I am breaking my long silence due to a strange discovery...it is
funny what you come up with when you Google yourself.

My story "Working Overtime" was translated into Russian last year and
can be found at www.rxwp.ru .  How the translator (Imprest) managed
to cope with American idioms is beyond me, given what I saw in
Google's back translation.  "Joxer" is transliterated
into "Dzhokser", and the Gabrielle & Joxer Romantics Society
is "Romantic Club Gabriel and Dzhoksera".  (Russian, like Latin and
Greek, has different endings for different cases.)

Of course I printed out copies for my archives.  Just a curious
footnote.  People seem to pick up on it at fanfiction.net, too.

My current projects are the Theseus novel and one or two potential
model railroading articles.  Naturally much of my spare time goes to
Maria.

Hope you are all doing well.  The recent stories I've seen look good.

Break a leg,

Phil

hi,
i'm looking for a fic that i can't find, it's a joxer/ares pairing
where joxer has gone to ireland and become a follower of the morrigan
and then comes back to greace to reap justice on zeus - it's better
than i describe
if anyone knows this fic please help me!!

Hey all!

Just putting out the call for G/J fanfic, if you've got it and want to
share it on the new GJRS website.  Let me know, eh?  I'll be putting up
all the fic from the old site, so if you had anything from the old site,
I'll probably have it for the new site.  Send it anyway!

nacey (a) iinet dot net dot au

Hugs,
Nancy.

http://gabbyjoxer.byethost24.com/

It's a bit empty at the moment, but that's because I'm still yet to
rebuild the gallery and fill up the website with articles.  If you have
anything to say about Gab/Jox, anything at all, please email me and let
me know.

At least send me back a short email that's telling me I'm not speaking
to the crickets?  (And Rupert LOL!)

Cheers,
Nancy.

No, you're not seeing things. I'm releasing this as I go for once!

*What Is A Hero?
* *©2006.
*By Nancy Lorenz.
*
**Disclaimers:* Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer and Callisto are
all characters owned by MCA/Universal studios. All Gods but Aphrodite
and Ares written from Greek Myth, with some Xena canon thrown in. No
money is being made from this creation.

*Content: *G/J, A/X.

*Chronology:* Before the Sacrifice episodes. Let's pretend, just for
this series, that Hope never lived past Maternal Instincts. Nup. The
bitch was poisoned, she died. For my sanity, mmkay?

*Author's Notes:* This story would be nothing without the help and
advice of Sandy, a darling woman I only really got to know well years
AFTER Xena finished, yet she was around at the time. Call it madness -
I've been missing out on the friendship of an awesome person! I also
thank Findle, for all the times I've pounced upon him online, nattered
in his ear about my story and probably bored him utterly shitless. Tina,
my little baby sister, too has had me do this to her. So to them - thank
you. You've helped me immensely.

*Rating:* Still To Be Rated (Tentative M+15)


/No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies/

/But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free/

"Behind Blue Eyes"
The Who.



*/Prologue /*


The room was warm, a fire crackling at the hearth. Not a real fire, but
there was no one there to criticize. Well - no one that cared. Nearby
was a round table bedecked with perfectly ripe fruits that exuded a rich
tart smell, and an ornate crystal amphora, filled to the brim with rich
blood-red wine. It was the kind of fair that he was used to. He was a
God, one of the most loved in Greece, mainly because he was the eldest.
First son of Zeus, handsome, virile symbol of masculinity and headstrong
passions. Reduced to cringes as his sister laughed at him openly.

He had no reason to trust her. He wasn't even sure why he let her into
his realm. He supposed they both kept an eye on the Amazons, and they
were a pet project that Artemis was utterly obsessed with. He knew that
deep down, it had to burn Artemis right up that they were *his*
creation, he made them and that his energy ran through their veins and
made them as magnificent and terrible as they were, even though they
worshipped Artemis as well.

He let her talk, hoping to figure out why in Hades' realms she was here
bothering him.

"Again?" she chuckled. "She got away again?"

Ares rolled his tongue around in his mouth darkly. "Yeah, so?"

Artemis tisked through a pout. Her hair was the black of the darkest
midnight, framing her healthy olive skinned face. Her deep brown eyes
regarded him coldly as she cleaned her under her nails with the tip of
one of her arrows.

"Honestly brother, how hard can a mortal female be to defeat?"

"What makes you think I'm trying to defeat her?” He snorted
nonchalantly. "It's gratification I want from her."

He knew that story wouldn’t slide forever, and it didn’t seem to
convince his sister. Artemis rose an eyebrow only for a moment, a smirk
forming on her pointed lips. She laughed at him again, her grin
emphasizing her nymph like nature, her knee high sandals and short toga
making her look younger than she was by a few millennia. The grin didn't
seem to reach her eyes.

"Yes, I know. It's pathetic," she said, and her smile turned to an
derisive grimace. "Some God of War you are. Can't do your job because of
your preoccupation with this Xena woman! And people wonder why I choose
to be chaste."

"Woah - who says I'm not doing my job?" he growled.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Oh, just about everyone in the Pantheon. Not
that you've ever been very good at doing anything other than getting
your butt kicked."

"Hey!"

She sighed, waving a hand at him. "Don't pretend it's any different, Ar.
Anyway. You've been worse since Xena. Everything you do is connected to
her somehow. When's the last time you tricked two warlords into fighting
each other till neither of them were left standing? Whatever happened to
goading the Spartans? Teasing the Aegeans?"

"I've been busy," he said, shrugging and frowning into his goblet of
wine. "I've just been planning something really good... really horrific."

A lie. A laugh from Artemis told him that she obviously didn't buy his
excuses, and fewer of the Olympian Gods did every day. He was fast
running out of relatives to bullshit to. A worry flowered in his chest,
that perhaps Zeus had sent Artemis here. It would be like him to get one
of his favourite daughters to grill him about this sort of thing. Just
the sort of relative to make him mad and fly off the handle, making some
terror and destruction in the process. Perhaps his paranoia was getting
the better of him, but he knew better than to take Artemis on face value.

She blinked at him with gleaming dark brown eyes. "Seriously, Ares... we
must do something about this... 'thing' you have for Xena."

“I haven’t got a thing for Xena,” he said sternly, getting up from his
pew and strolling to the lounge fetching some wine. “I liked the havoc
she caused, the fighting, the leather, the brass...” Not that he knew
it, but his confident smirk grew a little distant.

Artemis rolled her eyes and groaned. “Who are you trying to kid?" She
sighed, leaning back in the chair she sat in. "Come on Ares, busty
brassy Valkyries are a dinar a dozen. Why not find another human to play
with awhile, huh?”

Ares shuffled on the spot uncomfortably.

Artemis looked to him with disdain. “You always have to get obsessed
with the difficult ones, don't you?” She sighed huffily. "You know she
can't stand you. You're everything she hates... you're conniving,
cowardly, evil and male. Not to mention twisted and entirely self-centred."

He handed her a clay cup of wine tiredly. "Thanks." He added with a
frown. "May I point out she doesn't have a problem with men?"

"No, just you." She sipped the wine thoughtfully. "You’ve been trying to
get this Xena back for years. She's hardly worth the fuss, is she?"

A long sigh left Ares as he tipped his head to the side. "She's only a
one in a million, Art."

"Oh please." Any sympathy the Goddess may have been showing fell from
her demeanour as she squared her shoulders and set her dark eyes at her
brother. "Well, tell me. What's wrong with the way things are now? She's
a warrior, isn't she? She fights?"

"Yes, she fights, and I enjoy it." He didn't tell her that he lived for
it. That he loved every moment her heart thumped as she wielded a weapon
or brought her own flesh to bear on someone's body, that it made him
feel alive like nothing else did. He thought she wouldn't have taken it
very well. Either way, it was crystal clear in his warm brown eyes, and
Artemis saw it.

She sighed, getting to her feet and strolling over to Ares. She placed
her hands on his shoulders, massaging them in a somewhat awkward
approximation of sisterly affection. It didn't work because everyone
knew, including Ares, that Artemis was close to nobody but Apollo and
her nymphs.

"Oh Ares, you can do better than her. You are the God of War. You
deserve a princess!"

"Funny," he muttered.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's it. Little sister is gonna
finally do you a favour and help you out with your Xena hang-up, okay?"

"What do you mean, help me?" He frowned at her, brows knitting. "Since
when did you ever help me with anything, Artemis?"

"Since it's messing with the balance of things, Ares," she said, doing
her best to look innocent and caring. "Everyone in Olympus wants this
little mess sorted. So do you want my help or not?"

"Right. Fine. Whatever," he bit out, rubbing his eyelids.

"One condition, though."

He glanced up at her doggedly. "Name it," he said darkly.

"If it doesn't work I want you to drop this thing okay? Father is
getting really worried about you, and as a God you have your
responsibilities. Enough of your time has been taken up by this mortal.
I think all the family would be in agreement that it is time to end this
one way or another."

He felt dread wash over him and he pursed his lips, running a finger
over his beard briskly. "What's your plan?"

Artemis grinned, massaging his shoulders once more with vigour.

"Well... one thing you should realise is that you can't romance a woman
with deals or bribery or blackmail. I know, you're a War God, it's your
style..." She ticked a nostril with distaste. "You might have been lucky
with Xena by now if you hadn't treated her like a commodity all this time."

Ares sighed, a little petulantly. "You wanna get to the point?"

"You know Daddy has a saying," she said, leaning on his shoulder and
batting her eyelashes at him. "Keep it simple, stupid."

~~*~~*

*

*What Is A Hero?*
by Nancy Lorenz

Author's Note:  Last email should have said Prologue.  My whoopsie!

~~*~~

/*Chapter One*/

Gabrielle crouched behind the shelf of assorted gourds as Xena tried her
utmost to blend into the armour rack.  She barely breathed, keeping as
still as she possibly could.  She hoped upon hope that they'd hear what
they needed to hear sometime soon, because she was utterly sick of
reconnaissance work.  With a growl she stretched her neck.

"Xena... please.  They're not coming here, obviously."

For that Gabrielle earned an angry glare from Xena, which she took to
mean that the warrior woman wanted her to shut the heck up.

Rolling her eyes, Gabrielle sighed and tried her best to get comfortable
behind the shelf.  It was impossible.  She had barely a foot of space to
stand in, and if she breathed too deeply her breasts would brush the
shelf and make it shudder.   She could see the shop owner looking rather
annoyed.  Obviously the inconvenience of having two of the known world's
most dangerous warrior women in his shop, ready and willing to beat the
ever-loving crap out of him if he didn't fulfill their most humble
request, was too much for him.

It was while Gabrielle started to get irritated with a stone caught in
her boot that she began to hear a familiar sound.  The rhythmic and
syncopated 'clank-di-clunk' that could only be produced by a particular
set of mis-matched armour.  She felt herself tense, and glancing to
Xena, she saw that her best friend was not expecting this either.

"Did you tell him?" she mouthed to Xena.

Xena shook her head quickly.

Shit, she thought, gritting her teeth.  It's not that she minded Joxer's
company.  She'd gotten used to it a long time ago and it had become that
she actually liked having the dork around.  Heck.  He was family, what
else could she say?   But of all the times he had to run into them...

