ENCORE With a TOUCH OF SOUL Part 29

Disclaimer: You know what it means.

Ok and I gave up using … etceteras marks because the message board
puts all kinds of other symbols, so there are dashes in between where
etceteras marks would be in the dialogue I hope that works! Anyway
its long and hopefully again worth your wait!

Thanks for letting me know you are still enjoying this by some
miracle after
all this time!  I appreciate all the sweet support!
&&&&&&&&&&
Bobby is speeding he knows it, but he doesn't give a damn. He is
about half way
there. His mind is conflicted and racing, his heart is palpitating
with the excitement and
and anticipation of finding her at last! What in the hell was she
thinking!
He goes between euphoric happiness and irritated annoyance. HOW DARE
she unilaterally decided what was best for him again! DAMN! Why
in the HELL would she put him through this for a STUPID JOB!

What happened to open, honest communication? Okay, so he wasn't
open and honest about the judge's committee. But he had his reasons!
A little reasonable voice inside his head (he has finally taken to
listening
to lately) reminds him she had hers too. He smiles as he
remembers again sharing his dreams with her. His emotions are
are like a seesaw. One minute he is overcome with elation and the next
he can't believe she'd run away from him again. He becomes
furious with her for having done all this to protect him. He didn't
need
protecting! He needed her! She's all he's ever needed.

At least he knows she is still there he called Claire as soon as he
started out.
No sense in behaving foolishly and not double-checking his instincts,
unlike
a bunch of his so-called-friends back in Boston. But he knows they
only
had his welfare at heart so some day after he has harassed them
mercilessly about their mistake, especially HELEN, he will forgive
them
and even thank them.

He smiles broadly, as he thinks about his conversation with Claire.
He knows
she is as loyal as Sam but much more likely to spill the truth because
she has that innate sense of when it's okay to dishonor your word
that Sam
does not. He was glad Claire is the one who answered his call. The
last
thing he wanted was another `chicken analogy' from Sam. He laughs
aloud
as he recalls the exchange word for word.

`Claire it's Bobby.'

`Yeah I'm fine, listen I need you to answer a question. I need a
straight answer
and I need it NOW!'

`Sure Bobby what is it?' Claire's voice had sounded hopeful.

`DO YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER HAD OR RAISED ANY CHICKENS, HENS,
or ROOSTERS?' Bobby asked it doing his best not to sound like a
lawyer but failed miserably.

Claire's triumphant laughter is still ringing in his ears.

`TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!' She had exclaimed.

`Yeah well, YOUR husband is one strange man!"

`I know strange and wonderful, as is your wife.' She had teased
apparently feeling free to
drop a few more hints.

`Tell me is the hen hanging out with the chick at your place?' Bobby
asked
deciding its kind of fun to sound crazy sometimes. He'd never admit
that to Sam.

`Well no, the chick is with me the Hen chose another Hen House for
the night
but I think she definitely plans to flee the coop tomorrow morning.'

`Well I think she'll be changing that flight plan if her ROOSTER has
anything
to say about it!' Bobby had happily informed Claire.

`Bobby, you're going to tease Sam forever about this aren't you?'

"Ohhhhhhh Yeah! And a day!' Bobby admitted coming up with all kinds
of torture for
Claire's poor unsuspecting husband.

`Good he deserves it! I've never heard such a lame analogy in all my
life.' Claire
laughed along with Bobby. It felt so good to feel free to laugh again
about anything.

`Bobby do you want us to let her know you're on your way?" Claire
offered.

`OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You leave this to me!' Bobby
ordered relishing the thrill of surprise. Yes, this is one time
Lindsay Dole
needed to be taught a lesson about giving him up, for some greater
purpose.
The first time she'd done it was so Helen could have him, like he ever
really wanted her! And now she's doing it all over again to make sure
he gets
a seat on the bench! Only God knows what she'd relinquish him for
next! No way is this going to happen ever again! He intended on
getting this through her thick skull once and for all!

`Bobby go easy on her, whatever has happened I know that hen is just
as in love with you as she's always been.' Claire said it so assuredly
that it brought a contented smile to Bobby's face. He can hardly wait
to get there.

`I love her too, just as much as- I need to tell her.' Bobby frowned
because
somehow he had failed to make her believe it once again.

`I'm so happy this is the way it's supposed to be!' Claire sounded a
little teary.

`Claire, from your mouth to God's ear!' Bobby had agreed.

`Oh and Bobby the weather forecast isn't good so drive carefully
there's rain and thunderstorms predicted. By the way, I knew you'd
come.'
Claire had said letting him know her intuition was healthy as ever.

`Somehow that doesn't surprise me!' Bobby had experienced many
of Claire's moments of clairvoyance he knew better than to challenge
anything she said. `I'll see you soon Claire, but first I'm going to
find my wife. Bobby Jr. is doing okay?' He asked suddenly longing to
hug his boy.

`He'll being doing great once his thick-headed parents reunite!'
Claire
had never been one to spare Bobby any truths.

`Yeah, Me too! Bye.'

Bobby smiled again grinning like a maniac as he recalled the whole
conversation for about the tenth time. He'd remembered to phone Bec
too, asking her to please rent
a mini-van for Ellenor while he was away. He had no intention of
rushing this
reunion. He wanted it to last a lifetime, and no matter what it took
he wasn't
leaving without his wife and son by his side. If he had to pay for
the mini-van
rental for a month it would be chicken feed compared- Bobby can't
believe how easily
chickens infiltrate your mind. He smiles trying to envision the look
on Lindsay face
when she sees him show up. He's can't wait to have her stammering and
stuttering
and trying to come up with a defense for her lapse of rational
thinking. He will delight
in teasing the hell out of her before he lets her off the hook this
time.

His thoughts take a more serious turn as he remembers it won't be all
fun
and games. NO. There's been a great deal misunderstanding that have
caused needless pain and suffering for them both. He's had the worst
time of his life this last few weeks and he doesn't intend to ever
repeat
the experience. He knows they are going to have to come to terms with
Ross
and the ramifications of her relationship with him. Ross loved
Lindsay, and
she may have had feelings. He doesn't want to go there. But he can't
quite
understand how she opened up to Ross so completely, Lindsay had been
cautious with new acquaintances, a background check wouldn't have
satisfied her doubt. She'd been through so much, who could blame her?


She had to protect herself, and he understood why. But with Ross she
let
all her guards down. Why would she do that, if she didn't care for
him at
least a little? He knows Ross's betrayal had been devastating to her,
he'd been
there to bandage the wounds. She denied loving Ross, and maybe he
believes
she doesn't, but there was something there. Lindsay would never have
turned to Ross and
confided as she had if there wasn't. He knows he should just
wait and talk to her, but his mind has become a masterful torture
chamber
lately, and he can't seem to stop it from laying on that bed of nails
even now.

Dr. Ash- He chuckles when he thinks of her appearing out of no where
with the
others to rescue him. He knows how lucky he and Lindsay were to find
her.
He wonders if she is feeling the same way after today.

Which one of the office busy-bodies enlisted her help? He guesses
Lucy, or maybe Helen. For all he knew Helen had the same shrink. God
knows she could use one! His thoughts return to the reason why he
thought of his therapist. Dr Ash told him he had
to be ready to forgive Lindsay for the infidelity. His mind accepts
it, and
understands it, but his heart is another story. It hurt like HELL!
Tears zing
his eyes and he wipes them away preferring the road not to go blurry
while
he's driving. He will have to talk to her about it. He has to find a
way
for it NOT to matter and mean it forever. He can't go throwing it in
her
face all the time. He knows all too well how difficult it is to hear
about
your past indiscretions every time you turn around. And who is he
NOT to forgive Lindsay after what he had done. But his devil's
advocate
reasoning goes into overdrive on this point, because he and Lindsay
were
as far apart as two hardly married people can get when he stupidly
cheated.

He's NOT making excuses. He shouldn't have done it period! But that
rebel of a male chauvinist pig still residing deep inside is having a
hard time saying what Lindsay'd done was the same thing. They had
RECONCILED! They were ready to tell
their son! They were planning on buying a house! They even talked
about having
another child!

They were having the time of their live, planning, and dreaming about
everything.
It was like falling in love all over again. He'd put his heart, his
soul, and his life in her hands. He trusted her NOT to stomp all over
it. But she did. And even in her great scheme of altruistic inanity
he doesn't see ANY reason why she chose to sleep with Ross! She
couldn't have done it just to prove to him she didn't want to be with
him. Why the HELL did she do it? He needs answers. He needs to
understand her motivation and above all he needs to know there are NO
residual feelings for Ross. He can't live
with that.

YES HE CAN! He hits the steering wheel so hard he half expects the
airbags
to come crashing over him.

He has about a half hour to go. He damn well better reconcile his
feelings on the
subject before he sees Lindsay. Ross's involvement with Lindsay isn't
going to stop him.
Ross seemed to have given up on securing Lindsay's love, otherwise
he'd never
been in that court room encouraging Bobby, to believe in his wife's
loyalty.
He knows he has to stop these insane waves of jealousy whenever he
thinks of Ross.
He knows Ross loves Lindsay, ironically he understands Ross too well.
He knows
what it feels like to think its unrequited love, he knows what its
like to have tasted it
and lose instantly it without warning. He also knows that he would
fight to the
death to win it back. Ross didn't seem to be in a fighting mood? Why
has
he given up so easily, Bobby's thrilled he has, but is it really
because Lindsay never
loved him and he knew it?

He read everything Ross wrote, not on one page were there references
to Lindsay's
conflicted feelings for Ross. And if there ever were feelings on her
part his treachery in writing an unauthorized account of Lindsay's
and Bobby's life must have put an abrupt end to it. She loves him.
She married HIM. She gave up their life for HIM!

But that ONE tape the tape he can't seem to vanquish from his mind is
the
thing that has him still reeling. She made love to Ross, she wanted
him, to
help her forget him. He heard her voice. He heard the desperation in
her
pleas. He heard way more than he ever bargained for. Why? Why had she
done it if she loved him the way he knows now, she still does? They'd
made
love after the whole sordid revelation about Ross. He remembers her
eyes beckoning
his, her lips locking with his, and her arms embracing him hungrily.
He didn't
imagine any of it, no matter what she said in the morning. She loves
him
he knows it, in his soul.

He keeps the little litany going in his head. She LOVES ME! Claire
said it.
Hell Ross even said it today! Why do I doubt it? How can I after
everything
she's done to screw things up for us! He tilts his head fondly
recalling that this
is NOT new behavior and she always had his best interests at heart.
Of course
as soon as he has the generous thoughts of her, the undermining ones
snaked in too.
`She SLEPT with another man, out of the blue, when she was supposed
to be
coming back to YOU! NO! NO! STOP IT!' He can almost hear Dr.
Ash saying `Bobby you've got to get a grip on this now' He talks to
himself out
loud "I have to change the damn tape in my head once and for all! Or
we won't make it back to each other ever!"

He prefers never to think of it again, if that's possible. She'd had
an involvement. NOT an affair. And involvement is the most generous
word he will bestow on it. For him it has to be as though it never
happened. He has to believe NONE of it ever would have if they had
just communicated the way they'd promised to.
Her sleeping with Ross isn't going to prevent him from spending his
life with her. He knows what it's like not to think clearly and make
a mistake you can't ever undo, he'd found that out with Sara. And
he regretted more than anything he's ever done in his life. And there
were plenty of other things to regret. He isn't about to give himself
another REGRET. Losing Lindsay is NOT an option. He wouldn't be
able to live with himself, if he allowed it to happen. No! He won't!


There is no issue they can't overcome, and he's not about to let his
pride get in the way of his own happiness. It doesn't matter now. All
that matters is getting his life back on track and for him that means
being with his wife and his son.

He notices the lightning and rain showers scattered in the distance.
He knows how much Lindsay hated being in thunderstorms.
He remembers holding her soaked body next to his when they were caught
in one outside the courthouse. He loved that day because they were
barely
even speaking when they accidentally met one another, and they
ended up spending the whole drenched evening together. It was magical
then and it will be again. He hopes she hasn't gotten scared being in
the
house alone. He wonders if she'll run into his arms when he walks in
the
door hardly thinking of anything but the fear that propels her. He
sighs as
he pictures the scene until his mind envisions her jumping back out
of his
embrace quickly after forgetting for only a moment she isn't supposed
to fall
there anymore. But she is! That is exactly where he wants her to be!


His mind has another twenty minutes to occupy and he's so keyed up
and nervous all at the same time. So he rewinds the last scene
replaying
it with new and more comical results. He sees it as an old black and
white
old movie rerun without sound the over mellow-dramatic music playing.
Sub titles flashing in bold white letters to fill in the audience
blanks.
He pictures Lindsay as a damsel tied to the train tracks with him
rushing in on a white horse to the rescue. She slaps him as soon as
she is rescued and walks off into the sunset with Ross. No that's not
how its
supposed to go? He shirks that picture out of his mind trying a new
possibility.

Now its some kind of high speed chase like in a Key Stone
cops movie with him chasing her in fast-motion all over the cottage.
They run in and out of doors missing one another until finally he
sees Ross arrive at the front door proclaiming his love he sweeps
Lindsay off her feet, leaving Bobby shocked and heartbroken. Oh this
is going well.

This is what he gets for going to those old movie festivals when he
was in college.

He tries to update the movie selection, preferring a talkie picture.
He lets his mind choose out of its library of subconscious thoughts.
Romeo and Juliet? Where did that come from? They both end
up dead! NO THANKS!

Maybe he should leave the fantasies and focus on something
a little closer to reality.
.
With them it was pretty predictable. First the heart stopping moments
of seeing one another after so much miscommunication and
discombobulating.
After that follows the harsh cross, yelling accusations also normal
for them,
proceeded by quiet hurt silences, punctuated by more screaming,
someone crying,
usually him. He laughs at the image of his joke. And finally,
blissfully,
some whispered words of apology and forgiveness and abracadabra
they are on the same wave length again. And with that wave length
comes
amazingly, passionate heavenly lovemaking. Ten minutes to go. He
smiles and grips the steering wheel tighter trying to calm his
anxious, but happy nerves.
He sees a sprinkle of rain hitting his windshield and turns on the
wipers
for a clearer view as he approaches the one mile marker from
his and Lindsay's cottage.

