This was so lovely to read, to hear all of your enthusiasm for Wesley
and his development. I have been trying to find music videos to share
with you which I enjoy that are about the times in Wesley's life that
you mention. (I lost all my data in February so it took a while to
find them again.) I too love S4 and Wesley's role in it. Deep Down
was such a pleasant surprise and I still love that he saved Angel,
although I do find the estrangement between Wesley and Gunn very hard
to watch as I loved their friendship in earlier seasons. (I
like 'Time Bomb' in S5 very much for the sense of them connecting
again and Illyria and Wesley's interaction.)

Do you like music videos? I'm going to take a chance that you do and
put up some links and hope that they are useful to you.

This video is one of my favourite Wesley videos:

"Why I'm Here" by Charmax (Wesley end of S3 to end of S4)

http://bronze-ambition.net/wp/?p=239

I think this is also a wonderful Wesley/Fred/Illyria video:

The Reason (Fred & Wesley and Illyria & Wesley)

http://quortoth.flannigus.net/

In both cases I think all of the videos these people have made are
wonderful. I find them very comforting, too, for some reason.

I find it hard to decide which is my favourite Wesley over the
seasons as I love the Wesley who appears in S1 of Angel, who is so
sweet and loyal and is finally in a family where there is love for
him. I love seeing his confidence develop because there are people
who believe in him and who need him to help them. S2 is very moving,
the way he and Gunn and Cordelia all bond, and I love the Pylea arc
now and how brave Fred is. I love that the first time Gunn and Wesley
see her, she is saving their lives.

I really loved her being crazy and was a bit sorry when she got
saner. 'Fredless' for some reason I can't even explain, has always
been a favourite episode of mine, and the scene in the bus station
where Fred breaks down when talking to her parents always makes me
cry. Also, it has Cordelia and Wesley being Buffy and Angel - a great
scene!

S4 is so painful and yet so beautiful to me. I love that season even
though Wesley is so estranged from the others and I do find
his 'stolen' kiss with Fred very sexy, although I am a big fan of his
relationship with Lilah too. I was so glad he had resolution with
Faith as well and that by the time he got to be her Watcher (and be
very good at his job) it no longer mattered to him whether he was
good at it or not, he was too busy doing the job to think about it. I
do think that, ironically, Wesley became someone in S4 that the
Wesley who first appears in Buffy would have been very much in awe of
and impressed by, but, of course, such experience is so painfully won
that it doesn't mean the same to the person who possesses it as it
does to the onlooker. As an onlooker though I just found damaged,
self-loathing, beautiful, sexy S4 Wesley utterly compelling and I
have never been so haunted by any character.

I love hearing from you and hearing all your thoughts on Wesley and
his development. You are making me want to watch Buffy and Angel all
over again! I do hope you like the music videos.

Best wishes,
Lori



--- In defendersofwesley@yahoogroups.com, "vertsn" <vertsn@...> wrote:
>
> Dear Lori,
> I had hardly expected that my post would receive any reply, so
I
> am much surprised and overwhelmed with happy feeling. Thank you.
>
> I live in Japan, and here we only have Buffy's first and second
> seasons released in DVD, so I thought it ended completely that
way.
> Then sometime this March, I came across someone's talk about other
> seasons and the spin-off program Angel while wandering on the
> internet. I was totally at a loss for a moment then. Soon I went
to
> Amazon.com and found out the DVDs of the entire series and bought
> them at once. At that point, I did not even kmow the existence of
> Wesley. I now know there do exist enthusiastic fans of Buffy/Angel
> series in Japan, very little in number because of the show release
> situation here, compared to the fans in other countries, so there
has
> been almost no clue whatsoever on how the story develops and
evolves,
> so I had been spoiler-free, which was one blessing(?) to live
here.
> (The DVDs are all in English, plus our region code is 2, so we must
> have all-region DVD player and some level of understanding
English.
> Nowadays, lap-top computers have "smarter" DVD slot to prevent us
> from watching DVDs with different region codes. Once you watched
> DVDs with certain region code for a certain times, your DVD slot is
> frozen(?) to the region code and unable to watch others... Old lap-
> top PC were not this way. Big companies' conspiracy!... Any way,
we
> must climb over these hills to watch Buffy/Angel here in Japan.)
>
> I watched Buffy Season 3, and I liked the way Wesley was
> depicted, but just did not find much to care for him. I thought it
> was a pity that Wesley left the show that early as the characther
> could have more to give to the show while it proceeded. But it was
> that much then.
>
> So when I finished watching Buffy and moved on to Angel series,
> it was quite a smiling surprise to find Wesley back in the show. I
> really liked the way he was described in his first re-appearance.
> Still, I believed that the show was "Angel" and that he was given
> just a little part in the show. However, I cannot describe it well
> because I myself don't know how it went this way but, I had put
> Wesley in the center of every event in my mind since then. Mr.
> Denisof does such a magic in playing the character...the eyes, the
> voice, the articulation, the subtle expressions on his face... and
it
> is just so convincing that Wesley seems to me to exist in real
life.
> As you wrote, Wesley changes along the course of the events and it
> was so logical and natural. First he was good-natured, probably
not
> much experienced the ugliness of real life, square, proud to be a
> Watcher, and so on, in Buffy series. The failure as a Watcher
might
> have changed him a little bit, but he seems to be a believer of
some
> untainted goodness in the deep bottom of his heart, in the first
> parts in Angel. Then comes the 3rd season... I felt as if I was
> always standing by his side, encouraging him, consoling him,
telling
> him to do otherwise, just like an unseen ghost. No matter what he
> did, I could agree his decisions most of the time, and felt
happiness
> and pain just along with him.
> I liked him much more in the 4th season. He has become so real
> and ...please forgive me for the lack of my vocaburaly ... with the
> knowledge or realization gained from his experience ... what we
> humans are, what he was, what we could and couldn't..., with the
> shadows he has learned about himself. I am old enough (very old
> enough), biologically, but not mature enough (at all), mentally, so
I
> can not digest the part with him and Lilah well enough, but I do
> understand it in my mind. How he felt towards her changes and how
he
> felt about her at the end is really beautiful and it was just what
I
> thought Wesley would be/do.
> I liked Fred from the beginning of her appearance in the series,
> and I had been wishing her to make Wesley happy every time he
looked
> at her and every time he spoke to her in that different tone of his
> voice. I am truly glad that you mentioned the last scene with
> Illyria is very beautiful and moving. Now I can watch the final
> episode. (Probably I will save it till this weekend, as I don't
think
> I can go to work the next day I watch it.)
>
> There are so many episodes I like. I like "Smile Time" because
> of Wesley and Fred, but "A Hole in the World" is one of the best
for
> me, even though it is painfully heartbreaking. Everything was so
> beautiful and the ending and the music does the very finishing
> touch. ..."Parting Gifts" because of his first cute
> reappearance..."Waiting in the Wing" gives Wesley the heartbreak
but
> still I like him all through in that episode... the first
> episode "Deep Down" of the fourth season is another favorite one
with
> him emerging as someone tough with ability and with goodness,
> loyalty, and love hidden or buried underneath... I like almost all
> episodes... If I were to choose the season that I like best, ...
> Season 4... I am just going on and on my gibberish...
>
> I must have tired you with my nonsense written in poor English,
> but thank you again for giving me your kindest words and letting me
> talk about how strongly I felt about it.
>