AUTHOR: Alessandra “Pamela”

EMAIL: alessandra@...

RATING: NC17 overall

DISTRIBUTION:  My sites… anyone else, just ask.

FEEDBACK:  I would love it if you were so inclined. :)

SPOILERS:  This takes place after “The Gift” except Buffy didn’t die.

SUMMARY:  Buffy and Graham run into each other and find out they get along *really* well.  But will their loyalty to Riley keep them apart?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” characters or situations (I will even give my story ideas to Joss in exchange for a day on the set).  I am borrowing them, without permission, and I mean no harm to them.  They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and Warner Brothers.  I wrote this purely for entertainment and not at all for profit.

NOTE: Thanks much to Kay for the beta read!

***

If anyone noticed that it had taken Buffy over an hour to take Graham home, they didn’t comment.  She came back to Xander’s apartment to find them all gathered around the television watching some movie on HBO.

As everyone watched the movie and munched on popcorn, Buffy reflected on what had occurred at Graham’s.  As usual, it was great.  She may not have been the most experienced girl, but she knew Graham was a great lover… not that she’d had any exceptionally bad ones.  Parker had been the worst and even he could have been better if only he’d been half as considerate as Angel, Riley and Graham.

So maybe she *was* wrong, but she couldn’t imagine it being much better than it was with Graham.  Even if he didn’t love her, he made sure she always had an orgasm, and he seemed to know even better than she how to give her one.  And it was different with Graham than it was with all the other guys.  Her only time with Angel had been filled with relief that they were both still alive and together, and all the anxiety that came with making love for the first time.  With Riley, she had always held back a little bit, scared to get hurt again like she had been with Angel.  And Parker… well, that was a train wreck.  She’d slept with him for all the wrong reasons and had learned to regret it immensely.  And even if Graham gave her no promises of a real, emotional relationship, she trusted him.

But still, it was starting to get to her.  In the past week and a half, she’d had a lot of fun.  Not just with the sex… she saw Graham nearly every day and Dawn was often around, stopping them from even kissing.  He was fun to talk to, or just watch television with.  His presence calmed her, made her feel warm and happy in a way she hadn’t experienced in longer than she could remember.  She’d come to the realization that she didn’t just like him – she loved him.  It was nothing near what she still felt for Angel, but it grew a little more with every passing day.  And as those feelings grew, so did the darkness she felt when she was alone after being with Graham.  While it felt incredible to be with him, to feel him inside her and his lips caressing hers… when it was all over, she felt so cold and alone that she had to wonder if it was worth it.

Now she knew how Riley had felt, to make love to someone, to open yourself up so much and love them, but to know that those feelings would never be returned.  And unlike Riley, it was her own fault because she had gone into this knowing Graham just liked having sex with her.

It made her feel horrible.  She was a fool, a whore, and so undeserving of Riley’s love.  Not only had she held back the love she honestly felt for him when he’d needed it so much, not only had she slept with his best friend over and over and *enjoyed* it… now she was falling in love with him.

Someone knocking loudly at the door interrupted her reverie.  Since everyone else was entranced by the television, Buffy rose and answered it, surprised to find Spike on the other side of the threshold.

“It’s already dark?”

“Hello to you too, Luv.”

“Sorry,” Buffy replied, smiling at him.  After all he had done to help her with Glory, the two of them had managed to forge and maintain a friendship.

“Did I miss anything?” he asked, walking into the apartment.

She shook her head, “Not much except pizza and whatever movie they are watching.  I haven’t really been paying attention.”

“Well, I like pizza,” Spike said, heading for the kitchen.

Buffy chuckled; it never ceased to amaze her how human Spike could be.  She’d never seen a vampire who liked people food so much.  She followed him into the kitchen, deciding Spike’s company was better than sitting back down and thinking about Graham again until she got all depressed.

“So when do the fireworks start?” Spike asked as he put a couple slices of pepperoni pizza on a place and put them in the microwave.

“Nine o’clock,” she answered.  “I never knew you were into stuff like that.”