Only a few more minutes to go, he's got to calm down inside he reaches
for the power knob on the CD player, turning the jazzy trumpet music
up loud
enough to drown out his meandering thoughts
&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay managed to find an almost comfortable way of standing still
for what seemed now like days! She's a sitting duck
for the lightening she dreads is coming. But hey a part of her is
in the house she thinks wryly; her ankle counts doesn't it? She feels
some pain
in her ankle but she thinks it may be sprained not broken. All this
fun for some
damned rings! NO! Not some damn rings, her rings the rings Bobby chose
for her, and only her. She let them go, she let him go! The
the tears she cried earlier had stained her cheeks pulling her mascara
along with them leaving a black smudgy trail. She can only imagine
what she must look like! She isn't relishing seeing her reflection in
a mirror
except for if she had one that would mean she'd be inside and NONE of
this would
be happening.

Her mind drifts to another rainy day in a universe not so long ago.
When she had been at odds with Bobby and she was doing everything
she could to avoid him. So of course fate stepped in and as she took
a step onto the courthouse elevator who appears? He took her breath
away that night as he always did. They'd made a disastrous run
for it, trying to make it to her car, they'd argued they'd yelled
she'd cried and at last she ended up in his arms taking her shelter
where she found the most security. Her heel broke as they
were running through the storm and he carried her to safety. She
remembers
how it felt then all that sexual attraction and tension you feel when
you know
you're in love and you have barely admitted to yourself let alone the
happy
benefactor. She remembers the chill of the rain combined with
electrifying lightening
charged even more by their combustible pairing. They'd been unable to
resist or deny
it. The kisses they shared were jolting and unforgettable. She
remembers the care package she'd received the next day. He called it
a survival kit for future storms, complete with his childhood bear.
She'd since passed him on to Bobby Jr.
She'd loved everything he thought of, but all she ever needed to
survive anything was HIM. She smiles sadly longing for those first
delectable days again.

She can't keep doing this! She shakes herself mentally knowing
her thoughts need to be directed on her current predicament. This
one holds no hope of her Prince coming to the rescue. She'd gladly
welcome this storm if only it did.

At least it was still summer, imagine getting caught out here like
this
in cold weather. The scattered raindrops that fell so far were
warm, the roof was at least cooled by the water, before it had been
hot and sticky, NOT that she was comfortable by any means. She is
damp she is hungry, she is hurt,
she is a complete mess! The only thing that would help now
is if someone… anyone… Claire where are your visions? Can't you hear
me calling out to you? Please someone come! She buries
her head under her hands to try to shield herself from the
latest much louder clap of thunder and its NOT even that
close yet. "Lindsay Dole succumbs to fear of lightning!" She tries to
joke feebly failing at cracking even a slight smile as she faces her
all too possible ending!

"Lindsay LOOK at the bright side, with your foot stuck you can't
fall off the roof!" Yeah she decides nodding her head. "That's
about it for the bright side." She gazes off in the direction of
Sam and Claire's house praying someone will get her mental
pleas of help. She could swear she sees some aunt-like vehicle making
its way towards her friend's home. But to her surprise the image
doesn't
stop it passes their house and is headed directly for hers. "THANK
GOD!"
But what if they are heading further up into the mountains and they
don't see her?
What if she can't get there attention and they just drive by?

She starts waving her arms and screaming her head off hoping to God
they hear something out of the ordinary and stop. But she realizes the
thunderous claps are getting closer and the daylight a little dimmer
and the
chances of being rescued are slimmer than she wants to imagine.

The car is now appearing full size and approaching the driveway. She
takes on long breath and screams at the top of her
lungs "HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She
waves her arms and gestures frantically unsure if she can be seen
because of chimney and angle she is standing at. The car
to her joy stops right in front of the house.

Maybe Sam or Claire got a new one? She's never seen it before
she can only make out that it's a deep blue minivan, the windows are
tinted so with the fading light she can't be sure if there is more
than one person inside it. There
has to be a driver she assures her overwrought mind that she is NOT
hallucinating.
It has to be SOMEONE!

Ok so she here she is standing like an idiot sideways on a roof with
her foot stuck
and her life hanging in the balance. DOES she care who it is!
Well aside from a serial killer she'll take anyone's help at this
point in time. She cranes her neck and tries to stand taller but with
one foot down-there-somewhere she can't quite accomplish that
feat. She holds her breath waiting for the occupant/s to get
out of the car. Who ever it is must have heard her? But if so
why in the hell aren't they out of the car. What if they
just lost their direction and stopped for a moment to read
a map or something? Maybe they didn't hear her at all. She
doubts they could see her as the drove up. She screams again shrilly
and
loudly.
&&&&&&&&
Bobby sits there for a moment with the car running in the driveway.
He needs a moment
to compose his thoughts and to conquer his fears. He sounded a lot
more confident when he was talking to Claire than he actually feels
inside. So much has happened. And so fast, he needs the time to let
it all sink in. The soft sexy melody playing helps to ignite that
over-active imagination once again.

He wonders where she is, will she be in the living room, and will
he see her as he walks through the door, or in the kitchen preparing
dinner, or upstairs taking a nap. What will it feel like to see her
again, now that he knows. He can't just sit here all night! The storm
is getting close and he'd better get in there in case Lindsay is
dealing with those old fears again. He wonders if she still has
the bear he gave her for that? He smiles when he thinks of how
little-girl-like she gets over that silly bear. Awe that's right she
gave it to Bobby Jr. She would never let Bobby Jr. know she
was afraid of the storms because it would only add to the child's
insecurity. She is the best Mom in the world. He loves watching
her with their son. And now he's about to make sure he
will be able to do that again, twenty-four seven till eternity.

He suddenly has no desire to put it off any longer. Seize the day
or better yet the woman. He reaches for the key with his right hand
while his left hand grasps the handle of the door.
&&&&&&&
Lindsay gasps as she sees the car door open. Joy of JOY! She
hopes its Sam because Claire is pregnant and not likely
to be able to help get her inside right away, she'd have to
call for help, and well she just hopes its Sam.

She waits wide eyed ready to smile for the first time since
this already unfortunate day took a turn for the worst.
What she sees wipes the smile off her face and changes her
hopeful look to one of total despair.

"OH MY GOD! Bobby!" She whispers. Her
heart takes a flying leap as her eyes tear up. He's here. How
right that it's him! And how horribly wrong all at the same time!
She'd know that
image anywhere. His broad shoulders the way he stands… She takes
a deep gulping breath. She can't be unhappy to see him, because
seeing him always brings her a joy she has never known with anyone
else.
Her heart does that old flip flop thing she thought would go years
ago along with the passion. How wrong she'd been, she feels it
more strongly than ever. She can't imagine it ever waning now.

It's him. He's here, and she's stuck on this roof looking
so ridiculous. She wants to scream out to him a part of her
really does, but another part holds back. She can't! If she lets
him know where she is, he will come, and she will be lost and
at the same time truly found. She was NEVER supposed to be found!

She hears him walking up the steps and the loud clamor of the
screen door shutting hard. She takes a deep breath knowing it's only
a matter of time.
He'll probably go to the kitchen and the check out the rooms
downstairs first. Did Claire and Sam call him? How did he know?
Why is he here? GOD! I thought I was done saying goodbye to him!
She thinks logically, all the while her heart is doing a happy
jig denying she will ever truly bid him farewell.

She feels the rainfall escalate and she is quickly becoming soaked to
the skin
she can't let him know she's there. No matter what!. Thank God she
walked from
Claire's. Sam offered to check her car over for adequate fluid and
tire pressure and he promised to bring it to her first thing in the
morning. So if she stays here she knows Sam will come in the morning.
She can do it. What's one little night out in the rain? She
prefers not to consider one little night exposed to the thunder and
lightening.

But Bobby might stay here. She can't even imagine the torture of
knowing he is in the house all night and that she is right outside
the bedroom. Did he come out of the blue on his own, just to
be alone? If she wasn't so filled with conflicted emotion she'd see
that of course he will figure out she is here, the minute he sees
the broken wine glass scattered on the bedroom carpet, the half-
consumed
bottle of wine, and her cell phone on the dresser, he will know she's
here. But she isn't thinking with her usual logic at all she is only
feeling and wishing.

"LINDSAY!" His voice breaks her distressed confusion. So much
for the theory he came here to be by himself. She shakes her head
dismally. He's here because of her. How did he know where
she was? She knows Claire and Sam would never betray her
confidence.

She sees him entering the bedroom she can only see the top half
of him. But OHHHHHHHHHH what a half!

He knows she is there, the jig is up. There is no use pretending.
She sees him surveying the room as though it's a crime scene. He
picks up
the wine bottle looking through to see how much is left, he sees the
overnight bag she didn't even think of sitting by the door still
unpacked.

"Lindsay!" He calls out again and she can hear the concern in his
voice. "

"LINDSAY!" Please where are you! "He must have seen her cell phone by
now
Yes, he has it in his hand. She sees him pushing the buttons the
odd melodic beeps can be heard only faintly because for the moment
the storm
has abated. She watches seeing his upper torso disappear from
sight, and she knows he has found the broken crystal fragments along
with the wine stains. He stands again the phone clutched to his ear,
and by
the look on his face she knows he's quite agitated.

She can't make out the words he is speaking at all, but she
can almost guess what they are. He shuts the phone quickly surveying
the room once more.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME!" Bobby is scared to death
maybe she was cut by all this glass and she could be bleeding to
death somewhere! He runs into the adjoining bathroom.

She can't tell him. She should she knows she should, she's probably
only
putting off the inevitable because he probably called Claire and now
he
knows she's not with them. He knows her car was never was here. He
will know she is still here somewhere. But her throat closes just as
she is about to call out to him. She can't do it. She's going to ruin
everything.

She sees him run back out of the empty bathroom and exiting the
bedroom.
She can almost picture him taking the stairs two at a time.

She feels the vibration as the front door slams shut.

She sees him run out towards the van and she can here
him screaming her name looking around him frantically
trying to locate her.

"LINDSAY ANSWER ME ARE YOU HURT! MY GOD
LINDSAY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Did she try to
walk back to Sam's and Claire's bleeding and pass out somewhere?
He might have missed seeing her because his mind was so preoccupied.
The mere thought that he could have been so careless sends pain
coursing
through his whole body. NO! He's got to find her! What if she's here
though
and NOT on the road! He can't decide what to do first. He's looked
everywhere
inside so she must have headed for Claire's to get help! His hand
goes out to open
the minivan door when suddenly he hears a blissfully unsettling
scream.


She tries to wrench her foot free maybe if she does she can find a way
out of here without him finding her, she could sneak back to Sam's
and Claire's
grab her car and get away before he ever knows. As she gives her foot
one more force filled jerk she screams out in pain, unable to control
the nerve shattering reaction to her latest form of stupidity. That
little
getaway plan has one huge glitch now.

Bobby stops in his tracks. He heard her scream. "LINDSAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'M HERE! IT'S BOBBY! WHERE ARE YOU? LET ME HELP YOU!"

Lindsay hears the choked teary tone of Bobby's pleas and she can't
allow
him to be frightened about her one more second.

"BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yells out as loudly as she can
she can't let him think she's hurt or in danger. That would be too
cruel, and
she's already hurt him enough.

"Lindsay!" His voice rises in hopeful, but anxious concern.

"I'm up HERE! ON THE ROOF I'm OKAY!" Lindsay yells back feeling like
a complete and total idiot.

"What in the hell are you doing up there?" the relief turns to
agitated
anger instantly. He is unable to even see her.
He moves around tilting his head back walking backwards and trying
hard to figure out which direction to go.

"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO GET HIT BY LIGHTNING!" Lindsay
calls back so relieved to be able to joke about it. That might be
preferable to dealing
with Bobby ONE more time.

Bobby doesn't voice his thought that a lightning strike will
be mild compared to his wrath once he gets her in his arms. What the
hell is she thinking?
She could have been killed!

"LINDSAY KEEP TALKING I CAN'T SEE YOU!" Bobby instructs her.
"HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"JUST COME AND GET ME I'LL EXPLAIN LATER!" Lindsay
wonders why in the hell he's still outside. Why doesn't Bobby realize
that to get to her he'll need to come out the window too? She needs
to be INSIDE NOW!

"You're not in any danger of falling?" He asked making certain she is
safe.

"NO! But I'm ready to get back inside!" She assures him.

"And your fine, NOT cut, bleeding or anything?" Bobby asks
mysteriously.

"Yes, Bobby I told you I'm okay." She doesn't want to tell him about
her
foot yet he'll see for himself and this is embarrassing enough as it
is.

"YOU HAVE TO COME IN TO GET ME INSIDE! I don't
see our ladder anywhere I think Sam must have borrowed it again."
She'd
looked for it earlier, but quickly came to the realization even if
it was there, someone would have to be able to deliver it to her for
it to be of any use. "YOU HAVE TO GET ME FROM INSIDE!" Lindsay
directs him again fully expecting his immediate cooperation.

"NO!" Bobby yells back and at last he has found a view of her precious
but maddening head. He'd be worried but she's assured him she
is in no immediate danger. He'd been afraid his arrival might scare
her off, so this
is actually working out better than he ever expected.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?" Lindsay calls back unable to believe
the stubborn refusal in his voice.

"JUST WHAT I SAID! NO!" Bobby informs her folding both
arms on his chest.

"BOBBY! DON'T joke around with me! I need to get off this
DAMN ROOF NOW! Can't YOU hear the thunder, I can see
lightening heading this way too!" Lindsay voice isn't hiding her fear
too well.

