From: Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge: Crying
To: GJRS@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:18 AM

 

Roy Orbison – Crying

I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say "Hello"
Aw you wished me well, you couldn't tell

That I'd been crying over you, crying over you
Then you said "so long". left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying

I thought that I was over you but it's true, so true
I love you even more than I did before but darling what can I do
For you don't love me and I'll always be

Crying over you, crying over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying
Yeah crying, crying, over you

Thanks to Susie Owens for the lyrics

Continuity: 5^th season, probably about a month after the events chronicled in "Chakram", but TLFENH prevails in my personal timeline, so there, :P. TPTB can suck it.

Submitted for the June, 2012 GJRS Lyrics Challenge

Archives: GJRS, JFFG - anybody else crazy enough to want this, please ask.

By: Sandy Fiebranz

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"There are easier ways to torture yourself, you know."

Joxer looked up from what he was doing, frowning slightly. "Huh?"

Gabrielle made a motion at her face, wrinkling her nose as she did so. "The way you keep crying, you'll end up making this the saltiest tasting stew ever," she said.

Joxer chuckled at that as he turned back to the task at hand. "The spring onions are what make it taste so good, though." He continued chopping the offending material with an ease that he did not have while handling a sword, only to stiffen up in surprise when Gabrielle reached out and put her hand over his. He raised his head and sniffled. "What?" He put his knife aside as he blinked hard to focus on her face.

Gabrielle stared up at him with a troubled expression on her face. "I
" She hesitated for a moment before continuing with a soft, "I never thanked you
"

"Thanked me for what?"

Gabrielle caught the bottom of her lip with her teeth, biting briefly and then licking them. "For coming to find us and taking us down from the crosses
 " she explained hesitantly, watching him warily for any signs of puffing up at her words.

Joxer surprised her by taking up his knife and starting to slice the onions again. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Gabrielle blinked and then smiled slightly. "Yeah," she agreed. She continued watching him for a little while before saying, "Joxer?"

"Uh huh?" This time he didn't look up, as he changed from slicing the onions to dicing them in perfectly shaped squares for sautéing.

"About what you said
 During the fight
"

This time, Joxer did look up, his eyes reddened by the onion-induced tears, to gaze at the uncomfortable-looking bard. "I said, 'No strings,' right?"

"Yeah, but
" Gabrielle's voice trailed off and she frowned, unsure of what to say next.

Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments before Joxer broke it by saying, "Can you do me a favor? I left my cooking herb pouch in my pack..."

Gabrielle straightened up abruptly. "Sure! No problem!" She turned on her heel and headed for the opposite side of camp towards the packs, mumbling inaudibly under her breath.

Joxer watched her move away before turning back to dicing the onions, taking extra time to make sure that his cuts were even, not noticing the tears still streaming down his face in torrents.

FIN

 

 

 

Lyrics Challenge

Title:  Secret

Author: Susie Owens

Rated: PG

Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics

Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds”

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985

I got a secret and I can’t explain
All the time, I’ve waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you’d better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love

Everyday you’re always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it’s worth my while
And then I look around and you’re not there
And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware

This is all, this is all

I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day.

The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off.

You heard a message and the message was clear.

As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t.

Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while

He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.

“We’re ready to go. You ready?”

He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her.

“I’m ready let’s go.”

She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears.

“Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.”

Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed.

And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.

Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend.

“Is everything okay now?”

Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”

Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them..

I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.

The End

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:36 PM

Lyrics Challenge Title:  Secret Author: Susie Owens Rated: PG Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds” Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985 I got a secret and I can’t explain All the time, I’ve waited for this day All along I was never in doubt I always knew it would never get out There are things that I cannot tell And there are things that you know damn well This is getting very hard for me I guess you’d better just wait and see This is all, this is all You heard a message and the message was clear All the time you wipe away that tear And all I want is to hold your hand To see the sun and walk the sand You make me sad and you make me glad And now you see all my secret is this love Is love, Is love My secret is this love Everyday you’re always there You comfort me And make me feel it’s worth my while And then I look around and you’re not there And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware This is all, this is all I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand All along I was never in doubt To see the sun and to walk the sand   As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day. The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off. You heard a message and the message was clear. As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t. Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.   “We’re ready to go. You ready?” He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her. “I’m ready let’s go.” She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears. “Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.” Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed. And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.   Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend. “Is everything okay now?”   Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”   Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them.. I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.   The End

From: Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, June 13, 2012, 10:08 AM

 

Lovely work and very well-matched to the lyrics. :)  I didn't listen to the song so I don't know about the tone, but it works perfectly in my head!  Poor Joxer.  And really, poor Gabrielle too... it's not easy to be in her shoes either.   Thanks for participating in the challenge, Susie!   R. --- On Mon, 6/11/12, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote: From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert To: jffg@yahoogroups.com Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:36 PM Lyrics Challenge Title:  Secret Author: Susie Owens Rated: PG Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds” Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985 I got a secret and I can’t explain All the time, I’ve waited for this day All along I was never in doubt I always knew it would never get out There are things that I cannot tell And there are things that you know damn well This is getting very hard for me I guess you’d better just wait and see This is all, this is all You heard a message and the message was clear All the time you wipe away that tear And all I want is to hold your hand To see the sun and walk the sand You make me sad and you make me glad And now you see all my secret is this love Is love, Is love My secret is this love Everyday you’re always there You comfort me And make me feel it’s worth my while And then I look around and you’re not there And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware This is all, this is all I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand All along I was never in doubt To see the sun and to walk the sand   As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day. The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off. You heard a message and the message was clear. As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t. Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.   “We’re ready to go. You ready?” He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her. “I’m ready let’s go.” She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears. “Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.” Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed. And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.   Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend. “Is everything okay now?”   Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”   Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them.. I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.   The End

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 10:15 AM

 

Lyric Challenge: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Lyrics from Sandy
Rating: G/PG?
Timeline: Alternate TLFENH; pretty much covered in the fic.
Spoilers: Season five, mostly
Notes: I had a really interesting and detailed idea come to me on this, and it was too long and detailed for a lyric challenge. So I kept writing things and then taking them out, but I saved them and I'm going to eventually develop the idea I had (minus a few of the elements in this) in a different fic, maybe. It's just an alternate to "Looking Death in the Eye"; I've written a bunch of TLFENH fics that don't make a lot of sense because they overlook the fact that every Greek God around wanted Eve dead to avoid the Twilight, but I've never actually acknowledged that. So here, and even further in the one I haven't written yet, I thought I'd actually bother to address it. :)

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
by Jack Johnson / Album: In Between Dreams

I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you would see the signs
But lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody
Don’t make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

I sang your songs I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn’t worth never having you
Maybe you’ve been through this before
But it’s my first time so please ignore
The next few lines because they’re directed at you
I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
I can’t always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it’s not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I’ve had enough mystery
You keep building it up
But then you’re shooting me down
But I’m already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well if I was in your position
I’d put down all my ammunition
I’d wonder why it had taken me so long
But lord knows that I’m not you
And if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel
Because waiting on love
Ain’t so easy to do
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

It had taken her four years just to reach "maybe".

That was three years of him being in love with her before she knew, then another year plus a few months after he told her, and in her defense there was a *lot* happening that year. What with the whole baby/Twilight/Battle of the Bands/poisoning/Amazons thing and all.

Plus everybody kept dying, so it really was hard to get *anything* done. Joxer himself had felt like it was a huge accomplishment just to blurt out what *he* felt, in the middle of everything else, and it had hardly calmed down after that. No, he'd come to terms with how long it had taken. Heck, he'd thought he was lucky to get "maybe". It hadn't been "maybe" at first, after all. The first answer was "Not a chance in Tartarus", followed a few months later by "I love you as a friend".

So after all that, "maybe" was ... pretty good, actually. Or so it had felt at the time.

Joxer sat on the dock and tossed breadcrumbs into the water, waiting on the boat that was bringing Xena and Gabrielle back from Rome. He was always waiting.

He spent a lot of time doing this particular sort of waiting, ever since they'd successfully smuggled Eve out of Greece. He didn't usually go with them when they visited Rome because someone had to keep an ear out for anyone mentioning Xena's name, or Eve's, or mentioning the Twilight or anything; and Joxer was better at blending in and eavesdropping than he was at defending his own life or anyone else's, so he got to be the "point man" while they went to play with the baby. Which was kind of not great.

