Did I mention I REALLY like your story? I especially love your character's
interaction with Joxer! And good for Joxer for standing up to Gabrielle,
especially the short-haired Warrior Gabrielle who wasn't really my favorite.

Can't wait to read more!

Hey everyone.

I'm just wondering if anyone would be interested in a fic challenge or
game?  Something short and fun?  Lemme know.

Cheers,
Nancy.

Okay everyone.

What about a Word-A-Week challenge?   I'll randomly pick a word and put
it up later today, and we have to write a short one-page fic about it.  :)

Cheers,
Nancy.

*What Is A Hero?
* *©2006.
*By Nancy Lorenz.
*
**Disclaimers:* Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer and Callisto are
all characters owned by MCA/Universal studios. All Gods but Aphrodite
and Ares written from Greek Myth, with some Xena canon thrown in. No
money is being made from this creation.

*Content: *G/J, A/X.

*Chronology:* Before the Sacrifice episodes. Let's pretend, just for
this series, that Hope never lived past Maternal Instincts. Nup. The
bitch was poisoned, she died. For my sanity, mmkay?

*Author's Notes:* This story would be nothing without the help and
advice of Sandy, a darling woman I only really got to know well years
AFTER Xena finished, yet she was around at the time. Call it madness -
I've been missing out on the friendship of an awesome person! I also
thank Findle, for all the times I've pounced upon him online, nattered
in his ear about my story and probably bored him utterly shitless. Tina,
my little baby sister, too has had me do this to her. So to them - thank
you. You've helped me immensely.

*Rating:* Still To Be Rated (Tentative M+15)


*Chapter Six*

She couldn't believe she was doing this. If someone had said to her that
morning that by nightfall, she'd be huddling in a stable in nothing but
her underskirt, waiting for Ares of all people, she'd have smacked them
in the face. Yet there she was, covering her armour in hay and waiting
for Ares to come back from wherever he went. It didn't seem to bother
him that he had no money for a dress. She decided not to think about it
as she had plenty of other rather complicated and dire things to concern
herself with. Like warlords, and the attentions of the God of War.

There was a sudden squeak of rusted hinges and warped wood, and Xena
ducked down behind the stable wall. A horse in the next pen nickered
with annoyance at the disruption.

"I'm back," hissed a familiar voice. "Check it out…"

A dress was laid over the door of the stable, Ares popping up next to
it. It was a dress made of rough-woven woollen fabric, a bodice and
skirt of deep red over white sleeves. Not an expensive dress, but a
well-made, attractive one.

"Do I wanna know how you got this?" she asked, grabbing the garment.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," said Ares, winking at her.

"Right."

There was an indulgent look on Ares' face as she stood there with the
dress. After a long moment of him staring at her, it occurred to her
that he wasn't about to turn around. She sighed heavily and turned away
from him, getting on with dressing herself.

"See any soldiers out there?"

"No," said Ares, folding his arms. "Not unless they were out of their
armour."

The dress was a reasonable fit. A bit tight around the shoulders, but
Xena had always had a hard time finding dresses that fit that part of
her anatomy. Fiddling with the laces of the bodice, she stepped out of
the stable. Ares was quiet, and when she glanced up at him, he gave her
a flicker of a smile.

"You look good."

Rolling her eyes, she glowered at him and stomped out of the stables
ahead of him.

"Don't get me wrong, the leathers are hot, but it's nice to see you in
something different."

"If I say 'thanks', will you shut up about what I'm wearing?"

"It bothers you that much?"

She gave him a withering look. "Isn't it obvious?"

They were trudging down the main street of Minoeta now, Ares trailing
behind her, thoroughly amused at Xena's discomfort. Light and music
streamed from the inn up ahead, people milling about the place, adding
to the air of festivity and warmness that the place seemed to exude.
Xena might have enjoyed it if it weren't for the impish mood of the
erstwhile God behind her.

"I didn't think my opinion of your appearance could be so troubling."

"Disturbing, more like," said Xena. "And if you don't get your eyes off
my ass you're going to find out where I'm hiding my chakram."

"Cute, but it's probably not in your best interests to throw that thing
about in company."

"I won't, if you behave," she murmured, eyes on the inn ahead.

She knew she didn't have to tell him that she'd rather have chopped off
a limb than leave her favourite weapon behind in a barn, never mind the
fact that there was every possibility that they might run into some
unsavoury characters – particularly any of Mallecium's men. She wasn't
sure why she was risking their security for Ares. She kept remembering
him breaking the link of omnipotence within his sword, pouring it out of
himself and, as they fell to earth, becoming painfully human. Risking
that for her, how could she deny him a simple night in a drinking house?

They soon found a snug spot at the end of the bar, nestled by the wall.
Old farming equipment hung up on the wall, decorated with bows of
coloured material and sheaves of wheat. There was even a shield on one
wall, something that seemed quite out of place in the overwhelmingly
agrarian establishment. It wasn't just the décor that was homely.
Farmers and small-time merchants huddled about tables, a couple of rowdy
old men sung bawdy tunes by the fire, upon which roasted a leg of mutton.

Ares was quiet, taking it all in as he sipped a foaming tankard of ale.
He shook his head at them in mingled awe and disbelief.

"They do this every day, don't they?" he said. "Make their deals, talk
about their sheep and drink till they forget that this is all their life
is about."

"Why do you think I'm a travelling girl?" she asked with a hint of mischief.

"I know why you started travelling and it has nothing to do with the
boring home life," replied Ares, a knowing glint in his eye.

She cleared her throat, looking away. "Don't you ever feel like them?"
she asked, redirecting the conversation back to Ares. "That you're doing
the same thing day in, day out, without meaning?"

A smirk twisted Ares' lips and he looked infuriatingly self-assured. "I
know my place in the universe, Xena. I know what I need to do. It can
get monotonous, I'll admit that, but no, it's never without meaning." He
looked down to his ale, shooting out a sigh. "I do often wish that this
important role of mine gave me room to be something else, something more."

Whatever that something more was, it made Xena's skin burn and shiver at
once. He wasn't supposed to want things like this. Ares was war, that
was his purpose. To be its force, to represent its madness, to make it
happen. There wasn't supposed to be more of him and she wasn't supposed
to be so damned drawn to it.

She had to distract herself from him. Grabbing the tankard of ale in
front of her, she peered into it, downing the warm, frothing liquid with
gusto.

"Woah, slow down, Xena," said Ares. "You do realise we have all night?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she growled.

"Let's make it a game!" said Ares, snapping his fingers and motioning
over the bar man. "We'll see who can down a tankard the fastest!"

Xena glowered at him. "We're going to end up trashed at that rate!"

He scoffed. "Xena, my dear, this is the aim of the entire exercise!"

"Aren't you a little old for this sort of behaviour?"

Ares made a great show of rolling his eyes before grabbing Xena by the
shoulders and staring at her deadpan.

"If you're too old for having fun you may as well be dead!" Xena opened
her mouth but Ares put a finger over her lips quick. "Ah-ah-ah! Here."
He squared her in her stool in front of the bar.

"Ares-"

"Don't make me hit ya where my good Daddy split ya."

Now it was Xena's turn to roll her eyes. "Fine. Don't blame me if you
wake up with the mother of all headaches in the morning."

"Sure, but I would have had a good time the night before. Bar keep!"

Xena gripped the tankard in her hands, staring at the foamy beer inside.
Mad. She had to be utterly insane.

A rather drunk looking man, reasonably well dressed so Xena guessed he
was a shopkeeper or merchant, eyed her dress as he waited to order a drink.

"You know it's bizarre," he said, slurring and pointing at her, "My wife
has nearly that exact same dress!"

"Couldn't be," Ares said. "I bought this one in Tiryns."

The man shook his head. "If she weren't already asleep in her bed, I'd
bring her here an' show her!" He laughed and shook his head, stepping
forward when he'd finally won the barkeep's attention.

Xena sighed deeply in relief, closing her eyes. "Ares, I swear I'm going
to kill you one day."

"That's cool. Just do it when I'm not mortal, okay?"

She glanced to him angrily and at that, he shot her a mischievous grin.

~~*~~

Joxer strummed the lute feverishly, performing a rousing jig that would
have no doubt been better played without all the Godly wine in his
system. He flubbed a fret-fall here and there, but he was having so much
fun it didn't matter. Gabrielle clapped in time, the both of them
comfortable on their stretched out bedrolls. The song got to the most
difficult part, and Joxer's features twisted in effort.

"Come on, you can do it!" she cried.

He launched into another chorus, this time faster than the last, and
soon the song hit a heady crescendo through which Gabrielle let out
rowdy hoots of encouragement. With a flourish of plucked strings, the
song ended, and Joxer sagged, exhausted.

Gabrielle applauded, shaking her head. "By the Gods, I didn't know you
could play like that!"

"Ahh, that wasn't so good," he said, waving a hand. "When I was a kid,
Mom would make me get lute lessons every day. I was really good then,
really good. I'm out of practice now."

"Puh-leeze!" She grabbed the lute and began to strum it, discordant
notes plunking from the poor thing as if it were protesting its sudden
rough treatment. "That's my skills! So shut up."

Joxer laughed, taking the lute back and nodding. "Yeah, I think we can
both agree you're no Apollo."

"Now you're getting all snarky and superior," she said, slurring a
little. "Lovely!"

He tilted his head at her, looking wry. "Your tender encouragement
boosted my confidence."

"I'm just tellin' you how it is, no need to get cocky, you big dumb jerk."

Laughter lifted from Joxer, and he shook his head. "Zeus, you're drunk."

"So are you," she said. Reaching forward, she dug amongst their things
for the amphora of wine. Joxer laughed again as she had a difficult time
locating it amongst the pelts and Joxer's haphazard pile of doffed
armour. "I want to be more drunk but I can't... are you hiding the wine?"

"No!" He shifted, and Gabrielle let out a little cry.

"You are! It's under your butt!" She pushed him aside, half-climbing
over him to get the wine from behind him. "You're evil, Joxer. Hiding it
from me like that!"

"Uh-uh," said Joxer, shaking his head. "I didn't put it there."

"Are you saying I put it there?" she asked him. She had settled back
down next to him on the pelt, getting comfortable.

Joxer snorted. "Why would I do that?"

She tilted her head, gazing up at the stars thoughtfully. "I dunno,
Joxer. I dunno why you do half the things you do."

"That makes the two of us."

She rolled onto her side, looking up at him. "Don't you ever stop and
think... 'Maybe, I shouldn't do this. It might turn out badly for me.'?"

He wagged his head, "All the time. I do it anyway."

A hearty chuckle fell from Gabrielle, and she put her head on his
shoulder, smacking his leg, barely making her target.

"See, this is what I love about you, Joxer. You go with your gut!"

He looked down at her, wobbling a little. "There's... something you love
about me? I didn't think you even liked me all that much."

"Noo, no," she said, shaking her head, pulling herself up and leaning
her chin on his shoulder so she could look him right in the eye. "See, I
get frustrated with you. Cause I know you're a good guy, you're good and
you're … " She frowned and huffed, trying to muddle through her mind for
the right words. "Your heart is brave and right, but you get it muddled
up on the way out somehow..." She shook her head. "Gods, I'm not even
making sense."

"Yeah you are," said Joxer, stoic despite his intoxication. "I don't
know, Gab. I ask myself the same thing every day an'... I dunno."

"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head.

"It doesn't?"

She shook her head again. "Nope. You're good'n'you keep tryin' and
that's all that matters." Dropping a hand on his shoulder near the base
of his neck, she squeezed the muscle there warmly. "You keep doin' what
you're doin', Joxer."

