Once again, I received yet another message to appear at a Kansas
City hotel, one, by now, very familiar to me. When I got there, I
was, once again, led to the same room/suite where I found myself
face-to-face, once again, with filmmakers Michael Moore and Oliver
Stone.

And, once again, I'm providing you all with a transcript of that
encounter -

sadmad: I didn't think I'd be hearing from you guys for a while. Do
you realize we have a heat index here in town of well over 100
degrees? This had better be good.

OS: Oh, quit your bitchin', sadmad. The place is air-conditioned,
isn't it? You ain't sufferin' any.

MM: You don't think we'd get in touch with you again if it wasn't
something good, do you?

sadmad: Okay, then, what is it?

OS: Here - take a look at this.

sadmad: The 'National Enquirer'? Are you freakin' kidding me?

MM: Well, take a look it, why don't you?

sadmad: This rag? Yeesh! Tabloid journalism at some of it's most
insipid.

OS: Well, we're not inclined to argue with you too much about that.

sadmad: The front page of this issue is devoted to showing us
paparazzi photos of celebrities in bikinis who display a little too
much cellulite on their posteriors. Wonderful.

MM: No, not that. Look inside a little ways.

sadmad: (sigh) Oh, alright. Let's see. Hello - what's this? It's an
article about our own David Smith!

MM: That's the one.

sadmad: Hmmm. It says that David (the '28-year-old hunk') is
currently living on the Texas ranch he received at the end of the
show. It says he lives there with his girlfriend - a local girl. It
also says he's traded in the rodeo in order to be a volunteer deputy
sheriff; that he receives no pay for such, but that he's still
liscensed to carry a gun and make arrests. Well, what do you know?

OS: Interesting, huh? Read on.

sadmad: It tells how he appeared in the show a few years back and
selected the 'beautiful model' Linda Kazdova to be his sweetheart at
the end of it, but -

MM: Yeah, this is the part we wanted you to see.


(Part II to follow)