The thing was, he always knew when they were coming back. They never told him, but he was always at the docks waiting the day they arrived. He knew, every single time. He'd greet them with hugs, offer to carry their bags (Gabrielle always let him, Xena never did), take them home and make them dinner, and wait for even just one of them to ask how he always knew. They never did. They must have thought he just waited at the docks for them every day while they were gone, or something.

It was, he would tell them if they ever asked, because he had always been able to tell where they were. Not in some specific mind-reading kind of way, just a general wiggly feeling at the back of his head that had used to say to him "go this way!" when they were just wandering around Greece, back in the old days. Now, on the morning of whatever day they'd return, he'd wake up with a vague feeling that he needed to go to the docks. Simple as that.

It felt so natural that he'd taken years to realize it was there. In the old days he'd always been keeping an eye out for them, so he was bound to run into them sooner or later; he never thought twice about it. It wasn't until he'd met them at the docks, unfailingly, three times in a row that he'd realized it was more than that.

He wished Gabrielle would ask about it. He had no idea how to bring it up himself, and he'd sort of like to know if she felt it about him, too. Or Xena. Mainly Gabrielle, though. And maybe it was important. Maybe it was the kind of thing that meant something, somehow, like those things between Gabrielle and Xena always did. Nobody ever asked him, that was the thing.

Joxer ran out of breadcrumbs, so he pulled his legs in and crossed them, staring out over the water without seeing. It was a bad idea to get too focused on the water. He'd gotten more than one bad sunburn by spending a good hour staring off to sea.

The first couple of months after Eve was gone had been hard on all of them. Xena had withdrawn for a while and Gabrielle had taken it very personally, first sulking quietly and orbiting Xena without ever connecting with her, and then turning to Joxer. As she and Xena had distanced from one another, she and Joxer had begun to spend more and more time together; initially it had been recruiting him as a shopping partner, and progressed to idle time spent together throughout the days. Eventually she was taking him on hikes and day trips, and overtly not talking about Xena.

It was great; if not for Xena's absence, and Eve being gone, it would have been ideal. But he felt like those things were temporary, and he wouldn't trade this time with Gabrielle for them just yet.

The last of the day trips had thrown him for a loop.

Gabrielle had taken him hiking up into the mountains, and they'd made it about halfway up the side before he called a break. She'd sat next to him, peering out onto the landscape below, while he recounted this dream he'd had the night before that he'd thought at the time was particularly hilarious, but was getting no reaction from her and he'd been starting to realize that it was actually not hilarious at all when you tried to tell it to someone out loud; and then Gabrielle had looked up at him, her green eyes shining, and taken his hand.

"Oh. Hi," he'd said, wondering if maybe he was in fact funnier than he'd thought he was.

She'd nodded, smiling quietly as if amused by this reaction. "Hi," she'd answered, and made a joke out of it. "Nice to see you again."

"Always a pleasure."

Gabrielle had seemed to go a bit vague after that, her gaze falling and going back and forth between his hand, and the landscape; and he'd watched her in the silence as her hair - no longer blonde, she'd darkened it some to be less recognizable to the Gods - blew in the breeze; then she'd scooted over towards him, lifting his arm and pulling it around her shoulders before settling against his chest. He was, not for the first time, glad he'd been forced to ditch his armour.

With a sigh, she'd wrapped both arms around his torso and squeezed; and he'd frozen entirely, because there was no precedent for this, and his brain and heart were telling him it meant two completely different things. There was no good way to react.

So he'd been honest in his reaction, which was to say, "What, what's... what is this?"

Her reaction hadn't been what he'd wanted. "I don't know," she'd murmured.

"Gabby..." He put his hands on her shoulders, held them for a second, then pulled her off of him. "Just - can you maybe... not not know? Or at least, sort of know... something?"

She'd looked at her lap, biting her lip a little, then back up at him. "Joxer... um... I'm not sure what exactly I..." She'd sighed and sat back from him, running a hand through her hair. "What I feel. I said - I know I said... Oh, I didn't want to have this conversation yet, until I figured this out a little more..."

"Figured *what* out?"

"Look, I..." Clearly increasingly uncomfortable, she'd clasped her arms with her hands and looked back out over the landscape. "I don't want to - to promise anything, Joxer. I *can't* promise anything, so... so can we not talk about this now?"

"Hoooooold it, hold it. Are you saying-" He'd leaned forward, and she'd sighed. "Are you saying that you - you have feelings for me?" She didn't respond, so he'd prompted her. "Like more than as a friend feelings? Like-"

"I don't *know*, Joxer. Can you listen to me right now? I don't *know*." In a smaller voice, she'd added, "Maybe."

Maybe. It was the sweetest word in the Greek language. Maybe...

"I'll take maybe," he'd said, directing it out to the view, to all of Greece.

There'd been very, very little discussion on the topic since then. She'd said she needed time to know what she felt, but that she'd really enjoyed the time they'd been spending together. He'd said she could take whatever time she needed and he'd wait.

And then Xena had come back to life - not in the literal sense this time, but she'd started talking again, planning the first visit to see Eve. She and Gabrielle had gone together and apparently they'd repaired their relationship during the trip, and when they'd returned everything was normal for them again and Joxer had had a Gabrielle-shaped hole in his life.

And now everything was normal, more or less, except that Joxer was still waiting; even when they were back in Greece, he was waiting for Gabrielle to mention it again. Months, it had been now, with him saying nothing at all about her feelings or their relationship, too chicken to ask if it was any relationship at all, waiting for them at the docks and staying at their sides when he was allowed to.

A dot on the horizon shimmered, then solidified, and he stood up and stretched his legs. From the distance he judged they'd be docking in perhaps 30 minutes, so he'd have time to take a quick walk around and make it back in time to meet them. While he walked he planned what he was going to say to Gabrielle this time. This couldn't go on any further; he had to stand up for himself and say something. She'd said she wouldn't promise anything, but she had, hadn't she? She'd promised that she'd *talk* to him, and so far she hadn't.

After everything he'd done, for all these months, these years; especially this past year, he'd done everything they'd ever asked, he'd even gone and tried to be respectful to her Amazons, in spite of how much they'd openly disliked him, and this was what he got for it. Did she even know he was still waiting, or was he expected to have given up when Xena came back? Did she care at all?

When he got back to the docks, the boat was pulling in. He searched the ship's deck for a sign of them - it was harder now that Gabby's hair was darker and Xena was usually wearing hers tied up - and finally saw them. He waved, and Gabrielle waved back; he wasn't sure if Xena saw him, but she'd never been as expressive as the bard.

Once they'd disembarked, hugged, and he'd taken Gabrielle's bags while Xena had shouldered all of her own, he said, "So how was she?"

"Bigger," Xena said quietly, smiling softly with a reflective expression. She was almost always quiet and a little maudlin for a few days when she got back from seeing Eve.

Gabrielle put her arm on Xena's shoulder, and turned her face to Joxer. "I'll fill you in after dinner. How was everything here?"

"Oh, you know. Same as ever. Boring." He tried again to put together a speech in his head, something for after dinner. *If I were you, I'd take a good long look at this situation and I'd wonder why it's taken me so long...* Didn't sound right. He'd keep working on it.

Now she smiled at him. "So what do you do, wait at the docks the entire time we're gone so that you can be sure to meet us?"

His heartbeat sped up. "Uh, no. No, I do a lot of stuff, I usually - you can ask anyone, I go all over the place..."

Still smiling, Gabrielle lifted her other arm and placed it around his shoulder, patting him on the back. "Ah. So then you just know when we're coming," she said, and it wasn't a question. He tried to scan it for sarcasm and didn't find any, though he would admit that he was really good at missing it.

Xena perked up a little after dinner, but she took Argo out on a long ride to go over her thoughts, and Gabrielle and Joxer chatted. There were a million anecdoates - Eve's first birthday was coming up, she was standing up, she had *teeth*. Not just a tooth but a whole bunch.

"She was biting everything in sight," Gabrielle said as she buffed the dishes that Joxer had just washed. "Honestly, I'm surprised I made it back with all my fingers."

"Next time you guys go, she'll probably be taking down armies. Like her Mom."

"With her teeth?" Gabrielle sounded amused.

"Biting ankles... Going for knees..." He got her giggling. "Then when they're on the ground she can do the pinch on 'em and they're out for the count." She laughed louder and finished stacking the dishes, then put them away. When she was done, he cleared his throat. "Uh, so... Gabrielle, I've, uh... I've been thinking..."

"Oh, Joxer, you shouldn't strain yourself," she said good-humouredly.