The heavy wooden door of the shop opened and closed noisily, and
Gabrielle felt a hot annoyance spread through her as the exact person
she didn't want to see ambled into the room.  Pointed helm on
scruffy-haired head, the fellow strode around the room, humming and
hawwing and nodding at the wares about him.  Under the annoyance tickled
a chuckle, and Gabrielle had to shake her head with an affectionate smirk.

"How much is this sword, good man?" boomed Joxer, pointing at a
particularly handsome blade, trying to sound as manly as he could.

By the Gods, groaned Gabrielle in thought, He's going to make me lose
our cover.  I don't know how, but he will...

"Wow!" he said, voice returning to normal, "That's a lot of dinars!"
Pointing in Gabrielle's direction, he began to wander away from the shop
counter.  "I'll just go have a look at your gourds... Nice, wonderful
gourds."

Gabrielle's smirk froze on her face as Joxer stopped in front of the
very shelf she hid behind.  The backless shelf she could probably be
seen through.

The pretty bard kept her face stony still, and she could feel his dark
eyes skim past her.  Her heart shuddered, and she wished she didn't have
to hide from him.  If only he'd ran into us on the road, she thought.
Damn it to the Gods.  If the man we're after comes into the door now,
and he sees that Xena and I are here, then everything will be ruined...

She watched him round the corner of the gourd rack, and he began to
examine the armour.  She saw the same expression on Xena's face that she
was sure she had worn.  Worry, fear, regret.

"Maille," muttered Joxer, strolling along.  "Leather vest... bronze
chest plate... Xena."  He did a double-take, pointing through the rack.
"Xena!"

Xena winced. "Joxer! Hi!  How are you?"

His mouth wagged, and Gabrielle tensed all over as confusion mounted in
Joxer's expression.

"I'm fine," he said, and pointed to the door, and then to himself. "I
just - I was - "

To Gabrielle's chagrin, her stressed breaths caused the shelf of gourds
to shudder, and Joxer turned, spotting her instantly this time.

"Gabrielle!"

"Joxer, get down!"

Hearing the door-knob clank, Gabrielle grabbed Joxer, yanking him behind
the shelf with her.  "Keep STILL!" she hissed.

"Were you guys hiding from me?"

"NO!  Now, shut UP!"

"What's-"

Joxer hushed, probably instinctually, as the hugest warrior either of
them had seen in a while plodded into the room.

"Haradros!" roared the warrior.  "You got the message?"

"I did," said Haradros, the armoury and supplies dealer, looking very
tense indeed.  "Perhaps you can come back later, when I have the time to
tend to your needs..."

Of a sudden a shield sprang from its place on the wall and crashed right
next to Haradros, who jumped a clear foot in the air.  Neither the
warrior nor Haradros saw the chakram that had caused the shield to ping
from the wall.  The warrior growled, and leaning across the counter, he
grabbed Haradros by the collar of his shirt.

"Listen.  Mallecium arranged a time for me to order the goods.  If you
can't do it, then me and a few of my friends will come around and make
it so you can.  Got it?"

Haradros shuddered from head to toe. "Y-y-yes!"

"Right."  The warrior let him go, and straightened himself out. "Let's
see here... where's the list?" Haradros looked panicked, and he bounced
a little on his feet as the warrior looked away to search through the
pouch on his belt.  "Here we are!  He-he.  The thing you want the most
is always at the bottom of your bag, isn't it?"  Haradros winced, trying
to make it a friendly grin.  "So where are we here?  Ah!  Ten swords...
the nice kind with the rough edges that pull your enemy's guts out, you
know which one I mean?  Good, good.  Uh, we want shields to go with
them.  Heavy wood, iron reinforcements...  We all got our own daggers,
but we'll need a whole bunch of arrows and spears for the artillery.
The numbers are all here, anyway..."  The warrior handed a small piece
of parchment to the shaking Haradros.  "Mallecium will be by in two
weeks to pick up the goods."

Haradros nodded.  "Yes.  Yes, not a problem."

Nodding and smacking Haradros roughly, the large warrior stomped out of
the shop, the little piece of parchment still clutched in the
shop-keeper's hand.

After a moment's wait, Xena sighed, stepping out from behind the armoury
racks and glowering at Haradros.

"I suppose you don't want me to fill the order?"

"Actually, I do," said Xena, approaching Haradros with cat-like grace.
"Mallecium's not stupid, and I know he listens to the rumours of my
movements.  If I stop you, then he'll will know I'm definitely in the
area, and that can't happen, can it?"

Haradros squirmed until Xena leant on the counter, and then he nodded.

"No, no, of course it can't."

"Because should he find out about me, I'll know it's you.  Then you'll
be getting another visit from me and Gabrielle here, and it won't be as
nice as this one."

"R-r-right," nodded Haradros.

"Gimme a look at that list," said Xena.   She reached her hand out and
received it from Haradros.  Her blue eyes skimmed over it quickly, and
she growled.  "Not good.  Here." She gave it back.

Xena looked to Gabrielle and Joxer huddled behind the shelf of gourds
and tipped her head.

"Let's go."

~~*~~

They made a beeline for the nearest inn in the town after their
adventure in the armoury.  They'd been to so many inns and taverns that
they'd lost count, and this one was much like every one of them.  There
was a roast over the fire, clay bowls for the dripping in a pile next to
the fire-place, and it was two dinars for cheese, bread and a piece of
the roast.  The ale was good, though, and Gabrielle could see the relish
on Joxer's face as he took a long draw from the foamy head that topped
his tankard.

"Good beer?" she asked him.

Joxer nodded and gave and enthusiastic thumbs up.  "I'm definitely
putting this place in my mental list of 'Total dumps that surprise you."

Gabrielle chuckled.

Joxer smiled only a moment, his expression fading to thoughtfulness.
"So... before, in the armoury..."  He twisted his lips, then licked them
nervously.  "You weren't hiding from me... were you?"

An uncomfortable smile flittered across Gabrielle's face, and she looked
down to her fingers which were suddenly fiddling with themselves.
"Uhm... no, of course not."

The discomfort seemed to spread to Joxer, and he squirmed a little,
nervously.  "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Cause, I mean, I don't ever want to be a pain," he said, lifting his
hands up to her.

As he said that, Gabrielle could see the insecurity in Joxer's eyes, and
any selfish annoyance she might have felt before melted away.  She was
vividly reminded in that moment why they liked to have him around.

"Joxer," she said, "We were in the middle of a mission..."

"I know," he nodded.  "I was just makin' sure."

Gabrielle reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

Xena sat down at the table, a plate of food in one hand and a tankard of
ale in the other.  Glancing at the table-top, her blue eyes fell on
Gabrielle's hand wrapped around Joxer's, and she ticked a brow in vague
interest.  Blushing, Gabrielle stuffed her hands into her lap.

"How's the beer?" asked Xena.

"Good," said Joxer, smiling at Gabrielle in amusement. "It's good."

Gabrielle grit her teeth at him, repeating to herself that she indeed
liked to have him around.

"So what in Hades' name are you doing here, anyway?  I thought you were
off to Athens to visit your folks," said Xena.

"I was," said Joxer. "But I heard about all the towns that had been
sacked in this part of Greece, and I thought, well - hey!  This place
needs a hero."

"And you came because..." Gabrielle looked wry.  Xena rolled her eyes,
taking a swig of her ale.

"I guess you figured you'd run into us," she said, moving the
conversation away from taunting Joxer.  Joxer nodded in reply.

The food on Xena's plate smelt wonderful, and although she'd had a small
bowl of soup already, Gabrielle felt her stomach rumbling again.  She
stood, pointing at Xena's plate.

"I'm gonna go get some roast beef."

Xena shrugged as the bard went off after some food.  She noticed Joxer
watching Gabrielle go and she shook her head.  "So... were you really
out for adventure, or were you looking for us?"

"Looking for you," said Joxer, seemingly sagging with embarrassment.
"Listen, Xena.  I'm gonna be honest with you for a minute.  I know I'm
not the best warrior out there-"

"No!"  She feigned shock.

Joxer tipped his head at Xena's sarcastic tone.  "Xena..."

"Sorry.  Keep going."

"Anyway... I *am* going to see my folks soon.  Mom's expecting me.  But
ya see, I got this problem."

"Oh?  What's that?"

"Well, I put the word out that I'm this great warrior.  Not only that,
but I kinda told Mom in a letter how I was travelling with you and could
really kick ass n' stuff."

Looking over the slice of beef in her hands at Joxer, Xena seemed to
consider the situation, chewing thoughtfully.

"Joxer, you do travel with us.  Until I have this Mallecium guy licked,
I'm stayin' right here.  I'm not going to cross half of Greece to
impress your-"

"No, Xena, no," he said, waving his hands.  "No, I ..."  He blushed,
looking to the bottom of his tankard.  "...I was just wonderin' if
you'd... you know... damn..."  He looked away.  "I was wondering if you
could teach me some moves to show my Mom."

Xena's brows disappeared up into her fringe, and she dropped her hunk of
roast beek back onto her plate.  "Joxer..."

"Before you say no, just know... I won't act like a jerk, I promise.
I'll listen to everything you say."

"Joxer," Xena said with a sigh, "I'm not teaching you how to wave a
sword about for the purpose of pleasing your mother."

Visibly deflating, Joxer pouted into his lap.  "Oh. Okay."

"I will, however, teach you some basics so you can take care of
yourself.  One of these days you might get into some trouble and
Gabrielle and I won't be there in time to save your ass."

A smile spread across Joxer's face, and he gripped Xena's arm.  "Oh,
Xena!  You won't be sorry, really-"

She patted his hand.  "Just promise me you'll take this seriously.  I
don't want you ever showing off with what I show you.  You learn cause
you want to look after yourself, and other people.  Deal?"

"Deal," nodded Joxer eagerly.  "Thanks, Xena.  I'll try to be the best
student I can."

"Yeah, well..."  Xena smirked.  "It's about time you let me teach you a
thing or two."

Gabrielle soon returned with a plate of beef and fresh-baked bread
dipped in dripping.  She looked between Xena and Joxer as she sat down,
curiosity piqued at their expressions.

"So," she said, sitting down and eyeing her meal.  "What'd I miss?"

"Nothin'," Joxer said quickly, looking shy.

Xena lifted a brow at him, then looked to Gabrielle. "Joxer's joining us
for this one."

Gabrielle's mouth popped open.  "What?  Xena, are you nuts?"

Frowning, Joxer squirmed uncomfortably in his seat and looked away, a
sulky pout forming on his lips.

"This is far too dangerous," she said.  "We're going up against a
warlord and his entire army!"

"What, and going up against Gods and psychotic killers is a piece of
cake?" asked Xena, looking a little confused.  "He'll cope.  He has
before and he can again."  Gabrielle threw her piece of beef down
angrily in response.  "Listen.  He's been through a few scrapes with us,
and it's a certainty that he'll face more.  For the next few days while
we try to find Mallecium, I'm gonna teach him a few moves so he can look
after himself."

"You're doing what?" Gabrielle asked huskily.  Xena never taught anyone
a few anythings.  She was effectively going to take Joxer under her
wing, leaving Gabrielle utterly wingless.   Her stomach churned as if
she'd fallen from a great height.

Of a sudden, Joxer stood, clanking noisily, looking entirely
humiliated.  "Yeah, I know, me learn anything.  Ha ha!  Well I'm sick of
being the idiot that always gets himself into trouble.  All I did was
ask help from the one person I trust not to laugh in my face.  I'm sorry
if I'm ruining your plans.  Maybe I'll just move on... go to Athens like
I said I was."  With that he turned and stomped from the inn.