For a split second Bobby nearly takes pity on her. But this situation
is almost too good to be true.
"You sat on the window ledge again didn't you, like I've told
YOU NOT TO DO A THOUSAND TIMES?" Bobby sounds like
a weary worn dad scolding a mischievous child. "And you didn't
shimmy the window open either did you?" Bobby's been through this
frustration with her before. He's often found Lindsay daydreaming on
the window
ledge and insisted she put a piece of wood in to hold the window
steady. He's warned her and warned her! He's even had her get
up momentarily so he can do the task for her. He swore to her many
times that there were
some parts of the old cottage that were haunted and that the bedroom
window was
definitely one!

"Bobby I can explain what happened but GET ME OFF THIS ROOF!"
She's NOT about to admit her error in judgment to him. She had to
retain some dignity here. As much as you can have when you're in her
ridiculous shoes or shoe as the case may be.

"NO, Sorry Lindsay! Bobby takes a look at his watch to emphasize his
point. "the worst of the storm is about half hour away and we have
about that much time `till dark and well I have a few questions I'd
like answers too, and uh…the way I see it I'm in a perfect position
to get them. Now, you, getting what it is you want? Not so much!" He
jokes with her as he always had delighting in a little sidebar
bantering along the way. "So, what will it be? Are you going to
answer my questions or are you enjoying the view too much?" Bobby
smiles wickedly it's good to have upper hand.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Lindsay's growl thunders
down over his head and if LOOKS could kill well her eyes
would be the kryptonite flattening her not so super man
into a pile of helpless putty. She smiles very satisfied with the
image of Bobby magically being turned into a moldable object, with
both her hands scooping him up eager and willing to do the job.

"NO I think I'm perfectly sane, no thanks to YOU!" Bobby shouts.
He's still just a little angry with her, okay more than a little. She
had
driven him just about crazy these last few weeks.

Lindsay still won't give in and tell him that she has one foot stuck
in
the house because well he's already making this already totally
humiliating experience worse as ONLY Bobby knows how to do.

"GET ME DOWN BOBBY DONNELL OR I'LL!"

"YOU'LL what? Bobby chuckles "I don't think you're in any
position to make threats. "Unless of course you're planning
to take the short way down and land on me?"

"DON'T TEMPT ME!" Lindsay calls back.

"ARE you ready to cry UNCLE yet? I bet it's YOUR finger that's
feeling a bit
twisted now isn't it MS. DOLE!" He can't resist calling her that just
as
he had in those first days. And the finger twisting altercations he'd
repeatedly
lost to her, were about to be made up to him in ONE major twist.
"Cry Uncle" He shouts smiling a little more as his shirt is becoming
thoroughly
spattered with raindrops. He'd whined at her all the time that one
of his
poor fingers remains crooked to this day from her over-twisting
machinations.

"It's not my finger you moron it's my foot!" Lindsay grumbles under
her breath. She's ready to wring his twisted neck! She forgets
she is not exactly at the best advantage to be name calling.
"Bobby you're acting like an ass! GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"
Lindsay orders as if she's still wearing the pants in the family.

"We need to talk! I have questions Lindsay!" Bobby calmly
replies tearing the pants right off her.

A huge clap of rolling thunder drowns out Bobby's insufferable
laughter.

A tear slips down Lindsay's cheek. "OKAY OKAY ask your
damn questions so I can get the HELL OFF THIS ROOF
AND GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!" she screams wondering
how much longer their voices will last.

"GOOD I thought you'd see things my way."

"Bobby just come rescue me I promise I'll answer anything you ask
just please!" Her voice ends on a gulping sob.

"Lindsay are you crying?" Bobby's pleasure quickly vanishes
as he hears the mournful plea of her voice. He finally senses
she is hurt after all. Something is wrong. Of course it is you
dummy why would she be on a roof in a storm?

"Lindsay are YOU hurt tell me the truth!" He should have known
better, Lindsay has always put on a brave front even when she
was in labor with her son she called it stupid back pain. He'd
listened
to her then dismissing it as easily as she had, only to find out it
was a tad more when their
son was born on a courtroom floor. His stomach is twisting in knots
as he realizes he could have been wasting precious time to help her.
Damn it why didn't she say so in the first place?

"Yes- maybe-a little- Bobby please-."

Bobby's already halfway up the stairs by the time Lindsay answers.

He runs into their bedroom realizing what he should have figured
out before. That damn window! It had fallen and locked her
outside!

Lindsay watches him run into the bedroom again heading
immediately for the window. She knows he knows that the
window has a mind of its own and he's warned her it's NOT
a safe place to perch that's why the plans were made to put
in French doors and a balcony.

She watches scrunching her face a little half hoping it won't open
because if it betrays her and slides open easily she will be looking
even MORE foolish than she already does.
He shoves at it with all his strength but NO luck. Good she is
relieved
No further feelings of mortification necessary. Of course that means
it won't be
a quick rescue. She strains her neck to survey the progress of the
storm.
The ominous descending grey clouds change her perspective
immediately.
Maybe she wishes the stupid window had opened after all.

Bobby gives up the struggle straining his eyes to pinpoint her
location, the
storm has cast an unusually early dusk. "Lindsay keep talking to me,
where are you out there?"

"I'm in front of you down a ways I can see you!" She calls back. She
knows
what a miracle his being here is. HE came. He always
comes. In every major crisis she's ever had, and there have
been many since she met him, he's been there for her.
She loves that here he is once again. But as happy as it makes
her on one level it devastates her on another.

Now what does she do, hurt him some more. Does she
accept his help and then show him the door again? How can she
keep doing that? The only thing she really wants is to welcome him
home
with open arms.

The storm is definitely worsening. A deafening crash of thunder
drowns out
what ever Bobby is calling to her.

"Bobby I can't hear YOU!" She screams in between the booming
noises.

"STAY PUT!" HE yells back trying to figure out what the best
way to get to his wife is.

"I can't really do anything else!" She assures him as loudly as
she can.

Bobby goes to the closest room with a larger sized window which
unfortunately is on the opposite side of the house. He tries the
window there but it must have swelled
in the humid summer storm. He can't get it to budge either. He runs
downstairs to the
utility area finding a nice heavy crow bar. If he has to break the
damn thing
to get to his wife to safety he will, gladly. He inserts the bar
under the window sash and
using his foot against the ledge for leverage and his anxious
adrenaline he
is able to get the window to open a sliver, he reinserts the bar again
and this time he is able to pry the whole thing free. He grabs the
emergency flashlight
they keep under all the beds for power outages. Lindsay made sure
they were always prepared for the dreaded summer squalls. He grabs up
the crowbar too
because he has no idea if he needs it or not. At least it might help
keep them
attached on the roof as they make there way back. As he steps out to
the roof his heart skips a beat because in seconds he will see her up
close and personally. He swallows the lump in his throat and proceeds
carefully to her end of the roof. His sight
is blurred by increasing wind and rain but he trudges on determined
to get his Lady to safety.

"Bobby is that you?" Lindsay asks strangely oblivious to
how ridiculous a question that is.

"Yeah it's me." He's so worried he misses the golden opportunity to
tease her.

"Good." Lindsay says humbly only too willing to take his help.

"Where are you hurt?" Bobby asks wanting to know the extent of her
injuries.

"Uh… I'm not hurt really- it I-" Lindsay sputters wanting to avoid
the embarrassing
admission.

"Lindsay for God's sakes TELL me if you're hurt, I'm almost there."
Bobby assures her
inching his way carefully around the precarious tiles.

"I …MY FOOT IS CAUGHT in-" She cringes as she admits the depth of
her predicament. "It went through some rotten tiles!" She confesses.

"You're not bleeding or anything?" He asks again fearfully. Oh God
why had
he made her wait! He knows what a stubborn mule she can be!

"NO! I don't think so. Nothing's broken that I know of, but I lost my
shoe."

"You and YOUR shoes!" She can hear Bobby laughing with relief. Of
course his jovial reaction only serves to incite that already edgy
mood she's in.

"I'm so glad YOU find this funny!"

He can picture her expression before he even sees her he knows from
her tone
that its got to be the one where she folds both arms stubbornly while
she taps
one foot impatiently.
Of course that might be impossible with only one foot available.

"Well you've got to admit Lindsay you do know how to put your foot in
it now don't
you!" Bobby teases realizing she is not in dire need of help if she
can take the
time to scold him. Yes it's beginning to rain a little harder, and
yes the thunder is closer, but he does still have the home team
advantage, she needs him so she has to be
civil no matter what he says, and she knows it!

He hears her frustrated growl. And for the life of him he can't stop
another
full throated chuckle. "Oh come on now Lindsay surely you can see the
humor in this?" Bobby's tone is much less concerned than before and
that does NOTHING to calm
Lindsay's frazzled nerves.

"Are you coming? You're going to get me off the roof right?"
Something in Bobby's casual tone is NOT very reassuring.

"Oh Yeah eventually." He answers lazily as if oblivious to her
peril.

"Why aren't you coming?" She asks impatiently.

"Because there are a few things I'd like to know before I get there
Lindsay." The familiar aggravating voice echoes out of the descending
darkness.

"LIKE WHAT?" She is getting wetter and more uncomfortable by the
minute.
"This is NO time to play twenty questions Bobby what is it with you
LAWYERS!"

"You're a lawyer too!" Bobby reminds her snottily

"But I'm NOT the one asking questions out here in a thunderstorm
when MY WIFE HAS HER FOOT CAUGHT IN A ROOF AND IS ABOUT READY TO
SCREAM!"

"Lindsay you are screaming." Bobby calmly replies. He loves that she
referred to him in a round-about way as her husband.

"THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I'm GOING TO DO WHEN I
GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

"Ah promises, promises!" Bobby responds.

"Bobby Donnell what is it going to take to get me off this roof!"

He smiles as he envisions a delectable version of what it would
take for him to always let her have her way. He sees her in the peach
gown
beckoning to him with her smoky blue eyes one silky strap falling
off her shoulder- He suddenly brings himself back to the moment at
hand as his foot slips a little on a roof tile. The last thing he
needs to do is make another hole in the roof. because he fully
intends to rescue his damsel in distress. He inches closer towards
her
knowing he's not giving up on that enticing fantasy he just had
either.

"Answer the questions!" He orders stubbornly. He's getting
a little soaked too, but he remembers what it feels like to
be wearing wet clothes and becoming suctioned to Lindsay when she's
soft, wet and pliable. It was never what he would call an unpleasant
experience.

"FINE!" Lindsay crosses her already cross arms.

Bobby magically appears like a long awaited vision. Hearing his voice
had
calmed her internally. But seeing him affects her in a whole
different way. The flashlight provides enough luminosity to see his
face, and looking into his eyes she knows she will always have these
silly butterflies at the mere sight of him. It takes her breath away.
And the instant relief she feels at actually having him within arms
reach sends a hot/cold shiver up her back.

They stand there just staring in that way they always had, whenever
things
weren't quite right between them. It only took a look to calm the
waters at
least for the moment. It happened that way every time.
Their longing eyes cutting through the shadows seeing deep into one
another's souls.
That was the look they shared now. It was like the day in the office
when
Lindsay told him she missed him, and she missed being held by him.
They were two star-crossed lovers unable to speak words of devotion.
But they could always see it, in those gazing fiery exchanges that
filled the distance between them closing it and extinguishing it
completely. A mere glance was all it ever took. The room could be
crowded with strangers but their eyes would seek mutual sustenance. A
small secret shared smile played across the distance and wordlessly
they'd make their way towards one another. That spark was still very
much alive and cracking more loudly than the storm.

Bobby returns to reality when he hears the nearing thunder and
registers the menacing streak of jagged lightning crisscrossing the
sky. It's a little too close for comfort.

He kneels down carefully, quickly assessing the trapped foot with the
flashlight. She feels
his hand touching the tip of one of her toes and the familiar goose
bump
verifications of his touch send zigzagging chills up her back. He
works
wordlessly straining to move something back from around her ankle
using the
crow bar to aide his work. Finally he stands up the flashing
lightening illuminates his wet drizzly face.

Lindsay's heart feels as though it's been the rope in a tug-of-war.
He holds out his arms ready to steady her as he orders her to pull
her once captive limb free. She tugs gently afraid to incite further
pain, and her foot magically releases itself from the hole. She
wasn't expecting such instantaneous emancipation. The sudden result
throws her off balance capitulating her directly into his waiting
arms.

He holds on tightly to steady her, the electricity that ignites at
the smallest touch brings
a lump to Bobby's throat, he swallow hard, trying to control his
reaction to her proximity Caressing her in any form always reduced
him into some kind of helpless besotted idiot.
This time was even worse than usual because he hadn't been sure even
a day ago
he would ever get to hold her again. They stand that way for several
seconds
taking shelter the deafening crackling thunder surrounding them.

She closes her eyes settling her head against his chest. The feel of
his
body against her feels so right and so perfect, this is what she
longed for
this is all she ever needs.

Bobby leans his cheek against her beloved drenched hair, and he
wishes there
was a way to bypass everything else, but this, all that he wants is
in his arms.
He wants to go on holding her forever.

As the weathers wrath subsides for a moment she realizes she isn't
where she
needs to be at all. This will NOT help her accomplish anything! The
rate she's going they won't make it into the house before they've
torn one another's clothing off.

She quickly and reluctantly separates her body from his. She tries to
put some
weight on the once imprisoned leg. It's not as bad as she thought it
would be,
it didn't feel sprained; after all it must have been awkward angle
and being held
still for so long, it feels numb; it probably went to sleep when
it had nothing better to do.

"Is it okay?" Bobby asks ready to snatch her back into his arms if
necessary.
He's a little sad she didn't stay there. But a part of him is still
angry with her
because she'd been foolish and careless with her life and by doing so
endangered his as well! And his thinking has NOTHING to do with the
roof, or the damn storm.

"Yeah, not even sprained after all." Lindsay admits embarrassed again
by this silly situation.

"Hmmmmmmmp!" Bobby grumbles as his more irate side wins over his
zealous heart.

He grabs her hand roughly guiding her as the ascend to a higher spot
on the roof
an areas offering a little more protection near their bedroom
window. The light shining from inside the room makes it easier to see
one another, but not easier to face one another. Bobby drops her hand
as if the forced contact has burned his.

