Just got a DVD player and had to reveal to my husband a deep dark
mysterious mystery about my family and me...me and my family...
my Incestors.

I can't tell you about it right now. Never mind that,

(Looks away at telepromptor)

But I will tell you this-

My whole family used to watch Dark Shadows. We'd run from the bus
stop to be on the couch in time. My dad would just be coming in from
work, and would watch it with us.
I got as many as the Dark Shadows dvd's I could get my hands on at
one time and had my husband sit and watch them with me, to see what
the big deal was.

Would you like me to give you a sedative? I have just bottles and
bottles of them here in my medical bag, and in the pockets of my big
ugly Minnasota Woolens coat that I always wear.