----- Forwarded Message ---- From: Corazon Martinez <kiabotm@...> To: marilyn <pototay@...> Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 2:33:54 AM Subject: Fw: "FAITH"
----- Forwarded Message ---- From: Maria Cabigao <Mcabigao@...> To: Emie <emieal@...>; carlo alberto <csalberto01@...>; Corazon Martinez <kiabotm@...>; Sonny Alberto <pierjohn@...>; santos dominique <joniquedlr88@...>; Loralie Roxas <LRoxas@...>; Teresita Roque <TRoque@...>; Anabell Luna <Aluna@...>; Susana Verdejo <SVerdejo@...>; Evangeline Baello <EBaello@...>; Elizabeth Noble <ENoble@...>; Shunte Wyndham <SWyndham@...>; cabigaorobin@...; Zelda Johnson <zjohnson@...>; hides8@...; raquel-angela rodriguez
<discdangel@...> Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 2:37:47 PM Subject: "FAITH"
This is 'Faith'
This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which need to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.
His first owner also did not think that he can survive. Therefore, he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'. By this time, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met
him and wanted to take care of him. She is determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith'.
In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfing board to let him feel the movements. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him to stand up and jump around. Even the other dog at home also helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind
legs and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he now can walk like a human being..
Faith loves to walk around now.. No matter wh ere he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows. There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.
His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her
teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'..
In life there are always undesirable things. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction. I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.Faith is the continual demonstration of the Strength of Life A small request: All you are asked to do is keep this circulating. Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen
All you are asked to do is keep This circulating. Even If it's to one more person. In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down By cancer or is still living with it.
Surprised CBS let him get away with this even though he's right!
�
Right on, Andy Rooney!
Andy Ro oney said on '60 Minutes' a few weeks back:
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.
I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off..
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.
I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!
My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the above lines.
I don't think just because you were not born In this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich; I don't pity the poor
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say 'NO!'
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe . I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.
And if you don't like my point of view, tough....
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance.. Why don't we just tell the 14% to BE QUIET!!!
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window. The Father asked his Son , "What is this?"
The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes , the Father asked his Son the 2nd time , "What is this?" The Son said "Father , I have just now told you "It ' s a crow". After a little while , the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time , What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son ' s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It ' s a crow , a crow". A little after , the Father again asked his Son the 4th time , "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father , "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again , although I have told you so many times ' IT IS A CROW ' . Are you not able to understand this?" A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary , which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page , he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it , the following words were written in the diary : - "Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa , when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was , and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this" , the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times , the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
--- On Tue, 6/16/09, Mila Marzo <faith77143@...> wrote:
From: Mila Marzo <faith77143@...> Subject: Fw: PINOY INI! I saw the signs!-Hi,Marge!Marlon! To: "OFCI" <ofcinternational@yahoogroups.com> Date: Tuesday, June 16, 2009, 10:21 PM
--Welcome back to your home, Marge! Welcome,too,Marlon! I'm also new here, having started only a month ago. I was invited by FGM from ahs'62yahoogroup. I saw Marge' picture..ang bata pa pala!! HEre's something from ahs'62yahoogroup's moderator: " PINOY IN!!! I saw the signs!!!" (..some could be very naughty!)
From: LETTIE NATIVIDAD Subject:PINOY INI! I saw the signs! To: Date: Tuesday, June 16, 2009, 2:22 AM
The Filipinos’ propensity for spoofs shows no sign of abating.
Humor, even in the most difficult situations, almost always worms its way, and usually ends up softening the impact of what could otherwise be a bad situation. That is typically Filipino, After all, we are not known as on of the happiest people in the world for nothing. Why do Filipinos thrive despite the adversities? Read on and you’ll see why.