From her tone he could tell he was supposed to bite back, but the timing wasn't right for that. "Yeah, uh, I'm serious right now." She sat up, looking apologetic, and folded her hands in her lap. "Well... ahem... a-a little while ago... We were, uh, talking..." Gabrielle seemed to realize what he was getting at. She lowered her eyes and looked intently at her hands.

There was something in her embarrassment that set him off. He realized that he'd been hoping she had just forgotten, or not realized that so much time had passed, but from this reaction it was clear that she was well aware she'd let him down and she was feeling caught. Her guilt spurred him to spill it out. "Look, Gabby, it's been months. And, and, well - what is it? I mean, if it's no, just tell me. Just *tell* me and I can take it, y'know? I wouldn't even be here if I couldn't take it, 'cause you've already told me that a bunch of times. But you haven't told me *anything*, and Gabby... I can't always be waiting on you."

She clutched her hands together in silence for a moment, twirling her thumbs around one another, and then lifted her eyes. She opened her mouth, and he waited for her to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat; then she came to her knees and leaned forward towards him. "I'm sorry," she said, and he was going to answer, he was going to stand his ground and say that sorry wasn't the same thing as yes or no, but a moment later, her lips were on his in a brief, gentle caress.

"W-well," he stammered, his head spinning, "y'know, that's okay, these things happen... I mean, well, y'know..."

"Joxer," she said quietly, her hand still at his cheek. "I'm sorry, because - because it has been too long. And I... I need you to wait a little longer."

He didn't have an answer to that.

"It's been so... so different. I miss everything, everyone we knew. I miss Eve. I miss *Xena*. And I need... I need things to be... more the way they were, before I can answer. So that I know I'm not... not just..."

"Using me as a replacement for them?"

She lowered her eyes and nodded. "I know I haven't been... we were spending a lot of time together for a while, and we haven't been, but - Xena needs me right now, and I have to be there for her. But I haven't forgotten. I swear. There's just not... the right time, right now."

He let out a big sigh. "Okay, but... what if there's never a right time? Gabrielle, I feel like I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know where we stand and I don't know what to..."

"I know." She slid her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. But it's not forever, I promise. Eve's first birthday is coming up," she said again, "and... and I've been working for a long time now on getting Xena to agree to take her back. We've been safe here, lying low, so I think if we go get her and stay out of Greece we'll be okay. I mean... if you want to come with us..." She lifted her head and looked at him uncertainly.

"Well, *duh*," he answered, and she smiled.

"After the birthday. Okay? Please?"

Well, what else could he say to that? "Yeah, okay." He returned her smile, and Gabrielle patted his cheek and slid away from him.

And he was waiting again, trying to tell himself it was different now that he had an end date, but he wasn't sure if it was. But it was worth it, anyway. It was worth it.

***End***

Notes the Second: I *really* like these lyrics and I don't think I quite did them justice here, but I have an aversion to following a song as a plot outline. This one skirts the line some, I tried to keep the same theme throughout it, anyway. The portion about Joxer knowing where they are is intended to go with the line about wishing you believed in superstitions, maybe then you'd see the signs... I felt like it was underacknowledged that Joxer was clearly tied to both Xena and Gab in a spiritual way, so I played up a sort of theory I'd had for a while, and poked at Gabrielle to notice it.
Disclaimer: Song lyrics are (C) Jack Johnson. Characters are (c) RenPics.

