and I knew up front the committee had reservations."

"I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
but he
holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.

"Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.

"But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
this
to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
like.

"I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
them
and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
testimony. He
meant every loving word.

"I didn't know."

"You didn't ask!"

"You should have said something!" She snarls back.

"HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.

Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.

"How did you find out-I was so careful to-."

"Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
agrees. He
guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
are not exactly off just yet.

"So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
pillow with her free arm.

"Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
came
together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
time) "Judge Hiller
(he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
that you knew about all of it!"  I finally realized what all this
bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
firelight.

"I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
She acknowledges
what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
her. More now
than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
her
great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
was
sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
easy
escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
She whispers
tears glistening in her eyes.

"We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
know that's true."

"I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.

"You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
She does as ordered.

"I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
any kind Lindsay,
if they didn't want you by my side-"

"You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
part
of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
ever if it cost him his dream.

His fingers tighten around hers.
"NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
slightly.

"This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
trees-
and Judge Hiller is-"

"One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
hiding along
the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
Lindsay.

"What is this?"

"It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
Judge Hiller gave it to
me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.

Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.

Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.

"Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"

"Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
blanks hoping
she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.

Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
after
he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
first paragraph unable
to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
He'd hated her then.
How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
hours
later?

"READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
document.

She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
how much he respected her, admired her courage,
how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
because
her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.

"How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
and unshed tears sting.

"Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
her
amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
to
have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
document
will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
public
any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.

"You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
could
have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
for
her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
slides closer to her
while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
His husky voice is just above a whisper.

"Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
it feels to
become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
future.

But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
he's
doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
"OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
springs into his arms in less time than it takes
to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
forehead
more excited about it than he ever was.
She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!

She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
she heard
right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
fully congratulate
him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
his, no THEIR third dream coming true.

Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
voraciously.
Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
hair pulling her head closer and closer as
their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
part lips breathless
and exuberantly happy.

"I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"

He smiles tentatively.

Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
be. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
I win I always think wow
this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.

"About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
this!

"Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
Lindsay."
He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
scared-too
I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
know I can
let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
the people in my
life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
she will be honest with him. And this
has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
express it.
"I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
into that guy I was."

"Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
of her faith.

"I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"

"NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
even a little, you'll
have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
happy
anticipation.

Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.

Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
feel her
presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
she does it,
sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
senses his need
to know she's there.

"I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
But I want
you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."

"Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
thinking." Bobby
grins sheepishly.

"When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
one she'll
never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
wife. She smiles
giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
thinking it, let
alone experiencing it.

"Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
into the courthouse
and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
loves to prolong
the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"

"Yeah… I know!"

"Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
gotten it."

"Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
his arms contentedly.

"She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
really hard
to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
mind
was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
continues with his story.

"All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
and who
the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
Lindsay
he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."

Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.

"I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
at me like she always does. "

"You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.

"Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"

"What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.

She said some really surprising things."

"Like what?"

"Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
finally made
her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
to see Lindsay's
reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
also said I gave
the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
little reminding tease Lindsay's way.

She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
them. "She never
said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
know
there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.

"Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
she isn't
about to give them up without a through perusal.

Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
reading the
final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.

"I know- hard to believe."

"NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
accomplishment.

"So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
approval to have
the confidence he needs.

"I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
grinning widely.

"You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.

"Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
rescue mission.

Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
deeper later.

"Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
entirely
different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
tell you.
I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
when I left was that
I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
this with."

Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
her.

Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
for her. Just as he saved this
haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
obstacles
she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
confidante, her lover, her everything.

"I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
time.

"Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
ashamed
of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
pressured her to use it
in any way publicly.

"You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
reading his mind.

"As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
feel
unworthy another day of their lives.
They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
never return.

As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.

"If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE  I will
take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
edict.

"You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
behavior
she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
everything he thinks he knows.

"I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
were here!"
Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.

He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
space
or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
open their
lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
emulates
every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
moment before his
mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
body.

She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
of his
chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
his lips nibbling her
ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
beating against
the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
to ignite
their aching need within.

"I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
eyes.

She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
beautiful eyes.

"Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
slight change
of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
opposite for weeks.

There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
voraciously  imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
murmuring puppet.

Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
hers
as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
God knows
it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
delectably his.

Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
it, but she feels a little nagging
voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
flesh is weak
and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
down his lips
catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
the invitation greedily.

Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
completely yet.

He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."

She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
shoves the
little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
reassurances of love.

Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
always his.
Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.

Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
trembling, anticipating
ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
her back the returning, piercing, nagging
guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
they
were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
felt, why is he glossing over it as
if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
feels
to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
pretend.

He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
him to act as if it
doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
Ross's
place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
She inflicted
so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
be reeling inside?

Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
widen in guilty
awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
he obeys her wishes.

"Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
into
his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
do to
this delightful interlude.

"What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
about
gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
little boy's
she knows.  He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
of her neck.

"NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
Ross." She
says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
water.

Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.

"I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
little. She
definitely hit an exposed nerve.

"We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
over exposed
in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
revert
to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.

"I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
want this
OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
conversation now!"

"NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
edgewise.

"NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
what's done
is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
other
words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
robe.
`We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
reconciliation
without having total honesty between them.

"You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
she? "Bobby
you and I need to discuss this!"

"No!"
  Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
down inside.

"Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
sooner
this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
promise!" Lindsay
eyes implore his cooperation.

"If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
YOU'RE right
he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
the possibility.

"I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
you think!"

"You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
stomach. Oh God
why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?

"You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
immediately
shot down.

"I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
of death wish for their relationship!

"Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
is
so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
to
imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
daydreams.

"I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
he could put his hands over his ears
he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.

"The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
She
scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
like the vermin
she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
hope.

Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
penchant for lies.
"DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"

Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.

"I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"

"I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.

"I didn't!" Lindsay yells back.

"YOU DID! I not only saw you there like that-. as if it wasn't
enough! I heard IT!" Bobby informs her taking steps to ensure they
are very far apart. The space
between them feels like an empty vortex, that neither of them will
recover from.

"YOU heard it?" Lindsay shakes her head in exasperation and confusion.

"YES I HEARD EVERY DAMN WORD! You pleading with him to-I heard it
all! The kissing, your crying and I heard you Lindsay-" Bobby shakes
his head disgusted he has to relive it all again and again. "I HEARD
YOU BEGGING HIM TO!" He can't
say it, he can't say the damn words. He's been crazy to think he
could get over this
without so much as a blink.

"You couldn't have?" Lindsay asks her mind reeling with the
implications. Her
face is hot with embarrassment. How could he know? She didn't tell
anyone. Would Ross? No what reason would he have to go into such
detail. She feels her skin crawling with the idea that Bobby was
privy to her lowest moments. And she knows how
excruciatingly painful that exposing information would be to
him. "HOW" she asks
dreading his answer.

"ON THE DAMN TAPES ROSS MADE!" Bobby scowls trying
to hide the pain now is useless! Why has she forced this issue and
why in the hell is she lying through her teeth about it now!

"THE TAPES? He taped me that NIGHT!" Lindsay throat chokes as she
realizes the full implications of his treachery, but just as quickly
she registers yet another betrayal. "You were supposed to burn them
and that damned book!" She points her finger at him accusingly. She's
totally ashamed of her behavior
that fated night, and she can't believe Bobby has witnessed it so
intimately. She
also can't believe he didn't follow her wishes and destroy the
blasphemous evidence
against her. "You promised!" She shakes her head as her entire body
fills with fiery
indignation.

"Yeah, well you promised things too, Lindsay! And they didn't seem
to matter that much to you either!"

"You were supposed to get rid of all of it!" Lindsay shakes her head
in disbelief

"Yeah well I didn't!" Bobby hands exclaim his shock. "I wish to
God I had!"

"How could you listen to the private-"!  Lindsay is angry at the
invasion
and the betrayal. She's mortified he heard her that night. She
remembers
being desperate to find a way to let him go. She'd found it all
right.

"I could and I did! You're my wife. You ran away- Ross told me your
actions
and words didn't add up to him and he said you were hiding something!
Dr. Ash
said so too, everyone could see it! We just didn't know what the hell
it was. Ross
said he heard things you said that didn't make sense. He told me to
listen to the tapes- Funny imagine that, another LOVER who can't
figure you out!" Bobby can't resist turning the screw to his own
heart. Maybe he hadn't evolved as much as he thought.

"You had NO right!" Lindsay blushes when she remembers
how desperately and wantonly she behaved that night. She remembers
his reaction when he found her at Ross's apartment after receiving
her cold, heartless good bye message.
She can still feel the welt he left on her neck when he ripped off
the diamond necklace
he'd given her. His look was vicious, as if she was some threat to
him and his
sanity.  She remembers the stinging ache she felt as he
held the broken chain in his hands looking at her with so much
hateful contempt and she saw his anguish when he opened his fist and
dropped the diamond laden necklace to the floor.

She remembers picking it up after he left and how she fell against
the door
after it slammed shut, shaking with grief and longing. She knew he'd
never
forgive her, she was sure he would walk away forever. But he hadn't.
She'd
been so wrong about the way she handled everything! "How could you?
How
could you listen?" Lindsay can't believe he would want to torture
himself
even more.

"I had the right of husband to know what in the hell was going on
with his wife!
I found out plenty on those tapes- and YOUR own spoken words led me to
the truth!" Bobby informs her in a way that keeps her silent.

"I KNOW THE TRUTH LINDSAY SO DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO COVER
IT UP! And if you think it was easy to listen-" Bobby's disillusioned
eyes bore
into her.

"NO you don't know the whole truth!" Lindsay argues ready to battle
as long as this takes. And judging from Bobby's demeanor it won't
be a quick war. She knows how painful his experience was, and her
heart
hammers guiltily.

"Just admit you SLEPT WITH ROSS! I can't take going over and over
this again and again! "ITS DONE! YOU DID IT! MAYBE I DESERVED
IT- I DON'T KNOW WHY-. YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME-BUT I DON'T
CARE LINDSAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK WITHOUT YOU
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING STOP US THIS TIME! I I
want YOU I want US! How in the HELL many ways and TIMES do I have to
prove it to you enough to stop YOUR LIES!" Bobby shouts. "HE WAS YOUR
LOVER
SO NOW THERE I SAID IT LETS JUST GET PAST IT CAN WE PLEASE!" Bobby
has a sinking feeling that the worst is not over yet. "JUST ADMIT IT!
You don't get
to lie to me ANYMORE!"

"I'll NEVER ADMIT IT AS LONG AS I LIVE Bobby because
I DIDN"T DO IT!" Lindsay snarls back.

"I heard you pleading with him to take you to bed!" Bobby snipes.

"YES YOU HEARD ME MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF- and you
heard us kissing-."

"I heard you taking your clothes off!" Bobby's face scrunches
painfully
  his heart aching from the image his words invoke.

"Yes, I was wet- caught in the storm." she laughs humorlessly because
the night was very much like this one. "I went there because
I'd let you go- and I didn't know what else to do."

"Casual sex is always a good answer!" Bobby's voice is deceptively
low.

"You outta know!" Lindsay snaps back wishing she could control her
anger, but his denial in accepting the real truth she offers him now
is nerve wracking.
He's not taking this well, he won't accept that she deceived him in a
whole
different way than he imagined. And she knows either way, he's going
to feel
equally betrayed.


"You really can't let IT go can you Lindsay?" Bobby says hopelessly.
Maybe
she wasn't lying about the Sara part after all. He knows now first
hand
how much he is asking of her to be totally forgiven. Forgiveness
isn't as
easy as she tried to make it look. He knows that now.

"I have-let go Bobby, believe it!  I know what that was, or what it
wasn't! But you won't LISTEN to me about what it wasn't with Ross!"
She wants to scream in frustration.

"Oh I listened to PLENTY!" The lion is roaring now.

Lindsay wants to stamp her feet and tear out her hair, why in the
hell won't
he hear her!
"WE NEVER HAD SEX! WE NEVER MADE LOVE! I never
expected you to show up the way you did! When you did, it seemed
like another opportunity to enforce that I didn't want to be with you
anymore-.I did it because of Judge Hiller's seat - that's why! It was
the day I left you the message remember-.when you came, Ross wasn't
even there-.he was catching a flight. or at least trying to, I was
alone-I had been alone in his bed. LISTEN TO ME BOBBY!" She isn't
lying he can see it in her eyes. She's saying the words but his mind
can't quite wrap around it.

The possibility that Lindsay is finally now telling the truth
and the implications of what that means makes Bobby a little
lightheaded and nauseous.  He recalls that sordid scene in Ross's
apartment
seeing Lindsay in nothing but a robe. Ross's robe. Combining that
encounter
with the moans and fevered pitched utterances on the tapes- but he'd
never found the next part! There was never another tape to solidify
the ending to that scenario
that had played over and over in his head, he always filled in the
missing part, and
it had been nothing but torture to do so. He remembers the betrayal
he felt at knowing
that she'd barely let hours pass from their last sweet interlude
the night before, to her flying into Ross's waiting arms the next day!

He'd been in HELL since that night. It hurt so damn much! After
everything they'd worked for, all the old wounds they'd reopened and
finally
healed. All of that, followed by the earth shattering renewed passion
found here at Laharve. He'd never expected it- her infidelity came
out of nowhere and it killed him. He'd been trying so hard to
understand and to find a way to let it all go.

For whatever reason, she'd chosen to open those wounds again.
But he was just as determined to keep them shut, to find
forgiveness in his heart and soul. He was
prepared to overlook all of it to have her in his arms again.
And now to find out his torment was all for NOTHING! HE can't
believe she would be so cruel to him. He knows he hurt her before
with Sara, but their marriage was near the rocks then. Not like it
was when they came back from their trip. It was like
being newlyweds again! Life was sweet and beautiful and
filled with promise. They were so close to reconciling and to have
revived the
preciously gained trust between them only to have it wrenched away
without warning or plausible explanation. How could she do something
so cold
lying about what happened, torturing him with narrated and self
inflicted pictures
of her ultimate betrayal. Now suddenly it never happened. To say he
is shocked
is understatement personified.

How in the hell could she have the nerve and heartlessness to
do that to him? This can't be about loving him when she
purposely tore his heart out? How could she ever
convince herself she did it to protect him. She hurt the holy
hell out of him! Why take it so damn far! He feels his emotions
exploding as he realizes she's been even more duplicitous than
he ever imagined.

"Are you hearing me Bobby?" Lindsay asks quietly biting
her lip hard as she sees the myriad of pained expressions crossing
his face and shining in his deceived eyes. "I'm telling you the truth
now, this is THE TRUTH!" Lindsay admits again to reinforce her words.

"You lied about ALL OF IT! You never loved Ross? You were never
going to be married?" He turns on her as though he's never seen her
before his eyes are moist with unshed tears. "How could you do that
to me?"

"It seemed like the right thing- you would never have given up
on us- I mean-. if you thought-. I didn't want to hurt you Bobby
you have to believe- I did it all out of LOVE!" Lindsay insists trying
to touch his arms as she gets closer to him but he snaps it out of
her reach.

"LOVE! You call what you did to me LOVE! Have you lost your mind!"
Bobby lashes out the way he always has, because this revelation has
him
reeling. All rational thought has left him as he digests the degree of
betrayal she's reached to SPARE HIM! What a joke! He shakes his
head at her mouthing no, his mind is spinning out of control and his
body is trembling
with overwrought emotions.

Lindsay stands there feeling his sudden abandonment keenly ironically
her lips are still moist from his kisses her skin's still tingling
from his passionate ministries. Her eyes are cloudy and tearfully
emulate the sky outside. The worst of the storm is over, but the
damage is done and there may be some things left in its wake that are
irreparable. Lindsay holds her silence hoping he just needs some
time.

"What is it Lindsay? Is this about Sara? Did you decide Quid pro
quo?" Bobby laughs
derisively.

Lindsay shakes her head. "No! NEVER!  Bobby I didn't plan it- it just
happened-"

"Ok I'm confused now Lindsay! What happened or didn't happen? Are you
sure
you even know!" Bobby's voice is contemptuous.

"YES! I KNOW! I DID NOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH ROSS!"

"Oh God! You don't want to be under oath when you say that!" Bobby
informs
her scathingly.

"I'll swear it on a stack of bibles!" Lindsay promises.

"Oh really is that so, perjury is punishable by imprisonment
Lindsay."

"I-" Lindsay faces the facts he's right, she's had a fair amount of
intimacy with
good old Ross, no matter how much she wishes it wasn't so now.

He takes full advantage of her guilt to grill her more.
"And what do you call the kisses I heard and saw, I supposed
you'll say they were innocent too!" Bobby asks becoming the
tyrannical
prosecution.

"That is NOT the same as sleeping with him!" Lindsay hears the
weakness in her
own defense.

"But you admit you nearly slept with him MORE than once?" Bobby
pounds his
point.

"I-don't know- I mean we kissed you know that already! And ONE night
we came close-a LONG time before you and I were about to reconcile."
Lindsay rushes
her explanation hoping he will see reason.

"You don't call that cheating we're still married?" Bobby
snarls. "Funny when I did it and our marriage was nearly on the rocks
YOU called it cheating- we reconcile and you decide to do it or let
ME think you DID it, with him and you do share kisses and nudity with
another man-just when we were ready to renew our vows! So tell me
which is it Lindsay? Was it cheating or not!" His tone is iron.

She swallows hard. "I was the ONLY one naked! She flushes as she
realizes
how utterly incriminating her explanation is.

He laughs scathingly choking back the tears threatening to burst out
of his soul.

"NOTHING like what you think happened, HAPPENED!" Lindsay's voice is
raw and
emotionally wrought.

"SO YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Bobby glares at her condemningly.

  "We kissed-we nearly-because I was out of my mind about you!" She
looks squarely
into his eyes and then as quickly cast them downwards. She wants to
take that look
from his face, she'd rather die than cause him this much humiliation
and pain. She knows she's the one who brought this on. She knows he
has to have his say before he'll ever
even try to see past her transgressions. "Okay Bobby, you're right,
what I did wasn't-"

Bobby's vision has become myopic and he isn't about to excuse her
behavior.
"So you didn't have the actual sex- but you let me BELIEVE you did for
how long now?" Bobby asks ready to throw her in a dungeon and
misplace the key forever.

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay begs him to forgive with sincerity and
repentance in her eyes.

"You're sorry!" Wow! Thanks!" Bobby feels like vomiting. When he
thinks of
all the times he agonized in his mind battling the sordid thoughts
and images of her and Ross. Maybe on some level he deserved the irony
of this, but right now, he isn't accepting or taking her deception
well.  "How dare you!" His disgusted eyes look her up and down as
though she isn't worth his gaze.

Lindsay feels her body flushing in degradation and self hatred. She
remains silent
as she faces the error of her judgment. She never should have taken
it so far.
She can see his heart splitting in two over this. How could she have
ever thought
it was alright to hurt him so barbarically.

"Bobby, you have to know-" Lindsay approaches him the quaking of her
heart won't be stilled until he forgives her, he has to forgive her!

He backs away from her cornering himself against a wall. His hands
reach out behind
him to touch the wall, he is trying valiantly to steady his frazzled
nerves.

Lindsay is afraid to go to close she can feel his desire to get out
of being
anywhere near her. She has to get through to him before its too late.
"I LOVE YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU SINCE THE DAY I MET YOU- I'LL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU- THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE- NO MATTER WHAT YOU
THINK- IN MY HEART THERE'S ONLY YOU."
Lindsay's voice shakes the sobbing tears beg him to soften just a
little.

"I can't hear this! I have to get out of here!" Bobby searches in
vain for his keys because
they were discarded in the wet heap of clothing upstairs. I have to
get the HELL out!"
He roars wishing to God he was anywhere but here.

Lindsay suddenly gets a burst of courage. She can't let him go. NOT
like this.
He might never come back. With the bravery comes a healthy dash of
anger. What the
hell is wrong with him! Okay so she lied- she was wrong. She had gone
off
the deep end and yes she couldn't disagree she had crossed some lines
with Ross. But she hadn't had the full blown affair he was so sure
she'd had, and that
has to get through his thick skull!  "YOU KNOW WHAT Bobby I think
I'll leave!" Lindsay voice is deeply penetrating.

He turns back to face her. "FINE!" "It's what you do best!" He steps
away from the door offering her easy departure.

Lindsay didn't expect him to agree so easily.

Bobby can see the hesitation and he realizes she's in no condition to
go out side the way she's dressed. She's making empty threats. MORE
lies. He
can't take MORE lying. So it's up to him to expose them all!
"Where the hell do you think your going to go in this storm?"

Lindsay eyes flash she isn't about to let him wallow in pain, she's
got
to find a way to get him to the other side of it. After everything
they've
gone through, and all the beautiful possibilities before them she
isn't
about to let him throw it all away now. She pushes an annoying lock
of damp hair behind her ear.

"I don't know maybe what I should do is drive all the way BACK to
Boston so I can
find Ross and sleep with him! Isn't that what YOU want! I mean
before, just a few minutes ago you were ready and willing for that to
be the truth! As long as YOU found it okay in your self-righteous
heart to forgive me- I was in your good graces- but NOW since I
haven't had sex with him-your thinking I betrayed you more! Why
prolong the agony for us both! So what do you say Bobby? Once I have
sex with him, you'll be right- again and you can be the forgiving
husband? Would that make it okay?" Her voice
holds that steely assurance she uses in trial. She feels NONE of the
confidence
she's displaying but she doesn't know what else to do. She could lose
him forever
over this!

Lindsay knows she isn't being quite fair, but what about anything has
been
fair? She knows Bobby is hurt, she knows he has a right to feel the
way he feels.
But she can't afford to give him too much time to screw things up
worse between
them because if she does they may never make it back to each other,
and she wants
that so much. She won't ever treat him so callously again! She
silently vows she will make all of this up to him. He just has to
give her the chance. "I'll just go have
that little fling with Ross, that way you can have the adulterous
wife you
seem to need so badly!"

"DON'T BE RIDCULOUS!" Bobby shakes his head knowing that if Lindsay
is pushed far enough she would probably do it just to prove what an
idiot she
thinks he is. "You don't get to say that! Don't try to turn this
around ON ME!
I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE MANIPLIATED OUR LIVES INTO THIS
GIGANTIC MESS! AND BELIEVE ME LINDSAY NONE OF THIS IS
OKAY!"

"Oh come ON Bobby you wanted to be the sanctimonious husband that
took pity on his poor cheating wife? It's kind of fun to have the shoe
ON your foot for a change especially after Sara now isn't it?"
Lindsay knows this
could be the ultimate end to end all marriages. She knows he is going
to
get even angrier than he was before. "I'm sure if I call Ross he'd
be only too willing to help YOU out!"

"STOP IT!" Bobby gives into the childish desire and puts his hands
tightly over both ears. At least he's no longer standing by the door
as his defeated body collapses on the stairs.

"Oh why it's the TRUTH isn't it? What is it going to be Bobby! Are
you disappointed I didn't really sleep with him at all! Because NOW
were not even! And your
still the ONE who cheated! Will you ONLY be happy if I cheat ALL THE
WAY too!"
Lindsay taunts him knowing she is pushing his every nerve.

"You know what you did was unconscionable?"  The last thing
Bobby wants is her to go anywhere near Ross Avery or Avery Ross
or whoever the HELL he is!

"I made some big mistakes…. but YOU knew I'd kissed Ross! You
knew everything up front, NOTHING was done behind YOUR back! Nothing
happened that YOU didn't know about- EXCEPT that I DIDN'T ever
sleep with HIM and WOULD NEVER have slept with HIM! I LOVE YOU
YOU! AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME! YOU'RE HERE Bobby
even when you were SURE I'd been unfaithful. YOU came here. YOU
always know when I need YOU! And-and in spite of everything I've done
and said and led you to believe your still here- you came after me-
no matter how bad you thought it was- you were ready to forgive me-.
for everything! Bobby! She stops the tirade because she's exhausted
her
emotions have been in such an upheaval lately she's ready for it all
to be over, whatever over ends up being. All she can do is ask
for forgiveness, she's made her point, he should be seeing it more
clearly now, and if he doesn't, he  doesn't. "You were ready
and willing to give me another chance, Bobby, you haven't let
anything I've done, or you thought I've done, stop you from being
here, so why are you now? I didn't know I'd ever tell you the truth.
I thought I was letting us go forever. "I thought I was doing
something
good, for you, something that would free you to be-"

Bobby's hand swipes the air denying she'd done him any good.

"Okay I know, I didn't succeed in my misguided intentions and I'm so
sorry,
you have to know that, hurting you was never something I wanted to do
again! PLEASE forgive me now-. Please-. I could NEVER have- I did go
beyond- I know was unfaithful in some-"

"YA THINK!" Bobby's ready to explode. Why doesn't she just shut
the hell up nothing she's saying will ever take away the worst
weeks of his life! HELL wasn't even as bad a place as he felt
he's come from. He jumps up off the step and heads to the door. But
as usual he can't do more than touch the damn knob. He turns around
his eyes gleam skeptically.

Lindsay, talks faster knowing she has to get him to come to his
senses somehow.
"I know it was horrible that I let you think-it was bad enough- But I
had no idea you'd ever hear those tapes! That isn't MY fault! I HATE
that you heard them!-I should have never let you believe it, but
Bobby that's the worst I could do, fool you into believing
it because I couldn't REALLY do it- ever-.EVER!" Lindsay eyes plead
again for him to think about this clearly. He remains stubbornly
quiet with his arms firmly folded on his chest.

"I didn't LOVE Ross- I NEVER would have gone through with a marriage
to him. I never intended to do anything but LOVE you for the rest of
my life!
When we left here, last time- and we had decided to renew our vows.
I meant every word I swear! But then everything went crazy! I just- I
got off track a little."

"A LITTLE Lindsay!" Bobby's eyebrows rise in sarcastic agreement.

"Okay I was WAY-WAY OUT OF LINE!" She admits it desperate to
get him to see that what he went through is OVER.
You're right it's what I do. What I've always done!
I think I'm still scared to fail! But Bobby I am MORE scared of
losing you forever,
than facing whatever the future holds. As LONG as I have YOU with me
I promise I won't ever deceive you or run away from you again!"

Bobby looks away from her focusing on nothing but preferring it
than to having to meet her traitorous eyes. Haven't they both
suffered enough? But how
can he forgive her lies about something so sacredly held between
them. And at time when he thought they had conquered every doubt,
every barrier. She lied and he'd suffered deeply. "I'm not sure I can
even look at you right now- Lindsay…" Bobby swallows the burgeoning
lump in his throat. He buries his head in his hands.

"I'm here Bobby." Lindsay teary voice is not even persuasion
enough. "I'm going
to be here until you do look at me, and see that what I'm telling you
now is the
truth. "I'm standing right here Bobby." She reminds him of words they
have
spoken before in uncertain and painful times. She knows they will hit
home.

He raises his head morosely. He closes his eyes on those familiar
haunting words.
"I must have failed horribly at making you feel loved enough." Bobby
turns it on himself.
He has to find a way to take the blame here, because if this is all
Lindsay's fault
if she really did this, how can he live with it? "Somehow I let you
down and you
didn't feel secure." Bobby can't believe it but it must be true.

"NO!"  That's NOT true, YOU know you were absolutely wonderful- it
was me! I really thought I was doing it, ALL OF IT to protect you,
I'd do anything
for you Bobby, even something this unimaginable. "I felt adored by you
again, and I knew how much loved me we'd fallen in love again. You
showed me so beautifully. I really thought it was the only way to let
you go, and for you to want to go."

Bobby remembers how she admitted she didn't feel adored when the
marriage was on the verge of crumbling. He'd let her say it, he didn't
assure her she was. But she'd always been adored by him.

"I just don't understand how you thought ripping my heart out, was
going
to HELP me, WHY don't you want to protect my HEART more than you want
to protect my career?" Bobby's voice is soft filled with conflicting
feelings.
"You're supposed to be the one I can entrust it too, I just can't
believe
you didn't know what this would do to me? How could you NOT know!
God Lindsay! I wanted to crawl into dark hole and never come out
again." A few tears fall in spite of his effort to stifle them. He
relives the recent weeks of turmoil and tortuous uncertainty. He
turns his back on her because he can't reconcile her actions with her
assurances of love.

