E-Mail part 2: The Revenge of the E-mail (4/4) – Jenny L- rating G

For disclaimers etc see part 0


FROM: General George Hammond genghammond@...
TO: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
SENT: 0813 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Lieutenant Colonel Carter

Jack,

Lieutenant Colonel Carter wanted me to tell you that her father
returned to the Tok'ra this morning and that she has gone with him
for a brief visit. She will contact you when she returns.

George Hammond


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
SENT: 0846 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: We need to talk

Ferretti, are you free later? We have to talk.

Janet


FROM: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
TO: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
SENT: 0849 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: We need to talk

Sure, I can be free later. Are you gonna give me some inside
information on the mystery parents? We could make a fortune!

Ferretti

P.S. Sorry about all the Valentines' stuff.


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
SENT: 0855 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Re: We need to talk

Don't you ever stop joking? It's time you grew up, Louis, in a
little under eight months you are going to be a father.

Janet


FROM: Teal'c mr_t@...
TO: Infirmary infirmary@...
SENT: 0856 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Major Ferretti

I believe someone should attend to Major Louis Ferretti. He has just
fainted at his desk.


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 0900 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Sorry

Sam,

I owe you an apology. When I heard everyone saying that you were
pregnant, I let them believe it. The truth is, I was scared because
I knew it might be me. Well, I got the test back this morning and it
turns out it *is* me. I'm supposed to be a doctor – I'm supposed to
know better. What am I doing?

Janet


FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
TO: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
SENT: 0903 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Congratulations!

Janet,

I'm so happy for you; you will make a fantastic mom and if you don't
believe me, just ask Cassie. Have you told her yet? Have you told
Ferretti yet?

Sam

P.S. I am probably *not* the person you should be asking for
relationship advise. Jack proposed to me last night, and I don't
know what to do – I even persuaded General Hammond to tell Jack I
had gone to the Tok'ra with my Dad. I really want to say yes, but
I'm worried that he is only doing this because of the baby thing.
How do I know that he would have proposed to me without it?


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 0905 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Thank you

I told Cassie last night, she is ecstatic; she really wants to be a
big sister. She even said that she was going to give up coffee with
me in sympathy. I couldn't face telling Louis, so I e-mailed him but
he still hasn't replied. Despite him being the most unromantic man
in the world, I do love him and I want him to be part of our lives.

Janet


FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
TO: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
SENT: 0906 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Romance

Romance isn't everything, Jan. If you want to be with him, forget
the past and go for it.

Sam


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 0910 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Romance

This from the woman who is hiding out on base instead of facing the
issue? Correct me if I'm wrong, but he tells you regularly that he
loves you, you want to marry him, and he wants to marry you. If you
forget the past, then what is the issue?

Janet


FROM: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
TO: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
SENT: 1148 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Charlie

Jack, how did you feel when you found out that Sara was pregnant?

Louis


FROM: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
TO: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
SENT: 1157 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Babies

Charlie was one of the two best things that have ever happened to
me. When Sara told me I was stunned at first, we hadn't been trying,
but I never regretted it for moment. I was so proud of both of them,
and excited, and just a little bit terrified. Sara took it much more
calmly than I did, and I remember doing some really stupid things
when she was pregnant like making her breakfast in the first
trimester and then having to watch her retch into the toilet. She
forgave me in the end, though.

Jack

P.S. By the way Ferretti, congratulations. You and Janet will be
great parents.


FROM: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
TO: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
SENT: 1200 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Janet

I think I've really screwed up with her, Jack.

Louis


FROM: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
TO: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
SENT: 1202 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Janet

Don't give up yet. Women are generally much smarter than us, and
much more forgiving.

Jack


FROM: Teal'c mr_t@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 1238 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Yahoo groups

Lieutenant Colonel Carter,

Lieutenant Simmonds has been helping me improve my Internet skills.
He recently showed me the art of googling something or someone. As I
entered your name, I was surprised to find that a Yahoo group has
been set up in your name. I would be honoured to join this group
with your permission.

Teal'c


FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
TO: sams_fans sam_fans@yahoogroups.com
SENT: 1240 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: This has got to stop

Simmonds, enough is enough. I am not going to go out with you - I
love Colonel O'Neill. Is that clear enough? The rest of you should
know better. Especially you, Felger, a beautiful woman has been
trying to ask you out for years and you have been ignoring her.
Chloe is a wonderful person and I think that you should get to know
her better.