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 3:48 PM

I enjoy reading this and for the record I think you did good with the lyrics Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover) --- On Sun, 6/17/12, Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...> wrote: From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...> Subject: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 10:15 AM   Lyric Challenge: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing Lyrics from Sandy Rating: G/PG? Timeline: Alternate TLFENH; pretty much covered in the fic. Spoilers: Season five, mostly Notes: I had a really interesting and detailed idea come to me on this, and it was too long and detailed for a lyric challenge. So I kept writing things and then taking them out, but I saved them and I'm going to eventually develop the idea I had (minus a few of the elements in this) in a different fic, maybe. It's just an alternate to "Looking Death in the Eye"; I've written a bunch of TLFENH fics that don't make a lot of sense because they overlook the fact that every Greek God around wanted Eve dead to avoid the Twilight, but I've never actually acknowledged that. So here, and even further in the one I haven't written yet, I thought I'd actually bother to address it. :) "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson / Album: In Between Dreams I was sitting, waiting, wishing You believed in superstitions Then maybe you would see the signs But lord knows that this world is cruel And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool Learning loving somebody Don’t make them love you Must I always be waiting, waiting on you? Must I always be playing, playing your fool? I sang your songs I danced your dance I gave your friends all a chance But putting up with them Wasn’t worth never having you Maybe you’ve been through this before But it’s my first time so please ignore The next few lines because they’re directed at you I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you I can’t always be playing, playing your fool I keep playing your part But it’s not my scene Want this plot to twist I’ve had enough mystery You keep building it up But then you’re shooting me down But I’m already down Just wait a minute Just sitting, waiting Just wait a minute Just sitting, waiting Well if I was in your position I’d put down all my ammunition I’d wonder why it had taken me so long But lord knows that I’m not you And if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel Because waiting on love Ain’t so easy to do Must I always be waiting, waiting on you? Must I always be playing, playing your fool? It had taken her four years just to reach "maybe". That was three years of him being in love with her before she knew, then another year plus a few months after he told her, and in her defense there was a *lot* happening that year. What with the whole baby/Twilight/Battle of the Bands/poisoning/Amazons thing and all. Plus everybody kept dying, so it really was hard to get *anything* done. Joxer himself had felt like it was a huge accomplishment just to blurt out what *he* felt, in the middle of everything else, and it had hardly calmed down after that. No, he'd come to terms with how long it had taken. Heck, he'd thought he was lucky to get "maybe". It hadn't been "maybe" at first, after all. The first answer was "Not a chance in Tartarus", followed a few months later by "I love you as a friend". So after all that, "maybe" was ... pretty good, actually. Or so it had felt at the time. Joxer sat on the dock and tossed breadcrumbs into the water, waiting on the boat that was bringing Xena and Gabrielle back from Rome. He was always waiting. He spent a lot of time doing this particular sort of waiting, ever since they'd successfully smuggled Eve out of Greece. He didn't usually go with them when they visited Rome because someone had to keep an ear out for anyone mentioning Xena's name, or Eve's, or mentioning the Twilight or anything; and Joxer was better at blending in and eavesdropping than he was at defending his own life or anyone else's, so he got to be the "point man" while they went to play with the baby. Which was kind of not great. The thing was, he always knew when they were coming back. They never told him, but he was always at the docks waiting the day they arrived. He knew, every single time. He'd greet them with hugs, offer to carry their bags (Gabrielle always let him, Xena never did), take them home and make them dinner, and wait for even just one of them to ask how he always knew. They never did. They must have thought he just waited at the docks for them every day while they were gone, or something. It was, he would tell them if they ever asked, because he had always been able to tell where they were. Not in some specific mind-reading kind of way, just a general wiggly feeling at the back of his head that had used to say to him "go this way!" when they were just wandering around Greece, back in the old days. Now, on the morning of whatever day they'd return, he'd wake up with a vague feeling that he needed to go to the docks. Simple as that. It felt so natural that he'd taken years to realize it was there. In the old days he'd always been keeping an eye out for them, so he was bound to run into them sooner or later; he never thought twice about it. It wasn't until he'd met them at the docks, unfailingly, three times in a row that he'd realized it was more than that. He wished Gabrielle would ask about it. He had no idea how to bring it up himself, and he'd sort of like to know if she felt it about him, too. Or Xena. Mainly Gabrielle, though. And maybe it was important. Maybe it was the kind of thing that meant something, somehow, like those things between Gabrielle and Xena always did. Nobody ever asked him, that was the thing. Joxer ran out of breadcrumbs, so he pulled his legs in and crossed them, staring out over the water without seeing. It was a bad idea to get too focused on the water. He'd gotten more than one bad sunburn by spending a good hour staring off to sea. The first couple of months after Eve was gone had been hard on all of them. Xena had withdrawn for a while and Gabrielle had taken it very personally, first sulking quietly and orbiting Xena without ever connecting with her, and then turning to Joxer. As she and Xena had distanced from one another, she and Joxer had begun to spend more and more time together; initially it had been recruiting him as a shopping partner, and progressed to idle time spent together throughout the days. Eventually she was taking him on hikes and day trips, and overtly not talking about Xena. It was great; if not for Xena's absence, and Eve being gone, it would have been ideal. But he felt like those things were temporary, and he wouldn't trade this time with Gabrielle for them just yet. The last of the day trips had thrown him for a loop. Gabrielle had taken him hiking up into the mountains, and they'd made it about halfway up the side before he called a break. She'd sat next to him, peering out onto the landscape below, while he recounted this dream he'd had the night before that he'd thought at the time was particularly hilarious, but was getting no reaction from her and he'd been starting to realize that it was actually not hilarious at all when you tried to tell it to someone out loud; and then Gabrielle had looked up at him, her green eyes shining, and taken his hand. "Oh. Hi," he'd said, wondering if maybe he was in fact funnier than he'd thought he was. She'd nodded, smiling quietly as if amused by this reaction. "Hi," she'd answered, and made a joke out of it. "Nice to see you again." "Always a pleasure." Gabrielle had seemed to go a bit vague after that, her gaze falling and going back and forth between his hand, and the landscape; and he'd watched her in the silence as her hair - no longer blonde, she'd darkened it some to be less recognizable to the Gods - blew in the breeze; then she'd scooted over towards him, lifting his arm and pulling it around her shoulders before settling against his chest. He was, not for the first time, glad he'd been forced to ditch his armour. With a sigh, she'd wrapped both arms around his torso and squeezed; and he'd frozen entirely, because there was no precedent for this, and his brain and heart were telling him it meant two completely different things. There was no good way to react. So he'd been honest in his reaction, which was to say, "What, what's... what is this?" Her reaction hadn't been what he'd wanted. "I don't know," she'd murmured. "Gabby..." He put his hands on her shoulders, held them for a second, then pulled her off of him. "Just - can you maybe... not not know? Or at least, sort of know... something?" She'd looked at her lap, biting her lip a little, then back up at him. "Joxer... um... I'm not sure what exactly I..." She'd sighed and sat back from him, running a hand through her hair. "What I feel. I said - I know I said... Oh, I didn't want to have this conversation yet, until I figured this out a little more..." "Figured *what* out?" "Look, I..." Clearly increasingly uncomfortable, she'd clasped her arms with her hands and looked back out over the landscape. "I don't want to - to promise anything, Joxer. I *can't* promise anything, so... so can we not talk about this now?" "Hoooooold it, hold it. Are you saying-" He'd leaned forward, and she'd sighed. "Are you saying that you - you have feelings for me?" She didn't respond, so he'd prompted her. "Like more than as a friend feelings? Like-" "I don't *know*, Joxer. Can you listen to me right now? I don't *know*." In a smaller voice, she'd added, "Maybe." Maybe. It was the sweetest word in the Greek language. Maybe... "I'll take maybe," he'd said, directing it out to the view, to all of Greece. There'd been very, very little discussion on the topic since then. She'd said she needed time to know what she felt, but that she'd really enjoyed the time they'd been spending together. He'd said she could take whatever time she needed and he'd wait. And then Xena had come back to life - not in the literal sense this time, but she'd started talking again, planning the first visit to see Eve. She and Gabrielle had gone together and apparently they'd repaired their relationship during the trip, and when they'd returned everything was normal for them again and Joxer had had a Gabrielle-shaped hole in his life. And now everything was normal, more or less, except that Joxer was still waiting; even when they were back in Greece, he was waiting for Gabrielle to mention it again. Months, it had been now, with him saying nothing at all about her feelings or their relationship, too chicken to ask if it was any relationship at all, waiting for them at the docks and staying at their sides when he was allowed to. A dot on the horizon shimmered, then solidified, and he stood up and stretched his legs. From the distance he judged they'd be docking in perhaps 30 minutes, so he'd have time to take a quick walk around and make it back in time to meet them. While he walked he planned what he was going to say to Gabrielle this time. This couldn't go on any further; he had to stand up for himself and say something. She'd said she wouldn't promise anything, but she had, hadn't she? She'd promised that she'd *talk* to him, and so far she hadn't. After everything he'd done, for all these months, these years; especially this past year, he'd done everything they'd ever asked, he'd even gone and tried to be respectful to her Amazons, in spite of how much they'd openly disliked him, and this was what he got for it. Did she even know he was still waiting, or was he expected to have given up when Xena came back? Did she care at all? When he got back to the docks, the boat was pulling in. He searched the ship's deck for a sign of them - it was harder now that Gabby's hair was darker and Xena was usually wearing hers tied up - and finally saw them. He waved, and Gabrielle waved back; he wasn't sure if Xena saw him, but she'd never been as expressive as the bard. Once they'd disembarked, hugged, and he'd taken Gabrielle's bags while Xena had shouldered all of her own, he said, "So how was she?" "Bigger," Xena said quietly, smiling softly with a reflective expression. She was almost always quiet and a little maudlin for a few days when she got back from seeing Eve. Gabrielle put her arm on Xena's shoulder, and turned her face to Joxer. "I'll fill you in after dinner. How was everything here?" "Oh, you know. Same as ever. Boring." He tried again to put together a speech in his head, something for after dinner. *If I were you, I'd take a good long look at this situation and I'd wonder why it's taken me so long...* Didn't sound right. He'd keep working on it. Now she smiled at him. "So what do you do, wait at the docks the entire time we're gone so that you can be sure to meet us?" His heartbeat sped up. "Uh, no. No, I do a lot of stuff, I usually - you can ask anyone, I go all over the place..." Still smiling, Gabrielle lifted her other arm and placed it around his shoulder, patting him on the back. "Ah. So then you just know when we're coming," she said, and it wasn't a question. He tried to scan it for sarcasm and didn't find any, though he would admit that he was really good at missing it. Xena perked up a little after dinner, but she took Argo out on a long ride to go over her thoughts, and Gabrielle and Joxer chatted. There were a million anecdoates - Eve's first birthday was coming up, she was standing up, she had *teeth*. Not just a tooth but a whole bunch. "She was biting everything in sight," Gabrielle said as she buffed the dishes that Joxer had just washed. "Honestly, I'm surprised I made it back with all my fingers." "Next time you guys go, she'll probably be taking down armies. Like her Mom." "With her teeth?" Gabrielle sounded amused. "Biting ankles... Going for knees..." He got her giggling. "Then when they're on the ground she can do the pinch on 'em and they're out for the count." She laughed louder and finished stacking the dishes, then put them away. When she was done, he cleared his throat. "Uh, so... Gabrielle, I've, uh... I've been thinking..." "Oh, Joxer, you shouldn't strain yourself," she said good-humouredly. From her tone he could tell he was supposed to bite back, but the timing wasn't right for that. "Yeah, uh, I'm serious right now." She sat up, looking apologetic, and folded her hands in her lap. "Well... ahem... a-a little while ago... We were, uh, talking..." Gabrielle seemed to realize what he was getting at. She lowered her eyes and looked intently at her hands. There was something in her embarrassment that set him off. He realized that he'd been hoping she had just forgotten, or not realized that so much time had passed, but from this reaction it was clear that she was well aware she'd let him down and she was feeling caught. Her guilt spurred him to spill it out. "Look, Gabby, it's been months. And, and, well - what is it? I mean, if it's no, just tell me. Just *tell* me and I can take it, y'know? I wouldn't even be here if I couldn't take it, 'cause you've already told me that a bunch of times. But you haven't told me *anything*, and Gabby... I can't always be waiting on you." She clutched her hands together in silence for a moment, twirling her thumbs around one another, and then lifted her eyes. She opened her mouth, and he waited for her to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat; then she came to her knees and leaned forward towards him. "I'm sorry," she said, and he was going to answer, he was going to stand his ground and say that sorry wasn't the same thing as yes or no, but a moment later, her lips were on his in a brief, gentle caress. "W-well," he stammered, his head spinning, "y'know, that's okay, these things happen... I mean, well, y'know..." "Joxer," she said quietly, her hand still at his cheek. "I'm sorry, because - because it has been too long. And I... I need you to wait a little longer." He didn't have an answer to that. "It's been so... so different. I miss everything, everyone we knew. I miss Eve. I miss *Xena*. And I need... I need things to be... more the way they were, before I can answer. So that I know I'm not... not just..." "Using me as a replacement for them?" She lowered her eyes and nodded. "I know I haven't been... we were spending a lot of time together for a while, and we haven't been, but - Xena needs me right now, and I have to be there for her. But I haven't forgotten. I swear. There's just not... the right time, right now." He let out a big sigh. "Okay, but... what if there's never a right time? Gabrielle, I feel like I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know where we stand and I don't know what to..." "I know." She slid her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. But it's not forever, I promise. Eve's first birthday is coming up," she said again, "and... and I've been working for a long time now on getting Xena to agree to take her back. We've been safe here, lying low, so I think if we go get her and stay out of Greece we'll be okay. I mean... if you want to come with us..." She lifted her head and looked at him uncertainly. "Well, *duh*," he answered, and she smiled. "After the birthday. Okay? Please?" Well, what else could he say to that? "Yeah, okay." He returned her smile, and Gabrielle patted his cheek and slid away from him. And he was waiting again, trying to tell himself it was different now that he had an end date, but he wasn't sure if it was. But it was worth it, anyway. It was worth it. ***End*** Notes the Second: I *really* like these lyrics and I don't think I quite did them justice here, but I have an aversion to following a song as a plot outline. This one skirts the line some, I tried to keep the same theme throughout it, anyway. The portion about Joxer knowing where they are is intended to go with the line about wishing you believed in superstitions, maybe then you'd see the signs... I felt like it was underacknowledged that Joxer was clearly tied to both Xena and Gab in a spiritual way, so I played up a sort of theory I'd had for a while, and poked at Gabrielle to notice it. Disclaimer: Song lyrics are (C) Jack Johnson. Characters are (c) RenPics.