Spike turned and smirked at her.  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Buffy.  For instance, I happen to have a birthmark on my-“

“I don’t want to know!”

He laughed and pulled the now heated pizza out of the microwave.  “Fine, fine… you’ll change your mind.”

His banter may have been playful, but a part of Spike was very serious.  He loved Buffy just as much, if not more, than when she’d still considered him an enemy, or at least not a friend.  Still, he’d decided that if he were to win her over, it wouldn’t be by following her around and harassing her about it.  He’d be her friend, earn her trust… and hopefully, someday, her love as well.

***

“Sister, content you in my discontent.  Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books and instruments shall be my company.  On them to took and practice by myself.”

“Hark, Tranio! Thou may'st hear Minerva speak. “

Buffy smiled from her position leaning against the door frame leading to the living room where Graham was helping Dawn practice lines from ‘Taming of the Shrew’, which was the play her drama group was going to put on at the end of the summer.

“I hate to interrupt, but it’s eleven o’clock,” she spoke up.

Dawn gasped and jumped up from her seat, “Oh my God, I have to get to bed!  I need a full eight hours of sleep for the audition tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Graham assured her.

“Thank you for helping me!” she said, surprising him by bending down to give him a hug.

“You’re welcome.  Good luck tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Dawn grinned, than rushed to the door of the room, only stopping to kiss Buffy on the cheek before running up the stairs, “Night!”

“Good night,” Buffy called after her, amused.  It was good to see Dawn so excited about something.

Graham leaned back on the couch as she came into the room and sat down beside him.

“Do you really understand Shakespeare?”

He shook his head and grinned, “Not at all.  I was big on cliffs notes when I had to endure lit classes.”

“Gee and here I thought you were this totally sensitive guy,” she joked.

His eyes took on a dark glint as he smiled seductively, “Does that mean you want me out of your house?”

Buffy recognized his hunger and felt an answering cry deep inside herself.  “I don’t know, I think you might be able to redeem yourself.”

“Oh really?” he replied as Buffy moved to straddle him and dipped her head down.  Their lips met, expressing their mutual need for one another.

Things progressed quickly, and they both found themselves incredibly turned on.  Breaking apart to catch their breath, Buffy leaned her forehead against Graham’s and looked him in the eye.

“Do you think Dawn is asleep yet?”

“No,” she half whined, “She too excited to fall asleep right away.”

“So she might catch us down here?”

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed, “But if we go upstairs together, we stand a better chance of her seeing us.”

“She probably won’t come back downstairs… if we’re quiet,” Graham said optimistically.

Even though she knew it wasn’t the best idea, Buffy went with her hormones and nodded before turning off the lamp on the end table, leaving the room bathed with only dim light from another lamp.  As their lips met once again, Graham’s fingers found their way to her head, running through her golden hair as their mouths melded together.

***

Upon reaching her bedroom, Dawn changed into her pajamas and said her prayers – something she only did for special occasions when she needed help from anywhere she could get it.  Climbing into bed, she continued to read from the script, hoping she’d get sleepy soon.  However, after a few minutes she was positively antsy.  There was no way she’d be falling asleep soon!

Remembering how her mother used to sometimes give her warm milk to help her fall asleep, Dawn decided to give it a shot and got back out of bed before creeping down the stairs.  Seeing that there was hardly any light in the living room, she figured Graham must have already left, but then frowned when she heard some strange sounds coming from that direction.  As she went down a few more steps, she realized it was moaning.

Being as silent as possible, remembering not to step on the squeaky third step from the bottom, Dawn sneaked over to the living room doorway.  The sight that greeted her was something she would never have dreamed of seeing in a million years.

Buffy was sitting on Graham’s lap with his hands up her shirt as they kissed.  It wasn’t your normal ‘good friends’ kiss.  Hell, it wasn’t even as tame as the kisses she used to witness between Buffy and Riley.

Coming to her senses enough to realize she didn’t want to be caught, Dawn rushed back up the stairs, her glass of milk forgotten, as she tried to wrap her mind around what she’d just seen.

