man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a...
Empire magazine, the 50 greatest TV shows of all times, Readers voted. http://www.empireon line.com/ 50greatesttv/ default.asp? tv=1 "I Like Poetry,Long Walks...
"I Like Poetry,Long Walks On The Beach And Poking Dead Things With A Stick." "Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug...
Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's...
JOB DESCRIPTION FOR CATS BATHROOMS: - Always accompany guests to the bath room. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit & stare. DOORS: - Do not allow any...
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I had amnesia once--or twice. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now...
6 TRUTHS OF LIFE 1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots, after reading the first 'truth', will try it. 3. The first truth is a lie....
A woman was at her hairdresser' s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: ' Rome...
1. Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "If you want to buy...
I sound like a stripper. ~Stacy~ MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS! We all need a little stress-reliever...
Subject: Letter to Tide Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was...
The Female Genie While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the...
The new pope was to give a speech at the UN. He arrived at the airport and was picked up by the limo. The pope had about a half hour before his speech, so he...
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject and finally getting all the necessary tools together she made for the ice. After...
A New York City woman of an advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor....