Lindsay hates to see him so broken. She thought that if she ever had
a chance
to tell him the whole truth someday, that he would forgive her more
easily than if she had been totally unfaithful She has been so
wrapped up in keeping up the subterfuge that she didn't take the time
to focus on ALL the ramifications of her actions. She steps up
to his broad shouldered back tentatively touching it with both hands.
The
feel of her fingers thorough his shirt, touching him so intimately
causes a
damn to burst inside of him. He shoulders shake with the force of the
rampant release. Slowly Lindsay circles him until she is standing in
front of him.
Silently she opens her arms and even while his head is shaking in
denial
he finds his own arms pulling her to him. They both cry out all the
craziness, pain, frustration and deep seated fears they've held inside
for far too long.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me." Lindsay muffled words
calm
him, hearing her voice always did that. Even if he was angry and upset
with her, he found solace in her softly spoken intonations. "I really
wish
I could take it all back-but I can't!" Lindsay's filled with remorse
and regret.
What had she been thinking? He might never trust her again. She sees
the irony
now in her misguided intentions. "I've been a certifiable idiot!" She
whispers
softly into his ear. His tears have abated and he pushes her back
from his body, staring
at her absently, lost in a little war waging in his head while a more
fearsome mêlée is occurring within his heart. How can what she did be
forgiven? How can it not. He has to let this go somehow, shouldn't he
be thrilled. She hadn't slept with Ross. He'd hated
even thinking it, now he doesn't have to anymore. It's true he should
be on cloud nine.
Why can't he just let it go and accept her obviously heart felt
sorrow. "I don't know."
He utters his uncertainty out loud. Bobby doesn't know what to say
next, he knows they are wavering precariously over one last cliff.

Lindsay hands go up in despair. What will it take for him to see how
repentant she is?

Bobby sees her aggravation he knows those feelings well. He'd felt
helpless
and misunderstood enough times by her to recognize her expression
easily.

"What can I do Bobby?" Lindsay eyes plead for some kind of
absolution.

"You can be completely honest for the first time in weeks. "He laughs
sarcastically.
"Of course how can I really know what is the TRUTH when you speak?"

"I WILL tell you ANYTHING you want to know, and it will BE truthful!
I won't
EVER lie to you again about ANYTHING!" She holds her hand up as if
she is about
to testify in a court of law. The only thing missing is the bible.

Bobby wants direct contact with her eyes. He will know the truth, the
idea of it
has been eating away at him, he has to know this once and for all,
before anything will ever seem right between them again.

"I want to know about YOUR feeling towards Ross! I KNOW you had to
have felt
something-" his hand passes over his eyes because he doesn't really
want to know the truth about this but he has to face it and so does
she!

"Bobby-" Lindsay is a deer caught in headlights, if she faces his
question head
on she will be hit between the eyes. And if she runs-well that's not
an option because
she has no where to go.

"I KNOW you NEVER would have told him everything you did, without some
kind of deep connection. You would NEVER have turned to him even in
desperation-"
Bobby apparently loves to torture himself because he's going straight
for the juggler
vein on this one. "You had to have feelings Lindsay, I know you-you
don't let
people in so easily."

Lindsay eyes tear up, she knows he's right. She felt something. What
does she
say to him now? Whatever she says is going to be damning. She chooses
her words carefully knowing her answer will make or break her future.

"Never MIND Lindsay, your silence is answer enough!" Bobby shakes his
head unable to stand there waiting. He's waited LONG enough for her.

"NO! She grabs for his shirt sleeve just as he begins to turn away.
"YOU'RE NOT going anywhere! You want an answer, and I intend
to give you ONE!"

"I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO THE TRUTH!" Bobby's strangled tone tells her
she's got
limited time.

"I've told you Bobby, I met Ross by accident, I wasn't looking-I was
still in denial about us-he came into my life-he listened-he was sweet
and kind-and I felt-appreciated-and understood by him. I guess
I soaked it up-because I never thought I'd feel that way with anyone
ever again. So yes, the feelings I had about him were real."

Bobby's eyes close as she speaks.

"But HE didn't turn out to be real at all!" She explains quickly
hoping he will have the fortitude to stick with her till she's done
speaking.

His open accusingly. "That doesn't change how YOU feel Lindsay
trust me I know that!"

"Yes, there were times I wanted to fall madly in LOVE with Ross!"
Lindsay admission nearly sends Bobby running. "But I couldn't!
WHY? Because I still LOVED you!" She paces in a circle now, similar
to the one
she felt she was in her whole life, repeating those insipid patterns
over and over
because she'd never quite gotten it right. "I never stopped! NOT NOW,
NOT
THEN! NEVER! What I felt for Ross was some kind of connection, I won't
deny it, I feel connections to a LOT of people Bobby, Helen, Lucy,
Ellenor,
Bec, Jimmy, Eugene- and it was love, like I have for any one of them,
a form
of love, he was good to me when I needed someone who didn't know me,
everyone
here knew me before all the stuff we went through- but Ross accepted
me as I am now, not expecting who I used to be. It was just easier
being with him, it was nice being valued in spite of everything-. And
I had no idea he would betray us the way
he did." Lindsay eyes implore him to hear this once and for all. "I
guess
with the trust we had so damaged, I needed someone I could trust, I
needed him
to talk to, because I'd missed what we had so much."

Bobby feels the iceberg melting inside, at least she's not
excusing the physical intimacy with Ross, and he knows she
is trying hard to come to terms with what exactly Ross did mean to
her.

"You were right Bobby; a lot about what I did was running away.
I do it ALL the time. I've been doing it since the day I met you,
because I've been so afraid, I'd lose you, it feels like hell to KEEP
losing you over and over again!" Lindsay cries soulfully expressing
the loneliness in her eyes.

"Tell me about it!" Bobby agrees sighing deeply. He can't hate her,
he understands her so well. He sees a reflection of himself in her, he
always has. They both have so many fears about opening their hearts,
they've overcome so much but there is still a lot they haven't
touched.
He knows the ONLY way they will ever conquer this is to stay together
and prove themselves wrong. They can survive ANYTHING! They have
been unified in so many battles. She's his partner. She will be
forever
no matter what. Is he really so full of pride and anger that he'd pass
on a relationship with her, his life, his love, his soul's perfect
mate? There
never been any answer but the one happening now as he reaches
for her offering her his hand, his heart his soul.

She takes it, squeezing it tentatively smiling uncertainly through
the tears.

"You don't love him, like-"Bobby head shakes slightly he had to be
sure.

"NO!" Lindsay shakes her head vigorously.
"Bobby I chose you too! You knocked me off my feet, and
sprayed me with coffee. You let me think you were someone else, you
disappeared and I thought I might never see you again, but when I
walked into that office I was wishing it would be you. And it was
you. It's always been you. I've never looked back, or even forward,
really without YOU. You're the reason I grew
into that woman you spoke of earlier. You loving me- I'd never loved
anyone, the way I love you. Bobby" she struggles with tears
threatening to muffle her words. "I was
so afraid I'd never feel-you know! You made me feel beautiful and
alive
and gave me so much more than I ever dreamed."

Bobby immunity is weakening, hearing Lindsay recalling the first
moments
of their shared capitulation begins to diminish his anger.
"All I ever wanted was to make you happy." Bobby whispers.

"YOU DID! No one else ever could the way you do! "Lindsay wants so
much to
be held by him, but she feels the tenseness of his hand in hers. "You
don't know how
it felt- she gulps a little feeling the ache return to her chest. She
touches her
heart with her free hand. "I-I- couldn't breathe thinking-" she gasps
a little
for the elusive breath just thinking about it. "Bobby thinking I'd
never be"
her voice breaks as tears flow freely. "your wife, I'd never feel
your arms
holding me-"Lindsay can barely utter the words.

Bobby can't bare to see her in anguish. He's seen it too much. He
knows
her heart, he can feel it as he holds her trembling hand. He gently
takes
the hand she holds against her heart into his. He gives her a minute
to
calm herself, His thumbs stroke the top of her hands. She raises her
watery eyes to his begging for amnesty.


"You promise me HERE and Now that you've stopped this crazy
idea in your head that you have to run ever again!" Bobby voice
is soft but stern.

He clasps her hand a little tighter as he waits for her answer.

"I'll never run again, as long as I don't ever lose you." Lindsay
pledges as he pulls her tenderly towards him wrapping her
protectively in his arms. Tears of relief are falling unabashedly

"I'm still quite angry with you!" He informs her softly as his
fingers erase the cleansing tears.

"I know-" She smiles fondly as she lets out a tiny left-over hiccup.

He wishes he could hold her like this forever and shut out the entire
world for eternity. But he's not quite ready to do that yet.

"Lindsay Dole if YOU EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN ABOUT ANYTHING!"

Her smile is full fledged now she knows he's started the forgiveness
process.
"I WON'T!" she vows.

"NO RUNNING! NO LYING!" Bobby is like an adamant father who
has been kept awake waiting all night for his naughty kid to come home
from God knows where. She has to know the rules! "NO MORE FEAR! If
either of us is afraid we talk, to one another or to Dr. Ash, it
doesn't matter as long as WE TALK!"

She nods agreeing as her eyes dance in happy anticipation.

"I'm still MAD!" He reinforces the point because he knows it's
useless for
him to try to stay angry at her for any substantial length of time,
and damn
it she's always known that! Whatever resistance he felt before is
melting away.

"Bobby, I'll make this up-"

"ABOUT YOU!" Bobby interrupts finally giving them both what they
so desperately want. She feels his absolution as his lips part hers
greedily.
Soft moans followed by long sated sighs fill the silence. Slowly they
move towards complete capitulation as desires ignite and all thought
of distancing perishes. "I want you now, Lindsay I can't-"Bobby's
whispers
ardently.

"Love me." Lindsay answers breathlessly.

He pulls her up against him her arms embrace him to her
tightly he lifts her feet off the floor her legs enwrap
around his thighs as he carries and kisses her lowering her to the
soft pillowed
space in front of the fireplace.

The flames of fire dance casting shadows of the two reunited lovers
discarding the last
barriers between them, clothing flies landing in puddles around the
room. As they kneel together joyously embracing at last all
misunderstandings melting into happy surrendering ecstasy. Waves of
pleasure crash over them euphoric tides of reverberating bliss fill
them up brimming them over in bubbling frothy delight. Palms meet
fingers intertwined squeezing, clenching holding fast as they ascend
to the stars and back again. They lay bathed in the golden fire lit
glow reveling as finally they become one, one heart one mind, one
body and one soul, harmonizing in euphoric universal song.

"Bobby" Lindsay sighs in happy resignation.

"Lindsay" He breathes her name as if it's his life's sustenance.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A few hours later, Lindsay feels her body being gently covered with a
soft
knitted blanket, she feels his arms lift her, as she drowsily awakens
looking
up into his contented eyes. "Where are we going?" Her arms greedily
encircle
his neck.

"Forward, Lindsay we're only going forward." Bobby assures her.

She smiles sighing thoroughly sated.

He ascends the steps stopping every two to kiss her a little more
fervently with
each detainment. Lindsay is giggling softly because she loves being
treasured
in his arms.

Finally they reach his intended goal, their bedroom, and the freshly
lit fire
is glowing invitingly the bed covers are turned back beckoning to be
enjoyed.

Lindsay grins as she sees the advanced preparation.

"I'm getting a little too old to spend the entire night on that
floor!" Bobby admits
grimacing to get some sympathy, as he lays her gently into the downy
mattress.

"Ah so I strained a few of those muscles did I."

"Oh I think there's a bit of stamina left in here, you want to test
me- to make sure?" He whispers in happy anticipation.

"I think I really should do a through examination" She kisses his neck
wanting to start the procedure immediately. "Bobby be careful, I
almost
forgot the broken glass." she reminds him still a bit groggy.

"I took care of it my love, but to be on the safe side I'll keep
your feet off the floor all morning!" He promises.

"Ah-you know just what I need." She kisses his nose lovingly, as he
settles
down into the soft pillowed mattress swooping her immediately into
his arms.

"Lindsay, something's been on my mind and I gotta know before
we-" Lindsay is beginning her hands on scrutiny of his body, kissing
each possibly afflicted area. He sighs deeply nearly forgetting
he has a mind let alone anything in it.

"mmmmm nice." He drawls quietly hoping she ignores his earlier
request to talk.

She stops though leaving his ailing exposed skin feeling woefully
abandoned.

"What is it Bobby, are you still having doubts-"Her eyes penetrate his
afraid the worst may not be over after all.

"NO LINDS NO! Bobby has none left, "-its silly, you said it wasn't
important, and I should-"

"What?" She is trying to think of something she's said that would
leave him in question,
but she's clueless, and her hands would like very much to return his
skin.

"I just was wondering what in the hell had you all the way outside
the house
on top of the roof? You said you'd lost something?"

Lindsay's hand abruptly goes up to her head in instant abject recall.

"Oh Bobby, it's-I- if we can't find-" She is wide awake now
remembering
she never told him what happened.

"What is it Lindsay? It's not the cork to the wine bottle?" He
remembers
his dismissive thoughts and he can see this whatever it is, has more
significant
than a cork.  "What did you lose baby, whatever it is
we'll get it back, don't worry!" His arms extend to get her back to
the
comfort of his body.

"Oh Bobby, it was- my rings!" She takes the empty chain from
around her neck, she'd replaced it there after the rings were long
gone, preferring not to lose anymore precious jewelry.

"Your rings?" Bobby's eyes crinkle in question.

"I wore them on this" She dangles the chain for him to see. "When
I came here today, I wanted to put them on, I thought it would be the
I-I just wanted to see them on my finger again-I thought it was
the last time." She feels awful having to admit she lost them. Bobby
had
chosen and bought the engagement diamond ring long before he ever
proposed, and when he did she loved it, knowing how he had held onto
it through so many doubtful
twists and turns. Now for it to be lost, she seldom got attached to
material
possessions but this, was one she wanted with her forever. This held
so many sentiments and feelings.

"You've been wearing them since-?"
Bobby realizes now that she hadn't ever let go of him, if she kept
those rings that close to her heart, and then it meant that's where
she kept him too.

She nods miserably. "After I'd left you the message- except when you
were around, I made sure-if you'd seen-you'd of known-"Lindsay
sheepishly admits. "I'm sorry Bobby I lost them and with this storm-
they could have blown anywhere!"

"Ah Lindsay don't cry, sweet one, we'll find them, and if we don't,
I'll
get you new ones-" He holds her tenderly against him.

"I don't want new ones, I love my rings! You bought the diamond and
even
when we were so far apart, you kept it and I wanted to keep it
forever.

"I know it's okay sweetie."

"And my wedding band, we chose those together- we were married
without them remember? In my rush to change the wedding I forgot they
were at the jewelers being sized, and you had Jimmy call and run down
to the store, his uncle was so sweet to open up for us-and Jimmy
brought them just in time, so we could take them with us, remember?"

Of course he did, there wasn't one spectacular moment forgotten.
He recalls the wonderful feeling as he slipped the sparkling platinum
band
on her ring finger, making her forever his. They'd only had a short
weekend
here at Laharve after the ceremony, and so it was here, fittingly that
Bobby and Lindsay exchanged the matching platinum bands. They'd
done it in the most sacred haven by the waterfall, the magnificent
place
was the perfect setting  to remarry one another in an even smaller
impromptu
ceremony. Bobby had phoned Claire and as usual she came through with
and rice and a perfectly stocked cottage, complete with candlelight
champagne and flowers. And of course a slight scolding too, for
daring to
be married without her and Sam at the ceremony."

"I'll never forget how it felt to have you slip that ring on my
finger, it felt
as though you let me into your heart, that moment." Lindsay confides.

"I let you in, long before that Lindsay, but I know what you mean,
marriage
is sacred, it connected us irrevocably."

They kiss to seal the sentiment.

She nods sadly rubbing her thumb over her barren ring finger.

"They're just rings Lindsay." Bobby tries to reassure her, but he
knows they
mean more than that.

Lindsay touches Bobby's left hand as if she's viewing a priceless
painting.
"You never took it off?" She marvels that through all the tribulation,
and doubts, even immediately after they separated, Bobby still wore
the ring.

Bobby shakes his head smiling awkwardly. "I guess it's more than a
ring."
He admits as he squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Lindsay we'll get
yours back." His fingers go under her bowed chin raising her face to
meet his eyes. "You'll have them back!" He reiterates softly.

"I won't take them off, ever again!" Lindsay promises. They kiss
languishing in the
reawakened pleasure of being free to express affection. Bobby strokes
her hair
deciding this is as good a time too get an answer to another
pestering question.

"Lindsay, that brings something else to mind. Are we-" Bobby's almost
afraid to ask.

Lindsay is happily returning to all her wifely duties including mind-
reading. "NO! I never
filed the papers, I never even signed them when you gave them to me!"

"So we're still-" Bobby impish pleased grin.

"Legal in all states." She assures him equally thrilled.

"Ah-good, then when we took those vows-"

"It was forever." Lindsay fills in his thoughts.

"Forever" he echoes contentedly.

"Loving you is the best thing I ever did Lindsay Dole." Bobby is
scooting
down into the covers bringing her with him.

"You haven't done it yet!" She teases him. "My exam was rudely
interrupted remember?"

"Oh is that so, well please continue, by all means." Bobby urges,
rocking
a little on his elbow, lying sideways towards facing her unwittingly
making himself
all too available.

"Ohhhhhh maybe I don't want to anymore!" She grins. "I think I'd
rather play CRY UNCLE!" She surprises Bobby by pushing him over
on to his back and straddling him by kneeling over him. She is
holding his very sensitive fingers in her hand threateningly as he
looks up in wide-eyed but complacent indulgence.

"Are you ready to beg for mercy?" She taunts Cheshire cat smile in
full bloom.
"Come on don't you want to look me over." Bobby's entreaty goes on
deaf
ears, because Lindsay is more than looking him over holding the
crooked finger as her
hostage she bends over his invitingly languid body and begins to
administer
her best revenge. "This is for keeping me waiting on that roof in the
rain!"
She whispers kissing his neck and then his ears, moving saucily along
his jaw line
until she reaches his mouth and his alluring, tempting, and engaging
lips.
She exacts her most deliriously demanding form of punishment. Bobby
sighs contentedly allowing her to whip him into shape. "I'll never
keep you waiting on a roof again" he promises as he turns the tables
on her flipping her over onto her back, their legs entangle and latch
together mutual laughter shakes the bedding. Slowly the laughter
fades away
becoming soft murmured whispers, and happy ecstatic rapturous
declarations
of devotion.

The two happily married halves rejoin melodiously and sacredly as
one.
All the darkness fades away, the ominous clouds depart making way for
the full silvery moon and insuring the sweetest of future dreams. The
deep clear midnight skies unveil twinkling magical stars just waiting
to grant reconciled lovers their fondest wishes and most prayed for
desires. As night fades into morning, the sun rises majestically
casting a hazy orange-pink glow over the two euphorically sleeping
lovers who will shortly be awakened to a glorious new dawn.

End of Part 29

This will pick up where it leaves off and then there will be Epilogue
type
of ending I hope you enjoy it! Sorry this got long but as usual
I thought it would lose some punch if I broke it up in the middle
of their confrontations. Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear
what you think, good or bad.

does anyone have the whole encore series by jewels if u do can you e
mail it to me at hoaauus2003@.... I like to read the whole thing
again from the begining

I couldn't believe my eyes when checking my email.  What a nice surprise!!!!


   I know it's been a long while... I actually gone back and read all of the
previous chapter,... LOL... but it's worth it. It's a great story to read over
and over again.

   I really enjoy reading this last chapter, Bobby and his contemplation, and
Helen and her misguided good intention... as well as Lucy and everyone from the
office.. LOL


   And thank goodness for Judge Hiller, now that Bobby got the key... all he had
to do is unlock the mistery... LOL


   Saving the damsel in distress... again.. always... cos he is, Lindsay's
superman... LOL



   I can't believe it, it's been years, when I first read this story, and all
your other story I was still a pre-med student and now... few years later,
finished my education... it's been quite a great part of my life... one of my
pastime favorite activities... reading fanfic. Hope to read more from you...


   Love, Faith






---------------------------------
Access over 1 million songs - Yahoo! Music Unlimited.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

omg, you have no idea how happy i was when i saw this email. thank you so much
for finishing it. it sounds asif you have been through a lot and i hope writing
makes you feel better. you have a great talent and i cant wait to read the next
installment.

jewels_gold2002 <anjschneider@...> wrote:           ENCORE/SOULMATES
THE FINALE~ PART 28

Disclaimer: I know they were never mine but I think I made them a
little mine. LOL
NO profit ect¡K.

This is dedicated to all of you, bless you for still wanting to read
it after all this time.

Well it¡¦s been a long time and I know I should be shot at sunrise
for not finishing this long ago. I have to confess I lost what
I had written of the finale part about the first 2/3 which dampened
by desire
to try and rewrite it awhile back, and so I¡¦m not sure if it will
be in continuity as well as I originally planned. That and
I also have to confess its been over two years since I¡¦ve
written anything besides a grocery list! So I am trying to
get back into writing. I can¡¦t believe I left it undone for so
long and I really don¡¦t know what made me stop. But since I saw a
thread on here
in Dec where the desire to still read Encore/Soulmates was mentioned
I decided
to ask whoever is left of you, to be my guinea pigs once
again. I know I am lucky anyone still wants to read it. I hope I
still have
what it takes to do the writing and the characters justice. I have no
excuse other than that life sometimes gets in the way no matter how
much you wish it wouldn¡¦t.

I think in some weird way it had to do with my Mom¡¦s passing because
I really
started writing a lot when I began to take care of her full time.
Maybe I somehow associated it with that, and had to be away from it
to let go of all of it. Who knows¡K.anyway here¡¦s my feeble attempt to
make up to you any frustration or disappointment you felt.

I haven¡¦t answered your requests in the past because I didn¡¦t want to
tell you I couldn¡¦t.
I hate to disappoint anyone ever.

I have reread all of Encore but
In my head there was a scene I haven¡¦t found yet. So I am wondering
if it was in a part I wrote and lost. It¡¦s aggravating not to be able
to
Go back to the beginning of what I wrote for 28 but maybe it will
Turn out okay anyway. The whole story is still here on the message
board
if anyone wants to review any of it.

Thanks for reading as always and for remaining supportive even
through my lack of contact. I promise this will get finished¡Kit is
almost
completely done but because as usual it has gotten so long I¡¦m going
to post it in two or three parts. I hope there are still a few who
will enjoy it.
ļ And I hope its not too little way too late!

Synopsis

Saturday where we left off Lindsay has just gone from Sam and
Claire¡¦s to Laharve for a last goodbye before running away so
that Bobby will take Judge Hiller¡¦s seat if the committee does
approve him. Best advice is go back and read some or
all of it if you don¡¦t remember. There is no easy way to recap this!
Lol I¡¦m trying!
Oh and Bobby, Judge Hiller, Bec and I think Judge Kittleson are the
only ones
Who even know that Bobby is up for the judge¡¦s seat according to what
Bobby knows.
Of course Lindsay found out from Judge Kittleson, who informed
her that there is no way Bobby will get the seat on the bench
as long as Lindsay is his wife, because of her time in jail¡Kect¡K
Lindsay went to confirm if it was true with Judge Hiller. Judge
Hiller promised not to say anything to Bobby which she hasn¡¦t.
And wow if this isn¡¦t complicated! Lol

Uhm ¡K.Bobby has been adamant that he will ONLY accept the judge¡¦s
seat if Lindsay is by his side. He has had ongoing committee meetings
where he has been questioned and interrogated repeatedly. He is
now awaiting their final decision. He doesn¡¦t know Lindsay even knows
about the judicial seat or the committee¡¦s reluctance to approve him
because of her. Now he has been called by Judge Hiller to get to the
courthouse. He is more intent on finding Lindsay and confronting her
about her feelings for Ross the parrot owning lying author who has
confessed to Lindsay that he wrote a book about her without her
permission, and is in love with her. They were engaged for about an
hour in Lindsay¡¦s attempt to
throw Bobby off as to why she no longer wished to be with him.
Lindsay broke
the engagement when she found out about Ross¡¦s duplicity in wanting
to publish
an unauthorized book about her entire life.

Ok uhm Ross feeling bad about his deception has joined Helen in
trying to
Find out why Lindsay is running away from Bobby when they know it¡¦s
him she loves. Helen has enlisted Lucy¡¦s help. Helen is worried
because through gossip she has heard that Bobby has had many
clandestine meetings at the courthouse and no one has the whole
story on what he has been doing. Helen jumps to the conclusion
after she hears there is a sting operation going to catch another
corrupt judge that maybe Bobby is on the take from that judges he was
suspected of being when Judge Fleming left a file incriminating him,
which Helen destroyed. All Helen knows for sure is that Bobby has
been meeting with judges secretly at the courthouse, and that either
he is in on a sting operation to expose another corrupt judge or he
could be corrupt himself, (which of course Helen doesn¡¦t really want
to believe.)

Mike and Helen are engaged.

The rest of the gang is still at the office except for Lucy who is a
rape councilor.

Sam and Claire know Lindsay is at Laharve but are sworn to secrecy
regarding divulging her whereabouts being revealed to Bobby. Really
you need to read Encore 27 to have any of this Make sense. Lol

The story resumes here. I know don¡¦t faint I can¡¦t believe it¡¦s
getting finished either!

ENCORE 28 WITH A TOUCH OF SOUL PART 1 OF FINALE.

Bobby is hopping on one foot trying to tie his tie and get his pants
on at the same time.
Judge Hiller has mandated he get to the courthouse immediately. Why
now, he
barely, even cares anymore. It¡¦s just a job, when all is said and
done. Yes it holds social
prestige and the possibility for a political future. But he¡¦s not
even sure he¡¦s interested
in that anymore. He¡¦s never really been the pretentious type anyway,
and without
Lindsay, nothing mattered to him. God! If only he could blow this
meeting off and go
search for her! That¡¦s all he wants to do! Where the HELL is she? And
where
is Bobby Jr.? He tries to shake off the sinking feeling in his gut
that something isn¡¦t
right, that is above and beyond all the other things that are already
NOT right in his life.

He¡¦s finally got the pants on now its just putting on the damn shoes!
His hands
are clammy and trembling slightly as he ties them. And he wonders
why? What is this weird feeling of urgency he has that goes further
than the need to get to the courthouse? And why on a Saturday! Hell,
you can¡¦t even get a judge to set foot at the courthouse on a Friday
afternoon let alone a weekend day. Maybe Hiller found out about the
committee¡¦s rejection of him the night before and didn¡¦t have the
heart to let him down over the phone. His mind races from one
scenario to the other of course nothing
he imagines has a positive outcome. But he¡¦s okay, so what if he
loses the chance to become a judge? He won¡¦t kid himself there will
ever be another opportunity because this he knows is a-once-in-a-
lifetime shot. He wanted to make Lindsay proud of him. He realizes
that is the reason he¡¦s even allowed the process to go this far. He
wanted to see the look on her face as she stood by him as he was
sworn in. He wanted to see the sparkling glimmer of pride in her eyes
validating that he is her hero, her Knight in a Shinning Silky Black
Robe. That¡¦s why he doesn¡¦t really expect it to happen, because as
things are, she isn¡¦t going to be there to see any of it. He grabs
his jacket, and heads to his car knowing that the emptiness he feels
isn¡¦t going to evaporate, not now, not ever.

His fingers jam the key into the ignition as his heart drowns in the
pain he has
been trying so hard to ignore. His foot hits the gas belligerently
causing his fuel injected car to protest to the inevitable ache that
consumes him at every thought of her. Damn it! He realizes in his
overwrought state he¡¦s flooded the engine! GREAT!
He tries again time after time impatiently trying to get the damn
thing to start.

NO. Why would this go smoothly nothing else has! He decides it¡¦s a
good thing
his apartment is on a busy street, so there are plenty of cabs to
flag down. He departs
the car nearly leaving the keys in his haste, not that anyone could
take off with it
after the number he¡¦s done on the carburetor.

Of course the plentiful cabs are a figment of his imagination today
too
as it takes four before he finally gets an empty one. As he falls back
into the seat of the cab his mind goes back to another day and
another taxi when he remembers feeling overwhelmed and depressed. The
cab driver had asked
him where he wanted to go. How weird that a simple question became
a metaphor for his life. And now that he feels he has finally turned
that damned corner, what does he find but a deserted street. He feels
he¡¦s
lost all direction and purpose just as he had that day. So much for
progress, just when you thought you were pointed due North, you
find out you¡¦ve headed straight south.

