Wow! I'm truly surprised at myself. I never thought that I'd be
inspired to write fan fiction for anything else but Lord of the Rings.
Curiously, the EIP angst hit me so hard that I was motivated to write
this very short story with the FALSE premise that Katara's confusion
wasn't resolved by the end of the finale. As a rule, I don't mess with
canon even in fan fiction. I like to respect the creators/authors work
and write within their canon framework. So, for this one time, I'll
bend my rule.

I chose to write this story in first person because it's easier for me
right now when considering the work I have to do for my other fan
fiction. Consequently, the story will be from Aang and Katara's point
of view in a more matured way. They should be 18 and 20 years now,
respectively.

I'll also mention that I was given added inspiration to write this
when I saw a sketch of Older Aang and Older Katara at deviant art by
the artist Allagea.

--

Aang's Narrative

I am Aang, the Avatar and the last Airbender in the world. Five years
have passed since the fall of Fire Lord Ozai, which ushered in an era
of peace amongst the three great nations. Since then, I have traveled
the world to begin my part to restore its balance and to help rebuild
the nations that had been ravished and scarred by the Fire Nation's
past aggression. As mediator, I have worked with Fire Lord Zuko and
the leaders of the other nations to begin the long, arduous road
towards reconciliation. The prejudices and grudges against the Fire
Nation would not, and could not, be removed by the work of a few
years; the hurts that had been inflicted were too deeply seated in the
minds of the nations and their profound distrust of the aims of the
Fire Nation could not be easily swayed. Fire Lord Zuko had much to do
to raise the honor and integrity of his nation from its dark pit of
ignominy, and, as the Avatar and his friend, I intended to help him in
whatever way that I could. In the eyes of the world, his nation was
irredeemable; its past sins had been too many; the peoples of the
world had through many lifetimes endured with the excessive cruelty
dished out by conquering and ruthless fire nation soldiers, who, in
their raids, demonstrated a wanton disregard for their lives, as they
seized their homes and burned them to the ground. These memories were
still vivid in their minds and it was hard for them to believe in and
accept this new hand of friendship extended from their past enemy.

In those days, the ugliness of political strife became very real to
me. From the small, fiery rebellions in the Fire Nation to the quiet,
elegant courts of Ba Sing Se, I saw and experienced much of this
during the first two years after the war. Not everyone in the Fire
Nation was willing to approve of their new Fire Lord's ideals for the
future of their homeland; there were many dissenters who still held to
that lofty idea of the Fire Nation's supreme rule over all the lands
of the world. And, while some challenged their liege lord through the
proper channels, with due honor and reason, others resorted to oppose
him through meticulously planned and orchestrated coups, which failed
only because we anticipated them. Some were upset that Fire Lord Zuko
had issued a decree to recall all his armies from the waters and lands
of the other nations. Only by the leave of the leaders of these
nations were a few of his armies able to remain in their lands. By
this were corrupt generals, who were enamored with the pleasure that
their exalted power afforded them, exposed; in direct defiance to the
Fire Lord's decree, they would not and did not relinquish their
conquered lands without a fight.

There had been many conflicts in those early years and there was still
many more that would come after these. The Dai-Li, for one thing, was,
for the most part, still at large and the Earth King, who had returned
to reclaim his throne in Ba Sing Se after word of the Fire Lord's fall
had reached him, desired to bring these traitors, as he so labeled
them, to justice. Some had turned themselves in and pleaded for the
pardon of their sovereign, and were striped free of their titles and
condemned to serve in menial posts in exchange for their freedom. As
to the others, well, they proved more cunning in their seclusion, in
that they eluded all of the Council of Five's concerted efforts to
find them and bring them to justice. Posters of the more notorious
members of the Dai-Li had been circulated throughout the Earth
Kingdom, which became fair business for bounty hunters who were
enticed by the Earth Kingdom's offer of a handsome reward for the
capture of any of these men. Yet, in these five years, only five of
the twelve had been discovered.

Almost two years after the war had ended, in the midst of these
troubles, the leaders of the nations were finally ready to convene in
Ba Sing Se to discuss, among other things, matters of restitution.
Disillusioned by the political disputes that had succeeded the war
through many, many months, I never imagined that it would be an easy
thing for the leaders to reach an agreement in these monetary
settlements; however, I believe nothing could have prepared me for the
bitter discord that arose at the time among these great men, whom I
had personally come to know and respect as noble leaders. In my young
mind, there was no price that could compensate for the precious lives
that had been lost over the last, war-torn century. While I did
understand something of the monetary grievances of the other nations
that had suffered such damages by the heavy hand of the Fire Nation
through the tumultuous years, it was still an unpleasant experience
for me. I suppose as the Avatar and an Air Nomad, I could not fully
appreciate these debates, which were, as I said before, sometimes very
heated, as there was little that I valued, if anything, of worldly
possessions. In the end, when that dreadful hurdle was eventually
passed, and the genuine hand of friendship could begin its work, I
felt relieved, and at last at liberty, to begin my travels. I had been
working continuously with the leaders of the nations since the war had
ended and it was now time for a vacation.