1. Parlor in San Juan: “Cut and Face.” 2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto. Tomas, Batangas: “Starducks.” 3. Fast food eater in Nueva Ecija: “Violybee.” 4. Internet café… “Café Pindot.” 5. In Manila, there’s a laundry named “Summa Cum Laundry.” 6. Petshop in Ortigas: “Pussies and
Bitches.” 7. A petshop in Kamuning: “Pakita Mo Pet Ko.” 8. Bakery: “Bread Pit.” 9. Bank in Alabang: “Alabank.” 10. Restaurant in Pampanga: “Mekeni Rogers.” 11. Restaurant in Pasig “Johhny’s Fried Chicken; The ‘Fried’ of Marikina.” 12. A boxing gym: “Blow Jab.” 13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: “Lito Lapida.” 14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village: “Pakopya ni Edgar.” 15. A beerhouse in Cavite: “Chickpoint.” 16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: “Star Wash: Attack of the Clothes.” 17. Internet café in Taguig: “n@kopi@.” 18. Name of a kambingan: Sa Goat Kita 19. A salon: “Curl Up and Dye.” 20. Lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: “Gee
Congee.” 21. Water refilling station in Dapitan: “Wa-Thirst.” 22. A store selling feeds for chickens: “Robocock.” 23. Shoe repair shop in Marikina: “Dr. Shoe-Bago.” 24. Shoe repair shop alsong Commonwealth (Avenue): “SHOEPERMAN: We will HEEL you, save your SOLE, even DYE for you.” 25. Pet shop: “Petness First.” 26. Flower shop: “Susan’s Roses.” 27. Taxicab: “Income Taxi.” 28. Second-hand watch store: “Second Time Around.” 29. A squid stall in a wet market: “Pusit to the Limit.” 30. A shrimp store: “Hipon Coming Back.” 31. A gay lawyer’s extension office: “Nota Republic.” 32. A ceiling installer: “Kisame Street.” 33. A car repair shop: “Bangga
ka ‘Day?” 34. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: “Fish Be With You.” 35. A fishball cart: “Poke Poke.” 36. A beauty salon: “Saudia Hairlines.” 37. A bakery: “Anak ng Tinapay.” 38. A resto along Mayon St.: “May Lisa Eatery.” 39. Laundry shop: “Wash Your Problem.” 40. Mobile massage business: “Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage Only, God is Watching.” 41. Ice cream parlor: “Dila Lang Ang Katapat.” 42. Chicharon store: “Chicha Hut.” 43. Neighborhood pizza store: “Pizza Hot.” 44. Fishball cart: “Eat My Balls.” 45. Barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: “Pinoy Big Barber.” 46. Resto: “The Last Supper.” 47. Goto resto: “Goto Ko
Pa!” 48. Peanut vendor’s cart: Mani ni Papa.” 49. Gym in Malolos: “Gaymann Fitness Center.” 50. Party needs business: “Balloon-Balloonan.” 51. Chinese resto in Pasig: “Lah-Fang.” 52. A store selling fresh chicken owned by a woman named Dina: “Dina Fresh Chicken.” 53. Bait and tackle shop in the US: “The Master Baiter.” 54. Panaderia: “Trimonay.” 55. Salon: “Hair Dot Comb.” 56. Signage on a Resto: “We are open 25 hrs. a day – no lunch/dinner breaks.” 57. Lumpia (spring roll) kiosk: “Sariwain Natin ang Lumpia.” 58. A “healthy-eating” restaurant: “Trimona.”
Reminds us that the only obstacle to fulfilling our dreams is in our mind.
READ THE STORY BEFORE YOU WATCH THE VIDEO...
Here's their story ...
In a Chinese modern dance competition on TV, one very unique couple won one of the top prizes. The lady, in her 30's, was a dancer who had trained since she was a little girl. Later in life, she lost her entire left arm in an accident and fell into a state of depression for a few years. Someone then asked her to coach a Children's dancing group. From that point on, she realized that she could not forget dancing. She still loved to dance and wanted to dance again.. So, she started to do some of her old routines, but having lost her arm, she had also lost her balance. It took a while before she could even make simple turns and spins without falling.
Then she heard of a man in his 20s who had lost a leg in an accident. He had also fallen into the usual denial, depression, and anger type of emotional roller coaster. But she determined to find him and persuade him to dance with her. He had never danced, and to "dance
with one leg .... are you joking with me? No way!" But, she didn't give up, and he reluctantly agreed thinking, "I have nothing else to do anyway."
She started to teach him dancing 101. The two broke up a few times because he had no concept of using muscle, how to control his body, and knew none of the basic things about dancing. When she became frustrated and lost patience with him, he would walk out. Eventually, they came back together and started training seriously. They hired a choreographer to design routines for them. She would fly high (held by him) with both arms (a sleeve for an arm) flying in the air. He could bend horizontally supported by one leg with her leaning on him, etc. In the competition, as you will see, they dance beautifully and they legitimately won the competition. "
New Email names for you! Get the Email name you've always wanted on the new @ymail and @rocketmail. Hurry before someone else does!
If not, believe me, you don’t want to experience it.
I’ve been denied a visa. Twice. From the US Embassy no less.
Look into my heart and you’ll find two ugly scars.
I remember my first attempt.
I was still in my teens.
When I woke up, I was already wet with nervous sweat. It didn’t help that when I arrived in the US Embassy, I saw a humongous crowd of hopeful Pinoys outside the gates of American Heaven. They were standing in long lines, all of them begging for a visa. I felt their collective fear. It was nerve-wracking.
Each step closer to the interviewer made my stomach churn. I could actually hear the loud beating of my chest and wondered if everyone else heard it.
Dub-dub. Dub-dub. Dub-dub.
Finally, it was my turn.
I walked up to the glass window and said with a trembling voice, “Good morning…”
Am I Human?
The consul, a thirtyish guy with square spectacles, was all business. He looked at my passport. I bet he already made up his mind right there, but the interview had to go on.. He asked, “So why do you want to go to the US ?”
I said, “I’m a preacher and a Catholic convention is inviting me to give a talk.”
That was when I realized—My gosh, who in the world would believe me? A pimple-faced, scarecrow-looking teen-ager being invited to speak in a religious convention?
The man abruptly left his cubicle. I imagined he was laughing out loud and rolling on the floor. When he came back, he said matter-of-factly, “I’m sorry Mr. Sanchez, I can’t possibly give you a Visa.”
Again, I imagined him say instead, “I’m sorry Mr. Sanchez, you’re so totally unworthy of stepping on the beautiful shores of America because we only accept human beings.”
Another Rejection
The second time I applied, the interviewer was an American lady.
She was very kind to me. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I can’t possibly give you a Visa,” she said, “I’m so very sorry, I can’t possibly give you a Visa.” But it still broke my heart.