They have a little stare down again now as each one sizes up the
situation.
Lindsay can tell she won't be winning this round by the angry spark
in Bobby's eyes. "WHAT!" Lindsay gruff voice belies her happiness
at being anywhere with him again, even if it is on this damn roof! The
flashlight glow combined with the intermittent lightning angry face
appear a little more intimidating than usual.

"WHAT! What in the HELL were you thinking running away like this?"
Bobby is letting the livid side of him take over. Never mind they
are on a roof in the near dark during a thunderstorm that has
surprisingly
taken a quiet turn which is nice because now he doesn't have
to keep shouting, his voice is already raspy from the yelling he did
on the ground. "You ran away again Lindsay!"

"I didn't run away, I just needed to GET away for a few days."
Lindsay explains her own voice getting prickly. She wanted comfort
NOT interrogation. What is he thinking keeping her out here like this!

"LIAR!" Comes back his clipped response.

"I'm NOT lying! Please Bobby get me inside!
I've been out here for hours!" Lindsay's voice holds an uncertain
wobbly
desperation but Bobby isn't giving in that easily. He longs
to shorten the fighting time and get to the all important
pleasurably passionate conclusion.

Lindsay doesn't want to admit the catastrophe her get away has turned
into.

"Lindsay You were running away again! Damn it! ADMIT IT!"

"I'm entitled to go on vacation just like anyone else!" Lindsay
arms unfold then refold in stubborn defiance.

"Yeah and you take OUR son without ONE word to me!" Bobby
snipes back.

"He was only coming this far with me." She explains realizing too
late this only reinforced his theory of her running which of course
is correct
but he doesn't need to know it. "You were supposed to come and get
him." She stops.

"Yeah! Thanks for LETTING me know! You were running from ME! DON'T
lie to me!"

"Okay Bobby if I agree I was on the run will you kindly get your
very charming butt in gear and get me INSIDE!" Lindsay is at
the end of her nerves. This is all too much!

"YES if you admit it I'll get you inside." He promises softening a
little.

"Okay! FINE! You want answers. Be careful what you ask for!
You won't ever believe that I don't want to be with you
anymore no matter what I say, we keep on falling back into- so I
decided distance was a good idea."

"Don't you know by now that distance is NEVER a good idea for us?"
Bobby asks croaking a little.

She expected his anger. She anticipated his being upset about Bobby
Jr.
But hearing him say "US" as though there still was one was her
undoing.

She wants to cry. Her nerves are raw and her heart is too. Seeing him
here, when she wished so hard that he would be, is surreal. Why does
this keep happening? Why
won't he just let her go? She's so torn in two over good intentions
and letting him go, and wanting him so much it made her teeth hurt!
Lindsay does what any wife would do in this situation she throws the
blame where it belongs squarely on HIS shoulders.

"You know Bobby YOU should have called to get this roof fixed ages
ago! And that blasted WINDOW too!" She puts one hand on her hip. If
anyone saw them now
they wouldn't believe it. They both look like something even a cat
wouldn't want to drag in. Lindsay's finger is pointing at him, her
face
is a charcoal smudged nightmare, her clothing is plastered to her body
and where it's not drenched the shirt looks almost comical with the
billowing air pockets combined with the suctioned transparency. Her
hair is beyond straggly and her voice is on its last legs after all
the yelling and screaming she's done. She's barely holding on to her
composure and so turning on him takes all the energy she has left. In
spite of her woeful condition she feels a little spark ignite inside
her. Arguing with Bobby
again is sheer paradise.

Bobby shakes his head almost fondly. His wife is scolding him
terribly and
as he hears the raspy accusations and he knows it's because she is not
about to cry. In any crisis when ever she wanted to cry she always
managed
to turn it into anger and accusations. Crying always came after that.
His heart smiles as he goes happily along with the longstanding
routine.

He knows the game he's played it often. "ME! Is your finger broken?
You'd could of called too! Why is it women always expect MEN to take
care of the repairs! You all say you want equality, but everything
that requires
some kind of tool, or ladder is the man's fault! You're as capable as
I am Lindsay!
Isn't that what you've drilled into me for years!"

"You're damned right I am!" Lindsay shouts back. Arguing is something
they do best. They've turned it to an art form over the years.

Bobby's heart feels lighter inside than it has in weeks. Maybe it was
the altitude but he knows it's more than likely the lovely company he
is finally
getting to keep. "Yeah I see that by how well you faired out here!"

"I did JUST fine without YOU! I don't need a man to-" Lindsay stops
lying to him and to herself, she very much needs this man. What
would she have done without him? She never wants to know. But
she already knows and now she has to deny the truth once again.

Bobby senses she is near the crying stage so he gives her a moment
to realize it. Then he launches the next not so vehement attack.

"Are YOU ever going to tell me how YOU ended up out here in the first
place?"
He says it almost jokingly all the while his fingers have made there
way
to her face traveling delightedly up her cheek "My little fickle-
feathered trouble-maker." His tone is soft and tender now and even
with his recrimination she hears the love oozing through.

"I'm not feathered." Her soft protesting murmur causes him to smile
indulgently.

"Awe but you are, according to Sam." Bobby replies softly.

She can't take any of this anymore, she isn't strong
enough to keep up the fight. Bobby's being so incredibly sweet and
she'd been more frightened than she realized up on this damned perch
all alone! And now to have his
hard strong body to lean on, when she thought she'd never experience
this kind of security again was too much. His hands are patting
her back making ready for the usual flood gates to open.

All she can do is bury her face against him and sob her
heart out. "It's okay baby, Awe Lindsay don't cry, you know how
much I hate it when you cry!" Bobby croons softly to her.
Rain is pouring down again beating against his back, and all he wants
to do is shield her from the pelting tirade. He smiles gently holding
her hungrily. His
fingers are curling around her body eager to partake of her softness.
It's all right Lindsay we'll get you inside baby- I'm here, you don't
have to cry."

"Yes I do…" She sobs and gulps and hiccups all at the same time.

"Why?" His soft whisper asks her hoping she will make a full
confession. She
certainly isn't acting as though she doesn't want him here.

"I don't know!" He can feel her body shudder a little as she refuses
to tell him.
He knows she needs to feel the comfort of the great indoors before she
will even be close to telling him what he longs to hear.

He gently puts one arm around her shoulders as he directs the
flashlight straight
ahead. They start to take a few steps towards their destination of
warmth and shelter.

"I can't!" She remembers suddenly what brought her out here in the
first place. She pulls him back refusing to be urged on. Her rings!
She can't just leave them behind now? What does she do? If she tells
him what she came out here after, he'll know why. Any chance of
continuing the subterfuge after revealing that will be useless. She
can't tell him anything about the rings ever. Besides she not going
to ask
him to risk his neck in the middle of a storm. He's already done that
just to rescue
her.

"I lost something out here, that's why I-I was trying to get it
back." Lindsay
tries to shrug it off as unimportant now.

"What did you lose?" Bobby asks feeling a little impatient. He
imagines
it was the cork to the wine or some other stupid thing she could very
well have gone without. The idea of her risking her neck for something
so insignificant stymies him

"It's – I-. never mind it doesn't matter." She finishes lamely her
voice saddened
as she realizes she may never recover them after the storm.

"Okay let's get inside. The weathers going to be getting a LOT worse
before it ends." Bobby promises her, knowing that this prediction
holds
true for them as well.

"Please." Lindsay agrees limping a little on the not too happy foot.

"You have to hold on to me, and follow my lead we'll have to
go around the way I came, from the guest room, its going to be easy,
don't worry
I've got you, we'll take it slow. Just HOLD ON!"

"Bobby"

"Yes?

"Do you think you could come up with ANY other words in crisis
situations
besides those!" Lindsay asked sarcastically.

"Not good huh?" Bobby returns amicably.

"NO! They're right up there with "HERE WE GO" and "Listen to
YOURSELF!"

Bobby sees the humor because he knows her so well. "Hang On" would
that be a better choice for roofs?"
He asks thoroughly amused as they make there way to safety and warmth.
The bantering helps to take there minds off the escalating storm and
the
steep danger of their shared journey.

"Hardly!" Lindsay snaps, and he can almost see her eyes rolling.

At last they've made it safely up to the guest room window the place
of Bobby's original departure. His arms scoop her up for a moment
helping her descend through the
open window. The floor is wet from the rains unbarred entrance.
Lindsay feels her one-stocking foot squishing into the carpet. She is
trembling but only for a moment because Bobby's hands have draped a
blanket around her shoulders and his fingers clasp
the ends together holding her in a little haven against his chest.

"We need to get you into a hot bath right away!" Bobby informs her
paying no heed to her protests.

"Bobby are you kidding! You want to put me in water during a
lightning storm? I don't
think so!"

"Lindsay nothings going to happen to you, you need to…" Bobby's eyes
take in her bedraggled appearance but all he sees is the utter beauty
that
has always taken his breath away. His eyes gaze into hers and for a
moment
any estrangement disappears. His mouth opens slightly as he searches
for a word any word- but as always when this happens he becomes
speechless and weak kneed. His soaked hair is dribbling down his
cheeks and his eyes glow sparking like awakened embers into hers.

He doesn't wait for her permission he doesn't dare ask. She opens
her mouth to speak, but no words come. It's only the two of them
now together in the vast universe, there is no time no space, no
dampness, no thunder or lightning or rain. They've drowned it out
with a communal silence that is deafening. Bobby's right hand rises
slowly as if to somehow hold this moment. His fingers play
along Lindsay temple as his head bends down slightly, Lindsay
looks up into his eyes her heart is pounding hard against his, their
conjoined primitive pulsations play off one another, as though
sounding out some ancient ritual mating dance. She moans softly as
his lips braise hers tenderly at first then more arduously as he
feels her ardent response. Her arms encircle his shoulders joyfully.
His fingers cup her neck
pressing her face closer to his. His right hand pushes the wet
dangling hair away from her eyes as he takes leave of her lips to
kiss each precious lid. Moving down her face
scattering light kisses until his lips crush hers hungrily. Lindsay
hands grasp the hair
at the nap of his neck as she returns his impassioned yearning.

A hair-raising clap of thunder jolts Lindsay out of the sweet
embrace. She jumps
back as if she has been scorched all the way to her bones. Her hand
goes to her abandoning lips as if to take his kiss back. She feels
the chilling
blast of cold air as she loses the cocoon of his arms. She has to
pretend
it was all HIM he's the one who kissed her! And that nothing has
changed.

"Linds…" Bobby hates that she is no longer in his arms. He hates the
look
he sees on her face as if she's done something wrong! It was NEVER
wrong.
And most of all he hates that she is swiping away any trace of him.

"Hey… we can't…." Lindsay is at a loss for words because she wants to
turn back time so damn much.

"I…." Bobby isn't sure where to go from here. Here being nowhere.

"What about you, you're just as wet and Bobby you tore your shirt!"
Lindsay
scrambles to return to normalcy picking up conversation as if nothing
else
has transpired between. She can't help but notice his bronze
tantalizing skin peaking through the jagged drenched fabric. She
wishes she could tear it off him and have
her way with him. She knows how wonderful it is to run her fingers
over his muscle laden body.

"I'll be fine…" Bobby knows she isn't ready he can see the fear
dancing in her eyes. He doesn't want her running away anymore, not
mentally and sure as hell not physically! But as he sees her
disheveled state more clearly his protective
husbandly side takes the lead. He decides to be a loving patient man,
and
hold that mindless, passion-driven besotted lover he wants to be, at
bay for at least a little while longer. He knows they have to talk.
But God that Kiss! How he's missed her!

There's another moment of awkward silence. Again they open their
mouths
and nothing comes. Bobby is afraid they might keep doing this all
night
so he breaks the barriers by being bossy and decisive as usual. He
knows
in some strange way she'll find comfort in that.

"Here at least let me help you, you need to freshen up." Bobby
ignores her obvious reluctance to his touch as he propels her gently
into the bathroom, she expects him to turn and leave but to her utter
torment he stays guiding her to sit. She keeps her eyes averted. She
can't trust herself after that spectacular kiss she's determined to
keep her eyes averted. she doesn't dare look into his blue
hypnotizing gaze! And why the hell isn't he leaving?

He pulls a towel off the rack gently hooding Lindsay's wet head with
it, rubbing
her scalp lightly to get the excess rainwater from her hair. She
breaths again
as she feels him remove the towel laying it on the side of the tub.
She is
reeling having his so close within tempting touching inches. She's
expecting that now he is done drying her hair he will leave her in
peace to finish repairing the storm damage.

But no, Bobby has other ideas as he takes a terry wash cloth rinsing
it thoroughly in water, he wrings it out until nothing is left
dripping
and to her sheer terror he kneels in front of her, looking deeply
into her eyes. Her lips scream to her longing to resume the kissing,
her
mind spins as she fights the urge to obey them. She swallows but
the tightness in her throat doesn't disappear.
She reaches her hand out expecting him to give her the wash cloth, and
once he does she fully intends to make an excuse for privacy.

He ignores the extended hand, preferring to finish what he's started.
All thoughts of making excuses fly away as Lindsay feels the side of
his palm resting tenderly against her cheek. He wordlessly begins to
wipe all the black smears and smudges from her face. She sits as
still as she can afraid if she moves it will only be incentive for
her to end the charade and fall helplessly into his arms.

The snapping thunder does nothing to calm her nerves The hand holding
the wash
cloth pauses its mission for a moment. This is worse. She feels his
eyes
staring, she can hear his heart beating he's so damn close!

She sits statue still as his left fingers gently brushes a few damp
tendrils that have
fallen over her eyes. Her throat is on fire with the effort NOT to
look into his eyes or react to anything he does.

Bobby right hand clutches the warm cloth reluctantly. He would love
to purify her
face with his touch, letting his fingers saunter over her silky skin
in a worshiping trail of reverence. But he knows she isn't ready. He
can see the tension in her shoulders, he can see the glittering
hesitation in her eyes. He knows she's been fighting with
herself all along. And now he wants to take the anguish away and
replace
it with truth and peace. So as he continues to lovingly wash off each
smudgy eyelid
he whispers softly to her. She has to know everything is going to be
fine now. He wants
to take all the fears away.