Smiling, he reached for the amphora and took a swig. "That's the plan."

"That's a boy!" she said, smacking his leg again. "We're having a good
time!"

Joxer gave a tentative smile. "Really?"

Gabrielle snorted, leaning forward and looking up into his face. "You
can't tell when you're having a good time?"

He shrugged. "Yeah but... I like bein' with ya. It's more... you..." He
gestured, waving a hand at her. "I mean, having a good time with me."

She sighed, tilting her head, and tentatively, she cupped his cheek.
"Joxer... do you think I play scissors, papyrus, rock with just
anybody?" He smiled at that. "I've had adventures with you. Talked into
the night with you. Argued with you, fought with you..." She shook her
head in wonder. "Other than Xena, who else can say that?"

He put his hand over the one on his cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
"Not many people."

"Right," Gabrielle nodded, a little more than she needed to thanks to
the alcohol. "I don't want to hear you put yourself down anymore."

"I wasn't," he said. "I just didn't think you liked me that much."

There was a confidence in his expression that was like itching powder in
her heart, and she growled at him, pushing him in the arm. "Joxer!"

He made the mistake of chuckling at her. She got up onto her knees,
pushing at him again. He didn't just take it. Putting the amphora aside,
cork in place, he caught her arms, getting a hold of them about the elbows.

"What ya gonna do now, huh?" He lifted his brows, teasing her.

"Oh, I'll show you, mister Mighty guy," she chuckled, pulling her arms
back, wrestling with him.

They were pretty evenly matched, Gabrielle more agile and coordinated
than Joxer, but smaller than him. With a growl, Gabrielle surged
forward, trying to push his arms back and largely succeeding. Joxer let
out a surprised yelp, laughing heartily as they tumbled over in a pile,
Gabrielle landing squarely on top of him, both their arms above their
heads. She slid into the nape of his neck, and she was suddenly aware of
the smell of his skin. It wasn't unpleasant... far from it. He was still
underneath her, his laughter dying down, his struggles against her
abandoned. She lifted herself up a little, looking into his eyes. Her
heart pounded as she saw the gleam in those frightened obsidian eyes.
She felt herself drowning in a giddy triumph that was more than the
wine, more than her moment of fun. Was there hope in Joxer's eyes? Did
he feel the same way? She'd never even though that... She needed to say
something, but she didn't want to move, didn't want to break the moment.

"Joxer," she whispered.

"Y-yeah?"

She gulped, looking down at his lips a moment, then back to his eyes.
"You wanna know something really -" She stopped and laughed. "Crazy?"

He nodded silently, gulping too.

"I... I think I'm... I mean I..." She winced, scrunching her face up for
a moment as she searched for the words. "You remember that time, with
baby Eros and the arrows?" She chuckled, shaking her head. "It was crazy..."

Joxer nodded, looking away, a tenseness on his face that was no longer
eager. He looked like a man waiting for the axe to fall.

"I used to think that, Joxer. That it was crazy." She shifted, settling
on top of him, and with a shaking hand, she ran her fingertips over his
forehead, down the side of his face, the strong line of his jaw and to
the little dimple in his chin. She smiled like a child, in wonder of the
feeling that flowered in her heart as she touched him. She shook her
head. "I don't really remember why I thought it was so crazy anymore..."

A deep breath left Joxer, and he closed his eyes, the hand above his
head clutching Gabrielle's, the other finding her shoulder and squeezing
gently. "Gab... I got a confession to make."

Her brows lifted in askance.

"During that time... with the arrows?"

She nodded.

"Eros never got me."

Tilting her head, she frowned at him. "He never..."

He shook his head, talking as if he were telling her someone she loved
had died. "No. It was... it was all me. I... I-yuh... I'm in love with
you."

A long, shaking breath left Gabrielle, and she rested her head against
his chest, closing her eyes and letting the truth flow through her in
strong, gripping waves. He loved her. He really, really loved her. Every
look he'd given her that day, every smile, every kiss... Hades balls,
every moment ever since!

She pushed herself away from him, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I ruined it. I should have told you ages
ago-"

"Tell me what?" she said, a dry laugh leaving her. She curled up around
her knees, staring at the low-burning fire across from them. "That
despite the fact that I treat you like crap and barely acknowledge you,
you're in love with me?"

"Gab, don't," he said. "You've had a lot on your plate lately."

"It's not an excuse," she said. "It's not..." She shook her head,
sighing at herself. "I look at you when you fumble, when you try so very
hard and..." She laughed, feeling tears in her eyes. "I see myself,
fresh from Potedaia." He went quiet. She glanced to him over her
shoulder. "Every time I hit you I'm, I'm hitting myself. For being so
damned... naïve! That maybe if I just beat it out of you, nobody will
hurt you the way they've hurt me. If you just – got – tough! Maybe,
you'll be okay. Just maybe..." The tears fell from her eyes and the
pain, the dead, heavy pain from the horrors of the last many months
washed over her. There was no hiding from it. She faced them now, faced
this horrible truth. She adored him, adored his childlike innocence, his
sweet, eager affection, and she couldn't bear to see the world destroy
him. As it would, as it did everything beautiful, everything she ever loved.

She nearly jumped as a hand was at her cheek, wiping a tear away. She
looked up, seeing Joxer's dark eyes gleaming with tenderness. He gave
the softest of smiles, shaking his head.

"Don't," he said, voice trembling with emotion. "No tears. Not for me."

With hitched breath, she turned and sank into his arms, hugging him
tightly to her, in a way she'd never held anyone, not since Perdicas, or
the times she'd nearly lost Xena. Never, in all the days since she'd met
this ridiculous man, did she ever foresee him meaning so much to her.
She shuddered as she felt his hand stroke her hair, the other at her
shoulder, running in small comforting circles.

"Nobody's ever cried for me before," he said, a note of wonder in his tones.

Gabrielle leant back from the embrace, looking into his eyes. "I'm sure
someone has..."

"Not like this," he said, blinking slowly.

She took a sudden, deep breath in, his warm expression making her skin
burn. His hair was tousled from their wrestling, his vest akimbo. His
creamy pale skin looked gold in the fire light. He looked unbearably
beautiful to her in that moment, and she cupped his face in her hands,
her thumbs running back and forth in deft caresses. Slowly, she rose to
her knees, still holding him, eyes never leaving his. The softness of
her bosom brushed his chest. As he gazed up at her, she could see she
was holding his very heart in her hands. Precious, fragile, intoxicating.

She burned in the moment, feeling every nuance of it – the way his hands
rested at the small of her back, the way they shook, and always the
reminder that this was Joxer, ridiculous, silly, loud, foolish,
wonderful Joxer. Waves of understanding crashed higher and stronger,
whipping her soul into a delicious madness. This was more than care,
more than affection. She didn't want to think on what it was, she just
wanted him. There was a side to Joxer here that she'd never seen and a
frantic need to know it was consuming her. Looking into his eyes, she
could see that it was okay. This was okay!

She couldn't help it. She laughed lightly, shaking her head, her nose
touching his.

"What?"

She sunk her fingers into his hair, tilting her head, smiling tenderly.
"I don't have words... I'm a bard, and I don't have words!"

He shrugged a little, his voice small. "Then show me."

With a rush of warmth in her heart, she pressed her lips to his. His
kiss was firm, tender, her top lip settling perfectly into the curve of
his lower lip. His hands gripped her back, his breaths light and rushed.

"Gab," he breathed.

"Shhh..." She pushed him back against their pelts and blankets, running
a thumb over his bottom lip. "No words, dummy."

Her words were tender, and it sparked a confidence in the man underneath
her. Joxer lifted his head, capturing her lips in his, his tongue
flickering at her lips. She gasped, her body dipping against his
instinctually, her fingers gripping the furry pelt beneath them. His
hands slid up her back, squeezing her flesh. She tilted her head,
deepening the kiss, and in a bold move, Joxer opened his mouth, guiding
her in and teasing her with the tip of his tongue. She felt herself
tremble from shoulder to toe, and she flopped against him, her propped
arms sliding out past his head as she gave up trying to stay upright in
any capacity. Joxer chuckled in the kiss.

"Mmph-you-mm..." He drifted off for a moment, then found his thoughts
again. "You all right?"

She nodded, eyes closed, a delirious smile on her face. "I just had no
idea you were this good at kissing."

"Well I gotta be good at something," he murmured.

He barely got to finish his sentence before Gabrielle's lips were upon
his again, her fingertips stroking his jaw and neck. She didn't just lie
still and prone upon him. She squirmed happily, dragging her body along
his, delighting in the strange joy that was being close to Joxer.

A blush had grown rosy in his cheeks as she glanced to check his
expression, and leaning against him, it was no mystery as to why. She
looked down only quickly, then back to him, chuckling softly and taking
her bottom lip in her teeth. "You don't waste any time."

"I'm sorry, it's just you feel so good and-" Her finger on his lips
silenced him.

"Did I say it was a bad thing?" she asked matter-of-factly, brows rising.

"Heh...hehehe."

She grinning and nodded. "Right." She buried her face in the nape of his
neck, taking a mouthful of flesh and suckling it hungrily, letting one
of her legs shift between his and press against him. He gasped, tilting
his head back, almost feminine in his vulnerability.

"G-gabri... elle?"

"Mmm?"

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to think clearly, a near
impossibility when the woman of one's dreams was pressing hot, wet open
kisses on one's flesh.

"Aren't we a little... oh Gods..." She'd found his earlobe. "… a little
too drunk for this?"

After a moment she relinquished his earlobe, sighing and sinking her
fingers into his hair once more.

"Joxer, what's your point?"

"I don't wanna be doin' this if you, I mean, it wouldn't be right if I-"

"You're as drunk as I am."

"...I am."

She blinked and widened her eyes at him pointedly. "Then how do you know
I'm not taking advantage of you?"

He blinked and waved his head a little drunkenly. "Beeecause I really,
really want this?"

Gabrielle pinned him with a smouldering smile. She looked him square in
the eye.

"So..." She kissed his chin, "do..." the lilt of his neck, "...I." She
opened her mouth on his smooth chest and suckled at the flesh. She could
hear him panting, and she felt a smile in her heart as she tasted the
salt of his skin.
She felt his fingers sink into her hair, and his voice was gentle.

"Gabrielle..."

She lifted her head.

"If we do this, I want it to be right."

Gods damn him all to Tartarus. He'd actually found a way to make her
feel as though she loved him even more. She sighed, dragging her body up
his, mainly because she was too drunk and too tired to lift herself up
properly, and leant her forehead against his, lips brushing his cheek as
she spoke.

"Can I keep kissing you at least?"

A goofy grin spread across his narrow face. "Don't let me stop you."

She grinned, smacking him playfully and snuggling to his side. Grabbing
a pelt, she dragged it up over them, sinking into the veritable nest of
furs. A satisfied moan of a sigh lifted from her as she got comfortable,
wrapping an arm around him and settling her face into the nape of his
neck. A contented weariness washed over her in the absence of the
barrage of hormones, and she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

"This has been the weirdest night I've ever had," she said, pressing
light kisses to his neck every now and again.

Joxer shook his head in wonder, gazing up at the stars. "It's been like
a dream. I'm afraid to wake up."

Silence stretched on, and Joxer wondered if Gabrielle was going to leave
that hanging there. He couldn't really move, so he listened. Her breaths
had grown slow and rhythmic, her body a dead weight against him.

"How does anyone even fall asleep that quickly?" he muttered to himself.

