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The Guardian newspaper - Question & Answer survey
Joanna Lumley, 61, actress

Interview by Rosanna Greenstreet
Saturday January 12, 2008
The Guardian

Joanna Lumley was born in Kashmir in 1946, the daughter of an army
officer. She was a successful model in the 60s before moving on to
work in films and theatre. In 1976, she landed her first major role,
playing Purdey in The New Avengers, and in 1992 she found fame with
a new generation with her Bafta-winning portrayal of Patsy in
Absolutely Fabulous. She is a founding patron of the charity Born
Free. She is married to the conductor Stephen Barlow and has a son.


When were you happiest?
When you sent me this questionnaire.

What is your greatest fear?
Drowning.

What is your earliest memory?
Being hot in Hong Kong aged two.

Which living person do you most admire and why?
The Dalai Lama - he says religion is just kindness.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I've got a bit of a manaña attitude.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Meanness.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Being presented to the Queen Mother as Carole Lombard.

Aside from a property, what's the most expensive thing you've ever
bought?
A painting.

What is your most treasured possession?
My memory.

Where would you like to live?
In a treehouse.

What would your super power be?
Speaking to the animals.

What makes you depressed?
Litter.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Jennifer Saunders: she can do my voice.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Whining.

What is your fancy dress costume of choice?
Andy Pandy.

What is your favourite book?
Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier.

What is the worst thing anyone's ever said to you?
Nick de Jongh said I was 'frankly dull'.

Cat or dog?
Both in squadrons.

Is it better to give or to receive?
To give - learn that now.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Avocados and heavily salted peanuts.

What do you owe your parents?
My love of practically everything.

To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
People whose pencils I nick. Sorry.

What does love feel like?
Utter panic but boiling = in love. Paradise on earth = love.

What was the best kiss of your life?
Muhammad Ali once kissed my hand.

Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
Countless times - but, hey...

Which living person do you most despise and why?
Whoever devised the Rich List.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
'Darling.' 'Sorry.' 'Bollocks.'

What is the worst job you've ever done?
I hate cleaning ovens.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not getting my oven clean.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My teenage spots.

If you could go back in time, where would you go?
To the Dark Ages: what was going on?!

How do you relax?
Lying on the floor like a stone effigy.

How often do you have sex?
As often as I like.

What is the closest you've ever come to death?
Being driven along the Karakoram Highway by a driver smoking bhang
(him, not me. I did not inhale).

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Being made prime minister.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My family.

What keeps you awake at night?
Wonderful books.

What song would you like played at your funeral?
Dido's Lament, by Purcell.

How would you like to be remembered?
Vaguely. Gratefully, if I've managed to give away all my money.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
You aren't going to leave this planet ever, so keep it nice.

Where would you most like to be right now?
In the Swiss Alps in a meadow full of flowers.