"I know Lindsay-I know everything." Bobby's eyes embrace hers
reassuringly.

Lindsay's mind can barely register the words because Bobby has
dropped the
cloth to the floor. The back of his fingers eagerly take its place
fondly stroking her cheek.
"It's going to be the way it's supposed to be now."


The light bulbs flicker slightly in response to the storm. Lindsay
been
in this situation with him before, and she knows what happens when
lights go out suddenly. She gets jumpy and when she jumps it's always
been right into his waiting arms. She can't! She can't afford to have
him
touch her this way. She can't keep denying his amorous advances. It's
always
been this way when he's this close sensibility takes flight and
coherent thoughts die a quick and painless death as she succumbs to
his every desire. She has to stop this NOW!

"Lindsay are you hearing me? I said I know!" Bobby wonders why she
hasn't
responded.

"You're right! I should get out of these wet clothes!" Lindsay says
determined not to
let this happen. She feels it happening she can't ask him what he
knows.
She doesn't want to know! And above all HE cannot touch her again! But
he is touching her! His fingers are fondling her neck now. Oh it
feels-so-she can't
move, as much as she wants to she feels as if she fallen under his
spell.
She is weakening by the second. "I have to get out of these wet
clothes!"
Her voice is trembling.

"Just sit still, I'm not finished." His tone is promisingly sexy.

"I can't!" I have to find something to wear! I'm really getting
cold!" Lindsay
lies through her teeth because in truth she's more like blown glass,
molten,
sizzling and ready to become the willing subject of the artist's
desires.

"Lindsay, you need-" Bobby feels her struggling emotions.

"I need!" Lindsay is horrified because she nearly says the
forbidden `You'
her heart is drumming madly as she begins to shake her head in furious
denial. "Clothes I need dry clothes!"

"You can't go into our bedroom… he pauses as he says the "our"
there's too much
broken glass everywhere and you could get cut."

"I need to find something to wear!" Lindsay insists.

"No. Not yet. We need to talk. Lindsay."

It takes everything in her logical mind to propel herself away from
his
touch away from the capitulation he is about to invoke. She jumps up
skittishly
nearly sending him sprawling across the tiled floor.

"I'm going to get out of these clothes!" She runs to the guest bedroom
closet desperate for the mechanical distraction of a mundane task.
Anything she can do
to take her mind off Bobby's enticingly close presence

Lindsay rushes into the guest bedroom hoping she's stopped Bobby
enough to get a good lead. She yanks the armoire open blindly. Her
mouth falls
open as she stares at the masculine clothing hanging in the wardrobe.
Great! EVERYTHING is BOBBYS! His extra clothing that didn't' fit into
their joint closet. They'd kept an extra wardrobe here just for
convenience, so they could take off at
a moments notice from Boston for those treasured but too few
weekend get-a-ways. He'd moaned and groaned about sacrificing all
his closet space for her. So it's her fault. Here they are, right
where she ordered him to put them. She has no choice but to wear
them. Someone must be having a good laugh about now. She figures it's
the same someone who sent the thunderstorm to taunt her, today of all
DAYS!

Bobby has managed to recover from her harried escape. He
walks slowly and purposefully towards the closet and his wife.

"Anything your size?" His voice is hardened because he is getting
really fed up with her skittish behavior. This is HIM for God's sakes
he's her husband what in the hell is she afraid of?

"I'm going borrow these." she grabs for an oversized pair of
of his black silk pajamas. Before he can even
get near her she's skedaddled back into the bathroom. The door slams
squarely in his face. He gives up throwing his hands to heaven then
sighing deeply as they fall heavily to his side. She won't be going
anywhere
in the storm and if she needs some time to sort out her emotions
he'll give it to her. But NOT for much longer!

"Lindsay I'm going to change too, I'll makes some tea, see if threes
something to eat, meet me downstairs…" Bobby orders.

Her faint but acquiescent answer assures him she will
be there in a little while.

Lindsay combs through the tangled hair as though she is sorting
through the mess she's made of everything in her life.
She ignores the scalp pain she's self-inflicting. He knows.
What does he know? Thanks to her many lies there are hundreds
of things he could know. She isn't sure. Maybe she read more into
his words than she should have, maybe he knows she lost her rings?
NO! How could he know that? He couldn't. And what in the HELL
will she do without them? What if they are blown away, off the roof
entirely, so far away that she'll never recover them? If she'd have
told him he would have gotten
them for her. But she just couldn't tell him. He would know instantly
that recovering her rings meant she still cared about what
they represented way too much! They would be a dead
give away. A revealing donation she couldn't afford to make.

She takes a good hard look at her pale and confused face, the mirrors
reflection only reminds her, he is waiting. He loves her to wear his
clothing. Bobby always pretended to be annoyed anytime she'd try to
secretly snatch a piece away
for herself. But he really enjoyed it. He delighted in relieving her
of the oversize garments because as he whispered so many times
disrobing her was one of his favorite sports.

She can't be his recreation anymore. Even being that now would be
better
than having nothing. She remembers when it hurt like hell to be
referred to as
his recreation. They'd come so far from that. She can't even believe
sometimes
they are the same two people. They've changed so much, in so many
ways,
why hadn't they just outgrown one another? Then it would have been
so much easier. But with them the bond was too strong the ties too
woven
and intertwined to ever be completely broken. But she HAD broken
them. She has
to remind herself that she had single-handedly taken a figurative
chain saw
to those ties and they no longer existed. Why the HELL didn't Bobby
react
the way she expected him too. She had done everything humanly possible
to alienate him forever. And where is he? HERE! He didn't seem to
get that he is supposed to HATE her by now. And on top of that he says
he knows!" She avoided acknowledging his words but she heard them
LOUD and Clear.

What else could the `he knows be' maybe he just said it because of
the kiss. Maybe he's telling her from that one electrifying moment
they
shared, that he knows she wants him as much as ever. She's never
wanted him more.

She touches her pouting lips, they are not happy with her for ending
that
oh-so-glorious kiss. She can't believe she allowed it to happen, and
she knows
Bobby when they share a kiss in times of separation he's always
harped on
it later, wanting to know why it happened and if it would, could or
should
be happening again. Her mind drifts back to the Pearson trial kiss,
that
moment neither of them anticipated but both of them sub-consciously
orchestrated. Neither of them said a word at the time, but weeks
later, he was doing his usual cross-examination of the possibility it
was more than a kiss. She has no doubt he will be repeating that
pattern downstairs. She takes a deep cleansing breath, letting it out
in a long sad blow.

Okay Lindsay get a grip. Go down there and let him know NOTHING
has changed. The kiss was just a knee jerk reaction to the storm. NO
matter what he thinks he knows, he knows nothing unless you tell
him! "And you're NOT going to!" She adds out loud straightening her
shoulders ready to get her mission accomplished
once again like a good, obedient soldier should.

She descends the stairs to find him stoking the fire dressed in black
jeans
and a blue denim shirt. His hair has dried a little but she can tell
he's been
running his fingers through it in frustration by its every-which-way-
style.
She sees the tray of tea and some cheese, crackers and grapes as he
promised sitting on the stone ledge in front of the fireplace. Oh God
give me strength she prays silently as she holds on tightly to the
banister.

"I have the tea…" Bobby feels uncertain. He was so sure of everything
he would say, but now, the time has come and he's almost tongue tied.
She makes quite a picture in his clothing! The oversize shirt gaps
open
in just the right places leaving little to his imagination, his eyes
survey
the lovely silken cleavage that he's memorized inch by inch with his
fingers and
lips. He senses her hesitation, "It's nice and warm here by the fire-"

She takes the last step down into the living room, only a few feet
separates them yet it feels as though ever closing the distance is
unattainable. "Tea sounds good." Lindsay wishes she could get as far
away as possible, that was the
plan, so much for planning. Here she is confined by both storms and
the one raging outside seems calm compared to the volatile skirmish
within her heart.

He hands her a cup, then takes a seat in one of the overstuffed
chairs.
She knows she can't avoid his questions any longer. She can't sit.
She feels as though she is about to be interrogated by a squad of
Scotland Yard cops and the way he is looking at her, she would prefer
them, to what she knows Bobby has in store.

She sips the tea for courage.

He lets her take another sip before his eyes bore into hers. He's
going
to get this out in the open once and for all. If he has to trick her
into
an admission so be it!

"You know what I said upstairs and I know you understood what I meant.
You can't escape this Lindsay so for God's sakes stop trying!"
He scoots to the edge of the chair unable to relax as he waits for
her answer. Nothing comes. Silence. Bobby exhales and launches his
attack.
"I KNOW. YOU KNOW. I KNOW!" Bobby is sure she will bristle over
his convoluted words, and he also knows the vagueness of them will
drive her crazy, hopefully crazy enough to divulge something!

"Bobby, I don't know ANYTHING!" Lindsay hates it when he insists
on talking in riddles trying to incite a reaction. He's always doing
that,
bluffing so she's not sure if he actually knows or he just wants to
trap her into telling him what she knows! Most of the time when he
does this he doesn't know ANYTHING at all! He's so infuriating! She
doesn't EVER want to know what
he thinks he knows! If he knows ANYTHING! She's tired, her nerves are
shot, and she's not feeling strong enough to deal with him right
now. "Don't keep doing this!" She
implores him suddenly feeling weary and ready to curl up into a ball
and sleep.
Sleep would be so good awe to escape into the world of dreams would
be bliss
right about now. In her dreams she could be with Bobby, whenever,
wherever
and however she wanted.

"Don't WHAT Lindsay! Don't put an end to this fiasco you created with
us!" Bobby's up on his feet pacing back and forth as he becomes
infiltrated
with the fear he's held ever since she told him they would never be
together again.

"I'VE created! Oh that's a GOOD ONE! What about YOU!" Lindsay
accuses back. She's not about to cave in. He wants to have this out.
He'll
get his wish. She's not even sure what she's accusing him of, she only
knows that he's not going to worm out the answers he's looking for.

"I'm not the ONE who pretended NOT to know about Hiller retiring! I
KNOW
Kittleson told you!" He presents his entire case daring her to deny
it.

Lindsay heart stops. Her back curls in defense. He can't have
figured it out! How? What now! He knows what she did and why? How
he did figure it out? There isn't another soul on earth that knows,
she
hasn't confided in ANYONE! Her mouth drops open as she questions
her actions and second guesses all her encounters with friends and
family.
NO. Not ONE soul knew the whole story. She'd made damn sure
it could never slip out from anyone's mouth by never putting it in
anyone
else's ears. She's completely stymied this was NEVER supposed to
happen!


Now how does she get out of this? What if he's here because he's
been rejected for the judges position and she's done all of this for
NOTHING! "You don't know ANYTHING Bobby!" Lindsay challenges his
ignorance knowing she is only buying time. And if she did this for
nothing then she HAS been a complete idiot! She's not about to make
this easy for Bobby no matter what! She's filibustered with the best
of them, namely
him and she can do it again!

"OH yes I do!"

"You've probably jumped to the NORMAL wrong conclusions you always
do!" Lindsay
says knowing she has a very weak case. "You don't know what you THINK
you know!"
She stabs back. "There's no way you could!"

I have my ways!" Bobby answers mysteriously. "Kittleson told YOU!
Don't you
dare lie to me about this Lindsay! I know that you found out about the
seat Hiller recommended me for, Kittleson did this in her own
uniquely twisted
way, and I knowing how she feels about you, and I, I can imagine what
she said! After
she got through with you, I know you decided to sacrifice yourself
for MY career!" Bobby spits out his knowledge daring her to say
otherwise and praying she will admit her duplicity. "Kittleson TOLD
you and that's what this is about!"


She hears the words, she hears him verbalizing it, and the stubborn
set
of her chin crumbles. The sound of his voice challenging her to deny
it,
penetrates her lofty fortress. She sees any thought of wiggling out
of this is useless.
"Well at least SOMEONE told me! Why didn't you?" Lindsay
accuses him just as angry with him as he is with her.

"Because Lindsay, it wasn't important damn IT!" Bobby growls.

"IT NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU BE A JUDGE!" Lindsay challenges
his lie with her eyes. "NOW who's lying!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Bobby glares at her. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHOSE
BEEN DISHONEST HERE! I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE
IT WAS LOW, EXTREMELY LOW ON MY LIST OF PRIORITES!"

"BULL!" Lindsay strides up to him bravely now, he isn't going to worm
his way out of this. "I was there Bobby, when you confided that dream
to me do you remember! You told me how it felt to be continuously
disrespected by
your peers, how you hated that judges looked down on you, so
disdainfully ALL THE TIME and how your reputation was always being
slung through the mud! I know what
it would mean to you to be in a place of stature-to finally be
treated the way you should be, the way you deserved to be!" She
shakes her head backing away a little
"DON'T tell me that's not important to you, I was there Bobby,
through it all
from the Isakov disaster to Judge Fleming, and I saw what it did to
you to be maligned
in court that way, so many times. You didn't deserve that kind of
judgment from anyone!
They didn't even KNOW YOU! I know you! I know how important it is for
you
to become a judge. YOU NEED it to make YOU finally realize who you
really are, who YOU'VE always been!"

Bobby listens because as always there is truth in what she says. But
it's not
the ONLY truth here. And one thing he is going to make sure of tonight
is that Lindsay believes the truth about his feelings. There is
NOTHING
more true in his life than her place in his heart.

"Lindsay-" Bobby tries to interrupt but Lindsay is on a non stoppable
roll.

"This is why, when I-" She lays her hands over her heart as if to
hold the pain
inside. "YOU KNEW the committee hated the idea of me
being a judge's wife, YOU knew that they would NEVER even
consider YOU for it! Why didn't you tell me! Were you so
ashamed of us… of ME…. that you didn't want to admit I was
the ONE thing that would hold you back!" Lindsay backs away more
turning from him so he wont see her eyes tear up at the very thought
that she would ever be an obstacle to his happiness. Bobby closes the
distance between them making
sure he is very much in her face.