He squeezed her a little, closing his eyes and treasuring the moment. It
could end tomorrow. He could wake up, and as the effect of the Godly
wine left their bodies, so could the affection of this perfect night.
/
Thank you, Aphrodite, /he thought. /Even if this night is all I ever get./


~~*~~

The Longest Days
by Nancy Lorenz

Disclaimers: Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer and Callisto are
all characters owned by MCA/Universal studios. All Gods but Aphrodite
and Ares written from Greek Myth, with some Xena canon thrown in. No
money is being made from this creation.

Content: G/J

Chronology: Post Season 6.  It's intimated that at some point, Gabs goes and
fixes everything up.  Don't ask me how that happens cause I have no idea!

Author's Notes:  This came into my head one day when I was tooling around,
listening to music and drawing pictures.  It's not been edited by anyone but
myself, so sorry if there are errors.

Rating: PG/K


*

The Longest Days.*

There was a certain swing in his step that never used to be there in his
youth. His stride was rounder, less efficient, and she knew the pain it
would cause in his muscles at bed time. All because of his knees. When
she was younger, travelling with him around the countryside, never would
she think that his knees would become weak. But she never imagined her
life changing the way it did, nor her fight for the semblance of
normalcy. She never imagined that quiet days with him would be a bliss
untold, that she would revel in with the delight of a lamb in a field.
She thanked the Gods every day that she was walking with him, his funny
walk because of his terrible knees, her own bones creaking. She wasn't
young, she wasn't out of place. They were old together, looking back on
decades spent the way the should have been.

She brushed a lock of his hair from his face. He'd let his hair get
shaggy in his old age. Sometimes she'd talk him into trimming it close
to his head like he did in his youth. But he didn't like to, he said
that was the hairstyle of a warrior. He'd become a long-haired minstrel,
giving up the sword and making a fine living with the lute. Sometimes
she'd come with him, and tell stories between songs. The Bard of
Potedaia, and her silver-voiced Minstrel Fool. That's what they called
them. Joxer the Melodious.

"I need to get a horse again," he said to Gabrielle. "I can't do this
long walk anymore."

"Getting on and off the horse will hurt your legs," said Gabrielle.

"I can make a, you know, a step ladder," he said. He chuckled at the
thought. "I can hang it off the back of the horse instead of dismounting."

She smiled and shook her head. "If it's a light enough wood, I suppose
we could manage."

"Getting old is weird," he said.

"The whole thing is weird," replied Gabrielle. "It wasn't supposed to be
like this."

"I know," Joxer said, nodding. "Xena was supposed to be with you, not me."

She hated when he brought this up. Eying him sharply, she gripped his arm.

"Not this again! She made her decision. She wanted to remain in the
Underworld. I couldn't be alone anymore. I wanted you with me. You
wanted to be with me too. So here we are." She shook her head, waving a
hand dismissively. "That wasn't what I was talking about. What I meant
was, we were supposed to all be together. All of us. Our children
playing together, with Eve..." She sighed and looked away.

"I miss her too."

Her heart crumpled in her chest and she wrapped her arms around him
tightly. Damn him. How she loved him.

"Come on," he said gently on his breath, tucking her chin up and gazing
into her eyes. "Let's go home. I'll make a nice soup, and we can have it
with yesterday's nutbread, hmm?"

She shuddered from head to toe as she met his gaze. He looked at her
just like he did all those years ago, that open, heartfelt adoration.
Perhaps it had changed a little, grown deeper and matured, but it still
felt like he wrapped her in a blanket and kept her safe. She didn't need
him to keep her safe, she was more than able to take care of herself.
His gaze felt like home, it had that same security.

It also made her feel beautiful, made her feel young. She didn't need to
feel those things either, but it was still a nice thing to feel.

It was early evening when they made it back home to the Amazon village,
smoke lifting from the hole in the apex of the thatched roof. A fire had
been lit by an attentive Amazon charge, who was no doubt in her own hut,
preparing her weapons and armour for the following day's duties. As soon
as they returned to their home, Joxer set about making dinner. Gabrielle
put their things away.

His boots next to hers, at the end of their bed. Their bed, their hut.
Their life together. How thankful she was to have him, to have someone
at all, let alone someone who meant as much to her as Joxer did. She put
on a thick coat and walked into the kitchen area.

"You're hungry," said Joxer, a twinkle in his eye.

"When am I not?" she said, smirking.

"Don't worry. This'll only take a little while. Here, have some of the
nutbread from yesterday." He handed her some hunks of nutbread from the
pantry in a carved wooden bowl. He also poured her some wine.

"Joxer, you spoil me."

"Of course I do," he replied. "I enjoy it."

The smirk turned into a broad smile.

"Don't let me forget about Xenon visiting tomorrow, honey," he said,
turning back to the meal and dropping vegetables into the soup pot.

"I won't," she said. "You're giving him lute lessons, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "S'weird, you know? When I first went on
adventures with you guys, I thought that if I had a son, I'd teach him
how to be a warrior." He chuckled. "I have the son I wanted, and I'm
teaching him to play music and sing. It's funny how things turn out."

"It's a better future than you imagined," she said gently. "Creative
people make the world more beautiful."

He glanced at her from over his shoulder. "Yeah, but we creative types
need the heroes and the warriors to protect us. They make the world more
beautiful by refusing to let it be taken for granted."

He knew just what to say to her. Her shame at her violent ways was no
secret to him. Violence led her to the horrible end, where she'd lost
everyone that had ever meant anything to her. It was by the grace of the
Gods that she had Joxer. Everyone else was gone. When he was returned to
her, she swore she would become peaceful. Not like she had been after
India. It would be practical this time, logical. She would live with the
Amazons and help them grow and be strong. Teach the younger ones how to
fight, and how to think with peace and compassion in their hearts. She
also wanted to honour what Xena fought for in her own way.

She never stopped telling Xena's story.

Nibbling at the nutbread, she sat with Joxer as the soup cooked. How
many quiet nights had she shared with him like this? She never thought,
all those years ago, that he was able to provide good conversation, but
he was surprisingly entertaining. When he was at ease, when he wasn't
self-conscious, he had a sparkling sarcasm that teased the tiredness
from her bones. He took the horrible things and made them funny somehow.
She'd missed it for a long time – he'd never been relaxed enough around
her to let it flourish naturally. Not until he knew that she loved him,
no matter what.

The soup was wonderful. Comforting and simple, a lot like its maker. As
she filled herself with it, Joxer spoke of things he'd heard at the
local taverns, small town politics that would have bored her so many
years ago. How precious the little things were to her now.

They were tired from their walk from the nearby town, so they went to
bed early that night. She looked at their bodies as they pulled off
their clothes. Her body had changed, slowly and surely. At first it
frightened her, losing the strength and agility she'd fought so hard to
acquire. But she was soon distracted with motherhood, with marriage.
Suddenly there were more important things than how she looked in the
reflection of the nearby stream. Her stomach was lined with hard-earned
stretchmarks. Each line was a testament to the months she spent
nurturing their children. She bore them with pride, with honour. They
went with the wrinkles around her eyes from the years of crying in both
sadness and joy. The creases at the corners of her mouth from the
laughter and the frowns of grim determination to survive all that life
threw at them. She was not young and flawless anymore, but her heart
sang with delight at how well her body served her.

Joxer, her dear sweet Joxer, didn't see the worn frame, not like a
stranger would. His eyes still grew dewy when she took off her clothes.
He had his moments where he'd make an off-colour joke at her expense,
but he wasn't a perfect man. She would cry and refuse to talk to him for
hours and always, he would apologise and wonder out loud why he had to
be such a jerk. He'd gotten much better with age, it had been hard in
the early days. In the end, he was always grateful that she loved him,
endlessly, eternally grateful.

Remarkably, his body hadn't suffered the ravages of age as badly as
some. His hair had thinned on top and his middle wasn't as taut as it
had been in his younger years. But like her, he walked a lot, so he was
in reasonably good shape, just as she was. Their bodies could not
withstand gravity, and bits and pieces sagged. Skin under the arms,
breasts and back flesh. It didn't matter at to them at all.

Gabrielle had seen the endless yaw of life without loved ones. The
sweaty, playful, wonderful nights and the long, busy days filled her to
the brim.

She climbed into bed next Joxer, her husband, slipping her arms around
him. Their naked bodies made contact and she felt as one with him,
contentment washing over her and giving her a sense of completion. She
felt blessed that this was something she experienced every day for so
many years. It nearly brought tears of joy to her eyes to think that if
she and Joxer were lucky, they would have some years to share yet.

"I love you, Gabrielle," said Joxer softly, running his cheek against
her silver-streaked hair.

"I love you too, Joxer," she replied.

He chuckled. It was that same delighted, boyish sound he'd made in his
youth. She knew why he made it – he was still excited that she loved him
at all. She wondered if he knew she felt the same way? If he knew how
thankful she was to have him in her life at all.

"You know what?" she asked him.

"No."

"If I could choose what life to live again... I'd choose this one."

There was a thick silence, and Joxer's arms tightened about her. A
heavy, lovelorn sigh left him.

"I wish you knew what you did to me, Gab," he murmured.

"If it's anything like what you do to me, then I do."

He pulled her close, kissing her deeply, warmly, firmly. Their bodies
had aged but their kisses had only gotten better. She couldn't resist
it, couldn't deny herself and had no reason to. They made love in their
well-used bed, ignoring the protesting of their tired bodies from the
long walk, revelling in the feeling between them that refused to die,
that only grew as time went on, defiantly, triumphantly.

They fell against each other, sweat-kissed bodies reverberating with
heavy heartbeats. Sleep swept over them like Persephone's cloak, gentle
and seductive, dark and quiet.

These days felt longer than the ones of her youth, the ones spent with
Xena. Those days were hectic, never a moment to rest. They were
exciting, heady and dangerous.

She was grateful for these longer days, however. Grateful that they
stretched on, affording her time to enjoy every moment. Because even
though they felt longer than those older days, they went by too fast.
One day she knew they'd be gone, and she couldn't be at peace unless she
knew she made the most of every moment she'd been blessed with.

She fell asleep in the arms of her most beloved, knowing that she'd
spent that day making the world more beautiful than it had been the
moment she woke up. That had to be a good thing.

These were the longest days now, but they were also the most beautiful.

Someone found the fic for me.  Thank you.

--- On Sat, 8/15/09, sweetkitty <sweet73kitty@...> wrote:

> From: sweetkitty <sweet73kitty@...>
> Subject: Please help!! Looking for Buffy crossover w/ Xena/Hercules
> To: allcrossovershere@yahoogroups.com, Allforfanfic@yahoogroups.com,
allslash@yahoogroups.com, Anything_Fiction@yahoogroups.com,
AU_fic@yahoogroups.com, Buffy_Crossovers@yahoogroups.com,
buffyfic_crossovers@yahoogroups.com, caliadragondp@yahoogroups.com,
CompleteKingdomOfSlash@yahoogroups.com, FAN-FICTION-UTOPIA@yahoogroups.com,
Fire_and_Ice_Fic@yahoogroups.com, imaginings@yahoogroups.com,
jeconais_fanfiction@yahoogroups.com, jffg@yahoogroups.com,
MakeBelieve_YG@yahoogroups.com, scifi-fantasy_fic@yahoogroups.com,
Sisters_of_thewritestuff@yahoogroups.com, Slash_Galore@yahoogroups.com,
slashloveandangst@yahoogroups.com, Vorabiza@yahoogroups.com,
xoverfic@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Saturday, August 15, 2009, 3:10 PM
> Hi, I remember reading a story were
> Xander, Spike, Faith, Angel, Cordy, Wes, Willow and Gunn
> were sent back into the past by Wolfram and Hart.
>
> Xander and Spike are a couple, also Cordy and Angel or
> Faith are a couple
>
> When they get there they are meet by Joxer and one of the
> gods.  When they see who or what Angel is they call
> Hades.  Hades and Persephane help Angel get ride of his
> demon.
>
> At the same time Buffy, Ryle and others are also sent to
> the past, but they meet up with Hercules.
>
> They are helped try to get back into the future.
>
> The sequal, has the groups in the future and the gods are
> rememberd and are being wished again.
>

Hi, I remember reading a story were Xander, Spike, Faith, Angel, Cordy, Wes,
Willow and Gunn were sent back into the past by Wolfram and Hart.