By the third time I applied, I thought I was already an expert in the body language of foreign diplomats. I got ready for another denial.
Here were the signs I was looking for:
If the consul has an emotionless zombie look on his face, I’d get denied.
If he shakes his head… Denied.
If he raises an eyebrow… Denied.
If he yawns… Denied.
If he looks at his watch… Denied.
If he inhales oxygen… Denied.
If he exists in front of me… Denied.
I’m A Human Being After All
So I was so shocked when he approved my visa.
Just like that.
Without asking me a question, the guy said, “Have a nice trip.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
He smiled and repeated himself, “Have a nice trip.”
“Where am I going?” I asked.
But I finally got it.
I almost ran out of the embassy jumping up and down.
Hey, I’m a human being after all!
Life With A Visa
When I still didn’t have a visa, I remember visiting my neighbor who had a potted plant from the US . I put my foot in it and announced, “Hey guys, I’ve finally stepped on US soil!”
When I didn’t have a visa, I couldn’t step on an inch of US territory.
But because I got the visa, I’ve now preached in 34 cities in North America .
Friends, there’s something better than a US visa.
There’s a visa to the land of abundance and love and victory that God wants you to have.
I should know.
I’m experiencing it right now.
It’s Harvest Time For Me
People ask me, “Bo, how can you be so blessed?”
They point to my loving family.
They point to my fantastic job that blesses the world.
They point to my financial blessings from my small businesses.
They point to my incredible circle of friends.
They point to my irresistible good looks. (Note: “They” consist of my mother and my wife.)
Yes, I’m living a dream life.
Sometimes, I have to pinch myself. Is this really happening?
Let me tell you a curious thing that started happening when I hit 40.
In 2006, I was named Ten Outstanding Young Men, awarded by the President in Malacañang Palace no less.
In 2007, I was given the Serviam Award, the highest award of the Catholic Mass Media Awards by none other than Cardinal Rosales himself.
And just last week, another fantastic recognition: The Golden Gavel Award from Toastmasters International—the highest award given to non-Toastmasters for public speaking..
Do you know why I’m so blessed?
Here’s my theory:
There are two seasons in this universe:
·The Planting Season
·The Harvest Season
For 40 years, I was in the Planting Season.
Today, I’m in the Harvest Season of my life.
It’s that simple. For years, I’ve planted and planted…and planted! Crossing the line between planting and harvesting was like receiving a visa to a land of abundance and ease. In other words, I’ve experienced a breakthrough.
Let me describe these two seasons as simply as I can. I cannot think of a clearer explanation as this:
In the Planting Season, I chased after blessings.
In the Harvest Season, blessings are chasing after me.
How to get to Harvest?
There really are only 2 Powerful Steps…
Step #1:
Even If You See No Results,
Keep Planting
Many of you are getting tired of doing good, of doing the right thing.
Why? Because you don’t see the results.
So you want to give up.
Don’t! Or there will be no Harvest.
Perhaps you’ve been applying for a job, but the right job has not been coming. Never mind. Keep applying anyway.
Perhaps you’ve been reaching out to your son, but he’s still distant as ever... Never mind. Keep reaching out to your son anyway..
Perhaps you’ve been working on your finances, but you’re still buried in debt. Never mind. Keep working on your finances anyway.
Perhaps you’ve been working on your marriage but the relationship is still strained. Never mind. Keep working on your marriage anyway.
A wife said to her husband, “I’m so tired of our fighting. I can’t take it anymore. I’m leaving the house!” And the husband said, “Me too! I can’t take it anymore as well. I don’t want to stay in this house too! I’m coming with you.”
That husband wasn’t about to give up!
(Note: I’m not talking about abuse in marriage... These are the exceptions where it may be better for a husband and wife to live apart. In this article, I’m talking about the regular problems that slowly destroy marriages if we don’t work at our relationship.)
Some of us think if we plant, we’ll harvest.
That’s not how this universe works.
You’ll need to plant and plant and plant…and then you’ll harvest.
My friend, don’t give up.
Believe that harvest is coming!
Keep Showing Up!
Friend, if you want to succeed in life, you need to show up.
In the US embassy, I needed to show up for my interview.
And when I got denied, I just applied again.
When life denies you of what you dream for, here’s the key: Show up again.
What if I got so depressed and I never tried again? I would never have been able to preach in 34 cities in North America .
Remember that in the Planting Season, not all your seeds will grow. Many of your seeds won’t reach the Harvest Season. Some of your seeds will die.
I remember one area of my life where I had to plant again and again, almost giving up because it seemed as though nothing was happening…
Planting Seeds Of Love
In My Emotions
For almost 30 years, I was run by my fears.
Each morning, I would wake up with a profound sense of sadness. For many years, I didn’t know why I felt so sickeningly sad. Many years later, I was able to define it: it was shame. I had a shame-based personality, rooted in my molestation as a child and teen years. (I talk about this painful part of my life in my 2 books, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future and 7 Secrets To Real Freedom.) I was totally ashamed for who I was. I was ashamed that I existed in the world.
For years, I tried to please everyone. Because if someone didn’t like me, I would panic. I would die within. I was desperate for people to love me.
But daily, I planted seeds of love in my heart.