Back in her room, Dawn got back in bed, still in shock.  She began to second-guess all the times she had seen Buffy and Graham hug each other goodbye or that way they looked at each other and seemed to say so much with just their eyes.  At the time she had figured they were just close friends, and perhaps they had the potential to be a great couple, but now she wondered what had really been going on.

They were obviously… close.  Dawn wasn’t sure if they were going to do it – although she hoped they wouldn’t on her *couch* – but even if they didn’t, she was pretty sure people didn’t make out like that on their first date.  Buffy certainly didn’t; Dawn had eavesdropped on enough conversations between her sister and Willow to be sure of that.

So what was up with them?  Were they dating?  Why had they been acting like they were just friends?

Dawn turned the light off, all thoughts of the play gone from her mind.  She had an entirely new problem to keep her up that night.

***

“So, was Graham here for very long after I went to bed?” Dawn asked, studying her sister very closely.

Buffy shrugged, “For a while.”

“What did you guys do?”

Frowning, the blonde asked, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!  Just making conversation.”

Buffy looked at her suspiciously, but didn’t comment on it any further.  “Are you ready to go?  You have to be there in twenty minutes.  I figured you would be going crazy with fear that you might be late.  What if the car breaks down?”

“Do *not* jinx me!” Dawn shrieked, getting up from the kitchen table and rinsing her plate in the sink.

The slayer smiled and loaded Dawn’s plate and the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher while her sister ran a brush through her hair once more and put on some lipstick.

“How do I look?”

“Remarkably like Bianca Minola!”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Buffy replied, grabbing her keys.

The two sisters headed out to the jeep and Buffy started driving them to UC Sunnydale, where Dawn’s drama classes were held.  While her sister mostly worried about everything she had to do that day… and not focus on that icky way she felt having this immoral sex thing going with Graham, Dawn tried to figure out why Buffy was acting like nothing had happened with Graham.  If she hadn’t caught them, she would have no idea that they’d been making out and more on the couch the night before.  It was all very strange and she didn’t understand.  Still, there was no way she was going to *tell* Buffy what she had witnessed – it would be way too embarrassing.

“Are you nervous about your audition?” Buffy asked.

“A little,” she answered honestly, although she realized this whole thing with Buffy and Graham was a great distraction from worrying too much about getting the part.

“You’re going to be fine, I just know it.  Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and watch?  Mr. Dannen said it was fine.”

“That will make me even more nervous.  You know how that feels.”

“Yeah, I just want you to know you have my support.  And I’m proud of you.”

Dawn couldn’t help but smile at Buffy.  She could be a huge pain in the butt, but she really loved her.

***

Buffy wasn’t sure she could keep this thing with Graham up… but on the other hand, she wasn’t sure that she could stop it.  As pathetic as it was, being in love with a guy who was having a purely sexual relationship with her when she had *agreed* for it to be that way, she needed it.  She needed Graham and the intimacy that she found with him.  Not just the sex – though that was certainly intimate – but also just having someone with her to talk, someone who knew what it was like to lose their mother, it was so…. nice.

Sighing, she shook her head and pulled away from the curb outside Satterfield Hall, the auditorium where Dawn’s class was held.  Her sister had already gone inside, but Buffy had gotten rather lost in her thoughts.  One thing she had learned over the past few weeks was that the days went by much faster when she avoided thinking about Graham until she saw him and all bad thoughts disappeared.

As she pulled out onto the street, Buffy headed towards the grocery store, trying to decide if she should go ahead and get a cake that said congratulations on it.  They were supposed to announce who got what role before the kids went home that day, so Dawn would know by that night.  She figured she should be safe; she may think Dawn was the best actress in the class, but she *was* biased.  Perhaps she would just go to Marie Callendar’s instead and get Dawn’s favorite pie.  Then they could either have a celebratory dessert… or pig out and whine together.

She stopped at a red light and bent over to fiddle with the radio, not seeing the car coming from the cross street to her right, making a left…. badly.  The next thing she knew, it slammed into the front of her jeep.