Lieutenant Colonel S. Carter


FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
TO: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@..., Lieutenant Rebecca
Rush lieurrush@..., Chloe Rogers crogers@...
SENT: 1242 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: To make you feel better….

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Sam

FROM: Teal'c mr_t@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...,
Daniel Jackson djackson@...
SENT: 1248 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Lieutenant Rush / Jonas Quinn

I wish to inform you that I have incarcerated Lieutenant Rush and
Jonas Quinn in the store cupboard on level 21. I believe it will
assist them to `talk out their differences', which will allow me to
regain control of my Disney DVD collection.


FROM: Major Paul Davis majpdavis@...
TO: sams_fans sam_fans@yahoogroups.com
SENT: 1456 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: A Group song

I think the group song should be: `I will survive'. Sam may know we
exist and may not care, but we will never give up!

Davis

`I like a man who knows how to talk his way into power'


FROM: Sergeant Walter Siler sarwsiler@...
TO: sams_fans sam_fans@yahoogroups.com
SENT: 1458 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: A Group song

You missed the best bit. SAM KNOWS WE EXIST. I think our song
should be `You've got to have faith.'

Spaceboy Siler

`You, me, and my wrench.'


FROM: Simon Coombs scoombs@...
TO: sams_fans sam_fans@yahoogroups.com
SENT: 1501 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Re: A Group song

I don't think it matters what Sam thinks. Just seeing her every day
is enough – maybe she is better as a dream, she wouldn't be as good
in reality. How about `Love lifts us up where we belong.'?

Coombs

P.S. Has anyone seen Felger?


FROM: Lieutenant Graham Simmonds lieugsimmonds@...
TO: sams_fans sam_fans@yahoogroups.com
SENT: 1507 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: My beloved

You are all being too negative. Just because she said she loves
Colonel O'Neill, doesn't mean that she will get back together with
him. It is possible to love from afar. I refuse to give up hope
until she is standing at the altar.

The Big G

`Or do we have to arm wrestle …. naked?'


FROM: Sergeant John Taylor sargjtaylor@...
TO: Lieutenant Graham Simmonds lieugsimmonds@...
SENT: 1554 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Your music!

Man, if you play Celine Dion's `My Heart Will Go On' one more time I
am going to throttle you!

Johnny

P.S. Kick me off your group – see how much I care!

`Colonels and Majors @ XXXXX.com'


FROM: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
TO: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
SENT: 1559 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: You and me.

I've been an idiot, Janet. I'm *so* sorry. I love you, and the
little one.

Louis


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Major Louis Ferretti majlferetti@...
SENT: 1600 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: You and me.

My office in ten?

Janet


FROM: Master Bra'tac funkydude@...
TO: General George Hammond genghammond@...
SENT: 1618 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Golf Balls

Hammond of Texas,

I would be grateful if you could arrange for the provision of golf
balls to the beta site as we are preparing to host a Jaffa versus
Tok'ra tournament to decide who are the superior warriors.

Master Bra'tac


FROM: General George Hammond genghammond@...
TO: Master Bra'tac funkydude@...
SENT: 1620 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Golf Balls

Bra'tac,

I would be happy to supply more golf balls and I wish you luck in
the tournament, but I thought you took 50 balls back to the beta
site on your last visit to earth?

General George Hammond.


FROM: Master Bra'tac funkydude@...
TO: General George Hammond genghammond@...
SENT: 1623 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Golf Balls

Indeed, Hammond of Texas. However, there was an unfortunate incident
with Anise who had been using the golf balls for a rather unorthodox
purpose. As she was running from a group of Ba'al's Jaffa, they fell
from her upper garments which proved to be effective at stopping her
pursuers but left us without enough balls to play.

Master Bra'tac

P.S. The Jaffa do not need luck. We are the superior warriors and we
shall prove it over 18 holes.


FROM: Jay Felger jfelger@...
TO: Chloe Rogers crogers@...
SENT: 1630 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: This weekend.

They are showing the complete Star wars trilogy at the cinema on
Saturday. Would you like to come with me?

Jay


FROM: Chloe Rogers crogers@...
TO: Jay Felger jfelger@...
SENT: 1631 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: This weekend.

You mean with you and the guys?

Chloe


FROM: Jay Felger jfelger@...
TO: Chloe Rogers crogers@...
SENT: 1632 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Re: This weekend.

