AUTHOR: Alessandra “Pamela”

EMAIL: alessandra@...

RATING: NC17 overall

DISTRIBUTION:  My sites… anyone else, just ask.

FEEDBACK:  I would love it if you were so inclined. :)

SPOILERS:  This takes place after “The Gift” except Buffy didn’t die.

SUMMARY:  Buffy and Graham run into each other and find out they get along *really* well.  But will their loyalty to Riley keep them apart?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” characters or situations (I will even give my story ideas to Joss in exchange for a day on the set).  I am borrowing them, without permission, and I mean no harm to them.  They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and Warner Brothers.  I wrote this purely for entertainment and not at all for profit.

NOTE: Thanks much to Kay for the beta read!

***

“You know, this has to be the most nutritious dinner I’ve had in a while,” Graham commented before putting a spoonful of Trix in his mouth.

Buffy laughed, “Yeah, well, like I said, I need to go grocery shopping.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’m doing much worse.  If you opened my refrigerator, you’d probably just find a six-pack of beer and a bottle of ketchup or something,” he replied.  “Starting the nightly patrols again has thrown my sleep schedule completely out of whack and going to the store is not one of my priorities.”

“Oh that’s right, you started doing patrols.  How’s it going?”

“Very very slow… you weren’t kidding when you said it’s pretty dead.  Pardon the pun.”

Buffy smiled, “I know… but it’s nice… for me.  It’s what you get paid for, but I could use a vacation.  Are you guys going out every night?”

“Yeah, for now I do it five nights a week.  I have a few men that were in the Initiative working with me, so there is a veteran out there every night.  Once everyone gets enough experience, we may have fewer patrol shifts.  Or at least, fewer at night.”

“Well, that’s good.  I appreciate the help… you know, as long as you guys aren’t evil now.”

It was Graham’s turn to smile, “I swear we aren’t.  You know, I’m kind of surprised we haven’t run into you.”

“I’ve been taking it easy.  Quick sweeps three of four times a week.  I have to take advantage of the lull… and you guys have my back now,” she teased, then wrinkled her nose.  “Should I be careful to avoid you guys, actually?”

He shook his head, “They know all about you.  Sorry for revealing your identity, but I figured it was best if they knew not to think you’re evil or anything.  Plus, if the Initiative taught me one thing, it’s that you shouldn’t send soldiers out there and just give them scraps of information.  They know about slayers, that we’re on the same side… and someday we may even work together.”

Buffy’s lips curled, revealing she was pleased.  “Cool.”

With more light banter they finished their ‘dinner’ of cereal, mozzarella cheese sticks and tortilla chips, since they had worked up quite an appetite during the day.  Not once had either of them brought up Riley or their vows to never repeat their actions when they’d been drunk and their encounter two days later.  It seemed they had an unspoken understanding that they both wanted to continue with the…. affair.

What neither understood, however, was that they also both liked each other much more than as someone to take care of sexual needs with.  However, Graham figured even if he told Buffy he’d like to date her and she said yes, he would always be a stand in for Riley, and that was something he couldn’t bear.  He felt far too strongly for her to not let it bother him that she was only with him because her first choice couldn’t be.  And Buffy figured if she told Graham she wanted more than just sex, he’d either laugh or bail… probably the latter.  Not that he was a jerk like Parker… that could freak out any guy.

***

“I’ll call you later.  Be careful tonight,” Graham told Buffy as she walked him to the door.

“I’ll be fine, I’m sure,” Buffy smiled.

After only hesitating a second, Graham went with his desires and wrapped his arms around her, dipping his head down to give her a goodbye kiss she wasn’t likely to forget.  Buffy reciprocated, putting her hands on his shoulders as their tongues dueled for domination.

When breathing became an issue, they pulled apart and shared smiles.  Graham opened the front door and with one last look at Buffy, walked out.  She stood and watched from the doorway until his car backed out of the driveway and he was on his way home.