***

Graham awakened slowly to the shrill sound of the telephone ringing.  Groggily, he picked it up.  “Hello?”

“Graham?  Oh God, I woke you up.  I’m sorry!” Buffy said on the other end.

“It’s okay, Buffy.”

“I wish I didn’t have to call you, but Anya and Xander went on their little vacation so Giles is running the store alone and I can’t find Willow or Tara so I had no choice.”

“Don’t worry about it.  What’s up?”

“Would you mind coming to pick me up from the hospital?” she asked, biting her bottom lip.

Graham sat straight up in bed.  “What happened?”

“I got in a car accident,” Buffy explained.

“Oh God, are you okay?” he asked, climbing out of bed.

“Yeah, I just have a sore ankle and have a few bumps and bruises, but I’ll be fine in a few days,” she explained, “Unfortunately, the accident killed my car and I really can’t drive well anyway, so…”

“I’ll be there right away.”

“Thanks,” Buffy replied, hanging up the phone.

The nurse on the other side of the registration desk smiled at her.  “Did you reach someone?”

“Yeah, one of my friends is coming to pick me up.”

“Good, let’s get you back to the exam room.  Dr. Padget should be able to see your x-ray soon so we can get you on your way,” the nurse replied, walking around the counter and grabbing the handles of the wheelchair they had insisted Buffy sit in.  Not that she’d argued – her ankle really was quite sore.  Luckily, being the slayer, she doubted that she could have hurt it too badly.

As the nurse pushed her back to the exam room, Buffy frowned and squirmed uncomfortably.  No matter how fast Graham got there and she was discharged, it wouldn’t be fast enough.  She’d already had an aversion to hospitals, but after all the time she’d spent there while her mom was sick, she hated being there even more.

***

“Okay, promise not to tell a soul?”

Lisa rolled her eyes, “You can’t tell me you have something important to tell me and then honestly expect me to tell you not to tell me!”

Dawn frowned, confused.  “What?”

“Just tell me why you have been acting weird all morning!”

“Well, first I was worried about the audition but now that it’s over with I started thinking about-”

“Dawn, just get to the point!”

“I was *trying* to!” she said defensively, “Anyway, last night after I went to bed I decided to get some milk and when I came downstairs I saw Buffy and Graham in the living room, kissing.”

Lisa’s eyes widened.  “Kissing?  Kissing how?  Kissing like you’d kiss your brother or kissing like you’d kiss your *lover*?”

“Well, since I don’t have a brother, I can’t be *sure*, but I think if I kissed him like she was kissing Graham, it would be illegal in some states.  Plus, she was sitting on his lap, sorta straddling him, and his hands were up her shirt.”

“Are you for real?” she gasped.

“Yes, but you can’t say anything.  Buffy doesn’t know I know and she would *kill* me for telling you.”

“I won’t,” Lisa assured her, then grinned.  “This is so exciting.  Our matchmaking is working, don’t you see?”

“Maybe, they certainly seemed to like each other last night,” Dawn commented.

“Why aren’t you happier?  I thought you liked Graham.”

“I do, and I like the idea of him dating Buffy.  He’s really cool and she deserves some happiness,” she explained, “It’s just that this morning, he was gone and Buffy acted like nothing had happened.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” Lisa prodded.

“Of course not.  It’s kind of embarrassing.  At least I didn’t walk in on them doing it.  Do you think they did it?”

“Probably.  Did they come upstairs?”

Dawn shook her head and put her face in her hands, “I am never going to look at that chair the same way again.  Forget sitting in it!”

“They probably want to announce their relationship together.  Do you think they just decided to get together last night and then they consummated their love?  That is so romantic!”

“I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about it, trying to look for hints that they had something going.  I mean, Graham would hug her goodbye, but Xander does that sometimes and I *know* they’re just friends.  They’d better be, because if Buffy does it with Xander, Anya will rip all her hair out.”

“Well, they’ll tell you sooner or later.  They are probably so in love that they don’t want anyone to know because they want to keep their precious love to themselves.”

“Lisa, you need to read some ‘Babysitter’s Club’ books or something.”