Xander and Spike are a couple, also Cordy and Angel or Faith are a couple

When they get there they are meet by Joxer and one of the gods.  When they see
who or what Angel is they call Hades.  Hades and Persephane help Angel get ride
of his demon.

At the same time Buffy, Ryle and others are also sent to the past, but they meet
up with Hercules.

They are helped try to get back into the future.

The sequal, has the groups in the future and the gods are rememberd and are
being wished again.

Hey all.

I have now installed Coppermine into the GJRS website:

http://gator1037.hostgator.com/~monkimoo/gallery/index.php

Now I just have to straighten out the main site and fill it all up.
Feel free to sign onto the coppermine gallery!  You're also free to
upload any art or cool photos you might have.  I'll assign them to their
correct categories.

Cheers,
Nancy.

Hey everyone.

I'm going to hold another Word A Day Challenge, this time running it
through both the mailing list, LJ, Yuku and the GJRS Fanfic Archive.
(The archive is up and operational - give it a look!).

Here are some of the words so far:

Sai

Sword

Nutbread

War

Baby

Tree

Child

Bracelet

Roman

Egypt

Beach

Herb

Sweets

Temple

Dress

Balcony

Dinar

Fear

Grey/Gray

Socks


I need about ten more words, so if you've got 'em, bring 'em on!  :D

Cheers,
Nancy.

Kindra wrote:
>
>
> I got this question on a comment on one of my music videos:
> How old are Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer supposed to be at the beginning
> of the series?
>
> Any ideas?
>
> -Xedra
>
>
>
>
>
I always had the impression that Xena was the eldest, around 28 or so.
Gabrielle seemed to be around 18 or 19 to me, and Joxer a bit older at
about 25.   At least, that would make sense to me considering it took
place in Ancient Greece, where people rarely lived past 40.

That's my guess.

--N

Rebecca Kelly wrote:
>
>
> I don't know about Xena or Joxer, but I do believe that it's canon
> that Gabrielle was 18 at the start of the series.  If you look at
> Gab's birthday cake in "Takes One To Know One" in season 4, she's 21.
>
> How's that for useless knowledge? :D
>
> Rebecca
>
YES!  I was right!

*does a dance*

--N
>
>

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay! I just haven't felt inspired for this story
since I don't have that many reviews for it yet! Hopefully that changes soon!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Armand stared as the couple stood on the side of the road and kissed with a
passion that almost made him envious. He hadn't known Joxer long and wasn't
really that close with him, but Armand knew when to not disturb a man and his
lady.

Xena had sent him looking for Joxer as she had seen to Gabrielle. Armand had
seen the tears traveling down Gabrielle's face and had concluded that it was
best if he went to look for Joxer.

Armand watched as the strange woman he had met briefly kissed Joxer as if she
had waited years to kiss him. Yearning clearly displayed as the kiss grew with
passion. Still he didn't leave as so much as hide. He may not have been a close
friend of Joxer's…but Armand became just as suspicious of Elaine as Gabrielle
had.

What did this woman see in Joxer?

Joxer pulled away slowly from Elaine's kiss and kept his eyes closed as he
continued to reel from the current of emotions the kiss had caused him.

Elaine slowly opened her eyes to find him like this, a smile slowly spreading
across her lips.

Joxer was an incredible loving soul. Despite everything she knew she couldn't
let Joxer just walk away from Xena and Gabrielle. After all, they had helped him
survive in the dangerous world they lived in. They were still his friends. Just
not great friends. But friends nonetheless.

"I know you don't want to hear this...but...no matter what you think...they're
still your friends."

Joxer's eyes dulled a moment as the words sank in. Slowly though he nodded his
head in agreement.

Elaine kissed him once more and whispered against his lips, "I'll be with you
the whole time."

Again Joxer lost himself in the kiss. A kiss that left him feeling desired,
needed, and even loved.

Breaking the kiss took incredible strength on Elaine's part, but she began to
pull Joxer back in the direction that they had came. Steadying her own resolve,
that she would face Gabrielle and even Xena to be with Joxer. Elaine knew too
much for them to try and push her away from him. In the end she would never let
that happen. She was there to stay...whether or not they liked it.

Elaine smiled at Joxer and squeezed his hand that she held in her own. Joxer's
worried face lightened slightly at the encouraging smile she gave him. Some
strange thought entered his brain at her smiling face, he had never felt secure
with any woman before...yet Elaine made him instantly feel that since the moment
they had met. Not once did he feel inferior or even foolish. Elaine somehow made
him feel ok about himself - ok that he felt the way felt.

But as his eyes turned back to the road ahead he could still see Gabrielle's
crying and pain filled face in front of his, and a horrible ache in his heart
would throb so powerfully that he knew it would remain there for months. Maybe
even years.

With a sigh and a squeeze from Elaine's hand again, Joxer resigned himself to
facing Gabrielle knowing what he now knew. Loving her had made him into the
person he was, and knowing now that she would never love him back - it destroyed
him. But the feel of Elaine's hand in his own reminded him that even as his
heart was breaking...there was one person that was willing to return his love if
he asked it.

Gabrielle held a hand to her chest as the ache within her caused her breathe to
come in gasps. Never had she expected or seen this coming. Never had she felt as
betrayed than when she looked up from the ground to find dark brown eyes that
had always shined so brightly with joy and affection towards her had suddenly
become dark as a night sky as hurt and pain reflected back at her from deep
inside of him. Throwing her off of Elaine as if his loyalty from years had been
flipped like a coin and landing with a decision that Gabrielle knew she couldn't
live with. A decision she knew had been altered by a woman that had appeared as
mysteriously as the sudden ache in her heart that was burning her from the
inside out.

Tears continued to stream down her face even as Amarice comes up beside her and
tries to whisper a question of friendship.

Gabrielle nods her head, not having heard what was asked and not caring. Images
of just a few days ago enter her mind, almost tormenting her as she revisits
them with a completely new perspective.

Joxer. Joxer looking at her so scared as he murmured his admission of love.
Joxer's face as she woke up in the cave after having been crucified.

It wasn't a joke...

Unexpectedly and with clarity she realized he...he hadn't been lying. No. Lying
was the wrong word. She just never thought that he was really in love with her.

Gabrielle's blue eyes widened as she was shocked at the well...she didn't really
know what to call it...the revelation...the idea...no. No. The acknowledgment of
his feelings.

It...she felt something in her tingle at the idea. That...that he hadn't just
been 'thinking' that he loved her...at least not in that way.

Yet...the way he had looked at her, the pain she had seen reflected in his eyes
seemed to wound her more than any physical injury. When she realized it was him
that had recklessly pushed her off of Elaine - as she continued to stare into
those beautiful soul filled eyes of his - she felt a huge pain in her chest and
had been trying to 'massage' the area as if it could relieve the pain that she
was in.

But it continued to ache and the pain wasn't lessening...it was increasing with
each second that Joxer was gone.

Lowering her head she released the few tears that she argued with herself
exactly why she was crying. And when she looked up to find Armand coming back
quickly through the city gates...she realized that something was up for Armand
to have been sent out after Joxer. Gabrielle hadn't noticed anything as Xena had
quickly tried to access if she was injured or not. Then Gabrielle had whispered
that Joxer had thrown her off...that was when Xena looked up into her eyes with
the same shock that had been in Gabrielle's as she had realized it.

Xena had gone to Amarice and Armand a second later, but the blonde warrior had
been to occupied with her own thoughts to listen in on the conversation. The
only thing going through her mind were Elaine's words that had wounded Joxer so
severely. Words that now seemed to repeat over and over in her head as she
remembered the look in Joxer's eyes as Elaine had said them.

"She's not in love with you, and she never will Joxer. She's in love with Xena."

Gabrielle closes her eyes tightly as tears once more fall down her face. Knowing
that not saying something to Joxer before had cost her his friendship...and from
what she now understood - his love.

And maybe that was the one thing that Gabrielle never expected to lose - and now
felt the emptiness within herself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I really need reviews guys! Someone tell me if this is corny or
if they could actually see this coming! I need some INPUT!! INPUT!!!
REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry that I haven't been posting the new chapters here guys!  I've been too
busy with the chaotic-ness that is my life!  Hope you guys enjoy the new
chapters!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Xena was silently watching Gabrielle from the other side of the road after
Armand had informed her that Joxer had turned around and was coming back - with
Elaine!

Now normally she would have just broken Joxer's nose for hurting Gabrielle, but
she had never known Joxer to hurt Gabrielle intentionally. Especially in any
physical way. Gabrielle hadn't told her what had caused the whole thing to
spiral into what happened...and Xena was more than just suspicious it had
everything to do with this Elaine girl.

Xena really hadn't been concerned about Elaine hanging around Joxer, she had
thought that her 'like' for him would soon vanish as his annoying habits began
to emerge.

What she hadn't expected was that Joxer had acted different around Elaine. Not
as if he was under a spell...but...he was just acting normally.

Not telling stories of his grandeur, not trying to impress her with his
'skills'.

Sadly, she realized that Joxer had been acting like...himself. The person that
she had seen all those years ago. Just under the surface of the act that he put
up.

It was that person that had won her friendship...and her trust.

Xena's eyes flicked over to the stable, where Gabrielle had entered almost
immediately after Xena had made sure she was alright.

Gabrielle wasn't acting like herself one bit. Whatever had been said...well...it
had to be something pretty big...

Suddenly she realized that Gabrielle finally knew that Joxer was in love with
her.

Xena's brow furrowed as a question quickly formed in her mind.

Could Gabrielle be in love with Joxer?

Xena shook her head with a small chuckle escaping her lips. The idea
was...well...

"Xena..."

Joxer's scared wavering voice shocked her.

Xena felt shocked as she took in the sight of the man before her.

Joxer...Joxer didn't have his helmet on. Xena's eyes quickly tried to see the
absurd artifact that had always accompanied the man she knew. Instead - she
found Elaine's hand wrapped around Joxer's, and as Xena's eyes settle on their
hands clasped together, Elaine squeezed Joxer's hand in an assuring way.

"I...I'm sorry...I...I would...I would never...I..." Joxer stuttered out his
apology.

"Joxer let his emotions get the best of him, and he's sorry that he hurt
Gabrielle. You know Joxer would NEVER intentionally hurt Gabrielle. He's sorry
it happened and he's going to make sure it never happens again." Elaine
elaborated for Joxer.

Joxer tightened his hand with Elaine's. Saying he was grateful for her words on
his behalf.

Elaine stared straight into the warrior princess' eyes, holding Joxer's hand,
knowing that Joxer loved Xena and respected her. Knowing just how hard it was to
even talk to her...now that he knew that Gabrielle's heart belonged to the
warrior woman.

