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  • Category: Joxer
  • Founded: Aug 24, 1998
  • Language: English
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#5925 From: Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...>
Date: Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:18 am
Subject: Lyrics Challenge: Crying
jazzpaw101
Send Email Send Email
 

Roy Orbison – Crying


I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say "Hello"
Aw you wished me well, you couldn't tell

That I'd been crying over you, crying over you
Then you said "so long". left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying

I thought that I was over you but it's true, so true
I love you even more than I did before but darling what can I do
For you don't love me and I'll always be

Crying over you, crying over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying
Yeah crying, crying, over you


Thanks to Susie Owens for the lyrics


Continuity: 5th season, probably about a month after the events chronicled in "Chakram", but TLFENH prevails in my personal timeline, so there, :P. TPTB can suck it.


Submitted for the June, 2012 GJRS Lyrics Challenge


Archives: GJRS, JFFG - anybody else crazy enough to want this, please ask.


By: Sandy Fiebranz


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


"There are easier ways to torture yourself, you know."


Joxer looked up from what he was doing, frowning slightly. "Huh?"


Gabrielle made a motion at her face, wrinkling her nose as she did so. "The way you keep crying, you'll end up making this the saltiest tasting stew ever," she said.


Joxer chuckled at that as he turned back to the task at hand. "The spring onions are what make it taste so good, though." He continued chopping the offending material with an ease that he did not have while handling a sword, only to stiffen up in surprise when Gabrielle reached out and put her hand over his. He raised his head and sniffled. "What?" He put his knife aside as he blinked hard to focus on her face.


Gabrielle stared up at him with a troubled expression on her face. "I…" She hesitated for a moment before continuing with a soft, "I never thanked you…"


"Thanked me for what?"


Gabrielle caught the bottom of her lip with her teeth, biting briefly and then licking them. "For coming to find us and taking us down from the crosses… " she explained hesitantly, watching him warily for any signs of puffing up at her words.


Joxer surprised her by taking up his knife and starting to slice the onions again. "That's what friends are for, right?"


Gabrielle blinked and then smiled slightly. "Yeah," she agreed. She continued watching him for a little while before saying, "Joxer?"


"Uh huh?" This time he didn't look up, as he changed from slicing the onions to dicing them in perfectly shaped squares for sautéing.


"About what you said… During the fight…"


This time, Joxer did look up, his eyes reddened by the onion-induced tears, to gaze at the uncomfortable-looking bard. "I said, 'No strings,' right?"


"Yeah, but…" Gabrielle's voice trailed off and she frowned, unsure of what to say next.


Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments before Joxer broke it by saying, "Can you do me a favor? I left my cooking herb pouch in my pack..."


Gabrielle straightened up abruptly. "Sure! No problem!" She turned on her heel and headed for the opposite side of camp towards the packs, mumbling inaudibly under her breath.


Joxer watched her move away before turning back to dicing the onions, taking extra time to make sure that his cuts were even, not noticing the tears still streaming down his face in torrents.


FIN

 

 

 


#5926 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:26 pm
Subject: Re: Lyrics Challenge: Crying
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 
I enjoy this Sandy. You did a great job
 
Susie

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Mon, 6/11/12, Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...> wrote:

From: Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge: Crying
To: GJRS@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:18 AM

 

Roy Orbison – Crying


I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say "Hello"
Aw you wished me well, you couldn't tell

That I'd been crying over you, crying over you
Then you said "so long". left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying

I thought that I was over you but it's true, so true
I love you even more than I did before but darling what can I do
For you don't love me and I'll always be

Crying over you, crying over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying
Yeah crying, crying, over you


Thanks to Susie Owens for the lyrics


Continuity: 5th season, probably about a month after the events chronicled in "Chakram", but TLFENH prevails in my personal timeline, so there, :P. TPTB can suck it.


Submitted for the June, 2012 GJRS Lyrics Challenge


Archives: GJRS, JFFG - anybody else crazy enough to want this, please ask.


By: Sandy Fiebranz


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


"There are easier ways to torture yourself, you know."


Joxer looked up from what he was doing, frowning slightly. "Huh?"


Gabrielle made a motion at her face, wrinkling her nose as she did so. "The way you keep crying, you'll end up making this the saltiest tasting stew ever," she said.


Joxer chuckled at that as he turned back to the task at hand. "The spring onions are what make it taste so good, though." He continued chopping the offending material with an ease that he did not have while handling a sword, only to stiffen up in surprise when Gabrielle reached out and put her hand over his. He raised his head and sniffled. "What?" He put his knife aside as he blinked hard to focus on her face.


Gabrielle stared up at him with a troubled expression on her face. "I
" She hesitated for a moment before continuing with a soft, "I never thanked you
"


"Thanked me for what?"


Gabrielle caught the bottom of her lip with her teeth, biting briefly and then licking them. "For coming to find us and taking us down from the crosses
 " she explained hesitantly, watching him warily for any signs of puffing up at her words.


Joxer surprised her by taking up his knife and starting to slice the onions again. "That's what friends are for, right?"


Gabrielle blinked and then smiled slightly. "Yeah," she agreed. She continued watching him for a little while before saying, "Joxer?"


"Uh huh?" This time he didn't look up, as he changed from slicing the onions to dicing them in perfectly shaped squares for sautéing.


"About what you said
 During the fight
"


This time, Joxer did look up, his eyes reddened by the onion-induced tears, to gaze at the uncomfortable-looking bard. "I said, 'No strings,' right?"


"Yeah, but
" Gabrielle's voice trailed off and she frowned, unsure of what to say next.


Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments before Joxer broke it by saying, "Can you do me a favor? I left my cooking herb pouch in my pack..."


Gabrielle straightened up abruptly. "Sure! No problem!" She turned on her heel and headed for the opposite side of camp towards the packs, mumbling inaudibly under her breath.


Joxer watched her move away before turning back to dicing the onions, taking extra time to make sure that his cuts were even, not noticing the tears still streaming down his face in torrents.


FIN

 

 

 


#5927 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:36 pm
Subject: Lyrics Challenge:Secert
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 


Lyrics Challenge

Title:  Secret

Author: Susie Owens

Rated: PG

Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics

Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds”

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985

I got a secret and I can’t explain
All the time, I’ve waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you’d better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love

Everyday you’re always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it’s worth my while
And then I look around and you’re not there
And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware

This is all, this is all


I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

 

As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day.

The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off.

You heard a message and the message was clear.

As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t.

Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while

He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.

 

“We’re ready to go. You ready?”

He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her.

“I’m ready let’s go.”

She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears.

“Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.”

Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed.

And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.

 

Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend.

“Is everything okay now?”

 

Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”

 

Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them..



I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.

 

The End


#5928 From: Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...>
Date: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:18 am
Subject: Re: Lyrics Challenge: Crying
jazzpaw101
Send Email Send Email
 
Thank you, ladies!

Sandy

On Mon, Jun 11, 2012 at 7:26 PM, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote:
 

I enjoy this Sandy. You did a great job
 
Susie

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)


--- On Mon, 6/11/12, Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...> wrote:

From: Sandy Fiebranz <sfiebranz01@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge: Crying

To: GJRS@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:18 AM

 

Roy Orbison – Crying


I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say "Hello"
Aw you wished me well, you couldn't tell

That I'd been crying over you, crying over you
Then you said "so long". left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying

I thought that I was over you but it's true, so true
I love you even more than I did before but darling what can I do
For you don't love me and I'll always be

Crying over you, crying over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying
Yeah crying, crying, over you


Thanks to Susie Owens for the lyrics


Continuity: 5th season, probably about a month after the events chronicled in "Chakram", but TLFENH prevails in my personal timeline, so there, :P. TPTB can suck it.


Submitted for the June, 2012 GJRS Lyrics Challenge


Archives: GJRS, JFFG - anybody else crazy enough to want this, please ask.


By: Sandy Fiebranz


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


"There are easier ways to torture yourself, you know."


Joxer looked up from what he was doing, frowning slightly. "Huh?"


Gabrielle made a motion at her face, wrinkling her nose as she did so. "The way you keep crying, you'll end up making this the saltiest tasting stew ever," she said.


Joxer chuckled at that as he turned back to the task at hand. "The spring onions are what make it taste so good, though." He continued chopping the offending material with an ease that he did not have while handling a sword, only to stiffen up in surprise when Gabrielle reached out and put her hand over his. He raised his head and sniffled. "What?" He put his knife aside as he blinked hard to focus on her face.


Gabrielle stared up at him with a troubled expression on her face. "I…" She hesitated for a moment before continuing with a soft, "I never thanked you…"


"Thanked me for what?"


Gabrielle caught the bottom of her lip with her teeth, biting briefly and then licking them. "For coming to find us and taking us down from the crosses… " she explained hesitantly, watching him warily for any signs of puffing up at her words.


Joxer surprised her by taking up his knife and starting to slice the onions again. "That's what friends are for, right?"


Gabrielle blinked and then smiled slightly. "Yeah," she agreed. She continued watching him for a little while before saying, "Joxer?"


"Uh huh?" This time he didn't look up, as he changed from slicing the onions to dicing them in perfectly shaped squares for sautéing.


"About what you said… During the fight…"


This time, Joxer did look up, his eyes reddened by the onion-induced tears, to gaze at the uncomfortable-looking bard. "I said, 'No strings,' right?"


"Yeah, but…" Gabrielle's voice trailed off and she frowned, unsure of what to say next.


Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments before Joxer broke it by saying, "Can you do me a favor? I left my cooking herb pouch in my pack..."


Gabrielle straightened up abruptly. "Sure! No problem!" She turned on her heel and headed for the opposite side of camp towards the packs, mumbling inaudibly under her breath.


Joxer watched her move away before turning back to dicing the onions, taking extra time to make sure that his cuts were even, not noticing the tears still streaming down his face in torrents.


FIN

 

 

 



#5929 From: Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...>
Date: Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:08 pm
Subject: Re: Lyrics Challenge:Secert
esbeckras
Send Email Send Email
 
Lovely work and very well-matched to the lyrics. :)  I didn't listen to the song so I don't know about the tone, but it works perfectly in my head!  Poor Joxer.  And really, poor Gabrielle too... it's not easy to be in her shoes either.
 
Thanks for participating in the challenge, Susie!
 
R.

--- On Mon, 6/11/12, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote:

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:36 PM





Lyrics Challenge

Title:  Secret

Author: Susie Owens

Rated: PG

Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics

Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds”

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985

I got a secret and I can’t explain
All the time, I’ve waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you’d better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love

Everyday you’re always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it’s worth my while
And then I look around and you’re not there
And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware

This is all, this is all


I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

 

As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day.

The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off.

You heard a message and the message was clear.

As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t.

Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while

He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.

 

“We’re ready to go. You ready?”

He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her.

“I’m ready let’s go.”

She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears.

“Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.”

Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed.

And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.

 

Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend.

“Is everything okay now?”

 

Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”

 

Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them..



I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.

 

The End




#5930 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:41 pm
Subject: Re: Lyrics Challenge:Secert
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 
Thank you Rebecca
 
I am glad you like it

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Wed, 6/13/12, Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...> wrote:

From: Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, June 13, 2012, 10:08 AM

 
Lovely work and very well-matched to the lyrics. :)  I didn't listen to the song so I don't know about the tone, but it works perfectly in my head!  Poor Joxer.  And really, poor Gabrielle too... it's not easy to be in her shoes either.
 
Thanks for participating in the challenge, Susie!
 
R.

--- On Mon, 6/11/12, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote:

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyrics Challenge:Secert
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, June 11, 2012, 7:36 PM





Lyrics Challenge

Title:  Secret

Author: Susie Owens

Rated: PG

Thank you Jerry Hendy for the lyrics

Author’s Note : Thoughts from  â€œComedy of Eros”, “Fallen Angel “ and  â€œEternal Bonds”

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - "Secret" 1985

I got a secret and I can’t explain
All the time, I’ve waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you’d better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love

Everyday you’re always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it’s worth my while
And then I look around and you’re not there
And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware

This is all, this is all


I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

 

As he sat alone in the tavern he thought back the last three years with them, no with her. He remembered when he had fallen in love with her thinking she had felt the same way only to have his heart broken when she had only been under Cupid’s spell thanks to his son.  She never knew how he felt.  She thought it was a joke that they could be in love. I got a secret and I can’t explain,  all the time, I’ve waited for this day.

The day finally came, he sighed when he about the day he told her how he felt and told her no pressure, yeah right maybe not for her but it was pressure for him. He wanted her to say he loved him too but she was too wrap up with what was happening to Xena. Darn my timing is always off.

You heard a message and the message was clear.

As he took another sip of his drink he thought of yesterday, the day he almost died. It was then he ask her why she didn’t love him. Her answer was just like her she didn’t know why that she wish she did. He wonder did she mean that she wish she loved him or she wish she knew why she didn’t.

Every day you’re always there you comfort me and make me feel it’s worth my while

He remembered that even though she wanted to be with Xena  she stay with him and when he got worst she comfort him like a good friend would. Yes she was his good friend and he loves her and he always would.

 

“We’re ready to go. You ready?”

He looked up at her his Gabrielle standing there waiting . He gets up and walks over to her.

“I’m ready let’s go.”

She grab his arms he looks. Her eyes arfe shining with a small amount of tears.

“Joxer, about yesterday. I hope you know I care for you.”

Joxer nodded.. Then walk out and she followed.

And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware.

 

Xena was waiting for them outside and together she and Gabrielle headed down the road,  Joxer walk a little behind them staring down at the road. Xena looked at her friend.

“Is everything okay now?”

 

Gabrielle shook her head  “not by a long shot and I don’t think it ever will be.”

 

Joxer heard her words and sighed as he followed them..



I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain All I want is to hold your hand.

 

The End




#5931 From: Nancy <nacey@...>
Date: Fri Jun 15, 2012 4:45 am
Subject: Just FYI: Been busy with art
cinnamon_cru...
Send Email Send Email
 
Hey all,

I'm not gone, I'm just horrifically busy painting and drawing some
commissions and getting some painterly sketches done for an exhibition.
When that's done I can dive back into writing for a while.  :)

Hugs
N

#5932 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:34 pm
Subject: Works In Progress
adobe_lan
Send Email Send Email
 
Criminey, you guys, I had a plotbunny on the way to work and I thought "Like I
don't already have enough WIPs" so I made a list to keep track of all the XWP
fics I am working on or want to work on.  And counting the Pillow Talk ones
there are like 26!!  Granted, some are ones I may never start and a few go back
as far as 1999, but still, I'd *like* to do them someday...  Guess I'm aiming
high :P

I didn't even count the fact that I'd like to do a quick ficlet for every
episode in season 5. Another pipe dream but I do have an idea for "Animal
Attraction" and one for "Purity" even though I haven't rewatched it yet... ^^; 
So that's another 19 right there - GAH!

...Just sharing... ^^;  I'd be willing to send out the list if anyone wants to
see it and laugh at me. XD

R.

#5933 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:15 pm
Subject: FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
adobe_lan
Send Email Send Email
 
Lyric Challenge: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Lyrics from Sandy
Rating: G/PG?
Timeline: Alternate TLFENH; pretty much covered in the fic.
Spoilers: Season five, mostly
Notes: I had a really interesting and detailed idea come to me on this, and it
was too long and detailed for a lyric challenge.  So I kept writing things and
then taking them out, but I saved them and I'm going to eventually develop the
idea I had (minus a few of the elements in this) in a different fic, maybe. 
It's just an alternate to "Looking Death in the Eye"; I've written a bunch of
TLFENH fics that don't make a lot of sense because they overlook the fact that
every Greek God around wanted Eve dead to avoid the Twilight, but I've never
actually acknowledged that.  So here, and even further in the one I haven't
written yet, I thought I'd actually bother to address it. :)

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
by Jack Johnson / Album: In Between Dreams

I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you would see the signs
But lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody
Don’t make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

I sang your songs I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn’t worth never having you
Maybe you’ve been through this before
But it’s my first time so please ignore
The next few lines because they’re directed at you
I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
I can’t always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it’s not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I’ve had enough mystery
You keep building it up
But then you’re shooting me down
But I’m already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well if I was in your position
I’d put down all my ammunition
I’d wonder why it had taken me so long
But lord knows that I’m not you
And if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel
Because waiting on love
Ain’t so easy to do
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?






It had taken her four years just to reach "maybe".

That was three years of him being in love with her before she knew, then another
year plus a few months after he told her, and in her defense there was a *lot*
happening that year.  What with the whole baby/Twilight/Battle of the
Bands/poisoning/Amazons thing and all.

Plus everybody kept dying, so it really was hard to get *anything* done.  Joxer
himself had felt like it was a huge accomplishment just to blurt out what *he*
felt, in the middle of everything else, and it had hardly calmed down after
that.  No, he'd come to terms with how long it had taken.  Heck, he'd thought he
was lucky to get "maybe".  It hadn't been "maybe" at first, after all.  The
first answer was "Not a chance in Tartarus", followed a few months later by "I
love you as a friend".

So after all that, "maybe" was ... pretty good, actually.  Or so it had felt at
the time.

Joxer sat on the dock and tossed breadcrumbs into the water, waiting on the boat
that was bringing Xena and Gabrielle back from Rome.  He was always waiting.

He spent a lot of time doing this particular sort of waiting, ever since they'd
successfully smuggled Eve out of Greece.  He didn't usually go with them when
they visited Rome because someone had to keep an ear out for anyone mentioning
Xena's name, or Eve's, or mentioning the Twilight or anything; and Joxer was
better at blending in and eavesdropping than he was at defending his own life or
anyone else's, so he got to be the "point man" while they went to play with the
baby.  Which was kind of not great.

The thing was, he always knew when they were coming back.  They never told him,
but he was always at the docks waiting the day they arrived.  He knew, every
single time.  He'd greet them with hugs, offer to carry their bags (Gabrielle
always let him, Xena never did), take them home and make them dinner, and wait
for even just one of them to ask how he always knew.  They never did.  They must
have thought he just waited at the docks for them every day while they were
gone, or something.

It was, he would tell them if they ever asked, because he had always been able
to tell where they were.  Not in some specific mind-reading kind of way, just a
general wiggly feeling at the back of his head that had used to say to him "go
this way!" when they were just wandering around Greece, back in the old days. 
Now, on the morning of whatever day they'd return, he'd wake up with a vague
feeling that he needed to go to the docks.  Simple as that.

It felt so natural that he'd taken years to realize it was there.  In the old
days he'd always been keeping an eye out for them, so he was bound to run into
them sooner or later; he never thought twice about it.  It wasn't until he'd met
them at the docks, unfailingly, three times in a row that he'd realized it was
more than that.

He wished Gabrielle would ask about it.  He had no idea how to bring it up
himself, and he'd sort of like to know if she felt it about him, too.  Or Xena. 
Mainly Gabrielle, though.  And maybe it was important.  Maybe it was the kind of
thing that meant something, somehow, like those things between Gabrielle and
Xena always did.  Nobody ever asked him, that was the thing.

Joxer ran out of breadcrumbs, so he pulled his legs in and crossed them, staring
out over the water without seeing.  It was a bad idea to get too focused on the
water.  He'd gotten more than one bad sunburn by spending a good hour staring
off to sea.

The first couple of months after Eve was gone had been hard on all of them. 
Xena had withdrawn for a while and Gabrielle had taken it very personally, first
sulking quietly and orbiting Xena without ever connecting with her, and then
turning to Joxer.  As she and Xena had distanced from one another, she and Joxer
had begun to spend more and more time together; initially it had been recruiting
him as a shopping partner, and progressed to idle time spent together throughout
the days.  Eventually she was taking him on hikes and day trips, and overtly not
talking about Xena.

It was great; if not for Xena's absence, and Eve being gone, it would have been
ideal.  But he felt like those things were temporary, and he wouldn't trade this
time with Gabrielle for them just yet.

The last of the day trips had thrown him for a loop.

Gabrielle had taken him hiking up into the mountains, and they'd made it about
halfway up the side before he called a break.  She'd sat next to him, peering
out onto the landscape below, while he recounted this dream he'd had the night
before that he'd thought at the time was particularly hilarious, but was getting
no reaction from her and he'd been starting to realize that it was actually not
hilarious at all when you tried to tell it to someone out loud; and then
Gabrielle had looked up at him, her green eyes shining, and taken his hand.

"Oh.  Hi," he'd said, wondering if maybe he was in fact funnier than he'd
thought he was.

She'd nodded, smiling quietly as if amused by this reaction.  "Hi," she'd
answered, and made a joke out of it.  "Nice to see you again."

"Always a pleasure."

Gabrielle had seemed to go a bit vague after that, her gaze falling and going
back and forth between his hand, and the landscape; and he'd watched her in the
silence as her hair - no longer blonde, she'd darkened it some to be less
recognizable to the Gods - blew in the breeze; then she'd scooted over towards
him, lifting his arm and pulling it around her shoulders before settling against
his chest.  He was, not for the first time, glad he'd been forced to ditch his
armour.

With a sigh, she'd wrapped both arms around his torso and squeezed; and he'd
frozen entirely, because there was no precedent for this, and his brain and
heart were telling him it meant two completely different things.  There was no
good way to react.

So he'd been honest in his reaction, which was to say, "What, what's... what is
this?"

Her reaction hadn't been what he'd wanted.  "I don't know," she'd murmured.

"Gabby..."  He put his hands on her shoulders, held them for a second, then
pulled her off of him.  "Just - can you maybe... not not know?  Or at least,
sort of know... something?"

She'd looked at her lap, biting her lip a little, then back up at him. 
"Joxer... um... I'm not sure what exactly I..."  She'd sighed and sat back from
him, running a hand through her hair.  "What I feel.  I said - I know I said...
Oh, I didn't want to have this conversation yet, until I figured this out a
little more..."

"Figured *what* out?"

"Look, I..."  Clearly increasingly uncomfortable, she'd clasped her arms with
her hands and looked back out over the landscape.  "I don't want to - to promise
anything, Joxer.  I *can't* promise anything, so... so can we not talk about
this now?"

"Hoooooold it, hold it.  Are you saying-"  He'd leaned forward, and she'd
sighed.  "Are you saying that you - you have feelings for me?"  She didn't
respond, so he'd prompted her.  "Like more than as a friend feelings?  Like-"

"I don't *know*, Joxer.  Can you listen to me right now?  I don't *know*."  In a
smaller voice, she'd added, "Maybe."

Maybe.  It was the sweetest word in the Greek language.  Maybe...

"I'll take maybe," he'd said, directing it out to the view, to all of Greece.

There'd been very, very little discussion on the topic since then.  She'd said
she needed time to know what she felt, but that she'd really enjoyed the time
they'd been spending together. He'd said she could take whatever time she needed
and he'd wait.

And then Xena had come back to life - not in the literal sense this time, but
she'd started talking again, planning the first visit to see Eve.  She and
Gabrielle had gone together and apparently they'd repaired their relationship
during the trip, and when they'd returned everything was normal for them again
and Joxer had had a Gabrielle-shaped hole in his life.

And now everything was normal, more or less, except that Joxer was still
waiting; even when they were back in Greece, he was waiting for Gabrielle to
mention it again.  Months, it had been now, with him saying nothing at all about
her feelings or their relationship, too chicken to ask if it was any
relationship at all, waiting for them at the docks and staying at their sides
when he was allowed to.

A dot on the horizon shimmered, then solidified, and he stood up and stretched
his legs.  From the distance he judged they'd be docking in perhaps 30 minutes,
so he'd have time to take a quick walk around and make it back in time to meet
them.  While he walked he planned what he was going to say to Gabrielle this
time.  This couldn't go on any further; he had to stand up for himself and say
something.  She'd said she wouldn't promise anything, but she had, hadn't she? 
She'd promised that she'd *talk* to him, and so far she hadn't.

After everything he'd done, for all these months, these years; especially this
past year, he'd done everything they'd ever asked, he'd even gone and tried to
be respectful to her Amazons, in spite of how much they'd openly disliked him,
and this was what he got for it.  Did she even know he was still waiting, or was
he expected to have given up when Xena came back?  Did she care at all?

When he got back to the docks, the boat was pulling in.  He searched the ship's
deck for a sign of them - it was harder now that Gabby's hair was darker and
Xena was usually wearing hers tied up - and finally saw them.  He waved, and
Gabrielle waved back; he wasn't sure if Xena saw him, but she'd never been as
expressive as the bard.

Once they'd disembarked, hugged, and he'd taken Gabrielle's bags while Xena had
shouldered all of her own, he said, "So how was she?"

"Bigger," Xena said quietly, smiling softly with a reflective expression.  She
was almost always quiet and a little maudlin for a few days when she got back
from seeing Eve.

Gabrielle put her arm on Xena's shoulder, and turned her face to Joxer.  "I'll
fill you in after dinner.  How was everything here?"

"Oh, you know.  Same as ever.  Boring."  He tried again to put together a speech
in his head, something for after dinner.  *If I were you, I'd take a good long
look at this situation and I'd wonder why it's taken me so long...*  Didn't
sound right.  He'd keep working on it.

Now she smiled at him.  "So what do you do, wait at the docks the entire time
we're gone so that you can be sure to meet us?"

His heartbeat sped up.  "Uh, no.  No, I do a lot of stuff, I usually - you can
ask anyone, I go all over the place..."

Still smiling, Gabrielle lifted her other arm and placed it around his shoulder,
patting him on the back.  "Ah.  So then you just know when we're coming," she
said, and it wasn't a question.  He tried to scan it for sarcasm and didn't find
any, though he would admit that he was really good at missing it.

Xena perked up a little after dinner, but she took Argo out on a long ride to go
over her thoughts, and Gabrielle and Joxer chatted.  There were a million
anecdoates - Eve's first birthday was coming up, she was standing up, she had
*teeth*.  Not just a tooth but a whole bunch.