I received God’s love. I loved myself aggressively. I allowed others to love me. There were days when I was okay. But there were more days when my old fears would grip me again.
There were days when I wanted to give up.
I felt it was all a waste—that I would never get healed.
And then one day—I just noticed it—my fears were lessening. Its intensity weakening. My shame reared its ugly head less frequently.
I knew a miracle was happening.
I knew love was conquering my soul, edging fear out of my life.
Today, as I write this piece, my life has totally changed.
Harvest has come!
I now profoundly love myself. I’m no longer ashamed of myself. I cannot begin to describe to you the change in my inner life. It’s like night changed to day—and I’m a brand new person inside.
But there’s a second step to Harvest Season…
Step #2:
Plant In The Right Environment
The Law of the Harvest says, what you plant, you harvest.
But hidden in this Law is the need to plant your seeds in the right environmental conditions: Good sunlight and abundant water.
If I plant the right seeds in the wrong environment, there’ll still be no harvest.
What is the right environment? Faith.
You need to plant your seeds with blessing mindset. Faith is the water and sunlight of your seeds.
What is a blessing mindset? That no matter what happens, you expect to be blessed. That you expect good things to happen to you.
I know people who work on their finances—but don’t expect to be truly rich.
I know people who work on their family relationships—but don’t expect that they’ll ever get better.
I know people who work on their health—but don’t expect healing.
If you want to be blessed you have to expect to be blessed.
You have to expect the harvest.
Let me give you an example…
Develop Your Wealth Mindset
In my last Blog, I said that if you want to harvest more money, you have to plant value. Why? Because money is simply a symbol of value.
But why was it that for the first 30 years of my life, I was poor, even when I was planting the right seeds?
When I started serving God at age 13, preaching almost daily and leading non-profit organizations, I was already planting value into my life and enormous value in others—by helping countless of people. I planted what I believe are the 3 seeds of wealth—character (integrity), competence (gifting), and connections (relationships).
So why no harvest?
I didn’t have the right blessing mindset to make the seeds grow. In this case, I lacked a wealth mindset to make the seeds of money grow.
In other words, I didn’t want to become rich. I didn’t expect to be blessed.
It took years to get rid of my scarcity mentality. It came from…
·Wrong beliefs about myself: I identified myself with poverty.
·Wrong beliefs about God: I thought He wanted me to be poor.
·Wrong beliefs about money: I believed it was the tool of the devil.
I remained poor because I didn’t want the harvest.
I was already giving so much value to people, all I had to do was ask and I’d get paid handsomely. But I didn’t want to be paid.
So I remained poor.
When I hit 30 years old, I began to open myself to harvest.
I began to grow a wealth mindset.
And I began to grow my wealth too.
I remember reading all the books I could get on money and searching for all the mentors I could find. Sometimes, it seemed like the more I knew, the more confused I became. But I didn’t stop. I kept learning. Until everything made sense.
I also got into 8 small businesses—and failed in every single one of them. I lost tons of money. (I didn’t have much money then, so “tons” is a relative term.) It was devastating. Depressing! But I never gave up.
And then breakthrough came.
Today, money flows to me like a river. (Compared to my multimillionaire mentors, my river is more like a trickle from a leaking faucet. But it sure looks good to me!) I don’t look for business opportunities; Business opportunities come to me. And the right people, the right resources, and the right wisdom just come to me.
Yes, harvest has come.
And greater harvests are coming because I keep planting.
Even At Harvest, Keep Planting
Some of you are enjoying your Harvest Season in various areas of your life.
Don’t stop planting.
Don’t forget to take some of the seeds that you harvest and plant them.
If you do this, greater Harvest Seasons will come.
Next Week, I share with you the answer to this difficult question:
----- Forwarded Message ---- From: Mila Marzo <faith77143@...> To: ARELLANO HIGH School '62 <ahsclass62@yahoogroups.com> Cc: OFC <ofcouncil@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 4:41:35 AM Subject: Fw: Pinoy Bloopers
Mga Pinoy Bloopers:
Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?... Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.
*** Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will be against them.
*** Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother's burial: Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo? Starlet: Successful naman po.
*** Army officer to cadet: Officer: "Do you know why I ask you to stand?" Cadet: "No, sir." Officer: "Ok, why?" (anlabo!)
*** Sa isang examination: Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper? Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.
*** A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy. Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.
*** Teacher: What is ur name? Student:
Dell. Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)
*** In a restaurant: Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg? Customer: Side in, side out.
*** Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. ("Hindi ito bola" in English)
*** Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!
*** Teacher to students: Okay class, it's time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.
*** Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!
*** Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!
*** Posted in an establishment: None ID, nothing entry.
*** Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other: Friend 1: Am I raining outside? Friend 2: Not yet.
Sprinkle only.
*** Alma Moreno, in her show introduces Nora Aunor who comes in late: "Finally, please welcome, the late Nora Aunor."
----- Forwarded Message ---- From: JR Sagun <jrsagun@...> To: BSgm <boysagun@...> Sent: Wednesday, May 6, 2009 5:36:13 PM Subject: Fw: Need a good painter?
----- Forwarded Message ---- From: ernesto arambulo <camwrkr80@...> T
Subject: Need a good painter?
Need a good painter? This guy should qualify!
Before photo - typical concrete & stucco facade
The wall starts to take on a 3-dimensional appearance.