Lindsay was always there to give him that direction, or at least
let him know on no uncertain terms that he lacked it sorely. His eyes
see the blur of the familiar buildings passing by, but he isn¡¦t
focusing
on the here and now. His heart is melting into the past again. He
feels so lost, so alone, more than even when Lindsay first left him
because now he had had a taste of her in his life again. Life was
cruel sometimes, you get this glimmer of what could be, what
should be, and then poof it disappears. He sees her as he has in the
last months, little snippets of the smiles and the laughter, and the
the most intimate beautiful moments together, more powerful,
more tangible, than it had ever been and he had hoped so much
for a future like that. A reason to get up every day, to see her
smiling face looking up hazily into his eyes as the last remnants of
sleep
slowly lift and she yawns and stretches so invitingly. Those
treasured hurried moments at the breakfast table taking turns
feeding Bobby Jr. and sharing each other¡¦s toast, those were
the days he longs for again. And those nights! Ahhhh those
exquisite nights! He pictures them in a little
fantasy of the future her sitting on the bed brushing her glistening
hair, reaching out her free hand to caress his arm as they
prepare to retire for the night, sweet words whispered in the dark
their children¡¦s dreams. And from that thought comes the tantalizing
fantasy of the intense lovemaking that would fulfill that later
vision.

¡§Hey man, we¡¦re here. You did say the courthouse right?¡¨

The taxi driver¡¦s word¡¦s snap Bobby back to the present.
He mumbles his thanks as he pays the driver and heads up
the marble steps of the austere building. He remembers the
times he and Lindsay had done so together chattering on
about the case they were about to try. One of them coming
up with some instantaneous strategy while the other was, (usually
Lindsay)
brought up thousands of reasons why it would never work. Those
were the days! Those first moments of incredulous awe he felt every
time
she opened her mouth, or smiled or spoke about anything. He couldn¡¦t
quite believe she was real at first, because he¡¦d never met anyone
like her.
And all the while he was falling madly in love, another part of him
fought it like a lion! He hated feeling so weak in the knees, every
time he so much as sensed her presence in the room. He was so filled
with fear then, fear of letting the love show, fear of letting her see
what a helpless wimp he became whenever it came to her. The
overwhelming
need for her was too much and he hid his love as though it was a
weapon she
could use against him if he ever showed her any indication of how he
really
felt. And the irony of the whole ridiculous mess was Lindsay was and
is
about the least intimidating or threatening person you¡¦d ever meet.

The freckles sprinkled across her nose made her look like she could
be a teenager, and there was always a sweetness, an innocence about
her
that befuddled and dazzled him all at the same time. And if that
wasn¡¦t
enough her mind that brilliant, intelligent legal mind left him
speechless
so many times. In court she astounded him with her dazzling knowledge
of the constitution and her closings¡K he smiles as he pictures her
immersed in the rush of delivering those. He never admit it to her
of course.

Her closing surpassed anyone¡¦s he¡¦d ever seen, and he loved debating
cases and arguing about who had the better closing arguments. She
invigorated his mind, she captured his heart, energized his body, and
refreshed his soul. He felt jaded and cynical until he met her. He
didn¡¦t
even believe he¡¦d ever have a family, because who would ever
understand him enough to put up with his work ethic. Everything
changed that moment outside the office on the sidewalk. Hope and
ideals and faith were renewed for him in that enchanting moment.

She was his perfect match, his dream manifested. And having
her appear out of nowhere the way she did, he often had to remind
himself
she was not some angel that would suddenly disappear. At least he
thought
she wouldn¡¦t but apparently he was wrong because he sure as hell can¡¦t
find her anywhere now!

As he walks down the courthouse corridor he tries to force his
mind to concentrate on the task at hand, but it¡¦s useless because
lately he has
nothing but tunnel vision directing his sight only on Lindsay.
He smiles fondly as he remembers all the bantering and arguing
they¡¦ve done here. He wishes those gorgeous blue eyes were sparking
anger
at him right now, even filled with recriminations, or sharp reminders
of when he¡¦d made a horrible manly blunder he loved looking into them.
And when they sparkled with passion and love he melted and became
softer than a toasted marshmallow. Oh those eyes!

As he approaches Judge Hiller¡¦s office he wrestles with
his mind battling to focus on her because he knows she will expect him
to be attentive respectful and humble. It was a prerequisite to
appearing before
her anywhere, and he knew better than to bend the rules. He opens the
door
slowly taking a deep breath. Judge Hiller looks up from her desk
folding
her hands in front of her as her gaze bores through him.

¡§Hello Bobby, take a seat.¡¨ She points at the chair her grim
expression
does little to brighten this already bleak day.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Helen has been trying repeatedly to get Bobby on the phone, but
She hasn¡¦t had any luck. She is desperate to corner him and demand
the truth about what in the heck is going on with him and Lindsay. And
above all what kind of trouble he is in at the courthouse, it must be
something bad because NO one is divulging anything, and that¡¦s
never a good thing. It smells funny like there is some kind of
gag order on anyone speaking about it or giving up any information.
This happened before with Judge Fleming, and that was very
nearly a disaster for Bobby. She dreads that something bad may happen
and that maybe this once she will be powerless to help anyone. She
hates being powerless.

¡§Damn it Bobby where are you?¡¨

She furiously pounds another number into the phone. As she
impatiently waits
for the other end to pick up her free hand shoves the disheveled
stacks of papers
and files on the kitchen table she has commandeered for her makeshift
home office.

Mike comes out of the living room to find his lovely Helen talking to
herself
once again. ¡§Ah how¡¦s the operation going sergeant?¡¨ He asked barely
able to keep from bursting into laughter. You¡¦d think from the latest
command post Helen has created that she was solving the world hunger
crisis.

¡§Well if you can¡¦t see DON¡¦T ask!¡¨ Helen barks back in frustration.

Mike watches with eyebrows raised as Helen growls her orders to the
poor unsuspecting victim who has answered her call.

¡§Lucy for God¡¦s sake why haven¡¦t you called me? You were supposed
to have a lookout scheduled for the courthouse did you do it?¡¨


¡§Helen,¡¨ Lucy answers ¡§Like I told you if Bobby Donnell so much
as sets foot in that place I will hear about it!¡¨

¡§Are you sure Lucy? We can¡¦t afford to miss anything!¡¨

¡§Security is on it! I have friends in spy places!¡¨ Lucy responds
jovially.
Oh how she missed the days of nosy intrigue, she realizes this may
be her last hurrah so she plans to make the most of it.

¡§GOOD!¡¨ Helen praises stingily. ¡§Because you have bigger things to do
today and you have to do it exactly as I say do you understand?¡¨

Mike shakes his head preferring to return to his football game.
Watching
the players mercilessly attack each other will be child¡¦s play
compared
to observing Helen at her best. He smiles fondly as he takes one last
peek at his beloved threatening poor Lucy with bodily harm.

¡§You need to find Dr. Ash!¡¨ Helen instructs her speaking slowly,
loudly and deliberately.

¡§Helen isn¡¦t that Lindsay¡¦s therapist?¡¨ Lucy asks pretending
innocence,
there is no way in hell she will let on to Helen Dr. Ash is her
therapist too.

¡§Yes Lucy she is, now stop interrupting and do exactly as I say!¡¨
Helen
rolls her eyes in frustration.

Silence at last from the opposite end of the phone.

¡§Go see Dr. Ash ask her if she knows anything about Lindsay¡¦s latest
change of heart for Bobby, of course she will claim patient
confidentiality but this is a matter of life and death, YOURS Lucy if
you don¡¦t somehow worm it out of her if anyone can you can!¡¨

¡§Oh this is good a lawyer who sees clients and promises
confidentiality all the time
and then expects me to ignore it with a doctor!¡¨ Lucy grumbles
wishing she could be in charge of this operation instead of Helen.

¡§What did you say Lucy?¡¨ Helen asks her tone rising slightly with
each word.

¡§Nothing¡K.but uh it¡¦s Saturday, Dr. Ash won¡¦t be in her office on
Saturday.¡¨

¡§And that will stop you why?¡¨ Helen asks impatiently.

¡§You want me to go to her house?¡¨

¡§DING, DING, DING Lucy you win the prize!¡¨ Helen drones.

¡§Why can¡¦t I just call her Helen and ask her this over the phone?¡¨
Lucy whines.

¡§Body Language Lucy! Can you see Body language over the phone?¡¨

¡§Helen I really think that I could¡K.¡¨ Lucy tries to reason with her
which
she should know by now is useless. Helen on a mission is like a
penguin
in the artic, nothing is going to stop her.

¡§Lucy you better find out something or I¡¦d advise you to get
a restraining order against ME if you don¡¦t! Where¡¦s the OLD Lucy
you know in the old days you, you could get a Benediction monk with a
hundred
years vow of silence to talk just to get you to shut up! NOW GO!¡¨

Helen slams the phone intent on returning to her search for the
incredibly disappearing Donnell family.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Meanwhile back at Laharve.

Lindsay has taken a walk before going into the cottage. She looks
at her favorite place wishing she could manifest Bobby in the flesh.
If only there was a way to have one more magical time with him
in their secret haven without Bobby ever remembering he was here. Yes
she could just
use her imagination, but it wouldn¡¦t be the same as having the real
thing, because at last Bobby is the real Bobby the man she envisioned
from the moment she met him. Letting go of that man is what is making
this
so terribly difficult. She knows that they would have made it this
time,
they would have been able to sustain a relationship because they were
both ready. They¡¦d been through hell and back and had survived alone
and together, and they had matured and grown up enough to know that
love itself isn¡¦t what holds a relationship together, they both
understand how much you have to be there in the moment, communicating,
laughing, fighting, and participating. You can¡¦t let just one person
hold it together. You
can¡¦t take turns leaving it up to the other person to carry their
end, you
have to carry it as one. She was so looking forward to experiencing
it with him
and now to have lost that opportunity to ever be that couple again is
heartbreakingly
sad.

Funny, how they were just here weeks ago smiling, laughing and
and yes bickering¡K.but more than anything looking forward to their
future. She hadn¡¦t been alone, or felt at all alone then. Now she
feels as though she is the last person left on the earth. Thinking
about facing life alone from this point on,
is too bleak to fathom. They had so many beautiful times,
mouthwatering
moments to be savored forever. And she would cherish them forever.
She doesn¡¦t
kid herself into thinking that someday she¡¦d meet someone new,
because she knows
she wouldn¡¦t be wanting to look forward, a part of her will always be
looking back, no matter how unhealthy or stagnating it is to do that
as Dr. Ash has warned her time
and again. Sorry, Dr. Ash she would be doing just that. Why look for
someone to share her life with when she had already found the perfect
man? She laughs when
she realizes she really believes it now, before when she thought of
Bobby as
the perfect man she always knew that it was in her eyes, it was in
her vision that
she saw the possibility. Of course ¡§perfect man¡¨ was too high an
expectation.
Maybe there needed to be a new word invented to cover what kind of a
man Bobby had become. She smiles as her melancholy eyes see him all
over
again for the first time. His lopsided grin, his unruly hair first
thing in the
morning, his gentle touch, his cranky moods when he is too tired or
not
caffeinated enough. All the little things she has relearned about him
after there separation, the endearing aggravating, life affirming
things
that made him who he is. And of course the NEW old Bobby that has
returned to her heart, the man who listens, and shows compassion,
understanding, and who communicates wholeheartedly withholding
nothing,
and offering everything.

She walks to the tree where they¡¦d played
hide and seek from each other and there own special form of tag. The
one they
invented when every time he caught her or she caught him another
article of clothing
had to be shed. She touches the wizened old tree bark her fingers
dancing over it as if it were some magical wizard that could bring
her those moments again, now.

She sits down quietly memorizing each little place where they¡¦d had
a unique or passionate interlude with each other. She realizes that
trying to do that would keep her here all day, there isn¡¦t one corner
of this oasis that hasn¡¦t been touched in some way with the passionate
energy of their spirits. That was what was always so unique with them
it went way beyond the physical level
of their connection. It was more the union of their souls, the way
they
knew one another on a higher plain a deeper level than either
of them could ever describe. She knows that he always felt it too,
they were like irrevocably tied to each other through some cosmic
force. It was as if they¡¦d known each other from the beginning of time
and were just getting reacquainted on a physical level. Maybe some
day they would meet again, somewhere in this universe she
and Bobby would be together again. Tears fall down her cheek
as she wishes it to be so.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lucy pounds on Dr. Ashe¡¦s front door hoping to God she isn¡¦t home.
Weighing the wrath of Dr. Ash when she finds out that Lucy has fallen
back into her surrogate parent obsession or facing Helen with no new
information. She shakes her head as she imagines one very wild Helen
like Kangaroo chasing her all over Boston and decides to choose
the lesser of two evils as she whole heartedly hits Dr. Ash¡¦s doorbell
with one long forceful push. Fear is a great motivator

Uh oh, she hears noises from inside. She braces herself as the door
swings
open and just her luck Dr. Ash is home. Why doesn¡¦t Helen ever do her
own dirty work!

¡§Hi Lucy¡K..¡¨ Dr. Ash looks a little surprised to find one of her more
eccentric
patients standing at her door.

¡§Hi ya, Dr. Ash.¡¨ Lucy tries not to show how terribly uncomfortable
she is.
¡§Uh I missed my appointment this week.¡¨ She explains feebly.

¡§Yes I know that, are you having an emergency, because you know Lucy
it¡¦s Saturday
that¡¦s why I¡¦m not in my office¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash tries to explain patiently.
She wonders
if she¡¦s going to have to move, she knows how tenacious Lucy can be,
and she has
always dreaded patients spilling into her personal life, of course
Lindsay and Bobby
being the only exception she has ever welcomed.

¡§Look Dr. Ash¡K. I have to talk to you, I ¡K. Oh what¡¦s the use!¡¨ Lucy
throws her
hands up in the air. ¡§The obsession you¡¦ve been helping me with for
the last
few months¡K.. well they¡¦re your patients too!¡¨ Lucy confesses
sadly. ¡§I
guess being a little nuts runs in the family!¡¨

¡§I don¡¦t understand¡K..¡¨ Dr. Ash begins then somehow a lightning bolt
light bulb
hits her over the head and she does understand all too well. ¡§Oh my
God, you
used to work in a law office?¡¨ She questions wanting to make sure she
is
putting two and two together correctly.

¡§Yeah¡K.¡¨ Lucy admits meekly.

¡§Don¡¦t tell me¡K..let me guess¡K..Bobby Donnell and Lindsay Dole?¡¨ She
asks
knowing the answer already. Lucy had always referred to them as proxy
or cardboard Mom and Dad so Dr. Ash had never realized their true
identity.

¡§Yeah¡K.¡¨ Lucy mumbles embarrassed.

¡§Oh no!¡¨ Dr. Ash moans realizing she¡¦d been way to hard on Lucy
because in truth
she should be going to therapy about her involvement with them as
much if
not MORE than Lucy.

Lucy takes Dr. Ash¡¦s momentary shock as an opportunity to plead her
case.
¡§Dr. Ash just hear me out please! It¡¦s NOT my fault Helen Gamble is
ordering
me to do this¡K. I¡¦m innocent! I¡¦m¡K..guilty as hell¡K..¡¨ she relents
all in one
breath. She looks up into Dr. Ash¡¦s eyes hoping for mercy.

¡§Lucy¡K¡K Dr. Ash hesitates but she sees the tortured eyes and decides
just
this once to invite her in.

¡§Come in¡K.. let me get you some tea¡K.. let¡¦s talk about it¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash
placates
her as she realizes she has walked a mile in Lucy¡¦s shoes.

After she gives Lucy her tea and pours one for herself she invites
Lucy to take
a chair in her living room.

¡§So tell me what is it now that has you tied up in knots over this
couple¡K again!¡¨ Dr. Ash is mindful this could turn into a mutual
confession time, but she is determined to keep professional and
objective at all costs.

¡§It¡¦s just they were about to reconcile¡K. I had given up all hope¡K.
you know
I had¡K. I was fine¡K..¡¨ Lucy edges forward in her chair unable to keep
still. ¡§I swear I was! I mean I¡¦d heard that they were dating a
little from Lindsay
but I¡¦d even put that out of my mind¡K. I mean with those too you just
never¡K.
well anyway¡K then Helen comes ¡K I should tell you Helen is Lindsay¡¦s
best
friend and Bobby¡¦s worst nightmare¡K¡¨

¡§Lucy I know¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash stops herself in the nick of time she was
just about to divulge patient information! She straightens her back
trying to still her emotions so she can remain professional.
¡§Lindsay¡¦s my patient, remember?¡¨ Dr. Ash reminds her
gently in an effort to stop the sarcastic comments.

¡§Ok, so anyway she comes into my office. See, I was minding my own
business
just trying to get my work done, and in blows in this force beyond
nature¡K because
believe me Helen is anything but natural!¡¨ Lucy rambles. ¡§She¡¦s like
a cat
with claw¡K¡¨

¡§Lucy¡K I get the picture¡K Helen paid you a visit¡Kwhat did she want?¡¨

¡§Well I swear¡KI all but held a cross and garlic up to her to get her
to stop
but there was no stopping her, you don¡¦t know her! When she¡¦s out
for blood you just tilt your head and let her bite you! She¡¦s got some
kind of weird power that just sucks you in¡K.¡¨

¡§Really and I suppose you have no idea what that feels like to be
that tenacious?¡¨ Dr. Ash
can¡¦t resist a bringing a little truth to Lucy¡¦s awareness. Of course
it sails right over Lucy¡¦s head as usual.

¡§So she tells me all about how Bobby and Lindsay were so close to
reconciling
and how Lindsay is having an affair with some two bit author who
has written all about her and¡K. I don¡¦t know exactly what happened
but I bet Bobby found out about it and kicked Lindsay to the curb
again
and of course Lindsay doesn¡¦t love the writer she loves Bobby and for
some insane reason she turned her back on him and now we think she¡¦s
run off somewhere and Bobby is probably on the take with some
corrupt judge again and they are on to him at the courthouse and he¡¦s
probably going to be arrested and put in jail at any moment¡K and if he
goes to jail and Lindsay is never found what will happen to that
precious
little boy, he could end up in foster care and get lost in the system¡K
the grandparents are all getting archaic and so what will become of
him!¡¨
Lucy¡¦s eyes tear up and she wrings her hands hopelessly, gulping for
air after the no-breath-taking-explanation.

Dr. Ash¡¦s eyes practically pop out of her head as she listens to the
tale
Lucy is spinning. Bobby kicking Lindsay to the curb that¡¦s a good one!
Thank God she knows most of it is a figment of Lucy¡¦s
over active imagination. It has to be¡K Dr. Ash¡¦s mind begins the spin
cycle. What if the last part is true about Bobby going to jail? Of
course its NOT!

¡§Lucy¡K.can we just¡K.slow down.¡¨ Dr. Ash asked knowing slowing Lucy
was tantamount stopping a steroid popping athlete.

¡§Ok, I know this isn¡¦t making any sense¡K.and I know you can¡¦t tell
me anything about Lindsay or Bobby and their private sessions¡Kbut Dr.
Ash
you have to give me something here¡Kbecause we have to protect
Bobby, and maybe¡K if he¡¦s in some kind of trouble we need to help
him now!¡¨

¡§I understand ¡K.Lucy are you sure Bobby¡¦s in trouble?¡¨ Dr. Ash
has never detected any sign that Bobby is doing something
underhanded.
The man she has come to know and seen accomplish such substantial
personal growth
would never do anything to put his little family in jeopardy again.

¡§I don¡¦t know!¡¨ Lucy slams the arm of her chair with the force of
emotion
she is feeling. ¡§That¡¦s why you have to tell us! Is there anything
that Lindsay has said to you to indicate she is angry with Bobby or
suspects him of criminal behavior other than his usual side stepping
of the rules¡Kand an occasional black mail
threat¡K.to a client here and there and of course¡K. that one little
time
he enlisted a hit man¡¦s help¡K.¡¨ Lucy asks scrunching her face a
little as she divulges
a few more painful secrets to Dr. Ash about her surrogate father.

¡§Lucy! You know I can¡¦t speak¡K.¡¨

Suddenly Lucy¡¦s cell phones rings¡K interrupting Dr. Ash and
nearly ejecting Lucy from her chair.

¡§What are you sure¡K? When? He¡¦s there now?¡¨ Where is he?
What room?¡¨ Lucy hides her face from Dr. Ash as she growls into the
phone.

¡§What do you mean you don¡¦t know! What did I say? YOU were supposed
to have someone follow him and why did you wait so long to call me?¡¨
It doesn¡¦t matter if you had a long line of possible gun toting
criminals behind him, and don¡¦t give me that excuse Clyde it¡¦s
SATURDAY!
There aren¡¦t that many people there on SATURDAY!¡¨
¡§You were supposed to be on top of this¡K. I KNEW I should have
watched for him myself! Yes¡KYes¡K.well you call me the minute he
leaves¡K.or if you see any unusual action going on¡K.like a bunch of
reporters or police cars¡K. YES I know there are always lots of police
cars at the court house Clyde¡K.but JUST DO IT! And call
me as soon as you find out where HE IS!¡¨

Lucy slams the phone shut¡K..then with crazed expression and without
explanation
reopens it as quickly poking in a number on her speed dial. Dr. Ash
sits there
quietly, and curiously observing every word she hears trying to
fathom that Bobby could be arrested at any moment. She feels
like she is in the middle of an I Am Crazy Lucy movie as a poor
innocent bystander,
or a one-day extra that is being swooped into the vortex of something
she can¡¦t even describe in words. She never signed up to join this
film yet
she can¡¦t seem to find the stage¡¦s exit door.

¡§HELEN! It¡¦s me! Lucy voice is agitated. ¡§RED ALERT! RED ALERT!!!!¡¨
she screams into the phone.

Helen eyes open wide as she hears the urgency in Lucy¡¦s voice.
¡§He¡¦s at the courthouse¡K..ON A SATURDAY! OH God it¡¦s
worse than I thought!¡¨ Helen is searching under the table for her
shoes with her
nylon clad feet poking, prodding and finally accomplishing their task
her shaking free hand swoops up her purse as she continues
interrogating
Lucy.

¡§How long has he been there Lucy?¡¨ Where is he?¡¨ Helen
expects an answer.

¡§I don¡¦t know I don¡¦t know somehow things got fowled up¡K.and
I¡¦ll meet you there Helen!¡¨ Lucy promises.

¡§OH NO YOU WON¡¦T!¡¨ Helen snaps back. ¡§Listen Lucy
the last thing we need is an army marching in to the rescue¡K.
I want to do this quietly¡K.do you understand¡K.Lucy you need
to get Eugene NOW! Go to the offices¡K you know he always
works on Saturday and Sunday! If anyone else is there
go take him aside QUIETLY!¡¨ Helen screams out the quietly to
emphasize
the importance of her instructions.

¡§DO YOU HEAR ME LUCY!¡¨

¡§I think they heard that in Antarctica!¡¨ Lucy exclaims disappointed
she has to be the errand girl once again and may miss all the action.

¡§Listen to me! Helen scolds. ¡§We need discretion here! We don¡¦t know
what Bobby has
done now, or even if he has¡K and we don¡¦t want to alert the media or
tip our hand
to anyone ¡Kdo you understand Lucy¡Kwalk in casually, talk to Eugene and
get him to go to the courthouse¡K JUST Eugene¡K NO ONE ELSE!
Bobby is going to need him, Bobby trusts him! YOU have to come
through for Bobby
Lucy¡K do you copy!¡¨ Helen stomps a heeled foot to the floor as she
asks.

¡§Yes but why can¡¦t I come with Eugene¡K Bobby I¡¦m¡Khis¡K¡¨

¡§NO! Stay away¡K that¡¦s all! NOW GO! We have no time to lose!¡¨
Helen informs her as she runs out of the house, she yells to Mike
some unintelligible information as her front door slams shut behind
her.
&&&&&&&
Dr. Ash sees Lucy gathering her things she caught just enough
conversation
to know that Bobby is at the courthouse and something is going down
there.
Lucy looks at her apologetically yelling as she runs out¡K¡¨Sorry Dr.
Ash
I¡¦ll see you on Wednesday¡K uh maybe sooner if this day goes the way
I think it will!¡¨ Lucy is gone in a flash.

Dr. Ash makes a snap decision while talking to herself she grabs
her car keys.

¡§I know you should be home taking care of your personal life. I know
you should be staying out of this and behaving like the wonderful
psychiatrist you used to be¡K.but you know that if Bobby is in trouble
he may need to talk and who is better than his therapist.¡¨ She reasons
to herself as she peels out of her driveway.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lucy enters what used to be Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt¡K.
she ignores the new names and order on the door because for
her it will always be what it was. Bobby¡¦s. Always his and only
his. Damn! Why did life have to get so complicated?

Now Bobby would be going down the river for who knows how long! The
tears again form in the corner of her eyes¡K.but she can¡¦t be
distracted by emotions
now she is on a mission she must do her duty. As she walks into
the main bull pin of desks she is surprised to find everyone but
Jamie and Bec are hard at work. Eugene is handing some papers
to Ellenor, while Jimmy is furiously typing something into a
computer. And suddenly
it¡¦s as though she has gone back in time, where all of them knew
everything
about the other. It was like a family then and Family sticks by one
another.
That¡¦s the way it had always been and the way it should be NOW!
All thoughts or any intentions of trying to follow Helen¡¦s orders of
discretion or secrecy has left the building of Lucy¡¦s mind.

They¡¦ve all been in this together from the beginning it¡¦s fitting
and just that they are included now! What did Helen know anyway!
It takes an army sometimes, or a village or an ant farm or some
dammed thing.

¡§BOBBY¡¦S in terrible trouble and we have to get to the courthouse
NOW!¡¨ Lucy bellows without a hello how ya doing.

The three old friends stand shell shocked. Where in the hell
did Lucy come from and what is she talking about goes simultaneously
through their brains.

Then as the norm they all start talking at once¡Kso no one has a clue
as to what anyone is saying.

¡§What are you doing here?¡¨ Eugene asks curiously.

¡§What about Bobby?¡¨ Jimmy eyes squint.

¡§Have you been drinking Lucy?¡¨ Ellenor is ready to dismiss her
dramatic entrance
instantly.

¡§So what else is new?¡¨ Eugene decides it¡¦s gotta be a joke. There¡¦s
NO way Bobby can be in trouble again, it just doesn¡¦t happen to the
same person that many times. Does it?

¡§There she goes again exaggerating everything!¡¨ Ellenor clucks.

Lucy puts a couple of finger to her mouth blowing a loud shrill
whistle¡K.¡¨Look
I¡¦ll explain on the way¡K.we have to get there NOW! REALLY I¡¦m not
kidding I promise!¡¨ Lucy¡¦s eyes implore them to hear her and know she
isn¡¦t lying or being overly dramatic for once.

The questions and hesitations come to a halt when they realize
it¡¦s once again all for one and one all and that requires immediate
action.

¡§I¡¦ll drive!¡¨ Ellenor offers. ¡§We can take one car that way!¡¨

¡§You always get to drive!¡¨ Jimmy grumbles as he straightens his tie.
¡§And like a bat out of hell!¡¨ Jimmy mumbles under his breath.

¡§It¡¦s a minivan Jimmy we¡¦ll all fit!¡¨ Ellenor snipes back.

¡§Come on you two knock it off¡K.someone needs to call Bec.¡¨
Eugene instructs, remaining level-headed. Lucy follows them out
actually feeling a bit of a rush experiencing being in their company
again
and filled with a united purpose. She¡¦d missed them all so much!

As they are speeding towards the courthouse Jimmy dials Bec¡¦s cell
phone.

¡§Bec when you get this message you need to head immediately to the
court house Bobby¡¦s in trouble and it¡¦s a matter of life and death!¡¨
Jimmy says unsure of how urgent things really are, with Lucy you can
never tell for sure, but better
to be safe than sorry.

¡§Good Jimmy give the woman a heart attack!¡¨ Ellenor grumbles
chastising him
as she delights in doing on a daily basis.

¡§Well for all we know it could be!¡¨ Jimmy defends himself.

Ellenor is breaking her speeding record and Jimmy hangs onto the dash
¡§Slow down before you get us all killed!¡¨

¡§Jimmy if you¡¦re going to be a back seat driver SIT in the BACK SEAT
NEXT TIME!¡¨ Ellenor growls totally ignoring his advice.