"She was biting everything in sight," Gabrielle said as she buffed the dishes
that Joxer had just washed.  "Honestly, I'm surprised I made it back with all my
fingers."

"Next time you guys go, she'll probably be taking down armies.  Like her Mom."

"With her teeth?"  Gabrielle sounded amused.

"Biting ankles... Going for knees..."  He got her giggling.  "Then when they're
on the ground she can do the pinch on 'em and they're out for the count."  She
laughed louder and finished stacking the dishes, then put them away.  When she
was done, he cleared his throat. "Uh, so... Gabrielle, I've, uh... I've been
thinking..."

"Oh, Joxer, you shouldn't strain yourself," she said good-humouredly.

From her tone he could tell he was supposed to bite back, but the timing wasn't
right for that.  "Yeah, uh, I'm serious right now."  She sat up, looking
apologetic, and folded her hands in her lap.  "Well... ahem... a-a little while
ago... We were, uh, talking..."  Gabrielle seemed to realize what he was getting
at.  She lowered her eyes and looked intently at her hands.

There was something in her embarrassment that set him off.  He realized that
he'd been hoping she had just forgotten, or not realized that so much time had
passed, but from this reaction it was clear that she was well aware she'd let
him down and she was feeling caught.  Her guilt spurred him to spill it out. 
"Look, Gabby, it's been months.  And, and, well - what is it?  I mean, if it's
no, just tell me.  Just *tell* me and I can take it, y'know?  I wouldn't even be
here if I couldn't take it, 'cause you've already told me that a bunch of times.
But you haven't told me *anything*, and Gabby... I can't always be waiting on
you."

She clutched her hands together in silence for a moment, twirling her thumbs
around one another, and then lifted her eyes.  She opened her mouth, and he
waited for her to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat; then she came
to her knees and leaned forward towards him.  "I'm sorry," she said, and he was
going to answer, he was going to stand his ground and say that sorry wasn't the
same thing as yes or no, but a moment later, her lips were on his in a brief,
gentle caress.

"W-well," he stammered, his head spinning, "y'know, that's okay, these things
happen... I mean, well, y'know..."

"Joxer," she said quietly, her hand still at his cheek.  "I'm sorry, because -
because it has been too long.  And I... I need you to wait a little longer."

He didn't have an answer to that.

"It's been so... so different. I miss everything, everyone we knew. I miss Eve. 
I miss *Xena*.  And I need... I need things to be... more the way they were,
before I can answer.  So that I know I'm not... not just..."

"Using me as a replacement for them?"

She lowered her eyes and nodded.  "I know I haven't been... we were spending a
lot of time together for a while, and we haven't been, but - Xena needs me right
now, and I have to be there for her.  But I haven't forgotten.  I swear. 
There's just not... the right time, right now."

He let out a big sigh.  "Okay, but... what if there's never a right time? 
Gabrielle, I feel like I don't know where I am anymore.  I don't know where we
stand and I don't know what to..."

"I know."  She slid her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.  "I'm
sorry. But it's not forever, I promise.  Eve's first birthday is coming up," she
said again, "and... and I've been working for a long time now on getting Xena to
agree to take her back.  We've been safe here, lying low, so I think if we go
get her and stay out of Greece we'll be okay.  I mean... if you want to come
with us..."  She lifted her head and looked at him uncertainly.

"Well, *duh*," he answered, and she smiled.

"After the birthday.  Okay?  Please?"

Well, what else could he say to that?  "Yeah, okay."  He returned her smile, and
Gabrielle patted his cheek and slid away from him.

And he was waiting again, trying to tell himself it was different now that he
had an end date, but he wasn't sure if it was.  But it was worth it, anyway.  It
was worth it.

***End***


Notes the Second: I *really* like these lyrics and I don't think I quite did
them justice here, but I have an aversion to following a song as a plot outline.
This one skirts the line some, I tried to keep the same theme throughout it,
anyway.  The portion about Joxer knowing where they are is intended to go with
the line about wishing you believed in superstitions, maybe then you'd see the
signs... I felt like it was underacknowledged that Joxer was clearly tied to
both Xena and Gab in a spiritual way, so I played up a sort of theory I'd had
for a while, and poked at Gabrielle to notice it.
Disclaimer: Song lyrics are (C) Jack Johnson.  Characters are (c) RenPics.

#5934 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:48 pm
Subject: Re: FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 
I enjoy reading this and for the record I think you did good with the lyrics


Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Sun, 6/17/12, Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...> wrote:

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 10:15 AM

 
Lyric Challenge: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Lyrics from Sandy
Rating: G/PG?
Timeline: Alternate TLFENH; pretty much covered in the fic.
Spoilers: Season five, mostly
Notes: I had a really interesting and detailed idea come to me on this, and it was too long and detailed for a lyric challenge. So I kept writing things and then taking them out, but I saved them and I'm going to eventually develop the idea I had (minus a few of the elements in this) in a different fic, maybe. It's just an alternate to "Looking Death in the Eye"; I've written a bunch of TLFENH fics that don't make a lot of sense because they overlook the fact that every Greek God around wanted Eve dead to avoid the Twilight, but I've never actually acknowledged that. So here, and even further in the one I haven't written yet, I thought I'd actually bother to address it. :)

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
by Jack Johnson / Album: In Between Dreams

I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you would see the signs
But lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody
Don’t make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

I sang your songs I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn’t worth never having you
Maybe you’ve been through this before
But it’s my first time so please ignore
The next few lines because they’re directed at you
I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
I can’t always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it’s not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I’ve had enough mystery
You keep building it up
But then you’re shooting me down
But I’m already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well if I was in your position
I’d put down all my ammunition
I’d wonder why it had taken me so long
But lord knows that I’m not you
And if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel
Because waiting on love
Ain’t so easy to do
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

It had taken her four years just to reach "maybe".

That was three years of him being in love with her before she knew, then another year plus a few months after he told her, and in her defense there was a *lot* happening that year. What with the whole baby/Twilight/Battle of the Bands/poisoning/Amazons thing and all.

Plus everybody kept dying, so it really was hard to get *anything* done. Joxer himself had felt like it was a huge accomplishment just to blurt out what *he* felt, in the middle of everything else, and it had hardly calmed down after that. No, he'd come to terms with how long it had taken. Heck, he'd thought he was lucky to get "maybe". It hadn't been "maybe" at first, after all. The first answer was "Not a chance in Tartarus", followed a few months later by "I love you as a friend".

So after all that, "maybe" was ... pretty good, actually. Or so it had felt at the time.

Joxer sat on the dock and tossed breadcrumbs into the water, waiting on the boat that was bringing Xena and Gabrielle back from Rome. He was always waiting.

He spent a lot of time doing this particular sort of waiting, ever since they'd successfully smuggled Eve out of Greece. He didn't usually go with them when they visited Rome because someone had to keep an ear out for anyone mentioning Xena's name, or Eve's, or mentioning the Twilight or anything; and Joxer was better at blending in and eavesdropping than he was at defending his own life or anyone else's, so he got to be the "point man" while they went to play with the baby. Which was kind of not great.

The thing was, he always knew when they were coming back. They never told him, but he was always at the docks waiting the day they arrived. He knew, every single time. He'd greet them with hugs, offer to carry their bags (Gabrielle always let him, Xena never did), take them home and make them dinner, and wait for even just one of them to ask how he always knew. They never did. They must have thought he just waited at the docks for them every day while they were gone, or something.

It was, he would tell them if they ever asked, because he had always been able to tell where they were. Not in some specific mind-reading kind of way, just a general wiggly feeling at the back of his head that had used to say to him "go this way!" when they were just wandering around Greece, back in the old days. Now, on the morning of whatever day they'd return, he'd wake up with a vague feeling that he needed to go to the docks. Simple as that.

It felt so natural that he'd taken years to realize it was there. In the old days he'd always been keeping an eye out for them, so he was bound to run into them sooner or later; he never thought twice about it. It wasn't until he'd met them at the docks, unfailingly, three times in a row that he'd realized it was more than that.

He wished Gabrielle would ask about it. He had no idea how to bring it up himself, and he'd sort of like to know if she felt it about him, too. Or Xena. Mainly Gabrielle, though. And maybe it was important. Maybe it was the kind of thing that meant something, somehow, like those things between Gabrielle and Xena always did. Nobody ever asked him, that was the thing.

Joxer ran out of breadcrumbs, so he pulled his legs in and crossed them, staring out over the water without seeing. It was a bad idea to get too focused on the water. He'd gotten more than one bad sunburn by spending a good hour staring off to sea.

The first couple of months after Eve was gone had been hard on all of them. Xena had withdrawn for a while and Gabrielle had taken it very personally, first sulking quietly and orbiting Xena without ever connecting with her, and then turning to Joxer. As she and Xena had distanced from one another, she and Joxer had begun to spend more and more time together; initially it had been recruiting him as a shopping partner, and progressed to idle time spent together throughout the days. Eventually she was taking him on hikes and day trips, and overtly not talking about Xena.

It was great; if not for Xena's absence, and Eve being gone, it would have been ideal. But he felt like those things were temporary, and he wouldn't trade this time with Gabrielle for them just yet.

The last of the day trips had thrown him for a loop.

Gabrielle had taken him hiking up into the mountains, and they'd made it about halfway up the side before he called a break. She'd sat next to him, peering out onto the landscape below, while he recounted this dream he'd had the night before that he'd thought at the time was particularly hilarious, but was getting no reaction from her and he'd been starting to realize that it was actually not hilarious at all when you tried to tell it to someone out loud; and then Gabrielle had looked up at him, her green eyes shining, and taken his hand.

"Oh. Hi," he'd said, wondering if maybe he was in fact funnier than he'd thought he was.

She'd nodded, smiling quietly as if amused by this reaction. "Hi," she'd answered, and made a joke out of it. "Nice to see you again."

"Always a pleasure."

Gabrielle had seemed to go a bit vague after that, her gaze falling and going back and forth between his hand, and the landscape; and he'd watched her in the silence as her hair - no longer blonde, she'd darkened it some to be less recognizable to the Gods - blew in the breeze; then she'd scooted over towards him, lifting his arm and pulling it around her shoulders before settling against his chest. He was, not for the first time, glad he'd been forced to ditch his armour.

With a sigh, she'd wrapped both arms around his torso and squeezed; and he'd frozen entirely, because there was no precedent for this, and his brain and heart were telling him it meant two completely different things. There was no good way to react.

So he'd been honest in his reaction, which was to say, "What, what's... what is this?"

Her reaction hadn't been what he'd wanted. "I don't know," she'd murmured.

"Gabby..." He put his hands on her shoulders, held them for a second, then pulled her off of him. "Just - can you maybe... not not know? Or at least, sort of know... something?"

She'd looked at her lap, biting her lip a little, then back up at him. "Joxer... um... I'm not sure what exactly I..." She'd sighed and sat back from him, running a hand through her hair. "What I feel. I said - I know I said... Oh, I didn't want to have this conversation yet, until I figured this out a little more..."

"Figured *what* out?"

"Look, I..." Clearly increasingly uncomfortable, she'd clasped her arms with her hands and looked back out over the landscape. "I don't want to - to promise anything, Joxer. I *can't* promise anything, so... so can we not talk about this now?"

"Hoooooold it, hold it. Are you saying-" He'd leaned forward, and she'd sighed. "Are you saying that you - you have feelings for me?" She didn't respond, so he'd prompted her. "Like more than as a friend feelings? Like-"

"I don't *know*, Joxer. Can you listen to me right now? I don't *know*." In a smaller voice, she'd added, "Maybe."

Maybe. It was the sweetest word in the Greek language. Maybe...

"I'll take maybe," he'd said, directing it out to the view, to all of Greece.

There'd been very, very little discussion on the topic since then. She'd said she needed time to know what she felt, but that she'd really enjoyed the time they'd been spending together. He'd said she could take whatever time she needed and he'd wait.

And then Xena had come back to life - not in the literal sense this time, but she'd started talking again, planning the first visit to see Eve. She and Gabrielle had gone together and apparently they'd repaired their relationship during the trip, and when they'd returned everything was normal for them again and Joxer had had a Gabrielle-shaped hole in his life.

And now everything was normal, more or less, except that Joxer was still waiting; even when they were back in Greece, he was waiting for Gabrielle to mention it again. Months, it had been now, with him saying nothing at all about her feelings or their relationship, too chicken to ask if it was any relationship at all, waiting for them at the docks and staying at their sides when he was allowed to.

A dot on the horizon shimmered, then solidified, and he stood up and stretched his legs. From the distance he judged they'd be docking in perhaps 30 minutes, so he'd have time to take a quick walk around and make it back in time to meet them. While he walked he planned what he was going to say to Gabrielle this time. This couldn't go on any further; he had to stand up for himself and say something. She'd said she wouldn't promise anything, but she had, hadn't she? She'd promised that she'd *talk* to him, and so far she hadn't.

After everything he'd done, for all these months, these years; especially this past year, he'd done everything they'd ever asked, he'd even gone and tried to be respectful to her Amazons, in spite of how much they'd openly disliked him, and this was what he got for it. Did she even know he was still waiting, or was he expected to have given up when Xena came back? Did she care at all?

When he got back to the docks, the boat was pulling in. He searched the ship's deck for a sign of them - it was harder now that Gabby's hair was darker and Xena was usually wearing hers tied up - and finally saw them. He waved, and Gabrielle waved back; he wasn't sure if Xena saw him, but she'd never been as expressive as the bard.

Once they'd disembarked, hugged, and he'd taken Gabrielle's bags while Xena had shouldered all of her own, he said, "So how was she?"

"Bigger," Xena said quietly, smiling softly with a reflective expression. She was almost always quiet and a little maudlin for a few days when she got back from seeing Eve.

Gabrielle put her arm on Xena's shoulder, and turned her face to Joxer. "I'll fill you in after dinner. How was everything here?"

"Oh, you know. Same as ever. Boring." He tried again to put together a speech in his head, something for after dinner. *If I were you, I'd take a good long look at this situation and I'd wonder why it's taken me so long...* Didn't sound right. He'd keep working on it.

Now she smiled at him. "So what do you do, wait at the docks the entire time we're gone so that you can be sure to meet us?"

His heartbeat sped up. "Uh, no. No, I do a lot of stuff, I usually - you can ask anyone, I go all over the place..."

Still smiling, Gabrielle lifted her other arm and placed it around his shoulder, patting him on the back. "Ah. So then you just know when we're coming," she said, and it wasn't a question. He tried to scan it for sarcasm and didn't find any, though he would admit that he was really good at missing it.

Xena perked up a little after dinner, but she took Argo out on a long ride to go over her thoughts, and Gabrielle and Joxer chatted. There were a million anecdoates - Eve's first birthday was coming up, she was standing up, she had *teeth*. Not just a tooth but a whole bunch.

"She was biting everything in sight," Gabrielle said as she buffed the dishes that Joxer had just washed. "Honestly, I'm surprised I made it back with all my fingers."

"Next time you guys go, she'll probably be taking down armies. Like her Mom."

"With her teeth?" Gabrielle sounded amused.

"Biting ankles... Going for knees..." He got her giggling. "Then when they're on the ground she can do the pinch on 'em and they're out for the count." She laughed louder and finished stacking the dishes, then put them away. When she was done, he cleared his throat. "Uh, so... Gabrielle, I've, uh... I've been thinking..."

"Oh, Joxer, you shouldn't strain yourself," she said good-humouredly.

From her tone he could tell he was supposed to bite back, but the timing wasn't right for that. "Yeah, uh, I'm serious right now." She sat up, looking apologetic, and folded her hands in her lap. "Well... ahem... a-a little while ago... We were, uh, talking..." Gabrielle seemed to realize what he was getting at. She lowered her eyes and looked intently at her hands.

There was something in her embarrassment that set him off. He realized that he'd been hoping she had just forgotten, or not realized that so much time had passed, but from this reaction it was clear that she was well aware she'd let him down and she was feeling caught. Her guilt spurred him to spill it out. "Look, Gabby, it's been months. And, and, well - what is it? I mean, if it's no, just tell me. Just *tell* me and I can take it, y'know? I wouldn't even be here if I couldn't take it, 'cause you've already told me that a bunch of times. But you haven't told me *anything*, and Gabby... I can't always be waiting on you."

She clutched her hands together in silence for a moment, twirling her thumbs around one another, and then lifted her eyes. She opened her mouth, and he waited for her to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat; then she came to her knees and leaned forward towards him. "I'm sorry," she said, and he was going to answer, he was going to stand his ground and say that sorry wasn't the same thing as yes or no, but a moment later, her lips were on his in a brief, gentle caress.

"W-well," he stammered, his head spinning, "y'know, that's okay, these things happen... I mean, well, y'know..."

"Joxer," she said quietly, her hand still at his cheek. "I'm sorry, because - because it has been too long. And I... I need you to wait a little longer."

He didn't have an answer to that.

"It's been so... so different. I miss everything, everyone we knew. I miss Eve. I miss *Xena*. And I need... I need things to be... more the way they were, before I can answer. So that I know I'm not... not just..."

"Using me as a replacement for them?"

She lowered her eyes and nodded. "I know I haven't been... we were spending a lot of time together for a while, and we haven't been, but - Xena needs me right now, and I have to be there for her. But I haven't forgotten. I swear. There's just not... the right time, right now."

He let out a big sigh. "Okay, but... what if there's never a right time? Gabrielle, I feel like I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know where we stand and I don't know what to..."

"I know." She slid her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. But it's not forever, I promise. Eve's first birthday is coming up," she said again, "and... and I've been working for a long time now on getting Xena to agree to take her back. We've been safe here, lying low, so I think if we go get her and stay out of Greece we'll be okay. I mean... if you want to come with us..." She lifted her head and looked at him uncertainly.

"Well, *duh*," he answered, and she smiled.

"After the birthday. Okay? Please?"

Well, what else could he say to that? "Yeah, okay." He returned her smile, and Gabrielle patted his cheek and slid away from him.

And he was waiting again, trying to tell himself it was different now that he had an end date, but he wasn't sure if it was. But it was worth it, anyway. It was worth it.

***End***

Notes the Second: I *really* like these lyrics and I don't think I quite did them justice here, but I have an aversion to following a song as a plot outline. This one skirts the line some, I tried to keep the same theme throughout it, anyway. The portion about Joxer knowing where they are is intended to go with the line about wishing you believed in superstitions, maybe then you'd see the signs... I felt like it was underacknowledged that Joxer was clearly tied to both Xena and Gab in a spiritual way, so I played up a sort of theory I'd had for a while, and poked at Gabrielle to notice it.
Disclaimer: Song lyrics are (C) Jack Johnson. Characters are (c) RenPics.

#5935 From: Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...>
Date: Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:25 pm
Subject: Re: FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
esbeckras
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Thanks so very much, Susie!  I'm glad to hear it. ^_^
 
Rebecca

--- On Sun, 6/17/12, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote:

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 3:48 PM



I enjoy reading this and for the record I think you did good with the lyrics


Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Sun, 6/17/12, Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...> wrote:

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, June 17, 2012, 10:15 AM

 
Lyric Challenge: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Lyrics from Sandy
Rating: G/PG?
Timeline: Alternate TLFENH; pretty much covered in the fic.
Spoilers: Season five, mostly
Notes: I had a really interesting and detailed idea come to me on this, and it was too long and detailed for a lyric challenge. So I kept writing things and then taking them out, but I saved them and I'm going to eventually develop the idea I had (minus a few of the elements in this) in a different fic, maybe. It's just an alternate to "Looking Death in the Eye"; I've written a bunch of TLFENH fics that don't make a lot of sense because they overlook the fact that every Greek God around wanted Eve dead to avoid the Twilight, but I've never actually acknowledged that. So here, and even further in the one I haven't written yet, I thought I'd actually bother to address it. :)

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
by Jack Johnson / Album: In Between Dreams

I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you would see the signs
But lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody
Don’t make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

I sang your songs I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn’t worth never having you
Maybe you’ve been through this before
But it’s my first time so please ignore
The next few lines because they’re directed at you
I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
I can’t always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it’s not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I’ve had enough mystery
You keep building it up
But then you’re shooting me down
But I’m already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well if I was in your position
I’d put down all my ammunition
I’d wonder why it had taken me so long
But lord knows that I’m not you
And if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel
Because waiting on love
Ain’t so easy to do
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool?

It had taken her four years just to reach "maybe".

That was three years of him being in love with her before she knew, then another year plus a few months after he told her, and in her defense there was a *lot* happening that year. What with the whole baby/Twilight/Battle of the Bands/poisoning/Amazons thing and all.

Plus everybody kept dying, so it really was hard to get *anything* done. Joxer himself had felt like it was a huge accomplishment just to blurt out what *he* felt, in the middle of everything else, and it had hardly calmed down after that. No, he'd come to terms with how long it had taken. Heck, he'd thought he was lucky to get "maybe". It hadn't been "maybe" at first, after all. The first answer was "Not a chance in Tartarus", followed a few months later by "I love you as a friend".

So after all that, "maybe" was ... pretty good, actually. Or so it had felt at the time.

Joxer sat on the dock and tossed breadcrumbs into the water, waiting on the boat that was bringing Xena and Gabrielle back from Rome. He was always waiting.

He spent a lot of time doing this particular sort of waiting, ever since they'd successfully smuggled Eve out of Greece. He didn't usually go with them when they visited Rome because someone had to keep an ear out for anyone mentioning Xena's name, or Eve's, or mentioning the Twilight or anything; and Joxer was better at blending in and eavesdropping than he was at defending his own life or anyone else's, so he got to be the "point man" while they went to play with the baby. Which was kind of not great.

The thing was, he always knew when they were coming back. They never told him, but he was always at the docks waiting the day they arrived. He knew, every single time. He'd greet them with hugs, offer to carry their bags (Gabrielle always let him, Xena never did), take them home and make them dinner, and wait for even just one of them to ask how he always knew. They never did. They must have thought he just waited at the docks for them every day while they were gone, or something.

It was, he would tell them if they ever asked, because he had always been able to tell where they were. Not in some specific mind-reading kind of way, just a general wiggly feeling at the back of his head that had used to say to him "go this way!" when they were just wandering around Greece, back in the old days. Now, on the morning of whatever day they'd return, he'd wake up with a vague feeling that he needed to go to the docks. Simple as that.

It felt so natural that he'd taken years to realize it was there. In the old days he'd always been keeping an eye out for them, so he was bound to run into them sooner or later; he never thought twice about it. It wasn't until he'd met them at the docks, unfailingly, three times in a row that he'd realized it was more than that.

He wished Gabrielle would ask about it. He had no idea how to bring it up himself, and he'd sort of like to know if she felt it about him, too. Or Xena. Mainly Gabrielle, though. And maybe it was important. Maybe it was the kind of thing that meant something, somehow, like those things between Gabrielle and Xena always did. Nobody ever asked him, that was the thing.

Joxer ran out of breadcrumbs, so he pulled his legs in and crossed them, staring out over the water without seeing. It was a bad idea to get too focused on the water. He'd gotten more than one bad sunburn by spending a good hour staring off to sea.

The first couple of months after Eve was gone had been hard on all of them. Xena had withdrawn for a while and Gabrielle had taken it very personally, first sulking quietly and orbiting Xena without ever connecting with her, and then turning to Joxer. As she and Xena had distanced from one another, she and Joxer had begun to spend more and more time together; initially it had been recruiting him as a shopping partner, and progressed to idle time spent together throughout the days. Eventually she was taking him on hikes and day trips, and overtly not talking about Xena.

It was great; if not for Xena's absence, and Eve being gone, it would have been ideal. But he felt like those things were temporary, and he wouldn't trade this time with Gabrielle for them just yet.

The last of the day trips had thrown him for a loop.

Gabrielle had taken him hiking up into the mountains, and they'd made it about halfway up the side before he called a break. She'd sat next to him, peering out onto the landscape below, while he recounted this dream he'd had the night before that he'd thought at the time was particularly hilarious, but was getting no reaction from her and he'd been starting to realize that it was actually not hilarious at all when you tried to tell it to someone out loud; and then Gabrielle had looked up at him, her green eyes shining, and taken his hand.

"Oh. Hi," he'd said, wondering if maybe he was in fact funnier than he'd thought he was.

She'd nodded, smiling quietly as if amused by this reaction. "Hi," she'd answered, and made a joke out of it. "Nice to see you again."

"Always a pleasure."

Gabrielle had seemed to go a bit vague after that, her gaze falling and going back and forth between his hand, and the landscape; and he'd watched her in the silence as her hair - no longer blonde, she'd darkened it some to be less recognizable to the Gods - blew in the breeze; then she'd scooted over towards him, lifting his arm and pulling it around her shoulders before settling against his chest. He was, not for the first time, glad he'd been forced to ditch his armour.

With a sigh, she'd wrapped both arms around his torso and squeezed; and he'd frozen entirely, because there was no precedent for this, and his brain and heart were telling him it meant two completely different things. There was no good way to react.

So he'd been honest in his reaction, which was to say, "What, what's... what is this?"

Her reaction hadn't been what he'd wanted. "I don't know," she'd murmured.

"Gabby..." He put his hands on her shoulders, held them for a second, then pulled her off of him. "Just - can you maybe... not not know? Or at least, sort of know... something?"

She'd looked at her lap, biting her lip a little, then back up at him. "Joxer... um... I'm not sure what exactly I..." She'd sighed and sat back from him, running a hand through her hair. "What I feel. I said - I know I said... Oh, I didn't want to have this conversation yet, until I figured this out a little more..."

"Figured *what* out?"

"Look, I..." Clearly increasingly uncomfortable, she'd clasped her arms with her hands and looked back out over the landscape. "I don't want to - to promise anything, Joxer. I *can't* promise anything, so... so can we not talk about this now?"