During the time of these discussions, I had met a new friend, Horonka,
who hailed from the Northern Water Tribe; he was of the royal house of
Chief Arnook, being the youngest son of his sister, and part of the
royal delegation that came to Ba Sing Se. After the discussions had
ended, when Chief Arnook was ready to set sail from the Earth Kingdom
to return to his tribe, he had invited me to return with his
entourage; he intended to hold a feast in my honor and in the memory
of those courageous souls that had sacrificed their lives to uphold
the freedom of their people. I had recollected Yue then, and my
thoughts had naturally turned to Sokka, whom, at the time, I had not
seen for over a year. He and Katara had returned to the South Pole
with their father for a long overdue homecoming with Gran-Gran. From
the very beginning, their wish had been to help me achieve my destiny;
now it was their turn to look to theirs, but I confess that I've
missed them through the years.

In the North Pole, Appa, Momo and I spent the better part of a year,
which, by its end, marked the third year since the war had ended.
Horonka, my new friend, was an excellent water-bender and we spent a
good portion of our leisure time surfing the cold, icy seas of the
North Pole. I found that as the years passed, this incredible power
within me only continued to grow, and with it, I could create enormous
waves that made for an exhilarating surfing experience. Even Horonka,
who was a serious, brooding guy, who generally seemed to lack a sense
of humor, enjoyed these icy escapades. I had a great time in the North
Pole and perhaps because of sentimental reasons, I was especially
endeared to that place.

When it was time for me to return to the Earth Kingdom, Horonka, who
had always longed to travel the world, gained permission from his
Chief to travel with me for a few months; those few months, however,
soon turned into years as the greater need to help the peoples of the
world outweighed his desire to return to his people. In Omashu, which
I was now to call my home, we stayed two months before returning to Ba
Sing Se. My old friend Bumi had offered me several rooms in his palace
that would serve as my own quarters. For the next two years, my Avatar
duties took Horonka and me to places far and wide, but for the most
part, we spent our time throughout the Earth Kingdom and in the walled
city of Ba Sing Se to help that once great city that was still
weakened and divided in the aftermath of the Dai Li's betrayal and
corruption.

Here now, I must tell of Toph, who during this last year has been much
with us. A year after the war, she had returned home to reconcile with
her family, which turned out to be a rockier road than even she
expected. She had a big problem. Her parents no longer trusted her and
demanded that she break all ties with us, whom they deemed as bad
influences. It did not matter that our little gang had saved the
world; in their minds, we were the culprits who were to share in the
blame for Toph's rebellion; they had openly welcomed us into their
homes, fed us, sheltered us, and we had betrayed their trust. Hence,
Toph was absolutely forbidden to contact us, and for a long time, we
could not hear anything of her; she intended to do things right this
time to win over her parents even if at the beginning it appeared
hopeless.

It was not until one evening, almost three years later, when Horonka
and I were guests at the Earth King's bash in Ba Sing Se, that I saw
her again. She was with her parents, who did not welcome me on their
own accord, but did so rather because of the Earth King, who spoke
well of me to them. Not only that, he spoke very highly of Toph to her
parents, elaborating lengthily upon her merits as a powerful earth and
metal bender, and her bravado during the downfall of the Earth
Kingdom, which, I personally believe did much to overturn their
excessively protective attitude towards Toph, who was, at the time,
seventeen years old. That was the first glimpse of hope that Toph had
of gaining their forgiveness and the extra perk of her freedom. She
later told me that after the Earth King's party, little by little, her
parents' attitude towards her began to change and that they actually
began to be proud of her. Her mother, especially, having seen the many
refugees that swarmed the lower level of Ba Sing Se, began to think of
the good that Toph could do in our effort to escort the refugees from
the Earth Kingdom capital back to their villages.

Not long after this, Toph joined Horonka, and I, as a guide and helper
throughout the Earth Kingdom. When we were not escorting refugees, we
spent our days roaming from village to village, helping to re-build
homes and cities and healing the hurts left by the Fire Nation. The
villagers would often reward us with food and shelter, which was
sufficient enough for us, and generally, we were glad to help. We
asked nothing of them but they gave to us, freely. Our lives were
good, except that Horonka and Toph had a terrible penchant to bicker
with one another, almost on a daily basis, which before I got used to
it, would drive me insane. Now, I just shrug and accept it as an
inevitable part of our lives. Their friendship, which is a genuinely
good one, still puzzles me, especially since they argue over the
stupidest things; at least, that was my opinion anyway. Yet, there
were times when I got a persistent vibe that things were not truly
what they appeared between them. There were moments when some act of
kindness, whether on Toph's part or Horonka's part, that made me
suspect them of liking each other in a way that was more than normal.
But that thought was almost always erased by a squabble in the next
moment. As it is, I don't know what to think of them and I gave up
trying to figure that one out a long time ago.