Eric in his element, 30' off the ground.
He does most of the artwork by himself & researches, paints and designs each project from scratch.
His wife Kathy, also an artist, serves as project manager.
After
photo - Finished product - MORE BELOW!
Here are some more examples of Eric's projects...
Great American Crossroad - Bucyrus , Ohio
Before photo -
After photo
Liberty Remembers Before photo
After photo... hard to believe you're looking at a flat 2-dimensional wall.
How to dress up a drab Shopping Mall - Niagara , New York Before photo...
After photo... also look at the close-up of left side and middle (I wonder how
many birds fly into this wall on a daily basis??)
Indoor Murals Miller Brewery... Hallway Before - Miller Fermenting Rooms
After photos... - Past meets Present in the Miller Brewery Fermenting Rooms.
Hooks, clipboards and aprons were added to the surface of the murals to enhance the illusion...
You're looking at flat walls! Detail view looking down the illusional hallway in the previous mural.
SIMPLY AMAZING, ISN'T IT? I wonder how many people walk into the walls, while trying to go down a hallway that does not exist!
If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.
Ibang posisyon
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That?s a good idea dear?.doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman
ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.
Pinoy ingenuity?
A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a
man ' s sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It ' s
called a magnifiying glass.
Vibrating cellphone
Mrs: Bilis! Nahulog cellphone ko sa loob ng panty ko, nagba - vibrate.
Mr: E anong gagawin ko? Kukunin ko sa panty mo?
Mrs: Gago! Kunin mo yung charger baka ma-low bat!
> Regalo
Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni PARE ang birthday gift mo ah?
Mrs: Oo nga,7 months na di pa rin ginagamit.
Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya?
Mrs: Memorial Plan.
> Kriminal
KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung
papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala pa rin
siya! Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya...
>
Tutpik
Customer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang ang dali
pang mabali.
Waiter (inis): Alam nyo sir, ang dami ng gumamit nyan,pero kayo lang
nakabali!
> Confident Vs. Confidential
Anak: Itay, ano kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?
Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak
ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.
> First love never dies
Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies?"
Nanay: Aba , oo. Tignan mo yang Tatay mo, hanggang ngayon buhay pa
ang animal!
> Suko sa mister
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago
niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang
niroromansa.
> Pagod daw...
Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin.
Mr: Kasi pagod ako.
Mrs: Cge ka, pag ayaw mo maghahanap ako ng lalaki.
Mr: Cge, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo!
> Pari't Madre
Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kunin ko lang toothbrush ko.
Sister: Sandali, naka-panty lang ako.
Pari: Ok, antay ako.
Sister: Pasok na, wala na ako panty!
> Estudyante
Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500 Studiante!
Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa
studiante.
Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL ok yun!
> After the wedding
Husband: Sinungaling ka, sabi mo virgin ka! Bakit kagabi maluwag na!
Wife: Ulol ka! Dahil lasing ka, katabi mo kagabi si mama!
> Pamboboso
Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!
Inay: Bastos 'yun, ah! Ano ginawa mo?
Anak: Inalis ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di n'ya makita!
> Promotion
Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang dito humaharap sa korte ko, ha?
Swindler: Your honor, hindi ko kasalanan kung hindi po kayo ma-promote.
> Ampon
Anak: 'Nay, tinutukso po ako ng kalaro ko na anak ako sa labas!
Nanay: Hindi totoo 'yan, anak. Ang sabihin mo sa kanila, ampon ka!
> Ang sulat
Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang
sarili ko...
Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
> Immigration
Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: Your name please...
A: Abdul Aziz
Q: Sex?
A: Twice a week.
Q: I mean male or female?
A: Does not matter...sometimes even with camel.
> Liit naman
Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
Wife: E bat ikaw naka brief !!!
> Downy
GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: Aba syempre ah!!! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan!!!
GIRL: Ginagamitan mo rin ba ng Downy?
BOY: Baket? Bango ba?
GIRL: Lambot eh!!!
> Hide and Seek
GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-sex
sa 'yo...
BOY: Eh, kung di kita makita?
GIRL: Nasa likod lng ako ng piano...
> Ngongo
dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: gago!!!! pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!
> Madre
dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: diyos ko! patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.
Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!
> Rape Suspek
ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!...mangasar ka pa!!!!
> Lost a Bird
a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
Priest: anyone got a bird?
all men stood up.
Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
all women stood up.
Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
....all nuns stood up
> TEACHER and BOY
TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.
"Bernie had very nice hands...I'm surprised and shocked. I can't believe they
would have done this."
That's how Filipina manicurist Ellen Bueno remembers Ponzi schemer Bernard
Madoff in a New York Daily News article that highlighted the billionaire con
artist's side as a "terrible tipper."
Unlike Manhattan waiters and restaurant staff who revealed to the Daily News
Madoff's style of routinely stiffing them despite his enormous wealth from duped
investors, Bueno didn't actually berate the 70-year-old Madoff who is now living
at the Metropolitan Correctional Center awaiting a June 16 sentencing.
In fact, she remembers him fondly, and also Madoff's wife Ruth, both of whom she
serviced in their $7 million East Side penthouse.
Bueno dished out that Ruth Madoff didn't let her husband get his hands on their
cash.