Turning her head back to Gabrielle, Xena lifted a brow.

"Xena, don't look at me like that..."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the biggest bitch since Medusa crawled out of her cave."

Xena rolled her eyes.  "Gabrielle, I know you worry about him but don't
you think its time you let him take some real responsibility for himself?"

"What are you saying?" gasped Gabrielle, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, as it is, he needs us," said Xena in a silky yet innocent tone.
"Once I teach him a thing or two, he might just be okay on his own."

"That is NOT it, that's not it at all!"

"I'm only telling you what I see," shrugged Xena.

She huffed, feeling her cheeks burning.  She didn't know HOW Xena could
suggest such a thing as her enjoying the fact that Joxer needed them.

"Well what about me?" she asked him.  "Is that it?  You've taught me all
you need to?  There's no more stave work I need to learn?  No more-"

Xena took her hand.  "You know you're more than capable of taking care
of yourself.  I think you're ready to accept the fact that you're my
partner, rather than... well..."

"Your sidekick?" supplied Gabrielle with a lifted brow.

"Yeah," smirked Xena.  "That's one word you could use."

Gabrielle smiled, pride suddenly surging in and replacing the jealousy
and anger that had taken her only a moment ago.  Xena saw her as an
equal... she doubted there was anything that could kill her good mood.
She looked across the table to Joxer, and remembered the wounded look on
his face as he strode out of the inn.  She sighed, cradling her face in
her hands.

"I better find Joxer... make sure he's okay."

"You do that.  I'm finishing my dinner."

~~*~~

Guilt played in her stomach as she stood in the doorway of the Inn.
Gabrielle didn't often apologise to Joxer.  Well, to be honest, she
didn't really apologise to anyone but Xena, and even then it was a rare
case because Xena was more likely to apologise to Gabrielle than vice
versa.  She had to wonder what on earth she was going to say to him.

That's if she could find him.

She peered out into the silky darkness of the night, remembering the
layout of the town from that afternoon, trying to make a guess of where
Joxer might go. She nearly jumped out of her skin when his voice came
from the veranda she stood on.

"If you've come to convince me to leave town, don't worry.  I'm going
tomorrow."

Turning, she approached him, clasping her hands together nervously.
"Actually, I came to say sorry."

In the dim golden light form the torch by the door, she could just make
out his brows lifting in surprise.  She sank down next to him on the old
worn bench by the door, sighing deeply.

"I worry about you in these sorts of situations.  I don't know if you
realise that."

"Heh."  Joxer shrugged a shoulder.  "I always assumed you kinda... think
I get in the way."

She had another wash of guilt as she realised that she never said a
thing to him to suggest otherwise.

"No," she said, shaking her head.  "When we first met I... I didn't
really know what to make of you.  Things changed, though.  I guess I was
scared of that.  Maybe I didn't want you changing too much either."

"Well don't worry," he said darkly, gazing into the darkness beyond the
Inn.  "I doubt there's anything Xena could teach me that would change me
from being an idiot."

"Joxer, don't talk like that," said Gabrielle, putting her hand on his
shoulder. "Do you really think Xena and I would have you around if you
weren't special?"

He looked to her, and his dark eyes gleamed in the torchlight.  In
moments like this, he lacked all the goofiness that made him safe, kept
him in the role of the fool.  They were no longer the eyes of a
frightened boy, but those of a man that knew exactly what he was feeling
and wasn't afraid of it in the slightest.  A shudder ran through
Gabrielle's body, and a little voice in her mind remarked that
sometimes, Joxer looked downright handsome.

"I'm special?" he asked with a sceptical smile.

She nodded.  "Of course."

"How?"

Damn it, he had to ask.  Gabrielle licked her lips, her heart thumping
hard for a reason she didn't entirely understand.

"W-well, you care about people... at least, enough to risk your life for
them.  You stand up to those that do wrong, even if you know they're
stronger than you... and... uhm..." It was so hard to look into his
eyes.  It made her lose track of what she was thinking.  The silly,
silly man.  "You've been there for me and Xena.  You make us laugh..."
She drifted off, not quite sure of what she was saying.  "You make me
laugh."

His eyes twinkled.  "At me or with me?"

Gabrielle broke into a chuckle, her hand finding his and squeezing it.
"With you, of course."

Joxer nodded with a broad smile.

"I'm sorry I made you think I didn't believe in your potential," she
said.  "Or that I didn't want you around."

"It's okay," he said.  "It was really hard asking Xena for help.  You
know... I'm always making out like I'm the hero-"

"Really?"

Her sarcasm made him tip his head and he nodded dryly back at her.
"Yeah, yeah.  Anyway.  I was probably a bit sensitive about it all."

"Doesn't help that I was acting like a complete bacchae."

Joxer pursed his lips and looked mischievous.  "I'm gonna refrain from
commenting, there, since we just managed to renew the status quo."

"Very funny," she smirked.

"Well, I gotta make you laugh somehow."

She narrowed her eyes playfully.  "I don't think I was giving you
permission to be a smart-ass."

Joxer grinned.

Light suddenly spilled out onto them, and a tall figure darkened the
doorway of the Inn.  Gabrielle pulled her hands from Joxer, shifting
away from him a touch.

"Oh.  There you guys are."  Xena looked back and forth between them.
"So... you sorted things out?"

"Yeah," said Gabrielle.

"Absolutely," nodded Joxer.

"Well.  That makes for a nice change, doesn't it?"  She smirked.  "I
just got us a room.  We'll be in number four." With that Xena turned and
disappeared back inside the Inn.

Gabrielle sighed. "I swear she has untold joy from getting the last word."

"You know it," agreed Joxer.

~~*~~

*What Is A Hero?*
by Nancy Lorenz./*

Chapter Three.*/


The sun had crept lower in the sky, and it set the land in a beautiful
golden glow. Shards of the sweet yellow light reached through the
ever-moving canopy of leaves above them, tickling them in bright fingers
of warmth. The lake glimmered, and the only sounds that could be heard
was the odd nicker and snort of contentment from Argo, frogs and birds
living in the reeds, and the voices of Joxer and Xena as they practice
sparred in the soft dirt on the huge lake shore. She showed him the
basic moves she promised to. He finally got the roll she tried to teach
him, and now she was teaching him defensive thinking and moving. These
were things that came natural to some, but most had to be trained into
it. Xena had been concerned that it would take a long time for her to
teach Joxer such a thing, but he picked up on the theory of it fairly
quickly. Coordination was another matter entirely though. One could be
taught why such a thing is done, and how it is done fairly easily, but
the physical ability, that was something that tended to completely skip
some people. Unfortunately, Joxer was one of them. They’d go through a
drill, Joxer would fumble and Xena would make a strike. Quizzing him
afterwards was always frustrating for both of them, because he knew what
he should have done, he just didn’t have the natural flow and grace that
Xena had.

"I'll get it, though," he said, determinedly. "I will."

"I know you will," she said, patting him on the shoulder fondly. "It
just takes a little extra work for some people, that's all."

Joxer nodded, a sullen but firm look on his face. Glancing up into the
sky, Xena sheathed her sword.

"Well... it'll get dark in a couple of hours. We should probably try to
get dinner together and get some rest." Looking down, she met Joxer's
eyes with hers and smiled. "You did good today."

There was a shade of scepticism in his eyes, and no wonder. When did
anyone ever tell him that he'd done well? After a moment of meeting
Xena's unguarded, warm gaze, he smiled a little, putting his sword away too.

"Cool."

With a final slap to his shoulder, she walked over to Gabrielle. The
little bard was engrossed with her scroll again, oblivious to all that
was going on around her, her quill quivering as it sped across the thin
beaten leather. Xena tilted her head, smiling affectionately at her
companion.

"Our last adventure was *that* good, huh?"

Gabrielle glanced up, the quill frozen. She looked quickly to Joxer,
then grew red in the face. "Uhm, yeah, something like that." She blew on
the wet ink, keeping it faced towards herself, then smiled at them as
she put the scroll away. "You're done?"

"Yeah, I was saying to Joxer we should--" Xena stopped, her eyes
glinting as she looked suddenly alert.

"What is it?" asked Gabrielle.

Both Joxer and Gabrielle looked about the camp, wondering what could
have caught Xena's attention, since the both of them heard nothing. She
turned and strode towards the beaten path through the forest that lead
to their clearing, pulling her sword out of its scabbard. Gabrielle was
quick to her side, grabbing her staff and having it at the ready. Joxer
also followed her, pulling out his own blade.

It didn't take long for the source of Xena's alarm to make itself known.
A young fellow, barely eighteen, came scrabbling through the hole in the
wall of forest beyond, mousy hair wild, hazel eyes gleaming with terror.
His tan skin glistened from sweat and dust caked to his feet and knees.

"Oh, thank the Gods!" he bleated, and ran straight over to Xena,
hunching over and clasping her arm. "Are you the Warrior Princess?"

She nodded. "What's wrong?"

"There's a madman attacking our village!" he cried. "He's destroying
everything we own! He set fire to the town hall with bolts of fire from
his hands!"

Gabrielle looked to Xena, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Do you think..."

"What did this guy look like?" Xena asked the frightened young man.

"Long dark curly hair, muscles. Black leather!" He shook. "He must be a
God, but why would he attack our village? We're peaceful, we're all
farmers!"

Xena scowled in the direction of the pathway beyond, shaking her head
slowly. "I have a fair idea. Where do you live?"

"Minoeta," the boy said.

"Has he hurt anybody?"

The boy shook his head. "No. No one."

Glancing over her shoulder, Xena exchanged a look with Gabrielle and
Joxer. Gabrielle gave her a lifted brow of surprise before Xena looked
back at the young man.

"I'm coming," she said to him. She turned and walked towards Argo.

"Oh, oh thank you!" cried the young man, and without further ado, he
turned and ran from the clearing.

"Alone," she added, looking to Joxer and Gabrielle. The former was
putting on his armour and the latter was stuffing her things into a bag.

"No way, Xena," Gabrielle said, getting to her feet and stomping over to
Xena. "This is Ares we're talking about here. We're not leaving you
alone to-"

"I'm safer alone," said Xena. "This is obviously about me. He hasn't
killed anyone, he just wants my attention."

"Why can't he just write you a letter like a normal person?" muttered
Gabrielle sullenly.

"I don't know!" gasped Xena, shrugging. "Just stay here and keep out of
trouble, will you?"

"What if he hurts you?" persisted Gabrielle. "Or tries to kill you?"

"He didn't before when he saw me," said Xena. "I doubt he will now. Call
it a gut feeling." Pulling Argo forward by the reins, she jumped up onto
the horse swiftly. "Stay here, I mean it. If you come after me, I'm
sending you away again."

A frustrated sigh came from Gabrielle, and she threw up a hand and
stamped the butt of her staff into the sand. She barely had time to open
her mouth before Xena had urged Argo into a gallop and sped from the
clearing, disappearing into the forest beyond. After a moment of
incensed silence, she turned to Joxer, who was busy pulling off the few
pieces of armour he managed to get on.

"Did she just leave us behind to go take on Ares? Please don't tell me
she just left us here."

Joxer shrugged. "Okay, I won't."