"Hoooooold it, hold it. Are you saying-" He'd leaned forward, and she'd sighed. "Are you saying that you - you have feelings for me?" She didn't respond, so he'd prompted her. "Like more than as a friend feelings? Like-"

"I don't *know*, Joxer. Can you listen to me right now? I don't *know*." In a smaller voice, she'd added, "Maybe."

Maybe. It was the sweetest word in the Greek language. Maybe...

"I'll take maybe," he'd said, directing it out to the view, to all of Greece.

There'd been very, very little discussion on the topic since then. She'd said she needed time to know what she felt, but that she'd really enjoyed the time they'd been spending together. He'd said she could take whatever time she needed and he'd wait.

And then Xena had come back to life - not in the literal sense this time, but she'd started talking again, planning the first visit to see Eve. She and Gabrielle had gone together and apparently they'd repaired their relationship during the trip, and when they'd returned everything was normal for them again and Joxer had had a Gabrielle-shaped hole in his life.

And now everything was normal, more or less, except that Joxer was still waiting; even when they were back in Greece, he was waiting for Gabrielle to mention it again. Months, it had been now, with him saying nothing at all about her feelings or their relationship, too chicken to ask if it was any relationship at all, waiting for them at the docks and staying at their sides when he was allowed to.

A dot on the horizon shimmered, then solidified, and he stood up and stretched his legs. From the distance he judged they'd be docking in perhaps 30 minutes, so he'd have time to take a quick walk around and make it back in time to meet them. While he walked he planned what he was going to say to Gabrielle this time. This couldn't go on any further; he had to stand up for himself and say something. She'd said she wouldn't promise anything, but she had, hadn't she? She'd promised that she'd *talk* to him, and so far she hadn't.

After everything he'd done, for all these months, these years; especially this past year, he'd done everything they'd ever asked, he'd even gone and tried to be respectful to her Amazons, in spite of how much they'd openly disliked him, and this was what he got for it. Did she even know he was still waiting, or was he expected to have given up when Xena came back? Did she care at all?

When he got back to the docks, the boat was pulling in. He searched the ship's deck for a sign of them - it was harder now that Gabby's hair was darker and Xena was usually wearing hers tied up - and finally saw them. He waved, and Gabrielle waved back; he wasn't sure if Xena saw him, but she'd never been as expressive as the bard.

Once they'd disembarked, hugged, and he'd taken Gabrielle's bags while Xena had shouldered all of her own, he said, "So how was she?"

"Bigger," Xena said quietly, smiling softly with a reflective expression. She was almost always quiet and a little maudlin for a few days when she got back from seeing Eve.

Gabrielle put her arm on Xena's shoulder, and turned her face to Joxer. "I'll fill you in after dinner. How was everything here?"

"Oh, you know. Same as ever. Boring." He tried again to put together a speech in his head, something for after dinner. *If I were you, I'd take a good long look at this situation and I'd wonder why it's taken me so long...* Didn't sound right. He'd keep working on it.

Now she smiled at him. "So what do you do, wait at the docks the entire time we're gone so that you can be sure to meet us?"

His heartbeat sped up. "Uh, no. No, I do a lot of stuff, I usually - you can ask anyone, I go all over the place..."

Still smiling, Gabrielle lifted her other arm and placed it around his shoulder, patting him on the back. "Ah. So then you just know when we're coming," she said, and it wasn't a question. He tried to scan it for sarcasm and didn't find any, though he would admit that he was really good at missing it.

Xena perked up a little after dinner, but she took Argo out on a long ride to go over her thoughts, and Gabrielle and Joxer chatted. There were a million anecdoates - Eve's first birthday was coming up, she was standing up, she had *teeth*. Not just a tooth but a whole bunch.

"She was biting everything in sight," Gabrielle said as she buffed the dishes that Joxer had just washed. "Honestly, I'm surprised I made it back with all my fingers."

"Next time you guys go, she'll probably be taking down armies. Like her Mom."

"With her teeth?" Gabrielle sounded amused.

"Biting ankles... Going for knees..." He got her giggling. "Then when they're on the ground she can do the pinch on 'em and they're out for the count." She laughed louder and finished stacking the dishes, then put them away. When she was done, he cleared his throat. "Uh, so... Gabrielle, I've, uh... I've been thinking..."

"Oh, Joxer, you shouldn't strain yourself," she said good-humouredly.

From her tone he could tell he was supposed to bite back, but the timing wasn't right for that. "Yeah, uh, I'm serious right now." She sat up, looking apologetic, and folded her hands in her lap. "Well... ahem... a-a little while ago... We were, uh, talking..." Gabrielle seemed to realize what he was getting at. She lowered her eyes and looked intently at her hands.

There was something in her embarrassment that set him off. He realized that he'd been hoping she had just forgotten, or not realized that so much time had passed, but from this reaction it was clear that she was well aware she'd let him down and she was feeling caught. Her guilt spurred him to spill it out. "Look, Gabby, it's been months. And, and, well - what is it? I mean, if it's no, just tell me. Just *tell* me and I can take it, y'know? I wouldn't even be here if I couldn't take it, 'cause you've already told me that a bunch of times. But you haven't told me *anything*, and Gabby... I can't always be waiting on you."

She clutched her hands together in silence for a moment, twirling her thumbs around one another, and then lifted her eyes. She opened her mouth, and he waited for her to speak, but words seemed to catch in her throat; then she came to her knees and leaned forward towards him. "I'm sorry," she said, and he was going to answer, he was going to stand his ground and say that sorry wasn't the same thing as yes or no, but a moment later, her lips were on his in a brief, gentle caress.

"W-well," he stammered, his head spinning, "y'know, that's okay, these things happen... I mean, well, y'know..."

"Joxer," she said quietly, her hand still at his cheek. "I'm sorry, because - because it has been too long. And I... I need you to wait a little longer."

He didn't have an answer to that.

"It's been so... so different. I miss everything, everyone we knew. I miss Eve. I miss *Xena*. And I need... I need things to be... more the way they were, before I can answer. So that I know I'm not... not just..."

"Using me as a replacement for them?"

She lowered her eyes and nodded. "I know I haven't been... we were spending a lot of time together for a while, and we haven't been, but - Xena needs me right now, and I have to be there for her. But I haven't forgotten. I swear. There's just not... the right time, right now."

He let out a big sigh. "Okay, but... what if there's never a right time? Gabrielle, I feel like I don't know where I am anymore. I don't know where we stand and I don't know what to..."

"I know." She slid her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. But it's not forever, I promise. Eve's first birthday is coming up," she said again, "and... and I've been working for a long time now on getting Xena to agree to take her back. We've been safe here, lying low, so I think if we go get her and stay out of Greece we'll be okay. I mean... if you want to come with us..." She lifted her head and looked at him uncertainly.

"Well, *duh*," he answered, and she smiled.

"After the birthday. Okay? Please?"

Well, what else could he say to that? "Yeah, okay." He returned her smile, and Gabrielle patted his cheek and slid away from him.

And he was waiting again, trying to tell himself it was different now that he had an end date, but he wasn't sure if it was. But it was worth it, anyway. It was worth it.

***End***

Notes the Second: I *really* like these lyrics and I don't think I quite did them justice here, but I have an aversion to following a song as a plot outline. This one skirts the line some, I tried to keep the same theme throughout it, anyway. The portion about Joxer knowing where they are is intended to go with the line about wishing you believed in superstitions, maybe then you'd see the signs... I felt like it was underacknowledged that Joxer was clearly tied to both Xena and Gab in a spiritual way, so I played up a sort of theory I'd had for a while, and poked at Gabrielle to notice it.
Disclaimer: Song lyrics are (C) Jack Johnson. Characters are (c) RenPics.



#5936 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Sun Jun 17, 2012 10:00 pm
Subject: Re: FF: Lyric Challenge, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
sasondo42
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You are welcome

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

#5937 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:28 pm
Subject: 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
adobe_lan
Send Email Send Email
 
Just a reminder to Greg, Jerry and Nacey that there are only ten more days to
get your fic done!  Of course we'll still accept them after that, so that's an
empty threat.  ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that. XD

C'mon guys!  I want fic!

-Me

#5938 From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Date: Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:21 pm
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
studmuffin_jer
Send Email Send Email
 

Well, despite Greg's *evil* lyrics, I do have something up & running, but which kind of stalled around the middle :P
Will endeavour to crack on though :)
But I still think the odds are I'll be last & least :P
 
 
Cheers,
                  Jer
From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com; jffg@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, 20 June 2012, 20:28
Subject: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!

 
Just a reminder to Greg, Jerry and Nacey that there are only ten more days to get your fic done! Of course we'll still accept them after that, so that's an empty threat. ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that. XD

C'mon guys! I want fic!

-Me



#5939 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:07 pm
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
adobe_lan
Send Email Send Email
 
Last and least?  That sounds like a CHALLENGE!!  Nace, Greg, you guys have to beat Jerry!

R. (tempted to make it "interesting", but I have no money, so forget I said that)

(post-script: obviously someone will always be last, but there is no "least" :P  I love all fic!)

--- On Wed, 6/20/12, Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...> wrote:

From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
To: "GJRS@yahoogroups.com" <GJRS@yahoogroups.com>, "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2012, 4:21 PM

 


Well, despite Greg's *evil* lyrics, I do have something up & running, but which kind of stalled around the middle :P
Will endeavour to crack on though :)
But I still think the odds are I'll be last & least :P
 
 
Cheers,
                  Jer
From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com; jffg@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, 20 June 2012, 20:28
Subject: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!

 
Just a reminder to Greg, Jerry and Nacey that there are only ten more days to get your fic done! Of course we'll still accept them after that, so that's an empty threat. ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that. XD

C'mon guys! I want fic!

-Me



#5940 From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Date: Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:50 pm
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
studmuffin_jer
Send Email Send Email
 
But.... since you requested fic & I hate to disappoint a lady, then so I shall deliver :)

Part 10 of The way to the Stars, hereby given the thumbs up by my muse & best bud Xedra(Thanks as ever to her, appreciated), shall be coming forth before I hit snooze tonight ...


Cheers,
              Jer

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
To: GJRS@yahoogroups.com; "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, 20 June 2012, 22:07
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!

 
Last and least?  That sounds like a CHALLENGE!!  Nace, Greg, you guys have to beat Jerry!

R. (tempted to make it "interesting", but I have no money, so forget I said that)

(post-script: obviously someone will always be last, but there is no "least" :P  I love all fic!)

--- On Wed, 6/20/12, Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...> wrote:

From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Subject: Re: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!
To: "GJRS@yahoogroups.com" <GJRS@yahoogroups.com>, "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2012, 4:21 PM

 

Well, despite Greg's *evil* lyrics, I do have something up & running, but which kind of stalled around the middle :P
Will endeavour to crack on though :)
But I still think the odds are I'll be last & least :P
 
 
Cheers,
                  Jer
From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com; jffg@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, 20 June 2012, 20:28
Subject: [GJRS] 10 days left for the lyric challenge!

 
Just a reminder to Greg, Jerry and Nacey that there are only ten more days to get your fic done! Of course we'll still accept them after that, so that's an empty threat. ...Maybe I shouldn't have said that. XD

C'mon guys! I want fic!

-Me





#5941 From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Date: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:58 pm
Subject: FF: The Way to the Stars Pt 10
studmuffin_jer
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Notes: 
 
Hypericum – St. John’s Wort - & Rosmarinus – Rosemary – were thought of as useful herbs in Ancient Greece to ward off evil spirits
 
Chamomaela – Camomile
Itea – Willow
Melia – Ash
Drys – Oak
Menthe - Mint
Iris – Iris
Akoniton – Wolfsbane or monkshood
Ione – Sweet violets
 
Discord doesn’t seem to have had any temples at all, not even as a hanger-on to the main temples of other gods. Not a popular goddess at all from what I could glean from research, doesn’t even seem to have been any shrines. Curious.  (Maybe because she was a 'skank' as someone colloquially put it? LOL)
  
There’s no ‘goings-on’ in this chapter, so feel free to read with no qualms J
 
 
Cheers,
                  Jer
 
The Way to the Stars
 
Part 10
 
After the morning’s disastrous encounter, Joxer did not feel inclined to inform anyone of what he planned to do next. Information that like could be double-edged & if anything went awry, the less people knew about it, the better.
 
A wander through the village of Potidaea proved unfruitful, wandering by a kaleidoscope of houses, shops, stores & temples. Until he passed by the taverns.
 
And there he found what he was looking for. As well as all the drunks & brawlers you’d expect around & in a tavern, there were also those down on their luck & trying anything they knew to get enough dinars for a good measure of ‘falling-down water’. Gathered by a signpost, & handily placed between taverns, they endeavoured in vain to entertain passing villagers to part with coins.
 
They were a sorry-looking bunch.
 
Jugglers tossing flaming torches to each other & setting fire to their own hair, mercenaries wielding swords that looked worse than Joxer’s, conmen trying the tired old cup-&-ball routine, musicians that were trying not to wreck a tune but were failing miserably – it was doubtful that they had enough for a pint between them, never mind for one each. The people of Potidaea were not greatly impressed, it seemed.
 
He watched from a distance, seeing them squabble amongst themselves over possible punters & all lose out in the process, & sighed. His ears pricked as he heard something, & flicked his eyes around the group. He listened again, nodding to himself before striding forward & lifting up a bag of coins that jangled.
 
It was like magic. The arguments & scuffles stopped, & all eyes turned greedily towards him & the bag that held a hint of promise.
 
“I’m in a giving mood today,” he said casually.
“I wonder who’s the most deserving?”
 
A flurry of cries all insisted that they were obviously more needy & had led a good life, & a few dinars would be just the thing to set them on the right road.
 
Joxer rolled his eyes in response. Well, that was predictable.
“Tell you what, you can all have a few coins. Except for musicians. They suck.”
 
A fountain of coins sprayed over the non-musicians & they scrambled over each other to get enough to get served inside, without so much as a thankyou. The musicians glared at him in resentment – now they’d never get enough money to have a drink. Muttering dark oaths under their breaths, they tottered off in the direction of the next village in search of better luck & a more appreciative audience.
 
But not quite all the group had left. There was one who was still present, casting Joxer a murderous look. A young woman with long dark hair & wearing a simple blue skirt & top, her steel-grey eyes flashed with anger. She sat facing him defiantly, cross-legged with her lyre perched on her lap.
 
“Thanks,” she said bitterly.
“That was really nice of you to spare the time to give no money to me or anyone else who enjoys playing.”
 
 â€œWell, that’s because none of the others could play a note to save their lives. You, on the other hand
.”
She looked at him quizzically, wondering what he was up to.
 
“For instance, they couldn’t play this
”
 
He pulled out his previously unseen lyre from his backpack, & started playing a cheery & engaging melody on it.
 
The effect on the villagers in Potidaea was remarkable. Instead of walking by, they were drawn to the music & flocked around, dropping coins at his feet with reckless abandon. Until he stopped, & the villagers resumed their passing-by & ignored them as before.
 
“That’s an 
.interesting tune,” the girl said carefully.
 
“If you feel so inclined to travel in the general direction of the market square, it may be that our paths may cross again,” he said.
 
He turned on his heels & whistled as he sauntered off. She looked at his retreating back with mixed feelings, torn between suspicions towards his motives & desire to know that tune. Whilst she was mulling that over though, the small pile of coins was something she wasn’t going to turn her nose up at. The cache of dinars quickly secreted in a pouch under her skirt, she rose to her feet & strung her lyre over her shoulder. That done, she pondered her next move.
 
Joxer walked onto the market square, & bought a loaf, some cheese, & a bunch of bananas engaging the stallowners in seemingly casual chit-chat as he did so. Out of curiosity, he wandered over to the blacksmith’s to look over the weapons. The sparks & intense heat from the forge made him blink, especially when he saw something very familiar. He coughed to get the smith’s attention, who looked up from his work.
 
“Um, you’re Magnus, aren’t you?” Joxer said hesitantly.
 
“Yes,” he said shortly.
Pretty much most of Potidaea knew who he was, if not by sight then by reputation.
 
“Only, um, you’ve got my sword & scabbard.”
 
Magnus nodded in understanding.
 
“Ah! You must be Lila’s friend. She said you’d be by to collect it, though the Gods know why you’d want that sword. It’s awful. No balance, no edge, no point. It’s junk. But the scabbard, now, that’s worth something. I could give you something from my weapons, or..”
 
But Joxer shook his head in regret.
 
“Afraid not, I’m really not one of life’s warriors. Think I’ll leave that to those who are. But if you can get a good price for it, that’ll be just the ticket.”
 
“Funny you should say that,” Magnus said.
“Just had a man asking about if it was for sale. Gave a very good price for it too.”
 
Magnus pointed out the man in question & mentioned the offer. Joxer reflected on it & thought about it briefly, before walking over to the prospective buyer.
 
“I understand you’re after my scabbard,” he said.
“I agree on the price but with one condition.”
 
“Condition?” the other bristled.
“What kind of condition?”
 
“I’ll show you,” Joxer said.
“One moment please.”
 
He pulled a slate from a spare pack that Lila had left him, & drew something carefully on it with a piece of stubby chalk & pointed where he wanted it. It was perhaps an unusual request, but not unacceptable. The counter-offer was mulled over, albeit with raised eyebrows at the condition. Then a proffering of an outstretched hand that was met & shook.
 
“I can honestly say I’ve not had an offer like that before,” the man said at last.
“It’s 
.different.”
 
‘That’s for sure,’ Joxer mused to himself upon closure of the deal.
‘Different doesn’t come close. Try 
chaotic.’
 
But the thing about chaos was, it blurred the issue so nobody knew what was going on. Which *might* make emerging from the fog first - & in one piece - a little easier.
 
 
                                                **********************************
 
 
“Well, back to work,” Sasha said cheerily as they walked through the village.
 
“Mmm,” Lila said noncommittally.
 
Sasha patted her shoulder reassuringly & gave her a warm smile.
“Lila, don’t worry about your friend. He’s just off doing his own thing, that’s all. And if there’s anything wrong, Xena’ll sort it out.”
 
“I suppose,” Lila conceded.
 
“Plus you’d be of more use as a trained healer, than not.”
 
“You’re right Sasha, I just wasn’t thinking straight,” Lila said, perking up.
 
“So what do you think Xena’s going to do about Charon’s bridge?” Sasha said, changing the subject.
 
“I think Xena’s going to try to clear it,” Lila said at last.
 
“Well, it’s about time someone tried,” Sasha said.
“Gods know enough have been taken. But all I can say is ‘good luck’- she’ll need it!”
 
“Xena’s more capable than most,” Lila replied.
“Plus she does have a little aid from me.”
 
Sasha gave Lila a searching look, who answered with a small smile.
 
“Does she now? And - does she know about this ‘aid’ at all?”
 
“Gods, no. Xena doesn’t even like any human assistance, much less any help from the Gods or from the garden. Let’s just say it’ll be a surprise.”
 
“I’ll bet,” Sasha snorted.
“And how did you manage to do that?”
 
“When she gave me a hug at the farm just after the messenger arrived. I sneaked a flower chain around the hilt of her sword.”
 
“Flowers?” Sasha queried
“How are flowers going to help?”
 
“These will,” Lila said firmly
“Flowers from the Hypericum & Rosmarinus plants. They’re more than mere herbs & shrubs, y’know.”
 
“Well, they can’t hurt,” Sasha conceded.
“Ah, we’re back at the temple. Main door I suppose.”
 
“Let’s see.”
 
Approaching the door, they pushed it open & looked for their mentor. The temple was decidedly chaotic that afternoon with worshippers, suppliers, servants, musicians & priests all buzzing around the main hall. Jax could be seen still though, a solitary figure standing by a statue of his god & everyone else giving him a wide berth.
 
Having picked him out, they made a beeline for him. On nearing, they could see he had a pair of white tunics hung over one arm, whilst holding slates & chalks in the other.
 
“Welcome back, Apprentices. Let’s begin,” he said, handing over the objects.
 
As he handed them over, it was apparent that it wasn’t ‘one-size fits-all’ for the tunic. Which was just as well, as Sasha was tall & slender, & Lila was curvier & shorter.
 
“How did you know our size?” Lila asked.
 
“We have a well organised tailor,” Jax explained.
“Once someone applies to become a healer, he gets weaving. Literally.”
 
Sasha’s eyes widened, as she mentally calculated the number who applied the other day.
 
“That’s a *lot* of weaving.”
 
“That doesn’t mean from scratch of course,” Jax added,
“Some are old tunics, which are reformed, cut & shaped accordingly.”
 
“Ah!”
 
Lila nodded her head in acknowledgement, that made more sense.
 
“Enough chit-chat,” Jax said,
“Oh & don’t put it on yet. You’ll see why after the nursery.”
 
Lila & Sasha exchanged glances in confusion. A nursery? Children in a temple?
 
Jax opened a side door, leading the way into a small antechamber, before unlocking a heavy oak door. As they followed on after the cleric, the chaos of the outer temple gave way to a long hallway. And once the door slammed shut with an air of finality, it shut the rest of the world behind it too;
 
The noise was cut down to the song of a grasshopper chirping merrily away & the sound of a trickle of unseen running water, the combination of the two was almost musical. The corridor looked good too, the walls were smooth & well defined, the floor tiled & clean, & the glass roof letting the sunshine beam through.
 
Sasha & Lila visibly relaxed as they walked on, enjoying the relative peace & quiet. The corridor terminated eventually at a pair of big wooden doors within a large stone wall, an unseen building beyond.
 
“Here is the nursery,” Jax declared, unlocking the door.
The apprentices strained their ears but could hear nothing. With a heave, the doors pushed inwards to reveal a vivid picture of nature in all its finery, leaving Lila in awe.
 
“Wow,” was all she could say.
 
“Ohhh, *that* kind of nursery,” Sasha said in realisation.
 
It was a paradise of trees, flowers, ferns, bushes & herbs all flourishing under a glass roof, a veritable greenhouse. A polished mosaic of a laurel tree lay on the floor with a bubbling pool in the centre, channels of crystal-clear water running to every growing plant. This garden had Lila in raptures, just drinking in all the greenery she wished she could have in her humble realm. Sasha wasn’t quite so enamoured but she was still seriously impressed. Someone had gone to a lot of the trouble to make this place look good – well, it had worked. It was beautiful, it was functional, it was practical. Perfect. Jax coughed to get their attention, & got it.
 
“This is not just an ordinary garden, as you can see. It’s a Healer’s garden. Every one of these plants can be used in some way for aiding or curing or a remedy for various ailments. Hypericum, here,” he pointed.
“Like gold to a healer, invaluable. The leaf, the stem, the flower, the seeds, all helpful stuff. Careful how you smell it though, most unpleasant if it sprays you. Don’t touch the root either.”
 
Having been given a slate & chalk, it seemed logical to take notes of what they were being told, though they had to write swiftly having not been prompted.
Pointing to a white flower nearby, indicating a leafy plant & lifting the flower head up for the two girls to see.
 
“This is Chamomelia,” he said, pointing to a small white flower.
“It’s used as a tea chiefly, to aid sleep, but can also be used as a poultice & preventing wounds going infected.”
 
“Over here, is Itea,” the cleric said, standing by a tall, thin white tree.
“A curious remedy this one, the bark can be used for reducing a fever by chewing it!”
 
“Now this tree,” he said,
“Is different again. Melia. It’s another tea, sort of thing the amazons might use I imagine in their sweating huts. It cleanses the body right out.”
 
“Of er, everything?” Sasha asked, grimacing.
 
“Everything,” he said firmly.
 
“Ewww!” the girls chorused.
 
Neither of the apprentices were greatly keen on that notion but nevertheless continued to scribe notes on their slates with some chalk.
 
“Salvia, a herb,” Jax said, indicating a small green plant.
“Useful for refreshment from exhaustion, & something you may find useful – an aid to memory!”
 
“Ah, here’s an interesting one, Silphium. It has, shall we say, its own very special healing properties,” Jax said with a chuckle.
“It’s been said is that the seed pod is shaped like a heart, which does make it easier to recognise. As you see, it’s not dissimilar, though the plant doesn’t belong to Aphrodite.”
 
At the mention of the last plant, Lila had turned a slight shade of pink, arousing Sasha’s curiosity as to what that healing property might be that Jax alluded to. That may merit some investigation later, she thought to herself. Possibly when they were alone, it sounded
 intriguing.
 
“Lila, you’ve got some experience with plants & herbs, why don’t you show Sasha what I mean?” Jax said.
 
Lila cleared her throat hurriedly & walked over to the nearest tree, drawing her fingers up the trunk which towered both upwards & outwards.
 
“This is a Drys. Not your first thought when it comes to medicine, but surprisingly useful. The leaf, when lightly bruised, can be used to cover open wounds.”
 
Picking up a couple of fallen leaves from the ground, she passed them to Sasha, who examined them thoroughly. She watched as Lila demonstrated how the leaf fitted around a would-be wound, using a long plant stem to secure it, then tried it for herself. It took a few goes before she was happy with it, but she nodded with satisfaction at last.
 
“Menthe, now,” Lila continued.
“Grows like wildfire as you can see, so it’s one herb you can never run out of usually. Again, it’s the leaf, & also an unforgettable odour, quite pleasant. It’s very useful too, chiefly as an oil, though it can be used for bad breath too!”
 
Sasha looked it over for herself, noting how it seemed to flourish better than anything else. Using her other hand to rub against the leaf, it gave a not displeasing smell & she made some more notes on her slate.
 
“So to sum up,” Jax said,
“There are three types of remedy. Oils, teas & parts of the plant – leaves, seeds, flowers & so on. With experience, you’ll know which plant supplies what & is a cure or remedy for which ailment & in what quantity. But in the meantime, I suggest you both look over the nursery & get to know them.”
 