"The wife always handled the money," Bueno said.
In the same, article, waiters in eateries where Madoff frequently ate said "he
was too tight."
"He was not a good tipper," said one who worked at Eat Here Now, a restaurant
opposite Madoff's penthouse.
"He wasn't just scamming the investors," griped a second waiter. "He was hurting
me on my tips."
Madoff pleaded guilty on March 12 in Manhattan federal court to defrauding
investors of as much as $65 billion in both real and phony assets.
He faces a 150-year sentence for using money from new investors to pay off old
ones in a global fraud that snared investors as varied as filmmaker Steven
Spielberg and New York University.
The $65 billion figure includes money taken in from investors, as well as fake
profits allotted to them over the years of the fraud.
The larger amount of $170 billion the government is seeking refers to funds that
passed through Madoff's firm during the 20 years the fraud took place.
Three days after the conviction, the government said in a court filing it will
seek to take the Madoffs' personal assets, valued by the couple at more than
$100 million, including their homes in Manhattan, Montauk, Palm Beach, Florida,
and France.
----- Forwarded Message ---- From: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> To: arellano1964@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, March 22, 2009 11:05:36 PM Subject: [arellano1964] ~~~~~~Some Christian Humor~~~~~
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments. " answered the lady. ========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!" ========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10
years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." ========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." ========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... " ========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm
so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
========
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth'."
========
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in
the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========
________
VATICAN HUMOR
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me,Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver,wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back
as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph. (Remember,the Pope is German!)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license--and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle,and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I
mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there,the mayor?"
Cop:"Bigger. "
Chief: "A senator?"
Cop:"Bigger. "
Chief: "The Prime Minister?"
Cop:"Bigger. "
Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop:"His chauffeur is the Pope!"
------------ --------- ----
Give me a sense of humor, Lord, Give me the grace to see a joke, To get some humor out of life, And pass it on to others... enjoy the week people!
You can email me to this address. I also invited you to the webgroup of ReachInc. I set this up a while back so the Reach community can continue communicating. After joining, you can send me your email or post your email at the ReachInc website.
Louie and I communicate through the website. I also invite Betty and I could invite the others if I had their email addresses.
Percy
From: tony barilla <tonyb_cfc@...> To: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> Cc: betty bernal <bbernal1016@...> Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2009 3:53:09 AM Subject: Re: Update
PERCY,
CORRECT KA DYAN. EITHER HINDI SILA MARUNONG MAG - EMAIL O KAYA AY WALANG COMPUTER. NA FAX KO NA KAY ATYY. GARCIA YUNG SULAT MO. MERON NAMAN PALA SYANG EMAIL ADDRESS. ( wtgarcialaw@...). SAGUTUIN KA NA LANG DAW NYA THRU EMAIL. HIS ADRESS IS #11 MOCKING BIRD, FRANCISVILLE, ANTIPOLO CITY. TELEFAX NUMBER 6467373.
TONYB
--- On Thu, 2/19/09, Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> wrote:
From: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> Subject: Re: Update To: tonyb_cfc@... Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 9:57 AM
Tony
Kahit telephone numbers nila ay ipakibigay sa akin o di kaya ay residence addresses. Parang nasa Middle Ages pa ang mga tao diyan -- walang email o di kaya ay ayaw gumamit ng email.
I want to start a t-shirt business -- diyan isi-silk screen sa Pinas. Dito ibebenta sa U.S.
There are nice t-shirts at the Farmers Market. Pls. find out the best maker/silkscreener, the prices, and let me know.
Thanks.
Percy
From: tony barilla <tonyb_cfc@...> To: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> Cc: bbernal1016@... Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:19:15 PM Subject: Re: Update
PERCY,
AKO NA LANG YATA ANG BUHAY SA MGA KAIBIGAN MO RITO SA PINAS. WA LA NA KONG CONTACT SA MGA BINANGGIT MONG MGA PANGALAN. SI BETTY BERNAL AY NAGKITA KAMI MINSAN. ANYWAY, I"LL CALL BABY CUEVAS. BAKA ALAM NYA KUNG PAANO KO SILA MAKOKONTACT.
ANO BA YUNG MGA BUSINESS IDEAS NA NASA ISIP MO.?
SEND MO NGA SA AKIN AT NG MAPAG ARALAN KO,
TONYB
--- On Thu, 2/19/09, Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> wrote:
From: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> Subject: Update To: "tony barilla" <tonyb_cfc@...> Cc: percivalcruz@... Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 3:12 AM
Tony,
Amanda will, God permitting, deliver her first baby and my first apo in March. His name will be Sebastian. Miki graduated "magna cum laude" from California State University last June; she's teaching violin and piano now. Omar "Jack" is graduating from Burbank High School this June.
Lili works in a payroll company that pays the fees of movie and tv talents/workers. I sell real estate and cars.
I want to hook up with you guys and internet is the best way. I have several business ideas that I want to pursue.
Please get me the email addresses of the friends, former coworkers who might be able to participate. Let's make some money together again.
You can email me to this address. I also invited you to the webgroup of ReachInc. I set this up a while back so the Reach community can continue communicating. After joining, you can send me your email or post your email at the ReachInc website.
Louie and I communicate through the website.
Kumusta na si Oscar. Mga lolo at lola na ba kayo?