“Ooh, I bet you’ll get the part of Bianca.  Then you can have Buffy take you out for a celebratory dinner and invite Graham and maybe they’ll decide to tell you.  You’ll be in a good mood so then they will feel safer telling you, because maybe they’re scared you won’t take it well.  Oh, this is so exciting!”

“I’m serious, I’ll lend you some of mine.”

***

Graham walked into the emergency room, absently noting that for a small town their hospital was always busy, and made a beeline for the front desk.

A busy nurse finally gave him her attention, “May I help you?”

“Yes, a friend of mine is a patient.  She called me to come get her.  Buffy Summers.”

“Oh, yes.  Things are taking a bit longer than we originally expected.  I’ll take you to her,” she smiled, walking around the counter and leading him to a makeshift room with curtains for walls.

He felt a mixture of relief and sympathy as he saw Buffy sitting on the edge of the hospital bed looking quite miserable but not very injured.

“Your friend is here,” the nurse announced.  “Dr. Padget still hasn’t talked to you?”

“No,” Buffy told her, giving Graham a small smile.

“X-ray is probably just backed up, I’ll call and check for you,” the nurse replied, leaving the two of them alone.

“I’m sorry, I thought I’d be ready to go by now.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“Except sleeping,” she pointed out.

“Buffy, I doubt I went to bed last night much later than you did and I didn’t get up nearly as early.”

She sighed, “Do you work tonight?”

“Nope, so I can catch up on my sleep later,” Graham told her, “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good, considering the state of my car.  It’s totaled,” she lamented, rubbing her forehead.

“What happened?” he asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

“I was stopped at a light when this guy was coming down the cross street and was busy fumbling with his cell phone while attempting a left.  Unfortunately, he got the wrong side of the road and smacked into the front of my car with his stupid Expedition.”

“God, you’re lucky you escaped with as few injuries as you did.  How’s your ankle, by the way?”

“Throbbing, but I’m sure my great healing will take care of that soon.  Any time now.  Hopefully within a few minutes.” 

“How exactly did it get hurt?”

“When the front of the car got crushed, my foot twisted and got stuck.  The EMT’s had to get it out.”  Buffy sighed, “God, my car, Graham!  I have no car!  Okay, I went for a very long time without a car but now I have all these adult responsibilities like groceries and Dawn and I really need a car.  What am I going to do?”

“Did the guy who hit you have insurance?”

She nodded, “I think so.”

“Well then his insurance company will send you a check and you can use it towards getting a new car.”

“Okay, and in the meantime?”

“You can rent a car.  I think auto insurance sometimes covers that too.”

“You have an answer for everything,” she remarked.

Graham smirked, but before he could respond, a middle-aged man in a white lab coat entered the room.

“Miss Summers, sorry about the wait,” he said, then smiled at Graham.  “Hello.”

“Hi,” he replied, smiling politely.

“This is my friend, Graham.”

“Hello, Graham, I’m Dr. Padget,” the man said as he glanced over Buffy’s chart and made a few notes.  “I looked at the x-rays and it turns out that you sprained your ankle.  Actually, you’re quite lucky that it didn’t break, getting stuck like it did.”

“Yeah, I feel like this is my lucky day,” Buffy replied sarcastically.

The doctor smiled, “I’m going to have someone come in and wrap it for you.  We’re going to give you some crutches, but I want you to stay off your feet for a couple days.  It will probably take a week or so to heal and then you should go see your regular physician.  I’m also going to prescribe some Tylenol with codeine.  I want you to take one before you leave the hospital and then you can take another when the pain gets to be too much as long as it’s been 8 hours.”

“Oh this is great, how can I take care of Dawn if I am doped up and can’t walk?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help.  And everyone else will be glad to pitch in too,” Graham told her.

“Take it easy.  If you push yourself too hard, you’ll only set back your recovery,” the doctor warned her.

Buffy frowned, but decided she should listen to him.  That would be the mature thing to do.  She just hoped Dawn didn’t run wild without constant supervision.  This was turning out to be a really crappy day.

TBC...