"I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! I have a LOT of feelings about you but
believe this Lindsay when I say SHAME has NEVER been NOR will it ever
be ONE! If you know me as you say you do Lindsay then YOU KNOW THIS!"

Lindsay's has turned to face him again, his soft imploring words zing
her heart and she bites her lip trying to hold those tears again.

"Lindsay there's still a LOT I have to learn in this life. But this I
know!
You mean everything to me! You are MY life! Why don't YOU know it!"
Bobby's head shakes in resignation.

"I-" She wants to say `I do', she wants to fling her body against his
so
hard they stumble to the floor, laughing, teasing and kissing till
dawn.
But she can't give in she has to make him see that she is doing the
right thing
for all of them. She holds her hands in fists as she shoots her
fantasy to hell.

"The judges seat is one of prestige Bobby, you'd be recognized as an
upstanding officer of the court. People would respect you, and admire
you, and it gives you a real chance to make a difference. You'd
give everyone who came in your courtroom a reason to believe in our
justice
system, you'd never roll over and stand for the corruption that's
infiltrates every
corner of the legal process! Don't tell me that isn't important to
you!" Lindsay is
determined to ignore his empty assurances. "I'm the one who was by
your side
remember all the late nights in the office, struggling to make your
way. Lindsay
paces a short line shaking her head in denial. "All the frustration
we felt, at the system and how unfairly people were treated. You've
made your way Bobby, this is what you've dreamed of- it's probably
what YOU were born to do, and a part of you
knows it whether YOU want to admit it or not, it's extremely
important to you!"

Bobby's remembers much more than talking about the legal system
on those tension filled nights. He was head over heels in love, and
every
moment he spent in her company was sweet torture, he wasn't able to
tell her
how he felt, but God how he felt it! Every accidental touch of their
hands or a slight brush of her skirt against his leg made it
impossible to focus on the tedious work. He's
known all along what was important damn it she should KNOW that by
now!

"IF You were so damn sure it was so important to me than
why in the HELL didn't you tell me YOU KNEW! It's been
lies, ALL LIES from you from day one! As soon as you
found out you started this hellish nightmare for us and snowballed
it into something I don't even know what to call it anymore, that we
may never have come back from!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lindsay points her finger
at him knowingly. She feels the heat from the fire coursing
up her back but she is trembling from the inside out. "Bobby on a
NEED TO KNOW basis this is something I should have been told!"

"WHY DIDN"T you say something when YOU FOUND OUT!" Bobby
snarls right back. He's reliving all the pain he'd experienced at her
hands.
He's been on a roller coaster to hell and back over her deceitful
behavior and he's not going to pretend its okay that she did this too
him again! At least he's learned
to NOT make everything be okay anymore. She should be happy about
that!

"Don't you dare blame me for this! I'm getting enough blame to last
a life time for all the things I've done! How do you think it feels
to NOT be
good enough for YOUR OWN husband! There I said it! Are you happy
now?" Lindsay turns away and then realizes she can't weaken her
assault spinning
around to face him head on. The anguish warring inside is evident in
her eyes.

"I never for ONE moment said or felt you weren't good enough for me!
IF
anything its ALWAYS been the other way around!" Bobby's face implores
her not to believe she's ever been less to him.

"You didn't kill anyone Bobby!" Lindsay cries out her nightmare that
seem
never-ending because in her wildest imaginations she wouldn't
have hurt a fly let alone taken someone else's life willingly.

"Lindsay don't!" Bobby's voice softens as he hears her tormented
regret.


"NO! Lindsay stops his denial. "You will never have that attached to
YOUR name! You've had plenty of gossip but you'll NEVER understand!
They still whisper about me, behind my back. Now you won't have to
have it associated with you
if YOU and I are no longer together. Gossip for you will fade away.
I'll be the ex-wife-murderer." She laughs humorously at her
unintentional play on words
People will feel sorry for you that you ever married me in the first
place." Lindsay can't pretend anymore its all true. "The committee is
right. I'm nothing to you but a liability Bobby." She tries to smile
sadly as she instinctively hugs her body
in a protective gesture.

Bobby eyes glisten as his hands reach out holding her shoulders
firmly.
"That's NOT true. Stop IT!" Bobby's head shakes in denial.

"Admit it Bobby! You know! You were there when I was released from
jail. NOT acquitted without guilt. I HAVE THE GUILT! I have the
reputation! I have the stigma on ME forever! You heard people talking
everywhere we go, there's always SOMEONE TALKING!"
Admit THAT AT LEAST BOBBY!" Lindsay eyes are fiery challenging
him to deny the truth.

"NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" Bobby's voice is
hoarse from the earlier strain on his vocal cords but he manages
to blare his words so they cause the glass doors on the bookshelves
to vibrate.

Lindsay's single tear rips his heart out. He stands there shaking his
head telling her silently imploring her to believe his words.
"I care." Lindsay's hushed tone replies.

"Ah Linds…" Bobby croaks softly.

She smiles through the tears trying to be brave. "I did what I did
leaving- because
it has to be the way it is."

"NO!" I won't let you do this! I won't let you decide MY life!"
Youuuuuu
are my LIFE!" His voice holds no doubt to the love he holds.

"I can't be." Lindsay eyes narrow as her head tilts sadly.

"Why?" Bobby doesn't have any intention of letting her get away
again.
"What the HELL happened to OUR decision to MAKE this marriage
work no matter what?" Bobby can't believe she doesn't remember
it was only a few weeks ago for God's sake! "Everything changed for
us! We
were supposed to be a married couple again! We were going to
have OUR family and OUR LIFE BACK!"

"You know the saying Bobby **it happens!" Lindsay tone is
cold and almost unfeeling which strengthens Bobby's resolve to
change her tune about this once and for all. "Things change on a
dime. We BOTH know that! I was fooling myself before thinking - I
can't do it."
Lindsay bites her lip as she always does when she hates her own
words.

"YOU HAVE TOO! I won't be taking YOUR NO's for an answer anymore!"
Bobby invites her to challenge him. He could tell her now
that all her sacrifices were for nothing but he's sees there
is a deeper issue than his getting a job or not, going on underneath
it all
and he realizes that this might have happened sooner or later
over something much more miniscule. Lindsay is feeling unworthy again.
And he knows it may take a long time for her to really let go of
the past. He can't blame her for it. He knows he'd be a basket case
if he had to ever actually physically killed anyone. He couldn't say
he would ever know
how to forgive himself. So how can he expect her too so easily? He's
been close enough with the Isokov blunder and sending a former
client to threaten William Hinks to know that he's in no
position to judge her. Excuse the pun. But he has to make her see
there
were extenuating circumstances. Her heart has not quite accepted
what her mind rationally concluded long ago.

"Lindsay you're the ONE who has to let it go! Other people's opinions
won't matter once you do that!"

"I've tried Bobby! Don't YOU think I've tried! NO matter what
I let go of, there are going to be people out there ALWAYS whispering
behind my back-it will affect all of us more than you know! I don't
want to be the reason you live under those conditions anymore, and I
don't
want Bobby Jr. to have to deal with this when he's grown up. These
things
don't go away, this will be detrimental to us forever!" She takes a
deep quick
breath unwilling to be detoured by Bobby's denial.

"At some point Bobby Jr. will be faced with having this as part
of his family history! I can't LET it happen! NO matter
what I do, it will be remembered. She laughs self-depreciatingly. "I
used to be Lindsay Dole the lawyer that took down the tobacco
company. But now-
and I thought being associated with a PINEAPPLE was bad!" Lindsay
attempts a feeble joke. "Our son deserves a chance-"

"DAMN IT! Lindsay he has YOU! YOU ARE HIS CHANCE! You're the most
loving, gentle sweet, mother he could ever ask for! Seeing you with
him-seeing how he looks up to you, he'd be lost without you!"

"NO BOBBY! But you could change that for him. I don't think I'll ever
be able to give him respectability." Her eyes tear as she confesses
thoughts
she's had many times since being released from prison. "I tried to
think
of leaving- of going away, until he's way older- so he could-but I'm
NOT
that unselfish-I can't be parted from him, because I love him
so much, and I think he needs me on some level, even after what I
did,
so now while he's young I'm here, but later when he's all grown,
if what I did comes back on him I'll never forgive myself." She's been
haunted by this ever since it happened, how will her poor son deal
with his mother's reputation. If the sins of the father are visited
on the
son, then she is sure that applies to mothers too. She would never
have complete peace if she ruined her son's life by her impulsive
actions. "I won't let what I did hurt Bobby Jr. he is the most
innocent one in all of this!"

"STOP THIS!" Lindsay YOU are innocent too! You
did what had to be done, and its over! As for our son,
Lindsay's you're his mother! He's damn lucky to have you! You're
WHO he needs, YOU as you are now." Bobby tells her fervently.
"You're still soooo much more than a pineapple." Bobby reminds her
fondly.
"And for the record Bobby Jr. and I love Pineapple." His eyes glisten
just as they did
that late night in the office when Lindsay poured out her
insecurities.

Lindsay gulps back a denying cry.

"Bobby don't make it harder." Lindsay shakes her head. "I AM here for
our son. She swallows before going on. "But staying married to you
isn't an option with or without the judge's seat. You deserve
better."

Lindsay's got it all worked out, without so much as a word to him,
and it totally infuriates Bobby.
"I have THE BEST! I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!"

"I know you believe that now, but you'll see that I was right,
someday, you'll see
Bobby that you and I married, doesn't work, we both know that,
everything would fall apart again." Lindsay voice cracks. "Sometimes
loving someone doesn't mean you should be married to them."

"But it was OKAY to marry Ross, didn't you care what people said
about the two of you?" Bobby's voice almost chokes on the words. He's
going to be blowing all her excuses to hell! She met her match in
closing arguments
and he isn't about to lose this one!

"It's not an issue anymore Bobby." Lindsay says rigidly. She won't
let him go there. She has no defense to the question because in truth
she never had any real intention of marrying Ross.

"Well WE ARE! We're married and we're the issue!" Bobby informs her
almost happily because he can't help but be ecstatic that Ross is
once and for all out of the picture!

"And don't you ever tell me we shouldn't be together, married,
unmarried,
FINE! I don't care, but we were MEANT to be together, NOTHING you ever
say will change my mind about that!"

"No! Stop this okay, so you know I know about the judge's seat! Good!
It doesn't change ANYTHING!" Lindsay has to stay focused she can't
give into the softening of Bobby's voice or the cajoling blue eyes.

"THE HELL IT DOESN"T! Bobby strides to the exact spot they occupied
a few weeks before. He points to the floor with one hand while
waving the other one in the air. "You promised to talk to me! We
stood right here
in this room a few weeks ago and vowed NOT to make the same mistakes
again! We agreed, we're partners, and partners make all the decisions
together!"
What the hell happened to that!"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, then, you always have that affect on me,
you know the physical aspects of our relationship have always thrown
me off, I thought I could- we could love each other enough too-but I
was
wrong-love just isn't-" Lindsay has a hard time finishing the sentence
and it's a good thing because Bobby isn't about to listen to her deny
what happened here, and try to say it was less than it was.

Don't you dare tell me ever again that YOU don't LOVE ME ENOUGH!"
Bobby's
pain is plain and his eyes bare his soul. He takes a few steps
towards her. "I KNOW
how much you love me!" Bobby dares her to deny it.

"Ok, you know-you know there will always be a part of me that loves
you,
yes I admit it." She hopes to stops his advance effectively as she
did that day in the
office when she said she would never let herself fall in love with
him again. "But there's
also a part of me that can't let go of the past- YOUR past! Sar"
Lindsay can barely get it out. She knows he's seeing right through
her.

"LIAR! THIS ISN'T about SARA! This is about you running away to
protect me!" Bobby barks it out. I don't need to be protected! I
don't want you deciding my life for me! I don't want you throwing
Helen Gambles in my face all the time and tearing my heart out
because YOU think it's for the best! You DON'T get to decide!"

"Bobby you need someone to know what's good for you, because you
rarely ever
do, you have that self destructive mechanism that goes off, and-"

"NO! I AM NOT THAT GUY ANY MORE AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU DON'T
GET TO CHOOSE It's MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE YOU!"
He argues continuing his steps till he stands smack dab in front of
her again. They
keep moving forwards then back again, like in a keep-away game. But
no matter
what they keep gravitating towards each other sub-consciously they
continue
the ritualistic dance that eventually will bring them to a point of
surrender.
Lindsay wants to talk to stop him from making this sacrifice but he's
making it absolutely
impossible. Her mouth opens to interrupt but she is mesmerized by his
words, words she loves hearing.

Bobby voice is soft but NO less fervent than before.
"I CHOSE YOU! The LINDSAY DOLE, you were when I first met you, a
little unsure
of yourself, more of a young girl playing at being a woman, but I saw
the woman inside. And I chose you again, the Lindsay Dole you grew
into, the greatest most beautiful woman, and exquisitely talented
lawyer I've ever known. I chose you again when
I asked you to be my wife and the mother of MY child, I'll never want
anyone else by my side, you're my partner, and I want a lifetime
contract with NO loopholes."

"Bobby you just-." Lindsay closes her eyes unable to meet his. Hers
are aching
with unshed tears.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT
US! YOU OR ME! YES! I didn't tell you about the damn job, and YES I
did
want to spare you the judgmental insignificant opinions of a few
stupid
uppity people who think they get to decide what is right for me
almost as much
as YOU THINK YOU DO!" Bobby glares at her.

"See you admit… YOU HAD TO PROTECT ME! I don't WANT you
to have to protect me!" Lindsay finger hits her chest in a mea culpa
fashion
that tells Bobby she doesn't feel strong enough to do this by herself
at all.

"I want to protect you! You're the love of my life, you saved me from
a life I don't even want to think about anymore. Lindsay if we're NOT
going to let anyone or anything touch us again, we need to protect one
another, mostly from ourselves." Bobby smiles ruefully.