¡§You¡¦re just RUDE ELLENOR!¡¨ Jimmy snarls as he holds tighter to the
dash.

¡§Lucy why don¡¦t you explain what this is all about NOW!¡¨ Eugene
orders as
he settles uncomfortably next to Zoey¡¦s car seat.
&&&&&&&
Lindsay is back at the cottage. She knows she is going to need a lot
of strength to get through this last night here. So she figures what
better way to
do it than to fortify herself with some wine. She takes a sip from
the
plentifully filled glass as she looks around the familiar kitchen.
She takes another big gulp as she realizes how many memories are in
this one room. Okay, so she knows the memories are in her heart¡K.but
seeing the rooms, standing in them makes it feels as though it¡¦s all
happening
again. All the meals they prepared in companionable silence, or the
teasing, harassing
bantering fun they had challenging one another¡¦s cooking skills which
of course
had always led to challenging more intimate expertise to come later,
upstairs.

She can¡¦t stay here. They¡¦d made love in here too. There isn¡¦t any
place
that doesn¡¦t hold their unified vibration. She gives up maybe it will
get easier,
take the bottle and head to the living room. It can¡¦t be this bad
everywhere in the house?
Can it? Of course it can. She knows she should have eaten because she
feels the effects
of the wine a little in her head. But she knows she can¡¦t eat
anything because it would
turn to pure acid the minute it hit her stomach. The wine was for her
nerves. Truth
be told she is one sorry coward when it comes to saying farewell to
Bobby Donnell.
No. She¡¦d been a sorry coward when it came to anything about Bobby.
Even
in admitting she loved him in the first place she was an utterly
spineless chicken.

She settles into the overstuffed chair in the living room gazing into
the
crackling fire, lost in remembering all the times she had backed away
from divulging those feelings. She was so afraid to tell him she had
them and once she did she was deathly afraid he would never return
them. What a fool! So much wasted time. If she had known how fast
the time would go and how short an interlude they would have, would
she have made all the same mistakes?

Probably.

She is still a coward. Really! I mean why hadn¡¦t she just taken the
high road and confronted Bobby about not telling her that he was
being considered to be a judge. Why didn¡¦t he tell her? Did he feel a
little like the committee did, that maybe she would
deter his career? It hurt. It hurt because he left her out once
again. She doesn¡¦t understand why he never even mentioned it. At
least he could have told her that he was being considered even if he
didn¡¦t want to divulge she was the reason he would never get it.
She gets why he wouldn¡¦t tell her that part, but the whole idea
of him being offered something so monumental, something
he¡¦s always dreamed of; to have that happen and NOT breathe
a word of it? That didn¡¦t mesh with her new Bobby at all. He should
have said something.

She remembers the vow they made before leaving Laharve that last
day. They promised that NOTHING would interfere with them
keeping open lines of communication. They swore they would
not clam up again. Keeping quiet was the deal breaker last time.
They¡¦d had new a deal, a deal he¡¦d already broken They were
supposed to tell one another everything and when he didn¡¦t, she took
it as the opportunity to get out. Was her motivation not completely
altruistic
after all? Was it the fear that the lines of communication were
already
blocked that had her rationalizing that she was sacrificing it all
for him?
Or was there a small part of truth that she was on the run as Bobby
and
Dr. Ash had accused? Was she scared to death to try again? She made
the decision too fast once again. Just like getting the divorce,
recklessly on the heels of a barely ink-
-dried-on- the-papers separation. She back pedaled then, and here
she is, mentally back-pedaling again now. She can¡¦t go back!
What¡¦s done is done.

Did she do it gracefully and without subterfuge?
NO. Maybe she hasn¡¦t grown up at all! What if she had told him? She
knows
what he would say he didn¡¦t care about the job¡K. he would have down
played
it and lost it, being humiliated in the process and she would have
blamed herself forever And at some point he would too. NO. She did
the ONLY thing she could do. She hated having to hurt him, she¡¦d
never wanted to do that again, she felt cruel shoving Ross in his
face she knew it was wrong but she knew Bobby and he would never back
off he thought there was the slightest chance. This way is better for
everyone. She knows she doesn¡¦t
really have much time and one night is all that is left¡K..going up to
the bedroom
had to be done¡K now in the daylight¡K. she couldn¡¦t stand to be there
at night.
She grabs the bottle taking a deep breath refills the empty glass.
Taking one
last look into the fire she sees them again, Bobby embracing her as
they
slip down into the downy blankets spread in front of the fireplace
the warm glow of the flames only igniting the passions inside, his
soft
moist kisses on her neck the soft tender intimate words they¡¦d shared
punctuated by sweet laughter, and then at last echoing ah¡¦s of
rapture and
fulfillment. She forces herself to ascend the stairs leaving the
images to
flicker out with the fire.

As she enters the room she stops as more images intertwine, seeing
all the beautiful nights meld together, candlelight interspersed with
music and silken gowns falling off her body as his fingers caressed
her flesh, and his kisses christened her his. She loved being his.
She loved calling him hers.

Her fingers go up to the delicate chain around her neck she pulls
the wedding rings out dangling them as the sunrays glowing through
the window
capture their sparkle. She sips some more of the second glass of wine
as she steps closer to the window letting the rings fall back to her
chest, jingling slightly as they brush each other. She opens the
window raising it to the maximum height. This is the
place she loves to hang out, she could sit here for hours watching
nature,
looking at the majestic trees and the iridescent water, drinking in
the
ambiance of this beautiful healing vista. They had planned to add a
balcony right here so they could have their morning coffee while
drinking in the peaceful serenity that surrounded Laharve. But that
plan like all the others was over.

She grasps the maroon filled glass planting
herself on the wide ledge gingerly inching her body out so she is
almost completely on the outside of the house. She absently plays
with the rings again trying to look down at them but the chain isn¡¦t
quite long enough and in her effort to do so she spills a substantial
amount of the permanent red staining liquid. ¡§Damn!¡¨ She exclaims as
she sets the glass down on the ledge. ¡§Oh well saying goodbye to a
piece of clothing is nothing¡K.¡¨ She dismisses the stain as more of
the blot that has encompassed her life. She remembers her intention
of looking at the rings. There is only one way to do that
effectively. She unclasps the chain and releases the rings pouring
them into her palm¡K. Looking at them again brings back more
undeniably sweet remembrances.

¡¥Marry ME¡¦ She smiles as she relives the shocked surprise Bobby¡¦s
words
invoked. She was laying flat on her back in that hospital bed, so
happy
to be alive and euphoric over having him by her side. They hadn¡¦t been
together as a couple for long, and she never expected him to say those
words, at least not that soon.

She knows there was no other answer than the one she gave. She wanted
to
marry him the day she met him. She wanted to be married to him
forever.
Tears hit the single perfect diamond causing the facets to sparkle
even
more brilliantly. Their clarity mocks her confusion yet she can¡¦t
stop looking at
them because the rings and memories is all she has left of her
dreams. How
does she make new ones now? How can you take a dream and change it
when you don¡¦t even want to? She reminds herself she has their son but
someday he won¡¦t be with her all the time¡K then what? She can¡¦t allow
her thinking to go that far ahead because it brings on a whole new
lonely
feeling she isn¡¦t about to experience yet even in her imagination.

She¡¦s glad she has a few hours to sit here and just be¡K she decides to
stop trying to think so much and just let things flow. ¡§That¡¦s it
Lindsay stop the spinning everything is out of your control. You¡¦ve
put
all of this into motion and now its done. Let it be. Let Bobby be.
You will always be married in your heart.¡¨ She tries to get her
heart to accept its fate as she holds the rings lovingly between her
fingers. She can¡¦t resist the urge to put them on one more time. She
wants
to bask for just an infinitesimal moment in what it felt like to be
his wife.
ONE LAST TIME she promises herself.

But as her habitual luck would have it fate has other ideas. As she
tries to slide
the plain band on to her finger she feels a little dizzy, never drink
on
an empty stomach she admonishes silently. Another wave of light
headedness
hits and she looses her balance slightly on the ledge and
with the unsettling motion her rings fall rolling quickly down her
leg and onto
the sloping roof. Lindsay spastically tries to catch them but in
vain. She watches in horror as she sees them slipping away powerless
to stop them and paralyzed by the symbolic truth that her life with
Bobby has slipped away too.

She holds her breath watching their wayward decent. She knows if they
fall to the ground she may never get them back. But to her relief the
two rings somehow miraculously stop their freefall. The diamond one
getting stuck
on a small jagged edge of a roof tile the wedding band lodging into a
little
crevice where a corner of tile is missing. Funny, how they both
managed to keep from crashing to the ground.

Lindsay only hopes she can do the same while trying to retrieve them.
She has to, she can¡¦t leave them there. She doesn¡¦t think twice about
it,
because sub-consciously she is rescuing her marriage, her life with
Bobby.
She can¡¦t let it go so easily. A part of her is determined to salvage
it
as much now as before, so she moves without hesitation making her way
slowly
onto the roof, standing on the inclined tiles wishing she had thought
to discard her heeled
shoes before embarking on this incredibly stupid mission. As she
tries to come
up with the safest plan possible to rescue her lost rings her body is
suddenly jarred
by the thundering sound of the window crashing down. She watches
in shock as the wine glass splinters into hundreds of pieces, the
shattering, shards of
fragile crystal fly in all directions wine spraying on the thankfully
in tact window
and all over the bedroom carpet.

Lindsay stares at the window in disbelief. How in the hell¡K. she
could have been
sitting under it! And then she sees that some fragments of glass have
fallen around her feet. Good thing she didn¡¦t take off those heels
after all. ¡§Ok, NOW what?¡¨ She decides
getting the window open will be more important for the moment than
rescuing her rings. She spied some suspicious clouds off in the
distance earlier
and knows she has no intention of spending much more time out on the
roof.
She inches towards the window planting her feet firmly and securely
before
bending down. She places her hands on either side she gives
it a mighty push. Adrenaline mixed with frazzled nerves should help
to accomplish it in no time. But NO! This is the joys of an old
house. The windows become quite stubborn with age, and it, like
everything else was on the list to
be replaced. Never put off today¡K. she thinks sarcastically as she
tries
again and again to lift it with no luck.

¡§Ok, stay calm. You¡¦re fine. So you¡¦re on a roof¡K you lost your
rings¡K.
on a roof¡K a storm could come at any time. You hate storms but
hey compared to everything else it¡¦s no big deal¡K I mean who hasn¡¦t
this happened to?¡¨

Lindsay is still keeping herself company with the sound of her
own voice. ¡§I¡¦m here, I¡¦m not going anywhere¡K. I might as well
try to get the rings¡K. the word rings brings her mind renewed hope
as she thinks of another kind of ring¡K she searches her pocket for
the cell phone but as she looks longingly into the bedroom she sees
it sitting ever so safely on her dresser. ¡§Good thinking Lindsay!¡¨
And of course you told Claire you turned it off so Bobby couldn¡¦t
find you, so now, the chances of her thinking anything is wrong
if she should try to call just went down the tubes.¡¨

¡§Okay Plan B¡Kyeah. that¡¦s never gotten you in any trouble!¡¨ She
grumbles unhappily.

Deciding when you are on the roof there are not enough options to
even get to a plan B,
Lindsay¡¦s thought go on another hopeful direction ¡§OK think Lindsay¡K.
maybe Claire or Sam will come by, they know she¡¦s here¡K.but no they
will respect her privacy. They know why she is here and that she
wanted this time all alone! Smart! Oh brother¡K what
in the HELL made her come here anyway! This is the worst
thing she could have done! She is determined not to let this get her
down
she is strong she can handle this! What¡¦s a little time on a roof
with nothing to keep
you company but your memories and a couple of runaway rings! She
knows just
how to handle this! She does what any red blooded, frustrated,
slightly inebriated woman would do she sits down on a glassless patch
of roof and calmly and methodically cries her eyes out.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby has entered Judge Hiller¡¦s courtroom. He¡¦d just left her office
a few minutes
ago, and he needs some time to think quietly. He knew this could
happen but he needs
a few moments to let it sink in. The peaceful pin-dropping silence of
the empty room does nothing to calm him inside. He¡¦s still only half
focused on what transpired in Judge Hiller¡¦s office. He can¡¦t¡¦ stop
thinking about Lindsay. He wants to see her so badly. He wants to
talk to her, he needs her. He sinks into the chair deciding that his
legs feel
too wobbly to stand for much longer.

Okay Bobby, this is it, you have to figure out why she left you and
if there is anything
you¡¦ve missed in those way to revealing tapes or the book. Ross is
sure there is something, and somehow Bobby knows he is right. But
what is it? There¡¦s got to be at least ONE clue! He can barely still
his thoughts enough to focus on one anything. So he sits there just
trying to still his reeling head. He doesn¡¦t hear the distant sirens
whirling outside or the running stampede of feet parading down the
corridor. He doesn¡¦t notice anything. He has his eyes are closed in
deep contemplation and any outside noise just blends into the roar in
his head.

That is until the courtroom door crashes open and Helen comes rushing
through it.

That and the fact when she sees him she begins screaming his name and
gesturing wildly
with her hands. ¡§BOBBY! BOBBY! BOBBY! YOUR NOT ALONE YOU CAN TELL
ME EVERYTHING!¡¨

¡§What in the hell!¡¨ Bobby stands up quickly to find Helen shaking his
shoulders
as if she is trying to get him to come too consciousness from a deep
coma induced state. ¡§Bobby for GOD¡¨S SAKES TELL ME WHAT YOU
DID¡K.BEFORE THEY COME! I KNOW WE CAN GET YOU OUT OF THIS¡KBUT THEY¡¦RE
COMING BOBBY THEY¡¦RE COMING¡K.!!!!!¡¨ Helen warns him emphatically.

¡§Who¡¦s coming? The men in their little white coats to take you away?¡¨
Bobby steps
out of her grasp dusting himself off distastefully, finding it hard
to believe he ever enjoyed Helens¡¦ frantic embraces.

¡§Bobby I¡¦m trying to help YOU here the least you can do is
cooperate!¡¨ Helen
snaps not finding his reaction very appreciate at all!

¡§Help me with what?¡¨ Suddenly Bobby thinks maybe Helen has something
he
does want. ¡§Do you know where Lindsay is? Are YOU not telling
me because she told you not too?¡¨ He asked desperate for any light
she can shed on that subject.

¡§NO!¡¨ Helen shakes her head emphatically.

¡§HELEN if you do I swear!¡¨ Bobby threatens.

¡§I SWEAR BOBBY I DON¡¦T KNOW!¡¨ Helen practically growls back.

Bobby goes silent for a moment giving Helen the chance to get back to
the more serious matter at hand.

¡§Bobby YOU need to FOCUS on YOU!¡¨
She is determined to let her help him, and she will! God knows
she¡¦s done it a thousand times and somehow she will once again if
it¡¦s the last
thing she does.

Bobby is used to Helen¡¦s drama so he¡¦s choosing to ignore it as
usual.
¡§Well have you looked for her, who have you called?¡¨ Bobby asks
insisting on getting his answers and if anyone knows how to
interrogate better
than Helen, it¡¦s Bobby.

¡§What?¡¨ Helen had met her match. She could tell by the set of Bobby¡¦s
jaw he would be giving her NOTHING until he obtained his information.

¡§WHO have you called to find Lindsay?¡¨

¡§How do you even know I know she¡¦s missing?¡¨ Helen asks forgetting
that
she¡¦s admitting it now, herself.

¡§Ah HA! You admit it?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s really upset now, if Helen doesn¡¦t
know where
she is who the hell does? How long has she been gone? Who have you
called?
Did you check with her brother? I haven¡¦t been able to get him?¡¨ Bobby
asked more anxious than ever to find Lindsay and his son.

¡§Bobby this isn¡¦t the issue!¡¨ YOU ARE! Now¡K¡¨ Helen feels Bobby¡¦ hands
grip her shoulders hard and his eyes roar into hers sending a chill
of intimidation
through her.

¡§Who HAVE YOU CALLED? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s a force
to be reckoned with, of course most desperate criminals are. Helen
decides
it¡¦s best to humor him although humor is the farthest thing from his
face
she¡¦s ever seen.

¡§I called her mom, her sister Grace, I called her aunt in Cleveland,
I couldn¡¦t get
Ben either and oh yeah I called Claire and Sam¡¦s.¡¨ Helen confesses in
one breath
afraid to keep him waiting too long.

¡§What did they say?¡¨ Bobby keeps his cross examination short but
stern. His ears
are pealed for any slight discrepancy in Helen¡¦s testimony.

¡§Her mom confirmed she left town with Bobby Jr. but didn¡¦t know where
she was going.
Her sister Grace said she hadn¡¦t heard anything, and Aunt Mable, in
Cleveland hadn¡¦t heard from her either but she has been having
trouble with her arthritis and needs some cat food¡K¡¨ Helen¡¦s voice
trails.

¡§What did Claire say?¡¨ Bobby asks his voice rising as he hears he is
no closer to finding her.

¡§Uh¡KIt was Sam, Claire was busy and he was weird as usual¡K I think he
said there was no one here but us chickens!¡¨ Helen eyes bulge as she
relives her first reaction to that very strange comment.

Bobby shakes his head in disappointed disgust. Damn no one knows
anything? And
what is it with Sam and those damn chickens! Anyone else?¡¨ Bobby ask
less
forcefully. Obviously Lindsay has no intention of being found.

¡§NO! Helen does a vulture like circle around Bobby. ¡§How can you be
thinking about her at a time like this! FOCUS Bobby you¡¦re life is
about to change forever! They are coming I tell you! NOW!¡¨ Helen
warns him in hushed more aggravated tones realizing her instructions
to Lucy about being discreet might be good for her to follow too.

¡§I have no idea what you¡¦re talking about Helen¡K¡¨ Bobby tries to be
patient
because God knows Helen has done him more than a few favors over the
years and he
figures there must be reason she is so worked up. But damn why
doesn¡¦t anyone
seem to know where Lindsay is?

¡§But YOU know YOU do Bobby confess it¡¦s okay we all do things¡K YOU
and Lindsay
more than anyone I¡¦ve ever known but¡K¡¨ Helen tries her softest
sweetest approach hoping he will finally see the light!

Ross can¡¦t wait outside any longer Helen called him to meet her
there, but she has
ordered him to stay outside. He¡¦s been eavesdropping and he can tell
that
this situation needs a clear headed objective voice to get Bobby to
see reason.
He comes out of his hiding spot just behind the courtroom door.

¡§Look Bobby Lindsay will forgive you for anything!¡¨ Ross steps
in determined to get Bobby to fess up. His finger points at
Bobby and his eyes spark accusingly.

Bobby turns on a dime at the sound of Ross¡¦s voice seeing scarlet.

¡§I DIDN¡¦T DO ANYTHING SHE HAS TO FORGIVE!¡¨ He¡¦s not about
to let Ross make him the bad guy anymore! ¡§What the HELL have you
TOLD HER?¡¨
Bobby can just imagine the story Ross must have spun to make Lindsay
think Bobby needed forgiving!

¡§If that¡¦s the truth then why are you in trouble?¡¨ Ross asks
doubtfully, totally unaware
he¡¦s actually allowed himself to be swept up in Hurricane Helen and he
has in truth forgotten to base his conclusions on cold hard facts.

¡§I told you I¡¦m NOT!¡¨

¡§Look Bobby listen! Lindsay¡K You¡¦re THE MAN OF HER DREAMS¡K GOD knows
why¡K. But she¡¦d do anything for you! Never doubt it!¡¨ Ross informs
him on no uncertain terms.

¡§You don¡¦t need to tell me about my wife¡¦s dreams!¡¨ Bobby can¡¦t help
it
he knows Ross is a good guy, but this good guy slept with HIS wife!
And
from the revelations on those tapes he¡¦s been privy to those dreams
just
a little too much for Bobby¡¦s liking. Damn when is this feeling of
wanting
to crush him into pulp going to go away? Bobby takes a long deep
determined breath to compose himself.

Helen and Ross wait expectantly eager to hear his lurid confession.

His eyes ping pong from Helen¡¦s to Ross¡¦s trying to make sense
of whatever it is they are insinuating.
¡§You¡¦re both out of YOUR minds!¡¨ Bobby decides stating his conclusion
loudly.

What happened to his moment of peace and quiet? Why are these too
lunatics even here?

¡§Bobby throwing the attention off YOURSELF on us isn¡¦t going to
work!¡¨ Helen
insists folding her arms determinedly.

¡§Your NOT helping Lindsay or Bobby Jr. by refusing to cooperate!¡¨ Ross
instructs him appearing as though he¡¦s actually empathetic.

THAT¡¦S! IT! Hearing his sons name uttered by that marriage-
wrecking
second rate author! Okay so he¡¦s an absolutely talented writer Bobby
dismisses
that fact in favor of hating this southern drawling nemesis whose
brought so much pain and chaos to their lives.

He¡¦s been as nice as he can, for as long as he can. Yes, he believes
in calm compassion and understanding these days¡K Dr. Ash told him he
has to. And he can count
to ten with the best of the mad beasts, but this? Ross telling him
about Lindsay and his SON? And exactly where does he get off talking
about Lindsay dreams! Bobby knows her dreams Bobby knows her
completely only HE knows her that way! No matter what the tapes
exposed his soul knows her better than anyone else. Same goes for
him, only Lindsay knows him that deeply. He wants Ross to go away!
What the hell is he doing here preaching to him about HIS OWN
WIFE! ¡§Why don¡¦t you go teach that damn bird of YOURS some manners
and stay the HELL away from me and MY FAMILY!¡¨ Bobby growls about
ready to hit something again. So much for anger
management.

He sees Helen and Ross have NO intention of going anywhere. They both
look like they¡¦ve come upon some poor homeless beggar and they
are JUST waiting for him to beg so they can clobber him with
kindness.

Bobby throws his hands out in frustration.
¡§Look I don¡¦t know what you think, or what you two are even doing
here¡K together?¡¨
Bobby questions this alliance. Ross and Helen! Talk about a lethal
combination!
¡§You better tell me fast what this is all about before I call
Harvey¡¦s Happy Home to
come and take YOU BOTH away Helen!¡¨ Bobby orders angrily.

¡§BOBBY YOU¡¦RE the one who is about to be carted away¡K¡¨ Helen¡¦s tirade
is interrupted by the intrusion of four more very agitated people
running into the room, all
huffing and puffing as if they have run the Boston marathon and just
crossed
the finish line in a pack coming in first, all at the same time.
There¡¦s a kind of combative air about them trying to shove their way
in and get close to Bobby as they can. Bobby¡¦s
eyebrows furrow as he tries to comprehend this entirely bizarre turn
of events.

Bobby looks at them all like aliens who have landed from another
planet. What
the hell is everyone doing here? ¡§WHAT¡¦S GOIN¡¦ ON!¡¨ He yells in an old
all too familiar voice. Aged habits die hard and it was always
effective before.
¡§DON¡¦T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO!¡¨ His eyes roll in confusion.

For a split second the former office pals all go back in time to that
endearingly familiar daily routine, where their beloved boss comes
out to tell them to stop chattering
and gossiping and get back to work!

Then as always they start yelling. Insults fly along with sarcasm and
everyone tries to
get a word in edgewise simultaneously.

¡§ I thought you were in trouble¡K?¡¨ Eugene says loudly but calmly.

¡§No¡K¡¨ Bobby denies still having no clue

¡§You were supposed to be practically dead!¡¨ Jimmy informs him. As he
looks around for a swat team or at least some blood.

¡§Yeah Lucy has one screw loose as usual thinking you were on the take
from some corrupted judge!¡¨ Ellenor shouts over the others.

¡§I did NOT say he was on the take I said he could be.¡¨ Lucy says
correctively and
more loudly drowning out the end of Ellenor¡¦s tirade.

¡§He¡¦s in denial!¡¨ Helen growls emphatically

¡§Bobby if you¡¦re in denial we need to talk!¡¨ Dr. Ash¡¦s voice joins
into the
clamoring herd.

¡§Do you really think he¡¦s going to admit he¡¦s on the TAKE?¡¨ Jimmy asks
no one in particular.

When did Dr. Ash come in? Bobby does a double take and a triple take
as he
absorbs that all of his friends think they have come to rescue him
from apparently
some dreaded fate he has brought upon himself.

¡§Bobby we¡¦re all here to help you. I¡¦m sure we can make a plea
bargain and get a reduced sentence.¡¨ Mikes calming voice soothes the
maddening
crowd. Helen turns in adoring affection because she knows he followed
her here.
He walks up to Helen putting his arm protectively around her
shoulders.

¡§On the take!¡¨ Bobby shakes head his blue eyes confused and his mind
reeling
with the fact that everyone is here and totally convinced he has
committed some
reprehensible crime. Great¡K with friends like these¡K¡¨I¡¦m NOT
ON THE TAKE!¡¨ His voice emphasizes each word as his eyes do an
accusing
dance at all of them, they become the steel blue they turn when he is
MOST
determined to have things seen his way! He shakes his head enjoying
the
silence his booming voice created.

Then to his horror the I-gotta-out-yell-everyone-else din begins all
over again.

¡§YES you are, you have to be! Lucy says almost disappointed.

¡§Now Bobby if you¡¦re in over your head as usual¡K¡¨ Eugene tries to
placate him loudly
enough to be heard.

¡§Yes Bobby I mean look at what we did for Lindsay¡K if we can get her
out of
jail¡Kafter what she did!...¡¨ Ellenor assures him. ¡§You know we¡¦re
your best chance¡K Why in God¡¦s name didn¡¦t you come to us in the
first place!¡¨ Ellenor groans
like a disheartened mother.

¡§We¡¦ll get you off!¡¨
They say in unison but the garbled loud assurance is more like
a bunch of hyenas screaming and Bobby can¡¦t stand it anymore. In the
midst of it
all he sees someone else entering the courtroom and he decides to get
everyone
to shut up just so he can find out from her what is really going on.

¡§ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¨ His loud voice thunders
silencing them effectively
as it always had at least for a few seconds.

¡§Bec, thank GOD! What the hell is going on with them?¡¨
Bobby asks shaking his head.

Bec approaches the eclectic sea of faces her eyes focused on Bobby¡¦s
only.
Good he¡¦s in one piece and he¡¦s yelling as usual, not TOO much can be
wrong.
Of course the relief she feels after the high speed rush to the
courthouse is
followed by white hot anger. Why in the hell is she even here?
¡§You¡¦re asking me? I have no idea¡K I got a call you were in dire
trouble¡K. what
have u gotten yourself into now?¡¨ Bec asks folding her arms like a
scolding parent
and joining in the accusations.

¡§E tu Bec?¡¨ Bobby asks¡K. running his hands through his hair in
remembered
frustration that this was one of the reasons he needed a break from
the office.
They all meant well but what was that about a road to hell? He laughs
suddenly because he finds it humorous for some strange reason. He¡¦s
felt
like he was on the road to hell today more than a couple of times¡K.
maybe that¡¦s
why.

¡§He¡¦s laughing¡K¡¨ Helen feels incensed by his callous reaction to all
their
good-intentioned warnings.

¡§Why are you laughing?¡¨ Helen snarls.

¡§Yeah what¡¦s wrong with you!¡¨ Bec slaps him on the shoulder
unsure why she¡¦s even doing it, but enjoying it none the less.
She misses slapping him on an almost daily basis. Her eyes
moistens as she revels in getting to finally do it again.

¡§He¡¦s obviously in denial!¡¨ Jimmy offers again running out
of any other explanation.

¡§Bobby it¡¦s okay to admit a mistake¡K. we can¡¦t help you until
you tell us the truth¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash tries to remain objective.

¡§He¡¦s in denial!¡¨ Jimmy says again, inciting Helen and
Ellenor to glare at him.

Jimmy shakes his head at them flapping his arms.
¡§What he¡¦s chicken maybe¡K I mean who would want to face jail time.¡¨

¡§You¡¦re the rooster here Jimmy all you do is cluck, cluck cluck!¡¨
Ellenor harasses him as only she can and loves too.

¡§Fine Ellenor you wanna call me names¡K. what about you
if I¡¦m a rooster you¡¦re a hen always acting like you have
an egg up your¡K.¡¨

¡§WHAT in the Hell is going on in my courtroom?¡¨ Comes the
fuming voice of the last but not least spectator to this strange
debacle.