Percy
From: Betty Bernal <bbernal1016@...> To: tonyb_cfc@... Cc: percivalcruz@... Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2009 12:16:45 AM Subject: Re: Update
Dear Tony,
Timing naman cause I met Jess Vinluan last night sa Landmark Dept. store. Of course nagkwento ang madaldal na matanda. He is doing well at his age, would you believe eh 82 years old na pala yon.
Ok naman pala sila Percy nakakamiss din ang mga friends natin. Imagine naka diapers lang si Amanda nuon. How are you Percy? Am still connected in an ad agency kaya lang medyo unpredictable ang budget ng mga clients this year. I also have my personal clients aside from agency clients. Mabuti na rin yon para sure na may racket pa rin ako.
My brother lives in Hayward, I know malapit sila duon. My niece graduated high school at Davis School.
Jess Vinluan said you and your family will leave for Canada. Tony are you still here in P.I.
The last time umuwi si Linda de Guzman nag lunch kami kasama si Tita.
Ok just let me know if I can be of help to both of you.
Betty Bernal --- On Thu, 2/19/09, tony barilla <tonyb_cfc@...> wrote:
From: tony barilla <tonyb_cfc@...> Subject: Re: Update To: "Percival Cruz" <percivalcruz@...> Cc: bbernal1016@... Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 8:19 AM
PERCY,
AKO NA LANG YATA ANG BUHAY SA MGA KAIBIGAN MO RITO SA PINAS. WA LA NA KONG CONTACT SA MGA BINANGGIT MONG MGA PANGALAN. SI BETTY BERNAL AY NAGKITA KAMI MINSAN. ANYWAY, I"LL CALL BABY CUEVAS. BAKA ALAM NYA KUNG PAANO KO SILA MAKOKONTACT.
ANO BA YUNG MGA BUSINESS IDEAS NA NASA ISIP MO.?
SEND MO NGA SA AKIN AT NG MAPAG ARALAN KO,
TONYB
--- On Thu, 2/19/09, Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> wrote:
From: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@...> Subject: Update To: "tony barilla" <tonyb_cfc@...> Cc: percivalcruz@... Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 3:12 AM
Tony,
Amanda will, God permitting, deliver her first baby and my first apo in March. His name will be Sebastian. Miki graduated "magna cum laude" from California State University last June; she's teaching violin and piano now. Omar "Jack" is graduating from Burbank High School this June.
Lili works in a payroll company that pays the fees of movie and tv talents/workers. I sell real estate and cars.
I want to hook up with you guys and internet is the best way. I have several business ideas that I want to pursue.
Please get me the email addresses of the friends, former coworkers who might be able to participate. Let's make some money together again.
You are the...
Apple of my eye
Mango of my Pie
Palaman of my tinapay
Niyog on my kalamay.
You are the...
Ipin of my suklay
Ring on my kamay
Blood of my atay
Bubbles of my laway.
You are the ...
Roof of my bahay
Strength of my tulay
Joy of my tagumpay
Dream of my Nanay.
You are the...
Ube in my monay
Patis in my gulay
Toyo in my siomai
Calcium in my kalansay
You are the...
Buhol of my tie
Bituin of my sky
Beauty of my Tagatay
Ketchup on my french fry.
You are the...
Wings when I fly
Wind when I paypay
Sipit for my sampay
Tungkod when I am pilay.
You are the...
Shoulder when I cry
Cure to my"aray"
Answer as to "why"
I am nangi-ngisay.
You are the...
Love until I die
In short.......you are
The Center Of My Buhay.
Anonymous
Townsville toilet row man sacked over bathroom habits LENDL RYAN January 24th, 2009
A TOWNSVILLE man has been sacked for `un-Australian' toilet habits.
Amador Bernabe, 43, uses water to clean himself instead of toilet paper.
Mr Bernabe, a machine operator on a working visa from the Philippines, said it was his culture. But on Thursday he got the shock of his life when his foreman followed him into the toilet questioning his toilet hygiene. Mr Bernabe said his employer Townsville Engineering Industries (TEI) sacked him yesterday for not going to the toilet the Australian way.
TEI, which is located at the Bohle, could not be reached for comment yesterday. The move has angered union bosses and politicians on the Australia Day weekend.
"I went to go to the toilet and I took a bottle of water when my foreman saw me and he said `you can't bring the water in there'," Mr Bernabe said. "I asked why and he said it wasn't good but I said it's our way and he followed me into the toilet. "I said it's my personal hygiene. I didn't break any law, I didn't break any rules of the company, why can't I do this, and he said he would report me to the manager.
"The next morning when I came in I went to punch my time card and he told me the manager wanted to talk to me in his office.
"He asked me what had happened and I explained to him and he said if I didn't follow the Australian way I would be immediately terminated and I said `sir, then you better terminate me'.."
Australian Manufacturing Worker's Union state organiser Rick Finch said the incident was shocking. "I think it is atrocious, an invasion of a person's rights and cultural beliefs," he said.
"The paradox of the toilet and a person's actions is something that no boss can even think about interfering with and the thought that bosses think they have the control to get involved in the toiletry is a gross invasion of an employee's privacy. "If it wasn't so disgusting it would almost be laughable." Mr Finch slammed the move as `bigoted'.
