Hi gang! I am fairly new to this group and thought that i would introduce
myself. My name
is Robert Dayton and I live in Vancouver. I am pretty obsessed with Archie and
his friends
so finding this group makes me happy. It has affected me ever since I was a
child and I
often ask people from Winnipeg any facts that they might know about it. The
funny thing
is that I have never even seen the show!
I have paid tribute in my musical act Canned Hamm (www.cannedhamm.com) and wrote
about some of the albums for a Chipmunks-related (ie. anything with sped-up
voices)
issue
of the music mag Roctober (www.roctober.com) out of Chicago. I reprint the
write-up
here below. Since the write-up i have gotten the earlier white cover Funtown
album with
order sheet for a
Petite puppet: did anyone out there ever get the puppet? What other Archie
albums are
there in existence, anyone know? Anyone have spares they would sell? Also, I
really would
love to see the show, I seem to have learned so much about it through the LPs
and
anecdotes of friends but still really need to see it! I will pay postage and
video tape costs,
etc. if anyone has access, thanks muchly!
TTFN,
Robert

FUNTOWN: Favorite 20 Selections LP (K-tel NC 498 1978)

Petite Sings For You-Pet Care Tips (CM-100 distributed by Clay-Mor, a custom
product of
Pickwick Canada)

Archie Wood and his Friends Christmas Album (E-500)

As a kid, I used to stare and stare at the "FUNTOWN" album while listening to
it
repetitively. The circular photos of the puppets would peer out at me- the
ventriloquist
dummies Archie Wood (wood, get it?), Grandpa Wood, and Tammy True, the cute
little dog
puppet Petite, and Marvin Mouse. "Who are they?," I'd wonder. "Do they exist
beyond this
record?" In the early 90's I found out that they did indeedy! I was out drinking
one night
with my friends Julian and Lester and they happened to bring up Funtown. I
flipped! "You
know of Funtown?!?" This caused them to burst out laughing! Julian and Lester
are both
from Winnipeg, Manitoba, home of K-tel and where Funtown ran for 25 years on
Winnipeg
television. This was an institution that was called "Archie Wood and his
Friends" on
weekdays and "Funtown" on Saturdays. It was hosted by "Uncle Bob" Swarts, who
was
known around Funtown as "Mayor Bob." The first time that I heard "Hey Jude" I
thought
that these "Beatles" were ripping off Marvin Mouse's and Tuttle Turtle's "Hey
Tuttle" and I
didn't think that "Hey Jude" was anywheres near as good! Now as an adult, I
realize that
Mayor Bob was just improvising and character acting overtop of a track from
Marty Gold's
"Moog Plays the Beatles" LP. In tribute, my band Canned Hamm took the very same
backing track along with Marvin Mouse and Tuttle Turtle's banter to make "Hey,
Lil'
Hamm." In later years, Mayor Bob had developed an oft rumoured reputation as an
alcoholic and one can sure hear it on this album, he stumbles and slurs over
stock backing
tracks like "Can't Buy Me Love" (where Tammy True tries to woo Mayor Bob by
giving him
ten bucks and singing this song) and "Put A Little Love In your Heart" (where
Grandpa
Wood literally misses a cue to a verse and has to catch up, leading me to
believe that this
whole album was done in one take). But where do the sped up vocals come in? On
Petite,
the cute little female dog's numbers. This cuddly little bitch's vocals aren't
just sped up!
They speed up the whole stock pop song! "Paper Tiger," "Walkin' My Cat Named
Dog," "The
Doggie in the Window," and "Mocking Bird Hill" are all sped up! Possibly even
from 33 1/3
to 45 RPM! How brilliantly shoddy! All on an original K-tel album (the only
other "original"
K-tel album I know of is "Rock Fantasy," an equally amazing album that takes
place in, "the
land where animals are people" that was most likely made with some Jewel Akens
stock
backing tracks of "Vegetable Love Song," "Birds and The Bee," etc. at a K-tel
staff party).
Former Winnipegers tell me that Uncle Bob often used to yell at kids to get off
of his lawn.
And, in fact, my ex-girlfriend Kim's mom went on a date or two with Uncle Bob! I
would
have loved to have seen this show.

Michael Dumontier of The famed Royal Art Lodge out of Winnipeg sent me the
"Petite
Sings…" record. Much earlier Uncle Bob than "Funtown." This cover has a huge
circular
photo of Petite with a much smaller photo underneath of Uncle Bob waving up to
her. The
back cover gives us 8 pet care tips (#7. Never pet a strange pet). Although
Uncle Bob
sounds somewhat more coherent and less slurred than he was later on, this whole
album
is still shoddy. Shoddilly tremendous! Since it's Petite, the whole thing is
just sped up pop
songs like "These Boots Are Made for Walking" and "Snowbird." In between songs
Mayor
Bob and the puppets chat with one another. They give us safety tips. Marvin
Mouse's
safety tip is, "Um, when you're playing outside never, never, never play with
sharp sticks,
you might stick it in your in your eye." Petite's speaking voice is just
falsetto Uncle Bob.
Marvin gets angry because he doesn't get to sing any songs. Eventually, even
though it's
Petite's album, they let him sing. Marvin chooses "Little White Duck" but it's
actually just
the Burl Ives recording. And regular speed at that!

"Archie Woods and Friends Christmas Album" is a very early album! Petite's
songs don't
even speed up, it's just Uncle Bob with a falsetto. The organ music is by "Agnes
Forsythe"
("their" quotation marks, not mine). Marvin Mouse sings "Santa Claus is Coming
to Town."
On the cover Uncle Bob and all the puppets are lined up together beside a
Christmas tree
and in front of a cardboard castle set. You know what I just realized? Archie
Wood,
Grandpa Wood, and Tammy True are never seen together! I think it's the same
puppet!
Tammy is just Archie in black pigtails and buckskin (she's supposed to be
'native') and
Grandpa is just Archie with white hair and a beard. They even have similar
voices! (RD)