Actually, I thought we could go alone.

Jay


FROM: Chloe Rogers crogers@...
TO: Jay Felger jfelger@...
SENT: 1633 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: This weekend.

Ohhhhhhh, Jay. YES! YES! YES! YES!


FROM: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
TO: SGC personnel allpersonnel@...
SENT: 1646 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Sweet Revenge!

It's my turn, Ferretti. The new pool `Guess the date that
Ferretti's baby will be born'.
All of his usual rules apply. All bets to be given to Jack O'Neill
by 28/02/2005.

Jack O'Neill


FROM: Becky and Jonas happy_in_love@...
TO: SGC personnel allpersonnel@...
SENT: 1758 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Sharing!

We have worked out our differences, and from now on we have decided
to share our toothpaste and an e-mail address. Both of us can now be
reached at:

happy_in_love@...

Becky & Jonas

P.S. Thanks, Teal'c!


FROM: General George Hammond genghammond@...
TO: SGC personnel allpersonnel@...
SENT: 1827 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Illegal Usage of Base E-Mail

To all personnel,

It has been brought to my attention that certain personnel have been
spending a great deal of time using `yahoo groups'. This is not an
appropriate usage of resources and if it continues I will be forced
to bring action against the offenders.

General Hammond


FROM: Doctor Janet Fraiser majjfraiser@...
TO: Cassandra Fraiser aliens_rock@...
SENT: 2105 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: A house guest

Hey, sweetie,

How would you feel about Louis coming to live with us?

Mom


FROM: Daniel Jackson djackson@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 2221 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Jack

Sam,

I'm sorry about what has been happening with you and Jack. I don't
know if this will help, but I've attached a copy of some e-mails
that Jack has sent me – and the date he sent them on. I really do
believe that the two of you belong together, you've got what Sha're
and I had; hold on to it for as long as you can, because you never
know when it will end.


>SENT: 1021 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Valentines
>
>
>How are those rocks, Space Monkey? Remember all those times I saved
your butt? Well, now I need the favour back. Can you keep Sam
occupied on Monday evening until about eight o'clock? I would ask
Janet but Ferretti probably has plans for her.
>
>Jack

>SENT: 1035 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Monday
>
>That's fine, Jack, but what is happening Monday? Isn't Sam normally
at work that late anyway?
>
>DANIEL (not, and I repeat, not, Space monkey)

>SENT: 1038 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Re: Monday
>
>Monday is Valentines Day. (Hell, yeah, I remembered – well,
actually, I overheard Janet whining about it) I've got something
special planned for Sam but knowing my luck she'll choose Monday to
come home early and this absolutely cannot go wrong. This is way to
big for me to mess up
>
>SENT: 1040 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Re: Re: Monday
>
>Jack, you have to tell me what is going on. If you are suggesting
what I suspect you are suggesting then this is fantastic.
>You are suggesting what I think you are aren't you?

>SENT: 1043 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Sam
>
>I'm going to propose, Daniel, but you absolutely cannot tell anyone
anything. I know what the base is like, and this is between Sam and
me. For once, I want her to be the first to know what is going on
between us. Besides, if she says no, then I won't have to get
undeserved sympathy from everyone.
>
>Jack

>SENT: 1044 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Re: Sam
>
>Jack, that is fantastic. I'm so happy for you. Don't worry, there
is no way Sam will turn you down. I can't wait until Monday.
>
>Daniel
>
>SENT: 1048 MT 12 02 2005
>SUBJECT: Re: Re: Sam
>
>I wouldn't be so sure about Sam, Daniel. I'm old enough to be her
father, she's young, beautiful, a hell of a lot smarter than I am,
could have anyone she wants and I've got more baggage than a freight
train. I can't believe I'm doing this, Danny, except I love her. Oh,
and of course she watches the Simpsons with me!
>
>Jack


Daniel.

P.S. Remind Jack of all that I have done for him - and that he is
going to need a best man.


FROM: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
TO: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
SENT: 2222 MT 15 02 2005
SUBJECT: Goodnight Sam

I know you aren't there but,

`Night, Sam.

Jack


FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter lieucolscarter@...
TO: Jack O'Neill jackfishes@...
SENT: 2224 MT 15 05 2005
SUBJECT: Goodnight Jack

Goodnight Jack.

Sam.

P.S. Bye the way – YES!


I'd love feedback if you feel so inclined…......... Jenny L
bray_4_amber@...