They took his cue to vanish into the herbidaceous border embracing mother nature – though none too closely with such stout defenders as thorns, stings, foul odours, dyes, inedible fruits & unseen insects. It was a world of discovery in the plant world, but one that could take years & years to uncover just the barest of its secrets. And it was sometimes loathe to give up even that, as Lila & Sasha were discovering. Jax smiled as he heard yelps & cries from amidst the green undergrowth, humming to himself an old tune called ‘A Hellenic Country Garden’
..
 
 
                                            *************************
 
 
“Well, it’s been a funny old day,” Xena remarked.
 
“Mmm,” Gabrielle said noncommittally.
“That’s one way of looking at it.”
 
Back at the farmhouse, the two friends pondered possible courses of action. Lila & Sasha had gone back to the Temple after a messenger had come, though Lila was reluctant to leave initially. Something was bothering her but she wasn’t in a sharing mood & it was only after Xena took her to one side that she left.
 
“What did you say to Lila?” Gabrielle asked, after her sister was out of earshot.
 
“That I’d look out for Joxer. She’s worried about him.”
 
“Why?” Gabrielle said.
“This is Potidaea, nothing ever happens here. What could possibly happen to Joxer?”
 
“Normally, no,” Xena said.
“But she suspects something’s up. As to what, well, take your pick – bandits, wolves, snakes, a cursed crossing, and the Gods just playing with us.”
 
“Okay, point taken,” Gabrielle conceded.
“But why her? Surely yours or mine instinct would tell is if something was wrong. Especially as we’re closer to him than anyone else.”
 
“Hmm.”
 
“Hmm? What’s ‘hmm’ mean?”
 
“I wonder
.”
 
“No, think about it Gabrielle,” Xena said as her friend was about to interrupt.
“How many times have we sensed he needed us?”
 
“Let’s see, there was the time we tangled with Bacchus, or the time he got badly wounded or – “
 
Xena coughed gently in admonition.
“Er, not exactly. We just bumped into him, we weren’t looking for him or felt he was in danger.”
 
“Oh, I’m sure there must be lots of time we felt he needed us,” Gabrielle said airily.
 
She held a hand up to count the many occasions. And found she couldn’t.
“Er

”
 
Xena let out a wry smile.
“Yeah. Makes you think, doesn’t it?”
 
Gabrielle brow furrowed in deep thought as she pondered over this information.
 
Odd, how picking up on some friends if they were in peril, led her to assume that all of her close friends could be sensed in the same way. It was a bit of a disillusionment to learn that the reverse was true. But Lila appeared to have some sense for Joxer. Apparently. There was another line of thought that passed simultaneously through her mind, but she put that to one side.
 
“Intuition? Instinct?” Gabrielle asked.
 
“Possibly,” Xena shrugged.
“So I want you to look into it & see what’s up.”
 
“Okay, I’ll find out what’s going on. What are you going to be doing?”
 
“I’m going to be taking a 
..walk on the wild side.”
 
“A walk on the wild side??” Gabrielle echoed before her face fell in sudden realisation.
“Oh no! Not that damned bridge.”
 
“Yup, damned is right. And before you say anything, I’m going in from the safe side.”
 
“What safe side? There’s nothing safe about that crossing!”
 
“No-one’s ever said anything about people disappearing from the Potidaean side of the bridge, have they?”
 
“Now you come to mention it, nobody has. Why are you taking on the bridge anyway?”
 
“Because I’m here & there’s no-one else.”
 
This was unarguable.
 
“I’m not happy about it,” Gabrielle grumbled.
“I don’t like the idea of you being in so much danger whilst I’m looking into something more trivial.”
 
“We don’t know that it is trivial, Gabrielle,” Xena pointed out.
“If it’s something more serious, then I could concentrate on the undead knowing I had my right-hand woman looking after it. And if it’s something minor, you can despatch it quickly enough to watch my back.”
 
Gabrielle didn’t look overly convinced by this line of argument but a curt nod signified her agreement. Xena squeezed her hand by way of reassurance, which her comrade met with a small smile.
 
“Come on then, Gabrielle,” Xena said, climbing to her feet & pausing at the doorway.
“Sooner we get on with it, the better.”
 
With a sigh, Gabrielle followed her best friend’s lead & clapping her left hand on the taller woman’s shoulder.
 
“Just make sure you come back safe, or you can tell Hades I’ll be coming after you!”
 
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Xena smiled & hugged her friend tight.
 
The walk to the bridge from the farm was uneventful since they were preoccupied with their own thoughts & did not feel inclined to talk to anyone else. So it was with some trepidation that Gabrielle left her at the water’s edge, & Xena being Xena, stood facing her with arms tightly folded until Gabrielle had left.
 
“On your way, Gabrielle,” Xena said firmly in answer to a feigned exit through a copse of trees.
 
Only the distant sound of trudged footsteps & loud mutterings convinced her she was alone, though she still kept the corners of her eyes peeled for any furtive movement. When she was fully satisfied there was no other living thing about, her face took on a grim expression & turned to look upon the crossing once more.
 
It was true that this side didn’t look as menacing or fearful as the other side had, but it didn’t mean it was going to be a walk in the park either. She cracked her knuckles, then took a deep breath & stepped forward off the grass. As soon as her foot hit the surface of the bridge, the whispering in the air started. Despite herself, she gulped & took another step forward, subconsciously feeling for her sword. This was not going to be easy
.
 
 
                              ***********************************
 
 
Joxer, unaware of Xena’s peril or of the search for him, was taking a moment to think things over by the river.
 
Having concluded the deal, at least orally, it remained for it to be completed before he might consider relaxing. And then only maybe. It was a definite longshot, not the odds he liked but –‘
 
What’s it for anyway?
 
Joxer started in surprise. Where did that thought – actually it was more like a disembodied voice - come from? He looked about, but there was no-one close by. It was like an echo in his head. And those who were in the vicinity, didn’t appear to be aware of whoever else was speaking.
 
He *knew* what it was for. Well
. he hoped it was for something.
 
Reason it out, then. Make sure it stands for something, the voice said, or thought - whichever it was.
 
‘Well, that kind of made sense,’ he mused.
‘It would be foolish to do it all for naught. Better make sure it was all thought out in advance. Okay, Discord & Aphrodite were after him & Lila, for the Gods know what. It wouldn’t work out well, that’s for sure. He’d had enough narrow scrapes alre-‘
 
Yes, yes, never mind that, keep on thinking. Don’t get distracted.
 
Yeah. That was true, important not to get distracted. Focus. Right. Okay, so two goddesses were after him & he’d have to choose Discord, that was clear. He shuddered at the memory of the experience.’
 
Ouch.
 
‘That’s for sure. He didn’t want to choose either of them really, but Discord had made it very clear who he should choose. What would no doubt be a painful & pleasureless choice, but the alternative would be worse.’
 
Hum. Not Dizzy or the Bimbo then.
 
Not through voluntary choice, no. He hadn’t had a good experience with either. Xena or Gabrielle or Hercules could undoubtedly see them off, but he wasn’t a hero like them & it was pointless trying to be like them now.
 
But what about him being Mighty, saving other people & all that?
 
Yeah, well, that was just wishful thinking. Got to be realistic. If he couldn’t save himself, he could at least try to save his friend Lila from any trouble or any comebacks.
 
Very noble. And where is she now?
 
He frowned at the query, the sneering undertone almost.
 
Strange how his lack of self-belief struck even at his thoughts. Even alone, he was at his own mercy. Nevertheless, he pulled himself together & tried to stare back at himself fiercely. Or what he imagined was his innerself.
 
‘In the Temple of Apollo, learning to be a healer, of course.’
 
Hmm, interesting. This has
.possibilities
.
 
He withdrew cautiously under the shelter of an evergreen, not wanting to exhibit arguing with himself in public. It’d make him look foolish & he had enough life experience of that without adding anymore.
 
“Who-“
 
It was an effort not to speak aloud & he somehow turned that exclamation into a cough without anyone noticing. He stepped back into the trunk, dropping to the ground & leaning against the tree. He took a breath then tried again.
 
Who are you?
 
Think of me as
. an adviser.
 
‘Well, could you advise me now?’ Joxer sighed.
‘Discord’s making my life a living Tartarus, there’s a nasty bridge claiming people & horses alike, & only the Gods know what Aphrodite will do to me, & well, that’s enough for most people isn’t it? Me, I’d just like a quiet life
’
 
There is 
. an alternative, the voice suggested.
‘Dissy wants you to join up with her. Bet she didn’t say when though. So why not seek her out *now*? You’ve been dancing to both their tunes, how about you set the pace instead?’
 
Yeahhhh, that might just work! Discord won’t be expecting it, Aphrodite certainly won’t & when they clash - well, that should be a sight well worth seeing!
 
The unseen counsellor chuckled by way of reply, then faded away. He looked about again for any sign of his hidden ally, but his searching was in vain. No-one at all, not even a mouse. Well, almost a mouse – there was a squirrel scampering along the branches, but its paws were stuffed with nuts & berries & eyes flashing from one side to another nervously.
 
Not a likely source of wisdom & knowledge, he decided, & smiled as its bushy tail briefly swished in the air before vanishing within a hideyhole in the tree. As it squeezed in, it dislodged something, which fell to the ground & glittered briefly. Startled, Joxer picked it up & examined it.
 
It was an amulet seemingly, a thin metal disc with a chain, presumably to be worn around the neck. It had some sort of bird carved on one side though he wasn’t as well versed on them as he was on flora. It didn’t even appear to be that valuable, just a piece of twine attached to a piece of cheap metal, probably both copper, if the green discolouring was any guide. This was unlikely to belong to anyone important, let alone one of the gods. More likely to be some kind of good luck charm. Well, he could certainly do with some, so this at least, he was laying claim to.
 
He uncoiled the cord & lifted it over his head, the disc laying against his chest before tucking it out of sight under his shirt. The rodent emerged from its drey & chattered at him angrily for the loss of its ‘shiny thing’ – though for what purpose a squirrel could have for it, Joxer was at a loss to explain. Still, he didn’t like the idea of stealing, not even from a squirrel. Feeling inside the pockets of his jacket, he found a scant amount of acorns & seeds lodged tight within & placed them carefully on the ground by the base of the tree.
 
A few moments later, a red furry head poked its head out of a hole at the bottom of the tree & sniffed the air suspiciously. It glared at Joxer briefly before scrambling over to where the cache of edible goodies was. Nibbling on a single seed warily, it prepared to bolt, watching the human for any kind of movement. Having sat perfectly still, Joxer was amused to see the squirrel watch him intently as it tentatively tried each item on offer in turn, its dark eyes flashing & blinking alternately.
Having seemingly passed muster, the consumables were gathered up within its cheek pouches & with a twitch of its whiskers, disappeared back within the safety of the tree.
 
‘Fair exchange is no robbery,’ he smiled & the pitter-patter of the paws from within the hollow seemed to echo in agreement.
 
Having concluded that little exchange, he pulled his lute out & strummed a few chords repeatedly. The tune didn’t sound like much, but it was useful practice & also it helped him to think.
 
It was in such a pensive mood that someone *did* come to join him, or rather he heard them coming,
 
“Hello?” a voice said uncertainly, pausing at the tree’s shadow.
 
“Welcome to my office,” Joxer said casually without getting up.
“Do take a seat.”
 
“Thanks,” the other said shortly & leaned forward to reach under the tree’s branches to see him.
 
“And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” he began.
 
“Your offer of music,” replied she.
“You made it sound intriguing. Of course, that depends what the price is.”
 
“I require,” he answered slowly.
“Information.”
 
She relaxed visibly, but not totally.
 
“Of what?”
 
“Well, your name for one. I don’t like talking to strangers.”
 
“Cassie,” she said.
 
“Joxer. Now we’re no longer strangers, at least.”
 
She lowered her head in acknowledgement, & waited in the expectation of more. There was.
 
“Now, I require flowers – specifically, Iris, Akoniton, & Ione & about two handfuls of apples.”
 
She looked baffled at the strange request for a mix of fruit & flowers, then shrugged. To get a simple array of produce for a money-spinning tune seemed more than enough.
 
“There’s got to be more to it than that,” she said suspiciously.
“What else do you want?”
 
“Well, you have to deliver them as well. There’s a farm not far from here, belongs to a man called Herodotus. Do you know it?”
 
She took a moment, then gave an affirmative nod.
 
“Now, where’s the biggest & nearest temple to Discord around here?”
 
“Discord??” the girl echoed in astonishment.
“What in the world do you want from her?”
 
“Nothing for you to worry about,” he said.
 
She didn’t look convinced.
 
“Look, all I want you to do is find the nearest & biggest one is. You don’t even have to go in or talk to anyone.”
 
“Well, that’s easy,” Cassie said.
“None. She’s not popular.”
 
“Shrines?”
 
“None.”
 
“She must have *something*. The Gods thrive on belief & worship, after all.”
 
Cassie stood there a moment, racking her brain for likely sites.
 
“Well, there’s a sort of *unofficial* temple across the river, within a wood. General opinion is that it was a temple once, but it was abandoned & left to rack & ruin. It’s so overgrown with ivy & weeds, it’s almost part of the wood! The temple of Zeus at Olympia, it isn’t. Rumour is that Discord’s taken it over, but no-one’s gone to check it out in person. Somewhat understandably.”
 
“So how do I get there?”
 
Cassie stared at him.
 
“You’re really sure you want to do this?”
 
“Yes.”
 
She looked at him as though he was off his gourd.
 
Which, he reflected, was probably not that far from the truth. Associating with Discord was not something anyone with any sense did voluntarily.
 
“It’s your funeral,” she said.
“About two days walk from here, take the road to the east through three villages, over the hill, through the stream & turn right at the signpost to-“
 
“I thought it was over the river?” he interrupted.
 
“It is. There’s a stone bridge a few miles away. Once you cross that, you can see the woods in the distance. It’s about half a day’s walk away.”
 
She pointed in the direction of where the crossing point was.
 
“But I wouldn’t go that way,” she added in a low voice.
 
Joxer, however wasn’t paying attention & missed this rather important detail.
 
“I’ll take that route instead,” he announced.
“So, a bargain’s a bargain – Let’s see how good you are.”
 
Sat down together, their instruments grew from an initial solo from Joxer to a gradual duet. It wasn’t plain sailing though, the middle section was quite complex, & she struggled to pick it up.
 
“You have all the right notes,” he observed with a small smile.
“Just not necessarily in the right order. See, this bit *here*
”
 
He turned to face her, so she could see where & what he was playing, & accentuated the notes more slowly. After played it a few times, she was getting closer but it still wasn’t quite right.
 
“May I?” he asked, indicating to that he wished to assist her in person.
 
She nodded & he put his instrument down, & moved next to her, placing his hands upon hers.
“Now,” he said,
“Although a lute is different from a lyre, the principal is the same. All you do here is pull & stroke - like attending to a horse’s mane.”
 
It reminded him of something else too, but he wasn’t going to go there.
 
He guided her hand slowly along the strings, so that she could get a feel for it. It was almost a rhythmic motion, as their digits moved in harmony, until he let go. He watched on as she tried for herself, & almost cheered as it finally came together.
 
“You’ve got it!” he exclaimed.
 
He looked on proudly at her, as though a prize pupil had performed a particularly difficult trick.
 
“Why don’t you practice on someone?” Joxer suggested.
“Then you can see how effective it is, or if you need more practice.”
 
“How should I do it?” Cassie asked.
 
“Just walk & play, the music will do the rest, if you have it right. But don’t overplay it. A little goes a long way.”
 
“Right,” she said & jumped to her feet, pulling the strap around her neck to support her lyre. 
 
“Oh, & if anyone asks, just say you met a 
student of Orpheus,” he said.
 
She regarded him oddly, then shrugged in acquiescence to the strange request. Turning her attention to her lyre, she studied it intently, gently plucking as she’d been taught. As the music became more familiar to her, she strained her ear for any false notes & grimaced as she hit several sour chords in the middle section. Trying again, the dark-haired girl managed to get through without any major mistakes, breathing a sigh of relief.
 
She softly played the piece of music, tapping her feet to the melodic beat to aid her. Hearing no mistakes, she turned to see Joxer giving her thumbs up in approval, & relaxed. Taking that as a cue to walk & play, she did so, using her footsteps as a musical guide. It wasn’t until she passed someone, however, that the music seemed to come suddenly alive, as if she’d known this song forever.
 
The sound of jingle of coins on the ground was like music to her ears too, & she quickly manoeuvred to stand over where the bounty had fallen. The woman having moved on, Cassie stilled the music & picked up what lay beneath her skirt.
 
“All contributions gratefully received,” she said to herself happily.
 
She turned to speak to Joxer to thank him, but he’d gone. Oh well. But at least that last donation would help pay for those flowers he wanted. Now that she had a real  moneyspinner, as well as her own songs, she could try her luck in the towns & see what offerings she could pick up there, maybe even a job or a sponsor. Stringing her lyre onto her back, she whistled one of her own compositions as she looked around the market.
 
**********************************
 
 
Walking cautiously onto the bridge, Xena’s instincts crackled in anticipation.
 
Her right hand hovered by her weapons, ready to stir into action in an instant. Her eyes as keen as a hawk’s, watching for the slightest indication of movement. Each step was deliberate as though the ground was trapped, waiting for something to appear or happen.
 
Something did. In abundance.
 
A veritable host of spectres suddenly stood before her on the far arch of the bridge. They moved towards her menacingly, the voices in a chorus of hostile whispers. Xena had however faced much worse & was unafraid now that she could actually see her foes. The darkness & mists were, for some reason, not apparent this side of the bridge. Her chakrams appeared in her hand in an instant & the air howled with the high pitched whirring as she set them loose.
 
She smiled grimly back at her adversaries, the chakrams flying off the stonework at different angles to go straight through the undead.
 
But as her projectiles returned to her hand, her face fell. Gone straight through was right, they hadn’t even been touched!
 
“You cannot make the undead *more* dead, Xena,” the chorus whispered as one.
“You cannot hurt us, but we can certainly hurt *you*.”
 
Their voices were as dry as dust & crackled like old scrolls, even the husky laughter sounded threatening as they moved closer to her.
 
“First your horse, now you. Not your day.”
 
Xena’s hair stood on end as they came forth, their arms reaching to seize her. She retreated slowly before their advance, readying herself to make a more forced & rapid retreat than she would have liked. Until they appeared behind her as well.
 
“You were a fearsome warrior,” the voices hissed.
“You will be a fearsome undead warrior.”
 
Were?! Undead?!
 
The warrior princess swallowed hard as her future looked decidedly grim, & short. She didn’t like her prospects one bit but she wasn’t done for yet. She started calculating the distance behind her to the shore, working out in her head if she could reach it with an acrobatic leap. If nothing else, there was always the river. It looked as though the current could take a limb off with the white horses riding high & fast, but that was preferable to what was on the bridge.
 
As the spirits pressed forward, Xena pulled her broadsword forth, more by instinct than in any hope of breaking free. To her surprise, she felt some flowers on the hilt & wondered how they had gotten there. Out of irritation, she pulled the garland free & giving it no thought, cast it aside. The encumbrance free, she twirled her sword round in a defensive circle to keep them at bay - if magical weapons could not hinder them, perhaps cold steel might.
 
As it happened, she was quite wrong. Cold steel didn’t. But those nearest the discarded bloom suddenly flared up in a bright light, looking badly scorched. For a brief moment, there was a respite, as the mass of undead recoiled in fear.
 
“It burns! It burns!” the cry went out.
 
Xena was surprised, but she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. In a rapid movement faster than most people could blink, she hooked the precious flora with her right boot up into the air & looped it over her sword. The wielder smiled chillingly, before cartwheeling across to the bank of the river, blade to the fore. A series of puffs of dust, brief flashes of light, & high-pitched screeches marked her deadly path to freedom, as the host had suddenly become a good deal fewer.
 
“I love the smell of dead undead in the morning,” she snarled.
 
Xena looked back at the bridge & it was as if the encounter had never happened. But she knew they were still there, waiting in ambush. It wasn’t clear how she’d despatched them exactly, but those innocent-looking flowers had something to do with it. Where they’d come from, she didn’t know - but she was inordinately grateful.
 
One thing was for sure, the bridge was equally dangerous from either side. The only difference was that from the Potidaean side, there were none of the horrors she’d experienced previously. But whilst her second crossing had provided a few answers, there were also more questions.
 
The two sides of the bridge were significant too, why one was light & the other dark & foreboding?
Could she get rid of the residents permanently? Annoyingly, force wasn’t the answer.
Maybe there was a connection between the two sides? But who would know?
 
The Warrior Princess grimaced in distaste, she knew the answer to that one. That would mean talking to the Gods, not her favourite way of passing time. Not the most reliable, either. She drummed her fingers thoughtfully on a milestone close by.
 
What to do, what to do
.
 
It was at times like this she thanked the Gods she had Gabrielle. She was her other half, so to speak. Where she, Xena rushed in, Gabrielle was more rational, thought about what to do. And Gabrielle was a good fighter too, perhaps nearly as good as she was. It was in many ways, an ideal partnership.
 
Gabrielle would know what to do, she decided firmly.
 
Talk to Gabrielle, identify the flowers, talk to Apollo, find the answers, break some heads.
 
Sometimes the simplest solutions were the best.
 
She tore off two of the flower heads, & deposited the floral bracelet back on the bridge’s edge. There was a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that someone else was going to need it.
 
 
**********************************
 
 
Gabrielle, after reluctantly leaving Xena, had decided to follow her own line of enquiries. Since she’d been asked to look out for Joxer, it seemed logical to find out about the snake first.
 
The ‘What’ was fairly straightforward;
It didn’t take a genius to work out that since the snake had no poison - the pigs & guineafowl, despite several bite marks & spit attacks, were more or less in rude health – it must therefore have had another weapon. And since were both being very co-operative & doing whatever was asked, that was easy to work out too. Coercion.
 
The ‘why’ was less straightforward to answer.
 
If the snake had been sent to attack herself or Xena, she could have understood it.
But Joxer? It didn’t seem possible, frankly. 
 
He was so harmless, he wasn’t a threat to anyone, or anything. He didn’t even listen well, so it wasn’t likely he knew anything he wasn’t supposed to. But someone had a grudge, or was after him for something. The attacks to date had proved that.
 
The snake itself was a dead end. It was just a water snake, given a helping hand by someone to get a few extra powers & several sizes bigger than normal. So next step was to examine the river, see there were any leads there.
 
Walking down to the river’s edge, the snake’s trail was still clearly visible on the wet & muddy turf. She concentrated hard, trying to sense if there was a presence nearby, or had been. Xena was better at this sort of thing though, she’d just know if there was a God close by. But Gabrielle was getting a feel for it, just in a different way.
 
She dropped down onto her haunches, dipping a hand in the flowing water & swirling it about where she estimated the reptile had come from. Examining, smelling & appraising the taste on it on the tip of her tongue, her senses tingled, then flinched instinctively.
There was something evil there, whoever it was, they’d left a calling card on her hand. Claw marks that left welts stretching down the back of her hand. Nice.
 
A cat’s paw, how appropriate - using the snake as a means to an end. Though what end was another question.
 
Then another thought struck her. A cat? Or a wildcat? Discord!
 
That would fit in with the malevolence she could sense, plus she was the sort who *would* use a snake to play & toy with a mortal for fun. But the ‘why’ was still unanswered. What would Discord want with Joxer?
 
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice hailed her.
 
“Why? Because I might find out something useful?” she snapped irritably, the claw marks having soured her temper.
 
“No, because some of the villagers use this to bathe in. Or as a latrine.”
 
“Oh. Ick!”
 
She covered her mouth with her untouched hand in distaste, then looked up. Charon was rowing his boat past her, but it seemed that Gabrielle was the only one that could see or hear him. Other people in the vicinity were totally unaware of his presence, even as he came to a stop.
 
“Hello Charon, what are you doing here?” she said, more civilly.
 
“Oh, just a passer-by Gabrielle, just a passer-by.”
 
“Keeping an eye on the bridge?” she guessed.
 
“Amongst other things,” he said casually.
 
“Other things?” she asked, intrigued.
 
Gabrielle couldn’t even imagine what Hades’ oarsman did in his spare time. Come to that, she didn’t even know he had any spare time.
 
“Tending my garden in the underworld for one,” he said.
 
“You have a garden?”
 
“Of course! You don’t think I spend all my time just rowing to & fro across the lakes & rivers do you? Where would be the fun in that?”
 
“Huh. I can’t say that I thought of you exactly as a party kind of guy,” Gabrielle remarked.
 
“You’d be surprised,” came the sardonic reply.
 
“So what do you grow anyway?”
 
“I have a large garden of fertile soil, which houses all the flowers that the living toss after the dead. Can’t think why they do that, I mean, it’s not as though the dead want or need them is it? But hey, whatever rocks your mortals world
”
 
Gabrielle shrugged. She wasn’t much into flowers or fauna, that was more her sister’s area of knowledge.
 
“Anyway, I have nardus, hypericum, rosmarinus, daisies – “
 
He paused, giving her a knowing look.
 
“Now there’s a flower you’re familiar with. Or at least your young friend is. Gave me more dedications than I can remember. Dedications are nice, I don’t get many. Not many remember old Charon. But *I* remember. ”
 
He gave Gabrielle another hard stare. Gabrielle narrowed her eyes & glared back.
 
“Are you trying to tell me something?”
 
“Who, me?“ Charon said innocently.
“I know nothing, I just row the dead to Hades. But I do hear interesting things occasionally. Such as how some mortal has got ‘upstairs’ in a right old tizzy. And not just the usual suspects either.”
 
“Joxer? But why would Olympus be interested in him? He wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
 
“His care towards insects is not what concerns them,” Charon said drily.
 
“What does?”
 
“His benefactor, for one. And then there’s – “
 
“His benefactor??” she echoed.
 
Charon nodded.
 
“Else why are all the spells & charms bouncing off him? Someone’s on his side.”
 