With a blink, Gabrielle put her hands on her hips, grinding her teeth.
"Joxer!"

He looked up. "What?!" She widened her eyes at him, and he shrugged
again. "Hey, I'm just telling you what you want to hear, don't get mad
at me."

"You're perfectly happy to let her go off and get mixed up with Ares?"

Joxer's patience seemed to finally wear thin, and he scrunched his nose.

"Look, Xena's a big girl, she can take care of herself. If she says she
can deal with this on her own, then I trust her!"

"Well I *don't*!"

"Ya don't say!" Joxer shook his head, sitting down with their things.
"You're always chasing after her--"

"The number of times I've saved her life through-"

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded. "No one was hurt in that village, Gabby. Did it
ever occur to you that this situation has nothing to do with a fight?"

This silenced Gabrielle. She stared at Joxer a long moment, gripping her
staff. A puzzled smile came to her lips. "Joxer, what are you trying to s--"

"Look, I'm a guy. I can spot a botched attempt to ask a girl out from a
mile away."

She laughed. "Ares? Engaging Xena in something other than a fight?"

"Hey, I'm just telling it how I see it, ya know?"

Gabrielle laughed harder, throwing her head back. "Like Xena would ever
give him the time of day! They're enemies!"

"Not so much lately, think about it," he said. "You know, with the
scroll incident? He was all friendly with us then-"

"He was mortal. He'll do anything not to get his ass kicked when he's
mortal."

Joxer's brows lifted. "Yeah but he's been pretty scarce lately. He
hasn't caused any real trouble since before you and Xena had your big
fight and had that vision-y thing."

"Illusia," Gabrielle said.

"Right!"

This wasn't comforting her in the slightest. "Listen, Joxer. I know
Xena. She wouldn't ever take Ares seriously if he - you know... it just
wouldn't happen."

"Sure, but it doesn't stop Ares from trying, does it?" Joxer gave her a
pointed look before digging around in the bag with all the cooking
implements. "So what do you wanna eat for dinner?"

Gabrielle looked away, towards the little path in the forest, a tight
sigh leaving her.

~~*~~

Under normal circumstances, it would have been a beautiful little
village. It had a lovely agora for all community meetings, a long
thoroughfare lined with all the essentials of a village; a butcher, an
inn with a tavern, a couple of supplies shops for things people needed
like weaving loom parts, pots, leather tools and the like. There were
also a couple of town houses for the people living in the village and
not on the farms, who ran the community centre. On a normal day children
played in the street, goats gambolled about as they were herded about by
teenaged shepherds who were bored with the farms and felt like a long
walk, chickens would pluck at the ground and walk about contentedly.

Not so on this day. Feathers were everywhere. Pots were smashed, doors
off hinges, baskets thrown awry, their contents dashed on the ground.
Fire roared through the thatched roofs of some of the simpler buildings,
and anything that could be thrown about in a fit of rage, had been.
Clothes, food, cutlery, metal objects, all were scattered and stepped
upon, torn or bent to sundry. In the distance was the frightened scream
of a villager. Other than this reminder of the native population, the
village was empty and eerily quiet, except for the odd maddened roar of
its attacker.

She found him at the agora, pushing at a column. He was covered in dirt
and dust, obviously not caring to keep himself immaculate through Godly
powers. She walked to him slowly, not taking out her sword this time,
merely putting her hands on her hips.

"Having fun?"

He looked up from his task, grunting. "Wait a minute."

With a final grit of his teeth, he pushed at the column, and it gave
way, tilting over and smacking into the one next to it. Much to Ares'
satisfaction, it smashed the next one, and it too tilted and smacked the
next one after that. This domino effect went on for about six columns,
until one column got stuck. Dust fell from the ceiling and Xena stepped
back, eyeing the stability of the structure. Ares gnashed his teeth,
tilting his head and eyeing the column. Dust continued to drift down,
and Ares brought up his hands in fists.

"Come oooon...."

The column relented, crashing against the other and continuing the
cascade until the whole acropolis collapsed with a great boom and crash.

He pointed at the ruins. "Now I'm having fun. That was cool."

Xena cocked a brow. "Isn't destroying innocent villages a little beneath
a God of your age?"

Ares shook his head. "Not when I'm this mad." Without another word, he
stormed past her, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Ares... what's wrong with you?"

He waved a hand into the air. "What in Tartarus do you care?"

She felt a surge of anger at his petulance. "Well, for a starters, I
don't like seeing people's homes destroyed just because you've had a bad
day."

He whirled about, putting his hands on his narrow leather-clad hips. "Is
that what's bothering you, Xena? Is that it? Well--" He nearly swore.
Instead he lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. In the blink of an eye
the village was restored. "Here you go! That better?" He walked about
her, storming on.

She frowned and strode after him. "Not really." She was surprised at
that answer, and didn't really like it. Ares musn't have either, because
he stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.

"You really wanna know what's up? Hmm?"

Xena met his angry glare, steeling herself. She always needed to keep
strong when she was around him. She gave him a steady nod.

"You're taking over my head. You're like a disease!" He shook his head.
"Before you, all I ever needed to amuse myself was to make two big beefy
armies beat the shit out of each other. I could bed any woman going and
I'd be perfectly HAPPY. Not since you, no!" He shook his head. "Of
course I try to keep doing my thing, except I run into you in the course
of my existence and it ruins it! Ruins EVERYTHING!"

It was incredibly difficult for her to keep the cool disregard on her
face. Confusion stormed through her in waves, confusion and indignation.
The latter won, and she cocked a lip.

"Ares, I don't know what you're up to, but pretending to be soft on me
isn't-"

His eyes widened, and he tipped his head back, laughing in a way that
frightened her. It was just a little mad.

"Oh man, I wish it was pretending." He pinched the bridge of his nose,
taking a violent, long breath in. It was a caricature of a calming,
cleansing deep breath. He looked about, a little manic, and grit his
teeth. "It's not you, it's not you," he added in a tone that was almost
apologetic. "Not entirely."

"What is it?" asked Xena.

He looked at her, regarding her with a tense, thoughtful wince. "Are you
sure you want to know?"

She didn't know why she did it, but she nodded. In the next moment she
wasn't standing in the thoroughfare of a little village.

She was in the middle of a lair very familiar to her. Luxurious
blood-red satin drapes hung from dark stone walls. On plinths, here and
there, were red-figure vases illustrating tales of Ares' adventures of
long ago, in an age Golden. By a wall was a table heavy with food,
mortal by the looks of things for it lacked the dazzling perfection of
godly food. Against another was a prickly array of different kinds of
weapons; daggers, swords, spears, maces, clubs, spikes, battle-axes
displayed neatly in an ebony rack. Near the food were two divans and
between them was a little table, with an amphora of wine and two goblets
set upon it. Taking stock of her surroundings, Xena felt strangely safe.

"Make yourself comfortable," Ares said, and she noticed that he wasn't
dirty and tousled anymore. He was immaculate. He could see her distrust,
and he sighed. "You're safe, all right? Sit."

With a little shrug to herself, Xena walked over to a divan, sinking
down onto it, eyes on him.

He walked to the food, filling a shallow bowl with cherries, large
grapes and some ripe nectarines. Turning, he placed it before Xena, then
collapsed onto the divan across from hers, looking up at the ceiling. He
wasn't pretending to be suave, controlled or fierce. There was stress on
his handsome features, and genuine hurt. Even in this state, though, he
didn't look anything less than perfect. His body curved in a way that
would make a sculptor weep. It was difficult for Xena not to appreciate
what she saw.

"You wanna tell me what this is all about?" she asked him.

With a quick sigh, he sat up. "I was cool, I was totally cool, until
that bitch mentioned Dad."

"What bitch mentioned Zeus?"

Ares looked down to the food and wine and pushed it towards Xena. "Artemis."

"You're gonna have to go back a bit," said Xena, stroking her forehead
tiredly. "Why did she mention your Dad?"

His jaw bulged as he clenched his teeth together. He seemed to struggle
with himself, stroking his hands against themselves, clenching them
against each other, his nostrils flaring. Closing his eyes, he muttered
very quickly.

"She was mocking me."

Xena recognised the difficulty Ares must have had in admitting anything
of the kind. "About?"

He opened his eyes and stared dead at her.

"...Oh."

"Yeah," he nodded. "She said I wasn't doing my job."

"Well that's not true," muttered Xena, taking a goblet and looking
inside of it idly. "You've been a total pain in the butt lately - people
won't stop beating the crap out of each other."

Ares straightened, pursing his lips tightly. "Do you mean that?"

Cocking a lip and widening her eyes, Xena shrugged. "Of course I do.
What, you think I'd blow smoke up your ass just to make you feel better?"

He nodded, looking gratified despite himself. After a moment he went on.
"She was trying to get me to..." He opened his mouth, closed his eyes,
wrestled with a breath. Xena lifted a brow at this and he looked
incredibly embarrassed. "... ask you to dinner. She wanted me to push
things with you and I."

"There is no 'you and I', Ares."

He just frowned at her.

"Why did she do this? Supposedly because you're not doing your job as a
War God?" Xena looked incredulous.

"Right," Ares nodded. "I guess she does sort of have a point."

Xena felt herself quickly getting out of her depth. This was a side of
the Gods she rarely saw. She never saw Ares concerned about his mantle,
or his place in the cosmos. This was a good thing, it made it easy to
hate him. Without that part of him, he wasn't necessary, he wasn't vital
or important. He was just an annoying, violent jerk who she had to deal
with every now and again. She shrugged.

"What do you mean? We fight all the time."

Ares laughed. It was the sort of laugh one gave a little child who
completely mispronounced a word, speaking it with sincerity and pride.
Xena didn't like that one bit.

"Oh Xena..." He shook his head. A sigh took him, and it left her
uncomfortable because he looked thoughtful, and wasn't used to seeing
that. "I've lost my focus. Artemis got to me, but it wouldn't have been
an issue if it wasn't true. I'm not sure what she's up to but she's...
she's made a good point."

"She wants you to make more war, by the sounds of things," said Xena
quietly.

"That's not all I do, you know," he said, looking to her with a
sidewards glance. "And I don't know if that's what she wants me to do."

Xena had never seen Ares so troubled, and she didn't know quite how to
handle it. Crazy as it was, she would have found a sign of cocky
arrogance a relief right at that moment.

Ares sighed. "Are you going to have some wine or not?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know what's in it."

He looked to her deadpan, a playfulness in his expression. "Fermented
grape juice."

She began to look suspicious but Ares sighed.

"Xena, you really think I'd poison or drug you? You know that's not my
style." He got up and sat next to her, pouring her a wine and handing
the goblet to her. "Drink."

She felt a little stupid for a moment, but then reminded herself that
with Ares, she should be surprised about nothing. The repeating of her
mantra 'Never trust him' was always in the back of her mind. Thanking
him, she took the goblet, trying to ignore his proximity. The wine was
good. Really, really good. She relaxed into the divan, making an effort
to ignore her leg pressing against his. It made her skin burn.

"You know... you're pretty relaxed for a mortal who's just been told
that they've gained the deepest affections of a God..."

The burning slipped into her bones, and she looked away, talking
suddenly difficult. "That's because I don't believe you."

"Oh, I don't trash towns in frustration for just anyone, Xena..."

"A normal person would buy me flowers," she said dryly, avoiding his eyes.