Lindsay can't quite stifle the humorous answering laugh. She did see
the irony
in the situation. They had done enough damage to one another on their
own,
without needing the serial killers and the lunatics added to the mix.

Bobby takes a refurbishing breath. Good! She isn't quite as tense.
They share
a familiar smile, knowing that many times they had been each others
saviors'. And just as many if not more times they been their own
greatest
stumbling blocks.

"You gotta stop doing this to us Lindsay!" Bobby says it fondly
pleading.

Lindsay hears the `us' again as though Bobby has never even
entertained
there wouldn't be an "US" left after everything that's happened.
She sees a faint spark of hope in his eyes and she wishes it could be
inside of her too.

"This wasn't what I wanted." She trails off afraid she said too much.

"Well if it's not what you wanted you have a funny way- Lindsay you
do this! It goes
to pattern with you-we get a little happy- you get deathly afraid,
and bam you're gone!"
Bobby expresses his own deepest fear.

"I – maybe - I do - tend to – become-" She closes her eyes,
indecisive about what
the hell to do next.

"There's no maybe about this! You've done this so many times
and everything gets turned inside out and upside down again! I feel
like I did when you decided Helen and I would be good together, do
you remember HOW disastrous that was?"

Lindsay eyes open but remain downcast from his. She feels the urge
to give up the fight and listen to his words of wisdom. There is a
truth
here she can't deny. She knows in her heart she has always been
afraid.

Bobby's fingers gently tilts her head up and she has no choice but to
see
what is so obvious. "Do you remember Lindsay? With Helen and even
after her during that crazy settlement you finagled for you friend,
the
one with the cigar smoking husband? We were engaged and you were
scared to death about us marrying? And now after a near divorce- TELL
me you're NOT petrified again?" Bobby's voice is appeasing and
gentle.

She nods a single tear falling. She's been terrified. She didn't want
to be,
but now after all they've been through the idea they could reconcile
only to have it all go to hell again, she couldn't face the thought
at all.
She couldn't handle any more pain inflicted by him. She just couldn't.
Her heart had nearly shattered the first time, and she fears for
her sanity if it ever happened again. "I don't think I could take it-
I wouldn't
live through it again-" Lindsay admits sorrowfully.

Bobby sees he's getting close to the truth here. So he continues
taking
full advantage of her vulnerability.

"I know what's good for me. I'm not dysfunctional anymore- I've had
lots and lots of great therapy-you know?" Bobby's voice has that
softened to almost a whisper quality that affects her like a sweet
lullaby. And he knows she is relaxing a little bit more with each of
his quietly spoken reassurances.

"You needed a lot." Lindsay teases him loving that he's who he is
now. She's
failing miserably at executing her plan, maybe he does know what's
best
for him. He's taking all her good intentions and crumbling them into
the ground. She feels his love so strongly that she is beginning to
believe that they can do this. His professions of love filled with
gentle tenderness have toppled her most ingenious plan to save him
from her for his own good.

"Yeah. He agrees smiling knowingly. "And I know exactly what and who
I want in my life-and nothing and no one is going to stop me from
having her, including YOU!" Bobby smiles indulgently as Lindsay can't
resist the urge to reach up and straighten a strand of his adorably
unruly hair. How she's always loved threading her fingers through
that luscious mop of his. His arms take advantage of the contact
embracing her waist.

"Your opinion is only one I care about, the ONLY one I've ever given
ear to, don't you know that?" Bobby voice cajoles her to see the
truth. "I've
turned to you, maybe not as much as I should have, but MORE than
anyone
else ever in my life. Lindsay, you are the anchor that holds me
steady. Without
you I'm adrift. Like you said YOU know me. So don't you ever desert
me like that again! If you run away, you'll be taking my heart with
you and our son's too. So know this
if you run I'll be right behind you, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"

"Bobby I did it all out of."

"-Crazy misconceptions that never had any truthful foundation!" Bobby
informs her
not wanting to be hard but knowing they would never survive another
misunderstanding
as huge as this one has been. She needs to know without a doubt where
his
heart and desires lie. "AND FEAR!" He adds knowing her so well.

"And out of love." Lindsay whispers against his lips which are
drawing closer and closer to hers.

"But it wasn't necessary. I admit I should have said something, but
to be honest
I was much more intent on winning you back than winning that damn
court seat
and I knew up front the committee had reservations."

"I told you!" Lindsay interrupts, trying to pull out of his embrace,
but he
holds on tightly, he's not about to lose the ground he's made.

"Lindsay if I had known the trouble the damn job would cost me!
I told them from the beginning to take the job and shove it, if the
job didn't include YOU!" Bobby makes it known officially and finally.

"But if you lost it because of me then-" Lindsay is prepared to argue
this
to the death much like the tobacco case. Bobby knows what she can be
like.

"I wouldn't have even gotten past the first interview and believe me
I've had plenty of interrogations! Lindsay they knew
my position from the get go- they had no doubt going in- Hiller told
them
and I did too." Bobby eyes smile a little as he remembers his
testimony. He
meant every loving word.

"I didn't know."

"You didn't ask!"

"You should have said something!" She snarls back.

"HERE WE GO!" Bobby chuckles as his heart takes wings.

Lindsay eyes crinkle a little too as she tries hard to hide her smile.

"How did you find out-I was so careful to-."

"Oh you created a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes my dear!" Bobby
agrees. He
guides her to the sofa in front of the fire holding her hand
happy to know she isn't resisting his touch anymore. But the gloves
are not exactly off just yet.

"So tell-how did you find out that I knew?" Lindsay asks hugging a
pillow with her free arm.

"Well it wasn't easy, but today at the courthouse when everyone was
yelling at me, a lot of things became clear, and Sam gave me some
crazy story about chicks and hens, I guess you put
him and Claire in the usual AWKWARD position! Bobby's eyebrows
rise as she sheepishly nods. And Ellenor and Jimmy were clucking and
arguing and crowing at one another, and I don't know how but it all
came
together in my head. And then Zo- (Bobby tests using her
first name as he'd been given permission to do for the first
time) "Judge Hiller
(he rests on it because it feels more natural), admitted she knew
that you knew about all of it!" I finally realized what all this
bizarre behavior of yours was about!" Bobby's eyes twinkle in the
firelight.

"I wanted to be sure you had a chance for Hillers' seat." Lindsay
admits it now because there is no use denying it. "And I was scared."
She acknowledges
what she was totally in denial about all along. Marriage terrified
her. More now
than ever. She'd been afraid while they were engaged, and Bobby gave
her
great excuses to want to call the whole thing off more than once. She
was
sure he was looking for a way to get out of it. So she offered him an
easy
escape many times. "I couldn't stand it if we failed again Bobby."
She whispers
tears glistening in her eyes.

"We won't! Lindsay you have to know, we are NOT the same couple
we were before, we're stronger, or at least we WERE before this- you
know that's true."

"I guess, I thought-" Lindsay's voice trails off.

"You thought wrong! Lindsay, Look at me, and listen to me."
She does as ordered.

"I did have a chance for Hiller's seat. You were never a factor of
any kind Lindsay,
if they didn't want you by my side-"

"You'll blame me later!" Lindsay insists not ready to believe Bobby
isn't still sacrificing for her. And even though she knows fear was
part
of her motivation, there is still doubt that they'd live happily
ever if it cost him his dream.

His fingers tighten around hers.
"NEVER! Do you hear yourself!" Bobby at least changed the words
slightly.

"This is a million in one chance thing Bobby! Offers don't come on
trees-
and Judge Hiller is-"

"One of the wisest women I know!" Bobby takes an envelope out of
hiding along
the sofa cushions. He presents it with a flourishing touch to
Lindsay.

"What is this?"

"It's a partial transcript of my testimony given to the committee,
Judge Hiller gave it to
me today, she told me to give it to you if YOU ever have a doubt about
my feelings for you. READ IT!" Bobby orders.

Lindsay's curiosity gets the best of her. She opens the envelope.

Her eyes take in the heading first, resting on the date. Her mouth
drops open in question and her gaze rises to meet his.

"Bobby, you couldn't have- the date on this is after-"

"Yeah, after I got your deadly phone message." Bobby fills in the
blanks hoping
she doesn't find it necessary to fill them in more.

Lindsay knows it was after a hell of a lot more than that. It was
after
he found her in a compromising position at Ross's apartment. It was
after he tore the necklace from her neck. She glances through the
first paragraph unable
to believe the black and white type-written evidence before her eyes.
He spoke about her in loving terms after he found her the way he did?
He'd hated her then.
How could he have switched so easily back to loving her only mere
hours
later?

"READ IT!" Bobby insists as her eyes curiously return to the
document.

She begins to read all the heartfelt things Bobby said about her
to the committee. His testimony was filled with love. He spoke about
how much he respected her, admired her courage,
how much better she was then all of them put together, he'd laid
it all on the line for her. He told them how lucky he felt to be her
husband and to have her on his arm, and he said that if they were
smarter Lindsay would be the one up for the seat in court not him,
because
her brilliant legal mind was unmatched by any others he'd seen.

"How could you say this- knowing-" Lindsay eyes cloud
and unshed tears sting.

"Readddd it!." Bobby urges her, his eyes dampening a bit as he sees
her
amazed, surprised emotional reaction. He waits quietly but impatient
to
have her see what he's always felt. He knows how influencing this
document
will be to her, because rarely in the past has Bobby admitted in
public
any intimate sentiments about anyone, especially her.

"You said all of this in public about me- in front of judges after-"
She can't hold back the tears as one beautiful revelation
after another is assimilated she's blown away by his candor to
these men and woman who had been nothing but hostile interlopers.
For Bobby to have bared his soul this way, at a time when he
should have hated her guts? He didn't even have to talk about her, he
could
have assured the judges there was no wife to worry about.
Why did he go forward with this beautiful testament of his feelings
for
her when his heart had to be breaking in two?
The soft weeping turns into the dearly hiccupping sobs by the end. He
slides closer to her
while removing the letter from her quaking hands. He cups her two
hands in his kissing the tip of each beloved finger. Looking deeply
into her eyes he decides she's gone through enough turmoil to last a
hundred lifetimes and it's time for them to be happy. truly, happy.
His husky voice is just above a whisper.

"Do you see why all of this never had to happen? We should be
all settled in our new house right now, you driving me crazy with
paint samples and fabric swatches, and me driving you nuts with how
it feels to
become a judge overnight." Bobby eyes dance a little as he
springs the last bit of information on her. "Hey Linds
you're going to drown me if you keep cryin like that." Bobby gives
her the moment it takes to register everything he's said. A wan
smile appeared as she heard him sharing that tempting glance into the
future.

But then she sees there is something mirthful in his eyes as though
he's
doing more than dreaming. Her sudden enlightenment causes
him to laugh nervously hoping he'd told her just the right way.
"OH MY GOD! You got it!" Lindsay
springs into his arms in less time than it takes
to say ORDERINMYCOURT! He holds her joyfully as she
kisses his face everywhere, first his cheeks, then his eyes, and
forehead
more excited about it than he ever was.
She's crying and laughing and hugging him so tightly he can't
breathe, but oh how sweet a suffocation it is!

She has to make certain she is right and not dreaming. She
pulls back slightly looking joyfully into those twinkling
blue eyes. She searches his expression for confirmation to make sure
she heard
right and at his slightly bedazzled nod her lips descend on his to
fully congratulate
him in the way she knows he loves best. There lips meet in
triumphant union at last there is no more thought of hesitation or
wrong doing is at issue as they share the blissful moments of
his, no THEIR third dream coming true.

Soft little suckling noises escape their throats as they embrace
voraciously.
Tiny tickling kisses become deeper passionate pleas filled with
longing and adorned in desire. Bobby's fingers nestle in Lindsay's
hair pulling her head closer and closer as
their distance evaporates into single ardent purpose. At last they
part lips breathless
and exuberantly happy.

"I'm so PROUD OF YOU BOBBY!"

He smiles tentatively.

Lindsay senses he's not as over-the-top about the job as he should
be. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just NOT sure. He shakes his head in self doubt. You know me, I
go in for the fight blindly and I give it everything I have, and when
I win I always think wow
this is kind of NOT what I expected it to feel like. I guess
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and insecure." He admits shyly.

"About what? Bobby you'll make a fantastic judge. You'll be fair
and honest and you'll make wise decisions, God knows you've
made plenty of enough unwise one's to know the difference" Lindsay
can't resist teasing him because she wants to see him happy about
this!

"Well at least I know it will never go to my head with you around me
Lindsay."
He teases her back grateful beyond words he can look forward to
her being there to ground him. He takes a deep breath. "I'm a little
scared-too
I guess. I mean I've spent my whole adult life distancing myself
from everyone as much as I could, who knows that better than you?"
He laughs ruefully, as she lovingly strokes his arm. "And now that I
know I can
let myself have my feelings, express them and be involved with all
the people in my
life, I mean really participating and communicating. What I am doing?
Going in there wearing that robe that separates me from
everyone else in that courtroom every day, and being the one
on that bench above everyone else-sitting up there won't I be
distancing myself all over again?" He asks her for council he knows
she will be honest with him. And this
has been troubling him for awhile now. He's relieved to finally
express it.
"I mean will it be taking a step back? I don't want to fall back
into that guy I was."

"Bobby YOU won't! You'll never be him again!" Lindsay eyes assure him
of her faith.

"I might. I mean look at how much has happened in our lives there
are no guarantees! Look at us, up and down like a couple of zany
yoyos! What if something out of our control hap-"

"NOTHING will change you back into who you were Bobby, You've
healed what brought him out, he's not coming back! And if he does
even a little, you'll
have Dr. Ash and me to stop him in his tracks." She smiles sweetly in
happy
anticipation.

Bobby eyes smile as he hears her say she plans to be there.

Her hand goes to his chest as it always has whenever he's needed to
feel her
presence in his life. She has a way of calming his fears when ever
she does it,
sometimes it been absent-mindedly sometimes on purpose she always
senses his need
to know she's there.