“Oh no!” Gabrielle said.
“Now he’ll think he’s invulnerable & do something stupid, he’ll, 
. ohhhh
.”
 
She shuddered in despair, her head in her hands - then stopped as Charon waved a bony finger in reproof.
 
“Back up there, Sparky,” he told her.
“He doesn’t even know that it’s happening. Which makes it even *more* annoying for them.”
 
“So 
Joxer’s just being himself?” she said slowly.
“He’s not doing anything foolish – well, no more than usual - & the Gods can’t do anything to him? At all?”
 
“Yeah, funny, ain’t it?”
 
Charon sniggered at the thought of the Olympians firing spells en masse at a mortal to no effect.
 
“Aren’t you bothered? Gabrielle said curiously.
 
“No skin off my nose,” he said dismissively.
“I’m not a God, why should I care?”
 
“So why are the Gods after him anyway?”
 
“Can’t tell you that,” he said regretfully.
“But watch your diary for next month! If even half of what I’ve heard is true, some up there – particularly up there - & down here are going to be living in ‘interesting’ times.”
 
“*How* interesting?”
 
Charon said nothing, but sucked air through his teeth in a tone of anticipation. His skeletal jaw opened wide in the broadest grin, & Gabrielle felt, that if he had any eyebrows, they’d be raised sky high.
 
“You’re just an old gossip, aren’t you Charon?” Gabrielle smiled.
 
“It’s a hobby,” he shrugged.
“Well, must be on my way. But remember – with the Gods taking a keen interest in what’s going on, you might want to keep a discreet distance. Taking on Ares or Aphrodite is one thing, but a bunch of them? I wouldn’t.”
 
Gabrielle was left in his wake, as he steered his boat down the river before gradually vanishing.
 
She frowned, the warning clear in her mind, but still concerned for Joxer. Not to mention Lila, if there was any fallout or collateral damage. Well, Xena had been right. It certainly wasn’t trivial, it was possibly as serious as the bridge. When Xena came back, they’d have to have a long talk what to do next. It was going to be difficult.
 
And while Gabrielle was fretting over what to do about Joxer’s situation, elsewhere in the village something else was occurring.
 
The merchant had been as good as his word & the first part of his bargain was coming to fruition. The stonemason normally took his time, stone was a slow, gradual crafting business. But money talks. And now the mason had all of his apprentices on the task, together they were doing in a few days what would usually take weeks. And when it went up, as Joxer had known full well, all Tartarus would break loose.
 
 

#5942 From: "sasondo42" <sasondo42@...>
Date: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:39 am
Subject: Welcome New Member
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 
Hello
Welcome hope you have fun

Susie

#5943 From: "Greg Gruschow" <Zafnak@...>
Date: Thu Jun 21, 2012 4:39 am
Subject: Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes
g_gruschow
Send Email Send Email
 
Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes

  Lyrics from Nancy

  Rating... PG (cussing)

  Timeline: Season 5, post Eve, pre-Motherhood

  Spoilers: Is this really needed? I mean, even Outer Mongolia has seen all the
episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess by now. Spoiler warnings after all these
years is like spoiler warnings for the ending of 1933's King Kong. O very well.
Spoilers for the ending of Season 5 episode Eve.

  Added Spoiler Bonus for King Kong-  The Big Ape dies.

  Notes: After much research, I've dug up the names of three of Joxer and Meg's 5
kids- Virgil, Theon, and Kara. Theon and Kara are the two kids sitting on either
side of Joxer in "Looking Death in the Eye"


  Disclaimers: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Virgil and Meg and the rest of
her kids are not owned by me, I'm just making them jump through *my* hoops for a
bit.
  How Deep it Goes (the lyric story) was written by me, Greg Gruschow.
  Permission is hereby given to read it, enjoy it and archive it if so desired.
Just don't claim *you* wrote it or the Underwear Gnomes will get you.


  How Deep It Goes
  Heart

  In the quiet afternoon you left and went down into town
  And I just watched the empty road behind you
  Where the fog lies kissing the mountainside
  You want to be sleeping, deep inside
  Believing that the hungry world won't find you

  Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
  You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
  What I believe anymore
  Or whether to leave, or whether to stay
  Or what I can say
  To make you know
  How deep it goes

  Somebody turned on the dirty blues
  I know you don't like the blues
  Cause the words are always the same
  And they kind of remind you
  Somebody turned the blues on me
  I don't like the blues cause I can't see
  Through the tears that come and make it hard to find you

  Come on down
  Come on down
  You've got to come lay down here and say those things
  Those warm things, right here in my ear
  The times that you had that water like wine
  So clean and so fine to make me know how deep it goes
  Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
  You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
  If I could leave anymore, even though there's a scar
  Still fresh from the war, don't think about it no more
  Letting new love flow
  How deep it goes





  Rain. Virgil looked up into the sky and sighed. Rain. Again. It had rained
nearly every day since he'd returned home. His poet's soul wanted deeply to
believe the Gods themselves were weeping for his father, but he knew better. The
Gods wept for no mortal.

  The light, misty rain that was coming down in no way hampered him or his
younger brother as they loaded up the family wagon with a few precious items
that they didn't want looters stealing in the near future. The two youngest sat
in the back to make sure the load didn't shift. That and there wasn't room in
the wagon box for all of them.
  Virgil made sure that Joxer's chest of Xena and Gabrielle Heirlooms was tucked
safely aboard, and out of his mother's sight. He risked a sidelong glance where
the woman sat, unmoving, oblivious to all around her.

  Coming out of the tavern with the last load, Theon and Kara put the last items
into the wagon and turned to him. Virgil cleared his throat and offered some
final brotherly words.


  "I'm depending on you guys to keep mother safe until you get to Athens. She'll
be in good hands once you get to Uncle Jace's. I hope."

  The pair nodded. "When you you join us?" Theon's voice was soft with sadness.
Too much had happened for him to feel much more than numb but he was dealing
with it as best he could. He had to- he was the Man of the House now.

  Virgil shrugged. "Could be a long time. I need to catch up with Xena and
Gabrielle and then..." He let the rest of his words fade away.

  Kara nodded once. "Find her. Find that Roman bitch and make her pay."

"I will," her big brother promised.



                      *******************



  From her seat up in the wagon box, her children's words washed over Meg's ears
like waves on the beach. Ever since Virgil had come home with that... with that
THING that was supposed to be her Joxer... ever since her screams and the tears
that would not stop and the collapse... ever since then she was totally dead
inside.

  She gazed ahead of her with eyes that looked but didn't see as her mind
replayed her last words to him.


  "Joxer! if you walk out that door don't bother coming back!"


  Those words. That stupid, empty words that hadn't stopped him at from leaving
at all.

  And he didn't come back. And it was all her fault. Her words. Her words had
doomed him.

  The kindest, most loyal, most loving man she'd ever met.

  And she, with her hateful, selfish words,she had killed him.

  She didn't notice as Virgil helped Kara into the wagon. She didn't notice as
Theon hauled himself up into the wagon box, took the reins and, with a quick
snap, got the oxen moving. She didn't notice Virgil waving goodbye, tears
rolling down his face.

  Her eyes only saw her beloved as he walked down the road with his son, as they
trailed behind the Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard, getting smaller and
smaller in the distance.
  How she wished she'd have taken back those awful words. How she wished she'd
said something, *anything*.


  "But no," Meg's voice was barely a whisper. "I stood there and I just watched
the empty road behind you"


  And those terrible words began to ring in her ears again.

#5944 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:26 am
Subject: Re: Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 
Greg this was sad but good

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Thu, 6/21/12, Greg Gruschow <Zafnak@...> wrote:

From: Greg Gruschow <Zafnak@...>
Subject: [jffg] Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, June 21, 2012, 12:39 AM

 
Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes

Lyrics from Nancy

Rating... PG (cussing)

Timeline: Season 5, post Eve, pre-Motherhood

Spoilers: Is this really needed? I mean, even Outer Mongolia has seen all the episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess by now. Spoiler warnings after all these years is like spoiler warnings for the ending of 1933's King Kong. O very well. Spoilers for the ending of Season 5 episode Eve.

Added Spoiler Bonus for King Kong- The Big Ape dies.

Notes: After much research, I've dug up the names of three of Joxer and Meg's 5 kids- Virgil, Theon, and Kara. Theon and Kara are the two kids sitting on either side of Joxer in "Looking Death in the Eye"

Disclaimers: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Virgil and Meg and the rest of her kids are not owned by me, I'm just making them jump through *my* hoops for a bit.
How Deep it Goes (the lyric story) was written by me, Greg Gruschow.
Permission is hereby given to read it, enjoy it and archive it if so desired. Just don't claim *you* wrote it or the Underwear Gnomes will get you.

How Deep It Goes
Heart

In the quiet afternoon you left and went down into town
And I just watched the empty road behind you
Where the fog lies kissing the mountainside
You want to be sleeping, deep inside
Believing that the hungry world won't find you

Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
What I believe anymore
Or whether to leave, or whether to stay
Or what I can say
To make you know
How deep it goes

Somebody turned on the dirty blues
I know you don't like the blues
Cause the words are always the same
And they kind of remind you
Somebody turned the blues on me
I don't like the blues cause I can't see
Through the tears that come and make it hard to find you

Come on down
Come on down
You've got to come lay down here and say those things
Those warm things, right here in my ear
The times that you had that water like wine
So clean and so fine to make me know how deep it goes
Well, that's just fine, that's just fine
You've got to believe and I don't know, I don't know
If I could leave anymore, even though there's a scar
Still fresh from the war, don't think about it no more
Letting new love flow
How deep it goes

Rain. Virgil looked up into the sky and sighed. Rain. Again. It had rained nearly every day since he'd returned home. His poet's soul wanted deeply to believe the Gods themselves were weeping for his father, but he knew better. The Gods wept for no mortal.

The light, misty rain that was coming down in no way hampered him or his younger brother as they loaded up the family wagon with a few precious items that they didn't want looters stealing in the near future. The two youngest sat in the back to make sure the load didn't shift. That and there wasn't room in the wagon box for all of them.
Virgil made sure that Joxer's chest of Xena and Gabrielle Heirlooms was tucked safely aboard, and out of his mother's sight. He risked a sidelong glance where the woman sat, unmoving, oblivious to all around her.

Coming out of the tavern with the last load, Theon and Kara put the last items into the wagon and turned to him. Virgil cleared his throat and offered some final brotherly words.

"I'm depending on you guys to keep mother safe until you get to Athens. She'll be in good hands once you get to Uncle Jace's. I hope."

The pair nodded. "When you you join us?" Theon's voice was soft with sadness. Too much had happened for him to feel much more than numb but he was dealing with it as best he could. He had to- he was the Man of the House now.

Virgil shrugged. "Could be a long time. I need to catch up with Xena and Gabrielle and then..." He let the rest of his words fade away.

Kara nodded once. "Find her. Find that Roman bitch and make her pay."

"I will," her big brother promised.


*******************

From her seat up in the wagon box, her children's words washed over Meg's ears like waves on the beach. Ever since Virgil had come home with that... with that THING that was supposed to be her Joxer... ever since her screams and the tears that would not stop and the collapse... ever since then she was totally dead inside.

She gazed ahead of her with eyes that looked but didn't see as her mind replayed her last words to him.

"Joxer! if you walk out that door don't bother coming back!"

Those words. That stupid, empty words that hadn't stopped him at from leaving at all.

And he didn't come back. And it was all her fault. Her words. Her words had doomed him.

The kindest, most loyal, most loving man she'd ever met.

And she, with her hateful, selfish words,she had killed him.

She didn't notice as Virgil helped Kara into the wagon. She didn't notice as Theon hauled himself up into the wagon box, took the reins and, with a quick snap, got the oxen moving. She didn't notice Virgil waving goodbye, tears rolling down his face.

Her eyes only saw her beloved as he walked down the road with his son, as they trailed behind the Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard, getting smaller and smaller in the distance.
How she wished she'd have taken back those awful words. How she wished she'd said something, *anything*.

"But no," Meg's voice was barely a whisper. "I stood there and I just watched the empty road behind you"

And those terrible words began to ring in her ears again.


#5945 From: Beth Ann Di Bartolomeo <zimamcfru@...>
Date: Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:53 am
Subject: RE: Lyric Challenge: How Deep it Goes
trfan2001
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Beautiful story!  And so sad.  :(

trfan

#5946 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Mon Jul 2, 2012 12:37 am
Subject: FF: Can't Live With 'Em
adobe_lan
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Title: Can't Live With 'Em
Author: Xebbie
Rating: G
Continuity: Early-midway through "Animal Attraction"
Pairing: Arman/Amarice, and one-sided Joxer/Gabrielle
Spoilers: "Animal Attraction", nothing else.
Note: Yeah so.  I probably won't be able to do it, but I'd like to try to write
a fanfic for every episode in season 5.  They're all going to be short, just
writing exercises really, and I probably won't have an idea for every single
one.  But it is fun. :)  So, here's the (not especially inspired) one for
"Animal Attraction".  Who wants to bet I won't be able to think of one for "Them
Bones"?
Anyway: Enjoy. ;D

*****

"Women."

"Tell me about it."

"Women are *crazy*."

"I'll drink to that! ... She's acting like *I* was the one who made her fall
down."

"It was a wet floor!  And it was FUNNY!"

"Yes!  THANK you!"

"And she wasn't hurt, anyway."

"She doesn't think maybe she's being just a LITTLE bit oversensitive?"

"C'mon.  Well, Amarice is like that.  She takes things really seriously."

"'Cause she's crazy."

"You wanna talk about crazy?  Right now Gabrielle is out there somewhere trying
to get attention from a horse."

"Now *that* is crazy!"

"I'll drink to that. ... Y'know, you give a woman everything you have - you buy
her stuff, you pull her off a cross, you try to carry her apples... And what
happens?  'Leave me alone, Joxer.'"

"To YOU?  She said that to *you*?"

"She said it, pal."

"Women."

"Tell me about it."

"You're a great guy!"

"I know!"

"Gabrielle oughta feel lucky that she's got a guy like you to help her out!"

"Yeah!  I mean, come on!"

"And instead she's gonna be out there... what... grooming some horse?"

"And Amarice, over there twisting around every single thing you say...  A nice
guy like you."

"I am nice!"

"You, my friend, deserve better."

"I'll drink to *that*.  ...  Ahhhh.  Women."

"Women."

"What'd we do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, that's what.  Nothing at all."

"We just know how to pick 'em."

"Yeah, and look.  I'm stuck on the Ice Queen and you've got Princess Harpy."

"...Hey, now.  Amarice is not that bad."

"Sure she is!  She doesn't even *deserve* a great guy like you, she's NUTS!"

"Hang on, now."

"I mean, nuts doesn't even describe it!  She's got a hate-on for men, y'know,
always talking about how much better Amazons are but seriously... Y'know how she
fell earlier?  Well, she falls down *a lot*."

"It's not *that* funny..."

"Nah, it's hilarious.  And I was thinking to myself a little while ago, I was
thinking, I bet she's not even really an Amazon!  She talks big but I got this
feeling..."

"So what, then, you're calling Amarice a liar?"

"Ahhhh, I'm not saying anything over here, not me.  I just happened to notice
that she talks an *awful* lot about HER tribe but she never says anything
concrete... Like where her tribe is..."

"Uh...*huh*."

"Or why exactly they'd be willing to put up with her.  Heh."

"Oh yeah?  Like Gabrielle's such a catch?"

"Huh?"

"You said it yourself, Joxer, she's got a perfectly good man right in front of
her and she's more interested in chasing down horsies.  There's something wrong
upstairs if you ask me!"

"Now, wait a minute, that's not WRONG - Gabby's just an animal lover!"

"And y'know, last time I saw her she was all peace and love and nonviolent, and
now what?  She's carrying around a pair of knives?  What's with the split
personality?"

"Listen, Arman, back off about Gabrielle.  She's been through a lot."

"Yeah, and I think it's knocked something *loose*."

"Gabrielle is twice the woman Amarice is ever gonna be!"

"At least Amarice is willing to talk to me!"

"For five minutes.  And if we're *lucky* it might not all be cursing you out!"

"Better that than ignoring me in favour of a *horse*!"

"At least Gabby's a *real* Amazon instead of a wannabe!"

"That's *it*!"

*****

Gabrielle sighed impatiently, tenderly poking at the red swelling underneath
Joxer's eye.  "I don't understand how you managed to pick a fight with *Arman*. 
He's the nicest guy in Greece."

"I thought I was the nicest guy in Greece," Joxer grumbled, trying not to sound
petulant.

"Did you?" Gabrielle asked, managing to make it sound both casual and
accusatory.

Joxer snorted.  "Yeah, well anyway, you wouldn't be saying that if you heard
some of the stuff he said."

"I don't have any interest in the kinds of conversations you'd lead him into."

"If you must know," said Joxer, relishing even the slightly painful twinges
brought on by her fingers as she gently tended to the spot where Arman had hit
him, "he was besmirching your honour."

"Ohhhh," she said lightly, clearly not believing him.  "And that's why you had
to make him hit you."

"Yes, kind of.  I wasn't gonna let him say that sort of thing about you."  If
she just understood that he'd been standing up for her, she wouldn't be so
cavalier about this.  Maybe it would be more convincing if he'd managed to get a
hit back at Arman before being knocked out, but that first punch had pretty much
put him down for the count.  Arman was strong for a skinny guy.

"Well, it's nice of you to go invite people to beat you up in my honour, but
please don't," she said distractedly, and let go of his face.  "I really don't
have time for this right now."

She started to leave the room, which meant she was going back to the damn
stables again.  Rather desperately, he tried, "It still hurts.  A lot.  But it
felt better when you were poking at it."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes.  "Put that poultice on it.  Five minutes on, five
minutes off.  It'll help with the swelling and keep it from bruising too much." 
She was already at the door.

"Gabrielle..." he tried. She stopped and turned, giving him a look that
suggested he was responsible for every single setback she'd had with that horse,
and he was just about to give up and turn away when he saw something else in her
expression too - not enough to inspire hope, but enough to keep hope from dying
completely.

She drew a breath, about to speak, but was interrupted when a third figure
joined them in the back room of the tavern.  "Oh, Gabrielle - hi, is Joxer...?"

"He's here."  She lit up at the sight of Arman, grinning at him like *he* was
her long-time friend and confidant.  A guy who not 30 minutes ago had been
questioning her sanity, and she was smiling at him.  "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Arman said, ducking his head sheepishly.  "I'm the only one who
landed a punch, so...  I'm really sorry about all of this."

"I've known Joxer for years," she answered pointedly, looking at Joxer as she
said it, "so believe me, I understand."  Joxer scoffed loudly and set the
poultice against his eye, turning his back on her.

Behind him, Arman said, "Well... I'm not sure if Joxer mentioned what exactly
brought this on..."

"Don't worry about it," Gabrielle said, the very soul of graciousness.  "As long
as you can promise me that you two aren't going to pick up where you left off,
I'll leave you for now.  I've got a horse to tend to, and-"

"Believe me, I've got *no* intention of starting anything up again," Arman said,
sounding sheepish again.  Gabrielle wished him well, and left, and Joxer sulked
with the poultice under his eye until Arman took a seat next to him.  There was
an awkward pause, during which Joxer wondered if Arman was going to apologize,
and wondered if he *wanted* Arman to apologize since then he'd have to apologize
too, and the whole thing was very awkward until Arman finally spoke.

"Wow.  So she left you for the horse, huh?"

"Yeah.  Can you believe that?"

Arman shook his head to show he clearly could not believe it.  "That is crazy."

"I know!  Crazy!  I got socked in the eye!"

"Women."

"TELL me about it."

****

End

Joxer, Arman, Gabrielle, Amarice, and "Xena: Warrior Princess" are (c) RenPics. 
Idea mine. :)

Notes: I think I kinda ended up imitating Dharma on this one.  Couldn't really
help it.  My original intent was to sort of make it all-dialogue but that
would've been confusing later.  So... lalala!  Hope this was fun. I didn't have
a lot of inspiration on this.

#5947 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:10 am
Subject: FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
adobe_lan
Send Email Send Email
 
YOU GUYS THERE IS A THUNDERSTORM WHY AM I POSTING THIS NOW D:

Title: Inappropriate
Author: Xebbie
Timeline: Somewhere around "Purity", likely before "Back in the Bottle"
Rating: PG-ish
Spoilers: Purity, early season five in general
References to: Fallen Angel, Chakram, Animal Attraction, and Them Bones, Them
Bones. Oh, and Purity.  :P
Disclaimer: I own nothing!  All characters - Joxer, Gabrielle, and Xena - and
the show they come from are owned by RenPics.
Notes: I dunno if I can really make this quite jibe with my read on The Scene in
"Purity" but it was the best I could do; I think I sort of over-apologized for
Joxer when I don't actually think he did anything *wrong*.  He doesn't really
need an explanation for being himself, after all. XD

*****

It was the most bizarre change, Gabrielle thought.

They left him in Spamona, and he was mooning over her and under her foot at
every turn; and she felt guilty if she snapped at him for it, because after all
he *had* been under a lot of emotional stress and, well, technically she had
sort of given her tacit okay for him to be openly in love with her when she'd
accepted the whole "no strings" thing.  Under protest, she might add, but it
wasn't as if she'd told him to get over it.

That would be cruel.

As long as there was an understanding that NOTHING was going to happen and that
she didn't have to *do* anything... and that was what "no strings" meant, right?
Nothing was required from her, it wasn't her responsibility, he was going to
deal with it himself - well, in any case, *if* that was how things were going to
go, then it was only fair that she give him a little space to adjust, and be
nice to him.  Be understanding.  Be patient.

More so than usual, even.  Patience was a requirement when dealing with Joxer on
a good day.

Well, but so there he'd been in Spamona, giving her longing looks and running
after her with offers to carry things - whatever all that was about - and being
oddly un-Joxerlike with his offers to basically do menial jobs for her whenever
she needed it, but managing to be completely Joxer about it.

Then they'd split up, and they'd left Amarice with the Northern Amazons, and
when he'd caught up with them again it was like - in love?  With Gabrielle? 
Who, now?

And Gabrielle felt herself starting to relax, finally.  It had been some crazy
mistake; he'd been overwhelmed, from the whole crucifixion thing, which was
overwhelming to everyone, and ... well, somehow or other he'd translated the
whole thing into being in love with her.  And then he'd cleared his head and
gotten it out of his system and he was back to being Joxer, thank the Gods.

And it meant she could be herself around him again, too.  She could whack him
for snoring at night, which he did loudly and frequently; she could run him down
when he said something stupid without worrying that he'd take it personally. In
fact he was giving as well as he was getting - heck, once they'd arrived in Chin
he'd started running *her* down again, which he hadn't done in months, and the
craziest thing about it was that it was such a relief that she didn't even MIND.
And equally weird, now that she *could* insult him again, it was easier to
compliment him too.

Except for one thing.

He didn't seem to be able to go much more than a day without making some kind
of... comment.  Something to do with sex, or her physical appearance, or...
*something* suggestive.

This was actually vintage Joxer as well; the man had no inner voice telling him
what was okay to say out loud, especially among mixed company.

But he *only* did it to her.  And under the circumstance, Gabrielle thought it
was not out of line for her to wonder what it was about.

It wasn't even complimentary, exactly.  Not really.  It would be one thing to
hear "Gee Gabrielle, your hair looks nice today" or "That's a pretty outfit." 
She would have even settled for "Nice boots" or something.  But no, instead,
every day it was some weird effort at being funny mixed with some
inappropriately sexual content: like the morning when she was pumping water out
of a well for Xena and he off-handedly commented that she must be fun on dates. 
Stuff like that.  They weren't come-ons; he wasn't trying to put the moves on
her or anything, he apparently just thought he was being funny, but it made her
wonder... just how often, when he looked at her, did his mind go straight into
the gutter?

Then yesterday had been the worst one yet.  Though she couldn't really blame him
for having his mind in the gutter, under the circumstances... but it would have
been *awfully* nice if he could have just put the whole situation into a little
more context...

Honestly.  "Three feet in my-"  *Honestly*.

She'd been determined to put the whole event out of her head, and to never let
anyone know it had happened, because she would never live it down.  And much as
she had feared the opposite, Joxer was evidently keeping his mouth shut.  So
far, anyway; give him a week, part of her said, and he'll forget that he
promised and start blabbing about it to everyone.  *She*, on the other hand, had
no such plans or desires.

But then she couldn't stop thinking about it.  And the more she thought about it
the more it bugged her.  Did it *mean* something...?  Okay - okay, she knew what
that line was *supposed* to mean, but putting THAT aside...  He was NORMAL
again, or normal for Joxer.  And she *liked* him being normal for Joxer.  And
this was going to gnaw away at her and that meant...

That meant that she had to tell Xena.

She plopped down by the fire that night and stared at the embers until Xena
said, "Okay, spill it."

"Um, I don't know what you're talking about...?"

"Don't even try that one.  Something's bothering you, and if I recognize the
facial tics correctly, it has to do with Joxer.  If I recall correctly you spent
a few hours in close confinement with him earlier today, so - spill."

Gabrielle took a deep breath - this was going to be hard to relive - and
spilled.

***

"Three feet in your pants?" Xena asked bluntly.

Joxer, who was arranging spices in a portion of his knapsack that Xena had
previously thought went unused, jumped about a mile.  "Oh - uh, you heard about
that, huh?" he asked, a little sheepishly, when he'd recovered.  "Pretty good
line, right?"

Xena didn't answer in words, but she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay."  Joxer stopped and coughed, then looked at his hands, then started to
say something.  Then he stopped, laughed, cocked his head, and said, "Okay. 
See, here's the thing.  Do you ever *try* to be funny?"

"Never."

After a moment of staring her in the face, during which Xena's stony expression
did not shift, Joxer nodded.  "Okay, I buy that.  Well, lemme tell you
something, it's *hard*."