Shutting the door, Buffy sighed and headed up the stairs.  She had two hours to shower and clean up before Dawn came home.

***

“So, how do you know where Graham lives?”

Buffy’s heart skipped a beat as she quickly tried to think of a lie to tell Dawn. 

“He gave me directions on the phone.”

“Oh… you just seemed like you knew just where you were going,” her sister commented.

Buffy didn’t respond, but made a show of looking at all the numbers on the doors until they got to Graham’s.  She knocked loudly, hoping they could get out of the building and on the road without Dawn making any more observations.

In honor of the 4^th of July, Xander and Willow had planned a day at the beach.  Dawn and Buffy had thought it was a great idea so they, along with Anya and Tara were going.  However, there was no convincing Giles, who used the Magic Shop as an excuse not to attend.  Xander had been the one to suggest inviting Graham, since Willow had mentioned that he’d been spending time with Buffy and Xander felt the need to check him out.

“Hello ladies,” Graham greeted, opening his apartment door.

“Hi, you ready to go?” Buffy replied.

He nodded and grabbed a duffel bag before shutting the door, much to Dawn’s dismay.  She’d done her best to peek inside before, since Lisa had told her it was imperative she tell her what it was like, but there hadn’t been time.  Maybe she’d get another chance.

“You know, I haven’t been to the beach in ages,” Graham said as they walked back to the elevator.

“Isn’t Santa Cruz by the beach?” Dawn asked.

Buffy raised her eyebrow, surprised that her sister knew that.  She’d found out that little tidbit of information one night about a week earlier when they were lying in bed after making love and had started talking about their favorite places in the world.  It had been a week and a half since they’d stopped fighting the attraction between them and they’d gotten to know a lot about each other, and not just in a physical and sexual way.

“Yeah, actually, in Santa Cruz there is a boardwalk with rides and shops and it’s right on the beach.  It’s so much fun… you’d love it Dawn.”

Dawn smiled, “We’ll have to go there sometime, Buffy.  Maybe Graham will give us the tour.”

“Absolutely,” Graham agreed, wishing it was that simple.  It would be so nice if he really were Buffy’s boyfriend, if he could hold her hand and kiss her in public… he would love to spend days with Dawn and Buffy, doing normal stuff.  Unfortunately, it was not to be.

***

“So, be honest with me,” Xander said, sitting down in the folding beach chair next to Graham’s, “what are the odds of Riley coming back to Sunnydale?”

Graham shrugged, “I’m not really sure.  He loves Buffy, very much, I’m positive of that.  But… Sunnydale also holds a lot of bad memories for him.  I think he’s a little afraid of what he might do if he comes back here.  He can’t handle losing himself again.”

“I know… and I know he thinks Buffy doesn’t love him, but she does.  I used to not be sure, but I am positive now.  I saw what it did to her when he left.  For weeks afterward, she was an emotional mess.  And I know that she seems fine now, but every so often I see her with a look on her face and I know she is missing him.  She sees the way Anya and I are… even Willow and Tara and I know Buffy is thinking about being with someone she loves.”

More than anything, Graham wished that man she was thinking of was him.  His feelings regarding Riley had gone from guilt to envy.  “Well… maybe he’ll come back and they’ll both get a second chance to do things right.”

“Here’s hoping,” Xander smiled, then explained, “Riley’s a good guy.  In the past I have had… problems… with Buffy’s choice in men, but I came to respect him.  He’s good for her.”

“You had a problem with Angel,” Graham concluded aloud, recalling the object of many late night rants by Riley.  True, the thought of Buffy being with a vampire like that was rather… creepy… but he didn’t feel any of the jealousy his friend did.  Angel was out of Buffy’s life, even if he did hold a piece of her heart.

“Yeah, you could say that.  I… well, truthfully a part of me was jealous.  When I first met Buffy, I fell in love with her.”

Graham’s eyebrows went up at that.  Was there a male in Buffy’s life that wasn’t in love with her?