"Somehow I don't think that'd help the situation."

"No, but it'd be a nice surprise." She couldn't help but glance to him,
eyes glittering playfully.

What was she doing? Was it the slow smoulder in his voice, or the way he
looked at her, as if he'd unveiled something behind his eyes? He gave a
sigh, tilting his head at her.

"What could I possibly do to convince you?"

She wasn't sure if he was being rhetorical or not. Her body melted to
the divan and she pursed her lips.

"You could give me a break for once... if it's not some warlord, there's
some king hankering for a war..." She drifted off as she saw Ares' eyes
twinkle. "What?"

Snapping his fingers, he pointed at her. "You're brilliant. That's it."

"Huh?"

"I'll have some time off."

"Time off?" Her nose wrinkled as she looked incredulous. "What's that
supposed to mean?"

"I'll step out of my mantle," he said, getting to his feet and rolling
his shoulders confidently. "It'll be a break for both of us. Me, a
mortal human, kicking back... You can spend the day with me."

"Hah... are you crazy?!" hissed Xena, jumping to her feet and stepping
to him. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you were mortal?"

"Now, that wasn't planned," he said, wagging a finger. "And it was weeks
on end. No... a day or so won't be a problem."

"But anything could happen to you! What if you're killed?!"

"Hades will have my back," he said with a touch of arrogance. "Without
me, his days would be incredibly dull."

She curled a lip in disgust for a moment, but the gravity of the
situation came back to her. This was complete and total madness. What
was he thinking? Could she even tell? Perhaps it was a trick, some way
to get her to slip into his charms? She edged close to him, narrowing
her eyes.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Ares, but I'm not fallin'
for it."

Impatience seemed to crack Ares' composure, as he waved an arm and growled.

"Damn it to Tartarus, Xena, will you just shut up and accept the
freakin' gesture?!"

What could she say? She blinked, mouth working silently for a moment.
Somehow she'd not noticed how close she was standing to him, but now,
now she was most certainly aware. She could smell that exotic, musky
scent that only the Gods exuded, and his energy came off him in heady waves.

"But you hated being mortal," she said. "I remember distinctly that you
couldn't stand it..."

"Sure, but wouldn't it be worth it?" He tipped his head. "I know what
I'm getting myself into here, Xena. I'm choosing it for you."

At that moment, her lungs couldn't draw breath, all she could do was
fight to keep hold of her self control. Logical thoughts, Xena... keep
your head... How was it he knew what to say to her?

She narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore the lack of distance between
them. "Are you sure you should do something like this while Artemis is
on your tail?"

"Ahhh, she wouldn't do anything heavy. Ruin a couple of my temples,
maybe." He tipped his head with a shrug of a shoulder. "We Gods have
rules about that sort of thing. Besides, I'm putting my Godhood
somewhere new this time." Winking at her, he withdrew his sword.

"All right," she said. "I'll agree to this on one condition..."

He lifted a brow in askance.

"You apologise to Gabrielle... get her a present or something."

He snorted. "For what?"

She pressed her mouth into a thin line. "You were making fun of her poem
about Joxer."
Ares frowned. "How did you know it was about-"

She eyed him dangerously. "Ares..."

Rolling his eyes, Ares nodded. "All right, all right." Pointing to her,
he waved a hand. In her arms appeared a lute, a plugged amphora and a
little parcel of something wrapped in silk. She bent under the sudden
weight, juggling till she had them all.

Without another word, he walked over to a large altar on the other side
of the room. It was bedecked with skulls, black and red candles, and a
large relief plaque on the wall of black and silver, a giant replica of
the amulet that he wore about his neck. Stretching out his hand, a satin
pillow appeared below it on the altar.

"That'll do," he said.

She followed him, holding tight the things in her arms. Her stomach
jumped inside her as he brought forward the blade. He couldn't be doing
it, he really couldn't.

"Are you sure about this?" she murmured, stepping forward.

"Trust me," he replied, a reassuring curl to his lips.

~~*~~

The sparkling temperate day had mellowed into a gilded afternoon.
Everything the late sun shone upon looked as if it were coated in gold,
and the lake glittered, whispering sweetly as it lapped against the
shore. Despite all the beauty about them, the pair at the camp were
tense. Gabrielle had the bag of cooking things and was digging through
it, a little wrinkle of annoyance in her brow. Joxer was beyond the
pelts and the little fire they had going, muttering to himself and
lifting his arms up, one after the other, practicing his defensive moves.

"Joxer," said Gabrielle. "Have you seen the cooking knife? I swear it
was in here..." He didn't hear her. He was ducking against an invisible
opponent. "Joxer!"

The lanky man blinked, and lowering his arms, he looked at her.

"Oh, uhm... no. Sorry."

"If it's in one of the saddle bags, I'll kill Xena." She sighed, folding
her arms. Xena had been gone far too long. Hours now. If Ares had done
anything to her, anything at all...

"So what are we going to be eating?" asked Joxer, trudging over to the
camp and sitting on the pelt next to Gabrielle. "Rabbit? Deer, if we can
find one?"

"Fish," said Gabrielle, as if it should be obvious. "I can't put it off
any longer. I was hoping Xena would be back and we could do it together."

"Well, I have a hook and line in my things," said Joxer, scratching his
neck.

"I've got a better way," said Gabrielle, and standing, she pulled at the
laces of her little green top. "You better go looking for some more
kindling and branches."

His eyes went wide as he realised what kind of fishing she meant. A
blush in his cheeks, he shot to his feet, pointing a thumb over his
shoulder, towards the woods.

"Yeah, I'm going to go - do that."

Without another word, he hurried into the woods, doing his best to think
about anything other than Gabrielle stripping down to her birthday suit
and leaping into the cold lake. It was a very difficult task. He
wondered if it should have been a task of Hercules. Beating up on a
scary boar or cleaning out a stable... sure, it'd be hard work. Not
thinking of the diminutive strawberry-blonde bard peeling off her
already tiny outfit and then getting all wet and goose-pimply?
Impossible. There would be pretty little drops of water on that lightly
tanned skin... She would be like a mermaid.

"Damn it," he mumbled to himself, bending and grabbing some wood. "Think
of something *else*!"

He heard a splash from beyond, and his heart beat faster. Torture.
Sweet, delicious torture. Pressing his lips together, he strode on
noisily into the wood, grabbing sticks and branches as he went. Anything
not to think about Gabrielle like that. He didn't want to be walking
back in an embarrassing condition. He muttered as he went, anything to
keep his mind empty.

"Alpha, beta, gamma, delta..."

Somehow his mind drifted back to the talk they had in Halyphos, outside
the tavern. He'd think of it now and again, hold onto it just like he
held on to every other moment where she wasn't hitting him or talking to
him like he was thick. Yes, she cared about him. Somewhere, under the
bad temper and impatient glances laid sympathy and affection. It wasn't
much, and he knew it wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than
nothing. He'd be happy with all she could give.

"Joxer, you're pathetic," he sighed, "A complete loser."

Yet... there was something her eyes as they had joked about after that
serious moment. The way he so easily brought a smile to her face (which
made his heart soar higher than Daedalus ever could), the way they were
so relaxed with each other, but amongst the familiarity was a spark of
something, a tender, unexplored place that made him dizzy to think of.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been wandering around, grabbing sticks and
branches. It wasn't until the sky grew darker and the pile of wood in
his arms past his chin that he realised he might have been gone a while.
He turned, stretching his neck to see over the armful of kindling, and
stomped back towards camp.

~~*~~

Wrapped up tightly in a woolly blanket, Gabrielle hid from the slight
chill that was creeping into the air. Now and then she'd swear under her
breath. She asked him to go for a little walk, to give her time to get
into the water, grab the fish, and get out. He'd been gone nearly an
hour and a half. The silly, ridiculous man. With a sigh, she gazed at
the tree canopies that reached above her from the wood, at the pretty
pink shade the sky was turning.

Why was she so rough on him? She asked herself that sometimes. Usually
she'd dismiss the question to make herself feel better. He was a
hopeless dork, he asked for it. That excuse always made everything okay
but today it wasn't working. Every time she settled on that answer, a
flicker of memory would play in her mind. His eyes, dark, warm, brown,
looking right into her and making her feel naked, even though it was he
who was bearing his soul to her in that gaze.

"I'm going nuts," she muttered, scratching behind her ear.

A crash of footsteps came from the woods, and grabbing her staff, she
jumped to her feet.

"Who goes?"

"Me! It's just me!"

Out of the brush and bushes staggered Joxer, his quarry of firewood past
his face. It was a miracle he didn't trip and fall over.

"Joxer!" she gasped, trying not to laugh. "...Why?!"

He dropped the wood by the tree they were sleeping under with a clatter,
and Gabrielle saw his cheeks were red. "Uhh... you know. Didn't want to
walk back, see you all nude."

"Okay..." She tilted her head, then chuckled, shaking it. "That's very
thoughtful of you."

Kneeling by the wood, she began to pick out some good, dry pieces. Joxer
sat on his pelt next to hers, leaning over and looking at the fish she
had laid out in front of the fire.

"Wow... you did good."

"That lake is jumping," she said. "You just got to know where to look."

"I guess Xena taught you that?" he asked.

"Sure, she's taught me a lot of things."

He nodded, then looked back to the fire. It was strange, watching him by
the fire as she stoked it. There was something about him today that left
her feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps it was that out of his armour, she
was noticing that he wasn't that unattractive. As he rubbed his hands
before the fire, and held them out, she saw the ripple of biceps, and a
blush came to her cheeks. The air was thick, hot. Perhaps she put too
much wood on the fire?

This was stupid! Ridiculous! Grabbing the fish, she laid them out on a
flattened bunch of olive leaves.

"I need to scale and gut these suckers..." She went to the cooking bag
and dug about inside. "Damn it! The knife..."

He hadn't heard her. He was still rubbing his hands idly, looking up
into the sky.

"Joxer, have you got a dagger?"

"Uhh, no," Joxer said. "I lost mine throwing it at someone."

"Great," she said, rolling her eyes. This was normal, this was good. He
was annoying her. "Give me your sword."

A little incredulous frown flickered on his face, and the corner of his
mouth lifted. "No."

With a blink, she looked to him. "Did you say no?"

"I said no," he said, nodding, half-smiling. "It's been in the family
for years... I don't want fish guts stuck to it."

"I'll clean it!" said Gabrielle, turning and walking over to him. "I
need to prepare the fish!"

"I'm sure we've got something else," he said, looking over to their
bags. "Like a fork or a spike or something..." He got up, trudging over
to their things. Kneeling in front of them, he dug about. "The knife has
to be here somewhere..."

"Co-o-ome on Joxer," she said, toeing her way over to him, smiling with
as much charm as she could muster. "Let me use your sword."

He laughed. "No! No way... you'll ruin the finish."

She shot a sigh of frustration through her nostrils, looking over to
where his sword was. Taking a breath, she made a decision. In a moment
she dashed to his armour and sword, grabbing the weapon in its precious
scabbard and running to the other side of the camp.

"Gab!" he yelped, jumping to his feet.

"Unless you like your fish scaly and gutty, this is the only choice!"
she cried, eyes gleaming.

He came after her, and she ducked the other way around the fire.

"That's it!" he growled, playfully. "Gimme it!"

"No!"