"Clearly.  Should I take this to mean that you try to be funny often?"

Joxer gave her a look.  "You sure you're not trying to be funny right now?"

"Touche."  Xena broke, and gave him a half-smile.  "So.  Trying to be funny
makes you traumatize Gabrielle?"

"Aw man, she told you?  I really didn't think she'd tell *any*one about that." 
He peered at her.  "How MUCH did she tell you?"

"Enough for me to know you had a better day than she did."

"Heh."  Joxer looked chagrined, and at the same time, giddy.  He cleared his
throat.  "It was purely professional.  I was just trying to lighten  the mood,
y'know, she takes these things really seriously so I just wanted to...
y'know..."

"So you had her best intentions at heart."

"Absolutely!"  He nodded emphatically.  "As always!"

"And the 'you must be fun on a date' thing..."

"That was a compliment!" he sputtered.

"Mm-hmm.  And so referring to her 'buns of steel'-"

"She is in *great* shape."

"Of course."  Xena nodded, then cocked her head.  "Joxer, lemme ask you
something..."

But Joxer was already sighing and lowering his head. "Okay, *okay*, I know.  I
sound like a jerk.  You think I don't know?"

"Actually, I am a little surprised to hear this."

"Well, I do.  But I'm... she... y'know, things aren't *normal*."  He shrugged,
and went back to organizing his spices - or trying to, since he didn't actually
appear to be paying attention to what was what.  "They haven't been normal in a
while, and - y'know, they...  I dunno.  It just seemed like it was starting to
bug her, anyway, so I thought I'd try to *pretend* things were normal, go back
to the way things were before.  I thought I was doing a pretty good job.  Gabby
seems a lot more..."

"Relaxed.  Definitely."

"Oh good, I'm not imagining that, then."

"Well, she was up until a day or two ago..."

Scratching evasively at his cheek, Joxer said innocently, "Uh-huh..."

"So.  What's up with the comments, Joxer, and no bull."

"Whew.  Okay.  Fine."  He pushed his lips out for a moment or two, face towards
the sky and away from Xena, and then he said, "I get performance anxiety."

Xena bit back a snicker.  "Nice."

Apparently relieved by her reaction, Joxer barely smothered a grin.  "I just
wanna keep things light, really, y'know?  But it's hard to be funny all the
time, and especially when I'm looking at her -"  He paused and took a second to
cough again, then restarted, "Especially when Gabrielle's kinda tense...  So, I
mean - well, look, I'd *love* to wake up every day and tell her how gorgeous she
is in the mornings, but then I'd look like a creep who's always staring at her."

"Which you are," Xena reminded him wryly.

"I am *not*!  C'mon, give me a break here, this is HARD for me!"

Smiling more softly, Xena said, "I know.  I'm teasing.  So instead of
complimenting her you... what exactly?"

"Just goof around," he said insistently.  "I mean, if some of the stuff that
comes out *happens* to be about her..."

"What were you saying about performance anxiety?" she cut in.

He wilted directly.  "Okay.  I get nervous.  Not always, I'm fine most of the
time, but when I'm joking with Gabby sometimes I get really, really nervous. 
And when I get nervous it- it all comes out wrong."

"That actually makes a lot of sense."  Xena patted him on the knee.

"Few things are as nerve-wracking as having the woman you love stick her foot
down your pants for the wrong reasons," Joxer said sagely.

Xena removed her hand and sighed.  "You always gotta say something to ruin it,
huh, Joxer?"

He sighed, too.  "Yeah."

"All right," Xena said, and pushed herself to her feet - who had made the ground
so damned *low*, that's what she wanted to know.  "Well, I'll tell Gabrielle to
lay off and give you some space so that you don't get so-"

"No no!  Noooo, no no.  I don't want her to know, okay?"  He blinked at her,
very sincerely, and added, "It'd mean a lot to me if you just didn't tell her
any of this."

Well, then what *was* she supposed to tell the very antsy bard waiting for her
to come back with an explanation?  Xena sighed in exasperation.  "Fine, I'll try
and come up with something else.  But don't blame me if it's no good."

Joxer gave her a twin thumbs-up sign and nodded, grinning broadly.

***

When Xena returned to the campsite where Gabrielle was waiting, she found the
blonde scuffing hard at her boots, apparently engrossed.  She sat down carefully
and waited for Gabrielle to speak first.

"Okay, anything?" Gabrielle asked without looking at her boots.

"He's sorry," Xena said noncommittally, "and it wasn't meant to be offensive. 
He's just trying to be funny."

Gabrielle snorted. "Funny.  Yeah.  Funny guy, that Joxer."

"Have you tried asking him to stop?  Because really, if he *knew* how much it
bothered you, I bet he'd stop."

There was a pause, and Xena knew that Gabrielle had not bothered to do this, and
that she was trying to justify the fact that she had no plans to do it later. 
Instead she held up a boot and examined it, but it was hard to tell if she was
really looking at it or not.  "He might," she said lightly.  "But you never know
with Joxer.  Maybe if he knew it bothered me he'd just do it *more*."

That was a weak excuse, Xena thought.  Oh well.

"I wonder how he'd like it if I blatantly harrassed *him*," Gabrielle continued.
"Like if *I* made some kind of comment about what's in his pants."

"That's an awful thought."

"I know, I'm really wishing I hadn't said that right now," Gabrielle said,
squinching up her nose in distaste.  "But still.  You know what?  Tomorrow I'm
gonna give him a taste of his own medicine.  See how he likes the shoe on the
other foot."  She put her boot down decisively.

***

The day dawned brightly, and most of their party did as well.  Gabrielle was not
in the best of moods, but she felt passable. Mostly she was distracted, watching
Joxer, waiting for the moment to strike - the moment when inspiration would hit
her and she could find something to pounce on him for.  ...Figuratively.  She
would *figuratively* pounce on him.  And then she would take him *down*.

The opportunity arose after breakfast, when they were packing up and Xena asked
Joxer to pack up her bedroll along with his own, due to her back feeling stiff. 
Joxer did it - though under loud protest, which earned him a dirty look from the
pregnant lady - and it was while he was on his hands and knees that Gabrielle
knew the moment had arrived.

She was utterly unprepared, however.  Come on, Gabrielle - just say something
deliberately embarrassing.  Something rude, something that'll make him feel like
a piece of meat.  Come *on*.

"Hey Joxer!" she called abruptly, "nice butt!"

Joxer straightened up and turned to look at her, his expression one of total
shock.  Within seconds the shock disappeared, replaced by a very surprised
delight.  "Wow - thanks!" he said.

"Oh Gods," Gabrielle muttered to herself in horror and put her hand over her
mouth.

"Can't really blame you for noticing," Joxer said with a grin, and leaned back
over.  "Actually, I've been workin' out..."

"Well, Gabrielle, that was very kind of you," said Xena in the even, almost
disinterested tone of voice she used when she was laughing on the inside.

The hand over Gabrielle's mouth skipped up to cover her eyes as the bard lowered
her head.  "What have I *done*...?" she muttered.

So much for normal.

*****

End.

#5948 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Sat Jul 21, 2012 1:54 am
Subject: Re: FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
sasondo42
Send Email Send Email
 

Cute

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Thu, 7/19/12, Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...> wrote:

From: Xebbie St. Hubbins <adobe_lan@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
To: gjrs@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, July 19, 2012, 10:10 PM

 
YOU GUYS THERE IS A THUNDERSTORM WHY AM I POSTING THIS NOW D:

Title: Inappropriate
Author: Xebbie
Timeline: Somewhere around "Purity", likely before "Back in the Bottle"
Rating: PG-ish
Spoilers: Purity, early season five in general
References to: Fallen Angel, Chakram, Animal Attraction, and Them Bones, Them Bones. Oh, and Purity. :P
Disclaimer: I own nothing! All characters - Joxer, Gabrielle, and Xena - and the show they come from are owned by RenPics.
Notes: I dunno if I can really make this quite jibe with my read on The Scene in "Purity" but it was the best I could do; I think I sort of over-apologized for Joxer when I don't actually think he did anything *wrong*. He doesn't really need an explanation for being himself, after all. XD

*****

It was the most bizarre change, Gabrielle thought.

They left him in Spamona, and he was mooning over her and under her foot at every turn; and she felt guilty if she snapped at him for it, because after all he *had* been under a lot of emotional stress and, well, technically she had sort of given her tacit okay for him to be openly in love with her when she'd accepted the whole "no strings" thing. Under protest, she might add, but it wasn't as if she'd told him to get over it.

That would be cruel.

As long as there was an understanding that NOTHING was going to happen and that she didn't have to *do* anything... and that was what "no strings" meant, right? Nothing was required from her, it wasn't her responsibility, he was going to deal with it himself - well, in any case, *if* that was how things were going to go, then it was only fair that she give him a little space to adjust, and be nice to him. Be understanding. Be patient.

More so than usual, even. Patience was a requirement when dealing with Joxer on a good day.

Well, but so there he'd been in Spamona, giving her longing looks and running after her with offers to carry things - whatever all that was about - and being oddly un-Joxerlike with his offers to basically do menial jobs for her whenever she needed it, but managing to be completely Joxer about it.

Then they'd split up, and they'd left Amarice with the Northern Amazons, and when he'd caught up with them again it was like - in love? With Gabrielle? Who, now?

And Gabrielle felt herself starting to relax, finally. It had been some crazy mistake; he'd been overwhelmed, from the whole crucifixion thing, which was overwhelming to everyone, and ... well, somehow or other he'd translated the whole thing into being in love with her. And then he'd cleared his head and gotten it out of his system and he was back to being Joxer, thank the Gods.

And it meant she could be herself around him again, too. She could whack him for snoring at night, which he did loudly and frequently; she could run him down when he said something stupid without worrying that he'd take it personally. In fact he was giving as well as he was getting - heck, once they'd arrived in Chin he'd started running *her* down again, which he hadn't done in months, and the craziest thing about it was that it was such a relief that she didn't even MIND. And equally weird, now that she *could* insult him again, it was easier to compliment him too.

Except for one thing.

He didn't seem to be able to go much more than a day without making some kind of... comment. Something to do with sex, or her physical appearance, or... *something* suggestive.

This was actually vintage Joxer as well; the man had no inner voice telling him what was okay to say out loud, especially among mixed company.

But he *only* did it to her. And under the circumstance, Gabrielle thought it was not out of line for her to wonder what it was about.

It wasn't even complimentary, exactly. Not really. It would be one thing to hear "Gee Gabrielle, your hair looks nice today" or "That's a pretty outfit." She would have even settled for "Nice boots" or something. But no, instead, every day it was some weird effort at being funny mixed with some inappropriately sexual content: like the morning when she was pumping water out of a well for Xena and he off-handedly commented that she must be fun on dates. Stuff like that. They weren't come-ons; he wasn't trying to put the moves on her or anything, he apparently just thought he was being funny, but it made her wonder... just how often, when he looked at her, did his mind go straight into the gutter?

Then yesterday had been the worst one yet. Though she couldn't really blame him for having his mind in the gutter, under the circumstances... but it would have been *awfully* nice if he could have just put the whole situation into a little more context...

Honestly. "Three feet in my-" *Honestly*.

She'd been determined to put the whole event out of her head, and to never let anyone know it had happened, because she would never live it down. And much as she had feared the opposite, Joxer was evidently keeping his mouth shut. So far, anyway; give him a week, part of her said, and he'll forget that he promised and start blabbing about it to everyone. *She*, on the other hand, had no such plans or desires.

But then she couldn't stop thinking about it. And the more she thought about it the more it bugged her. Did it *mean* something...? Okay - okay, she knew what that line was *supposed* to mean, but putting THAT aside... He was NORMAL again, or normal for Joxer. And she *liked* him being normal for Joxer. And this was going to gnaw away at her and that meant...

That meant that she had to tell Xena.

She plopped down by the fire that night and stared at the embers until Xena said, "Okay, spill it."

"Um, I don't know what you're talking about...?"

"Don't even try that one. Something's bothering you, and if I recognize the facial tics correctly, it has to do with Joxer. If I recall correctly you spent a few hours in close confinement with him earlier today, so - spill."

Gabrielle took a deep breath - this was going to be hard to relive - and spilled.

***

"Three feet in your pants?" Xena asked bluntly.

Joxer, who was arranging spices in a portion of his knapsack that Xena had previously thought went unused, jumped about a mile. "Oh - uh, you heard about that, huh?" he asked, a little sheepishly, when he'd recovered. "Pretty good line, right?"

Xena didn't answer in words, but she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay." Joxer stopped and coughed, then looked at his hands, then started to say something. Then he stopped, laughed, cocked his head, and said, "Okay. See, here's the thing. Do you ever *try* to be funny?"

"Never."

After a moment of staring her in the face, during which Xena's stony expression did not shift, Joxer nodded. "Okay, I buy that. Well, lemme tell you something, it's *hard*."

"Clearly. Should I take this to mean that you try to be funny often?"

Joxer gave her a look. "You sure you're not trying to be funny right now?"

"Touche." Xena broke, and gave him a half-smile. "So. Trying to be funny makes you traumatize Gabrielle?"

"Aw man, she told you? I really didn't think she'd tell *any*one about that." He peered at her. "How MUCH did she tell you?"

"Enough for me to know you had a better day than she did."

"Heh." Joxer looked chagrined, and at the same time, giddy. He cleared his throat. "It was purely professional. I was just trying to lighten the mood, y'know, she takes these things really seriously so I just wanted to... y'know..."

"So you had her best intentions at heart."

"Absolutely!" He nodded emphatically. "As always!"

"And the 'you must be fun on a date' thing..."

"That was a compliment!" he sputtered.

"Mm-hmm. And so referring to her 'buns of steel'-"

"She is in *great* shape."

"Of course." Xena nodded, then cocked her head. "Joxer, lemme ask you something..."

But Joxer was already sighing and lowering his head. "Okay, *okay*, I know. I sound like a jerk. You think I don't know?"

"Actually, I am a little surprised to hear this."

"Well, I do. But I'm... she... y'know, things aren't *normal*." He shrugged, and went back to organizing his spices - or trying to, since he didn't actually appear to be paying attention to what was what. "They haven't been normal in a while, and - y'know, they... I dunno. It just seemed like it was starting to bug her, anyway, so I thought I'd try to *pretend* things were normal, go back to the way things were before. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Gabby seems a lot more..."

"Relaxed. Definitely."

"Oh good, I'm not imagining that, then."

"Well, she was up until a day or two ago..."

Scratching evasively at his cheek, Joxer said innocently, "Uh-huh..."

"So. What's up with the comments, Joxer, and no bull."

"Whew. Okay. Fine." He pushed his lips out for a moment or two, face towards the sky and away from Xena, and then he said, "I get performance anxiety."

Xena bit back a snicker. "Nice."

Apparently relieved by her reaction, Joxer barely smothered a grin. "I just wanna keep things light, really, y'know? But it's hard to be funny all the time, and especially when I'm looking at her -" He paused and took a second to cough again, then restarted, "Especially when Gabrielle's kinda tense... So, I mean - well, look, I'd *love* to wake up every day and tell her how gorgeous she is in the mornings, but then I'd look like a creep who's always staring at her."

"Which you are," Xena reminded him wryly.

"I am *not*! C'mon, give me a break here, this is HARD for me!"

Smiling more softly, Xena said, "I know. I'm teasing. So instead of complimenting her you... what exactly?"

"Just goof around," he said insistently. "I mean, if some of the stuff that comes out *happens* to be about her..."

"What were you saying about performance anxiety?" she cut in.

He wilted directly. "Okay. I get nervous. Not always, I'm fine most of the time, but when I'm joking with Gabby sometimes I get really, really nervous. And when I get nervous it- it all comes out wrong."

"That actually makes a lot of sense." Xena patted him on the knee.

"Few things are as nerve-wracking as having the woman you love stick her foot down your pants for the wrong reasons," Joxer said sagely.

Xena removed her hand and sighed. "You always gotta say something to ruin it, huh, Joxer?"

He sighed, too. "Yeah."

"All right," Xena said, and pushed herself to her feet - who had made the ground so damned *low*, that's what she wanted to know. "Well, I'll tell Gabrielle to lay off and give you some space so that you don't get so-"

"No no! Noooo, no no. I don't want her to know, okay?" He blinked at her, very sincerely, and added, "It'd mean a lot to me if you just didn't tell her any of this."

Well, then what *was* she supposed to tell the very antsy bard waiting for her to come back with an explanation? Xena sighed in exasperation. "Fine, I'll try and come up with something else. But don't blame me if it's no good."

Joxer gave her a twin thumbs-up sign and nodded, grinning broadly.

***

When Xena returned to the campsite where Gabrielle was waiting, she found the blonde scuffing hard at her boots, apparently engrossed. She sat down carefully and waited for Gabrielle to speak first.

"Okay, anything?" Gabrielle asked without looking at her boots.

"He's sorry," Xena said noncommittally, "and it wasn't meant to be offensive. He's just trying to be funny."

Gabrielle snorted. "Funny. Yeah. Funny guy, that Joxer."

"Have you tried asking him to stop? Because really, if he *knew* how much it bothered you, I bet he'd stop."

There was a pause, and Xena knew that Gabrielle had not bothered to do this, and that she was trying to justify the fact that she had no plans to do it later. Instead she held up a boot and examined it, but it was hard to tell if she was really looking at it or not. "He might," she said lightly. "But you never know with Joxer. Maybe if he knew it bothered me he'd just do it *more*."

That was a weak excuse, Xena thought. Oh well.

"I wonder how he'd like it if I blatantly harrassed *him*," Gabrielle continued. "Like if *I* made some kind of comment about what's in his pants."

"That's an awful thought."

"I know, I'm really wishing I hadn't said that right now," Gabrielle said, squinching up her nose in distaste. "But still. You know what? Tomorrow I'm gonna give him a taste of his own medicine. See how he likes the shoe on the other foot." She put her boot down decisively.

***

The day dawned brightly, and most of their party did as well. Gabrielle was not in the best of moods, but she felt passable. Mostly she was distracted, watching Joxer, waiting for the moment to strike - the moment when inspiration would hit her and she could find something to pounce on him for. ...Figuratively. She would *figuratively* pounce on him. And then she would take him *down*.

The opportunity arose after breakfast, when they were packing up and Xena asked Joxer to pack up her bedroll along with his own, due to her back feeling stiff. Joxer did it - though under loud protest, which earned him a dirty look from the pregnant lady - and it was while he was on his hands and knees that Gabrielle knew the moment had arrived.

She was utterly unprepared, however. Come on, Gabrielle - just say something deliberately embarrassing. Something rude, something that'll make him feel like a piece of meat. Come *on*.

"Hey Joxer!" she called abruptly, "nice butt!"

Joxer straightened up and turned to look at her, his expression one of total shock. Within seconds the shock disappeared, replaced by a very surprised delight. "Wow - thanks!" he said.

"Oh Gods," Gabrielle muttered to herself in horror and put her hand over her mouth.

"Can't really blame you for noticing," Joxer said with a grin, and leaned back over. "Actually, I've been workin' out..."

"Well, Gabrielle, that was very kind of you," said Xena in the even, almost disinterested tone of voice she used when she was laughing on the inside.

The hand over Gabrielle's mouth skipped up to cover her eyes as the bard lowered her head. "What have I *done*...?" she muttered.

So much for normal.

*****

End.

#5949 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:55 am
Subject: FF: What's One More Skill Either Way [one-shot]
adobe_lan
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This one just came to me this afternoon.  Thank heaven - I wasn't sure I'd be
able to come up with an idea for Back in the Bottle...

Title: What's One More Skill Either Way
Author: Xebbie
Rating: G
Summary: After "Back in the Bottle", Xena's control over the power she learned
from Lao Ma is still not great.
Spoilers: Anything up to "Back in the Bottle"
Notes: Written really quickly, not beta'd or edited, so mistakes are inevitable.
Plus I spell Chinese names differently from the show - I have no idea why I'm so
resistant to "Pao Ssu", but I just AM.
Disclaimer: XWP and all that stuff that comes from it is not mine (it's
RenPics/Rob Tapert's) and this is a work of fanfiction.

*****

For a brief moment on the battlefield, she'd understood it; she'd known, or more
accurately *felt*, exactly what to do.  And although it wasn't pretty, it had
gotten the job done.  Khan and his army weren't going to be a threat anymore,
and Ming Tien and Pao Tsu certainly were out of the picture.

Although things hadn't seemed quite as clear once Xena and her friends had
started the trip home, she was still making headway and she was confident that
the power would stay with her this time.  The battle had given her all that
adrenalin, of course, and just like before that had driven her abilities to use
the force the way she'd wanted; the adrenalin, and the strongly-felt presence of
Lao Ma, had helped to guide her hand... but she was making headway.  More
practice was all that was needed.

And for a few days that seemed to be true.  As they made their way across the
countryside, she felt the improvement.  She felt it deep within; she was within
reach of embracing Lao Ma's legacy and understanding it for good, this time.

But then, as before, it began to slip away.  For a short while Xena let herself
believe that she was just having a brief backstep, and she could work hard to
overcome it; but once they were well and safely on a boat with Chin at their
backs, she had to admit to the fact that the power was fading.  She couldn't
call up a good force field anymore, and she was downright afraid to try
explosions.  And of course, in her condition,  she hadn't even dared to *try*
levitation even when she'd been doing well.

Gabrielle didn't need to be told; she could see the abilities dwindling in
Xena's everyday practice, and more, she could see it in Xena's face.  "Do you
think it's something that you can only do in Chin?" she asked thoughtfully one
night, when it was just the two of them up on the deck of the boat; Joxer was
off somewhere and they were enjoying the quiet and talking only intermittently.

"I had been thinking about that," Xena acknowledged.  "It shouldn't matter...
it's supposed to be about purity of mind and spirit."  She shifted in her spot. 
"Even if it is something to do with the country, I'm sure Lao Ma or someone who
understands her power so well could wield it anywhere."

"Maybe it's just that Greece has too much conflict," Gabrielle suggested.  "You
can't relax and get within yourself the way you can in Chin."

"Given what we just went through with the black powder, I'm not sure 'relax' is
the right word," Xena said, amused; but Gabrielle did have a point.  As hectic
and dangerous as the black powder had been, being in Lao Ma's native land - and
away from Xena's own - did give her a peace of mind she rarely felt in Greece. 
Maybe it was because the danger there was so *personal*.

"I'm going to keep trying," Xena promised, looking Gabrielle in the eyes.  "I
know I'm not in the best condition to fight, and that's just going to get more
and more true -"

"That's why I'm here," Gabrielle answered quickly.  "You don't need to prove
anything, Xena."

"I can't ask anyone to let me rely on them."

"Anyone except me."

Good old Gabrielle.  Xena smiled.

***

When they docked in Greece, Joxer was in high spirits.  "Boy - are *you* gonna
have something to show the bad guys now, huh?" he said loudly.  "You don't even
have to jump on their heads anymore, you can just -" He wiggled his fingers and
put on a dramatically spooky face.  "You still gonna do the battle cry, though? 
I think you might wanna keep doing that. Keeps 'em on their toes."

"Actually," Xena interjected, sharing a quick look with Gabrielle, "it looks
like the power didn't follow me back from Chin."

"You serious?  After *all that*?!"  Joxer was not only shocked, he was clearly
disappointed.  He looked to Gabrielle for confirmation, and the bard gave a
shrug and smiled, then patted him consolingly on the shoulder before walking
off.  Before he took off to catch up with her, he added to Xena, "On second
though, it did look like you were having better luck with the stoning than with
anything else, and, uh... Yeah, maybe I'm not so upset if you give that one up."
He gave her a significant look and stalked off after Gabrielle.

Xena picked up the rear, and stayed there even after they'd recovered Argo and
Amber.  Gabrielle alternated between riding alongside her, and taking the front
point, while Joxer kept up intermittent attempts at getting Gabrielle into a
conversation, then dropping off into his own world.  Xena, meanwhile, lost
herself for a while in thought.

When they set camp that night, Joxer and Gabrielle were on shared food detail -
yet again - and Xena took advantage of it for just one more night.  After they'd
come back with a rabbit and a few other potential meal items, she sent them off
on an invented need for a few more things.

Actually, if this worked, they'd *need* a bit more food.  Well...  She mentally
crossed her fingers, and concentrated hard on the rabbit.

Stone.

Turn to stone.  You're not flesh, not fur, you're smooth solid rock within and
without; no heart, no organs within, just stone.  Turn to stone.

She closed her eyes and tried to  feel it in every part of her body.

*Stone.*

When she opened them, the rabbit was not stone.

It was, however, cleaned and nicely cooked, and it smelled terrific.  Xena
stared at it for a few moments, then looked around carefully.  No one else was
in sight.

"Yeah," she said, and knelt down to pick up the rabbit meat and prepare it for
her friends, "I think I'm gonna keep this one under wraps."

*****

End

(c) 2012 by Xebbie.

Notes: Was there ever an explanation for why Xena doesn't keep using this power
she's rediscovered?  It's hard to tell at the end of BITB if she's got it
figured out again or if it's "using" her again.  I guess maybe the episode is
supposed to imply that she just gets taken over and doesn't intentionally turn
them to stone, that's just what the  power does, and since she can't control it
she gives it up... but I totally didn't get that, and I think I'm not the only
one who didn't.  Oh well.

Bet you thought I was gonna do something with Lin Chi or Joxer and Gabrielle,
huh?  Well, I *really* wanted to avoid that.  I can't be blindingly obvious all
the time. :P  VARIETY darn it!

Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Lao Ma, Pao Tsu, Ming Tien, and the unmentioned Kao Hsin
are all the property of RenPics and are used without permission.

#5950 From: Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...>
Date: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:36 pm
Subject: Re: FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
esbeckras
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Thanks, Susan!
 