Bobby smiles a little in relief. Good now someone has come
who they WILL finally listen too!

As he hears Judge Hiller questioning them his mind strangely recalls
the words Sam spoke to him on the phone. The same words Sam
used when talking to Helen. CHICKENS, ROOSTERS, HENS,
Hearing them shouted by Jimmy and Ellenor seem to bring
the conversation with Sam to the forefront of his mind.
But why the heck did he have chickens? That was as strange as Sam had
ever gotten and yet he couldn¡¦t help but feel Sam was trying to
use the chickens¡K in some weird way trying to relay some kind
of life lesson and Sam¡¦s voice had seemed so desperate
to have Bobby understand¡K. and suddenly he does! Oh my God
Sam was trying to tell him! Lindsay is the HEN!! He hits
his head with his hand as if to wake himself up! What an
idiot! Sam must have promised Lindsay NOT to tell him where she
was so he did the next best thing and Bobby missed it! He
knows Sam and Sam keeps his word if he promised not to tell HE
wouldn¡¦t. But
he did the only thing he could think to do without going back
on his word. He smiles like some giddy teenager who just
won his first baseball game, his grin becoming wider
and wider as the truth hits him squarely between the eyes he
laughs out loud as he sees Lindsay walking around with a chicken¡¦s
body
and himself as the always too stupid for words
Rooster! His laughter only serves to incense his highly unappreciated
and unwanted audience.

¡§Bobby explain to me why you think this is funny!¡¨ Judge Hiller
orders.
¡§What in God¡¦s name are you doing holding a party in MY courtroom! IT
IS MINE!¡¨ She reminds him mercilessly as always. ¡§Bobby this is NO
time for DAY DREAMING!¡¨ Hiller¡¦s voice is filled with ire.

¡§Uh¡K I didn¡¦t¡K.¡¨ Bobby¡¦s much too happy to worry about Judge Hiller¡¦s
displeasure for once.

Bec¡¦s expression is one of enlightenment.
¡§Oh my God! Bobby?¡¨ Bec has finally come to her senses.
Suddenly she knows exactly why Bobby is here in this courtroom
on a weekend day, and she knows why Judge Hiller is there too.
Why everyone else is, she can¡¦t even begin to want to imagine.

¡§Bobby?¡¨
She asks hopefully. But Bobby¡¦s mind has taken another private
turn. Lindsay would do anything for him. Dreams two dreams, one was
marrying her, the other was baseball, but there had been a third¡K. he
remembers now. Oh my God
her words on the tape come back to haunt him now. He¡¦d told her there
at Laharve
in their secret paradise about how someday if he ever could salvage
his questionable
reputation, he would love to become a judge. He remembers being
afraid she
might laugh hysterically, but she didn¡¦t. She¡¦d always made all his
dreams seem
attainable. She¡¦d whisper with him and add to the dream, envisioning
it with him.
He hears her voice again as it played on the tape.

¡¥he said he had only two¡K¡K but I remember another one¡K. he told me
about after¡K¡¦

¡¥There was one other dream¡K.. he deserves to have ALL his dreams¡K..
Bobby¡¦s had it hard, and now¡K I have too, I know¡Kbut when you love
someone you make sure they have everything they need most¡K you know¡K¡¦

Bobby¡¦s mouth drops open and the smile leaves his mouth as he hears
another
part of the tape he had memorized in his head.

¡¥Sometimes you have to let go of a dream to have another one.¡¦

¡¥I liked being his dream¡K¡K I think I stopped being that and turned
into somewhat of a nightmare for him¡K though and I never wanted to¡K¡¦

All of it comes back to him with such clarity. He remembers the third
dream the one
he told to her and only her, and how fitting that she is there now,
where he told her.
He can¡¦t believe he didn¡¦t see it before! Someone had to have tattled
to her about the
judge¡¦s committee, and Hiller retiring? He¡¦d hardly told a soul but
now he knows she has to have figured it out. Lindsay is no dummy!
Well on second thought maybe she is because if she thought she was
going to get away from him that easily! What was she thinking? She is
ready once again to sacrifice herself
for something she thought he wanted MORE THAN HER! If that is what
this is then she IS crazy! He knows now she has to KNOW! She is doing
this, has DONE all of this because she¡¦s known all along! Oh my God!
It all fits! The mixed signals, the returned kisses, and the passion
they shared. Then the tears the denials¡Ksaying she hadn¡¦t
forgiven him for his infidelity¡K lies ALL lies! She has purposely
done all of this to give him that damn dream! Doesn¡¦t she know who he
is? Doesn¡¦t she know what she means to him? God he has to be sure.
This has to be it! What if he¡¦s wrong, then he¡¦s back to ground zero.
His eyes shadow as he thinks of what it would mean to
be wrong about his conclusions.

The strangely never this silent audience seems to sense that Bobby is
having some
sort of epiphany. They wait expecting him to tell them what he¡¦s
thinking.

He comes to his senses suddenly happy he has a captive audience. Let
them
figure out what the HELL they are all doing here he
could care less! He¡¦s on his own crusade. ¡§Which one of you told
Lindsay?¡¨ He knows he¡¦s on the right track now. He has to be! His
shoulders straighten and he buttons
his suit jacket just as he does when preparing for a crucial cross
examination.

His eyes peruse each one of their faces trying to see some guilt or
some conspiracy-type
exchange of looks. ¡§I Know Lindsay KNOWS so tell me who told her!¡¨
Bobby paces in
front of them doing his best Perry Mason intimidation walk.

¡§We don¡¦t know what she knows Bobby? We are trying to find that out
from YOU!¡¨
Helen says totally clueless as to what Bobby is jabbering about?

¡§Yes ONE Of YOU had to have told her! SHE knows I was up for Judge
Hiller¡¦s seat on the bench, I never told her because they didn¡¦t¡K but
she knows! ¡§SHE KNOWS!¡¨ He finishes unable to entertain uttering a
word that might indicate someone didn¡¦t approve or totally adore
Lindsay.

¡§SEAT ON THE BENCH!¡¨ The choir is singing a different tune. They all
sound and appear to be completely shell-shocked. The only two in the
room who are not are Bec and Judge Hiller.

Bobby watches as Helen¡¦s mouth drops into a long dumbfounded OH
shape.

He sees Lucy¡¦s eyes bulging with surprise.

Jimmy and Eugene cock their heads as if they have too much wax build
up
in their ears to have heard right.

Ellenor folds her arms and sniffles a bit shifting her body from one
foot to the other.

Dr. Ash is speechless a baffled look gracing her normally unruffled
face.

Ross eyebrows seem permanently glued to his forehead.

Mike is giving Helen an ¡¥I told you so¡¦ meaningful gaze.

As Bobby takes it all in he realizes he is wrong. No one looks
guilty! NOT
one damn indication that he has found perpetrator to this crime. NO
answer to Lindsay¡¦s erratic behavior. The euphoria he¡¦d felt moments
ago vanishes just as quickly.
He takes lets out a deep deflated breath. Judge Hiller slides her way
through the
collective group to make eye contact with Bobby.

¡§Are you saying you¡¦ve never discussed this possible court
appointment with YOUR wife?¡¨ Bobby feels the familiar scolding voice
tingling up his back.

All ears are peeled for the answers the communal brains are suddenly
realizing all the
wrong conclusions that have been jumped too and many of them are
blushing
hotly over their false accusations and mislead good intentions but
none of them
are confessing.

¡§Did you tell her Bec?¡¨ He asked almost hopefully. He knows from past
experience the most sacred secrets are NOT safe in the ears of his
dearest
friends.

¡§NO! Bobby I never said a word. I wouldn¡¦t you know that!¡¨ Bec¡¦s
wounded voice shrinks the little bit of hope Bobby has left.

¡§Did you Lucy?¡¨ Bobby decides maybe he¡¦s not as good at reading a
guilty
face as he used to be. So he asks imploring her to confess it was her
usual
snooping that did him in.

¡§NO!

¡§You can ask Dr. Ash she¡¦ll tell you she knows I¡¦ve been working
really
hard on minding my own business¡K until Helen came along!¡¨ Lucy gives
Helen
a derisive look placing the blame where it belonged. Her eyes desert
Helen
to give Bobby a beaming, approving smile.

Bobby a seat on the Bench that¡¦s awesome!¡¨ Lucy adds so proud of
him.
¡§You¡¦re going to be adorable in that black silk!¡¨ Lucy gushes
determined
to turn his cheeks crimson. She loves to make him blush.

But Bobby¡¦s far too engrossed in exposing the guilty party to notice
Lucy¡¦s
teasing remarks. His eyes go to the dumbfounded ones of Jimmy and
Eugene and they
respond shaking their heads wordlessly.

He even sets a gaze on Ross who mouth¡¦s a silent no.

¡§Bobby why in the hell didn¡¦t you tell us?¡¨ Helen asks feeling very
much smaller than
her already diminutive size.

¡§I couldn¡¦t ¡K I mean¡K¡¨

¡§Bobby.¡¨ Judge Hiller pokes him in the chest. ¡§Why in the world
wouldn¡¦t you talk to your wife about something as important as this!¡¨

¡§It wasn¡¦t important¡K if she doesn¡¦t know¡K¡¨

¡§OH SHE KNOWS!¡¨ Judge Hiller assures him.

¡§She does?¡¨ A gigantic smile spreads across his face. ¡§Did YOU tell
her?¡¨
Bobby can¡¦t imagine Judge Hiller getting involved personally in any
way but
maybe in her eagerness to get Bobby appointed she saw Lindsay
and talked about it innocently.

¡§NO! Of course I would NEVER tell her. I knew there were sensitive
issues¡Kbut she came to see me and I found out that Judge Kittleson
let it slip out somehow.¡¨

¡§I BET!¡¨ Bobby growls now realizing the full measure of his
folly. ¡§OH God, what did she say?¡¨ All the while he is silently
berating himself
for NOT telling her. He¡¦d dismissed it as unimportant in the great
scheme of
his life and now what he withheld has almost destroyed him. When is he
going to learn? ¡§Was she upset?¡¨ Bobby asks eagerly hoping against
hope.

¡§Nothing really, other than I should NOT mention to you under
any circumstances that she knew about this. She gave me the
impression she intended to discuss it with you. I thought she just
wanted to make sure I didn¡¦t tip you off. I mean you really
had it coming and I wasn¡¦t about to interfere in YOUR wife¡¦s
priviledge of
letting you have it! She left quickly as she came in. I guess I am
the culprit you¡¦re looking for Bobby?¡¨ Judge Hillers expression is
unusually soft and
apologetic.

Bobby does something completely forbidden in any courtroom
on the earth. He picks up the tiny woman spins her around
in happy relief.

¡§FOR GOD¡¦S SAKE BOBBY DONNELL PUT ME DOWN AT ONCE!¡¨
Judge Hiller can¡¦t help allowing a little chuckle as Bobby kisses her
on the cheek
in triumphant joy.

¡§SHE KNOWS! THANK GOD SHE KNOWS!¡¨ Bobby takes a look
at the small crowd surrounding him and his heart swells with
affection, even if they were misguided they loved him enough
to still care even after he abandoned them the way he did, and that
meant everything.
He wishes he could take the time to tell them. But he can¡¦t, not now.

¡§I GOTTA GO! I know where she is, I have to stop her!¡¨ If she takes
off it could take
weeks to catch up to her. He¡¦s doesn¡¦t care about anything else!
Let them figure out whatever they came here to discover.
He realizes one wasted minute could spell
disaster, because he doesn¡¦t know if she is still at Laharve, she
could
have left by now with no one knowing her destination. He can¡¦t
let that happen.

He starts to push his way past all of them but half way out the
door he remembers he has no car. ¡§I don¡¦t have a car!¡¨ He
says it out loud realizing what a deterrent he faces trying to get
to Lindsay as fast as he can.

¡§Here take mine!¡¨ Ellenor is smiling from ear to ear. ¡§It¡¦s in
row nine new blue mini van with license plate. BAR A CUDA

Bobby doesn¡¦t even notice that Bec, Ross, Mike and Dr. Ash all
have their car keys dangling from there fingers also ready to share.

¡§Thanks Elle!¡¨ Bobby uses the nickname with such sweet appreciation
it brings
tears to her eyes. Whatever is happening with Bobby he¡¦s changed she
can see
it and it makes her incredibly happy for him. ¡§By the way I¡¦ve always
loved
your hundred and twenty earrings!¡¨ Bobby calls back over his
shoulder.

The spectators have been mesmerized by Bobby¡¦s atomic energy but
they suddenly spark into action shouting orders at him as he walks
quickly towards the door.

¡§DON¡¦T screw this UP!¡¨ Bec calls to him sternly always and forever
the best man.

¡§Don¡¦t scare her off Bobby remember to watch that temper!¡¨ Dr. Ash
yells after him.

¡§THERE he goes again back OFF THE MARKET!¡¨ Lucy cries out happily.

¡§GO GET HER BOBBY!¡¨ Eugene orders satisfied Bobby doesn¡¦t need
him at all.

¡§IF YOU TWO DON¡¦T GET IT RIGHT SOON I¡¦M GOING TO HAVE
AN ULCER!¡¨ Helen calls unable to resist chipping her two cents in.

¡§IT¡¦S ABOUT DAMN TIME, IF YOU TWO HAD LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST
PLACE NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!¡¨ Ellenor smiles from earrings
to earrings.

¡§GIVE MY GODSON A KISS!¡¨ Jimmy calls out because everyone else
has covered what he wanted to say.
&&&&&&&
As they all follow Bobby to the door and watch him break into a run
half way down
the courthouse hallway they return to the room and each other to try
to figure out
the puzzle Bobby has left behind him.

¡§So is he a judge or isn¡¦t he?¡¨ Lucy asked pointedly staring at Judge
Hiller.

¡§Why didn¡¦t Lindsay know what? Jimmy asks clueless.

¡§Where in the heck is Bobby going?¡¨ Ellenor realizes she may not get
her
car back for days or even weeks a little too late.

¡§It¡¦s about damn time!¡¨ Eugene exclaims a big teddy bear grin
beaming.

¡§I thought I¡¦d never see this day!¡¨ Dr. Ash shakes her head happily
making
mental plans for that vacation.

¡§Is Bobby really a judge? Will someone tell me what¡¦s going on!¡¨
Jimmy yells out
pacing in circles.

¡§Why didn¡¦t he tell us?¡¨ Ellenor says shaking her head in perplexed
annoyance.
¡§Why does he always tell you everything Bec!¡¨

¡§Why would he tell any of you? Bobby on the take! IMAGINIE!¡¨ Bec
clucks at all
of them knowing how perfectly reasonable it is for Bobby to confide
in her. Look
what happens with them and a little bit of too much of the wrong
information.

¡§How the heck are we all going to get back to work? Smart! Ellenor!¡¨
Jimmy
bellows as his stomach growls and he realizes suddenly he¡¦s missed
lunch.

Again as the pandemonium rises and Judge Hiller takes a seat behind
the bench rapping the gavel to get some order in her courtroom!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay eyes are red from crying. Her throat feels parched and dry
and the wind
is picking up blowing her hair all askew. She knows there is maybe
three hours of daylight left and the clouds she saw in the distance
earlier are drawing darker and closer.
What can she do? She can¡¦t build a fire to signal anyone. She has no
matches
no sticks, NOTHING! And even if she did with her luck today, the whole
cottage would probably burn down!

This is the most frustrating feeling. And on top of that
she¡¦s had a nonstop view of the backyard and that damn gazebo.
She remembers how Bobby surprised her that first weekend. He had
it all set up, for them to sleep outside on that
beautiful, late spring night. There had been so much tension and
many misunderstandings before they¡¦d finally let go of all the fears
enough
to make love. Of course neither of them dared admit that is was love.
But she smiles as she sweetly recalls the enchantment of spending
the evening in his arms. She felt as though she¡¦d been lifted out of
the darkness forever the moment she became his. Her dream of finding
this Knight in Slightly Tarnished but Noble Armor came true. In Bobby
Donnell¡¦s embrace she felt like a fairytale princess. She found the
happiness
that had thus far eluded her. It was as though they were under a
magical
spell and nothing could break them apart. Each moment was to be
cherished and savored like a perfectly aged wine. They¡¦d fished
and played together like a couple of teenagers, they teased and
taunted
and bantered and challenged each other, laughing in a lighthearted
happiness she¡¦d never known before. And then those nights, those few
precious nights she believed would be all she ever had of him, were
like
priceless jewels, shimmering moments she would treasure forever. And
he
made each one more heavenly.

It was so blissful to lay in his arms and watch
the stars, so romantic and so unlike the Bobby she¡¦d known up
to that point in Boston. He¡¦d made it a perfect weekend, and she
didn¡¦t ever want to leave. It had become tradition for them after
their
marriage to spend at least one night in the backyard basking in the
moonlit
glow, making love, leisurely and cuddling closer through the evening
to ward off the
morning chill. Cuddling and spooning together in the sweetest of
dreams. He would kiss her awake at dawn passionately requesting a
breakfast that had nothing to do with food.
She¡¦d pretend to be asleep savoring each of his little ticklish
butterfly like bribes parading down her neck into the crevice between
her breasts that beckoned her to
open her eyes. At last after a few extra moments of torture she would
happily give
in to those smoldering blue eyes.

They¡¦d felt more alive those mornings, more in tune with one another
and nature. And those soft sweet rose-scented kisses that reawakened
the
passion of the night before, the most wonderful way to embrace the
new day.

He¡¦d made her breakfast and brought it to the gazebo that first time.
She loved he brought her here, where he¡¦d never brought another soul.
He shared so much of himself with her then. And she had fallen so
deeply in love over that exquisite holiday weekend. They were
supposed to live happily ever after. But fairy tales are for
children. Someone should
tell them while they are young NOT to base your life believing in
them. You get
your heart broken and the end of the story is never what you dream it
will be.

Yes, you have fun, and memories and if you¡¦re lucky a little boy or a
baby girl to hold
the love you once shared forever in your heart. But by then your
heart feels like its
a crystal goblet that got smashed by a ten ton window and before your
through, you¡¦ve let yourself become so fragile and weak because
you¡¦ve pinned all your hopes and dreams on being with someone
forever, but forever never comes. Lindsay knows
its not like that for everyone but it is for her. Why? Why? She¡¦s
asked herself
that thousand of times. Why couldn¡¦t it be different and when at last
it does
become what it could be, you lose it. Or if you¡¦re crazy you give it
up.

She can¡¦t quite believe it herself sometimes, she¡¦s thrown in the
towel, she
never gave up on anything! But now doing this so irrevocably made her
feel like she wouldn¡¦t be able to fight for anything ever again.
Giving
up is NOT what she has ever been about. At least until now.

She¡¦d given up on getting her rings back too. She tried every way she
could but the
damn things were too far down the and even without her heels on she
couldn¡¦t
negotiate the slant of the roof and keep her balance while trying to
liberate
them. There were places on the tiles that looked suspiciously fragile
and she
could not risk falling.

She prayed that they would stay where they were so Sam or a repairman
or someone could get them down for her. A gust of wind barreled over
the roof and the
the ring that seemingly was lodged on the tile shook a little,
Lindsay watched it
willing it to stay put. And it seemed to sense her desires because it
only moved
a bit.

She decides this is NO time to be a chicken, she needs to get herself
inside
the house, she¡¦s going to risk life and limb and make her way around
to the
other side, maybe the window in the spare bedroom will open and this
ordeal will be over! And what if it doesn¡¦t? Well then she¡¦ll just
come back
this way, she can be versatile, she can waltz around this roof
without a problem,
its all in her head that its high and steep. She is a bright
independent woman
who can take care of herself just fine! As she turns to start her
journey around
the roof, she realizes she¡¦d be leaving her precious rings
unattended.

¡§FINE! I guess I¡¦ll risk breaking my neck because I¡¦m NOT going to
lose those
rings too!¡¨

She decides the roof is too rough and jagged to try again without the
heeled shoes. So
she places one on each foot and rises carefully to her feet. She
edges across cautiously
taking baby steps deciding which way shortest to accomplish her goal.
The old tiles
make a crackling sound under her feet and she marvels at how loud
they sound
even over the din of the wind. She¡¦s made good progress the diamond
ring on the tile
is only about five feet away, she won¡¦t look down. She can¡¦t afford
too, this is NOT
a fun thing to do while whiling away time on a roof. Her humor takes
over
as it often has in a crisis and she thinks she could write a book
called ¡§Forty
Things NOT to do When you GET STUCK ON A ROOF¡¨ She laughs out
loud as she sarcastically grumbles. ¡§Yeah Lindsay maybe Ross will
help
you get it published!¡¨

She has momentarily forgotten to pay close attention to her footing
which turns
out to be a very costly mistake. Her foot takes one more step out and
the ring
is plainly in sight but as she bends to grab it her heel spears
through the rotted tile
and her ankle follows busting a nice foot size hole through the roof.
She
tries jiggling her foot out but her pant leg is caught on some unseen
obstruction and in the process she manages to lodge her
whole foot between a rafter or something wood like she isn¡¦t sure
what. She
tries to wrench it free but screams out in pain and hopelessness.
t
¡§GREAT!¡¨ Lindsay looks up at the sky with a threatening look that
would normally scare the thunder away. That is any other day. Today
the menacing look only serves to incite the sky as
the first clap of it crashes off in the distance. Did she just imagine
that a drop of rain just hit her cheek? It¡¦s hard to tell because her
waterfall of tears has begun again. She is stuck. How appropriate.
She feels stuck all right. She is here standing on her own roof, one
foot in, one foot out!
Her rings are the least of her worries now, and YES to make it much
more fun a lovely, late summer thunder storm is about to descend upon
her! ¡§Yup Lindsay this could happen
to anyone!¡¨ She tries to stop the tears because if she starts again
she might create a flood of her own. ¡§DAMN IT WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I
NEED YOU BOBBY DONNELL!¡¨ Not that she wants it to be him. She doesn¡¦t
want him to rescue her because if he did she would NEVER let him take
off
and fly away again. Superman. She remembers that client with the
husband
who thought he was Superman. She could sure use HER Superman about
now.
&&&&&&&&&&









Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"








---------------------------------
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ENCORE/SOULMATES THE FINALE~ PART 28

Disclaimer: I know they were never mine but I think I made them a
little mine. LOL
NO profit ect¡K.

This is dedicated to all of you, bless you for still wanting to read
it after all this time.

Well it¡¦s been a long time and I know I should be shot at sunrise
for not finishing this long ago. I have to confess I lost what
I had written of the finale part about the first 2/3 which dampened
by desire
to try and rewrite it awhile back, and so I¡¦m not sure if it will
be in continuity as well as I originally planned. That and
I also have to confess its been over two years since I¡¦ve
written anything besides a grocery list! So I am trying to
get back into writing. I can¡¦t believe I left it undone for so
long and I really don¡¦t know what made me stop. But since I saw a
thread on here
in Dec where the desire to still read  Encore/Soulmates was mentioned
I decided
to ask whoever is left of you, to be my guinea pigs once
again. I know I am lucky anyone still wants to read it. I hope I
still have
what it takes to do the writing and the characters justice. I have no
excuse other than that life sometimes gets in the way no matter how
much you wish it wouldn¡¦t.

I think in some weird way it had to do with my Mom¡¦s passing because
I really
started writing a lot when I began to take care of her full time.
Maybe I somehow associated it with that, and had to be away from it
to let go of all of it. Who knows¡K.anyway here¡¦s my feeble attempt to
make up to you any frustration or disappointment you felt.

I haven¡¦t answered your requests in the past because I didn¡¦t want to
tell you I couldn¡¦t.
I hate to disappoint anyone ever.

I have reread all of Encore but
In my head there was a scene I haven¡¦t found yet. So I am wondering
if it was in a part I wrote and lost. It¡¦s aggravating not to be able
to
Go back to the beginning of what I wrote for 28 but maybe it will
Turn out okay anyway. The whole story is still here on the message
board
if anyone wants to review any of it.

Thanks for reading as always and for remaining supportive even
through my lack of contact. I promise this will get finished¡Kit is
almost
completely done but because as usual it has gotten so long I¡¦m going
to post it in two or three parts. I hope there are still a few who
will enjoy it.
  ļ And I hope its not too little way too late!

Synopsis

Saturday where we left off Lindsay has just gone from Sam and
Claire¡¦s to Laharve for a last goodbye before running away so
that Bobby will take Judge Hiller¡¦s seat if the committee does
approve him. Best advice is go back and read some or
all of it if you don¡¦t remember. There is no easy way to recap this!
Lol I¡¦m trying!
Oh and Bobby, Judge Hiller, Bec and I think Judge Kittleson are the
only ones
Who even know that Bobby is up for the judge¡¦s seat according to what
Bobby knows.
Of course Lindsay found out from Judge Kittleson, who informed
her that there is no way Bobby will get the seat on the bench
as long as Lindsay is his wife, because of her time in jail¡Kect¡K
Lindsay went to confirm if it was true with Judge Hiller. Judge
Hiller promised not to say anything to Bobby which she hasn¡¦t.
And wow if this isn¡¦t complicated! Lol

Uhm ¡K.Bobby has been adamant that he will ONLY accept the judge¡¦s
seat if Lindsay is by his side. He has had ongoing committee meetings
where he has been questioned and interrogated repeatedly. He is
now awaiting their final decision. He doesn¡¦t know Lindsay even knows
about the judicial seat or the committee¡¦s reluctance to approve him
because of her. Now he has been called by Judge Hiller to get to the
courthouse. He is more intent on finding Lindsay and confronting her
about her feelings for Ross the parrot owning lying author who has
confessed to Lindsay that he wrote a book about her without her
permission, and is in love with her. They were engaged for about an
hour in Lindsay¡¦s attempt to
throw Bobby off as to why she no longer wished to be with him.
Lindsay broke
the engagement when she found out about Ross¡¦s duplicity in wanting
to publish
an unauthorized book about her entire life.

Ok uhm Ross feeling bad about his deception has joined Helen in
trying to
Find out why Lindsay is running away from Bobby when they know it¡¦s
him she loves. Helen has enlisted Lucy¡¦s help. Helen is worried
because through gossip she has heard that Bobby has had many
clandestine meetings at the courthouse and no one has the whole
story on what he has been doing. Helen jumps to the conclusion
after she hears there is a sting operation going to catch another
corrupt judge that maybe Bobby is on the take from that judges he was
suspected of being when Judge Fleming left a file incriminating him,
which Helen destroyed. All Helen knows for sure is that Bobby has
been meeting with judges secretly at the courthouse, and that either
he is in on a sting operation to expose another corrupt judge or he
could be corrupt himself, (which of course Helen doesn¡¦t really want
to believe.)

Mike and Helen are engaged.

The rest of the gang is still at the office except for Lucy who is a
rape councilor.

Sam and Claire know Lindsay is at Laharve but are sworn to secrecy
regarding divulging her whereabouts being revealed to Bobby. Really
you need to read Encore 27 to have any of this Make sense. Lol

The story resumes here. I know don¡¦t faint I can¡¦t believe it¡¦s
getting finished either!

ENCORE 28 WITH A TOUCH OF SOUL PART 1 OF FINALE.

Bobby is hopping on one foot trying to tie his tie and get his pants
on at the same time.
Judge Hiller has mandated he get to the courthouse immediately. Why
now, he
barely, even cares anymore. It¡¦s just a job, when all is said and
done. Yes it holds social
prestige and the possibility for a political future. But he¡¦s not
even sure he¡¦s interested
in that anymore. He¡¦s never really been the pretentious type anyway,
and without
Lindsay, nothing mattered to him. God! If only he could blow this
meeting off and go
search for her! That¡¦s all he wants to do! Where the HELL is she? And
where
is Bobby Jr.? He tries to shake off the sinking feeling in his gut
that something isn¡¦t
right, that is above and beyond all the other things that are already
NOT right in his life.