From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
To: "GJRS@yahoogroups.com" <GJRS@yahoogroups.com>, "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2012, 4:21 PM

 

Well, despite Greg's *evil* lyrics, I do have something up & running, but which kind of stalled around the middle :P

Will endeavour to crack on though :)

But I still think the odds are I'll be last & least :P

 

 

Cheers,

                  Jer

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com; jffg@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, 20 June 2012, 20:28
Subject: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!

 

Just a reminder to Greg, Jerry and Nacey that there are only ten more days to get your fic done! Of course we'll still accept them after that, so that's an empty threat. ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that. XD

C'mon guys! I want fic!

-Me

From: Greg Gruschow <Zafnak@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, June 21, 2012, 12:39 AM

 

Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes

Lyrics from Nancy

Rating... PG (cussing)

Timeline: Season 5, post Eve, pre-Motherhood

Spoilers: Is this really needed? I mean, even Outer Mongolia has seen all the episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess by now. Spoiler warnings after all these years is like spoiler warnings for the ending of 1933's King Kong. O very well. Spoilers for the ending of Season 5 episode Eve.

Added Spoiler Bonus for King Kong- The Big Ape dies.

Notes: After much research, I've dug up the names of three of Joxer and Meg's 5 kids- Virgil, Theon, and Kara. Theon and Kara are the two kids sitting on either side of Joxer in "Looking Death in the Eye"

Disclaimers: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Virgil and Meg and the rest of her kids are not owned by me, I'm just making them jump through *my* hoops for a bit.
How Deep it Goes (the lyric story) was written by me, Greg Gruschow.
Permission is hereby given to read it, enjoy it and archive it if so desired. Just don't claim *you* wrote it or the Underwear Gnomes will get you.

How Deep It Goes
Heart

In the quiet afternoon you left and went down into town
And I just watched the empty road behind you
Where the fog lies kissing the mountainside
You want to be sleeping, deep inside
Believing that the hungry world won't find you

Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
What I believe anymore
Or whether to leave, or whether to stay
Or what I can say
To make you know
How deep it goes

Somebody turned on the dirty blues
I know you don't like the blues
Cause the words are always the same
And they kind of remind you
Somebody turned the blues on me
I don't like the blues cause I can't see
Through the tears that come and make it hard to find you

Come on down
Come on down
You've got to come lay down here and say those things
Those warm things, right here in my ear
The times that you had that water like wine
So clean and so fine to make me know how deep it goes
Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
If I could leave anymore, even though there's a scar
Still fresh from the war, don't think about it no more
Letting new love flow
How deep it goes

Rain. Virgil looked up into the sky and sighed. Rain. Again. It had rained nearly every day since he'd returned home. His poet's soul wanted deeply to believe the Gods themselves were weeping for his father, but he knew better. The Gods wept for no mortal.

The light, misty rain that was coming down in no way hampered him or his younger brother as they loaded up the family wagon with a few precious items that they didn't want looters stealing in the near future. The two youngest sat in the back to make sure the load didn't shift. That and there wasn't room in the wagon box for all of them.
Virgil made sure that Joxer's chest of Xena and Gabrielle Heirlooms was tucked safely aboard, and out of his mother's sight. He risked a sidelong glance where the woman sat, unmoving, oblivious to all around her.

Coming out of the tavern with the last load, Theon and Kara put the last items into the wagon and turned to him. Virgil cleared his throat and offered some final brotherly words.

"I'm depending on you guys to keep mother safe until you get to Athens. She'll be in good hands once you get to Uncle Jace's. I hope."

The pair nodded. "When you you join us?" Theon's voice was soft with sadness. Too much had happened for him to feel much more than numb but he was dealing with it as best he could. He had to- he was the Man of the House now.

Virgil shrugged. "Could be a long time. I need to catch up with Xena and Gabrielle and then..." He let the rest of his words fade away.

Kara nodded once. "Find her. Find that Roman bitch and make her pay."

"I will," her big brother promised.


*******************

From her seat up in the wagon box, her children's words washed over Meg's ears like waves on the beach. Ever since Virgil had come home with that... with that THING that was supposed to be her Joxer... ever since her screams and the tears that would not stop and the collapse... ever since then she was totally dead inside.

She gazed ahead of her with eyes that looked but didn't see as her mind replayed her last words to him.

"Joxer! if you walk out that door don't bother coming back!"

Those words. That stupid, empty words that hadn't stopped him at from leaving at all.

And he didn't come back. And it was all her fault. Her words. Her words had doomed him.

The kindest, most loyal, most loving man she'd ever met.

And she, with her hateful, selfish words,she had killed him.

She didn't notice as Virgil helped Kara into the wagon. She didn't notice as Theon hauled himself up into the wagon box, took the reins and, with a quick snap, got the oxen moving. She didn't notice Virgil waving goodbye, tears rolling down his face.

Her eyes only saw her beloved as he walked down the road with his son, as they trailed behind the Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard, getting smaller and smaller in the distance.
How she wished she'd have taken back those awful words. How she wished she'd said something, *anything*.

"But no," Meg's voice was barely a whisper. "I stood there and I just watched the empty road behind you"

And those terrible words began to ring in her ears again.

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, July 19, 2012, 10:10 PM

 

YOU GUYS THERE IS A THUNDERSTORM WHY AM I POSTING THIS NOW D:

Title: Inappropriate
Author: Xebbie
Timeline: Somewhere around "Purity", likely before "Back in the Bottle"
Rating: PG-ish
Spoilers: Purity, early season five in general
References to: Fallen Angel, Chakram, Animal Attraction, and Them Bones, Them Bones. Oh, and Purity. :P
Disclaimer: I own nothing! All characters - Joxer, Gabrielle, and Xena - and the show they come from are owned by RenPics.
Notes: I dunno if I can really make this quite jibe with my read on The Scene in "Purity" but it was the best I could do; I think I sort of over-apologized for Joxer when I don't actually think he did anything *wrong*. He doesn't really need an explanation for being himself, after all. XD

*****

It was the most bizarre change, Gabrielle thought.

They left him in Spamona, and he was mooning over her and under her foot at every turn; and she felt guilty if she snapped at him for it, because after all he *had* been under a lot of emotional stress and, well, technically she had sort of given her tacit okay for him to be openly in love with her when she'd accepted the whole "no strings" thing. Under protest, she might add, but it wasn't as if she'd told him to get over it.

That would be cruel.

As long as there was an understanding that NOTHING was going to happen and that she didn't have to *do* anything... and that was what "no strings" meant, right? Nothing was required from her, it wasn't her responsibility, he was going to deal with it himself - well, in any case, *if* that was how things were going to go, then it was only fair that she give him a little space to adjust, and be nice to him. Be understanding. Be patient.

More so than usual, even. Patience was a requirement when dealing with Joxer on a good day.

Well, but so there he'd been in Spamona, giving her longing looks and running after her with offers to carry things - whatever all that was about - and being oddly un-Joxerlike with his offers to basically do menial jobs for her whenever she needed it, but managing to be completely Joxer about it.

Then they'd split up, and they'd left Amarice with the Northern Amazons, and when he'd caught up with them again it was like - in love? With Gabrielle? Who, now?