R.

--- On Fri, 7/20/12, Susan Owens <sasondo42@...> wrote:

From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Subject: Re: [jffg] FF: Inappropriate [one-shot]
To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, July 20, 2012, 9:54 PM




Cute

Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)
 
 



#5951 From: "Xebbie St. Hubbins" <adobe_lan@...>
Date: Fri Aug 3, 2012 1:49 am
Subject: FF: On the Inside [one-shot]
adobe_lan
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Okay - I'm sending this to the JFFG even though Joxer isn't in it.  Because he
is mentioned in it.  So... THERE.

***

Title: On the Inside
Author: Xebbie
Summary: Gabrielle reflects on who she is and what she's accomplished... and
what others think of that.
Timeline: Post-"Little Problems".
Rating: G, I think
Characters: Gabrielle; Xena, Aphrodite, and Joxer mentioned.  Oh, and Pao Tsu, I
think perhaps because I like to write her name.
Disclaimer: Not mine; characters, episode, and show are all (c) RenPics.

*****

Looking back over the day, Gabrielle felt a certain sense of satisfaction.

She'd come so *far* as a warrior.  The Way of Love seemed like such a long time
ago now, even though she knew it hadn't even been a full year since she'd left
it...  And even the fighting skills she'd discovered with her rebirth hadn't
been *this* honed.  She was learning quickly, constantly, and she felt
justifiably proud of herself.

As of today she was proficient with sword, sai, *and* she could add a flaming
bolero to her list, which not a whole lot of people other than probably Xena
could say.  Plus she'd taken down Castor and Pollux - maybe not precisely
single-handedly but then again, it wasn't as if she could really credit
Aphrodite with much of the actual *wrestling*.  It was more like she'd been
needed as the extra set of -  uh... brains.  Yeah.

Yeah, right.  Aphrodite and brains.  These two concepts were not the kind that
easily went together.

Still, Gabrielle thought, she had every reason to feel pleased with herself. 
She trained hard - these abilities didn't just come out of *nowhere* - she
trained and fought and concentrated, and it was such a relief to see results. 
She thought sometimes of the soft little girl she had been, and felt amazed by
who she was now.

Gabrielle, the self-designated Bard of Poteidaia, would not have been able to
hold off half a warlord's army with a single sai.  She would not have been able
to defend Xena's soulless body from attackers with her wits and a whip alone. 
Heck, the way their adventures used to go, she'd have been more likely to *be*
the soulless body, with Xena the one defending and rescuing *her*.

She was still really, really proud of that whip/flaming bolero trick.  That was
just *neat*.

And the part that stung, the part that she couldn't get over, was that Xena
hadn't seen ANY  of it.  Every time Gabrielle was at her best, Xena wasn't there
to see it.  Xena saw it when Gabrielle stumbled, when she took a misstep and got
captured and held hostage (Joxer's fault, she was sure, if Joxer hadn't been
there slowing her down Pao Tsu would never have - well whatever) or got her butt
kicked on the astral plan - she even felt Gabrielle's fear from miles away.

Well, did that one work in reverse?  Did she share the accomplishments?  Did she
believe in them or was she always going to see Gabrielle as "in training"?  Xena
had, some time ago, banished the use of the word "sidekick"; they were partners,
equals.  But Xena still hogged the fights.  She still couldn't let Gabrielle
take on an even share of the attackers.  She still protected her instinctively,
and most annoyingly, Gabrielle always faltered when Xena was watching.  Left to
her own devices, nothing to fall back on, Gabrielle *won*.

But she wasn't sure Xena would ever see that.  How much harder did she have to
push; how much farther did she have to go, for her to notice?

It had been a long, long time since Gabrielle had written or composed much of
anything.  She didn't  want to come out and state that she'd lost her writing
ability, but deep down, she felt it.  And that was how she'd defined herself for
years - and it was how everyone else had defined her, as well... With the loss
of her bard skills, Gabrielle felt ready to define herself as a Warrior.  Like
Xena.

But no one else was taking that view.  To them she was still the Bard, which
meant she was a hanger-on, a sidekick, a child.  A Bard could not be a Warrior,
and a Warrior could not be a Bard.  She'd tried to be both.  It didn't work. 
She knew she was no longer a Bard, but if nobody thought of her as a Warrior
except herself, then what did that make her?  ...Well, if she was anything like
Joxer, slightly delusional.

And also lost.  Undefined and floating and lost.  If the identity she chose to
live by wasn't acknowledged by anyone else, then Gabrielle was no one... a
cipher.  Someone for whom everyone could see what they wanted to see.  And
sometimes at night, Gabrielle worried over that thought.  What did Xena really
see in her?  What did Joxer see?  What did either of them take her for, that
they loved her so devotedly?

Did either of them love her for how she thought of *herself*?  Or did they have
any idea at all of just what Gabrielle, herself, thought?

No.  She was a Warrior, and she knew it, and she lived it.  And that mattered. 
And someday she'd manage to get everyone else to see it too; they'd have to. 
Because she knew who she was.  Xena couldn't keep trying to protect her forever,
and someday she'd see that Gabrielle was an adult and could take care of 
herself - not only of herself, but of Xena, and Xena's baby as well.  And that
day, they'd truly be equals.

But boy, if only she'd been awake to see that bolero trick.  That was just
*neat*.


***

End

Notes: This is my least favourite title I've come up with so far.
Kind of a weak story, too.  But I had a hard time coming up with any plot
threads I wanted to explore with this one.  I had an idea involving Aphrodite
blabbing to all the Gods about Xena's pregnancy, but I couldn't think of much to
go in it beyond - well, what I just wrote. ^^;  Besides, she had no actual
reaction to the pregnancy in the episode so it's a bit of a stretch.  Then this
one kind of came out of nowhere today.
Note how I couldn't keep from sticking Joxer in there.  Because this is who I
am! :D  My rule with these is to not go beyond what the episodes give us, but
I'm also trying to build on all of them as I go, and keep them all in mind as I
write the next ones.  The series is an effort to do a bunch of one-shots that
also build on the season, AND my previous fics, but each one can still be read
individually.
Yeah, this is kind of an ambitious goal. XD  But I'm 8 eps in and still going!
Anyway, point being, I stuck Joxer in because even though he's not a presence in
the episode, I want to create a cohesive whole for the season and my fics, and
as I see it, it makes sense that Gabrielle would have him on her mind when she's
thinking about how others see her.  After all, believe me, when you find out
someone is unexpectedly in love with you, you DO tend to wonder what they think
of when they see you.  Trust me on that.

As always, this is a work of fanfiction and no copyright infringement is
intended.  "Xena" is owned by StudiosUSA, RenPics, and Rob Tapert.

#5952 From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Date: Thu Aug 9, 2012 11:36 pm
Subject: FF: Lost & Found
studmuffin_jer
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Young Xebbie asked me if I could scribe a short story whilst I'm pondering my next moves on the Lyrics challenge (2 months late & running I think :oP)  but I don't do short stories. I do short...ish stories LOL
But nevertheless, I cobbled together something from Monday morning to this evening just before I left work to come home, from a random part of 3rd Series. 
Not sure what the inspiration was exactly, aside from a couple of lines from a Susan Fassbender song (she of 'Twilight Cafe' fame) which kept hanging in my head;
"....I saw you chasing the cloud in the sun, I heard you say you were lost..."
So I wondered about what might happen if  Gabby's & Xena's stuff from times past just suddenly turned up, & then it just went on from there.

Xebbie was kind enough to say it passed muster, so I'm posting it here for your perusal....


Cheers,
                    Jer,  blathering too much as usual...



Lost & Found

 
“Let’s stop here for a minute,” Gabrielle said.
 
Xena arched her eyebrows questioningly, from atop her mare, the trio stopping on a quiet country road. There was nothing or no-one about as far as the eye could see.
 
“The well,” Gabrielle explained, pointing to one a short distance away.
“I’m thirsty.”
 
“Okay Gabrielle,” Xena said, feeling the beat of the sun on her back & a few patches of sweat beneath her armour
“Let’s see if there’s anything in there first.”
 
She dropped nimbly to the ground in a showy dismount & picked up a random stone. Leaning over the ground cavity, she dropped it & cupped her ear to listen. After a pause, she lifted her head & turned to Gabrielle.
 
“There is, but not much by the sound of it. Probably not been much rain around here recently,” she said.
 
Gabrielle bounced over to the winch & heaved hard at it over several hefty turns, pulling up what she hoped was a full bucket. It was, with an unwanted guest.
 
“You,” Xena told the frog, removing it to the well’s edge.
“We don’t need. Shoo!”
 
It croaked reproachfully at her, then hopped back in & landed with a splash. Its croaks could be heard echoing around the well.
 
“Now we’ve got rid of him, let’s have a drink,” Xena announced.
“I think we could both take a few minutes to cool down. It *is* a warm day, you’ve just worked up a sweat & Argo could do with a drink & washdown too. Couldn’t you, Girl?”
 
The horse gave her head a mild shake & whinnied softly in apparent accord. Xena gave her a reassuring pat & unhooked the pail, casually passing it to Gabrielle. The younger girl buckled under the weight but managed not to drop it, giving Xena a filthy look in return.
 
“Oof! That’s heavy,” she breathed, spilling a little.
 
Xena lifted easily what her comrade was struggling with & placed it upon the ground. Cupping her hands, she soaked her hair & brushed her fingers through. The cooling sensation felt much better & she had a drink for good measure.
 
“You’re right Gabrielle, I do feel much better,” Xena said breezily.
 
Gabrielle gave her comrade another look before doing likewise. The remainder of the water was left for Argo, who drank her fill & settled for a light graze. Xena took this as an opportunity to give her a clean & brush down, dismantling the saddle, bags & other equipment & putting neatly to one side. It looked they were going to be a while longer yet, so Gabrielle leant up against the side of the well & dove into her scroll bag. There were a few notes she wanted to tag onto their last adventure, & she wanted to do it whilst it was still fresh in her mind.
 
“Oh bother!”
 
“What’s the matter?”
 
Xena lifted her head up from Argo to see Gabrielle looking mournfully down the well.
 
“Knocked my ink pot down there,” Gabrielle said sadly.
“I’ve only got what’s left in my quill. Damn. I was hoping to finish off that last scroll too.”
 
Xena felt a hopeful glance point her way, & shook her head with a slight smile.
 
“Sorry Gabrielle, I have no desire to climb down a dark, dirty well, even for your last inkpot. Not that I would fit well in any case.”
 
Gabrielle looked again at the well. It was true that it was somewhat narrower than was usual, leaving room for the bucket & not much else. And as slender as Xena was, it wouldn’t be a fun climb up & down. And the less said about herself climbing down the better. A ferret, she wasn’t.
 
“Hold up Gabrielle,” Xena called out, looking up the road.
“There’s a caravan coming, maybe they might have some ink you can buy.”
 
Gabrielle perked up at the news, her mind turning to haggling in an instant. Now the likely prices of goods were flicking through her brain, mulling over what her counter-prices should be & what goods she needed. The procession of carts rumbled up the road, coming nearer & the two women got up to take a closer look.
 
There were about 6 covered wagons about a foot or two apart, two horses & a solitary driver per cart. They trotted at a snail’s pace, each horse keeping perfect time.
 
“Ho! What’s for sale?” Xena hailed them
 
“For sale?” the lead driver frowned.
“What are your names?”
 
“I’m Xena,” Xena said.
 
“I’m Gabrielle,” the bard said brightly.
 
She wore a cheery smile like a badge, hoping to put the caravan at ease.
 
“George!” the first man called out, to his counterpart behind.
“Have you got anything for a Gabrielle or a Xena?”
 
“Not I, Achilles,” George said & promptly turned about.
“Hector! How about you? Xena or Gabrielle?”
 
“No joy here, George,” Hector answered.
“Xenaphon? Xena or Gabrielle?”
 
“Afraid not,” Xenaphon replied.
“Ajax?”
 
“Aye, I have,” the fifth driver said.
“Come on up.”
 
“Why did you ask whether you have anything for us when you don’t know what we want?” Xena said curiously.
 
“Because this isn’t a normal caravan,” Achilles answered.
“This is a Lost Property caravan.”
 
“A lost property caravan?” Gabrielle echoed.
“What in Tartarus do you sell?”
“Sell – none,” Hector explained.
“But we have everything that was ever lost by someone, & if we find them we offer it back to them. Not everything, because some things you definitely wouldn’t want.”
 
“Everything?” Gabrielle said again.
 
“Everything,” George said firmly.
 
“What sort of thing wouldn’t we want?” Xena asked.
 
“Take your pick,” Ajax said.
“A filthy headband, a threadbare pair of knickers, dropped bread crusts, a worn out whetstone, a worn out quill, tattered saddle, a dried up piece of soap – “
 
“Okay, okay, we get the point,” Xena interrupted.
 
“So what *do* you have?” Gabrielle enquired.
 
“This is yours,” Ajax said, retrieving a large wooden box from his cart & tipping out the contents on the ground before the pair.
“But beware, some things are not what they appear.”
 
With this curious advice ringing in their ears, the bard & the warrior peered at what lay before them:
A clay model of a reptile, a wooden ball, a loaf of bread, a length of string attached to a piece of leather & a small blank piece of cotton material within a frame. The two women crouched on their haunches, picking through the medley of mystery items.
 
“Well, that one’s easy enough,” Xena said confidently, pointing to the leather & string item.
“That’s my whip.”
 
So indeed it was, as it transformed into the familiar grip & leather strap Xena knew so well. She gave it a toss of the wrist, getting the feel of it once again. The extended cord still felt as pliable as ever, & she reached back behind her to let rip. Gabrielle blocked her ears in expectation.
 
Cr-r-r-ack!
 
“Damn, that feels good!” Xena exclaimed happily as the sound reverberated around the caravan.
“Must be a good few yew years back now, I can’t even think where I lost her. Always gave me extra options in a fight.”
 
“It’s *loud* too,” Gabrielle called out, her hands still covering her ears.
 
Xena gave her an amused look, but deigned to coil it up on the hook she still had on her belt for it & sat down again.
 
“Okay, your turn Gabrielle,” she said.
 
“I’ve got another,” the bard exclaimed.
“That clay figure of a frog, I think that’s my ink pot I just lost. I bet it landed on the frog in the well or something. The model’s got a large black marking on it as if it had an ink spill on it.”
 
Gabrielle’s ink pot appeared as if by magic. She lifted it up, seeing how much ink was left in it & was relieved to see there was more than enough left. The urge to see to her scroll was strong, but so was the curiosity as to what the other objects were. In the end, curiosity won out, so she secreted the precious container back in her scroll bag. Picking the bread up, the blonde sniffed it, before breaking a piece off & passing the loaf to her friend who shrugged in response.
 
“Hmm, fresh nutbread,” Gabrielle mused.
“Tastes nice, can’t think of what it might be though.”
 
“Nutbread, huh?” Xena said, then grinned broadly.
“Conducted any rock choirs lately?”
 
“Gods, don’t remind me,” Gabrielle grimaced, holding her head in her hands.
“That wasn’t my finest hour.”
 
She suddenly turned to Xena in triumph, her eyes shining.
 
“It’s my scroll of ‘Altared States’! I lost that in
ooo 
when was it? The tsunami, I think, when we barely survived on the high seas. I remember searching for it for an eternity after we scrambled to the shore, but I thought it had been lost forever.”
 
She picked up the scroll, carefully returning it to her bag hanging on her shoulder.
 
“My turn again, I guess,” Xena said, stroking her chin thoughtfully, looking over the ball & picture frame.
 
She dropped the ball onto the ground & it bounced up obligingly back into her hand. The picture with no image drew a blank, but when she drew it closer, there was the faintest of letters that were visible.
 
‘Guilt’
 
Guilt? What could guilt have to do with a picture? Guilt
guilt
guilt?
 
A forefinger tapped her upper lip as the Warrior Princess puzzled over the odd picture. She rubbed her chest absent-mindedly as she pondered the answer, then looked down at where she’d been rubbing.
 
On her heart. 
 
‘Lyceus’ she whispered, & she held within her hand instead a small frameless picture of her younger brother.
 
She held it close to her with feeling, then showed it to Gabrielle.
 
“Lyceus,” Gabrielle nodded.
“How long?”
 
“Too long,” Xena sighed.
“Comforting to have his picture back again though.”
 
“What’s the ball, do you think?” Gabrielle asked, after Xena had placed her picture safely within her person.
 
“No idea,” Xena shrugged.
“Must mean something. Hey, Ajax - “
 
She looked up to ask the driver something, but the convoy had gone - the wheeltracks leading off in another direction – whilst they’d been looking over the treasure trove.
 
“Wonder who they were?” Gabrielle said, scrambling to her feet.
 
“No idea, but whoever they were, they did us a good turn,” Xena said, doing likewise.
“Can’t say I’m not grateful.”
 
“That’s for sure,” her friend agreed.
“Let’s find the next village & celebrate.”
 
“And in the meantime,” Xena said, re-mounting Argo who’d been waiting patiently.
“We can try to figure out what this ball might mean.”
 
“*You* can work that out,” Gabrielle declared.
“I’m going to read through ‘Altared States’ again.”
 
Xena rolled her eyes, but now Gabrielle had her beloved scroll back again, nothing was going to distract her until she’d read it from beginning to end – possibly several times.The road was quiet with the caravan gone, just the sound of Argo’s hooves walking, the ‘thwap-thwap’ of Xena idly tossing the ball hand-to-hand, & the ‘tap
tap’ of Gabrielle’s staff by her side. With eyes & instincts watching the surroundings as keenly as ever, Xena kept a corner of her mind free to wonder over the mysterious ball. Or at least until something more urgent came up.
 
What could it mean? Frankly, she was at a loss to explain it. It didn’t remind her of anything.
 
She tried bouncing it on the ground whilst mounted & moving, but the ball just hit the ground & came back into her hand. She squinted at it oddly. It shouldn’t be able to bounce that high, even though it was a metaphor & not an actual object. The weight & balance seemed off though, a sort of unnatural spring within it, almost as if
.Naah!
 
She stifled a laugh at the comical thought that had just occurred to her, but the bard was oblivious to such musings. Gabrielle had her head buried in the scroll, almost literally.
 
“Gabrielle, there’s been an earthquake in Potidaea,” Xena said experimentally.
 
“Hmm?” Gabrielle said distractedly, half-lifting her head to look about.
“Oh, er, lovely. That’s very good.”
 
Xena had the feeling that she didn’t have the blonde’s full attention, which had in any case vanished again. She rolled her eyes again, then smiled nastily. If she was right, she was about to get all of Gabrielle’s attention. There was a slight narrowing of the road ahead of them, where it led uphill on a gradual incline & where was a cluster of rocks on either side. Xena looked at the highway ahead & began to assess angles & ricochets for the desired result, though thankfully not on the grand scale of the never-ending-day. Then she let fly.
 
The ball pinged from her hand, striking the largest rock first, then bouncing off several smaller ones, almost in a zigzag pattern, the slope & then following in a high arc back towards them. Specifically, back towards Gabrielle.
 
“Gabrielle, heads up!” Xena said loudly.
 
“Hmm, what? Oh, right. Catch,” her ally said unenthusiastically, reluctantly putting her scroll under arm to catch the errant sphere.
 
As the wooden ball flew towards the cupped hands, Xena muttered something that Gabrielle couldn’t quite hear.
 
She was fully aware of it a few moments later though when the nondescript ball changed form to someone about to land on top of her. Her eyes widened in shock, & although her instincts weren’t slow, she was caught like a deer in torchlight. And as adaptable as her hands were, they simply weren’t suited to catching a human about to crash-dive onto her.
 
“
.aaargh!” was Joxer’s opening greeting, arms & legs flailing in a vain attempt to stabilise his uncontrolled flight.
 
Needless to say, it didn’t work.
 
He crashed into, & on top of Gabrielle who had the breath knocked out of her as she landed on her back. It became a curious melee of bodies as they both fought & counter-fought to get up from their prone position. Xena did not help, she was having far too much fun watching their predicament.
 
“Gabrielle, I solved the mystery of the ball,” Xena said gleefully, leaning over the side of Argo to peer at the pair on the ground.
 
“Great,” Gabrielle said in an underwhelmed tone.
 
“Didn’t you catch Joxer?”
 
“No.”
 
“Aren’t you pleased we found him?”
 
“Yay.”
 
Joxer’s conversation was somewhat stilled by having his head buried in Gabrielle’s stomach & skirt, though he probably wasn’t complaining much.
 
“I’ll go check out the next village whilst you pick yourselves up. I’m sure you’ve got lots of things to talk about.”
 
The solitary replay was a snort, implying that Gabrielle was not fully looking towards the prospect & would in due course be telling Xena so.
 
Xena, though, was not hanging about to find out & led Argo to a brisk trot uphill to the next hamlet. A broad smile covered her lips as she left her friends behind, picturing the fun conversation that would currently ongoing. Like how he was a metaphor for a ball, or what happens when you eat bad nutbread - because she could just bet that Gabrielle hadn’t passed *that* little gem onto Joxer - & if he even so much as wrinkled her precious recovered scroll, he was going to get soooo much stick from her.
 
Curious how Joxer always manage to add a little bit of chaos into their otherwise ordered lives, but then a little bit of chaos was good for the soul. Kind of like Gabrielle was telling her to smell the flowers, it would be like Joxer telling her to smell Asafoetida
 which was not the most fragrant smell ever.
 
But he was decidedly different. And more importantly, he was their friend.

#5953 From: Susan Owens <sasondo42@...>
Date: Fri Aug 10, 2012 5:19 pm
Subject: Re: FF: Lost & Found
sasondo42
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A ball? Joxer a ball I like this Jerry. I do wonder how Xena figure the ball out unless balls come bouncing back and so does Joxer. No matter how they treated him he always bounce back.


Susie Owens ( Murdock, Ray, and Joxer lover)

--- On Thu, 8/9/12, Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...> wrote:

From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Subject: [jffg] FF: Lost & Found
To: "GJRS@yahoogroups.com" <GJRS@yahoogroups.com>, "jffg@yahoogroups.com" <jffg@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Thursday, August 9, 2012, 7:36 PM

 
Young Xebbie asked me if I could scribe a short story whilst I'm pondering my next moves on the Lyrics challenge (2 months late & running I think :oP)  but I don't do short stories. I do short...ish stories LOL
But nevertheless, I cobbled together something from Monday morning to this evening just before I left work to come home, from a random part of 3rd Series. 
Not sure what the inspiration was exactly, aside from a couple of lines from a Susan Fassbender song (she of 'Twilight Cafe' fame) which kept hanging in my head;
"....I saw you chasing the cloud in the sun, I heard you say you were lost..."
So I wondered about what might happen if  Gabby's & Xena's stuff from times past just suddenly turned up, & then it just went on from there.

Xebbie was kind enough to say it passed muster, so I'm posting it here for your perusal....


Cheers,
                    Jer,  blathering too much as usual...



Lost & Found

 
“Let’s stop here for a minute,” Gabrielle said.
 
Xena arched her eyebrows questioningly, from atop her mare, the trio stopping on a quiet country road. There was nothing or no-one about as far as the eye could see.
 
“The well,” Gabrielle explained, pointing to one a short distance away.
“I’m thirsty.”
 
“Okay Gabrielle,” Xena said, feeling the beat of the sun on her back & a few patches of sweat beneath her armour
“Let’s see if there’s anything in there first.”
 
She dropped nimbly to the ground in a showy dismount & picked up a random stone. Leaning over the ground cavity, she dropped it & cupped her ear to listen. After a pause, she lifted her head & turned to Gabrielle.
 
“There is, but not much by the sound of it. Probably not been much rain around here recently,” she said.
 
Gabrielle bounced over to the winch & heaved hard at it over several hefty turns, pulling up what she hoped was a full bucket. It was, with an unwanted guest.
 
“You,” Xena told the frog, removing it to the well’s edge.
“We don’t need. Shoo!”
 
It croaked reproachfully at her, then hopped back in & landed with a splash. Its croaks could be heard echoing around the well.
 
“Now we’ve got rid of him, let’s have a drink,” Xena announced.
“I think we could both take a few minutes to cool down. It *is* a warm day, you’ve just worked up a sweat & Argo could do with a drink & washdown too. Couldn’t you, Girl?”
 
The horse gave her head a mild shake & whinnied softly in apparent accord. Xena gave her a reassuring pat & unhooked the pail, casually passing it to Gabrielle. The younger girl buckled under the weight but managed not to drop it, giving Xena a filthy look in return.
 
“Oof! That’s heavy,” she breathed, spilling a little.
 
Xena lifted easily what her comrade was struggling with & placed it upon the ground. Cupping her hands, she soaked her hair & brushed her fingers through. The cooling sensation felt much better & she had a drink for good measure.
 
“You’re right Gabrielle, I do feel much better,” Xena said breezily.
 
Gabrielle gave her comrade another look before doing likewise. The remainder of the water was left for Argo, who drank her fill & settled for a light graze. Xena took this as an opportunity to give her a clean & brush down, dismantling the saddle, bags & other equipment & putting neatly to one side. It looked they were going to be a while longer yet, so Gabrielle leant up against the side of the well & dove into her scroll bag. There were a few notes she wanted to tag onto their last adventure, & she wanted to do it whilst it was still fresh in her mind.
 
“Oh bother!”
 
“What’s the matter?”
 
Xena lifted her head up from Argo to see Gabrielle looking mournfully down the well.
 
“Knocked my ink pot down there,” Gabrielle said sadly.
“I’ve only got what’s left in my quill. Damn. I was hoping to finish off that last scroll too.”
 
Xena felt a hopeful glance point her way, & shook her head with a slight smile.
 
“Sorry Gabrielle, I have no desire to climb down a dark, dirty well, even for your last inkpot. Not that I would fit well in any case.”
 