Greens spokeswoman Jenny Stirling praised Mr Bernabe for standing up for his rights. "I commend the man for standing up for himself and I encourage the employer to have further talks with the union and the employee and I am sure commonsense will prevail," she said.
"I would like to see how Australians feel when they go to Europe where in places they don't have toilet paper." Thuringowa MP Craig Wallace said the company should re-evaluate their priorities. "Employers should be worried how their business operates rather than what their employees do in the loo," he said.
"I know in a number of cultures using paper to clean yourself is considered an offence because of their beliefs. "If he is being hygienic and not bothering anyone else then good luck to him."
Mr Finch said employers should be more tolerant of their employees, especially in Mr Bernabe's case where he has been brought to the country by TEI on a 457 visa. "At the end of the day we are a multicultural society and if they want to import workers then they need to be tolerant of other workers and other cultures," he said.
"They don't own these workers, they are borrowed and hired to carry out a job.
"The thought these bosses think they can lord it over these workers is insane.
"What it shows is the company's complete arrogance for workers' rights"
Mr Bernabe, a father of four, had been with the company since April 2008 and said he had no problems until yesterday. "It's hard work but it is my skill so it is good," he said. "The only problem was yesterday."
Anonymous
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder
how often we take for granted that children understand what we are
teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing
but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God
is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they
weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were
driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in
though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was
Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah,
who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but
one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put
his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join
him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous
than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in
exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a
really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton
Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the
evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These
plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave
them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat,
smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to
use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell
over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a
slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and
500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound
very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of
these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up
on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have
to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of
The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been
born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the
door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter
of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the
Pharisees and the Romans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.
Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to
some Germans on the Mount.
But the Romans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius
the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his
hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, and then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.
His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Pasyente ... magkano ang facelift? Doktora ... complete treatment ay P145,000 Pasyente ... mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktora ... heto tsupon, P20 lang!!
PROBLEMA NGA
Pasyente ... Doc, may problema ako...tuwing alas otso ng umaga dumudumi ako... Doktor ... so, anong problema doon? Pasyente ... Eh alas nuwebe po ako nagigising.
CUSTOMER
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked, 'are they your babies?' Man: 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints!'
PINTURA
Erap ... Honey, nagpintura ako ng banyo. Loi ... Bakit dalawa ang suot mong jacket, ang init, init !!! Erap ... Sabi kasi sa label, for best results put on 2 coats.
MANNY PAKYAW
Reporter ... Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na? Manny ... Ano'ng bill? yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawa't round sa bukseng?
HIWALAYAN
Wife ... maghiwalay na tayo! Man ... ok! akin ang bahay! Wife ... Akin ang farm! Man ... Akin ang kotse! Wife ... Wag mo isama driver, matagal ng akin yan. Man ... Magkakamatayan tayo! Akin siya!
HOLDAP
Lola ... Amang, wala akong pera! Holdaper ... Alam ko kung asan ang pera mo...[sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni Lola] Lola ... Ituloy mo iho, may dollars pa sa ibaba!!
Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary. The ad taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words." She said: "Pwede ba 2 words lang? 'Tanoy dead' " Ad taker: "No mam. 5 words is the minimum." After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: "Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo, "TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE "
Boy: 'Nay, anong ulam natin? Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak. Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba? Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!
Caloy: Tay ,di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo 'ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math? Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba? Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.
KANO SPEAKING TAGALOG Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow? Tindero: One way. Kano : Meg-kanow? Tindero: I sed ONE WAY. Kano : Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way? Tindero: Isang daan. Understang?!
Erap: Kalokohan! Di ako naniniwala! Walang taong ganun kataba! Loi: S'an ang balitang yan? Erap: Dito sa dyaryo. Sabi; "British tourist lost 2000 pounds."
MMDA (with pen and ticket to a traffic violator): Name? Foreigner Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinski Papakovitz. MMDA: Ahhh okay...(sabay tago ticket)...Next time be careful, ok?
BF: Sunduin kita mamaya, ha? Bubusina na lang ako pag nasa harap na 'ko ng bahay n'yo. GF: Sige. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo? BF: Wala. Busina lang...
(Nag-aapply si Tomas na security guard...) Interviewer: Ang kailangan namin ay taong laging may suspicious mind, highly alert, insistent personality, strong sense of hearing with a killer instinct. Sa tingin mo ba qualified ka? Tomas: Sa palagay ko po hindi. Pwede po bang yun misis ko na lang ang mag-apply?
Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, she HAS TO. But....when HE cancels a date...... he HAS TWO.
A CHINESE TO A CHINESE SHOULD NEVER COMMUNICATE IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE....
Chinese speaking to a Chinese telephone operator: Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that is not an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I am Saw Lee. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name.
From: Louie Guerrero <louielguerrero@...> To: ReachInc@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, January 25, 2009 5:39:59 PM Subject: Re: [ReachInc] Is he good or what?
Percy:
I have been calling your cellphone and landline, but I can not get thru you;
did you change your numbers again? Kindly send your new cellphone and tel numbers thru email.
Louie
From: Percival Cruz <percivalcruz@ yahoo.com> To: ReachInc@yahoogroup s.com Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 9:32:50 AM Subject: [ReachInc] Is he good or what?