TITLE: Life Just Ain't Fair...
AUTHOR: Ragna (WritingGoddess@...; SpikeGrrl1@...)
RATING: PG-13, language and content
CLASSIFICATION: Oh my lord...I guess no real couple, but reference to
slashiness.
SUMMARY: Lindsey and Graham plot to take over the world and get outsmarted
and publicly humiliated.
SPOILERS: Whatever Lindsey's last episode was (I think it was "Dead End")
and "Into The Woods"
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I
write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me
know.
PREVIOUS PARTS/ARCHIVED AT: http://www.envy.nu/allthepain/index.html
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If
you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or
them. Various friends of mine are holding characters hostage. You may see
them by appointment only.
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so
leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't
care if it's onlist or not, but I prefer offlist since I have quite a few
lists on No Mail.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This part fulfills the last three requirements (#5, #6, &
#8) of Gloveslap #25. Gileswench, I hope you enjoyed it.
~*~*~
"That's it! That's it! I can't stand this anymore!" Lindsey looked at Wesley
and Angel. "Why do you do this?"

"Do what?" Wesley said.

"Torment me. I'm not an evil demon."

"No, but you are evil."

"How am I evil? Prove it." Lindsey crossed his arms, staring down his
opponent.

Wesley cleared his throat. "One primary definition of evil is morally bad.
You have no morals or, if you do, they are against society's norms of right
and wrong. Another definition is corrupt."

"But corrupt means influenced by bribes," Lindsey said smugly.

"Corrupt also means dishonest, wicked and evil. If you are corrupt, then you
are evil. And you are the most corrupt man I have ever met."

"Have I deviated from the norm? Aren't most lawyers corrupt?"

"True," Wesley said, conceding the point to Lindsey. "But evil is also
depraved, vicious, and due to bad conduct or character and, frankly, I
wouldn't be surprised, should you ever be brought to an ethics committee,
you would be held accountable for far more than petty corruption." Wesley
had an even more smug look on his face than Lindsey had had.

Lindsey began to reply, but closed his mouth. "So I'm evil. So you win the
intellectual fight. But...can you win the physical fight?" With that he
lunged at Wesley.

Angel had ignored the intellectual fight when he felt Gunn tap him on the
shoulder. Cordelia had been fine right after Wesley and Angel left so they
hightailed it to Caritas. While Gunn and Angel watched Graham continue to
embarrass himself, Cordelia watched Lindsey and Wesley with interest.

When Lindsey made his move, she was ready. Fighting demons in Sunnydale all
those years hadn't left her totally incapable of fighting. She tripped
Lindsey as he moved towards Wesley, and as he stumbled, she caught him.

"Poor lawyer boy. Here, let me help you up," she said in a sickly sweet
voice. As he shrugged her off, she got her footing right and swung a left
hook at him.

He fell to the floor, knocked out.

Cordelia looked at him for a second, then grabbed her fist with her other
hand. "Ow! Ow ow ow OW!"

***

Kate got the call to Caritas. There had been a disturbance, and a guy was
there with his pants down and, oh, Graham Miller and Lindsey McDonald were
involved.

She walked in and saw Cordelia at the bar with a pack of ice on her fist,
Lindsey on the floor by the stage with a blond and the demon host standing
over him staring at the man's briefs, Angel and Gunn making an obvious drag
queen continue singing child songs.

She looked at Wesley, who'd met her at the door. "Do I want to know what
happened?"

"Yeah, but not in a police report way," he said. "Let's just say Lindsey can
get arrested for public lewdness. The man in drag on the stage is the Mr.
Miller you were looking for. Gunn's having fun with him."

"Did Cordelia knock Lindsey out?"

Wesley nodded. "She surely did."

Kate shook her head, fishing around for her handcuffs. "Trust Angel
Investigations to get the job done."





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