Xena's eyes switched from the unwavering and almost challenging eyes of Elaine,
to the hurt and wincing one's of who she considered a friend.

Letting out a sigh Xena began to speak, "Joxer I know that you would never hurt
Gabrielle. At least not on purpose."

Xena saw the fear in his eyes as he looked at her - almost as if he was
expecting her to hurt him.

"Joxer, she's not going to kill you." Elaine said as her eyes had been examining
his as Joxer had been staring into Xena's sky blues.

The statement made her face fall. Joxer's lips contorted in that oh so familiar
way, that showed he was afraid nonetheless.

"Xena's still your friend Joxer...she at least cares for you as a friend."

Something with the words didn't sit well with Xena, or the way Joxer was looking
at her as if she really would hurt him. Fear...he always had in his eyes when
she gave him THE LOOK...but never when she wasn't. Inside her something twisted
at the idea that even after all this time...that Joxer could see the monster
that she once was.

"Joxer..." Xena starts, a look on her face soft and gentle. Worry furrowing her
brow as she sees things flash in Joxer's eyes that she had never seen before.
But the one that strikes her the most - is anger.

"I'm leaving with Elaine. I just wanted to warn you about the warlord that's
coming. A guy named Darcon." Joxer said as his eyes finally turned away from her
own, then jumped to anywhere but to her.

Xena's eyes did flash with anger then...but not at Joxer. Xena's eyes darkened
as her eyes beamed into Elaine's.

Elaine though...didn't flinch. Unfazed by Xena completely. And for some reason -
it unnerved her.

Xena looked back to Joxer with a stern look on her face, "I think me and Elaine
need to have a little chat."

Joxer tensed by Elaine, but Elaine squeezed his hand and looked over and into
his eyes with a small smile.

"It's ok." Elaine whispered.

Joxer slowly began to let go of Elaine's hand when Elaine grabbed it again.
Joxer stopped and looked at Elaine.

"You should apologize to Gabrielle." Elaine said with a look of sorrow on her
face.

Joxer didn't know if that was such a good idea, but as he turned to look at
Xena, he received a shadow of a smirk and a little nod. It was all Joxer needed
to let go of Elaine's hand and make his way over to the stable.

"I don't know what you said to Joxer, but if you try and turn him against us
you've..." Xena began as soon as Joxer was out of ear shot.

Elaine whirled her head and stared daggers at Xena, cutting her off before she
could make any threats.

"Don't you dare threaten me! I may be a stranger to you - but not only do I know
Joxer's heart and soul...I also know the future events that will lead to his
death! And I assure you Xena...you are the one responsible for his death!"

And it was as though Xena had been slapped in the face. A sudden look of anguish
covered her face as she looked at Elaine as if she wanted the words
revoked...almost the same look Joxer had given her not a few minutes before. But
Elaine pressed on, knowing that her words were changing future events and
wanting more than anything to be able to keep Joxer alive...and away from the
people that had been his reason for living.

"Tell me something Xena...did you ever...once! Just once! - Consider Joxer when
you had the visions of yours and Gabrielle's crucifixion?" Elaine asked with an
angry furrowed brow.

Xena felt her stomach drop as she heard the question. The idea that this woman
knew about her visions immediately making her realize that Elaine knew things
that she shouldn't. More though...was the knowledge that she had indeed...not
thought about Joxer.

Elaine didn't need Xena to answer, already knowing the answer to the question.

"You don't even know the man you call a friend!! You don't even know that if it
wasn't for his nightmares of you being in trouble that you'd still be on that
cross frozen as ice!!! That he had been traveling for days to try and reach you!
To SAVE YOU!! Did you know that Xena?! Did you know it was Joxer who even
thought about taking your bodies back to your homes? That Amarice and Eli were
going to just leave you there because it was too dangerous to try and get to
you!!"

Xena's stepped back from Elaine, trying to process the tirade Elaine was
unleashing on her, and still Xena felt as though she were as small as a newt.
The thought hadn't crossed her mind as to why Joxer had even been there - she
had just excepted it.

"He pushed them into helping him Xena." Xena's eyes again locked with Elaine's
as the anger inside her was somehow boiling over at the sight of a clueless
warrior princess.

Elaine tried to calm down...she really did. In the end she just couldn't keep
her mouth shut. Knowing what she did - how could she not try and protect the man
that these two woman had somehow managed to keep as a friend?

"You don't even see how much he's changed...have you?" Elaine asked as she saw
the look in the hormonal mother to be eyes.

It was this that caused the warrior princess to snap out of it.

"You're the one that's changing him! Joxer would never have hurt Gabrielle.
Whatever you did to make him..."

"I did nothing! Gabrielle is the one that attacked me! Joxer was defending me!"

Before Xena could protest Elaine continued.

"How could you possibly say that Joxer hasn't changed? Don't you know him at
all? Don't you see the small things that he doesn't do any more? Don't you see
how the light in his eyes are dull?"

Elaine watched as Xena's face took on a look on inner inspection - her own doubt
forcing her to see the things Elaine was explaining. At something in Elaine gave
with one simple thought.

Joxer loves Xena like a sister...and he will always be in love with Gabrielle.

Elaine moved her arm in a 'I can't handle this' sort of way, letting out a
shuddering sigh. Dropping her hand and again looking at Xena in the eye Elaine
spoke.

"I've watched you for years. Seen that Gabrielle was your light in the
darkness...your salvation...but not once have you ever questioned what this man
is for you. I mean...you've never even told him you love him...not even as a
friend! You've never even told him that...and you never will! How do you expect
me to walk away from him...to let him continue on a path that we'll leave him
heartbroken in more than one way? Would you respect me Xena? Would you honestly
say that if you were in my shoes...and Joxer was Gabrielle...could you honestly
tell me that you wouldn't do everything in your power to keep her safe?"

The words cut through Xena. Fighting with a sword came second nature to the dark
beauty, but the words unleashed on her had all but devastated her. Had she
really never said 'I love you' to Joxer? Was she really the reason for his
death? And how could she possibly step back and let Elaine shatter a friendship
with a man she now doubted she had any right to call friend?

"Joxer knows we care about him."

The words were murmured and barely spoken. But Elaine heard them...and let out a
humorless chuckle.

"No. No he doesn't Xena. And he never will...because despite everything that he
has ever done for you Xena," Elaine's eyes blazing with conviction stared into
the sea blue eyes of the warrioress, "you will never deserve his love."

Xena stood their trembling...of what she wasn't quite sure. All she knew was
that this woman had come out of nowhere and was pulling apart the only family
that she had had since she was a little girl. Joxer was a part of her family.
Even if she had never spoken the words or he had never been sure of her feelings
towards him - he would always be her family.

With Elaine's words had come a self realization that she had never considered
Joxer in any of her decisions. And Joxer had risked his life...on more than one
occasion for her...and even more for Gabrielle. Joxer had never asked anything
of her, except to be one of them. A hero...by her side. But as the years had
passed she had not noticed that it had become more than that. That Joxer had
been seeking more than just her 'sidekick'......Joxer had wanted to be her
family.

Gods! Could he really not know that I love him? Have I really messed up so badly
with Joxer that I can't even realize when I owe him my life?

The thought plagued her.

If Joxer really didn't know that she cared for him like she had Lyceus ... that
they were as close as brother and sister...than she really didn't deserve his
love.

Yet as Elaine began to turn towards the stable and walk away from her...Xena
realized that somehow this woman had been able to sidestep the main issue.

"Joxer hasn't been the same since you've shown up! He's never laid a hand on
Gabrielle before you came along!"

Elaine stopped in her tracks, and turned her head to glare at Xena. A few
seconds later Elaine was standing in front of her, anger etched in her features.
And with barely contained anger asked two questions that finally broke the
warrior princess of any doubts of Elaine...because the words she spoke answered
all her questions.

"Tell me something Xena...how does a man not change...after he's pulled down the
dead body of the woman he loves off a cross?"

Xena closed her eyes as the words hit her, and the next almost made her crumble.

"How does a man not change...after cradling the dead body of a woman he
considered his sister...blaming himself for not dieing in her place?"

And Xena did something that only Gabrielle bard of Potedaea had ever witnessed.
Xena allowed herself to cry.

Elaine's anger drained as she realized she had caused the fearless Xena to cry.
Ever so slowly Elaine shook her head.

"He deserves more than the life you've given him Xena."

And with that...Elaine walked away.

And there Xena stood, wondering how she would be able to watch Elaine take Joxer
away from them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok!  Reviews people!  Let me know what you think!

Here we go guys!  Another chapter!  Hope you all enjoy it!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Don't let her see you cry..don't let her see you cry..

That's all that keeps going through my mind as I enter the barn. Everything
inside of me is screaming at an image of her wrapped in Xena's arms.

I should have known better.

I should have seen this coming.

But I didn't.

And the urge to cry is too much.

My mind keeps shifting from the look that I had seen on her face to that of
Elaine's.

Gabrielle's beautiful emerald eyes that I had looked into - praying that she
would deny Elaine's words...that at least she hadn't been keeping me a friend
for her own private joke! But her eyes held something that I never expected
directed towards me.

Guilt.

I think my heart stopped as I realized what it all meant. I tried hard to fight
the tears then. But when my eyes turned back to Elaine's...and I saw the tears
gliding down her own eyes, I realized that Elaine was crying for me. For me!

When I had looked back at Gabrielle...it had hurt to see the look on her face.
Not denying that it was true...not denying that she could never love me.

It was what Elaine said next that hurt more than anything...the one thing I
hadn't been expecting...I'm such an idiot.

I should have known that Gabrielle was in love with Xena! I should have seen
it!!!

I've never felt more betrayed...more hurt and pain than in that one moment.

I look up from the barn floor and Gabrielle is standing with her hand caressing
her horses head, between the animals eyes as they stare back into Gabrielle's,
almost hypnotized by her. I don't blame it...I know what it's like.

"Gabrielle..." I whisper. I don't think I have the actual guts to speak loud
right now. Especially since I feel like its hard to breathe at all.

Gabrielle jumped slightly and removed her hand from her horse, quickly she wiped
her eyes and sniffled, trying to get a grip on her emotions. Turning she slowly
looked up to find Joxer standing a few feet in front of the door.

The lack of his armor and hat caused her eyes to widen slightly and her fear of
the events that had occurred to rise. Joxer never went anywhere without his hat.

Things were changing way too fast.

The Amazon Queen knew that his loving her would change everything...but Gods not
this fast...not with another woman turning him against her. Not like that.
Anything but like that.

Pain in her chest returned as her thoughts of this situation continued to run
through her mind.

The young male friend couldn't raise his eyes to look at her, looking at her
made his heart ache horribly, so he kept his eyes on his feet.

"I'm sorry I hurt you Gabrielle. I...I don't...I...I wasn't thinking straight
and...and I never wanted to hurt you." Joxer stuttered out with a quiver in his
voice.

Gabrielle's heart clenched as she realized he wasn't looking up at her on
purpose.

Gods he can't even stand the sight of me anymore!

Gabrielle had never felt a wave of self disgust more than in that moment. After
all the things that had made her doubt her self worth...nothing compared to that
moment when Joxer wouldn't even look at her. Trying to keep herself from getting
hurt, Gabrielle tried to dismiss what was happening.

Why do I care?! It's Joxer!! I'm not in love with him. He's just the same old
self proclaiming, highly obnoxious, egotistical JOXER!!!