"I don't want to pressure you. I'm happy with whatever you decide.
But I want
you to know, that I know without a doubt "You would be the most fair,
compassionate, strong, caring judge that ever sat on the bench! I
believe that with every cell of my being, and YOU know Judge Hiller
would NEVER have recommended you for it, if she didn't know it too."

"Hiller, I hope she's not going to wake up tomorrow and rethink her
thinking." Bobby
grins sheepishly.

"When did you find out?" Lindsay can't stop smiling. This moment is
one she'll
never forget as long as she lives. Bobby a JUDGE! She's a judges'
wife. She smiles
giddily knowing that she never thought she have the pleasure of even
thinking it, let
alone experiencing it.

"Today, this morning before all hell broke loose. She had me come
into the courthouse
and I thought for sure they'd turned me down, but you know how she
loves to prolong
the agony in the courtroom rendering her decisions?"

"Yeah… I know!"

"Well she was true to form- all stern and disapproving-
she even offered me some candy, so you know I was sure I hadn't
gotten it."

"Yeah she usually slaps your hand if you try to even touch it."
Lindsay laughs remembering many such incidents. She settles back into
his arms contentedly.

"She was all business talking about some cases she had- and I tried
really hard
to pay attention because she doesn't stand for anything else- but my
mind
was on ONE thing and it wasn't getting that appointment." Bobby
tickles her a little along her side. Lindsay lets out a yelp. He
continues with his story.

"All of a sudden she's talking about the defendant in a murder case
and who
the lawyers are going to be, then out of the blue she informs
me it's going to be on MY docket." Bobby's unbelieving tone tells
Lindsay
he's still a bit in shock. "I almost fell off the chair."

Lindsay giggles picturing Hiller springing it so cunningly on Bobby
wishing she could have been a fly on the wall.

"I think I got up and hugged her, I'm not sure- what I said-after I
finished stammering and groveling she ordered me to sit down- pointed
at me like she always does. "

"You love it and YOU know it!" Lindsay pats his arm knowingly.

"Yeah-well- I'm used to it!"

"What else did she say?" Lindsay senses Bobby has more to tell her.

She said some really surprising things."

"Like what?"

"Like this was one of the happiest days of her career and that I'd
finally made
her proud the way she always knew she would be someday- and then she
she gave me the papers." Bobby takes those out of hiding too
and presents them as a child does with a hand picked bouquet, eager
to see Lindsay's
reaction to all the beautiful colors chosen with love. "Oh and she
also said I gave
the best closings of any lawyer she's ever seen and that she would
miss them terribly." Bobby adds impishly unable to resist tossing a
little reminding tease Lindsay's way.

She grabs the papers out of his hand and hits his chest with
them. "She never
said that! But at least you won't have to give closings anymore- I
know
there's a lot of sleepy jurists out there breathing a sigh of
relief " She grins teasingly her eyes tantalizing him.

"Is that so!" Bobby's hands reach out to grab the papers back. But
she isn't
about to give them up without a through perusal.

Lindsay holds them to her chest fondly before opening them and
reading the
final decision. "It was unanimous!" Her eyes praise him highly.

"I know- hard to believe."

"NO! Not hard at all!" She's not going to let him minimize this
accomplishment.

"So you think I should do it?" Bobby asks needed her signed seal of
approval to have
the confidence he needs.

"I'll haunt you for the rest of your days if YOU don't!" Lindsay nods
grinning widely.

"You said everyone came to the courthouse I bet they were thrilled."
Lindsay asks a little wistful that she isn't the first to know.

"Thrilled would NOT be the word to describe them." Bobby assures her
shaking his head. He's still not entirely sure what motivated the mass
rescue mission.

Lindsay head tilts questioning his words. She's going to have to delve
deeper later.

"Uh-well maybe they know by now-. they were there for something
entirely
different I'll tell you later- but- I wanted to find you, I wanted to
tell you.
I didn't take the time to talk to any of them. All they knew for sure
when I left was that
I was being considered for it- You're the only one I wanted to share
this with."

Bobby wants her to know he'd never considered telling ANYONE before
her.

Lindsay beaming eyes look contentedly into his as she realizes she is
sharing in his special exclusive moment. He's always saved those just
for her. Just as he saved this
haven for them. She knows he loves her. She knows she loves him. The
obstacles
she thought were there, are gone. She loves being able to show her
love again. She's missed him horribly. He's her best friend, her
confidante, her lover, her everything.

"I am so very proud of YOU Bobby, just think to the world you'll
be known as the HONORABLE Robert G. Donnell."
Her eyes glitter happily as she bestows his title for the first
time.

"Who ever thought I'd have honorable anything attached to me." His
sardonic tone gets him a playful slap. He'd never complained that
she didn't take his name legally after they married, because
he figured she wasn't completely sure it would be wise to share it
professionally. He'd always been a little afraid though that she was
ashamed
of it. He'd often privately refer to her as Mrs. Donnell but he never
pressured her to use it
in any way publicly.

"You've always been HONORABLE to me." Lindsay assures him almost
reading his mind.

"As you are to me!" Bobby assures her, he's not about to let her ever
feel
unworthy another day of their lives.
They kiss again now more tenderly less anxious that the moment may
never return.

As they break apart Bobby gets a resolute set to his jaw.

"If YOU ever again in our marriage take it into your head that you
need to run instead of speaking to me ONE ON ONE I will
take YOU over my knee and spank you silly Ms. DOLE do you understand!"
He quickly reverts to his favorite admonishing title for her.
Bobby looks over imaginary spectacles into her eyes to reinforce his
edict.

"You're sure that you want-" Lindsay remembers all the convoluted
behavior
she has tortured him with and she doubts very much he knows
everything he thinks he knows.

"I'm SURE that I want what we promised we would have last time we
were here!"
Bobby head tilts asking her silently if she wants it too.

He bends his head over hers embracing her so tightly that there is no
space
or air between them. She runs her fingers through his hair as they
open their
lips to seal the deal. Tongues tease and dance as the firelight
emulates
every flirty movement, sparring, challenging conquering in mutual
surrender. Bobby is overcome with the desire to make her his once
again. Here NOW! He pushes his body over hers melting them into the
soft cushions opening her shirt a button at a time, until
her creamy flesh is deliciously exposed. He catches his breath for a
moment before his
mouth descends hungrily to her neck making a rapid plunge along
her collar bone. Lindsay low surrendering moans invigorate his
ardor as his warm breath sends spine tingling chills dancing up her
body.

She pulls him down closer to her so she can feel the rippling muscles
of his
chest against her breast, her thighs push up into his as she feels
his lips nibbling her
ear and his fingers burn trails of molten desire along her flesh.
Her fevered ooh's and ah's overcome the primitive sounds of the rain
beating against
the windows panes and the occasional streaks of lightning only serve
to ignite
their aching need within.

"I love you Linds- I always have. " Bobby looks deeply into her
eyes.

She can't help but see theirs a flicker of pain still residing in his
beautiful eyes.

"Bobby I love you- I've never loved anyone but you!" She sees a
slight change
of expression on his face, he tries to hide it looking away from her
for a moment but she caught that instantaneous response of doubt. His
eyes return to hers reluctantly and she knows she hadn't imagined it,
and how can she blame him? She has been telling him exactly the
opposite for weeks.

There is another moment of slight hesitation, as he stares deeply
into her adoring eyes, and then his mouth returns to hers
voraciously imprinting his desire to always and forever be the ONLY
man she ever loves. He kisses, softly at first tasting her sweetness,
withdrawing and returning to her as if he will never have enough of
her luscious beauty. He takes her hands in his pinning them gently on
either side of her head, as his mouth descends over hers in a final
conquering feasting conquest as he kisses her into a mindless limp
murmuring puppet.

Bobby fingers are brushing against her breasts his lips have left
hers
as his eyes take in her beauty, treasuring the chance to partake of it
he isn't going to rush this, he wants it to take as long as it takes.
God knows
it feels like they've been waiting for years. His smoldering eyes
smile as he looks at her lying there so acquiescently and so
delectably his.

Her lips are swollen by those kisses her body languishes for more.
She wants him to make love to her she does, so much so, she can taste
it, but she feels a little nagging
voice telling her she can't, she can't let this happen yet. But her
flesh is weak
and unwilling to hear her conscience calling just yet. His head bends
down his lips
catching hers barely teasingly, beckoning challenging her to be the
aggressor. She takes the gauntlet happily pushing against his back as
she arches hers slightly, opening her lips so invitingly he accepts
the invitation greedily.

Lindsay tries to keep reality at bay but she can't quite lose herself
completely yet.

He whispers to her as their lips finally part sensing she is
troubled. "It's okay Lindsay- I love you- nothing else matters."

She wants to believe it, she has to believe that he does, so she
shoves the
little voice out of her head preferring to drown in his passionate
reassurances of love.

Her hands reach out to unfasten his shirt, she can't wait to end their
separation permanently, she's eager to become his again, only his,
always his.
Her fingers move over his ribs fondling, exploring, delighting in the
sheer magic of being under Bobby's spell.

Lindsay's doesn't want to stop this, she can't! Her body is
trembling, anticipating
ready to receive him, she wants spellbinding release, her heart
pounds with it, now, now, NOW! But there's something still holding
her back the returning, piercing, nagging
guilt stops her from reaching out to complete the removal of Bobby's
shirt. Images of her intimate moments with Ross invade with an
indisputable, shattering truth. Bobby hasn't said very much about
Ross, other than a little comment about her possibly marrying him and
when she denied it he quickly changed the subject back to the fact
they
were still married. She found that oddly out of character for him.
Especially now, he's been so forthright about the jealously he's
felt, why is he glossing over it as
if it didn't matter. She knows him too well. And she knows how it
feels
to try to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. She can't
pretend.

He hasn't spoken in anger, or hurt or anything. Why? It's not like
him to act as if it
doesn't bother him. She knows from his actions that stormy night at
Ross's
place that he was not OKAY with what he found. She knows the answer
all too well. He won't talk about it because it's too damn painful.
She inflicted
so much uncertainty into their relationship. How could he not still
be reeling inside?

Bobby is blissfully oblivious to Lindsay's lack of response he is
consumed in worshipping her body, kissing her neck again as his hands
slide under her half opened shirt exploring insatiably. Lindsay eyes
widen in guilty
awareness as she admits silently that everything is not as it should
be. She can't let him continue this until it is. Her hands push up at
him to get him to stop as she wriggles her body trying to make sure
he obeys her wishes.

"Bobby…. stop… we still have to talk about something." She looks up
into
his passion glazed face a little afraid of what her confession might
do to
this delightful interlude.

"What Lindsay I don't want to talk anymore, besides my voice is just
about
gone-I just want to love you-" His voice reminds her of an insistent
little boy's
she knows. He returns to his tongue's delightfully tickling pursuit
of her neck.

"NO! Bobby we have to talk LISTEN to me! You have to know about-
Ross." She
says the four letter word knowing it will be like a douse of ice cold
water.

Bobby pops up like he's been cannon-ejected. His sudden reaction
does nothing to calm Lindsay's ragged nerves.

"I don't want to discuss him NOW!" Bobby informs her sliding away a
little. She
definitely hit an exposed nerve.

"We have to talk about it!" Lindsay is buttoning her shirt feeling
over exposed
in every way. "You must want to talk about it!" She can't let him
revert
to the old habit of burying and pretending its okay. Because this time
she knows how much she is responsible for it's not being okay.

"I don't need to TALK about that guy!" Bobby barks adamantly. "DO you
want this
OR NOT? Because if you do Lindsay, I suggest we STOP this
conversation now!"

"NO Bobby you don't understand!" Lindsay tries to get a word in
edgewise.

"NO you're right I don't! Okay, but I don't give a damn either-
what's done
is done." Bobby voice has become like ice. Those words remind her of
other
words he spoke the night he found her in Ross's apartment wearing his
robe.
`We're truly done.' She can't let him continue towards their
reconciliation
without having total honesty between them.

"You're not being-" she can't exactly use the word honest now can
she? "Bobby
you and I need to discuss this!"

"No!"
Bobby's denial hits hard she can hear the anguish he is hiding deep
down inside.

"Ross is between us- whether you want to admit it or not-.and the
sooner
this is out in the open the better it will be for us both! I
promise!" Lindsay
eyes implore his cooperation.

"If you're trying to tell me YOU still have feelings for Ross then
YOU'RE right
he damn well is in between us!" Bobby's eyes blacken as he considers
the possibility.

"I DON"T I never did!" Lindsay denies hotly. "At least not the way
you think!"

"You don't have to lie about it Lindsay! I know! Remember I saw you
at his apartment." Bobby feels the acid splashing the walls of his
stomach. Oh God
why couldn't she ever leave well enough alone?

"You didn't see what you think you saw!" Lindsay argues getting
immediately
shot down.

"I DID! I SAW YOU REMEMBER, IN HIS ROBE ALL DISHELVED FROM BEING IN
HIS BED." Bobby voice is deadly accusing. He can't believe she would
spoil this intimate moment bringing in Ross! She must have some kind
of death wish for their relationship!

"Bobby you saw what I wanted you to see." Lindsay voice falters this
is
so much harder than she ever thought it would be, whenever she tried
to
imagine telling him the truth it never ended well in her dreams or her
daydreams.

"I saw and HEARD everything I needed to hear and see! Lindsay! What
is the POINT of this!" He swabs his fingers through his hair wishing
he could put his hands over his ears
he's heard enough to last him hundreds of years.

"The point is." She gathers her courage. "I never slept with Ross!"
She
scurries the words out like a scared little rat, feeling very much
like the vermin
she detests so much! She hopes to God he is going to be understanding
about her painful ruse, but from his reaction so far, she has little
hope.

Bobby turns on a dime to face her. He's enraged at her continuing
penchant for lies.
"DON'T you dare lie to me about this! Why are you?"

Lindsay stands up in rigid defense but her legs feel mushy.

"I'm not!" I swear I'm not- Ross and I have never-"

"I SAW YOU! How can you deny this!" Bobby realizes she could be
doing it because she's afraid he won't be able to get past it.

"I di

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