“Unfortunately for me, Buffy saw me as nothing more than a friend.  And as soon as she met Angel, it was all over.  Even when they tried to be apart, he was the only guy for her.  And there were a lot of good reasons why they shouldn’t be together.  Like, if she made him too happy, we could all be killed.  But most of all… I *was* jealous.”

“Well… it takes a lot to admit that.”

“Yeah, well it’s easier to do it when you have moved out of that stage of your life,” Xander grinned.  “I still love Buffy, I always will, but it’s more like a sister now.  And that’s part of why I really want Riley to come back.  He treats her right… and from my brotherly point-of-view, she deserves that.”

It was a good thing Graham was so quiet to begin with, or else Xander may have realized that he was brooding as opposed to silently observing the girls laughing and splashing each other in the shallow water of the ocean.  He would treat Buffy right.  He’d treat her like a freaking goddess and worship her every day for the rest of his life!  Unfortunately, he didn’t come from a happy family in Iowa and wasn’t the epitome of all-American.  His mother had been great, but she was gone.  His father was a loser.  He did have his aunt, a wonderful, loving woman that he was sure Buffy would really like…. but how did that compare to Mr. and Mrs. Finn, who owned a big farm with grass and trees all around, who always had delicious home made food in the kitchen and five loving children?  Riley had everything to offer Buffy and he had nothing…. except his love.

“Besides,” Xander added, “if Riley’s back, maybe Spike will go away.”

“Spike?”

“Yeah… he’s a vampire.  You guys put one of those chips in his head, so he is basically harmless.  And he *has* been really helpful lately…. but it’s only because he’s in love with Buffy.”

“There is a *second* vampire in love with Buffy?” Graham asked in disbelief.

Xander nodded, “Yup… and if Riley were back, maybe Spike would get the message that he’d never have Buffy and leave town.”

Graham shook his head.  There really *wasn’t* a man around Buffy that wasn’t in love with her.

***

“Hey, I brought a volleyball, want to see if everyone else wants to play a game?” Buffy asked Willow as the two of them walked back to where they had their towels laid out, after they’d had enough of playing in the waves.

Willow gave Buffy a look.  “No….”

“What?  Volleyball is fun!”

“Yeah, for you!  The rest of us uncoordinated people associate it with torturous gym classes.  Besides, we’re supposed to relax and have fun today, not get such a workout that we won’t be able to move tomorrow.”

“Jeez, sorry I asked,” Buffy muttered, flopping down on her towel and grabbing a coke.

She looked up and Graham and found him engaged in conversation with Xander…. sort of.  Xander was talking and Graham appeared to be listening.  But with Graham that was sometimes as close as you got to a conversation.

“Buffy, you just need to learn to relax.  You used to be great at it,” Willow commented.

The blonde sighed, “Yeah, well I used to not be my sister’s guardian and have to worry about bills and grades and the car along with saving the world from vampires.  Face it, Will… I’ve turned into an adult.”

Willow rolled her eyes, “There are adults who can relax.  Just tell yourself everything is and will remain fine and you need to enjoy yourself.”

Buffy gave her an incredulous look.

“Well… we could try and drug you…”

“Hey Buff,” Xander called, and held up a frisbee.  “Wanna play?”

Buffy grinned and jumped to her feet.  As the two of them jogged off to go toss the frisbee at each other, Willow stood as well, moving to sit in the chair Xander had vacated.  She’d been wanting to talk to Graham for quite some time, since she’d been wondering about some things since she met him when he’d fixed Buffy’s car.  And now was her chance.

“Hi Graham, having fun?”

Graham smiled politely, “Yeah, I am.”

“Good… it would be really nice if you started joining us in our little group excursions.  Do you spend a lot of time with Buffy?”

“Yeah… lately we’ve been hanging out a lot,” he answered, forcing himself not to smile as he reflected on what they really did when they hung out.

“That’s great, sometimes I worry about Buffy.  She can get so tense, you know?”

