Six months later

Natalie walked into her support group meeting. She
was amazed at how much it helped her to talk to others
who had lost loved ones to an addiction. She had
realized shortly after she went back to work that she
needed therapy. She had gone to see a counselor and
had finally decided to talk about Nick as someone who
had died due to an addiction. It was the closest she
could come to talking to someone about her loss in
terms that were understandable to others.

Surprisingly, her counselor Marcia Grinnell had
recommended a special support group for her, one that
dealt with the loss of loved ones due to addiction.
Many of the members were parents who had lost children
to drugs or alcohol, but there were a few adults that
had lost their spouse or partner.

As she entered the library room where they had their
monthly meetings, she noticed someone new. He was
about 40, ruggedly handsome, and had a lost look about
him. She walked over to him and introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Natalie. You have that look that says you’ve
never been here before.” He looked at her, and smiled
as he took her hand.

“That obvious, huh? I’m Tony. This IS my first time.
My wife died in a car accident last month. She was an
alcoholic.” The last sentence rushed out of his mouth
accompanied by a look of intense pain.

“Welcome to the group, Tony. My fiancé was killed six
months ago. I never thought a support group would help
me deal with the devastation, but I’m slowly
rebuilding my life. Come on, let’s go sit down.”

They went to sit down, and soon the rest of the group
was gathered, and Marcia presided. The session went
for about two hours, and Natalie felt better talking
to other people that had gone through the same
feelings she had. Their situations might have been
different, but each of them was dealing with the
anger, pain, and feelings of helplessness. Tony
introduced himself, and told a little bit of his
story, but mostly listened. Natalie had done the same
thing the first few visits, until someone made an
observation that resonated within her. After that, it
got easier to share with the group.

As the meeting concluded, Natalie went to get her coat
and ran into to Tony. She looked up him and smiled.

“So, I hope we didn’t scare you. I know I was
uncomfortable my first few sessions, but it really
does get easier and it truly DOES help.”

He looked at her and smiled faintly. “I can feel the
rapport, and I think this will help me in the end.
Thank you for helping me. May I walk you to your car?”

In the weeks that followed, they started spending some
time together. Tony was a professor at the University
of Toronto, teaching chemistry. They had a lot in
common, and although Natalie felt a physical
attraction to him, she knew neither one of them was
ready for an emotional relationship. But it was with
some surprise that she woke up one morning to find
herself at Tony’s house and in his bed, and remembered
that they had gone out for coffee late the night
before, and had ended up talking until dawn. The
coffee shop was close to Tony’s house, so when she had
looked exhausted enough to fall over, Tony had
insisted that she stay at his house.

She didn’t quite remember how they had ended up in bed
together, but it was nice to have someone to hold her.
It had been so long since she had been with anyone.
Tony had been a considerate and caring lover, but both
of them knew it was just a mutual need born out of
loneliness and longing for comfort. Natalie was still
devoted to Nick, and Tony was still grieving for his
wife Kathy.

She got up and got dressed, following the smell of
coffee down the hall to the kitchen. Tony was dressed
in a bathrobe, making toast and scrambled eggs. She
sat down, afraid that there would be some awkwardness
between them. He turned as she was sitting, and
wordlessly poured her a cup of coffee. She smiled as
she accepted it. He finished the eggs, and gave her a
plate with toast, and set the bowl of eggs in the
center of the table.

Neither one spoke for a moment, when finally Tony
broke the silence. “Natalie, I want to thank you for
last night. I hope this won’t prove too awkward for
you. I…I know it’s probably the wrong thing to say,
but I’m afraid I might have made a terrible mistake
and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression…I
really like you, but…”

She leaned over and put her hand on his. “Hey, it’s
OK. It was a nice evening, and I really enjoyed
myself, but I know neither one of us is ready for a
relationship. Right?”

His face relaxed. “Thank you. It’s been a long time
since I’ve been with anyone other than Kathy. I didn’t
want you to think that you aren’t special, because you
are AMAZING. But, you’re right; we’re not ready. Can
we still be friends?” He looked at her, his green eyes
hopeful that they hadn’t ruined their friendship.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now,
let’s eat. I’m starving and I know I probably have a
lot of work waiting for me at the morgue.”

Two weeks later, Natalie opened the door to her
apartment just as the phone started ringing.

“Natalie Lambert speaking.”

“Hi Nat, it’s Tony. I wanted you to be the first one I
told. Remember I told you I had applied for a teaching
position in England for a year? Well I got it! I
received a letter today telling me that the University
of Sheffield is inviting me to be a guest professor. I
leave in two weeks. Can you believe it?”

Natalie smiled. She hadn’t heard Tony happy or excited
about anything in the four months that she had known
him. “Oh, Tony, that is great news! I’m so happy for
you!”

They talked some more, and she promised to help him
pack on her days off. He had a lot to get ready before
he left in just two short weeks.

The time flew by, and as they were packing the last of
his belongings that were going into storage, they sat
eating Chinese take-out in his bare living room. A
young couple was going to rent his house while he was
away.

“Natalie, thank you for all your help these last few
weeks. I don’t know if I could have done this without
you. I have to tell you, the thought of getting away
from Toronto and all the memories here is really
appealing to me. Please say we’ll stay in touch?
You’ve really been a huge support during this time for
me.”

She patted his knee. “I’m glad you’re excited. A
change will do you good. And you’ve given me a lot of
support, too. You know my number, I’m only a five-hour
time zone phone call away.” She grinned. “Now, let’s
finish up the last of those textbooks. You have an
early flight to catch tomorrow.”

Tony left the next morning, and Natalie never heard
from him again, although she thought of him fondly in
the months and years to come. Especially when she
discovered, three weeks later, that she was pregnant.

She sat in her doctor’s office, stunned. “I’m WHAT?”

Doctor Jones looked at her. “I said, you’re pregnant.”
Natalie just stared at her. “Are you SURE? Absolutely
positive?”

Doctor Jones just raised her eyebrow.

Natalie shook her head. “Wow.”
“Natalie, I assume you know who the father is?” The
question was said gently.

“Oh, yes, and I can tell you exactly what night I
conceived.” She picked up the desk calendar. “Five
weeks and three days ago. This is unbelievable.” She
set the calendar down. “Wow.”

“Natalie, are you OK with this? Do you want to carry
this child to term?” Dr. Jones searched Natalie’s
face.

“It’s so much to take in. I really need to think about
this. But, yes, I’m going to have this baby. Thank you
so much. I’ll call my OB/GYN and set up an
appointment.” Natalie got up to leave, her mind racing
with the news.

As she got in her car, she started thinking of all the
differences having a baby would make in her life. She
thought about contacting Tony to tell him the news,
but she realized that she didn’t want Tony involved in
either her life or her child’s. With a jolt, she
decided that she wanted a fresh start. A new life with
her child, in a new place.

Two months later, she accepted a position in the
States, on the other side of the continent, doing
genetic and forensic research in Oregon. When she got
to the states she changed her name to Natalie Lambert
Knight, and when her daughter was born, she named her
Nicole Lucia Antoinette Knight.