And Gabrielle felt herself starting to relax, finally. It had been some crazy mistake; he'd been overwhelmed, from the whole crucifixion thing, which was overwhelming to everyone, and ... well, somehow or other he'd translated the whole thing into being in love with her. And then he'd cleared his head and gotten it out of his system and he was back to being Joxer, thank the Gods.

And it meant she could be herself around him again, too. She could whack him for snoring at night, which he did loudly and frequently; she could run him down when he said something stupid without worrying that he'd take it personally. In fact he was giving as well as he was getting - heck, once they'd arrived in Chin he'd started running *her* down again, which he hadn't done in months, and the craziest thing about it was that it was such a relief that she didn't even MIND. And equally weird, now that she *could* insult him again, it was easier to compliment him too.

Except for one thing.

He didn't seem to be able to go much more than a day without making some kind of... comment. Something to do with sex, or her physical appearance, or... *something* suggestive.

This was actually vintage Joxer as well; the man had no inner voice telling him what was okay to say out loud, especially among mixed company.

But he *only* did it to her. And under the circumstance, Gabrielle thought it was not out of line for her to wonder what it was about.

It wasn't even complimentary, exactly. Not really. It would be one thing to hear "Gee Gabrielle, your hair looks nice today" or "That's a pretty outfit." She would have even settled for "Nice boots" or something. But no, instead, every day it was some weird effort at being funny mixed with some inappropriately sexual content: like the morning when she was pumping water out of a well for Xena and he off-handedly commented that she must be fun on dates. Stuff like that. They weren't come-ons; he wasn't trying to put the moves on her or anything, he apparently just thought he was being funny, but it made her wonder... just how often, when he looked at her, did his mind go straight into the gutter?

Then yesterday had been the worst one yet. Though she couldn't really blame him for having his mind in the gutter, under the circumstances... but it would have been *awfully* nice if he could have just put the whole situation into a little more context...

Honestly. "Three feet in my-" *Honestly*.

She'd been determined to put the whole event out of her head, and to never let anyone know it had happened, because she would never live it down. And much as she had feared the opposite, Joxer was evidently keeping his mouth shut. So far, anyway; give him a week, part of her said, and he'll forget that he promised and start blabbing about it to everyone. *She*, on the other hand, had no such plans or desires.

But then she couldn't stop thinking about it. And the more she thought about it the more it bugged her. Did it *mean* something...? Okay - okay, she knew what that line was *supposed* to mean, but putting THAT aside... He was NORMAL again, or normal for Joxer. And she *liked* him being normal for Joxer. And this was going to gnaw away at her and that meant...

That meant that she had to tell Xena.

She plopped down by the fire that night and stared at the embers until Xena said, "Okay, spill it."

"Um, I don't know what you're talking about...?"

"Don't even try that one. Something's bothering you, and if I recognize the facial tics correctly, it has to do with Joxer. If I recall correctly you spent a few hours in close confinement with him earlier today, so - spill."

Gabrielle took a deep breath - this was going to be hard to relive - and spilled.

***

"Three feet in your pants?" Xena asked bluntly.

Joxer, who was arranging spices in a portion of his knapsack that Xena had previously thought went unused, jumped about a mile. "Oh - uh, you heard about that, huh?" he asked, a little sheepishly, when he'd recovered. "Pretty good line, right?"

Xena didn't answer in words, but she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay." Joxer stopped and coughed, then looked at his hands, then started to say something. Then he stopped, laughed, cocked his head, and said, "Okay. See, here's the thing. Do you ever *try* to be funny?"

"Never."

After a moment of staring her in the face, during which Xena's stony expression did not shift, Joxer nodded. "Okay, I buy that. Well, lemme tell you something, it's *hard*."

"Clearly. Should I take this to mean that you try to be funny often?"

Joxer gave her a look. "You sure you're not trying to be funny right now?"

"Touche." Xena broke, and gave him a half-smile. "So. Trying to be funny makes you traumatize Gabrielle?"

"Aw man, she told you? I really didn't think she'd tell *any*one about that." He peered at her. "How MUCH did she tell you?"

"Enough for me to know you had a better day than she did."

"Heh." Joxer looked chagrined, and at the same time, giddy. He cleared his throat. "It was purely professional. I was just trying to lighten the mood, y'know, she takes these things really seriously so I just wanted to... y'know..."

"So you had her best intentions at heart."

"Absolutely!" He nodded emphatically. "As always!"

"And the 'you must be fun on a date' thing..."

"That was a compliment!" he sputtered.

"Mm-hmm. And so referring to her 'buns of steel'-"

"She is in *great* shape."

"Of course." Xena nodded, then cocked her head. "Joxer, lemme ask you something..."

But Joxer was already sighing and lowering his head. "Okay, *okay*, I know. I sound like a jerk. You think I don't know?"

"Actually, I am a little surprised to hear this."

"Well, I do. But I'm... she... y'know, things aren't *normal*." He shrugged, and went back to organizing his spices - or trying to, since he didn't actually appear to be paying attention to what was what. "They haven't been normal in a while, and - y'know, they... I dunno. It just seemed like it was starting to bug her, anyway, so I thought I'd try to *pretend* things were normal, go back to the way things were before. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Gabby seems a lot more..."

"Relaxed. Definitely."

"Oh good, I'm not imagining that, then."

"Well, she was up until a day or two ago..."

Scratching evasively at his cheek, Joxer said innocently, "Uh-huh..."

"So. What's up with the comments, Joxer, and no bull."

"Whew. Okay. Fine." He pushed his lips out for a moment or two, face towards the sky and away from Xena, and then he said, "I get performance anxiety."

Xena bit back a snicker. "Nice."

Apparently relieved by her reaction, Joxer barely smothered a grin. "I just wanna keep things light, really, y'know? But it's hard to be funny all the time, and especially when I'm looking at her -" He paused and took a second to cough again, then restarted, "Especially when Gabrielle's kinda tense... So, I mean - well, look, I'd *love* to wake up every day and tell her how gorgeous she is in the mornings, but then I'd look like a creep who's always staring at her."

"Which you are," Xena reminded him wryly.

"I am *not*! C'mon, give me a break here, this is HARD for me!"

Smiling more softly, Xena said, "I know. I'm teasing. So instead of complimenting her you... what exactly?"

"Just goof around," he said insistently. "I mean, if some of the stuff that comes out *happens* to be about her..."

"What were you saying about performance anxiety?" she cut in.

He wilted directly. "Okay. I get nervous. Not always, I'm fine most of the time, but when I'm joking with Gabby sometimes I get really, really nervous. And when I get nervous it- it all comes out wrong."

"That actually makes a lot of sense." Xena patted him on the knee.

"Few things are as nerve-wracking as having the woman you love stick her foot down your pants for the wrong reasons," Joxer said sagely.

Xena removed her hand and sighed. "You always gotta say something to ruin it, huh, Joxer?"

He sighed, too. "Yeah."

"All right," Xena said, and pushed herself to her feet - who had made the ground so damned *low*, that's what she wanted to know. "Well, I'll tell Gabrielle to lay off and give you some space so that you don't get so-"

"No no! Noooo, no no. I don't want her to know, okay?" He blinked at her, very sincerely, and added, "It'd mean a lot to me if you just didn't tell her any of this."

Well, then what *was* she supposed to tell the very antsy bard waiting for her to come back with an explanation? Xena sighed in exasperation. "Fine, I'll try and come up with something else. But don't blame me if it's no good."

Joxer gave her a twin thumbs-up sign and nodded, grinning broadly.

***

When Xena returned to the campsite where Gabrielle was waiting, she found the blonde scuffing hard at her boots, apparently engrossed. She sat down carefully and waited for Gabrielle to speak first.

"Okay, anything?" Gabrielle asked without looking at her boots.

"He's sorry," Xena said noncommittally, "and it wasn't meant to be offensive. He's just trying to be funny."

Gabrielle snorted. "Funny. Yeah. Funny guy, that Joxer."

"Have you tried asking him to stop? Because really, if he *knew* how much it bothered you, I bet he'd stop."

There was a pause, and Xena knew that Gabrielle had not bothered to do this, and that she was trying to justify the fact that she had no plans to do it later. Instead she held up a boot and examined it, but it was hard to tell if she was really looking at it or not. "He might," she said lightly. "But you never know with Joxer. Maybe if he knew it bothered me he'd just do it *more*."

That was a weak excuse, Xena thought. Oh well.

"I wonder how he'd like it if I blatantly harrassed *him*," Gabrielle continued. "Like if *I* made some kind of comment about what's in his pants."