Something close to calm settled over her after that thought. Her hurt from
seconds ago moving to anger - her fail safe emotion. And then something in her
snapped, as if she just realized who exactly it was that had thrown her across
the road not but an hour ago. Striding quickly to Joxer she fell back on how she
use to handle Joxer...she would never know how wrong a move she had made.

"OWWWW!!!!" Joxer yelled out as Gabrielle's firm grip on his nose made him
almost crumble to the ground. The force of the twist making his knees buckle
nonetheless.

"If you EVER try something that stupid again, I'm going to bash you to death
with my scrolls!!!"

And even though Joxer had been through this hundreds of times, even though the
physical pain she caused him was superficial, Joxer actually cried as she
continued to twist his nose. The most horrible thing though...was that Gabrielle
didn't seem to care. Never before had this act made him feel anything less for
her. Yet...today...in that moment - something happened that no one expected.

Joxer realized Gabrielle had never even loved him as a friend. And his love for
her...began to fade.

Aphrodite didn't know who to go to.

If she went to Zeus he would flip! Never had anything like this happened! Plus
there was the whole rumors of the twilight swirling around at the moment that
made her doubt that anyone would even believe that Elaine was just a coincidence
at the moment.

It didn't really matter though. Not only did she not belong here...but Aphrodite
had felt the heat wave of love leaving the girl...and it left traveled toward
Joxer! Aphrodite had dismissed it at first...thinking that the girl had not
known Joxer at all to have those feelings. Assuming that she was under another
God's spell or something.

Never in a million years had the Goddess realized that not only was the love she
felt for the loving dolt strong...but it was going to disrupt the waves that
Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer had towards each other. When Elaine had explained to
her where she was from...and the request to speak with Joxer...Aphrodite knew
that she was in MAJOR trouble.

Immediately she had gone to her son Cupid, asking if he knew anything about any
God bringing a human from another dimension. Cupid knew right away that his
mother was not only serious...but almost...well...scared.

"Mom I doubt this Elaine is any real danger. I mean...if she's from the future
and she knows anything about us at all, she'll know that messing with Xena and
her friends will only lead to trouble!"

"I don't know Cupid." Aphrodite said with a very adorable look of worry on her
face. "You didn't feel the love vibe this chick was throwing Joxer's way! It
felt...it felt..."

Cupid's eyebrows furrowed as he realized exactly what his mother was trying to
say.

"It felt pure." Cupid concluded for his mother with a look of concern now
forming on his face.

Aphrodite gave Cupid a look that could only be described as a fearful look of
confirmation.

"O. K. That's not good..." Cupid began when suddenly his mom gasped out and a
face of pure pain passed over her features.

Cupid was immediately at his mother's side...grabbing her before she could fall.

"MOM! MOM!!!" Cupid tried to shake his mother as the most fear he had ever felt
gripped him in such a mortal way that he actually didn't know what to do.

After a few seconds though Aphrodite drew in a shuddering breath and then began
to gasp as if she couldn't get enough air into her lungs.

"Mom are you ok?!" Cupid asked as he held his still gasping mother in his arms,
a look of fear so obvious on his face that even through the pain Aphrodite
caressed his cheek as she continued to pant.

"I'm ok." Aphrodite whispered to her baby boy.

It didn't stop the fear from consuming the god of love.

"What happened?! I've never seen this happen to you before." Cupid asked as he
lifted his mom in his arms, cradling her like she was a baby.

"It never has..."

Cupid made a decision then. With a flash he was no longer in his plush home
filled with light and love...but in the dark dank abode that was home to his
father...though he never even called him that. Uncle was the word that he had
always used...but he needed his father at the moment. Holding his mother in his
arms he spoke with a clear voice into the darkness around him.

"DAD!!"

 

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay! I just haven't felt inspired for this story since I don't have that many reviews for it yet! Hopefully that changes soon!

----------------------------------------------------------

Armand stared as the couple stood on the side of the road and kissed with a passion that almost made him envious. He hadn't known Joxer long and wasn't really that close with him, but Armand knew when to not disturb a man and his lady.

Xena had sent him looking for Joxer as she had seen to Gabrielle. Armand had seen the tears traveling down Gabrielle's face and had concluded that it was best if he went to look for Joxer.

Armand watched as the strange woman he had met briefly kissed Joxer as if she had waited years to kiss him. Yearning clearly displayed as the kiss grew with passion. Still he didn't leave as so much as hide. He may not have been a close friend of Joxer's…but Armand became just as suspicious of Elaine as Gabrielle had.

What did this woman see in Joxer?

Joxer pulled away slowly from Elaine's kiss and kept his eyes closed as he continued to reel from the current of emotions the kiss had caused him.

Elaine slowly opened her eyes to find him like this, a smile slowly spreading across her lips.

Joxer was an incredible loving soul. Despite everything she knew she couldn't let Joxer just walk away from Xena and Gabrielle. After all, they had helped him survive in the dangerous world they lived in. They were still his friends. Just not great friends. But friends nonetheless.

"I know you don't want to hear this...but...no matter what you think...they're still your friends."

Joxer's eyes dulled a moment as the words sank in. Slowly though he nodded his head in agreement.

Elaine kissed him once more and whispered against his lips, "I'll be with you the whole time."

Again Joxer lost himself in the kiss. A kiss that left him feeling desired, needed, and even loved.

Breaking the kiss took incredible strength on Elaine's part, but she began to pull Joxer back in the direction that they had came. Steadying her own resolve, that she would face Gabrielle and even Xena to be with Joxer. Elaine knew too much for them to try and push her away from him. In the end she would never let that happen. She was there to stay...whether or not they liked it.

Elaine smiled at Joxer and squeezed his hand that she held in her own. Joxer's worried face lightened slightly at the encouraging smile she gave him. Some strange thought entered his brain at her smiling face, he had never felt secure with any woman before...yet Elaine made him instantly feel that since the moment they had met. Not once did he feel inferior or even foolish. Elaine somehow made him feel ok about himself - ok that he felt the way felt.

But as his eyes turned back to the road ahead he could still see Gabrielle's crying and pain filled face in front of his, and a horrible ache in his heart would throb so powerfully that he knew it would remain there for months. Maybe even years.

With a sigh and a squeeze from Elaine's hand again, Joxer resigned himself to facing Gabrielle knowing what he now knew. Loving her had made him into the person he was, and knowing now that she would never love him back - it destroyed him. But the feel of Elaine's hand in his own reminded him that even as his heart was breaking...there was one person that was willing to return his love if he asked it.

Gabrielle held a hand to her chest as the ache within her caused her breathe to come in gasps. Never had she expected or seen this coming. Never had she felt as betrayed than when she looked up from the ground to find dark brown eyes that had always shined so brightly with joy and affection towards her had suddenly become dark as a night sky as hurt and pain reflected back at her from deep inside of him. Throwing her off of Elaine as if his loyalty from years had been flipped like a coin and landing with a decision that Gabrielle knew she couldn't live with. A decision she knew had been altered by a woman that had appeared as mysteriously as the sudden ache in her heart that was burning her from the inside out.

Tears continued to stream down her face even as Amarice comes up beside her and tries to whisper a question of friendship.

Gabrielle nods her head, not having heard what was asked and not caring. Images of just a few days ago enter her mind, almost tormenting her as she revisits them with a completely new perspective.

Joxer. Joxer looking at her so scared as he murmured his admission of love. Joxer's face as she woke up in the cave after having been crucified.

It wasn't a joke...

Unexpectedly and with clarity she realized he...he hadn't been lying. No. Lying was the wrong word. She just never thought that he was really in love with her.

Gabrielle's blue eyes widened as she was shocked at the well...she didn't really know what to call it...the revelation...the idea...no. No. The acknowledgment of his feelings.

It...she felt something in her tingle at the idea. That...that he hadn't just been 'thinking' that he loved her...at least not in that way.

Yet...the way he had looked at her, the pain she had seen reflected in his eyes seemed to wound her more than any physical injury. When she realized it was him that had recklessly pushed her off of Elaine - as she continued to stare into those beautiful soul filled eyes of his - she felt a huge pain in her chest and had been trying to 'massage' the area as if it could relieve the pain that she was in.

But it continued to ache and the pain wasn't lessening...it was increasing with each second that Joxer was gone.

Lowering her head she released the few tears that she argued with herself exactly why she was crying. And when she looked up to find Armand coming back quickly through the city gates...she realized that something was up for Armand to have been sent out after Joxer. Gabrielle hadn't noticed anything as Xena had quickly tried to access if she was injured or not. Then Gabrielle had whispered that Joxer had thrown her off...that was when Xena looked up into her eyes with the same shock that had been in Gabrielle's as she had realized it.

Xena had gone to Amarice and Armand a second later, but the blonde warrior had been to occupied with her own thoughts to listen in on the conversation. The only thing going through her mind were Elaine's words that had wounded Joxer so severely. Words that now seemed to repeat over and over in her head as she remembered the look in Joxer's eyes as Elaine had said them.

"She's not in love with you, and she never will Joxer. She's in love with Xena."

Gabrielle closes her eyes tightly as tears once more fall down her face. Knowing that not saying something to Joxer before had cost her his friendship...and from what she now understood - his love.

And maybe that was the one thing that Gabrielle never expected to lose - and now felt the emptiness within herself.

----------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I really need reviews guys! Someone tell me if this is corny or if they could actually see this coming! I need some INPUT!! INPUT!!! REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep!  Another Chapter!  Hopefully you guys like the story and are waiting for
the next update!

------------------------------------------------------

Elaine couldn't stop the anger inside of her from building. It seemed
incomprehensible to her that neither Xena nor Gabrielle had ever really stopped
to think about Joxer at all.

God! How many times had the man suffered because of these two FORGETTING about
his feelings!!

Elaine couldn't stop but feel herself losing her ability to control emotions for
a man she only knew through a television series...but THAT was the weird thing!
Joxer was soo much sweeter and warmer than she had ever seen on the show. In
fact his attempt at 'bravado' had yet to be seen, and Elaine knew that in the
show that aspect of Joxer had all but vanished.

Guilt had made him stop trying to show off to others that he was a big warrior -
and now that he had literally tossed away his armor AND HAT...Elaine knew that
the man that Joxer was and had been becoming was swallowed down by his need to
be beside the two woman that had become more than just his family. They had been
his heart.

As she opened the doors to find Gabrielle holding a fierce grip on Joxer's nose
as the young man obviously had fallen to his knees in pain...something made her
stop dead in her tracks.

This scene of Gabrielle hurting Joxer physically had been a staple of the
show...that seeing it up close and personal...it wasn't funny at all. Up until
yesterday she had understood that Joxer was needed for comic relief - that his
existence was to 'lighten' the dark drama that the show had become.

Yet at that very moment...Elaine didn't see any humor of how little this man's
heart had been treated.

Everything inside her screamed to hurt Gabrielle back...to physically hurt her
like she was Joxer. Something though, something in her stopped her. Slowly, an
epiphany of what none had ever seen to see in the woman before her made a
crawling skittish ascent to the forefront of her mind. And suddenly she spoke
the thought out loud.

"Eli never knew who you really were."

The shock of those words ringing through Gabrielle's ears caused her to let go
of Joxer's nose and look startling up at Elaine as she stood at the barn door.

Joxer remained kneeling in front of her, trying to keep the tears that
threatened to fall at bay.

Ever so slowly, keeping her eyes locked with Gabrielle's, Elaine moved towards
her. Words coming from a hidden file of thoughts in her mind - as if they had
been reserved for just this moment in time...like she was always destined to be
here in this moment.