He¡¦s finally got the pants on now its just putting on the damn shoes!
His hands
are clammy and trembling slightly as he ties them. And he wonders
why? What is this weird feeling of urgency he has that goes further
than the need to get to the courthouse? And why on a Saturday! Hell,
you can¡¦t even get a judge to set foot at the courthouse on a Friday
afternoon let alone a weekend day. Maybe Hiller found out about the
committee¡¦s rejection of him the night before and didn¡¦t have the
heart to let him down over the phone. His mind races from one
scenario to the other of course nothing
he imagines has a positive outcome. But he¡¦s okay, so what if he
loses the chance to become a judge? He won¡¦t kid himself there will
ever be another opportunity because this he knows is a-once-in-a-
lifetime shot. He wanted to make Lindsay proud of him. He realizes
that is the reason he¡¦s even allowed the process to go this far. He
wanted to see the look on her face as she stood by him as he was
sworn in. He wanted to see the sparkling glimmer of pride in her eyes
validating that he is her hero, her Knight in a Shinning Silky Black
Robe. That¡¦s why he doesn¡¦t really expect it to happen, because as
things are, she isn¡¦t going to be there to see any of it. He grabs
his jacket, and heads to his car knowing that the emptiness he feels
isn¡¦t going to evaporate, not now, not ever.

His fingers jam the key into the ignition as his heart drowns in the
pain he has
been trying so hard to ignore. His foot hits the gas belligerently
causing his fuel injected car to protest to the inevitable ache that
consumes him at every thought of her. Damn it! He realizes in his
overwrought state he¡¦s flooded the engine! GREAT!
He tries again time after time impatiently trying to get the damn
thing to start.

NO. Why would this go smoothly nothing else has! He decides it¡¦s a
good thing
his apartment is on a busy street, so there are plenty of cabs to
flag down. He departs
the car nearly leaving the keys in his haste, not that anyone could
take off with it
after the number he¡¦s done on the carburetor.

Of course the plentiful cabs are a figment of his imagination today
too
as it takes four before he finally gets an empty one. As he falls back
into the seat of the cab his mind goes back to another day and
another taxi when he remembers feeling overwhelmed and depressed. The
cab driver had asked
him where he wanted to go. How weird that a simple question became
a metaphor for his life. And now that he feels he has finally turned
that damned corner, what does he find but a deserted street. He feels
he¡¦s
lost all direction and purpose just as he had that day. So much for
progress, just when you thought you were pointed due North, you
find out you¡¦ve headed straight south.

Lindsay was always there to give him that direction, or at least
let him know on no uncertain terms that he lacked it sorely. His eyes
see the blur of the familiar buildings passing by, but he isn¡¦t
focusing
on the here and now. His heart is melting into the past again. He
feels so lost, so alone, more than even when Lindsay first left him
because now he had had a taste of her in his life again. Life was
cruel sometimes, you get this glimmer of what could be, what
should be, and then poof it disappears. He sees her as he has in the
last months, little snippets of the smiles and the laughter, and the
the most intimate beautiful moments together, more powerful,
more tangible, than it had ever been and he had hoped so much
for a future like that. A reason to get up every day, to see her
smiling face looking up hazily into his eyes as the last remnants of
sleep
slowly lift and she yawns and stretches so invitingly. Those
treasured hurried moments at the breakfast table taking turns
feeding Bobby Jr. and sharing each other¡¦s toast, those were
the days he longs for again. And those nights! Ahhhh those
exquisite nights! He pictures them in a little
fantasy of the future her sitting on the bed brushing her glistening
hair, reaching out her free hand to caress his arm as they
prepare to retire for the night, sweet words whispered in the dark
their children¡¦s dreams. And from that thought comes the tantalizing
fantasy of the intense lovemaking that would fulfill that  later
vision.

¡§Hey man, we¡¦re here. You did say the courthouse right?¡¨

The taxi driver¡¦s word¡¦s snap Bobby back to the present.
He mumbles his thanks as he pays the driver and heads up
the marble steps of the austere building. He remembers the
times he and Lindsay had done so together chattering on
about the case they were about to try. One of them coming
up with some instantaneous strategy while the other was,  (usually
Lindsay)
brought up thousands of reasons why it would never work. Those
were the days! Those first moments of incredulous awe he felt every
time
she opened her mouth, or smiled or spoke about anything. He couldn¡¦t
quite believe she was real at first, because he¡¦d never met anyone
like her.
And all the while he was falling madly in love, another part of him
fought it like a lion! He hated feeling so weak in the knees, every
time he so much as sensed her presence in the room. He was so filled
with fear then, fear of letting the love show, fear of letting her see
what a helpless wimp he became whenever it came to her. The
overwhelming
need for her was too much and he hid his love as though it was a
weapon she
could use against him if he ever showed her any indication of how he
really
felt. And the irony of the whole ridiculous mess was Lindsay was and
is
about the least intimidating or threatening person you¡¦d ever meet.

The freckles sprinkled across her nose made her look like she could
be a teenager, and there was always a sweetness, an innocence about
her
that befuddled and dazzled him all at the same time. And if that
wasn¡¦t
enough her mind that brilliant, intelligent legal mind left him
speechless
so many times. In court she astounded him with her dazzling knowledge
of the constitution and her closings¡K he smiles as he pictures her
immersed in the rush of delivering those. He never admit it to her
of course.

Her closing surpassed anyone¡¦s he¡¦d ever seen, and he loved debating
cases and arguing about who had the better closing arguments. She
invigorated his mind, she captured his heart, energized his body, and
refreshed his soul. He felt jaded and cynical until he met her. He
didn¡¦t
even believe he¡¦d ever have a family, because who would ever
understand him enough to put up with his work ethic. Everything
changed that moment outside the office on the sidewalk. Hope and
ideals and faith were renewed for him in that enchanting moment.

She was his perfect match, his dream manifested. And having
her appear out of nowhere the way she did, he often had to remind
himself
she was not some angel that would suddenly disappear. At least he
thought
she wouldn¡¦t but apparently he was wrong because he sure as hell can¡¦t
find her anywhere now!

As he walks down the courthouse corridor he tries to force his
mind to concentrate on the task at hand, but it¡¦s useless because
lately he has
nothing but tunnel vision directing his sight only on Lindsay.
He smiles fondly as he remembers all the bantering and arguing
they¡¦ve done here. He wishes those gorgeous blue eyes were sparking
anger
at him right now, even filled with recriminations, or sharp reminders
of when he¡¦d made a horrible manly blunder he loved looking into them.
And when they sparkled with passion and love he melted and became
softer than a toasted marshmallow. Oh those eyes!

As he approaches Judge Hiller¡¦s office he wrestles with
his mind battling to focus on her because he knows she will expect him
to be attentive respectful and humble. It was a prerequisite to
appearing before
her anywhere, and he knew better than to bend the rules. He opens the
door
slowly taking a deep breath. Judge Hiller looks up from her desk
folding
her hands in front of her as her gaze bores through him.

¡§Hello Bobby, take a seat.¡¨ She points at the chair her grim
expression
does little to brighten this already bleak day.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Helen has been trying repeatedly to get Bobby on the phone, but
She hasn¡¦t had any luck. She is desperate to corner him and demand
the truth about what in the heck is going on with him and Lindsay. And
above all what kind of trouble he is in at the courthouse, it must be
something bad because NO one is divulging anything, and that¡¦s
never a good thing. It smells funny like there is some kind of
gag order on anyone speaking about it or giving up any information.
This happened before with Judge Fleming, and that was very
nearly a disaster for Bobby. She dreads that something bad may happen
and that maybe this once she will be powerless to help anyone. She
hates being powerless.

¡§Damn it Bobby where are you?¡¨

She furiously pounds another number into the phone. As she
impatiently waits
for the other end to pick up her free hand shoves the disheveled
stacks of papers
and files on the kitchen table she has commandeered for her makeshift
home office.

Mike comes out of the living room to find his lovely Helen talking to
herself
once again. ¡§Ah how¡¦s the operation going sergeant?¡¨ He asked barely
able to keep from bursting into laughter. You¡¦d think from the latest
command post Helen has created that she was solving the world hunger
crisis.

¡§Well if you can¡¦t see DON¡¦T ask!¡¨ Helen barks back in frustration.

Mike watches with eyebrows raised as Helen growls her orders to the
poor unsuspecting victim who has answered her call.

¡§Lucy for God¡¦s sake why haven¡¦t you called me? You were supposed
to have a lookout scheduled for the courthouse did you do it?¡¨


¡§Helen,¡¨ Lucy answers ¡§Like I told you if Bobby Donnell so much
as sets foot in that place I will hear about it!¡¨

¡§Are you sure Lucy? We can¡¦t afford to miss anything!¡¨

¡§Security is on it! I have friends in spy places!¡¨ Lucy responds
jovially.
Oh how she missed the days of nosy intrigue, she realizes this may
be her last hurrah so she plans to make the most of it.

¡§GOOD!¡¨ Helen praises stingily. ¡§Because you have bigger things to do
today and you have to do it exactly as I say do you understand?¡¨

Mike shakes his head preferring to return to his football game.
Watching
the players mercilessly attack each other will be child¡¦s play
compared
to observing Helen at her best. He smiles fondly as he takes one last
peek at his beloved threatening poor Lucy with bodily harm.

¡§You need to find Dr. Ash!¡¨ Helen instructs her speaking slowly,
loudly and deliberately.

¡§Helen isn¡¦t that Lindsay¡¦s therapist?¡¨ Lucy asks pretending
innocence,
there is no way in hell she will let on to Helen Dr. Ash is her
therapist too.

¡§Yes Lucy she is, now stop interrupting and do exactly as I say!¡¨
Helen
rolls her eyes in frustration.

Silence at last from the opposite end of the phone.

¡§Go see Dr. Ash ask her if she knows anything about Lindsay¡¦s latest
change of heart for Bobby, of course she will claim patient
confidentiality but this is a matter of life and death, YOURS Lucy if
you don¡¦t somehow worm it out of her if anyone can you can!¡¨

¡§Oh this is good a lawyer who sees clients and promises
confidentiality all the time
and then expects me to ignore it with a doctor!¡¨ Lucy grumbles
wishing she could be in charge of this operation instead of Helen.

¡§What did you say Lucy?¡¨ Helen asks her tone rising slightly with
each word.

¡§Nothing¡K.but uh it¡¦s Saturday, Dr. Ash won¡¦t be in her office on
Saturday.¡¨

¡§And that will stop you why?¡¨ Helen asks impatiently.

¡§You want me to go to her house?¡¨

¡§DING, DING, DING Lucy you win the prize!¡¨ Helen drones.

¡§Why can¡¦t I just call her Helen and ask her this over the phone?¡¨
Lucy whines.

¡§Body Language Lucy! Can you see Body language over the phone?¡¨

¡§Helen I really think that I could¡K.¡¨ Lucy tries to reason with her
which
she should know by now is useless. Helen on a mission is like a
penguin
in the artic, nothing is going to stop her.


¡§Lucy you better find out something or I¡¦d advise you to get
a restraining order against ME if you don¡¦t! Where¡¦s the OLD Lucy
you know in the old days you, you could get a Benediction monk with a
hundred
years vow of silence to talk just to get you to shut up! NOW GO!¡¨

Helen slams the phone intent on returning to her search for the
incredibly disappearing Donnell family.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Meanwhile back at Laharve.

Lindsay has taken a walk before going into the cottage. She looks
at her favorite place wishing she could manifest Bobby in the flesh.
If only there was a way to have one more magical time with him
in their secret haven without Bobby ever remembering he was here. Yes
she could just
use her imagination, but it wouldn¡¦t be the same as having the real
thing, because at last Bobby is the real Bobby the man she envisioned
from the moment she met him. Letting go of that man is what is making
this
so terribly difficult. She knows that they would have made it this
time,
they would have been able to sustain a relationship because they were
both ready. They¡¦d been through hell and back and had survived alone
and together, and they had matured and grown up enough to know that
love itself  isn¡¦t what holds a relationship together, they both
understand how much you have to be there in the moment, communicating,
laughing, fighting, and participating. You can¡¦t let just one person
hold it together. You
can¡¦t take turns leaving it up to the other person to carry their
end, you
have to carry it as one. She was so looking forward to experiencing
it with him
and now to have lost that opportunity to ever be that couple again is
heartbreakingly
sad.

Funny, how they were just here weeks ago smiling, laughing and
and yes bickering¡K.but more than anything looking forward to their
future. She hadn¡¦t been alone, or felt at all alone then. Now she
feels as though she is the last person left on the earth. Thinking
about facing life alone from this point on,
is too bleak to fathom. They had so many beautiful times,
mouthwatering
moments to be savored forever. And she would cherish them forever.
She doesn¡¦t
kid herself into thinking that someday she¡¦d meet someone new,
because she knows
she wouldn¡¦t be wanting to look forward, a part of her will always be
looking back, no matter how unhealthy or stagnating it is to do that
as Dr. Ash has warned her time
and again. Sorry, Dr. Ash she would be doing just that. Why look for
someone to share her life with when she had already found the perfect
man? She laughs when
she realizes she really believes it now, before when she thought of
Bobby as
the perfect man she always knew that it was in her eyes, it was in
her vision that
she saw the possibility. Of course ¡§perfect man¡¨ was too high an
expectation.
Maybe there needed to be a new word invented to cover what kind of a
man Bobby had become. She smiles as her melancholy eyes see him all
over
again for the first time. His lopsided grin, his unruly hair first
thing in the
morning, his gentle touch, his cranky moods when he is too tired or
not
caffeinated enough. All the little things she has relearned about him
after there separation, the endearing aggravating, life affirming
things
that made him who he is. And of course the NEW old Bobby that has
returned to her heart, the man who listens, and shows compassion,
understanding, and who communicates wholeheartedly withholding
nothing,
and offering everything.

She walks to the tree where they¡¦d played
hide and seek from each other and there own special form of tag. The
one they
invented when every time he caught her or she caught him another
article of clothing
had to be shed. She touches the wizened old tree bark her fingers
dancing over it as if it were some magical wizard that could bring
her those moments again, now.

She sits down quietly memorizing each little place where they¡¦d had
a unique or passionate interlude with each other. She realizes that
trying to do that would keep her here all day, there isn¡¦t one corner
of this oasis that hasn¡¦t been touched in some way with the passionate
energy of their spirits. That was what was always so unique with them
it went way beyond the physical level
of their connection. It was more the union of their souls, the way
they
knew one another on a higher plain a deeper level than either
of them could ever describe. She knows that he always felt it too,
they were like irrevocably tied to each other through some cosmic
force. It was as if they¡¦d known each other from the beginning of time
and were just getting reacquainted on a physical level. Maybe some
day they would meet again, somewhere in this universe she
and Bobby would be together again. Tears fall down her cheek
as she wishes it to be so.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lucy pounds on Dr. Ashe¡¦s front door hoping to God she isn¡¦t home.
Weighing the wrath of Dr. Ash when she finds out that Lucy has fallen
back into her surrogate parent obsession or facing Helen with no new
information. She shakes her head as she imagines one very wild Helen
like Kangaroo chasing her all over Boston and decides to choose
the lesser of two evils as she whole heartedly hits Dr. Ash¡¦s doorbell
with one long forceful push. Fear is a great motivator

Uh oh, she hears noises from inside. She braces herself as the door
swings
open and just her luck Dr. Ash is home. Why doesn¡¦t Helen ever do her
own dirty work!

¡§Hi Lucy¡K..¡¨ Dr. Ash looks a little surprised to find one of her more
eccentric
patients standing at her door.

¡§Hi ya,  Dr. Ash.¡¨ Lucy tries not to show how terribly uncomfortable
she is.
¡§Uh I missed my appointment this week.¡¨ She explains feebly.

¡§Yes I know that, are you having an emergency, because you know Lucy
it¡¦s Saturday
that¡¦s why I¡¦m not in my office¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash tries to explain patiently.
She wonders
if she¡¦s going to have to move, she knows how tenacious Lucy can be,
and she has
always dreaded patients spilling into her personal life, of course
Lindsay and Bobby
being the only exception she has ever welcomed.

¡§Look Dr. Ash¡K. I have to talk to you, I ¡K. Oh what¡¦s the use!¡¨ Lucy
throws her
hands up in the air. ¡§The obsession you¡¦ve been helping me with for
the last
few months¡K.. well they¡¦re your patients too!¡¨ Lucy confesses
sadly. ¡§I
guess being a little nuts runs in the family!¡¨

¡§I don¡¦t understand¡K..¡¨ Dr. Ash begins then somehow a lightning bolt
light bulb
hits her over the head and she does understand all too well. ¡§Oh my
God, you
used to work in a law office?¡¨ She questions wanting to make sure she
is
putting two and two together correctly.

¡§Yeah¡K.¡¨ Lucy admits meekly.

¡§Don¡¦t tell me¡K..let me guess¡K..Bobby Donnell and Lindsay Dole?¡¨ She
asks
knowing the answer already. Lucy had always referred to them as proxy
or cardboard Mom and Dad so Dr. Ash had never realized their true
identity.

¡§Yeah¡K.¡¨ Lucy mumbles embarrassed.

¡§Oh no!¡¨ Dr. Ash moans realizing she¡¦d been way to hard on Lucy
because in truth
she should be going to therapy about her involvement with them as
much if
not MORE than Lucy.

Lucy takes Dr. Ash¡¦s momentary shock as an opportunity to plead her
case.
¡§Dr. Ash just hear me out please! It¡¦s NOT my fault Helen Gamble is
ordering
me to do this¡K. I¡¦m innocent!  I¡¦m¡K..guilty as hell¡K..¡¨  she relents
all in one
breath. She looks up into Dr. Ash¡¦s eyes hoping for mercy.

¡§Lucy¡K¡K Dr. Ash hesitates but she sees the tortured eyes and decides
just
this once to invite her in.

¡§Come in¡K.. let me get you some tea¡K.. let¡¦s talk about it¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash
placates
her as she realizes she has walked a mile in Lucy¡¦s shoes.

After she gives Lucy her tea and pours one for herself she invites
Lucy to take
a chair in her living room.

¡§So tell me what is it now that has you tied up in knots over this
couple¡K again!¡¨ Dr. Ash is mindful this could turn into a mutual
confession time, but she is determined to keep professional and
objective at all costs.

¡§It¡¦s just they were about to reconcile¡K. I had given up all hope¡K.
you know
I had¡K. I was fine¡K..¡¨ Lucy edges forward in her chair unable to keep
still. ¡§I swear I was! I mean I¡¦d heard that they were dating a
little from Lindsay
but I¡¦d even put that out of my mind¡K. I mean with those too you just
never¡K.
well anyway¡K then Helen comes ¡K I should tell you Helen is Lindsay¡¦s
best
friend and Bobby¡¦s worst nightmare¡K¡¨

¡§Lucy I know¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash stops herself in the nick of time she was
just about to divulge patient information! She straightens her back
trying to still her emotions so she can remain professional.
¡§Lindsay¡¦s my patient, remember?¡¨ Dr. Ash reminds her
gently in an effort to stop the sarcastic comments.

¡§Ok, so anyway she comes into my office. See, I was minding my own
business
just trying to get my work done, and in blows in this force beyond
nature¡K because
believe me Helen is anything but natural!¡¨ Lucy rambles. ¡§She¡¦s like
a cat
with claw¡K¡¨

¡§Lucy¡K I get the picture¡K Helen paid you a visit¡Kwhat did she want?¡¨

¡§Well I swear¡KI all but held a cross and garlic up to her to get her
to stop
but there was no stopping her, you don¡¦t know her! When she¡¦s out
for blood you just tilt your head and let her bite you! She¡¦s got some
kind of weird power that just sucks you in¡K.¡¨

¡§Really and I suppose you have no idea what that feels like to be
that tenacious?¡¨ Dr. Ash
can¡¦t resist a bringing a little truth to Lucy¡¦s awareness. Of course
it sails right over Lucy¡¦s head as usual.

¡§So she tells me all about how Bobby and Lindsay were so close to
reconciling
and how Lindsay is having an affair with some two bit author who
has written all about her and¡K. I don¡¦t know exactly what happened
but I bet Bobby found out about it and kicked Lindsay to the curb
again
and of course Lindsay doesn¡¦t love the writer she loves Bobby and for
some insane reason she turned her back on him and now we think she¡¦s
run off somewhere and Bobby is probably on the take with some
corrupt judge again and they are on to him at the courthouse and he¡¦s
probably going to be arrested and put in jail at any moment¡K and if he
goes to jail and Lindsay is never found what will happen to that
precious
little boy, he could end up in foster care and get lost in the system¡K
the grandparents are all getting archaic and so what will become of
him!¡¨
Lucy¡¦s eyes tear up and she wrings her hands hopelessly, gulping for
air after the no-breath-taking-explanation.

Dr. Ash¡¦s eyes practically pop out of her head as she listens to the
tale
Lucy is spinning. Bobby kicking Lindsay to the curb that¡¦s a good one!
Thank God she knows most of it is a figment of Lucy¡¦s
over active imagination. It has to be¡K Dr. Ash¡¦s mind begins the spin
cycle. What if the last part is true about Bobby going to jail? Of
course its NOT!

¡§Lucy¡K.can we just¡K.slow down.¡¨ Dr. Ash asked knowing slowing Lucy
was tantamount stopping a steroid popping athlete.

¡§Ok, I know this isn¡¦t making any sense¡K.and I know you can¡¦t tell
me anything about Lindsay or Bobby and their private sessions¡Kbut Dr.
Ash
you have to give me something here¡Kbecause we have to protect
Bobby, and maybe¡K if he¡¦s in some kind of trouble we need to help
him now!¡¨

¡§I understand ¡K.Lucy are you sure Bobby¡¦s in trouble?¡¨ Dr. Ash
has never detected any sign that Bobby is doing something
underhanded.
The man she has come to know and seen accomplish such substantial
personal growth
would never do anything to put his little family in jeopardy again.

¡§I don¡¦t know!¡¨ Lucy slams the arm of her chair with the force of
emotion
she is feeling. ¡§That¡¦s why you have to tell us! Is there anything
that Lindsay has said to you to indicate she is angry with Bobby or
suspects him of criminal behavior other than his usual side stepping
of the rules¡Kand an occasional black mail
threat¡K.to a client here and there and of course¡K. that one little
time
he enlisted a hit man¡¦s help¡K.¡¨ Lucy asks scrunching her face a
little as she divulges
a few more painful secrets to Dr. Ash about her surrogate father.

¡§Lucy! You know I can¡¦t speak¡K.¡¨

Suddenly Lucy¡¦s cell phones rings¡K interrupting Dr. Ash and
nearly ejecting Lucy from her chair.

¡§What are you sure¡K? When? He¡¦s there now?¡¨ Where is he?
What room?¡¨ Lucy hides her face from Dr. Ash as she growls into the
phone.

¡§What do you mean you don¡¦t know! What did I say? YOU were supposed
to have someone follow him and why did you wait so long to call me?¡¨
It doesn¡¦t matter if you had a long line of possible gun toting
criminals behind him, and don¡¦t give me that excuse Clyde it¡¦s
SATURDAY!
There aren¡¦t that many people there on SATURDAY!¡¨
¡§You were supposed to be on top of this¡K. I KNEW I should have
watched for him myself! Yes¡KYes¡K.well you call me the minute he
leaves¡K.or if you see any unusual action going on¡K.like a bunch of
reporters or police cars¡K. YES I know there are always lots of police
cars at the court house Clyde¡K.but JUST DO IT! And call
me as soon as you find out where HE IS!¡¨

Lucy slams the phone shut¡K..then with crazed expression and without
explanation
reopens it as quickly poking in a number on her speed dial. Dr. Ash
sits there
quietly, and curiously observing every word she hears trying to
fathom that Bobby could be arrested at any moment. She feels
like she is in the middle of an I Am Crazy Lucy movie as a poor
innocent bystander,
or a one-day extra that is being swooped into the vortex of something
she can¡¦t even describe in words. She never signed up to join this
film yet
she can¡¦t seem to find the stage¡¦s exit door.

¡§HELEN! It¡¦s me! Lucy voice is agitated. ¡§RED ALERT!  RED ALERT!!!!¡¨
she screams into the phone.

Helen eyes open wide as she hears the urgency in Lucy¡¦s voice.
¡§He¡¦s at the courthouse¡K..ON A SATURDAY! OH God it¡¦s
worse than I thought!¡¨ Helen is searching under the table for her
shoes with her
nylon clad feet poking, prodding and finally accomplishing their task
her shaking free hand swoops up her purse as she continues
interrogating
Lucy.

¡§How long has he been there Lucy?¡¨ Where is he?¡¨ Helen
expects an answer.

¡§I don¡¦t know I don¡¦t know somehow things got fowled up¡K.and
I¡¦ll meet you there Helen!¡¨ Lucy promises.

¡§OH NO YOU WON¡¦T!¡¨ Helen snaps back. ¡§Listen Lucy
the last thing we need is an army marching in to the rescue¡K.
I want to do this quietly¡K.do you understand¡K.Lucy you need
to get Eugene NOW! Go to the offices¡K you know he always
works on Saturday and Sunday! If anyone else is there
go take him aside QUIETLY!¡¨ Helen screams out the quietly to
emphasize
the importance of her instructions.

¡§DO YOU HEAR ME LUCY!¡¨

¡§I think they heard that in Antarctica!¡¨ Lucy exclaims disappointed
she has to be the errand girl once again and may miss all the action.

¡§Listen to me! Helen scolds. ¡§We need discretion here! We don¡¦t know
what Bobby has
done now, or even if he has¡K and we don¡¦t want to alert the media or
tip our hand
to anyone ¡Kdo you understand Lucy¡Kwalk in casually, talk to Eugene and
get him to go to the courthouse¡K JUST Eugene¡K NO ONE ELSE!
Bobby is going to need him, Bobby trusts him! YOU have to come
through for Bobby
Lucy¡K do you copy!¡¨ Helen stomps a heeled foot to the floor as she
asks.

¡§Yes but why can¡¦t I come with Eugene¡K Bobby I¡¦m¡Khis¡K¡¨

¡§NO! Stay away¡K  that¡¦s all! NOW GO! We have no time to lose!¡¨
Helen informs her as she runs out of the house, she yells to Mike
some unintelligible information as her front door slams shut behind
her.
&&&&&&&
Dr. Ash sees Lucy gathering her things she caught just enough
conversation
to know that Bobby is at the courthouse and something is going down
there.
Lucy looks at her apologetically yelling as she runs out¡K¡¨Sorry Dr.
Ash
I¡¦ll see you on Wednesday¡K uh maybe sooner if this day goes the way
I think it will!¡¨ Lucy is gone in a flash.

Dr. Ash makes a snap decision while talking to herself she grabs
her car keys.

¡§I know you should be home taking care of your personal life. I know
you should be staying out of this and behaving like the wonderful
psychiatrist you used to be¡K.but you know that if Bobby is in trouble
he may need to talk and who is better than his therapist.¡¨ She reasons
to herself as she peels out of her driveway.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lucy enters what used to be Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt¡K.
she ignores the new names and order on the door because for
her it will always be what it was. Bobby¡¦s. Always his and only
his.  Damn! Why did life have to get so complicated?

Now Bobby would be going down the river for who knows how long! The
tears again form in the corner of her eyes¡K.but she can¡¦t be
distracted by emotions
now she is on a mission she must do her duty. As she walks into
the main bull pin of desks she is surprised to find everyone but
Jamie and Bec are hard at work. Eugene is handing some papers
to Ellenor, while Jimmy is furiously typing something into a
computer. And suddenly
it¡¦s as though she has gone back in time, where all of them knew
everything
about the other. It was like a family then and Family sticks by one
another.
That¡¦s the way it had always been and the way it should be NOW!
All thoughts or any intentions of trying to follow Helen¡¦s orders of
discretion or secrecy has left the building of Lucy¡¦s mind.

They¡¦ve all been in this together from the beginning it¡¦s fitting
and just that they are included now! What did Helen know anyway!
It takes an army sometimes, or a village or an ant farm or some
dammed thing.


¡§BOBBY¡¦S in terrible trouble and we have to get to the courthouse
NOW!¡¨ Lucy bellows without a hello how ya doing.

The three old friends stand shell shocked. Where in the hell
did Lucy come from and what is she talking about goes simultaneously
through their brains.

Then as the norm they all start talking at once¡Kso no one has a clue
as to what anyone is saying.

¡§What are you doing here?¡¨ Eugene asks curiously.

¡§What about Bobby?¡¨ Jimmy eyes squint.

¡§Have you been drinking Lucy?¡¨ Ellenor is ready to dismiss her
dramatic entrance
instantly.

¡§So what else is new?¡¨ Eugene decides it¡¦s gotta be a joke. There¡¦s
NO way Bobby can be in trouble again, it just doesn¡¦t happen to the
same person that many times. Does it?