"That's an awful thought."

"I know, I'm really wishing I hadn't said that right now," Gabrielle said, squinching up her nose in distaste. "But still. You know what? Tomorrow I'm gonna give him a taste of his own medicine. See how he likes the shoe on the other foot." She put her boot down decisively.

***

The day dawned brightly, and most of their party did as well. Gabrielle was not in the best of moods, but she felt passable. Mostly she was distracted, watching Joxer, waiting for the moment to strike - the moment when inspiration would hit her and she could find something to pounce on him for. ...Figuratively. She would *figuratively* pounce on him. And then she would take him *down*.

The opportunity arose after breakfast, when they were packing up and Xena asked Joxer to pack up her bedroll along with his own, due to her back feeling stiff. Joxer did it - though under loud protest, which earned him a dirty look from the pregnant lady - and it was while he was on his hands and knees that Gabrielle knew the moment had arrived.

She was utterly unprepared, however. Come on, Gabrielle - just say something deliberately embarrassing. Something rude, something that'll make him feel like a piece of meat. Come *on*.

"Hey Joxer!" she called abruptly, "nice butt!"

Joxer straightened up and turned to look at her, his expression one of total shock. Within seconds the shock disappeared, replaced by a very surprised delight. "Wow - thanks!" he said.

"Oh Gods," Gabrielle muttered to herself in horror and put her hand over her mouth.

"Can't really blame you for noticing," Joxer said with a grin, and leaned back over. "Actually, I've been workin' out..."

"Well, Gabrielle, that was very kind of you," said Xena in the even, almost disinterested tone of voice she used when she was laughing on the inside.

The hand over Gabrielle's mouth skipped up to cover her eyes as the bard lowered her head. "What have I *done*...?" she muttered.

So much for normal.

*****

End.

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, July 20, 2012, 9:54 PM

Cute Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Lost & Found
To: "GJRS@yahoogroups.com" <GJRS@yahoogroups.com>, "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, August 9, 2012, 7:36 PM

 

Young Xebbie asked me if I could scribe a short story whilst I'm pondering my next moves on the Lyrics challenge (2 months late & running I think :oP)  but I don't do short stories. I do short...ish stories LOL

But nevertheless, I cobbled together something from Monday morning to this evening just before I left work to come home, from a random part of 3rd Series. 

Not sure what the inspiration was exactly, aside from a couple of lines from a Susan Fassbender song (she of 'Twilight Cafe' fame) which kept hanging in my head;

"....I saw you chasing the cloud in the sun, I heard you say you were lost..."

So I wondered about what might happen if  Gabby's & Xena's stuff from times past just suddenly turned up, & then it just went on from there.

Xebbie was kind enough to say it passed muster, so I'm posting it here for your perusal....

Cheers,

                    Jer,  blathering too much as usual...

Lost & Found

 

“Let’s stop here for a minute,” Gabrielle said.

 

Xena arched her eyebrows questioningly, from atop her mare, the trio stopping on a quiet country road. There was nothing or no-one about as far as the eye could see.

 

“The well,” Gabrielle explained, pointing to one a short distance away.

“I’m thirsty.”

 

“Okay Gabrielle,” Xena said, feeling the beat of the sun on her back & a few patches of sweat beneath her armour

“Let’s see if there’s anything in there first.”

 

She dropped nimbly to the ground in a showy dismount & picked up a random stone. Leaning over the ground cavity, she dropped it & cupped her ear to listen. After a pause, she lifted her head & turned to Gabrielle.

 

“There is, but not much by the sound of it. Probably not been much rain around here recently,” she said.

 

Gabrielle bounced over to the winch & heaved hard at it over several hefty turns, pulling up what she hoped was a full bucket. It was, with an unwanted guest.

 

“You,” Xena told the frog, removing it to the well’s edge.

“We don’t need. Shoo!”

 

It croaked reproachfully at her, then hopped back in & landed with a splash. Its croaks could be heard echoing around the well.

 

“Now we’ve got rid of him, let’s have a drink,” Xena announced.

“I think we could both take a few minutes to cool down. It *is* a warm day, you’ve just worked up a sweat & Argo could do with a drink & washdown too. Couldn’t you, Girl?”

 

The horse gave her head a mild shake & whinnied softly in apparent accord. Xena gave her a reassuring pat & unhooked the pail, casually passing it to Gabrielle. The younger girl buckled under the weight but managed not to drop it, giving Xena a filthy look in return.

 

“Oof! That’s heavy,” she breathed, spilling a little.

 

Xena lifted easily what her comrade was struggling with & placed it upon the ground. Cupping her hands, she soaked her hair & brushed her fingers through. The cooling sensation felt much better & she had a drink for good measure.

 

“You’re right Gabrielle, I do feel much better,” Xena said breezily.

 

Gabrielle gave her comrade another look before doing likewise. The remainder of the water was left for Argo, who drank her fill & settled for a light graze. Xena took this as an opportunity to give her a clean & brush down, dismantling the saddle, bags & other equipment & putting neatly to one side. It looked they were going to be a while longer yet, so Gabrielle leant up against the side of the well & dove into her scroll bag. There were a few notes she wanted to tag onto their last adventure, & she wanted to do it whilst it was still fresh in her mind.

 

“Oh bother!”

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

Xena lifted her head up from Argo to see Gabrielle looking mournfully down the well.

 

“Knocked my ink pot down there,” Gabrielle said sadly.

“I’ve only got what’s left in my quill. Damn. I was hoping to finish off that last scroll too.”

 

Xena felt a hopeful glance point her way, & shook her head with a slight smile.

 

“Sorry Gabrielle, I have no desire to climb down a dark, dirty well, even for your last inkpot. Not that I would fit well in any case.”

 

Gabrielle looked again at the well. It was true that it was somewhat narrower than was usual, leaving room for the bucket & not much else. And as slender as Xena was, it wouldn’t be a fun climb up & down. And the less said about herself climbing down the better. A ferret, she wasn’t.

 

“Hold up Gabrielle,” Xena called out, looking up the road.

“There’s a caravan coming, maybe they might have some ink you can buy.”

 

Gabrielle perked up at the news, her mind turning to haggling in an instant. Now the likely prices of goods were flicking through her brain, mulling over what her counter-prices should be & what goods she needed. The procession of carts rumbled up the road, coming nearer & the two women got up to take a closer look.

 

There were about 6 covered wagons about a foot or two apart, two horses & a solitary driver per cart. They trotted at a snail’s pace, each horse keeping perfect time.

 

“Ho! What’s for sale?” Xena hailed them

 

“For sale?” the lead driver frowned.

“What are your names?”

 

“I’m Xena,” Xena said.

 

“I’m Gabrielle,” the bard said brightly.

 

She wore a cheery smile like a badge, hoping to put the caravan at ease.

 

“George!” the first man called out, to his counterpart behind.

“Have you got anything for a Gabrielle or a Xena?”

 

“Not I, Achilles,” George said & promptly turned about.

“Hector! How about you? Xena or Gabrielle?”

 

“No joy here, George,” Hector answered.

“Xenaphon? Xena or Gabrielle?”

 

“Afraid not,” Xenaphon replied.

“ Ajax ?”

 

“Aye, I have,” the fifth driver said.

“Come on up.”

 

“Why did you ask whether you have anything for us when you don’t know what we want?” Xena said curiously.

 

“Because this isn’t a normal caravan,” Achilles answered.

“This is a Lost Property caravan.”

 

“A lost property caravan?” Gabrielle echoed.

“What in Tartarus do you sell?”

“Sell – none,” Hector explained.

“But we have everything that was ever lost by someone, & if we find them we offer it back to them. Not everything, because some things you definitely wouldn’t want.”

 

“Everything?” Gabrielle said again.

 

“Everything,” George said firmly.

 

“What sort of thing wouldn’t we want?” Xena asked.

 

“Take your pick,” Ajax said.

“A filthy headband, a threadbare pair of knickers, dropped bread crusts, a worn out whetstone, a worn out quill, tattered saddle, a dried up piece of soap – “

 

“Okay, okay, we get the point,” Xena interrupted.

 

“So what *do* you have?” Gabrielle enquired.

 

“This is yours,” Ajax said, retrieving a large wooden box from his cart & tipping out the contents on the ground before the pair.

“But beware, some things are not what they appear.”

 

With this curious advice ringing in their ears, the bard & the warrior peered at what lay before them:

A clay model of a reptile, a wooden ball, a loaf of bread, a length of string attached to a piece of leather & a small blank piece of cotton material within a frame. The two women crouched on their haunches, picking through the medley of mystery items.