"He knew Gabrielle companion of Xena...he knew Gabrielle the woman finding
herself...he even knew Gabrielle the woman who had lost her innocence..."

She was now just a few short feet away from Gabrielle, Xena now at the door and
stopping as she heard the words Elaine was saying.

"But he never knew this Gabrielle."

Gabrielle just stared at Elaine with a furrowed brow, Xena almost seemed to be
holding her breath, both not aware how the next few minutes would change a
'history' that had been destined to be - wiped clean as a clear glass window.

Elaine shook her head slowly.

"Who do you see when you look in the mirror?" The question was whispered...and
the answer left unanswered as Elaine continued.

"Is it this Gabrielle? Gabrielle the cold? Is it Gabrielle the selfish? Or is it
just Gabrielle the strong?"

Joxer couldn't seem to move as his head remained bowed as he let Elaine's words
wash over him. Never had anyone ever said they saw that in Gabrielle...and the
idea that someone did...made his heart break even more.

Gabrielle just couldn't stop staring into Elaine's, trying to understand what
Elaine was trying to say. Trying to fight the contempt that this woman made her
feel, and failing as the words leaving Elaine's mouth hit her sensitive
underbelly.

"Your...WAY!" Elaine's words were whispered as she continued to speak on...but
her disgust at the words soo strong that it was almost said like a curse.

Elaine's eyes were filled with tears.

"It's just...your...excuse!"

It was this that made Xena's mind understand what Elaine was trying to say...and
by all the gods above...it was the one thing she had always feared.

"It's just how you can justify....seeing....what the mirror reflects."

Xena closed her eyes as the words severed her heart like a sword. Somehow
knowing that these words held her own brutal truth.

"Love is what you preached. Love is what you told so many - that could conquer
hate. And it is the one thing you will never understand."

Gabrielle's eyes filled with confusion. It was as though Elaine didn't know
anything about her at all...but the next words...those made everything that
Gabrielle had ever thought of herself...crumble...like the city of Troy. It
undid all Gabrielle held to be true, and left her with a reality she did not
know existed.

Elaine finally made it the small distance to Joxer's side - in front of
Gabrielle. Slowly and with no indication of any sort of threat, Elaine kneeled
down next to Joxer.

Gabrielle followed the movement of the strange woman she barely knew. The sight
that she saw making her heart tighten - as if seeing the sight for the first
time.

Elaine lifted Joxer's tear streaked face, allowing the tears coming down from
his eyes to slide down his face as he kept his eyes closed. His face contorted
in such pain and sorrow as he kept his lips from voicing his sorrow.

Elaine turned his face slowly with just the tips of her fingers, and stared at a
man few had ever given count to. A man that had lived behind the shadows of not
just these two woman...but behind the shadows of two brothers...behind the
impressive stature of a demi-god...behind a soul that had never known love that
he had not bought - by money or degradation of himself. How could she let it
happen? Why is it that God could let him suffer so?

"How could you ever show love to a stranger," the words were barely a whisper,
"...if you can hurt a man who has walked down the path with you...and asked
nothing for his love in return."

The words made Joxer's eyes slowly open and stare into Elaine's beautiful eyes,
eyes that cried along with him for the second time that day.

Gabrielle saw the way Joxer's eyes looked into Elaine's...saw the love that this
woman held for Joxer...even as the words finally filtered through her mind.

In that moment Gabrielle knew that she had just lost Joxer's love...in that
moment she knew that Elaine was right.

She would never understand love...because she had just watched it slip away
before her very eyes. Lost what he had given so freely to her...taken from her
before she knew what was being offered.

Gabrielle wanted to die as she watched with a broken heart as Elaine slowly
leaned over and kissed Joxer's lips with a love that made Gabrielle want to
scream and hurt and crawl to the corner and cry. Her heart was beating so fast
and so hard as Gabrielle tried to breathe and just couldn't seem to do so.

Elaine pulled away and leaned her forehead against Joxer's. For a second letting
herself forget who exactly they were, and why exactly she was even there.

Just allowing herself to feel what she had not felt since oh so long ago.

"You're cursed...because you will never know what peace returning his love would
have given you."

Xena's own heart was pounding furiously as she realized that she couldn't let
that happen. Xena couldn't allow Elaine to take the love that she and Gabrielle
felt for this man...felt for their friend...and take the parts of his heart that
belonged to them...away.

It was this that pushed Xena into the barn, but stop dead as Elaine opened her
eyes and turned them to Xena.

And it was the accusation in her eyes that froze Xena to the spot. The look that
spoke of a truth Xena had not yet fathomed...until Elaine spoke them.

"How could you love a woman that destroyed so many lives for her own self
worth...and not a man who spared your life...before he ever really knew you?"

Gabrielle's eyes followed Elaine's as she had turned to look at Xena. The words
making their eyes lock on the others. Truth of the statement making Gabrielle
turn away in almost shame.

Xena couldn't even reel back from the words as Elaine spoke a question directed
to her...and not Gabrielle. It was a question that caused Joxer to turn and
stare at the blue eyed warrior princess.

"You've never even thanked him for not killing her....have you? Not once... "

Joxer's soft brown eyes swam with hurt as they looked into Xena's.

Xena tried to speak...tried to even say those words...her lips moving almost
desperately...but nothing would leave them.

Brown hurt soon turned to black anger as he realized that he didn't want to hear
the words from her now. Because those words from her now....it would be like she
was thanking him for giving Gabrielle to her. Joxer just couldn't hear those
words ever come out of her mouth towards him from that day forward...it hurt to
much to know the truth behind them.

Staggering up he realized he had been crying and tried to wipe the tears away,
but Elaine stopped him as she too stood up next to him.

Gabrielle oddly noted for the first time that Elaine was taller than her...irony
of her thoughts being that Elaine could literally and emotionally reach Joxer
more than she ever had.

Elaine's hands stole up to the sides of Joxer's face and brought his forehead
down to press down on hers. Words whispered to him so quietly that only he heard
them.

"It's ok now Joxer. You don't have to love them anymore. It's your love. It's
yours to give, and it's yours to take away."

And even as his strong love for Gabrielle began to dim as a candle burning
itself out...another began to kindle for a woman he barely knew. One that held
him in her arms. Kissed him...comforted him! A stranger who had barely known him
for two days...and had managed to speak his deepest pain that he had hidden away
from all's eyes - she was the one who gave him what he had never received
freely.

Her love.

Here's the links to chapters 1,2,3,&4 - In order!

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/jffg/message/5690
http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/jffg/message/5693
http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/jffg/message/5707
http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/jffg/message/5708

Hope that Helps!  Hopefully I can complete this thing and we can have it on the
JFFG website!  Cross your fingers guys!

--- In jffg@yahoogroups.com, Howard McGee <h.mcgee@...> wrote:
>
> On 11/04/2010 10:29 AM, magicatlantian wrote:
> >
> > Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay! I just haven't felt inspired for
> > this story since I don't have that many reviews for it yet! Hopefully
> > that changes soon!
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Armand stared as the couple stood on the side of the road and kissed
> > with a passion that almost made him envious. He hadn't known Joxer
> > long and wasn't really that close with him, but Armand knew when to
> > not disturb a man and his lady.
> >
> > Xena had sent him looking for Joxer as she had seen to Gabrielle.
> > Armand had seen the tears traveling down Gabrielle's face and had
> > concluded that it was best if he went to look for Joxer.
> >
> > Armand watched as the strange woman he had met briefly kissed Joxer as
> > if she had waited years to kiss him. Yearning clearly displayed as the
> > kiss grew with passion. Still he didn't leave as so much as hide. He
> > may not have been a close friend of Joxer's...but Armand became just
> > as suspicious of Elaine as Gabrielle had.
> >
> > What did this woman see in Joxer?
> >
> > Joxer pulled away slowly from Elaine's kiss and kept his eyes closed
> > as he continued to reel from the current of emotions the kiss had
> > caused him.
> >
> > Elaine slowly opened her eyes to find him like this, a smile slowly
> > spreading across her lips.
> >
> > Joxer was an incredible loving soul. Despite everything she knew she
> > couldn't let Joxer just walk away from Xena and Gabrielle. After all,
> > they had helped him survive in the dangerous world they lived in. They
> > were still his friends. Just not great friends. But friends nonetheless.
> >
> > "I know you don't want to hear this...but...no matter what you
> > think...they're still your friends."
> >
> > Joxer's eyes dulled a moment as the words sank in. Slowly though he
> > nodded his head in agreement.
> >
> > Elaine kissed him once more and whispered against his lips, "I'll be
> > with you the whole time."
> >
> > Again Joxer lost himself in the kiss. A kiss that left him feeling
> > desired, needed, and even loved.
> >
> > Breaking the kiss took incredible strength on Elaine's part, but she
> > began to pull Joxer back in the direction that they had came.
> > Steadying her own resolve, that she would face Gabrielle and even Xena
> > to be with Joxer. Elaine knew too much for them to try and push her
> > away from him. In the end she would never let that happen. She was
> > there to stay...whether or not they liked it.
> >
> > Elaine smiled at Joxer and squeezed his hand that she held in her own.
> > Joxer's worried face lightened slightly at the encouraging smile she
> > gave him. Some strange thought entered his brain at her smiling face,
> > he had never felt secure with any woman before...yet Elaine made him
> > instantly feel that since the moment they had met. Not once did he
> > feel inferior or even foolish. Elaine somehow made him feel ok about
> > himself - ok that he felt the way felt.
> >
> > But as his eyes turned back to the road ahead he could still see
> > Gabrielle's crying and pain filled face in front of his, and a
> > horrible ache in his heart would throb so powerfully that he knew it
> > would remain there for months. Maybe even years.
> >
> > With a sigh and a squeeze from Elaine's hand again, Joxer resigned
> > himself to facing Gabrielle knowing what he now knew. Loving her had
> > made him into the person he was, and knowing now that she would never
> > love him back - it destroyed him. But the feel of Elaine's hand in his
> > own reminded him that even as his heart was breaking...there was one
> > person that was willing to return his love if he asked it.
> >
> > Gabrielle held a hand to her chest as the ache within her caused her
> > breathe to come in gasps. Never had she expected or seen this coming.
> > Never had she felt as betrayed than when she looked up from the ground
> > to find dark brown eyes that had always shined so brightly with joy
> > and affection towards her had suddenly become dark as a night sky as
> > hurt and pain reflected back at her from deep inside of him. Throwing
> > her off of Elaine as if his loyalty from years had been flipped like a
> > coin and landing with a decision that Gabrielle knew she couldn't live
> > with. A decision she knew had been altered by a woman that had
> > appeared as mysteriously as the sudden ache in her heart that was
> > burning her from the inside out.
> >
> > Tears continued to stream down her face even as Amarice comes up
> > beside her and tries to whisper a question of friendship.
> >
> > Gabrielle nods her head, not having heard what was asked and not
> > caring. Images of just a few days ago enter her mind, almost
> > tormenting her as she revisits them with a completely new perspective.
> >
> > Joxer. Joxer looking at her so scared as he murmured his admission of
> > love. Joxer's face as she woke up in the cave after having been crucified.
> >
> > It wasn't a joke...
> >
> > Unexpectedly and with clarity she realized he...he hadn't been lying.
> > No. Lying was the wrong word. She just never thought that he was
> > really in love with her.
> >
> > Gabrielle's blue eyes widened as she was shocked at the well...she
> > didn't really know what to call it...the revelation...the idea...no.
> > No. The acknowledgment of his feelings.
> >
> > It...she felt something in her tingle at the idea. That...that he
> > hadn't just been 'thinking' that he loved her...at least not in that way.
> >
> > Yet...the way he had looked at her, the pain she had seen reflected in
> > his eyes seemed to wound her more than any physical injury. When she
> > realized it was him that had recklessly pushed her off of Elaine - as
> > she continued to stare into those beautiful soul filled eyes of his -
> > she felt a huge pain in her chest and had been trying to 'massage' the
> > area as if it could relieve the pain that she was in.
> >
> > But it continued to ache and the pain wasn't lessening...it was
> > increasing with each second that Joxer was gone.
> >
> > Lowering her head she released the few tears that she argued with
> > herself exactly why she was crying. And when she looked up to find
> > Armand coming back quickly through the city gates...she realized that
> > something was up for Armand to have been sent out after Joxer.
> > Gabrielle hadn't noticed anything as Xena had quickly tried to access
> > if she was injured or not. Then Gabrielle had whispered that Joxer had
> > thrown her off...that was when Xena looked up into her eyes with the
> > same shock that had been in Gabrielle's as she had realized it.
> >
> > Xena had gone to Amarice and Armand a second later, but the blonde
> > warrior had been to occupied with her own thoughts to listen in on the
> > conversation. The only thing going through her mind were Elaine's
> > words that had wounded Joxer so severely. Words that now seemed to
> > repeat over and over in her head as she remembered the look in Joxer's
> > eyes as Elaine had said them.
> >
> > "She's not in love with you, and she never will Joxer. She's in love
> > with Xena."
> >
> > Gabrielle closes her eyes tightly as tears once more fall down her
> > face. Knowing that not saying something to Joxer before had cost her
> > his friendship...and from what she now understood - his love.
> >
> > And maybe that was the one thing that Gabrielle never expected to lose
> > - and now felt the emptiness within herself.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Author's Note: I really need reviews guys! Someone tell me if this is
> > corny or if they could actually see this coming! I need some INPUT!!
> > INPUT!!! REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >
> >
> Is it possible to have links to earler chapters of this Fanfic please?
>