¡§There she goes again exaggerating everything!¡¨ Ellenor clucks.

Lucy puts a couple of finger to her mouth blowing a loud shrill
whistle¡K.¡¨Look
I¡¦ll explain on the way¡K.we have to get there NOW! REALLY I¡¦m not
kidding I promise!¡¨  Lucy¡¦s eyes implore them to hear her and know she
isn¡¦t lying or being overly dramatic for once.

The questions and hesitations come to a halt when they realize
it¡¦s once again all for one and one all and that requires immediate
action.

¡§I¡¦ll drive!¡¨ Ellenor offers. ¡§We can take one car that way!¡¨

¡§You always get to drive!¡¨ Jimmy grumbles as he straightens his tie.
¡§And like a bat out of hell!¡¨ Jimmy mumbles under his breath.

¡§It¡¦s a minivan Jimmy we¡¦ll all fit!¡¨ Ellenor snipes back.

¡§Come on you two knock it off¡K.someone needs to call Bec.¡¨
Eugene instructs, remaining level-headed. Lucy follows them out
actually feeling a bit of a rush experiencing being in their company
again
and filled with a united purpose. She¡¦d missed them all so much!

As they are speeding towards the courthouse Jimmy dials Bec¡¦s cell
phone.

¡§Bec when you get this message you need to head immediately to the
court house Bobby¡¦s in trouble and it¡¦s a matter of life and death!¡¨
Jimmy says unsure of how urgent things really are, with Lucy you can
never tell for sure, but better
to be safe than sorry.

¡§Good Jimmy give the woman a heart attack!¡¨ Ellenor grumbles
chastising him
as she delights in doing on a daily basis.

¡§Well for all we know it could be!¡¨ Jimmy defends himself.

Ellenor is breaking her speeding record and Jimmy hangs onto the dash
¡§Slow down before you get us all killed!¡¨

¡§Jimmy if you¡¦re going to be a back seat driver SIT in the BACK SEAT
NEXT TIME!¡¨ Ellenor growls totally ignoring his advice.

¡§You¡¦re just RUDE ELLENOR!¡¨ Jimmy snarls as he holds tighter to the
dash.

¡§Lucy why don¡¦t you explain what this is all about NOW!¡¨ Eugene
orders as
he settles uncomfortably next to Zoey¡¦s car seat.
&&&&&&&
  Lindsay is back at the cottage. She knows she is going to need a lot
of strength to get through this last night here. So she figures what
better way to
do it than to fortify herself with some wine. She takes a sip from
the
plentifully filled glass as she looks around the familiar kitchen.
She takes another big gulp as she realizes how many memories are in
this one room. Okay, so she knows the memories are in her heart¡K.but
seeing the rooms, standing in them makes it feels as though it¡¦s all
happening
again. All the meals they prepared in companionable silence, or the
teasing, harassing
bantering fun they had challenging one another¡¦s cooking skills which
of course
had always led to challenging more intimate expertise to come later,
upstairs.

She can¡¦t stay here. They¡¦d made love in here too. There isn¡¦t any
place
that doesn¡¦t hold their unified vibration. She gives up maybe it will
get easier,
take the bottle and head to the living room. It can¡¦t be this bad
everywhere in the house?
Can it? Of course it can. She knows she should have eaten because she
feels the effects
of the wine a little in her head. But she knows she can¡¦t eat
anything because it would
turn to pure acid the minute it hit her stomach. The wine was for her
nerves. Truth
be told she is one sorry coward when it comes to saying farewell to
Bobby Donnell.
No. She¡¦d been a sorry coward when it came to anything about Bobby.
Even
in admitting she loved him in the first place she was an utterly
spineless chicken.

She settles into the overstuffed chair in the living room gazing into
the
crackling fire, lost in remembering all the times she had backed away
from divulging those feelings. She was so afraid to tell him she had
them and once she did she was deathly afraid he would never return
them. What a fool!  So much wasted time. If she had known how fast
the time would go and how short an interlude they would have, would
she have made all the same mistakes?

Probably.

  She is still a coward. Really! I mean why hadn¡¦t she just taken the
high road and confronted Bobby about not telling her that he was
being considered to be a judge. Why didn¡¦t he tell her? Did he feel a
little like the committee did, that maybe she would
deter his career? It hurt. It hurt because he left her out once
again. She doesn¡¦t understand why he never even mentioned it. At
least he could have told her that he was being considered even if he
didn¡¦t want to divulge she was the reason he would never get it.
She gets why he wouldn¡¦t tell her that part, but the whole idea
of him being offered something so monumental, something
he¡¦s always dreamed of; to have that happen and NOT breathe
a word of it? That didn¡¦t mesh with her new Bobby at all. He should
have said something.

She remembers the vow they made before leaving Laharve that last
day. They promised that NOTHING would interfere with them
keeping open lines of communication. They swore they would
not clam up again. Keeping quiet was the deal breaker last time.
They¡¦d had new a deal, a deal he¡¦d already broken They were
supposed to tell one another everything and when he didn¡¦t, she took
it as the opportunity to get out. Was her motivation not completely
altruistic
after all? Was it the fear that the lines of communication were
already
blocked that had her rationalizing that she was sacrificing it all
for him?
Or was there a small part of truth that she was on the run as Bobby
and
Dr. Ash had accused? Was she scared to death to try again? She made
the decision too fast once again. Just like getting the divorce,
recklessly on the heels of a barely ink-
-dried-on- the-papers separation. She back pedaled then, and here
she is, mentally back-pedaling again now. She can¡¦t go back!
What¡¦s done is done.

Did she do it gracefully and without subterfuge?
NO. Maybe she hasn¡¦t grown up at all! What if she had told him? She
knows
what he would say he didn¡¦t care about the job¡K. he would have down
played
it and lost it, being humiliated in the process and she would have
blamed herself forever And at some point he would too. NO. She did
the ONLY thing she could do. She hated having to hurt him, she¡¦d
never wanted to do that again, she felt cruel shoving Ross in his
face she knew it was wrong but she knew Bobby and he would never back
off he thought there was the slightest chance. This way is better for
everyone. She knows she doesn¡¦t
really have much time and one night is all that is left¡K..going up to
the bedroom
had to be done¡K now in the daylight¡K. she couldn¡¦t stand to be there
at night.
She grabs the bottle taking a deep breath refills the empty glass.
Taking one
last look into the fire she sees them again, Bobby embracing her as
they
slip down into the downy blankets spread in front of the fireplace
the warm glow of the flames only igniting the passions inside, his
soft
moist kisses on her neck the soft tender intimate words they¡¦d shared
punctuated by sweet laughter, and then at last echoing ah¡¦s of
rapture and
fulfillment. She forces herself to ascend the stairs leaving the
images to
flicker out with the fire.

As she enters the room she stops as more images intertwine, seeing
all the beautiful nights meld together, candlelight interspersed with
music and silken gowns falling off her body as his fingers caressed
her flesh, and his kisses christened her his. She loved being his.
She loved calling him hers.

Her fingers go up to the delicate chain around her neck she pulls
the wedding rings out dangling them as the sunrays glowing through
the window
capture their sparkle. She sips some more of the second glass of wine
as she steps closer to the window letting the rings fall back to her
chest, jingling slightly as they brush each other. She opens the
window raising it to the maximum height. This is the
place she loves to hang out, she could sit here for hours watching
nature,
looking at the majestic trees and the iridescent water, drinking in
the
ambiance of this beautiful healing vista. They had planned to add a
balcony right here so they could have their morning coffee while
drinking in the peaceful serenity that surrounded Laharve. But that
plan like all the others was over.

She grasps the maroon filled glass planting
herself on the wide ledge gingerly inching her body out so she is
almost completely on the outside of the house. She absently plays
with the rings again trying to look down at them but the chain isn¡¦t
quite long enough and in her effort to do so she spills a substantial
amount of the permanent red staining liquid. ¡§Damn!¡¨ She exclaims as
she sets the glass down on the ledge. ¡§Oh well saying goodbye to a
piece of clothing is nothing¡K.¡¨ She dismisses the stain as more of
the blot that has encompassed her life. She remembers her intention
of looking at the rings. There is only one way to do that
effectively. She unclasps the chain and releases the rings pouring
them into her palm¡K. Looking at them again brings back more
undeniably sweet remembrances.

¡¥Marry ME¡¦ She smiles as she relives the shocked surprise Bobby¡¦s
words
invoked. She was laying flat on her back in that hospital bed, so
happy
to be alive and euphoric over having him by her side. They hadn¡¦t been
together as a couple for long, and she never expected him to say those
words, at least not that soon.

She knows there was no other answer than the one she gave. She wanted
to
marry him the day she met him. She wanted to be married to him
forever.
Tears hit the single perfect diamond causing the facets to sparkle
even
more brilliantly. Their clarity mocks her confusion yet she can¡¦t
stop looking at
them because the rings and memories is all she has left of her
dreams. How
does she make new ones now? How can you take a dream and change it
when you don¡¦t even want to? She reminds herself she has their son but
someday he won¡¦t be with her all the time¡K then what? She can¡¦t allow
her thinking to go that far ahead because it brings on a whole new
lonely
feeling she isn¡¦t about to experience yet even in her imagination.

She¡¦s glad she has a few hours to sit here and just be¡K she decides to
stop trying to think so much and just let things flow. ¡§That¡¦s it
Lindsay stop the spinning everything is out of your control. You¡¦ve
put
all of this into motion and now its done. Let it be. Let Bobby be.
You will always be married in your heart.¡¨ She tries to get her
heart to accept its fate as she holds the rings lovingly between her
fingers. She can¡¦t resist the urge to put them on one more time. She
wants
to bask for just an infinitesimal moment in what it felt like to be
his wife.
ONE LAST TIME she promises herself.

But as her habitual luck would have it fate has other ideas. As she
tries to slide
the plain band on to her finger she feels a little dizzy, never drink
on
an empty stomach she admonishes silently. Another wave of light
headedness
hits and she looses her balance slightly on the ledge and
with the unsettling motion her rings fall rolling quickly down her
leg and onto
the sloping roof. Lindsay spastically tries to catch them but in
vain. She watches in horror as she sees them slipping away powerless
to stop them and paralyzed by the symbolic truth that her life with
Bobby has slipped away too.

She holds her breath watching their wayward decent. She knows if they
fall to the ground she may never get them back. But to her relief the
two rings somehow miraculously stop their freefall. The diamond one
getting stuck
on a small jagged edge of a roof tile the wedding band lodging into a
little
crevice where a corner of tile is missing. Funny, how they both
managed to keep from crashing to the ground.

Lindsay only hopes she can do the same while trying to retrieve them.
She has to, she can¡¦t leave them there. She doesn¡¦t think twice about
it,
because sub-consciously she is rescuing her marriage, her life with
Bobby.
She can¡¦t let it go so easily. A part of her is determined to salvage
it
as much now as before, so she moves without hesitation making her way
slowly
onto the roof, standing on the inclined tiles wishing she had thought
to discard her heeled
shoes before embarking on this incredibly stupid mission. As she
tries to come
up with the safest plan possible to rescue her lost rings her body is
suddenly jarred
by the thundering sound of the window crashing down. She watches
in shock as the wine glass splinters into hundreds of pieces, the
shattering, shards of
fragile crystal fly in all directions wine spraying on the thankfully
in tact window
and all over the bedroom carpet.

Lindsay stares at the window in disbelief. How in the hell¡K. she
could have been
sitting under it! And then she sees that some fragments of glass have
fallen around her feet. Good thing she didn¡¦t take off those heels
after all. ¡§Ok, NOW what?¡¨ She decides
getting the window open will be more important for the moment than
rescuing her rings. She spied some suspicious clouds off in the
distance earlier
and knows she has no intention of spending much more time out on the
roof.
She inches towards the window planting her feet firmly and securely
before
bending down. She places her hands on either side she gives
it a mighty push. Adrenaline mixed with frazzled nerves should help
to accomplish it in no time. But NO! This is the joys of an old
house. The windows become quite stubborn with age, and it, like
everything else was on the list to
be replaced. Never put off today¡K. she thinks sarcastically as she
tries
again and again to lift it with no luck.

¡§Ok, stay calm. You¡¦re fine. So you¡¦re on a roof¡K you lost your
rings¡K.
on a roof¡K a storm could come at any time. You hate storms but
hey compared to everything else it¡¦s no big deal¡K I mean who hasn¡¦t
this happened to?¡¨

Lindsay is still keeping herself company with the sound of her
own voice. ¡§I¡¦m here, I¡¦m not going anywhere¡K. I might as well
try to get the rings¡K. the word rings brings her mind renewed hope
as she thinks of another kind of ring¡K she searches her pocket for
the cell phone but as she looks longingly into the bedroom she sees
it sitting ever so safely on her dresser. ¡§Good thinking Lindsay!¡¨
And of course you told Claire you turned it off so Bobby couldn¡¦t
find you, so now, the chances of her thinking anything is wrong
if she should try to call just went down the tubes.¡¨

¡§Okay Plan B¡Kyeah. that¡¦s never gotten you in any trouble!¡¨ She
grumbles unhappily.

Deciding when you are on the roof there are not enough options to
even get to a plan B,
Lindsay¡¦s thought go on another hopeful direction ¡§OK think Lindsay¡K.
maybe Claire or Sam will come by, they know she¡¦s here¡K.but no they
will respect her privacy. They know why she is here and that she
wanted this time all alone! Smart! Oh brother¡K what
in the HELL made her come here anyway! This is the worst
thing she could have done! She is determined not to let this get her
down
she is strong she can handle this! What¡¦s a little time on a roof
with nothing to keep
you company but your memories and a couple of  runaway rings! She
knows just
how to handle this! She does what any red blooded, frustrated,
slightly inebriated woman would do she sits down on a glassless patch
of roof and calmly and methodically cries her eyes out.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby has entered Judge Hiller¡¦s courtroom. He¡¦d just left her office
a few minutes
ago, and he needs some time to think quietly. He knew this could
happen but he needs
a few moments to let it sink in. The peaceful pin-dropping silence of
the empty room does nothing to calm him inside. He¡¦s still only half
focused on what transpired in Judge Hiller¡¦s office. He can¡¦t¡¦ stop
thinking about Lindsay. He wants to see her so badly. He wants to
talk to her, he needs her. He sinks into the chair deciding that his
legs feel
too wobbly to stand for much longer.

Okay Bobby, this is it, you have to figure out why she left you and
if there is anything
you¡¦ve missed in those way to revealing tapes or the book. Ross is
sure there is something, and somehow Bobby knows he is right. But
what is it? There¡¦s got to be at least ONE clue!  He can barely still
his thoughts enough to focus on one anything. So he sits there just
trying to still his reeling head. He doesn¡¦t hear the distant sirens
whirling  outside or the running stampede of feet parading down the
corridor. He doesn¡¦t notice anything. He has his eyes are closed in
deep contemplation and any outside noise just blends into the roar in
his head.

That is until the courtroom door crashes open and Helen comes rushing
through it.

That and the fact when she sees him she begins screaming his name and
gesturing wildly
with her hands. ¡§BOBBY! BOBBY! BOBBY! YOUR NOT ALONE YOU CAN TELL
ME EVERYTHING!¡¨

¡§What in the hell!¡¨ Bobby stands up quickly to find Helen shaking his
shoulders
as if she is trying to get him to come too consciousness from a deep
coma induced state. ¡§Bobby for GOD¡¨S SAKES TELL ME WHAT YOU
DID¡K.BEFORE THEY COME! I KNOW WE CAN GET YOU OUT OF THIS¡KBUT THEY¡¦RE
COMING BOBBY THEY¡¦RE COMING¡K.!!!!!¡¨ Helen warns him emphatically.

¡§Who¡¦s coming? The men in their little white coats to take you away?¡¨
Bobby steps
out of her grasp dusting himself off distastefully, finding it hard
to believe he ever enjoyed Helens¡¦ frantic embraces.

¡§Bobby I¡¦m trying to help YOU here the least you can do is
cooperate!¡¨ Helen
snaps not finding his reaction very appreciate at all!

¡§Help me with what?¡¨ Suddenly Bobby thinks maybe Helen has something
he
does want. ¡§Do you know where Lindsay is? Are YOU not telling
me because she told you not too?¡¨ He asked desperate for any light
she can shed on that subject.

¡§NO!¡¨ Helen shakes her head emphatically.

¡§HELEN if you do I swear!¡¨ Bobby threatens.

¡§I SWEAR BOBBY I DON¡¦T KNOW!¡¨ Helen practically growls back.

Bobby goes silent for a moment giving Helen the chance to get back to
the more serious matter at hand.

¡§Bobby YOU need to FOCUS on YOU!¡¨
  She is determined to let her help him, and she will! God knows
she¡¦s done it a thousand times and somehow she will once again if
it¡¦s the last
thing she does.

Bobby is used to Helen¡¦s drama so he¡¦s choosing to ignore it as
usual.
¡§Well have you looked for her, who have you called?¡¨ Bobby asks
insisting on getting his answers and if anyone knows how to
interrogate better
than Helen, it¡¦s Bobby.

¡§What?¡¨ Helen had met her match. She could tell by the set of Bobby¡¦s
jaw he would be giving her NOTHING until he obtained his information.

¡§WHO have you called to find Lindsay?¡¨

¡§How do you even know I know she¡¦s missing?¡¨ Helen asks forgetting
that
she¡¦s admitting it now, herself.

¡§Ah HA! You admit it?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s really upset now, if Helen doesn¡¦t
know where
she is who the hell does? How long has she been gone? Who have you
called?
Did you check with her brother? I haven¡¦t been able to get him?¡¨ Bobby
asked more anxious than ever to find Lindsay and his son.

¡§Bobby this isn¡¦t the issue!¡¨ YOU ARE! Now¡K¡¨ Helen feels Bobby¡¦ hands
grip her shoulders hard and his eyes roar into hers sending a chill
of intimidation
through her.

¡§Who HAVE YOU CALLED? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?¡¨ Bobby¡¦s a force
to be reckoned with, of course most desperate criminals are. Helen
decides
it¡¦s best to humor him although humor is the farthest thing from his
face
she¡¦s ever seen.

¡§I called her mom, her sister Grace, I called her aunt in Cleveland,
I couldn¡¦t get
Ben either and oh yeah I called Claire and Sam¡¦s.¡¨ Helen confesses in
one breath
afraid to keep him waiting too long.

¡§What did they say?¡¨ Bobby keeps his cross examination short but
stern. His ears
are pealed for any slight discrepancy in Helen¡¦s testimony.

¡§Her mom confirmed she left town with Bobby Jr. but didn¡¦t know where
she was going.
Her sister Grace said she hadn¡¦t heard anything, and Aunt Mable, in
Cleveland hadn¡¦t heard from her either but she has been having
trouble with her arthritis and needs some cat food¡K¡¨ Helen¡¦s voice
trails.

¡§What did Claire say?¡¨ Bobby asks his voice rising as he hears he is
no closer to finding her.

¡§Uh¡KIt was Sam, Claire was busy and he was weird as usual¡K I think he
said there was no one here but us chickens!¡¨ Helen eyes bulge as she
relives her first reaction to that very strange comment.

Bobby shakes his head in disappointed disgust. Damn no one knows
anything? And
what is it with Sam and those damn chickens! Anyone else?¡¨ Bobby ask
less
forcefully. Obviously Lindsay has no intention of being found.

¡§NO! Helen does a vulture like circle around Bobby. ¡§How can you be
thinking about her at a time like this! FOCUS Bobby you¡¦re life is
about to change forever! They are coming I tell you! NOW!¡¨ Helen
warns him in hushed more aggravated tones realizing her instructions
to Lucy about being discreet might be good for her to follow too.

¡§I have no idea what you¡¦re talking about Helen¡K¡¨ Bobby tries to be
patient
because God knows Helen has done him more than a few favors over the
years and he
figures there must be reason she is so worked up. But damn why
doesn¡¦t anyone
seem to know where Lindsay is?

¡§But YOU know YOU do Bobby confess it¡¦s okay we all do things¡K YOU
and Lindsay
more than anyone I¡¦ve ever known but¡K¡¨ Helen tries her softest
sweetest approach hoping he will finally see the light!

Ross can¡¦t wait outside any longer Helen called him to meet her
there, but she has
ordered him to stay outside. He¡¦s been eavesdropping and he can tell
that
this situation needs a clear headed objective voice to get Bobby to
see reason.
He comes out of his hiding spot just behind the courtroom door.

¡§Look Bobby Lindsay will forgive you for anything!¡¨ Ross steps
in determined to get Bobby to fess up. His finger points at
Bobby  and his eyes spark accusingly.

Bobby turns on a dime at the sound of Ross¡¦s voice seeing scarlet.

¡§I DIDN¡¦T DO ANYTHING SHE HAS TO FORGIVE!¡¨ He¡¦s not about
to let Ross make him the bad guy anymore! ¡§What the HELL have you
TOLD HER?¡¨
Bobby can just imagine the story Ross must have spun to make Lindsay
think Bobby needed forgiving!

¡§If that¡¦s the truth then why are you in trouble?¡¨ Ross asks
doubtfully, totally unaware
he¡¦s actually allowed himself to be swept up in Hurricane Helen and he
has in truth forgotten to base his conclusions on cold hard facts.

¡§I told you I¡¦m NOT!¡¨

¡§Look Bobby listen! Lindsay¡K You¡¦re THE MAN OF HER DREAMS¡K GOD knows
why¡K. But she¡¦d do anything for you! Never doubt it!¡¨ Ross informs
him on no uncertain terms.

¡§You don¡¦t need to tell me about my wife¡¦s dreams!¡¨ Bobby can¡¦t help
it
he knows Ross is a good guy, but this good guy slept with HIS wife!
And
from the revelations on those tapes he¡¦s been privy to those dreams
just
a little too much for Bobby¡¦s liking. Damn when is this feeling of
wanting
to crush him into pulp going to go away? Bobby takes a long deep
determined breath to compose himself.

Helen and Ross wait expectantly eager to hear his lurid confession.

His eyes ping pong from Helen¡¦s to Ross¡¦s trying to make sense
of whatever it is they are insinuating.
¡§You¡¦re both out of YOUR minds!¡¨ Bobby decides stating his conclusion
loudly.

What happened to his moment of peace and quiet? Why are these too
lunatics even here?

¡§Bobby throwing the attention off YOURSELF on us isn¡¦t going to
work!¡¨ Helen
insists folding her arms determinedly.

¡§Your NOT helping Lindsay or Bobby Jr. by refusing to cooperate!¡¨ Ross
instructs him appearing as though he¡¦s actually empathetic.

THAT¡¦S! IT!  Hearing his sons name uttered by that marriage-
wrecking
second rate author! Okay so he¡¦s an absolutely talented writer Bobby
dismisses
that fact in favor of hating this southern drawling nemesis whose
brought so much pain and chaos to their lives.

He¡¦s been as nice as he can, for as long as he can. Yes, he believes
in calm compassion and understanding these days¡K Dr. Ash told him he
has to. And he can count
to ten with the best of the mad beasts, but this? Ross telling him
about Lindsay and his SON? And exactly where does he get off talking
about Lindsay dreams! Bobby knows her dreams Bobby knows her
completely only HE knows her that way! No matter what the tapes
exposed his soul knows her better than anyone else. Same goes for
him, only Lindsay knows him that deeply. He wants Ross to go away!
What the hell is he doing here preaching to him about HIS OWN
WIFE! ¡§Why don¡¦t you go teach that damn bird of YOURS some manners
and stay the HELL away from me and MY FAMILY!¡¨ Bobby growls about
ready to hit something again. So much for anger
management.

He sees Helen and Ross have NO intention of going anywhere. They both
look like they¡¦ve come upon some poor homeless beggar and they
are JUST waiting for him to beg so they can clobber him with
kindness.

Bobby throws his hands out in frustration.
¡§Look I don¡¦t know what you think, or what you two are even doing
here¡K together?¡¨
Bobby questions this alliance. Ross and Helen! Talk about a lethal
combination!
¡§You better tell me fast what this is all about before I call
Harvey¡¦s Happy Home to
come and take YOU BOTH away Helen!¡¨ Bobby orders angrily.

¡§BOBBY YOU¡¦RE the one who is about to be carted away¡K¡¨ Helen¡¦s tirade
is interrupted by the intrusion of four more very agitated people
running into the room, all
huffing and puffing as if they have run the Boston marathon and just
crossed
the finish line in a pack coming in first, all at the same time.
There¡¦s a kind of combative air about them trying to shove their way
in and get close to Bobby as they can. Bobby¡¦s
eyebrows furrow as he tries to comprehend this entirely bizarre turn
of events.

Bobby looks at them all like aliens who have landed from another
planet. What
the hell is everyone doing here? ¡§WHAT¡¦S GOIN¡¦ ON!¡¨ He yells in an old
all too familiar voice. Aged habits die hard and it was always
effective before.
¡§DON¡¦T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO!¡¨ His eyes roll in confusion.

For a split second the former office pals all go back in time to that
endearingly familiar daily routine, where their beloved boss comes
out to tell them to stop chattering
and gossiping and get back to work!

Then as always they start yelling. Insults fly along with sarcasm and
everyone tries to
get a word in edgewise simultaneously.

¡§ I thought you were in trouble¡K?¡¨ Eugene says loudly but calmly.

¡§No¡K¡¨ Bobby denies still having no clue

¡§You were supposed to be practically dead!¡¨ Jimmy informs him. As he
looks around for a swat team or at least some blood.

¡§Yeah Lucy has one screw loose as usual thinking you were on the take
from some corrupted judge!¡¨ Ellenor shouts over the others.

¡§I did NOT say he was on the take I said he could be.¡¨ Lucy says
correctively and
more loudly drowning out the end of Ellenor¡¦s tirade.

¡§He¡¦s in denial!¡¨ Helen growls emphatically

¡§Bobby if you¡¦re in denial we need to talk!¡¨ Dr. Ash¡¦s voice joins
into the
clamoring herd.

¡§Do you really think he¡¦s going to admit he¡¦s on the TAKE?¡¨ Jimmy asks
no one in particular.

When did Dr. Ash come in? Bobby does a double take and a triple take
as he
absorbs that all of his friends think they have come to rescue him
from apparently
some dreaded fate he has brought upon himself.

¡§Bobby we¡¦re all here to help you. I¡¦m sure we can make a plea
bargain and get a reduced sentence.¡¨ Mikes calming voice soothes the
maddening
crowd. Helen turns in adoring affection because she knows he followed
her here.
He walks up to Helen putting his arm protectively around her
shoulders.

¡§On the take!¡¨ Bobby shakes head his blue eyes confused and his mind
reeling
with the fact that everyone is here and totally convinced  he has
committed some
reprehensible crime. Great¡K with friends like these¡K¡¨I¡¦m NOT
ON THE TAKE!¡¨ His voice emphasizes each word as his eyes do an
accusing
dance at all of them, they become the steel blue they turn when he is
MOST
determined to have things seen his way! He shakes his head enjoying
the
silence his booming voice created.

Then to his horror the I-gotta-out-yell-everyone-else din begins all
over again.

¡§YES you are, you have to be! Lucy says almost disappointed.

¡§Now Bobby if you¡¦re in over your head as usual¡K¡¨ Eugene tries to
placate him loudly
enough to be heard.

¡§Yes Bobby I mean look at what we did for Lindsay¡K if we can get her
out of
jail¡Kafter what she did!...¡¨ Ellenor assures him. ¡§You know we¡¦re
your best chance¡K Why in God¡¦s name didn¡¦t you come to us in the
first place!¡¨ Ellenor groans
like a disheartened mother.

¡§We¡¦ll get you off!¡¨
They say in unison but the garbled loud assurance is more like
a bunch of hyenas screaming and Bobby can¡¦t stand it anymore. In the
midst of it
all he sees someone else entering the courtroom and he decides to get
everyone
to shut up just so he can find out from her what is really going on.

¡§ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¨ His loud voice thunders
silencing them effectively
as it always had at least for a few seconds.

¡§Bec, thank GOD! What the hell is going on with them?¡¨
  Bobby asks shaking his head.