 

“Well, that one’s easy enough,” Xena said confidently, pointing to the leather & string item.

“That’s my whip.”

 

So indeed it was, as it transformed into the familiar grip & leather strap Xena knew so well. She gave it a toss of the wrist, getting the feel of it once again. The extended cord still felt as pliable as ever, & she reached back behind her to let rip. Gabrielle blocked her ears in expectation.

 

Cr-r-r-ack!

 

“Damn, that feels good!” Xena exclaimed happily as the sound reverberated around the caravan.

“Must be a good few yew years back now, I can’t even think where I lost her. Always gave me extra options in a fight.”

 

“It’s *loud* too,” Gabrielle called out, her hands still covering her ears.

 

Xena gave her an amused look, but deigned to coil it up on the hook she still had on her belt for it & sat down again.

 

“Okay, your turn Gabrielle,” she said.

 

“I’ve got another,” the bard exclaimed.

“That clay figure of a frog, I think that’s my ink pot I just lost. I bet it landed on the frog in the well or something. The model’s got a large black marking on it as if it had an ink spill on it.”

 

Gabrielle’s ink pot appeared as if by magic. She lifted it up, seeing how much ink was left in it & was relieved to see there was more than enough left. The urge to see to her scroll was strong, but so was the curiosity as to what the other objects were. In the end, curiosity won out, so she secreted the precious container back in her scroll bag. Picking the bread up, the blonde sniffed it, before breaking a piece off & passing the loaf to her friend who shrugged in response.

 

“Hmm, fresh nutbread,” Gabrielle mused.

“Tastes nice, can’t think of what it might be though.”

 

“Nutbread, huh?” Xena said, then grinned broadly.

“Conducted any rock choirs lately?”

 

“Gods, don’t remind me,” Gabrielle grimaced, holding her head in her hands.

“That wasn’t my finest hour.”

 

She suddenly turned to Xena in triumph, her eyes shining.

 

“It’s my scroll of ‘Altared States’! I lost that in
ooo 
when was it? The tsunami, I think, when we barely survived on the high seas. I remember searching for it for an eternity after we scrambled to the shore, but I thought it had been lost forever.”

 

She picked up the scroll, carefully returning it to her bag hanging on her shoulder.

 

“My turn again, I guess,” Xena said, stroking her chin thoughtfully, looking over the ball & picture frame.

 

She dropped the ball onto the ground & it bounced up obligingly back into her hand. The picture with no image drew a blank, but when she drew it closer, there was the faintest of letters that were visible.

 

‘Guilt’

 

Guilt? What could guilt have to do with a picture? Guilt
guilt
guilt?

 

A forefinger tapped her upper lip as the Warrior Princess puzzled over the odd picture. She rubbed her chest absent-mindedly as she pondered the answer, then looked down at where she’d been rubbing.

 

On her heart. 

 

‘Lyceus’ she whispered, & she held within her hand instead a small frameless picture of her younger brother.

 

She held it close to her with feeling, then showed it to Gabrielle.

 

“Lyceus,” Gabrielle nodded.

“How long?”

 

“Too long,” Xena sighed.

“Comforting to have his picture back again though.”

 

“What’s the ball, do you think?” Gabrielle asked, after Xena had placed her picture safely within her person.

 

“No idea,” Xena shrugged.

“Must mean something. Hey, Ajax - “

 

She looked up to ask the driver something, but the convoy had gone - the wheeltracks leading off in another direction – whilst they’d been looking over the treasure trove.

 

“Wonder who they were?” Gabrielle said, scrambling to her feet.

 

“No idea, but whoever they were, they did us a good turn,” Xena said, doing likewise.

“Can’t say I’m not grateful.”

 

“That’s for sure,” her friend agreed.

“Let’s find the next village & celebrate.”

 

“And in the meantime,” Xena said, re-mounting Argo who’d been waiting patiently.

“We can try to figure out what this ball might mean.”

 

“*You* can work that out,” Gabrielle declared.

“I’m going to read through ‘Altared States’ again.”

 

Xena rolled her eyes, but now Gabrielle had her beloved scroll back again, nothing was going to distract her until she’d read it from beginning to end – possibly several times.The road was quiet with the caravan gone, just the sound of Argo’s hooves walking, the ‘thwap-thwap’ of Xena idly tossing the ball hand-to-hand, & the ‘tap
tap’ of Gabrielle’s staff by her side. With eyes & instincts watching the surroundings as keenly as ever, Xena kept a corner of her mind free to wonder over the mysterious ball. Or at least until something more urgent came up.

 

What could it mean? Frankly, she was at a loss to explain it. It didn’t remind her of anything.

 

She tried bouncing it on the ground whilst mounted & moving, but the ball just hit the ground & came back into her hand. She squinted at it oddly. It shouldn’t be able to bounce that high, even though it was a metaphor & not an actual object. The weight & balance seemed off though, a sort of unnatural spring within it, almost as if
.Naah!

 

She stifled a laugh at the comical thought that had just occurred to her, but the bard was oblivious to such musings. Gabrielle had her head buried in the scroll, almost literally.

 

“Gabrielle, there’s been an earthquake in Potidaea ,” Xena said experimentally.

 

“Hmm?” Gabrielle said distractedly, half-lifting her head to look about.

“Oh, er, lovely. That’s very good.”

 

Xena had the feeling that she didn’t have the blonde’s full attention, which had in any case vanished again. She rolled her eyes again, then smiled nastily. If she was right, she was about to get all of Gabrielle’s attention. There was a slight narrowing of the road ahead of them, where it led uphill on a gradual incline & where was a cluster of rocks on either side. Xena looked at the highway ahead & began to assess angles & ricochets for the desired result, though thankfully not on the grand scale of the never-ending-day. Then she let fly.

 

The ball pinged from her hand, striking the largest rock first, then bouncing off several smaller ones, almost in a zigzag pattern, the slope & then following in a high arc back towards them. Specifically, back towards Gabrielle.

 

“Gabrielle, heads up!” Xena said loudly.

 

“Hmm, what? Oh, right. Catch,” her ally said unenthusiastically, reluctantly putting her scroll under arm to catch the errant sphere.

 

As the wooden ball flew towards the cupped hands, Xena muttered something that Gabrielle couldn’t quite hear.

 

She was fully aware of it a few moments later though when the nondescript ball changed form to someone about to land on top of her. Her eyes widened in shock, & although her instincts weren’t slow, she was caught like a deer in torchlight. And as adaptable as her hands were, they simply weren’t suited to catching a human about to crash-dive onto her.

 

“
.aaargh!” was Joxer’s opening greeting, arms & legs flailing in a vain attempt to stabilise his uncontrolled flight.

 

Needless to say, it didn’t work.

 

He crashed into, & on top of Gabrielle who had the breath knocked out of her as she landed on her back. It became a curious melee of bodies as they both fought & counter-fought to get up from their prone position. Xena did not help, she was having far too much fun watching their predicament.

 

“Gabrielle, I solved the mystery of the ball,” Xena said gleefully, leaning over the side of Argo to peer at the pair on the ground.

 

“Great,” Gabrielle said in an underwhelmed tone.

 

“Didn’t you catch Joxer?”

 

“No.”

 

“Aren’t you pleased we found him?”

 

“Yay.”

 

Joxer’s conversation was somewhat stilled by having his head buried in Gabrielle’s stomach & skirt, though he probably wasn’t complaining much.

 

“I’ll go check out the next village whilst you pick yourselves up. I’m sure you’ve got lots of things to talk about.”

 

The solitary replay was a snort, implying that Gabrielle was not fully looking towards the prospect & would in due course be telling Xena so.

 

Xena, though, was not hanging about to find out & led Argo to a brisk trot uphill to the next hamlet. A broad smile covered her lips as she left her friends behind, picturing the fun conversation that would currently ongoing. Like how he was a metaphor for a ball, or what happens when you eat bad nutbread - because she could just bet that Gabrielle hadn’t passed *that* little gem onto Joxer - & if he even so much as wrinkled her precious recovered scroll, he was going to get soooo much stick from her.

 

Curious how Joxer always manage to add a little bit of chaos into their otherwise ordered lives, but then a little bit of chaos was good for the soul. Kind of like Gabrielle was telling her to smell the flowers, it would be like Joxer telling her to smell Asafoetida
 which was not the most fragrant smell ever.

 

But he was decidedly different. And more importantly, he was their friend.