Gabrielle looked again at the well. It was true that it was somewhat narrower than was usual, leaving room for the bucket & not much else. And as slender as Xena was, it wouldn’t be a fun climb up & down. And the less said about herself climbing down the better. A ferret, she wasn’t.
 
“Hold up Gabrielle,” Xena called out, looking up the road.
“There’s a caravan coming, maybe they might have some ink you can buy.”
 
Gabrielle perked up at the news, her mind turning to haggling in an instant. Now the likely prices of goods were flicking through her brain, mulling over what her counter-prices should be & what goods she needed. The procession of carts rumbled up the road, coming nearer & the two women got up to take a closer look.
 
There were about 6 covered wagons about a foot or two apart, two horses & a solitary driver per cart. They trotted at a snail’s pace, each horse keeping perfect time.
 
“Ho! What’s for sale?” Xena hailed them
 
“For sale?” the lead driver frowned.
“What are your names?”
 
“I’m Xena,” Xena said.
 
“I’m Gabrielle,” the bard said brightly.
 
She wore a cheery smile like a badge, hoping to put the caravan at ease.
 
“George!” the first man called out, to his counterpart behind.
“Have you got anything for a Gabrielle or a Xena?”
 
“Not I, Achilles,” George said & promptly turned about.
“Hector! How about you? Xena or Gabrielle?”
 
“No joy here, George,” Hector answered.
“Xenaphon? Xena or Gabrielle?”
 
“Afraid not,” Xenaphon replied.
“ Ajax ?”
 
“Aye, I have,” the fifth driver said.
“Come on up.”
 
“Why did you ask whether you have anything for us when you don’t know what we want?” Xena said curiously.
 
“Because this isn’t a normal caravan,” Achilles answered.
“This is a Lost Property caravan.”
 
“A lost property caravan?” Gabrielle echoed.
“What in Tartarus do you sell?”
“Sell – none,” Hector explained.
“But we have everything that was ever lost by someone, & if we find them we offer it back to them. Not everything, because some things you definitely wouldn’t want.”
 
“Everything?” Gabrielle said again.
 
“Everything,” George said firmly.
 
“What sort of thing wouldn’t we want?” Xena asked.
 
“Take your pick,” Ajax said.
“A filthy headband, a threadbare pair of knickers, dropped bread crusts, a worn out whetstone, a worn out quill, tattered saddle, a dried up piece of soap – “
 
“Okay, okay, we get the point,” Xena interrupted.
 
“So what *do* you have?” Gabrielle enquired.
 
“This is yours,” Ajax said, retrieving a large wooden box from his cart & tipping out the contents on the ground before the pair.
“But beware, some things are not what they appear.”
 
With this curious advice ringing in their ears, the bard & the warrior peered at what lay before them:
A clay model of a reptile, a wooden ball, a loaf of bread, a length of string attached to a piece of leather & a small blank piece of cotton material within a frame. The two women crouched on their haunches, picking through the medley of mystery items.
 
“Well, that one’s easy enough,” Xena said confidently, pointing to the leather & string item.
“That’s my whip.”
 
So indeed it was, as it transformed into the familiar grip & leather strap Xena knew so well. She gave it a toss of the wrist, getting the feel of it once again. The extended cord still felt as pliable as ever, & she reached back behind her to let rip. Gabrielle blocked her ears in expectation.
 
Cr-r-r-ack!
 
“Damn, that feels good!” Xena exclaimed happily as the sound reverberated around the caravan.
“Must be a good few yew years back now, I can’t even think where I lost her. Always gave me extra options in a fight.”
 
“It’s *loud* too,” Gabrielle called out, her hands still covering her ears.
 
Xena gave her an amused look, but deigned to coil it up on the hook she still had on her belt for it & sat down again.
 
“Okay, your turn Gabrielle,” she said.
 
“I’ve got another,” the bard exclaimed.
“That clay figure of a frog, I think that’s my ink pot I just lost. I bet it landed on the frog in the well or something. The model’s got a large black marking on it as if it had an ink spill on it.”
 
Gabrielle’s ink pot appeared as if by magic. She lifted it up, seeing how much ink was left in it & was relieved to see there was more than enough left. The urge to see to her scroll was strong, but so was the curiosity as to what the other objects were. In the end, curiosity won out, so she secreted the precious container back in her scroll bag. Picking the bread up, the blonde sniffed it, before breaking a piece off & passing the loaf to her friend who shrugged in response.
 
“Hmm, fresh nutbread,” Gabrielle mused.
“Tastes nice, can’t think of what it might be though.”
 
“Nutbread, huh?” Xena said, then grinned broadly.
“Conducted any rock choirs lately?”
 
“Gods, don’t remind me,” Gabrielle grimaced, holding her head in her hands.
“That wasn’t my finest hour.”
 
She suddenly turned to Xena in triumph, her eyes shining.
 
“It’s my scroll of ‘Altared States’! I lost that in
ooo 
when was it? The tsunami, I think, when we barely survived on the high seas. I remember searching for it for an eternity after we scrambled to the shore, but I thought it had been lost forever.”
 
She picked up the scroll, carefully returning it to her bag hanging on her shoulder.
 
“My turn again, I guess,” Xena said, stroking her chin thoughtfully, looking over the ball & picture frame.
 
She dropped the ball onto the ground & it bounced up obligingly back into her hand. The picture with no image drew a blank, but when she drew it closer, there was the faintest of letters that were visible.
 
‘Guilt’
 
Guilt? What could guilt have to do with a picture? Guilt
guilt
guilt?
 
A forefinger tapped her upper lip as the Warrior Princess puzzled over the odd picture. She rubbed her chest absent-mindedly as she pondered the answer, then looked down at where she’d been rubbing.
 
On her heart. 
 
‘Lyceus’ she whispered, & she held within her hand instead a small frameless picture of her younger brother.
 
She held it close to her with feeling, then showed it to Gabrielle.
 
“Lyceus,” Gabrielle nodded.
“How long?”
 
“Too long,” Xena sighed.
“Comforting to have his picture back again though.”
 
“What’s the ball, do you think?” Gabrielle asked, after Xena had placed her picture safely within her person.
 
“No idea,” Xena shrugged.
“Must mean something. Hey, Ajax - “
 
She looked up to ask the driver something, but the convoy had gone - the wheeltracks leading off in another direction – whilst they’d been looking over the treasure trove.
 
“Wonder who they were?” Gabrielle said, scrambling to her feet.
 
“No idea, but whoever they were, they did us a good turn,” Xena said, doing likewise.
“Can’t say I’m not grateful.”
 
“That’s for sure,” her friend agreed.
“Let’s find the next village & celebrate.”
 
“And in the meantime,” Xena said, re-mounting Argo who’d been waiting patiently.
“We can try to figure out what this ball might mean.”
 
“*You* can work that out,” Gabrielle declared.
“I’m going to read through ‘Altared States’ again.”
 
Xena rolled her eyes, but now Gabrielle had her beloved scroll back again, nothing was going to distract her until she’d read it from beginning to end – possibly several times.The road was quiet with the caravan gone, just the sound of Argo’s hooves walking, the ‘thwap-thwap’ of Xena idly tossing the ball hand-to-hand, & the ‘tap
tap’ of Gabrielle’s staff by her side. With eyes & instincts watching the surroundings as keenly as ever, Xena kept a corner of her mind free to wonder over the mysterious ball. Or at least until something more urgent came up.
 
What could it mean? Frankly, she was at a loss to explain it. It didn’t remind her of anything.
 
She tried bouncing it on the ground whilst mounted & moving, but the ball just hit the ground & came back into her hand. She squinted at it oddly. It shouldn’t be able to bounce that high, even though it was a metaphor & not an actual object. The weight & balance seemed off though, a sort of unnatural spring within it, almost as if
.Naah!
 
She stifled a laugh at the comical thought that had just occurred to her, but the bard was oblivious to such musings. Gabrielle had her head buried in the scroll, almost literally.
 
“Gabrielle, there’s been an earthquake in Potidaea ,” Xena said experimentally.
 
“Hmm?” Gabrielle said distractedly, half-lifting her head to look about.
“Oh, er, lovely. That’s very good.”
 
Xena had the feeling that she didn’t have the blonde’s full attention, which had in any case vanished again. She rolled her eyes again, then smiled nastily. If she was right, she was about to get all of Gabrielle’s attention. There was a slight narrowing of the road ahead of them, where it led uphill on a gradual incline & where was a cluster of rocks on either side. Xena looked at the highway ahead & began to assess angles & ricochets for the desired result, though thankfully not on the grand scale of the never-ending-day. Then she let fly.
 
The ball pinged from her hand, striking the largest rock first, then bouncing off several smaller ones, almost in a zigzag pattern, the slope & then following in a high arc back towards them. Specifically, back towards Gabrielle.
 
“Gabrielle, heads up!” Xena said loudly.
 
“Hmm, what? Oh, right. Catch,” her ally said unenthusiastically, reluctantly putting her scroll under arm to catch the errant sphere.
 
As the wooden ball flew towards the cupped hands, Xena muttered something that Gabrielle couldn’t quite hear.
 
She was fully aware of it a few moments later though when the nondescript ball changed form to someone about to land on top of her. Her eyes widened in shock, & although her instincts weren’t slow, she was caught like a deer in torchlight. And as adaptable as her hands were, they simply weren’t suited to catching a human about to crash-dive onto her.
 
“
.aaargh!” was Joxer’s opening greeting, arms & legs flailing in a vain attempt to stabilise his uncontrolled flight.
 
Needless to say, it didn’t work.
 
He crashed into, & on top of Gabrielle who had the breath knocked out of her as she landed on her back. It became a curious melee of bodies as they both fought & counter-fought to get up from their prone position. Xena did not help, she was having far too much fun watching their predicament.
 
“Gabrielle, I solved the mystery of the ball,” Xena said gleefully, leaning over the side of Argo to peer at the pair on the ground.
 
“Great,” Gabrielle said in an underwhelmed tone.
 
“Didn’t you catch Joxer?”
 
“No.”
 
“Aren’t you pleased we found him?”
 
“Yay.”
 
Joxer’s conversation was somewhat stilled by having his head buried in Gabrielle’s stomach & skirt, though he probably wasn’t complaining much.
 
“I’ll go check out the next village whilst you pick yourselves up. I’m sure you’ve got lots of things to talk about.”
 
The solitary replay was a snort, implying that Gabrielle was not fully looking towards the prospect & would in due course be telling Xena so.
 
Xena, though, was not hanging about to find out & led Argo to a brisk trot uphill to the next hamlet. A broad smile covered her lips as she left her friends behind, picturing the fun conversation that would currently ongoing. Like how he was a metaphor for a ball, or what happens when you eat bad nutbread - because she could just bet that Gabrielle hadn’t passed *that* little gem onto Joxer - & if he even so much as wrinkled her precious recovered scroll, he was going to get soooo much stick from her.
 
Curious how Joxer always manage to add a little bit of chaos into their otherwise ordered lives, but then a little bit of chaos was good for the soul. Kind of like Gabrielle was telling her to smell the flowers, it would be like Joxer telling her to smell Asafoetida
 which was not the most fragrant smell ever.
 
But he was decidedly different. And more importantly, he was their friend.

#5954 From: Jerry Hendy <studmuffin_jer@...>
Date: Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:11 pm
Subject: FF: Guardians & Angels
studmuffin_jer
Send Email Send Email
 
This is a story challenge Xedra gave me earlier this year that I'd undertaken, though it's only 1 chapter I'd written & just forgotten about, until talking to Xebbie the other day. So looks like I have three stories on the go now - busy bee, aren't I?  :)
 
This is more or less at the opening of 5th Series, so make of it as you will. Oh, & please bear in mind I have no knowledge of children whatsoever so it's all a bit of a shot in the dark I'm afraid....
 
 
Cheers,
                  Jer
 
Guardians & Angels
 
 
 
 
New places, new faces, it was going to take a while to get her head around it all. She was nothing if flexible though, she’d learn to adapt before, she could again.
 
This time was a little different though. It was one thing to go to a new country & learn languages & cultures, quite another to do that in another realm. But at least they all spoke Greek here, which was one blessing. Or maybe that was just for her benefit? She didn’t know.
 
But one thing was for sure. This definitely wasn’t the Amazon Land of the Dead. Why’d she came here to Heaven instead of the Amazon after life wasn’t obvious but perhaps it would be made clear later.
 
The all-white clothes felt good on her too, almost like silk. She leant one way, then the other, & it shimmered in the light. An improvement on her old skirt & top, decidedly. What was it Xena had once called it?
 
Oh yes - a BGSB. A Bilious Green Skirt & Bra. Highly comical.
 
But this felt & looked good. Actually, the whole area just felt good, a veritable haven from all trials & tribulations. She smiled at the thought of Xena relaxing up here in Heaven. Xena’s idea of relaxing was a good ‘workout’ with bandits & warlords. It didn’t take much imagination to conclude that the most ‘vicious’ discourse might be over whether the angels were all tenors or if they had any baritones. Whereas, she could just let the air drift over her & just enjoy it all. She raised a glass of crystal clear water to her lips & smiled at the peace of it all
 
“Hello Gabby,” a voice greeted her quietly.
 
Gabrielle nearly choked on the water, sending a spray out in front of her and dropping the glass to the floor. Only one person called her that and –
 
She whirled round & visibly relaxed when she saw a small girl in front of her. A very young girl in a full-length cream shift, barefoot, & brown hair tied in a ponytail. The shock still showed on Gabrielle’s face though, which raised an amused smile from her interlocutress.
 
“Hallo, were you expecting someone?”
 
“No, er, well, I don’t think so,” Gabrielle said hesitantly.
 
“I’m here to welcome you to Heaven. I’m Jesca, welcome Gabrielle,” the girl said.
 
“Hello Jesca, pleased to meet you,” Gabrielle greeted her, subconsciously lowering herself down to match the girl’s height
 
“Have you had much chance to explore?”
 
“I haven’t, but Xena’s looking around to see what’s here. She’ll be back in a bit. Have you met Xena?”
 
“Ah, Xena,” Jesca said.
“I know of her of course, but I haven’t met her in person yet.”
 
There was that amused smile again, which vexed Gabrielle somewhat. Clearly Jesca was in possession of some titbits of knowledge or information that she, Gabrielle, wasn’t privy to. Most annoying.
 
“So are you an, er, angel too?” Gabrielle asked.
 
“Well, yes & no,” Jesca answered thoughtfully
“I’m too young to be a proper angel, so they gave me the other option.”
“Other option?”
 
“Yes. There are two types of angels. I’m a Guardian. I look after the mortal who I was closest to.”
 
“Huh. Do you get a choice, or are you assigned?”
 
“Umm, that depends. Sometimes we don’t have anyone to be close to, or they’ve died too. Michael’s very good with us, he won’t just give us anyone. Once we have a ‘subject’ there’s a trial period & then if it works out okay, we stay with them.”
 
“Until they die?”
 
“That’s it,” Jesca said.
“And then we get given someone else.”
 
Gabrielle found this all fascinating & it showed. She was giving it her undivided attention & asking questions, when a thought struck her.
 
“What is it Guardians actually do?”
 
“That’s a very good question,” Jesca said.
“It’s a matter of some debate between us & Michael, but basically, we look after our subjects & try to look after them as best as we can. For some subjects of course, it’s a lot easier. And there are some who are full time. That give us wrinkles. And grey hairs.”
 
“Hmm, I know of a few people like that,” Gabrielle grinned.
“So are you the only
erm..younger Guardian?”
 
Jesca gave a wry smile.
 
“It’s ok, you can say what I am without offending me. I’m a child. Well
I was, before I died. And we all are. Children, that is. Michael says it’s because we’re innocent & have gone through the fire of purity.”
 
“So when do you know your-er, their time is up?”
 
“Um, we don’t get any warning as such. There’s lots of times we think *might* be it, but it’s only really when we can smell Death’s candle that we can only watch.”
 
“Huh. I didn’t think Heaven would have any of the Greek Gods here,” Gabrielle said.
 
“Well. Death isn’t a Goddess as 
such, she just collects the dead when it’s their time. So Michael says that’s ok for her to work here too. He thinks it’s a good idea for there to be a signal of some sort, for us to let go.”
 
“Interesting. So do your subjects talk to you much?”
 
“Oh no,” Jesca said, shaking her head vigorously.
“They don’t know we’re there. They can’t know, otherwise, well
.”
 
Jesca threw her hands up in the air expressively & pulled a face.
 
“I can imagine,” Gabrielle nodded.
“So how long have you been here?”
 
Jesca scrunched up her face in concentration as she tried to recall the time, counting off on her little fingers. Gabrielle found it difficult not to smile, remembering that Jesca was a guardian & not just a child.
 
“I’ve been here since I was six,” Jesca beamed in satisfaction.
“Exactly twenty years after tomorrow.”
 
“So you know the exact day you died? What does that mean exactly?” Gabrielle asked thoughtfully.
 
“I think.. it’s a way to remember that we’re angels & that we’re here to help other people. Of course, it helps us remember our family & friends too. Even though they don’t know we’re there, they still talk about us. My brother, he’s got a pic–“
 
Jesca clapped both hands over her mouth in a look of dismay.
 
“What?” Gabrielle said in bemusement.
 
“I’m not supposed to talk about family or friends, otherwise well, it may be guessed who our mortal is. And that might make people do things, or not do things. I guess it’s okay to talk about them to Michael or the other guardians, and we do 
sort of. But we don’t mention names. That’s a no-no.”
 
Jesca waved an emphatic finger in front of her nose upon the last point, looking very serious.
 
“I’ll keep that to myself,” Gabrielle nodded in understanding, holding a finger to her lips.
“Mum’s the word.”
 
Jesca clapped her hands together happily.
“Yay! We’re going to be bestest friends ever!”
 
Gabrielle smiled back in response, Jesca was infectious. She must have been great to be around. Or at least when she was alive

 
“It’s ok to be sad for me, Gabrielle,” Jesca said.
“I can hear the thoughts of people, it’s
 very comforting sometimes.”
 
“My thoughts too?” Gabrielle said in surprise.
 
“Well. I can, but only from friends. And only if they want me to. Otherwise, all I get is 
”
 
Jesca stuck out her tongue & rubbed her hair until it was all untidy & looking wild.
 
Gabrielle chuckled at the sight, dropping down on to her haunches & smoothing back the maiden’s hair into shape with a wet finger.
 
“There you go, as good as new,” she said.
 
“Hey Gabrielle,” a familiar voice rang out.
“I see you’ve found a little friend already!”
 
Gabrielle rose up & was about to correct her mistake, when the guardian made a low shushing noise & accompanied it with a wink. Gabrielle caught her meaning & walked her over to Xena.
 
“Hallo Xena, this is Jesca. She’s nice,” the bard said casually.
 
“Hallo Xena, I’m Jesca, & this is Gabrielle. We’re all good friends!” Jesca announced loudly.
 
 
“You’re so right,” Xena said, lifting her up & perching her on her right shoulder.
“Do you think you could show Gabrielle and me around Heaven? Never had a guided tour before.”
 
“So what do you think of Heaven so far?” Gabrielle asked.
 
“It’s wonderful!” Xena said.
“It’s peaceful, everyone’s happy, makes you want to dance for joy!”
 
Gabrielle was subconsciously walking behind Xena slightly, in the same way as they used to on their travels around Greece & the Known World. She caught a look from Jesca, who clasped a hand to her forehead.
 
“Not too dull for you then, Xena?” Gabrielle said innocently.
“Only, the last I remember when I told you to smell the flowers & relax, you said it made you want to fight.”
 
“Yeah, but that was when I saw Ulysses in trouble,” Xena replied.
“Anyway, I’m sure I can relax here.”
 
Jesca mouthed a response through cupped hands to Gabrielle behind Xena’s back:
‘She hates it’
 
Gabrielle suppressed a snigger, somehow turning it into a cough. Xena mistook that as a cough of sarcasm, & gave her comrade a look.
 
“Oh by the way, did I mention Jesca is an angel?” Gabrielle said nonchalantly.
 
“Yeah, very funny, Gabrielle,” Xena said dismissively.
“Of course she is. Just like you & I are.”
 
“Ooh, Xena, it’s not nice to tell fibs,” Jesca said, shaking her head sadly.
“All those whoppers you just told Gabrielle about Heaven.”
 
“You mean – you *are* an Angel?”
 
“I’m not an *actual* angel, just a guardian angel,” Jesca amended.
 
Xena stopped short & her face fell. Hurriedly but very carefully, she lifted Jesca off her shoulder & onto the ground. Jesca covered her mouth with a dainty hand, as she giggled in response.
 
“Fancy you not knowing that Xena,” Gabrielle smirked.
 
“Let’s see what day it is,” Xena pondered.
“Oh yes, I completely forgot, it’s ‘have-a-big-laugh-at-Xena Day’. Very funny. Very funny.”
 
“I thought so,” Gabrielle grinned, clapping a hand on the other’s back.
 
Xena did not seem to appreciate the reassuring pat. She scowled at her comrade-in-arms, giving her a look that a medusa would have been proud of. Gabrielle however, was made of sterner stuff.
 
Jesca’s face clouded with apprehension, a pair of anxious brown eyes looked up into a set of piercing blue ones.
 
“Um, Xena you’re not cross, are you? Gabrielle & I were just having a little fun, that was all.”
 
“No, I’m not cross,” Xena sighed.
“I might dump a bucket of water over Gabrielle as payback. But I’m really not cross.”
 
“And-and we’ll still all be friends?” Jesca asked, her hands clasped tightly.
 
“We’ll still all be friends, I promise,” Xena said firmly.
 
She gave Jesca a reassuring smile & ruffled her hair, until the girl lost her worried expression & broke into a half-smile. 
 
“Attagirl” said Xena happily. 
 
“Yay!” Jesca said, hugging as high as she could reach of both of them
“Grouphug!”
 
Suddenly her expression changed, her eyes opening wide with alarm.
“Is it ok if I go now? And can I play with you guys later?” 
 
“Of course you can play with us, any time you like Jesca,” Xena said.
 
“Is it your project? Do they need you?” Gabrielle asked quickly.
 
“Um, yeah kind of. Tomorrow’s a big day. So if I could go, & it’d be alright with you?” Jesca said.
 
“You go, Jesca. Do good things for them,” Gabrielle said encouragingly.
 
“And we’re really ok with you going too, & you come back when you want,” Xena added.
 
“Thanks Xena, Gabby, see you later!”
 
Jesca blew them both a kiss & waved before vanishing in a single ‘pop’ that made them both jump. Having had their fill of flashy entries & exits by the Greek Gods, it was nice to know that an Angel could just go with minimal fuss.
 
“Wasn’t she nice?” Gabrielle said warmly.
 
“So young though,” Xena sighed.
“Such a tragedy at that age.”
 
“At least we’ve got someone to talk to around here now,” her friend replied.
“Or at least until we’ve been around here a bit & got to know some of the Angels.”
 
“Well, I did find a room with swords in that looked interesting,” Xena commented
 
“Swords?! In Heaven?” 
 
“That room over there on the right,” Xena said.
“They’re not brushes, that’s for sure.”
 
Gabrielle walked to where Xena was pointing, where a door ajar masked an unseen chamber.
 
“It’s stuck,” the blonde called out.
 
“Put your back into it then Gabrielle,” Xena encouraged.
 
A hefty kick with her right foot was to no avail either, nor did a hefty shove cause the door to oblige.
 
“Right,” Gabrielle said determinedly, taking a few backward steps & preparing to run at it.
 
Xena leaned up against the post of the doorway, nonchalantly chomping on an apple she’d found. Her head slowly panned round as Gabrielle broke into a canter & charged at the door.
 
“I found my chakram!” Xena called out, holding up the object which had been blocking the door.
 
“Whoaaaa!”
 
Gabrielle didn’t have time to comment upon this revelation;
The door sprang open & her uncontrolled momentum carried her forward into the room, head first into a shallow pool of crystal clear water
 
“That’s most annoying, I think there’s a couple of scratches on it,” Xena said in a vexed tone, not looking up from the examination of her ranged weapon.
 
“How disappointing,” was the response through gritted teeth.
 
“My mistake, the sword room is next door,” Xena said with an apologetic smile.
 
Gabrielle cleared her throat testily as she rose to her feet & said nothing more, her lips pursed tight. Smoothing down her wet clothes with one hand & brushing her hair back with the other, she marched soggily forth onto the purification chamber as though nothing untoward had occurred whatsoever.
 
                                          ********************************
 
Jesca had found her mortal link alone & safe under a rough shelter, in a deep slumber. But sleeping though he was, his rest was not untroubled. She looked on concerned, as the murmuring under his breath became more vocal.
 
“
Warm
 too warm..”
 
There was a bead or two of sweat on his forehead now too. And though it was chilly enough both outside & in to wrap up warm, blankets & clothes had been discarded & he lay only on the bare ground.
 
“So hot
. I must find

”
 
His arms began to flail out in front of him, tossing & turning as he did so.
 
“So much smoke
 need to
. breathe
”
 
Jesca sighed to herself.
 
Every year since it happened, the pain lessened with her family. Except with her youngest brother. He’d felt it the hardest, still lit a candle for her every year at a Temple of Artemis, and that self-portrait he had. It was a private joke between them that Jesca was an artist but she only sketched for him. It was perhaps, the last living memory of her he had, & he treasured it beyond price.
 
“Can’t
 Can’t see
her
 Where is
”
 
“It’s ok, I’m here,” she said softly, wishing she could take his hurt away.
 
This was the hardest part of being a guardian, she could protect him from everything apart from himself.  He re-lived that day every year in his mind & every time he failed
.
 
He suddenly sat bolt-upright, his eyes wide open & fearful, & cried one word before collapsing to the floor in an unconscious heap.
 
“Jesca!”
 
 
 
 
 
 

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