Dear Lori,
I had hardly expected that my post would receive any reply, so I
am much surprised and overwhelmed with happy feeling. Thank you.

I live in Japan, and here we only have Buffy's first and second
seasons released in DVD, so I thought it ended completely that way.
Then sometime this March, I came across someone's talk about other
seasons and the spin-off program Angel while wandering on the
internet. I was totally at a loss for a moment then. Soon I went to
Amazon.com and found out the DVDs of the entire series and bought
them at once. At that point, I did not even kmow the existence of
Wesley. I now know there do exist enthusiastic fans of Buffy/Angel
series in Japan, very little in number because of the show release
situation here, compared to the fans in other countries, so there has
been almost no clue whatsoever on how the story develops and evolves,
so I had been spoiler-free, which was one blessing(?) to live here.
(The DVDs are all in English, plus our region code is 2, so we must
have all-region DVD player and some level of understanding English.
Nowadays, lap-top computers have "smarter" DVD slot to prevent us
from watching DVDs with different region codes. Once you watched
DVDs with certain region code for a certain times, your DVD slot is
frozen(?) to the region code and unable to watch others... Old lap-
top PC were not this way. Big companies' conspiracy!... Any way, we
must climb over these hills to watch Buffy/Angel here in Japan.)

I watched Buffy Season 3, and I liked the way Wesley was
depicted, but just did not find much to care for him. I thought it
was a pity that Wesley left the show that early as the characther
could have more to give to the show while it proceeded. But it was
that much then.

So when I finished watching Buffy and moved on to Angel series,
it was quite a smiling surprise to find Wesley back in the show. I
really liked the way he was described in his first re-appearance.
Still, I believed that the show was "Angel" and that he was given
just a little part in the show. However, I cannot describe it well
because I myself don't know how it went this way but, I had put
Wesley in the center of every event in my mind since then. Mr.
Denisof does such a magic in playing the character...the eyes, the
voice, the articulation, the subtle expressions on his face... and it
is just so convincing that Wesley seems to me to exist in real life.
As you wrote, Wesley changes along the course of the events and it
was so logical and natural. First he was good-natured, probably not
much experienced the ugliness of real life, square, proud to be a
Watcher, and so on, in Buffy series. The failure as a Watcher might
have changed him a little bit, but he seems to be a believer of some
untainted goodness in the deep bottom of his heart, in the first
parts in Angel. Then comes the 3rd season... I felt as if I was
always standing by his side, encouraging him, consoling him, telling
him to do otherwise, just like an unseen ghost. No matter what he
did, I could agree his decisions most of the time, and felt happiness
and pain just along with him.
I liked him much more in the 4th season. He has become so real
and ...please forgive me for the lack of my vocaburaly ... with the
knowledge or realization gained from his experience ... what we
humans are, what he was, what we could and couldn't..., with the
shadows he has learned about himself. I am old enough (very old
enough), biologically, but not mature enough (at all), mentally, so I
can not digest the part with him and Lilah well enough, but I do
understand it in my mind. How he felt towards her changes and how he
felt about her at the end is really beautiful and it was just what I
thought Wesley would be/do.
I liked Fred from the beginning of her appearance in the series,
and I had been wishing her to make Wesley happy every time he looked
at her and every time he spoke to her in that different tone of his
voice. I am truly glad that you mentioned the last scene with
Illyria is very beautiful and moving. Now I can watch the final
episode. (Probably I will save it till this weekend, as I don't think
I can go to work the next day I watch it.)

There are so many episodes I like. I like "Smile Time" because
of Wesley and Fred, but "A Hole in the World" is one of the best for
me, even though it is painfully heartbreaking. Everything was so
beautiful and the ending and the music does the very finishing
touch. ..."Parting Gifts" because of his first cute
reappearance..."Waiting in the Wing" gives Wesley the heartbreak but
still I like him all through in that episode... the first
episode "Deep Down" of the fourth season is another favorite one with
him emerging as someone tough with ability and with goodness,
loyalty, and love hidden or buried underneath... I like almost all
episodes... If I were to choose the season that I like best, ...
Season 4... I am just going on and on my gibberish...

I must have tired you with my nonsense written in poor English,
but thank you again for giving me your kindest words and letting me
talk about how strongly I felt about it.