Bec approaches the eclectic sea of faces her eyes focused on Bobby¡¦s
only.
Good he¡¦s in one piece and he¡¦s yelling as usual, not TOO much can be
wrong.
Of course the relief she feels after the high speed rush to the
courthouse is
followed by white hot anger. Why in the hell is she even here?
¡§You¡¦re asking me? I have no idea¡K I got a call you were in dire
trouble¡K. what
have u gotten yourself into now?¡¨ Bec asks folding her arms like a
scolding parent
and joining in the accusations.

¡§E tu Bec?¡¨ Bobby asks¡K. running his hands through his hair in
remembered
frustration that this was one of the reasons he needed a break from
the office.
They all meant well but what was that about a road to hell? He laughs
suddenly because he finds it humorous for some strange reason. He¡¦s
felt
like he was on the road to hell today more than a couple of times¡K.
maybe that¡¦s
why.

¡§He¡¦s laughing¡K¡¨ Helen feels incensed by his callous reaction to all
their
good-intentioned warnings.

¡§Why are you laughing?¡¨ Helen snarls.

¡§Yeah what¡¦s wrong with you!¡¨ Bec slaps him on the shoulder
unsure why she¡¦s even doing it, but enjoying it none the less.
She misses slapping him on an almost daily basis. Her eyes
moistens as she revels in getting to finally do it again.

¡§He¡¦s obviously in denial!¡¨ Jimmy offers again running out
of any other explanation.

¡§Bobby it¡¦s okay to admit a mistake¡K. we can¡¦t help you until
you tell us the truth¡K¡¨ Dr. Ash tries to remain objective.

¡§He¡¦s in denial!¡¨ Jimmy says again, inciting Helen and
Ellenor to glare at him.

Jimmy shakes his head at them flapping his arms.
¡§What he¡¦s chicken maybe¡K I mean who would want to face jail time.¡¨

¡§You¡¦re the rooster here Jimmy all you do is cluck, cluck cluck!¡¨
Ellenor harasses him as only she can and loves too.

¡§Fine Ellenor you wanna call me names¡K. what about you
if I¡¦m a rooster you¡¦re a hen always acting like you have
an egg up your¡K.¡¨

¡§WHAT in the Hell is going on in my courtroom?¡¨ Comes the
fuming voice of the last but not least spectator to this strange
debacle.

Bobby smiles a little in relief. Good now someone has come
who they WILL finally listen too!

As he hears Judge Hiller questioning them his mind strangely recalls
the words Sam spoke to him on the phone. The same words Sam
used when talking to Helen. CHICKENS, ROOSTERS, HENS,
Hearing them shouted by Jimmy and Ellenor seem to bring
the conversation with Sam to the forefront of his mind.
But why the heck did he have chickens? That was as strange as Sam had
ever gotten and yet he couldn¡¦t help but feel Sam was trying to
use the chickens¡K in some weird way trying to relay some kind
of life lesson and Sam¡¦s voice had seemed so desperate
to have Bobby understand¡K. and suddenly he does! Oh my God
Sam was trying to tell him! Lindsay is the HEN!! He hits
his head with his hand as if to wake himself up! What an
idiot! Sam must have promised Lindsay NOT to tell him where she
was so he did the next best thing and Bobby missed it! He
knows Sam and Sam keeps his word if he promised not to tell HE
wouldn¡¦t. But
he did the only thing he could think to do without going back
on his word. He smiles like some giddy teenager who just
won his first baseball game, his grin becoming wider
and wider as the truth hits him squarely between the eyes he
laughs out loud as he sees Lindsay walking around with a chicken¡¦s
body
and himself as the always too stupid for words
Rooster! His laughter only serves to incense his highly unappreciated
and unwanted audience.

¡§Bobby explain to me why you think this is funny!¡¨ Judge Hiller
orders.
¡§What in God¡¦s name are you doing holding a party in MY courtroom! IT
IS MINE!¡¨ She reminds him mercilessly as always. ¡§Bobby this is NO
time for DAY DREAMING!¡¨ Hiller¡¦s voice is filled with ire.

¡§Uh¡K I didn¡¦t¡K.¡¨ Bobby¡¦s much too happy to worry about Judge Hiller¡¦s
displeasure for once.

Bec¡¦s expression is one of enlightenment.
¡§Oh my God! Bobby?¡¨ Bec has finally come to her senses.
Suddenly she knows exactly why Bobby is here in this courtroom
on a weekend day, and she knows why Judge Hiller is there too.
Why everyone else is, she can¡¦t even begin to want to imagine.

¡§Bobby?¡¨
She asks hopefully. But Bobby¡¦s mind has taken another private
turn. Lindsay would do anything for him. Dreams two dreams, one was
marrying her, the other was baseball, but there had been a third¡K. he
remembers now. Oh my God
her words on the tape come back to haunt him now. He¡¦d told her there
at Laharve
in their secret paradise about how someday if he ever could salvage
his questionable
reputation, he would love to become a judge. He remembers being
afraid she
might laugh hysterically, but she didn¡¦t. She¡¦d always made all his
dreams seem
attainable. She¡¦d whisper with him and add to the dream, envisioning
it with him.
He hears her voice again as it played on the tape.

  ¡¥he said he had only two¡K¡K but I remember another one¡K. he told me
about after¡K¡¦

¡¥There was one other dream¡K.. he deserves to have ALL his dreams¡K..
Bobby¡¦s had it hard, and now¡K I have too, I know¡Kbut when you love
someone you make sure they have everything they need most¡K you know¡K¡¦

Bobby¡¦s mouth drops open and the smile leaves his mouth as he hears
another
part of the tape he had memorized in his head.

¡¥Sometimes you have to let go of a dream to have another one.¡¦

¡¥I liked being his dream¡K¡K I think I stopped being that and turned
into somewhat of a nightmare for him¡K though and I never wanted to¡K¡¦

All of it comes back to him with such clarity. He remembers the third
dream the one
he told to her and only her, and how fitting that she is there now,
where he told her.
He can¡¦t believe he didn¡¦t see it before! Someone had to have tattled
to her about the
judge¡¦s committee, and Hiller retiring? He¡¦d hardly told a soul but
now he knows she has to have figured it out. Lindsay is no dummy!
Well on second thought maybe she is because if she thought she was
going to get away from him that easily! What was she thinking? She is
ready once again to sacrifice herself
for something she thought he wanted MORE THAN HER! If that is what
this is then she IS crazy! He knows now she has to KNOW! She is doing
this, has DONE all of this because she¡¦s known all along! Oh my God!
It all fits! The mixed signals, the returned kisses, and the passion
they shared. Then the tears the denials¡Ksaying she hadn¡¦t
forgiven him for his infidelity¡K lies ALL lies! She has purposely
done all of this to give him that damn dream! Doesn¡¦t she know who he
is? Doesn¡¦t she know what she means to him? God he has to be sure.
This has to be it! What if he¡¦s wrong, then he¡¦s back to ground zero.
His eyes shadow as he thinks of what it would mean to
be wrong about his conclusions.

The strangely never this silent audience seems to sense that Bobby is
having some
sort of epiphany. They wait expecting him to tell them what he¡¦s
thinking.

He comes to his senses suddenly happy he has a captive audience. Let
them
figure out what the HELL they are all doing here he
could care less! He¡¦s on his own crusade. ¡§Which one of you told
Lindsay?¡¨ He knows he¡¦s on the right track now. He has to be! His
shoulders straighten and he buttons
his suit jacket just as he does when preparing for a crucial cross
examination.

His eyes peruse each one of their faces trying to see some guilt or
some conspiracy-type
exchange of looks. ¡§I Know Lindsay KNOWS so tell me who told her!¡¨
Bobby paces in
front of them doing his best Perry Mason intimidation walk.

¡§We don¡¦t know what she knows Bobby? We are trying to find that out
from YOU!¡¨
Helen says totally clueless as to what Bobby is jabbering about?

¡§Yes ONE Of YOU had to have told her! SHE knows I was up for Judge
Hiller¡¦s seat on the bench, I never told her because they didn¡¦t¡K but
she knows! ¡§SHE KNOWS!¡¨ He finishes unable to entertain uttering a
word that might indicate someone didn¡¦t approve or totally adore
Lindsay.

¡§SEAT ON THE BENCH!¡¨  The choir is singing a different tune. They all
sound and appear to be completely shell-shocked. The only two in the
room who are not are Bec and Judge Hiller.

Bobby watches as Helen¡¦s mouth drops into a long dumbfounded OH
shape.

He sees Lucy¡¦s eyes bulging with surprise.

Jimmy and Eugene cock their heads as if they have too much wax build
up
in their ears to have heard right.

Ellenor folds her arms and sniffles a bit shifting her body from one
foot to the other.

Dr. Ash is speechless a baffled look gracing her normally unruffled
face.

Ross eyebrows seem permanently glued to his forehead.

Mike is giving Helen an ¡¥I told you so¡¦ meaningful gaze.

As Bobby takes it all in he realizes he is wrong. No one looks
guilty! NOT
one damn indication that he has found perpetrator to this crime. NO
answer to Lindsay¡¦s erratic behavior. The euphoria he¡¦d felt moments
ago vanishes just as quickly.
He takes lets out a deep deflated breath. Judge Hiller slides her way
through the
collective group to make eye contact with Bobby.

¡§Are you saying you¡¦ve never discussed this possible court
appointment with YOUR wife?¡¨ Bobby feels the familiar scolding voice
tingling up his back.

All ears are peeled for the answers the communal brains are suddenly
realizing all the
wrong conclusions that have been jumped too and many of them are
blushing
hotly over their false accusations and mislead good intentions but
none of them
are confessing.

¡§Did you tell her Bec?¡¨ He asked almost hopefully. He knows from past
experience the most sacred secrets are NOT safe in the ears of his
dearest
friends.

¡§NO! Bobby I never said a word. I wouldn¡¦t you know that!¡¨ Bec¡¦s
wounded voice shrinks the little bit of hope Bobby has left.

¡§Did you Lucy?¡¨ Bobby decides maybe he¡¦s not as good at reading a
guilty
face as he used to be. So he asks imploring her to confess it was her
usual
snooping that did him in.

¡§NO!

¡§You can ask Dr. Ash she¡¦ll tell you she knows I¡¦ve been working
really
hard on minding my own business¡K until Helen came along!¡¨ Lucy gives
Helen
a derisive look placing the blame where it belonged. Her eyes desert
Helen
to give Bobby a beaming, approving smile.

  Bobby a seat on the Bench that¡¦s awesome!¡¨ Lucy adds so proud of
him.
¡§You¡¦re going to be adorable in that black silk!¡¨ Lucy gushes
determined
to turn his cheeks crimson. She loves to make him blush.

But Bobby¡¦s far too engrossed in exposing the guilty party to notice
Lucy¡¦s
teasing remarks. His eyes go to the dumbfounded ones of Jimmy and
Eugene and they
respond shaking their heads wordlessly.

He even sets a gaze on Ross who mouth¡¦s a silent no.

¡§Bobby why in the hell didn¡¦t you tell us?¡¨ Helen asks feeling very
much smaller than
her already diminutive size.

¡§I couldn¡¦t ¡K I mean¡K¡¨

¡§Bobby.¡¨ Judge Hiller pokes him in the chest. ¡§Why in the world
wouldn¡¦t you talk to your wife about something as important as this!¡¨

¡§It wasn¡¦t important¡K if she doesn¡¦t know¡K¡¨

¡§OH SHE KNOWS!¡¨ Judge Hiller assures him.

¡§She does?¡¨ A gigantic smile spreads across his face. ¡§Did YOU tell
her?¡¨
Bobby can¡¦t imagine Judge Hiller getting involved personally in any
way but
maybe in her eagerness to get Bobby appointed she saw Lindsay
and talked about it innocently.

¡§NO! Of course I would NEVER tell her. I knew there were sensitive
issues¡Kbut she came to see me and I found out that Judge Kittleson
let it slip out somehow.¡¨

¡§I BET!¡¨ Bobby growls now realizing the full measure of his
folly. ¡§OH God, what did she say?¡¨ All the while he is silently
berating himself
for NOT telling her. He¡¦d dismissed it as unimportant in the great
scheme of
his life and now what he withheld has almost destroyed him. When is he
going to learn? ¡§Was she upset?¡¨ Bobby asks eagerly hoping against
hope.

¡§Nothing really, other than I should NOT mention to you under
any circumstances that she knew about this. She gave me the
impression she intended to discuss it with you. I thought she just
wanted to make sure I didn¡¦t tip you off. I mean you really
had it coming and I wasn¡¦t about to interfere in YOUR wife¡¦s
priviledge of
letting you have it! She left quickly as she came in. I guess I am
the culprit you¡¦re looking for Bobby?¡¨ Judge Hillers expression is
unusually soft and
apologetic.

Bobby does something completely forbidden in any courtroom
on the earth. He picks up the tiny woman spins her around
in happy relief.

¡§FOR GOD¡¦S SAKE BOBBY DONNELL PUT ME DOWN AT ONCE!¡¨
Judge Hiller can¡¦t help allowing a little chuckle as Bobby kisses her
on the cheek
in triumphant joy.

¡§SHE KNOWS! THANK GOD SHE KNOWS!¡¨ Bobby takes a look
at the small crowd surrounding him and his heart swells with
affection, even if they were misguided they loved him enough
to still care even after he abandoned them the way he did, and that
meant everything.
He wishes he could take the time to tell them. But he can¡¦t, not now.

¡§I GOTTA GO! I know where she is, I have to stop her!¡¨ If she takes
off it could take
weeks to catch up to her. He¡¦s doesn¡¦t care about anything else!
Let them figure out whatever they came here to discover.
He realizes one wasted minute could spell
disaster, because he doesn¡¦t know if she is still at Laharve, she
could
have left by now with no one knowing her destination. He can¡¦t
let that happen.

He starts to push his way past all of them but half way out the
door he remembers he has no car. ¡§I don¡¦t have a car!¡¨ He
says it out loud realizing what a deterrent he faces trying to get
to Lindsay as fast as he can.

¡§Here take mine!¡¨ Ellenor is smiling from ear to ear. ¡§It¡¦s in
row nine new blue mini van with license plate. BAR A CUDA

Bobby doesn¡¦t even notice that Bec, Ross, Mike and Dr. Ash all
have their car keys dangling from there fingers also ready to share.

¡§Thanks Elle!¡¨ Bobby uses the nickname with such sweet appreciation
it brings
tears to her eyes. Whatever is happening with Bobby he¡¦s changed she
can see
it and it makes her incredibly happy for him. ¡§By the way I¡¦ve always
loved
your hundred and twenty earrings!¡¨ Bobby calls back over his
shoulder.

The spectators have been mesmerized by Bobby¡¦s atomic energy but
they suddenly spark into action shouting orders at him as he walks
quickly towards the door.

¡§DON¡¦T screw this UP!¡¨ Bec calls to him sternly always and forever
the best man.

¡§Don¡¦t scare her off Bobby remember to watch that temper!¡¨ Dr. Ash
yells after him.

¡§THERE he goes again back OFF THE MARKET!¡¨ Lucy cries out happily.

¡§GO GET HER BOBBY!¡¨ Eugene orders satisfied Bobby doesn¡¦t need
him at all.

¡§IF YOU TWO DON¡¦T GET IT RIGHT SOON I¡¦M GOING TO HAVE
AN ULCER!¡¨ Helen calls unable to resist chipping her two cents in.

¡§IT¡¦S ABOUT DAMN TIME, IF YOU TWO HAD LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST
PLACE NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!¡¨ Ellenor smiles from earrings
to earrings.

¡§GIVE MY GODSON A KISS!¡¨ Jimmy calls out because everyone else
has covered what he wanted to say.
&&&&&&&
As they all follow Bobby to the door and watch him break into a run
half way down
the courthouse hallway they return to the room and  each other to try
to figure out
the puzzle Bobby has left behind him.

¡§So is he a judge or isn¡¦t he?¡¨ Lucy asked pointedly staring at Judge
Hiller.

¡§Why didn¡¦t Lindsay know what? Jimmy asks clueless.

¡§Where in the heck is Bobby going?¡¨ Ellenor realizes she may not get
her
car back for days or even weeks a little too late.

¡§It¡¦s about damn time!¡¨ Eugene exclaims a big teddy bear grin
beaming.

¡§I thought I¡¦d never see this day!¡¨ Dr. Ash shakes her head happily
making
mental plans for that vacation.

¡§Is Bobby really a judge? Will someone tell me what¡¦s going on!¡¨
Jimmy yells out
pacing in circles.

¡§Why didn¡¦t he tell us?¡¨ Ellenor says shaking her head in perplexed
annoyance.
¡§Why does he always tell you everything Bec!¡¨

¡§Why would he tell any of you? Bobby on the take! IMAGINIE!¡¨ Bec
clucks at all
of them knowing how perfectly reasonable it is for Bobby to confide
in her. Look
what happens with them and a little bit of too much of the wrong
information.

¡§How the heck are we all going to get back to work? Smart! Ellenor!¡¨
Jimmy
bellows as his stomach growls and he realizes suddenly he¡¦s missed
lunch.

Again as the pandemonium rises and Judge Hiller takes a seat behind
the bench rapping the gavel to get some order in her courtroom!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay eyes are red from crying. Her throat feels parched and dry
and the wind
is picking up blowing her hair all askew. She knows there is maybe
three hours of daylight left and the clouds she saw in the distance
earlier are drawing darker and closer.
What can she do? She can¡¦t build a fire to signal anyone. She has no
matches
no sticks, NOTHING! And even if she did with her luck today, the whole
cottage would probably burn down!


This is the most frustrating feeling. And on top of that
she¡¦s had a nonstop view of the backyard and that damn gazebo.
She remembers how Bobby surprised her that first weekend. He had
it all set up, for them to sleep outside on that
beautiful, late spring night. There had been so much tension and
many misunderstandings before they¡¦d finally let go of all the fears
enough
to make love. Of course neither of them dared admit that is was love.
But she smiles as she sweetly recalls the enchantment of spending
the evening in his arms. She felt as though she¡¦d been lifted out of
the darkness forever the moment she became his. Her dream of finding
this Knight in Slightly Tarnished but Noble Armor came true. In Bobby
Donnell¡¦s embrace she felt like a fairytale princess. She found the
happiness
that had thus far eluded her. It was as though they were under a
magical
spell and nothing could break them apart. Each moment was to be
cherished and savored like a perfectly aged wine. They¡¦d fished
and played together like a couple of teenagers, they teased and
taunted
and bantered and challenged each other, laughing in a lighthearted
happiness she¡¦d never known before. And then those nights, those few
precious nights she believed would be all she ever had of him, were
like
priceless jewels, shimmering moments she would treasure forever. And
he
made each one more heavenly.

It was so blissful to lay in his arms and watch
the stars, so romantic and so unlike the Bobby she¡¦d known up
to that point in Boston. He¡¦d made it a perfect weekend, and she
didn¡¦t ever want to leave. It had become tradition for them after
their
marriage to spend at least one night in the backyard basking in the
moonlit
glow, making love, leisurely and cuddling closer through the evening
to ward off the
morning chill. Cuddling and spooning together in the sweetest of
dreams. He would kiss her awake at dawn passionately requesting a
breakfast that had nothing to do with food.
She¡¦d pretend to be asleep savoring each of his little ticklish
butterfly like bribes parading down her neck into the crevice between
her breasts that beckoned her to
open her eyes. At last after a few extra moments of torture she would
happily give
in to those smoldering blue eyes.


They¡¦d felt more alive those mornings, more in tune with one another
and nature. And those soft sweet rose-scented kisses that reawakened
the
passion of the night before, the most wonderful way to embrace the
new day.

He¡¦d made her breakfast and brought it to the gazebo that first time.
She loved he brought her here, where he¡¦d never brought another soul.
He shared so much of himself with her then. And she had fallen so
deeply in love over that exquisite holiday weekend. They were
supposed to live happily ever after. But fairy tales are for
children. Someone should
tell them while they are young NOT to base your life believing in
them. You get
your heart broken and the end of the story is never what you dream it
will be.

Yes, you have fun, and memories and if you¡¦re lucky a little boy or a
baby girl to hold
the love you once shared forever in your heart. But by then your
heart feels like its
a crystal goblet that got smashed by a ten ton window and before your
through, you¡¦ve let yourself become so fragile and weak because
you¡¦ve pinned all your hopes and dreams on being with someone
forever, but forever never comes. Lindsay knows
its not like that for everyone but it is for her. Why? Why? She¡¦s
asked herself
that thousand of times. Why couldn¡¦t it be different and when at last
it does
become what it could be, you lose it. Or if you¡¦re crazy you give it
up.

She can¡¦t quite believe it herself sometimes, she¡¦s thrown in the
towel, she
never gave up on anything! But now doing this so irrevocably made her
feel like she wouldn¡¦t be able to fight for anything ever again.
Giving
up is NOT what she has ever been about. At least until now.

She¡¦d given up on getting her rings back too. She tried every way she
could but the
damn things were too far down the and even without her heels on she
couldn¡¦t
negotiate the slant of the roof and keep her balance while trying to
liberate
them. There were places on the tiles that looked suspiciously fragile
and she
could not risk falling.

She prayed that they would stay where they were so Sam or a repairman
or someone could get them down for her. A gust of wind barreled over
the roof and the
the ring that seemingly was lodged on the tile shook a little,
Lindsay watched it
willing it to stay put. And it seemed to sense her desires because it
only moved
a bit.

She decides this is NO time to be a chicken, she needs to get herself
inside
the house, she¡¦s going to risk life and limb and make her way around
to the
other side, maybe the window in the spare bedroom will open and this
ordeal will be over! And what if it doesn¡¦t? Well then she¡¦ll just
come back
this way, she can be versatile, she can waltz around this roof
without a problem,
its all in her head that its high and steep. She is a bright
independent woman
who can take care of herself just fine! As she turns to start her
journey around
the roof, she realizes she¡¦d be leaving her precious rings
unattended.

¡§FINE! I guess I¡¦ll risk breaking my neck because I¡¦m NOT going to
lose those
rings too!¡¨

She decides the roof is too rough and jagged to try again without the
heeled shoes. So
she places one on each foot and rises carefully to her feet. She
edges across cautiously
taking baby steps deciding which way shortest to accomplish her goal.
The old tiles
make a crackling sound under her feet and she marvels at how loud
they sound
even over the din of the wind. She¡¦s made good progress the diamond
ring on the tile
is only about five feet away, she won¡¦t look down. She can¡¦t afford
too, this is NOT
a fun thing to do while whiling away time on a roof. Her humor takes
over
as it often has in a crisis and she thinks she could write a book
called ¡§Forty
Things NOT to do When you GET STUCK ON A ROOF¡¨ She laughs out
loud as she sarcastically grumbles. ¡§Yeah Lindsay maybe Ross will
help
you get it published!¡¨

She has momentarily forgotten to pay close attention to her footing
which turns
out to be a very costly mistake. Her foot takes one more step out and
the ring
is plainly in sight but as she bends to grab it her heel spears
through the rotted tile
and her ankle follows busting a nice foot size hole through the roof.
She
tries jiggling her foot out but her pant leg is caught on some unseen
obstruction and in the process she manages to lodge her
whole foot between a rafter or something wood like she isn¡¦t sure
what. She
tries to wrench it free but screams out in pain and hopelessness.
t
¡§GREAT!¡¨ Lindsay looks up at the sky with a threatening look that
would normally scare the thunder away. That is any other day. Today
the menacing look only serves to incite the sky as
the first clap of it crashes off in the distance. Did she just imagine
that a drop of rain just hit her cheek? It¡¦s hard to tell because her
waterfall of tears has begun again. She is stuck. How appropriate.
She feels stuck all right. She is here standing on her own roof, one
foot in, one foot out!
Her rings are the least of her worries now, and YES to make it much
more fun a lovely, late summer thunder storm is about to descend upon
her! ¡§Yup Lindsay this could happen
to anyone!¡¨ She tries to stop the tears because if she starts again
she might create a flood of her own. ¡§DAMN IT WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I
NEED YOU BOBBY DONNELL!¡¨ Not that she wants it to be him. She doesn¡¦t
want him to rescue her because if he did she would NEVER let him take
off
and fly away again. Superman. She remembers that client with the
husband
who thought he was Superman. She could sure use HER Superman about
now.
&&&&&&&&&&

Forwarded Message [ Download File | Save to Yahoo! Briefcase ]

Date: Sun, 03 Dec 2006 15:15:04 -0000
To: thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com
From: "spoiledprincess7@..."
<spoiledprincess7@...>
Subject: Re: anyone sill read this board

Plain Text Attachment [ Scan and Save to Computer | Save to Yahoo!
Briefcase ]

I still come around a lot. I miss everyone on here and how this
board
used to be.

Faith, I agree, I miss ENCORE. I was just thinking that the other
day
because I wanted to re-read it but I don't have it saved anymore :(
And I lost it on my other computer. *sigh*

Lynds.

The site I read it on I can't seem to find. It was on tvshowsondvd.com i think.
i just happened to be searching for another show and came up on it.
grace wairimu <wwachikuni@...> wrote:          what site is it?
am still so interested on the practice
i try to watch the reruns on fx when am not in school which is not a whole lot
i also try to find anything new or something i haven't read in a long time

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
i read on a site that its not coming out until april 2007.

grace wairimu <wwachikuni@...> wrote: yup i still read
i'll be a fan forever
anybody know where i can get season dvd

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote: do anyone still intrest in reading anything
from this group

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]









Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"








---------------------------------
Access over 1 million songs - Yahoo! Music Unlimited.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Why yes I do. I STILL MISS THE PRACTICE and this group!!!

   Jewel, if you're stil there I miss ENCORE :)

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
           yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote: do anyone still intrest in reading anything
from this group

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






---------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

what site is it?
   am still so interested on the practice
   i try to watch the reruns on fx when am not in school which is not a whole lot
   i also try to find anything new or something i haven't read in a long time

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
           i read on a site that its not coming out until april 2007.

grace wairimu <wwachikuni@...> wrote: yup i still read
i'll be a fan forever
anybody know where i can get season dvd

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote: do anyone still intrest in reading anything
from this group

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

i read on a site that its not coming out until april 2007.

grace wairimu <wwachikuni@...> wrote:          yup i still read
i'll be a fan forever
anybody know where i can get season dvd

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote: do anyone still intrest in reading anything
from this group

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]









Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"







  __________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

yup i still read
   i'll be a fan forever
   anybody know where i can get season dvd

Kiosha Jefferson <kiosha70126@...> wrote:
           yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote: do anyone still intrest in reading anything
from this group

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

yep. im still here.

Mary <hoaauus2003@...> wrote:          do anyone still intrest in reading
anything from this group









Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means being able to see beyond
the imperfections"







  __________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

do anyone still intrest in reading anything from this group

Hey,

The new place I started actually isn't a Yahoo! group, its a message
board.  Most of the people there are from my other obsession,
24/TonyandMichelle/Reiko Aylesworth, but I would absolutely LOVE it if
you came around! I am trying to find some more TP/Kelli fans so that
her section isn't so bare!!! And I just really want someone to discuss
with!! But its so hard to find active fans anymore... they are like an
extinct species, haha.. Anyways, I really hope you come around. Here is
the link

http://z14.invisionfree.com/Going_Sailing/index.php?act=idx

I will have to confirm your registration before you can get in, but
once your in, please just come in and introduce yourself! Everyone is
really friendly, I'm sure you will get a warm welcome!? Well, I'd best
be going!

Elena

-----Original Message-----
From: Elise <y_eliz76@...>
To: thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Fri, 28 Jul 2006 12:58:30 +0200 (CEST)
Subject: RE : [thepracticefanfiction] A NEW message board to discuss
TP/BobbyLindsay/Kelli

      Thank youuuuu .....I'm more than interested ...I can't wait !!

   Melly <best_1_98@...> a écrit : Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2006 08:33:29
-0000
  To: thepracticefanfiction@yahoogroups.com
  From: "neptun3637" <neptun3637@...>
  Subject: A NEW message board to discuss TP/BobbyLindsay/Kelli

  If anyone is still interested in discussing this show, Kelli Williams,
  Bobby and Lindsay, or, and I know this is random Reiko Aylesworth and
  Tony and Michelle of 24, please let me know. I am starting a new
  message board for such things, and its invite only, so email me, or
  reply to this message for details!! We would love to have you, we just
  want to make sure we only get fans, not just random spammers...
  Thanks, and have a wonderful day!


  ---------------------------------
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