Darting to the right, the bard ran towards the fish. He shot forward,
and by some miracle, he actually caught her. They tumbled, legs akimbo,
and he managed to get his fingers around the scabbard. She wriggled on
top of him, pulling at the scabbard doggedly.

"Joxer!"

"Not--happen--ing!"

"Grrr!"

Glancing from their tangled hands, Joxer looked to her face. There was a
handsome blush in her cheeks, her eyes locked on the sword. Her damp
hair brushed his face, and he could make out the smell of sandalwood.
His heart thumped heavily in his chest... she was so close, she felt so
very good on top of him. He felt limp and inflamed all at once, and
panic gripped him at what this meant.

"Erm... take it."

"What?"

"Take it!" he said again, almost bleating. "Here!" He shoved it in her
hands, but she didn't move.

Her green eyes searched his, a little bemused dent in her brow. They
travelled down, and a blush darkened her cheeks. She gave a little smile
and pushed herself up off of him.

"Thanks, Joxer."

He shook his head, rolling away. "It's okay."

A very long dip in the lake was well in order.

~~*~~

Author's Note: OK!  My second every Joxer/Gabrielle story!  Hopefully you like it!  Be gentle!

_________________________________________________________________

This is strange. Writing down these words on this piece of …parchment. I'm so use to typing on my computer that the sensation of writing with my hands once more seems to leave me in an odd place……but not as odd as the one I find myself in now.

My name is Elaine, I am a scientist - a quantum physicist to be more precise. A prodigy really. I was born in the year 1988. At the age of 8 I was in college, quickly excelling and learning into the scientist I am today.

As I look and stare across the fire I have to keep shaking my head and look up again to see if I am imagining things…..but I am not.

I have traveled to another dimension, not a parallel universe – no. Something that is quite odder and even more disturbing than science fiction.

Being twenty six years old and able to say that you've accomplished something incredible and terrifying is a rare occurrence. But today I can tell you that I have done just that.

A break through…that's what I called it. The ability to travel through time and dimension. We had successfully transported a cat through time. He had aged by one year but was only gone for seven minutes.

It was the discovery of a lifetime. It was what now placed me in the position I am now in.

Sitting across from me at this very moment is none other than the fictional character of Xena…warrior princess herself!

Impossible…heh……apparently not. My only thought on how this is possible is through theories. The idea of multiple dimensions and parallel universes have always existed but…but nothing of this nature.

I had never thought of the possibility of a fictional reality to be real. I mean…Xena was a T.V. show, the events of historical history horribly time lined and has no historical proof of a woman like Xena to have ever existed…the very fact that I am here documenting this occasion is just absurd.

Yet as I glance up once more with my head down, I see those piercing blue eyes staring at me. Somehow I'm not frightened of her. As a matter of fact I think she's frightened of me. On the rock sitting next to Xena is Gabrielle.

Gabrielle is staring daggers at me. I know why though, but still I'm trying to distance myself from the idea that I've entered a T.V. show.

Yet I know why those angry green eyes of hers are staring at me.

Joxer taps my shoulder and I smile. He hands me this weird looking bowl and I smell it and my brows furrow.

I look up and stare into big soft brown eyes.

"What is it?"

I can tell from the way his eyebrows nit together and the total look of confusion on his face that the words mean nothing to him.

He looks over at Xena and Gabrielle, and I can tell that they have absolutely no clue as to what I've said.

I smirk, and then tap Joxer's shoulder. He turns and looks back at me. I point to the meat in the stew and make a motion with my hand.

He stares and a second later his eyes glimmer with realization. Quickly he turns and grabs something and I have to try hard not to vomit as I see the carcass of a dead rabbit. To say the least I am not a `hunting' type of girl.

I guess I made a funny face because I suddenly hear a chuckle come from the warrior princess herself. Gabrielle just looks at me for just a second……her expression not changing and then looks back down to her sais that she had been cleaning.

Joxer laughs too…a really goofy laugh...it makes me give him a huge radiant smile that I feel come from deep inside of me.

I don't know if we stared at each other for a little to long or what…all I know is that Joxer is suddenly blushing and turning away from me. I watch him walk over towards the fire where Amarice is suddenly staring at me in annoyance.

I turn my head and suddenly find my smile fading as I see one angry blonde starring daggers at me. I suddenly feel frightened that the woman in front of me is going to kill me…but…I know what happened in the show. I know that Gabrielle only loved Joxer as a friend. I know that Joxer wasted his life loving her while he could have found someone that loved him back the way that a person was supposed to be loved.

I look over at Joxer again as Amarice elbows him to watch where he sits. His eyes are glued to me and I smile back at him. His eyes light up and I can't help the way my smile widens.

I'm suddenly glad that I'm stuck here. Because for the life of me I have never felt the way I do when he looks at me.

Again I look over and find Gabrielle's eyes on me, see how the green eyes have become a deep green…almost as if the anger inside her has increased.

I'm confused. I know she gets jealous of other people with Joxer. I remember seeing that. What I don't understand is why she feels that way when I know she becomes Xena's lover.

I glance back down to my `scroll' and continue to write.

I know she's jealous, and I know she only loves Joxer as a friend…but still I feel as though Joxer's attention to me – and my reciprocation of them – has made her hostile towards me. But in all honesty I don't care!

Today when they found me in the middle of the road, with my strange clothes on – a t-shirt and jeans with sneakers- and nothing close to winter clothes that they all had on, the women had been several feet away as Joxer had come up to me and began talking to me.

I smile at the memory.

I understood immediately that he was speaking an ancient Greek dialect. I didn't understand a word he had said. The confusion on my face must have been apparent because the worried look on his own face let me know that it was apparent to him that something was wrong.

He had looked at Xena, who had climbed down from her horse and approached me I continually blinked, trying to believe my eyes.

Xena had knealt down and inspected my head, trying to see if I had a bump on my head. I said her name out loud and she stopped and smirked.

Then I turned and said Joxer's name, then Gabrielle, and then Amarice. All of them looked at me strangely after that…except Joxer. Joxer was the one who convinced the others to bring me along.

I was too shocked to even approach them as they talked among themselves. Joxer's arms moving wildly as he talked to the three woman – two of which were giving me looks that screamed they thought I was a spy or something – and one (Xena) that just stared at me while the other three `talked'.

When Xena spoke she was looking directly at me, even though I know she was talking to the others. I don't know what she said, but Gabrielle and Amarice finally consented to something.

Then Joxer twirled around as best he could in his armor and smiled at me. I couldn't have helped myself even if I had wanted to – I smiled back with a huge smile.

That was when I first realized all that was happening. Where I was, what was going on, and what part of the `story' I now found myself in.

Xena actually smirked at me, as she approached me again. I could see she was thinking something when she finally placed a hand on her chest and said `Xena'. I nodded my head, understanding who she was completely – but then she turned her hand out to me, almost like she was offering me something. I understood and smiled.

Holding my hand up to my own chest I said "Elaine". Then my eyes twitched over to Joxer's who still had this huge smile on his face. And then he said my name almost quietly – and I swear I felt like kissing him then and there, in front of Xena and all. But of course I didn't. When I turned back to Xena she had this weird look on her face, but she wasn't looking at me…she was looking at Joxer.

Xena then spoke to Joxer, but he continued to look at me, nodding his head as Xena spoke. The next thing I know is that Joxer's smile drops and instantly I miss it. His face contorts into the first look of anger that I have seen on his face.

Turning he quickly says something that as he finishes makes him purse his lips and look up in fear at Xena. Xena of course looks like she's ready to murder him...but I quickly step in.

"Joxer?"

Joxer and Xena turn and look at me with furrowed brows.

I really for the life of me don't know how to say 'the mighty' in ancient Greek - so I do the only thing I could do...I start to hum his song.

It's at this point that Joxer's scared face turns into one of complete joy and jubilation, even as Xena's turns into one of horror and shock.

After that things eased considerably between them. It was actually pretty awesome to see the way that he seemed to shine from the idea that I had heard of him because of his song. There's something about him that makes you feel like you could joke and laugh with him for the rest of your life. It's a nice feeling.

Looking up from my journal I see Joxer over my right shoulder, he has the most adorable look on his face as I figure he has been trying to read what I've been writing down. Of course everything I've been writing is in english, so of course he looks completely confused. I laugh because I really can't hold it in.

Joxer finally notices that I look at him, and quickly starts sputtering something as I just nod my head and smirk slightly. He looks embarassed, and I can't help but feel bad for him. My peace offering is to scoot over and pat the stump next to me.

Joxer looks taken back for a second, before slowly sitting down next to me. I put my hand on his knee and say 'it's ok', as if he could understand me.

I never notice the way Gabrielle stares at my hand on Joxer's knee, or the way her hands tighten on her sai. Instead all of my focus is on Joxer, and who could blame me. He's sweet.

I scoot closer to him and place my journal between both of us. Motioning with my other hand I begin to make gestures and small words to accompany them - trying to communicate as best I can. We're both trying so hard to communicate that we both jump when Gabrielle throws a bedroll at our feet.

Both of us look up in shock and that's when Gabrielle takes the opportunity to talk to Joxer. I don't understand what she says...but from the look on Joxer's face I can tell it was something that wounded him inside. Of course he tries to puff himself up and talk back to her, but she just rolls her eyes and walks toward her supplies, talking to him as she walks away.

And the change is almost instant. He completely deflates, but I won't let her ruin what was slowly becoming a way for me to communicate. I had moved my hand when Gabrielle had thrown the bedroll, but again I place it on his knee. Again I gain his attention.

The look on his face is so defeated that it causes me to do something very petty and oh so devious. I wait until Gabrielle turns to look at Joxer, maybe trying to say something more on the discussion...I plan the moment just right.

As Gabrielle turns I lean over and kiss the corner of Joxer's mouth.

His eyes go wide like saucers and I'm sure Gabrielle's went just as wide.

"Kiss." I say, then repeat the act again, "Kiss!"

I don't have to look at Gabrielle to know that anger flashed across her face.

Joxer slowly connects the dots...and finally it hits him.

He says a word, that I'm certain means kiss. I repeat the word and of course kiss him again.

Joxer smiles and nods enthusiastically, completely forgetting about Gabrielle as we again try to communicate...this time with much more success.

I learn many words, mostly body parts, but still it's something.

And who knows...tomorrow I might learn more important words. Words like...'You have the most incredible eyes Joxer'.

Hey guys! I'm trying to find a story called The Plan.  I remember it use to be
at the Bookcase but now the site is gone!  Can anyone tell me where I can find
the story or could they send me a copy of the story if they happen to have it?

Thanks!

Hi!

First off, sorry for the delay in getting your messages posted.  Since we used
to get a lot of spam emails with people signing bots up to post links to adult
websites, I set the list so that any new members were automatically moderated. 
However I couldn't get it set to tell me when there was a message that needed to
be approved. :P

So sometimes I'll be really good about checking regularly and sometimes I'll
slip, and it's inevitably when I slip that posts show up... yeesh. :P  I've
unmoderated you now, so you're free to post whatever, whenever you wish!

Welcome to the list, it's great to have new fic coming out, and also to make up
for the long time before your messages got through here is the answer to your
request!

