Ausiello: Well, although Fox hasn't confirmed it, I'll go out on a limb and say Jack Bauer isn't returning this season. Even if the strike ends tomorrow, the earliest the show could get back on the air is this summer — and there's no way in hell Fox is dumping 24 onto the summer season. That leaves the network with several options, none of them ideal. One solution is to just kick off Season 7 next January, but by then Jack will have been in hiding for nearly two years. Another, and much more controversial, scenario being bandied about involves taking the eight episodes currently in the can and creating a 10- to 14-episode mini-season to air in the fall. That would be followed by another 10- to 14-episode mini-season — featuring a completely different plot — during the second half of the season. Opponents of that idea have argued, and rightly so, that by splitting the season, you're essentially compromising the show's unique, 24-hour conceit. Proponents, however, argue that these are desperate times. And sometimes desperate times require throwing out the rulebook. I can see that point as well. What do you guys think? Would you rather wait until January and get a traditional uninterrupted 24-episode season? Or would you prefer getting the show back in the fall, even if that meant splitting the season up into two shorter, self-contained chunks? Or do you have another solution? Weigh in with your thoughts in the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread. I have a feeling Fox will be interested in what you have to say.

Ausiello: Easy for you to say. You try finding work as a Smurf archivist.

Ausiello: Nah. But thanks for playing!

Ausiello: Sure can. You've heard of Laverne & Shirley? Get ready for Claire & Kate.

Ausiello: It's possible that Mick will get his first real "taste" of humanity in over 60 years. Also… Beth learns a deathbed secret Josh had been keeping from her — and, how shall I put this, it's a doozy!

Ausiello: I ran that idea by the producer in charge of all things AA and he made a really angry face and pounded his fist into a wall, so methinks we may have to come up with an easier way to mark the occasion. Something that doesn't involve 10 developers and a brand-new template. Here's an idea: What if you guys went onto eBay, purchased a bunch of vintage Smurf loot, and then mailed it to me? How much fun would that be?!

Ausiello: OMG, it's, like, soooooooo good this season, you guys! [Beat] Psych!! Admit it, I had you going there for a sec. But don't be mad, I come bearing scoop. In the Jan. 29 episode, Peyton is forced to come clean about what her life in L.A. is really like when Lucas visits the City of Angels. Later, Lucas and Brooke (yep, you read that right) end up in a hotel room with a ring and champagne. And, presumably, bed sheets you wouldn't want to hold up to a black light.

Ausiello: Nah. But thanks for playing!

Ausiello: That's the million-dollar question, Fran. Luckily, exec producer Carlton Cuse offered to answer it for free. " We can't determine right now how we will manage production or when we will return to the air," he told me. "It completely depends on how long the strike lasts. As soon as the strike is over, we will sit down and figure that all out."

Ausiello: This week's Ausiello Report vodcast has exclusive details about the "lost" episode airing this May. And my guest cohost drops a bombshell about one of this season's final episodes that is sure to have Bones fans cranking up the volume on their computer speakers.

Ausiello: Your bone was delivered via press release a few weeks ago, and it looked a little something like this: Men in Trees will take over Cashmere Mafia's Wednesday at 10 pm/ET time slot beginning Feb. 27. Best-case scenario, ABC keeps the show there until May 7, which is when its current 11-episode surplus will have been depleted. But considering ABC's track record with MIT — 234 time slots in two years! — I'm not holding my breath.

Ausiello: I'm hearing that this season's third episode will shed light on Jake's time in Iraq. And without spilling too much, something from his past has reared its ugly head in his present.

Ausiello: Wilson's got a new girlfriend, and her very familiar face will be revealed at the end of the Feb. 3 Super Bowl episode. It's an awesome twist, and it's one that's best served unspoiled. I mean it. Steer clear of any/all spoilers pertaining to this episode. Ninety percent of the fun is in the surprise.

Ausiello: Shucks, Lisa. The end of your e-mail got cut off. I hate it when that happens.

Ausiello: Actually, I found Lipstick (premiering Feb. 7) to be the superior Sex and the City rip-off, but that's not saying much since I loathed Cashmere. With the exception of Lindsay Price's vapid and utterly annoying fashion designer — a role that should've gone to Melinda Clarke — Lipstick's females are more interesting. Come to think of it, Kim Raver's morally conflicted mag editor has more dimensions than all of Cashmere's Barbie dolls combined. And wait until you lay your peepers on her boy toy, played by Fashion House's Robert Buckley (or as I like to call him, Scott Speedman and Jake Gyllenhaal's love child). This is the kind of guy 30 Rock's Frank would go gay for permanently. Lipstick's by no means perfect, though. First there are the tonal problems. The show has to decide whether it's a Brothers & Sisters-type feel-good drama or a fluffy comedy ΰ la Sex and the City. It clearly aspires to be both, but it's failing miserably. And if the first two episodes are any indication, the undercurrent of female empowerment will be about as subtle as a tsunami. And would someone please explain to me what three of the most successful women in New York are doing buying massage oil off the street? Candace Bushnell should be ashamed.

Ausiello: NBC announced last week that they'll both air on Thursday, Jan. 24, bookending an episode of Celebrity Apprentice. I hear that one fills in Casey's backstory and reveals his connection to a woman who may or may not be a Russian arms dealer. And in the other, Capt. Awesome asks Chuck for his sister's hand. [Beat] In marriage. Sorry for any confusion that caused. (Thoughts on the addition of stage directions in AA? Yes? No? Undecided? Sound off in the AA Discussion Thread.)

Ausiello: Nah. But thanks for playing!

Ausiello: If by "anything" you mean "knockin' boots," the answer, per series creator Eric Kripke, is no. " Sorry, no Dean-Bela hookups. They hate each other too much. If anything, Bela becomes more antagonistic."

Ausiello: Aside from this exclusive clip of Spike frenching Capt. Harkness in the Jan. 26 season premiere? Let's see…. Don't expect the scoobies to get a resolution to the "Where'd Jack disappear to in the finale" right away. I've seen the first two episodes, and they still have no clue where their boss was.

Ausiello: Well, I'll say this about Bradley Cooper in the Jan. 23 episode: He's never been cheekier. Speaking of next Tuesday's ep, someone has an HIV scare, and there's a major shake-up at "Hearts & Scalpels."

Ausiello: So awesome that I haven't missed an episode this season. Granted, only three have aired, but still, I haven't watched three consecutive Law & Orders since the Angie Harmon years. Tonight's episode concerns a murder that may or may not be connected to a pair of stolen pants. Speaking of missing trousers, the inevitable love triangle involving Green (Jesse L. Martin), Lupo (Jeremy Sisto) and Lupo's sister-in-law begins to take shape. 

OK, that's a wrap, folks. Head over to the Ausiello Report Discussion Thread to weigh in on any of the critical, life-and-death issues touched on in this week's column. There's also the vodcast, the podcast (it's a new one!) and, last but not least, the e-mail address that keeps this entire operation afloat: ask_ausiello@.... See you back here next week!