“I think she is doing fine.  Buffy has a lot on her shoulders and it takes some time to adjust to all the responsibility, but she’s handling it like a pro.”

“That’s our Buffy!”

“Yeah, she’s probably the strongest person I have ever met… not just physically.”

“She definitely is.  Buffy’s gone through much much more in the past few years than most people go through in a lifetime.”

“I know… I mean, she’s told me a lot of what has happened,” Graham told her.  Seeing Willow’s questioning look, he explained, “We talk a lot.”

She was surprised, since Buffy really didn’t like to talk about a lot of things that had happened… mainly Angel.  After all, she’d been in a relationship with Riley for months before she’d said anything about her former lover… and that had only been when she’d had no choice.  Obviously she and Graham were quite close….

“You know, a lot of guys have a problem with Buffy being so strong, in both ways.  They want a girl who needs them to protect her and to need him to hold her when she cries.  Why is that?”

Graham was quiet as he thought about that.  He had firsthand experience with this since he’d had to listen to Riley go on and on about his issues with Buffy and this was something that Riley had a slight problem with as well.

“Well, I think that a lot of guys like knowing they can be strong and protect the woman they love, and I sort of understand that, because it’s an instinctual thing.  And I think the same goes for being the strong one in the relationship when it comes to emotions,” he explained.  “But the fact is that if you are in a relationship with someone, they’ll need you.  In big and small ways, they will have needs that you can fulfill.  The problem with a lot of guys is that they aren’t secure enough just to be there as support whenever a need presents itself.”

Willow smiled; she liked him…. very much.

***

“So did you have fun today?” Buffy asked as she pulled the jeep into the parking lot of Graham’s apartment building.

After the long day at the beach, everyone had moved on to Xander’s apartment, to continue the party until dark when they could all go out on the balcony and see the fireworks.  Graham, however, had to patrol that night, so Buffy had volunteered to drive him home after they’d all eaten dinner.

“Yeah, I did.  Your friends are all nice.”

“Nobody came on too strong, did they?” she asked, actually referring to Xander.  She knew he meant well, but he tended to forget that Buffy was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

“Nope, they were all fine,” Graham said, then smiled at her as she pulled the jeep into a spot, “By the way, I like your swimsuit.”

In truth, he was hoping she’d come up to his apartment with him.  After that talk with Xander… he really needed to be with her, skin on skin, as close as two people could be.  It was far from healthy and he knew it, but he needed to forget for just a little while that Buffy could never be his.  So he pretended he was just turned on by seeing her in the black bikini, not overly skimpy…. but it was pretty sexy and didn’t make it hard to believe that it had turned him on quite sufficiently.

Buffy returned the smile, “I bet you do.”

“Hey, wasn’t that traffic on Hudson Avenue horrible?”

“Huh?”

“You know… because of the parade, there was all that traffic.  And maybe on your way back, you’ll have a hard time finding a way to get through because roads are closed.”

Buffy chuckled, “That would certainly be a shame.  Say, should I walk you up?”

“That would probably be safest.”

She turned off the engine, but before either of them got out of the car, they leaned over and met each other halfway, sharing a kiss filled with passion and promises of what was to come in mere minutes.  Hastily unbuckling their seatbelts, they both climbed from the jeep and hurried into the building.

Once in the blessedly empty elevator, Graham had Buffy leaning against the wall and resumed their fervent kisses, stroking his hands up and down her sides.  Before it could go any further, though, Buffy pulled away.

“Don’t they usually have cameras in here?”

They didn’t see one, but figured it could be a hidden one and since Graham really didn’t want to get funny looks from the security guards, he impatiently waited until the elevator reached his floor.

At long last, the doors slid open and they rushed down the hallway.  No sooner were they in the apartment with the door closed that Buffy was pushed against the wall with Graham planting hot kisses along the side of her neck.

One of the last thoughts Buffy had before she was overcome by mind-numbing pleasure was that she really needed to find a way to get into bikinis around Graham more often.

TBC...