"The Plan" by Jenn Brouillard can be found in the JFFG archives here:

http://www.snarkykitty.com/jffg/jenn/plan1.html

That's the link to part 1.  It's also followed by two further stories, both of
which are, IMO, excellent.  Enjoy! :D

Rebecca

--- In jffg@yahoogroups.com, "magicatlantian" <magicatlantian@...> wrote:
>
> Hey guys! I'm trying to find a story called The Plan.  I remember it use to be
at the Bookcase but now the site is gone!  Can anyone tell me where I can find
the story or could they send me a copy of the story if they happen to have it?
>
> Thanks!
>

Oooh, I really like this! This is quite an original story idea as well! Hope to
read more soon!

Does anyone know if Xebbie ever finished her story All-Time High?  If she did I
have no clue where to find and would really like to know where it is.  If she
didn't....YO!  XEBBIE!!  PUT A PEDAL TO THE MEDAL!!  I've waiting for that story
forEVA!!!

Sorry...totally had a Crustasia moment!

Well...if anyone knows anything about the story please let me know!

*cracks up*  I can answer that because I am Otherwise Known As Xebbie. ;)

I am sort of "on hiatus" from writing Xena - well, at the moment I'm on hiatus
from writing ANYTHING because the muse has left me, but I know it'll come back -
and although that story is mostly finished, it needs some tweaking.  But I don't
know precisely when it will get done. :(  It's been like what... ten years? not
that that means I *won't* finish it - heck, part of me still really wants to
continue the series - but only that I don't know just where it sits.  I'm having
my second baby in about a month or so, so - things are a little up in the air at
the moment. ^_^

Thanks for asking this!  It honestly made my day! :D  If you want the version
that I posted on my (now-defunct, I think) mailing list several years ago, I
*may* be able to find that sometime this week.  No promises though - I am a
complete scatterbrain right now.  But let me know if you do, and I will try to
look for it!

Thanks,
R.

--- On Sat, 6/20/09, magicatlantian <magicatlantian@...> wrote:

> From: magicatlantian <magicatlantian@...>
> Subject: [jffg] Question!!
> To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Saturday, June 20, 2009, 7:37 PM
> Does anyone know if Xebbie ever
> finished her story All-Time High?  If she did I have no
> clue where to find and would really like to know where it
> is.  If she didn't....YO!  XEBBIE!!  PUT A
> PEDAL TO THE MEDAL!!  I've waiting for that story
> forEVA!!!
>
> Sorry...totally had a Crustasia moment!
>
> Well...if anyone knows anything about the story please let
> me know!
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>     mailto:jffg-fullfeatured@yahoogroups.com
>
>
>

Most Definitely!  Send that story my way!  And I know exactly how it is!  I'm
working on a Xena story myself but also have 7 different stories I'm working
on...all from different TV shows!!

And I own a business...so to say the least I know exactly how you feel.  Life
definitely gets in the way of what we want to do.

And congratulations on the baby!  When are you due?

And don't worry about not having your muse right now...it comes back when you
least expect it to.  Just let me know when it happens...because I'd really love
to do a Round Robin with you one day...I really like the way you write.

Sincerely,

Amanda

--- In jffg@yahoogroups.com, Rebecca Kelly <esbeckras@...> wrote:
>
>
> *cracks up*  I can answer that because I am Otherwise Known As Xebbie. ;)
>
> I am sort of "on hiatus" from writing Xena - well, at the moment I'm on hiatus
from writing ANYTHING because the muse has left me, but I know it'll come back -
and although that story is mostly finished, it needs some tweaking.  But I don't
know precisely when it will get done. :(  It's been like what... ten years? not
that that means I *won't* finish it - heck, part of me still really wants to
continue the series - but only that I don't know just where it sits.  I'm having
my second baby in about a month or so, so - things are a little up in the air at
the moment. ^_^
>
> Thanks for asking this!  It honestly made my day! :D  If you want the version
that I posted on my (now-defunct, I think) mailing list several years ago, I
*may* be able to find that sometime this week.  No promises though - I am a
complete scatterbrain right now.  But let me know if you do, and I will try to
look for it!
>
> Thanks,
> R.
>
> --- On Sat, 6/20/09, magicatlantian <magicatlantian@...> wrote:
>
> > From: magicatlantian <magicatlantian@...>
> > Subject: [jffg] Question!!
> > To: jffg@yahoogroups.com
> > Date: Saturday, June 20, 2009, 7:37 PM
> > Does anyone know if Xebbie ever
> > finished her story All-Time High?  If she did I have no
> > clue where to find and would really like to know where it
> > is.  If she didn't....YO!  XEBBIE!!  PUT A
> > PEDAL TO THE MEDAL!!  I've waiting for that story
> > forEVA!!!
> >
> > Sorry...totally had a Crustasia moment!
> >
> > Well...if anyone knows anything about the story please let
> > me know!
> >
> >
> >
> > ------------------------------------
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >     mailto:jffg-fullfeatured@yahoogroups.com
> >
> >
> >
>

I stand here next to Joxer, knowing what's coming. Gabrielle is obsessing over her horse, totally oblivious to everything else.

I plan on taking full advantage of that. Amarice was already having her tiff with Armand. I try to stay away from Amarice. In reality she's extremely hostile, especially since I've shown interest in Joxer.

Maybe it's the Amazon in her. Anything male and she freaks.

Joxer is having a hard time with Gabrielle ignoring him. He's been trying to talk with her all day, and I've allowed him to.

Giving him time to see how she treats him without me around has made him search me out.

I've been waiting in the tavern, trying to stay with my back against the wall – try and keep my eyes on the whole place.

Joxer strolls in, having already dropped the apples I'm assuming. He looks depressed – and that makes me frown.

"Joxer!"

He turns my way and smiles. He walks over and sits down next to me. Those eyes! God how is it possible for a man to have such beautiful brown eyes.

I smile at him and take his hand in mine.

"Are you good?" I ask him.

Joxer's face contorts and then smirks and nods.

Then I stare at him with my ` I don't believe you look'.

He blushes, and turns his head away, then begins to talk way too fast for me to understand.

I close my eyes and smile before opening them and quickly `whoa'ing him to make him see that I am not following anything.

Motioning with my hands Joxer finally understands that he is talking waaaay to fast.

Grimacing he begins again, much slower, and with small words.

I'm only able to make out a few words…but I knew before he said anything what he was upset about. And I know if I don't do something soon…Joxer will lose both Gabrielle and Xena. Alone.

He would spend the rest of his years searching for them…only to die because of the child that Xena bares inside her.

By all accounts I'm making a huge mistake in meddling in the first place…but the look in his eyes lets me know what I have to do.

Tell Joxer the truth about Gabrielle.

It's a horrible thing to do to his kind soul but – he deserves better.

"Joxer…" I pause not knowing how to say the words, and suddenly I realize something.

In this dimension…the Greek Gods exist.

Knitting my eyes together I say the name of a Greek goddess…one that I know would help me if she can…especially in this area.

"Aphrodite."

Joxer eyes widen, and suddenly starts shaking his head and waving his arms about. But at the moment I don't care about his fear of Aphrodite. I just hope that she can help me.

"APHRODITE!!" I call out loud, hoping that she would respond. Hoping that I was doing the right thing.

Suddenly there she is…right in front of me.

Looking over at Joxer she then turns to me. Rolling her eyes at me she starts to talk.

I shake my head and quickly open my mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't understand one word your saying!!"

And its almost comical the way her face drains of color as I speak.

"What did you just say?" She says in English.

My eyebrows scrunch together in shock, as do Joxer's. Joxer though pulls out of his chair and stand up to stare at Aphrodite.

Both of us asking the same question, but in a different language.

"You understand me(her)?"

Aphrodite's face is still really pale when she responds to me.

"Yeah! Totally – but…your not suppose to be here." She says almost uncertainly.

"It's a long story." I say honestly.

Before she can speak I quickly ask the favor I need.

"Listen Aphrodite, I need to be able to speak Greek to be able to communicate with Joxer. Could you please cast a spell that lets me speak and understand Greek?"

Aphrodite looks uncertain for a second, but then waves one of her hands and pink hearts float down to nothingness on the ground.

My head tilts to one side as I don't feel any differently.

"Did it work?" I ask…but not in English.

Joxer quickly turns and stares at me.

"I guess so." I say with a small smile.

Aphrodite looks between the both of us, and I swear I think she turned even whiter than before.

"Your not suppose to be here!" She reiterates.

I nod my head. " I know! I'm a scientist from another dimension, one where Xena and this whole dimension is just a tv show."

Aphrodite looks like she's turning into a ghost the more I say, but I'm not about to lie to her. After all, she did risk her loved ones to be able to save Xena and Gabrielle. I know that she's a good person…or being – inside.

"Ok. I…I'm going to see how I can get you back…or…how to fix this." Aphrodite says right before she vanishes.

As she leaves I look over at a very distraught Joxer. I know I need to say something, and fast…before Aphrodite comes back.

I just hope I don't ruin everything with him.

"Joxer I know this is a lot…and I wish I could have done this gradually but…I can't."

The look he gives me is one of complete confusion.

I brace myself, and close my eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

I don't open my eyes. I don't even move. I just stand there waiting for something to happen.

"I ah…I…I don't know what to say."

Opening my eyes slowly I see his shocked face. And I know its too much…too fast but…I suddenly remember a very familiar speech…so I use the words.

"Joxer…I love you." I say with all the confidence in the world.

"I…I love you for the man that you want to be, and I love you for the man you almost are. I love you."

And with that I take in the small distance that's between us, and cover his lips with mine.

I deepen the kiss out of my desperate need to feel him, and Joxer being the person he is – leaves me breathless.

It feels as though I kiss him for an eternity. His arms around me kissing me back out of his own needs – a need to be loved in return, a need to be wanted.

I never expect the tug on my clothes, and the way I am quickly spun and punched by one pissed off Amazon bard.

And it seems as if Joxer and I are both dazed…but just for a few seconds. Just enough time for Joxer to make a decision – one that I never would have guessed him to make.

Joxer rushes over to me and helps me up. He cups my face as I look up into his eyes. His eyes looked so pained in that second. I wish I could take it away. Gentle fingers slowly brush under my nose and I grimace from the pain. Opening my eyes I realize that Joxer's finger is covered in my blood.

Astounding as it may seem, but I see his eyes dull at this revelation. This side of the woman he has been in love with for years – he had never understood what it was until now. His beautiful warrior bard…she had become the thing she hated the most.

Violent.

"Joxer she's up to something!" Gabrielle almost screams, frantic in her reasoning. As if the statement would make him side with her - but it doesn't.

Crazy as I'm acting, I need to say what Joxer needs to hear- what noone had the decency to tell him. Causing him pain is not something I want to do - but I have to.

Eyes turned towards her, I whisper words that I know are going to cause him agony.

"She's not in love with you,"

And there it is.

Those beautiful eyes fill with such hurt that I begin to cry, right along with him.

"and she never will Joxer."

My eyes are on Joxer's, but his eyes are on Gabrielle. Gabrielle who's panting from what I don't know, trembling like a little girl as she stares back at Joxer...not denying any of it. Just staring at him with wide green eyes. Eyes that seem to plead with him. Yet I know my next words will sting more.

"She's in love with Xena."

And it's these words that make his eyes turn to me in shock. Anger in them that I hadn't expected. Joxer lets go of me and steps back, trying to collect himself and seeming to fail.