Ares shimmered in to the temple with his back turned to Cupid.

"What are you doing here? I have…"

"DAD!"

Ares whirled around as the fear in Cupid's voice registered, along with the
title that his son had not spoken in over a millennia.

The sight of Aphrodite laying limp in his sons arms made the coldness in his
heart shatter as something as close to human fear flitted through it.

He was lifting Aphrodite into his own hold before he even knew he had moved.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Ares yelled as Aphrodite whimpered and shivered as a cold
sweat broke out over her forehead. Her eyes closed as if she was having a
nightmare.

"I don't know…one second we were talking about some girl named Elaine and the
next…" Cupid shook his head trying to figure out what was going on.

Then Aphrodite's eyes snapped open as a scream sprang from her lips, and through
instinct Ares cradled her all the more tightly to himself.

Both men began to quickly discuss what could be happening.

But a second later Aphrodite let out a shuddering sigh as something inside her
began to fill with a new warmth that she had not experienced before. It grew and
grew until she beamed with a white radiant light that shocked both father and
son.

Slowly the glow subsided and Aprhrodite became slowly aware of who held her.

"Ar?"

"DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS?!!!" Ares roared as the fear
finally subsided and anger at not knowing engulfed him.

Aphrodite paid little attention to his outburst as she realized that Ares was
holding her to him like he did oh so long ago. Before there were so many
mortals, before either of them had anyone but each other. A soft smile came to
her lips as those long ago memories surfaced.

Ares watched the small smile form on her lips and couldn't stop the small quirk
to his lips as he recognized that smile. A small that let him know she was
remembering the past they shared.

"You haven't held me this close in a long time." Both Ares and Cupid smiled at
the statement.

Slowly Ares placed her on her own feet, carefully as if expecting her to
collapse again – but Aphrodite stood on her own without so much as a grimace.

"You mind telling us what that was?" Cupid asked his mother in a much calmer
tone than his father had.

Aphrodite's beautiful face formed into an unattractive one as she thought about
the question.

"I honestly don't know Cupie…It's never happened before."

"What happened before you went to talk to Cupid?" Ares asked.

Aphrodite's face became somber and formed into one of dred as she swallowed down
a lump in her throat.

Ares knew that whatever had happened…was not good.

I can't stop feeling that I've managed to undo Joxer's fate. I can't help myself
but feel relieved that I actually did it.

But as I stand here with him, watching the tears slowly slide down his face...I
know that beyond everything...everyone would be better off.

The way Joxer's leaning against me makes me content and sad all at the same
time. If he could ever love me back it would be a gift from God. And even if he
doesn't...I would help him see through the horrors that I know he would face in
this world without me.

Slowly Joxer pulls away from Elaine's embrace and turns to look at Xena. Xena's
eyes were moist, as if the warrior wanted to cry - but Joxer doubted Xena would
show any kind of weakness around him. Why should she? It wasn't as though their
friendship had been a joke to her. All of those years thinking that Xena was
just keeping her mouth shut for his benefit.

God's I'm an Idiot!

He should have known that he would just be a joke to her.

Elaine could see from the way he straightened his spine that his thoughts had
become serious. Knowing that Joxer had a tendency to say things without
thinking, Elaine quickly spoke before Joxer could get a chance to say anything.

"Joxer and I are going to be traveling together for awhile."

This caused Gabrielle to snap her head back to look at Joxer and Elaine. A
sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that it was wrong that
Joxer travel with Elaine. Xena's own eyes showing her shock as well, but it was
Joxer's words that made her keep her protest at bay.

"I...I think I need....time...ta think about stuff...away from you guys..."
Joxer stuttered out the words as he kept his eyes on the ground, and his head
tilted down. Elaine knew it was because he didn't have the strength to look Xena
in the eyes as he said the words.

Xena inhaled slowly, then quietly said "Ok."

Joxer nodded slightly.

Suddenly a flash of yellow blue and pink was beside Joxer and Elaine.

"WOW! You are putting off some MAJOR vibes!" Cupid exclaimed as he looked at
Elaine and then Joxer.

Aphrodite's worried look was noticed by Xena. The pout of worry on the goddesses
face causing something in Xena to realize that something must really be wrong to
cause it. But all of her focus was cut off as she noticed the third party.

"Ares." Xena snarled as her lips curled in disgust.

Ares usually would smile or taunt Xena, but his eyes were focused on Elaine.

"How the hell did you get here?" Ares asked smoothly.

Elaine though just smirked in amusement and then a crooked smile broke out.

"Black hole! Created a link between two and hitched a ride here!" Elaine stated
with a cute smile.

Ares grinned back at Elaine, for some unknown reason...he was impressed with the
way she answered him. Almost coyly...but with an air of humor.

Of course the smirk caused a frown and furrowed brow on the warrior princesses
face.

"You do realize that you being here has altered our universes timeline and all
out future." Ares stated more than asked.

Elaine glanced at Joxer and then back at Ares.

"Somethings are worth altering time for."

"Ares what do you want?" Xena asked with less venom than normal - something
about Ares talking with Elaine was unsettling...and Xena knew that she had to
figure out why Ares was here.

"Sis came by passed out and looking like Hades paid her a visit...you can
imagine my concern that this," motioning to Elaine, "mortal showing up might
have something to do with it."

"Ares stay out of this! Why don't you go back to your..." Xena was already
winding up for her one of many cut downs, but she never got the chance.

"What is your problem?!" Elaine exclaimed as she turned to stare at Xena.

It was at this point that mortal and gods watched in shock a show that none had
ever seen before.

"Seriously you hardly ever give the man any chance to explain himself! Cut him
some slack will yah?!!" Elaine said with such exasperation as she again turned
back to look at Ares.

It only took a second for Xena to recover though. And it was the first time that
Elaine understood why people feared her. The iciness of her words made her
freeze for a second.

"You have no clue who you're talking to girlie! So I'm going to say this one
time and nicely as I can. Ares is nothing but trouble and if he..."

Joxer watched in amusement as Elaine rolled her eyes and again interrupted
Xena..he had never seen someone pull this off.

"Yeah Yeah! Blah blah blah blah! For some reason I think you're forgetting that
the God that you know didn't exactly pick his job!! He was kind of given it at
birth! I doubt when Hera and Zeus had him they were like," Elaine began to point
at the three gods and speak in a manly fashion, " 'Well we have a goddess of
Love so now I think we need a god of War...who wants to be God of War?' Do you
think Ares was Jumping up and down going 'Pick Me! Pick Me!' NO! So why don't
you show the man the respect he deserves!" Elaine said with a huff and again
turned back to Ares.

All in the room except Elaine stepped back in fear as Xena's eyes sparkled with
the craziness they often did when someone had pushed the wrong button.

"RESPECT!! THE MAN IS EVIL INCARNATE!!!!" Xena yelled as she began to walk
towards Elaine in anger.

But everyone was shocked as Elaine just turned and snarled at Xena.

"Without HATE we wouldn't know LOVE. Without WAR we wouldn't know PEACE! Without
DEATH we wouldn't know LIFE!!! Are you starting to get the picture princess?!"

Ares saw the second that Xena snapped and went to lunge for Elaine but before
Xena couldn't even move Ares and made her materialize closer to him, but still
remained next to Joxer.

Elaine turned towards Ares with a furrowed brow, as did Joxer.

Ares just stood their with a look of bafflement on his face.

Slowly though...Elaine's face formed into a soft smile as she understood that he
didn't have a clue as to why he stopped Xena from hurting her.

"You're really a nice guy...you just can't be because of what you do." Elaine
whispered the words just enough that Ares and Joxer heard her.

Ares just looked into Elaine's eyes with confusion.

Elaine lifted her hand and held his cheek, and at the gesture all looked on in
shock.

"No one has ever thanked you for what you do...or what you have given up - to
make sure that there's a balance to everything. But I thank you. For being
something that no one wants to be, and for doing a job that noone would want to
do."

Ares face was blank as he processed the woman's words, his eyes unable to look
away from the look that was being bestowed upon him.

Then something happened that made Xena feel as though SHE had been slapped.

Elaine leaned up and gently placed a kiss on Ares' lips. Not long or romantic
like she had with Joxer, but a kiss that showed emotions that Ares had only felt
with one woman...and it was enough that the woman that he had felt it with again
gasped in pain and clutched her heart.

"AHHH!" Aphrodite gasped and put a hand to her chest. Cupid immediately dove to
grab his mother, but Ares took a second to act as he too went to help Aphrodite.

Slowly the ache in her chest began to fade and she was finally able to look up
into dark brown eyes and bright blue ones.

"You've got to be KIDDING ME!!!" Aphrodite all but shrieked at Ares. Only Cupid
and Aphrodite witnessed the blush on the god of war's cheeks before he stopped
the sensation he had been experiencing.

"Are you ok?" Elaine asked as she moved over to see if Aphrodite was fine or
not, Joxer beside her with a look of concern on his face as well.

Aphrodite couldn't help herself, she smiled in assurance at Joxer. Slowly Joxer
smiled back, along with Elaine.

"Don't worry sweetcheeks! I'm ok." Aphrodite responded.

"Are you sure?" Joxer asked in a scared sort of way, very much uncomfortable
being this close to three gods - especially these three gods.

"Let's just say that I do NOT want to get use to it!" Aphrodite said as Cupid
slowly pulled her into an upright position. Aphrodite gave Ares a little stare
saying they were going to have a 'little' talk.

Ares closed his eyes, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.

_________________________________________________________________

Author's Note: Ok Peeps!  What do you think?