Now I turn and look at Gabrielle, who looks at me with such hatred that I swear I should be dead where I stand. It's a look I had never seen on her face.

Joxer trys to fight back the tears in his eyes as he stares at me, almost as if he wants me to take back my words - but I won't.

"Joxer..." Gabrielle says and trys to walk over and touch him, but he slithers away from her. Her touch making him jerk in almost disgust.

Gabrielle's face shows such hurt at the action, that for just one second...I think I made a mistake. But then Gabrielle's eyes harden, and then soften.

"Joxer she's lying!!"

At that I laugh, even through my own tears, causing both to look at me.

"I'm not lying...I just know the future."

At this both stare at me oddly, Joxer wanting to believe me and Gabrielle looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I can prove it! I'll..." I struggle for how to convince them without ruining Gabrielle's destiny. As much as I love Joxer, I know that her place is with Xena - and I won't jeopardize that for anything.

So with them looking at me still I manage to say one thing that won't affect anything, because Xena will tell them in a short while.

"If I tell you and it happens...will you believe me Joxer?" I ask with as much hope in my voice as fear.

Looking over at Gabrielle, who gives him a look that says 'no', he turns back and nods his head.

And I see Xena walking over here from the stable. I know that I have no time left. So then and there I blurt the words out.

"Xena's pregnant."

Author's Note: Ok. I want reviews!!

Oh wow, love the new chapter! Can't wait for more!

magicatlantian wrote:
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Author's Note: Ok! I want reviews people! I don't care if there good
> or bad, but....give me SOMETHIN'!!
>
>
Hey dude.

What's your name?  It's great to have someone new around!    Sorry it's
taken me so long to read this.  My folks have been away for three months
and I had to take care of the house while they were gone.  This wouldn't
be so bad but I have a chronic illness (endometriosis) so I had barely
any time for anything other than making food and tending to my pain
problems!

Elaine is really torturing Gabrielle in this fic!   But it's kind of
nice to see Joxer enjoy some positive attention.  There are some grammar
goofs but nothing worse than what I've done in the past.  I take my
writing way seriously though, so I'm just a dork for fic.

I'm enjoying reading new fic, though, so please keep sharing!

Cheers,
Nancy.

Aha!  Amanda!

Nice to meet you, Amanda!   I have some fic I'll be sicking on the list
soon.  It's not Xebbie goodness, but it's a little something.  ;)

Cheers,
Nancy.

Dun dun duuuuuuun!
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Author's Note: Ok. I want reviews!!
>
Heh, you've set up quite the conundrum, dude!  I look forward to seeing
how they work this one out!

Cheers,
Nancy.

*What Is A Hero?
* *©2006.
*By Nancy Lorenz.
*
**Disclaimers:* Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer and Callisto are all characters owned by MCA/Universal studios. All Gods but Aphrodite and Ares written from Greek Myth, with some Xena canon thrown in. No money is being made from this creation.
*Content: *G/J, A/X.
*Chronology:* Before the Sacrifice episodes. Let's pretend, just for this series, that Hope never lived past Maternal Instincts. Nup. The bitch was poisoned, she died. For my sanity, mmkay?
*Author's Notes:* This story would be nothing without the help and advice of Sandy, a darling woman I only really got to know well years AFTER Xena finished, yet she was around at the time. Call it madness - I've been missing out on the friendship of an awesome person! I also thank Findle, for all the times I've pounced upon him online, nattered in his ear about my story and probably bored him utterly shitless. Tina, my little baby sister, too has had me do this to her. So to them - thank you. You've helped me immensely.
*Rating:* Still To Be Rated (Tentative M+15)

I stand here next to Joxer, knowing what's coming. Gabrielle is obsessing over her horse, totally oblivious to everything else.

I plan on taking full advantage of that. Amarice was already having her tiff with Armand. I try to stay away from Amarice. In reality she's extremely hostile, especially since I've shown interest in Joxer.

Maybe it's the Amazon in her. Anything male and she freaks.

Joxer is having a hard time with Gabrielle ignoring him. He's been trying to talk with her all day, and I've allowed him to.

Giving him time to see how she treats him without me around has made him search me out.

I've been waiting in the tavern, trying to stay with my back against the wall � try and keep my eyes on the whole place.

Joxer strolls in, having already dropped the apples I'm assuming. He looks depressed � and that makes me frown.

"Joxer!"

He turns my way and smiles. He walks over and sits down next to me. Those eyes! God how is it possible for a man to have such beautiful brown eyes.

I smile at him and take his hand in mine.

"Are you good?" I ask him.

Joxer's face contorts and then smirks and nods.

Then I stare at him with my ` I don't believe you look'.

He blushes, and turns his head away, then begins to talk way too fast for me to understand.

I close my eyes and smile before opening them and quickly `whoa'ing him to make him see that I am not following anything.

Motioning with my hands Joxer finally understands that he is talking waaaay to fast.

Grimacing he begins again, much slower, and with small words.

I'm only able to make out a few words�but I knew before he said anything what he was upset about. And I know if I don't do something soon�Joxer will lose both Gabrielle and Xena. Alone.

He would spend the rest of his years searching for them�only to die because of the child that Xena bares inside her.

By all accounts I'm making a huge mistake in meddling in the first place�but the look in his eyes lets me know what I have to do.

Tell Joxer the truth about Gabrielle.

It's a horrible thing to do to his kind soul but � he deserves better.

"Joxer�" I pause not knowing how to say the words, and suddenly I realize something.

In this dimension�the Greek Gods exist.

Knitting my eyes together I say the name of a Greek goddess�one that I know would help me if she can�especially in this area.

"Aphrodite."

Joxer eyes widen, and suddenly starts shaking his head and waving his arms about. But at the moment I don't care about his fear of Aphrodite. I just hope that she can help me.

"APHRODITE!!" I call out loud, hoping that she would respond. Hoping that I was doing the right thing.

Suddenly there she is�right in front of me.

Looking over at Joxer she then turns to me. Rolling her eyes at me she starts to talk.

I shake my head and quickly open my mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't understand one word your saying!!"

And its almost comical the way her face drains of color as I speak.

"What did you just say?" She says in English.

My eyebrows scrunch together in shock, as do Joxer's. Joxer though pulls out of his chair and stand up to stare at Aphrodite.

Both of us asking the same question, but in a different language.

"You understand me(her)?"

Aphrodite's face is still really pale when she responds to me.

"Yeah! Totally � but�your not suppose to be here." She says almost uncertainly.

"It's a long story." I say honestly.

Before she can speak I quickly ask the favor I need.

"Listen Aphrodite, I need to be able to speak Greek to be able to communicate with Joxer. Could you please cast a spell that lets me speak and understand Greek?"

Aphrodite looks uncertain for a second, but then waves one of her hands and pink hearts float down to nothingness on the ground.

My head tilts to one side as I don't feel any differently.

"Did it work?" I ask�but not in English.

Joxer quickly turns and stares at me.

"I guess so." I say with a small smile.

Aphrodite looks between the both of us, and I swear I think she turned even whiter than before.

"Your not suppose to be here!" She reiterates.

I nod my head. " I know! I'm a scientist from another dimension, one where Xena and this whole dimension is just a tv show."

Aphrodite looks like she's turning into a ghost the more I say, but I'm not about to lie to her. After all, she did risk her loved ones to be able to save Xena and Gabrielle. I know that she's a good person�or being � inside.

"Ok. I�I'm going to see how I can get you back�or�how to fix this." Aphrodite says right before she vanishes.

As she leaves I look over at a very distraught Joxer. I know I need to say something, and fast�before Aphrodite comes back.

I just hope I don't ruin everything with him.

"Joxer I know this is a lot�and I wish I could have done this gradually but�I can't."

The look he gives me is one of complete confusion.

I brace myself, and close my eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

I don't open my eyes. I don't even move. I just stand there waiting for something to happen.

"I ah�I�I don't know what to say."

Opening my eyes slowly I see his shocked face. And I know its too much�too fast but�I suddenly remember a very familiar speech�so I use the words.

"Joxer�I love you." I say with all the confidence in the world.

"I�I love you for the man that you want to be, and I love you for the man you almost are. I love you."

And with that I take in the small distance that's between us, and cover his lips with mine.

I deepen the kiss out of my desperate need to feel him, and Joxer being the person he is � leaves me breathless.

It feels as though I kiss him for an eternity. His arms around me kissing me back out of his own needs � a need to be loved in return, a need to be wanted.

I never expect the tug on my clothes, and the way I am quickly spun and punched by one pissed off Amazon bard.

And it seems as if Joxer and I are both dazed�but just for a few seconds. Just enough time for Joxer to make a decision � one that I never would have guessed him to make.

Joxer rushes over to me and helps me up. He cups my face as I look up into his eyes. His eyes looked so pained in that second. I wish I could take it away. Gentle fingers slowly brush under my nose and I grimace from the pain. Opening my eyes I realize that Joxer's finger is covered in my blood.

Astounding as it may seem, but I see his eyes dull at this revelation. This side of the woman he has been in love with for years � he had never understood what it was until now. His beautiful warrior bard�she had become the thing she hated the most.

Violent.

"Joxer she's up to something!" Gabrielle almost screams, frantic in her reasoning. As if the statement would make him side with her - but it doesn't.

Crazy as I'm acting, I need to say what Joxer needs to hear- what noone had the decency to tell him. Causing him pain is not something I want to do - but I have to.

Eyes turned towards her, I whisper words that I know are going to cause him agony.

"She's not in love with you,"

And there it is.

Those beautiful eyes fill with such hurt that I begin to cry, right along with him.

"and she never will Joxer."

My eyes are on Joxer's, but his eyes are on Gabrielle. Gabrielle who's panting from what I don't know, trembling like a little girl as she stares back at Joxer...not denying any of it. Just staring at him with wide green eyes. Eyes that seem to plead with him. Yet I know my next words will sting more.

"She's in love with Xena."

And it's these words that make his eyes turn to me in shock. Anger in them that I hadn't expected. Joxer lets go of me and steps back, trying to collect himself and seeming to fail.

Now I turn and look at Gabrielle, who looks at me with such hatred that I swear I should be dead where I stand. It's a look I had never seen on her face.

Joxer trys to fight back the tears in his eyes as he stares at me, almost as if he wants me to take back my words - but I won't.

"Joxer..." Gabrielle says and trys to walk over and touch him, but he slithers away from her. Her touch making him jerk in almost disgust.

Gabrielle's face shows such hurt at the action, that for just one second...I think I made a mistake. But then Gabrielle's eyes harden, and then soften.

"Joxer she's lying!!"

At that I laugh, even through my own tears, causing both to look at me.

"I'm not lying...I just know the future."

At this both stare at me oddly, Joxer wanting to believe me and Gabrielle looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I can prove it! I'll..." I struggle for how to convince them without ruining Gabrielle's destiny. As much as I love Joxer, I know that her place is with Xena - and I won't jeopardize that for anything.

So with them looking at me still I manage to say one thing that won't affect anything, because Xena will tell them in a short while.

"If I tell you and it happens...will you believe me Joxer?" I ask with as much hope in my voice as fear.

Looking over at Gabrielle, who gives him a look that says 'no', he turns back and nods his head.

And I see Xena walking over here from the stable. I know that I have no time left. So then and there I blurt the words out.

"Xena's pregnant."

Author's Note: Ok. I want reviews!!