Here, I must now tell of the hidden sorrow that has plagued my heart
constantly through these five years, which, no matter how hard I have
tried to overcome it, would not leave me alone. Before my great battle
with Fire Lord Ozai, I had declared myself to Katara and was left with
the tormented and stinging uncertainty of its return; she had declared
herself confused and I, like an idiot, had made the situation worse by
kissing her. Ah, I can barely remember this without blushing and
feeling an immense amount of embarrassment. It had been a bad move on
my part and one that I sincerely and bitterly regret. Still, by the
end of the war, a war that she had given as one of the reasons for her
confusion, nothing had passed between us to resolve the matter; we had
parted as friends and with nothing more than a warm hug and a few
wishes to see each other soon. I think I knew in my heart then that my
hope was in vain, and it was many months after our parting that it was
finally struck dead.

When I was younger, this painful truth had once or twice brought me to
the black pit of despair. I cannot fully explain or describe the depth
of this sorrow. I only know that the blinding pain that I felt by this
love that was denied me was far more crippling than anything I had
ever experienced before. Without realizing it, I had built all of my
hope around Katara. I found myself questioning the Universe; I
wondered why I had been placed in this time, so far removed from the
era when, my people, the Air Nomads had thrived and were happy. What
was my purpose in being here now, a century later? I was charged with
the duty of caring for a world that no longer held any happiness or
hope for me. What was my life without Katara? My Katara! How could I
hate her for denying me her heart? She had been my faithful companion
through all of my adversities. She had been my light when the road
beyond seemed dark and impassable. She had been my joy when I was
overwhelmed by sorrow. She had been my strength, my rock, my safe
harbor when my doubts overpowered me. She had believed in me when I
could not believe in myself. What do I not owe her? With her own
healing hands she had brought me back from the cold grip of death. I
was certain that without her, I would lose my way.

And, I did, for a time, until my faith was renewed in my duty, as the
Avatar. I soon found that my loneliness and sadness was lessened by
the reward of helping others; and, with each passing day, this purpose
was strengthened within me. Only in the solitary watches of night,
when I wasn't wearied by the labors of the day, did this hidden sorrow
grieve me. Even in these later years, I admit that at times the long
stretches of years ahead are more like a burden to me than any other
doom could inflict. Yet, through this all, I have learnt to be strong.
Deep within, I have always known that the path that I walk was
destined to be one of separation. I had known it back when the monks
first told me that I was the Avatar and I knew it now. Perhaps this
was the true test of my life, to bear the courage to love without
requital, for I was certain that I could never love another. My heart
was and always would be Katara's, however unlucky for me.

"Jeez, Twinkletoes, are you deaf?" I felt a sharp thump on my arm,
bringing me back promptly to the present; it was Toph. We were at
Firelord Zuko's beach house on Ember Island. "I asked if you've seen
Horonko?"

"No! Why? We're going surfing in a bit."

"I thought we were flying back to the Earth Kingdom this morning,"
said she, a little annoyed.

"We will, I promise," I replied as I picked up my beach towel from the
porch's railing. "Here's Horonka."

"Look, Toph, you're the one who wanted to leave this early," said
Horonka, as he approached in shorts and a towel slung casually over
one of his tanned shoulder while Momo sat perched on his other
shoulder. "The only thing I want to do right now is relax, enjoy the
beach and maybe do some surfing later. We've been working nonstop
these past few months. I'd say we deserve this break."

"Don't worry, Toph," I encouraged in an attempt to crush the birth of
an argument in the face of Horonka's provocation, "we're going to get
you to Earth Rumble in good time. Appa should get us there within a
day's journey."

"He'd better," muttered she under her breath, before storming off into
the house where Mai and Zuko were still within having breakfast.

"She's such a brat!" observed Horonka. "Why do you always give in to
her? You shouldn't encourage her to act any more spoiled than she
already is."

"Hey, where there's a way to peace, I'll gladly take it," I said in my
own defense. "Besides, Toph's a good friend; any chance I get to do
something good for her, I will."

"I thought you wanted to see your friends," he said frowning. "Aren't
they arriving this afternoon?"

He was right. Sokka, Suki and Katara were expected in the harbors of
the Fire Nation by dusk, providing that the tide was good. At least,
that's what Fire Lord Zuko had told us a few days ago. That news had
been somewhat of a mixed joy for me. It had been four long years since
I had seen Katara; I yearned to see her…but I also feared for my
heart. I had come to realize then that all these years I had been
deceiving myself; as long as she was a continent away, I could be
strong and even congratulate myself on being so. As soon as I was
confronted with the ambivalent pleasure of seeing her again, my doubts
had returned in full measure to beset me. I had to fortify myself
against all dreadful possibilities; the worse of these being that she
was betrothed to another; the next worse being that I was unable to
enjoy her company without a tragic sense of loss. I had always
imagined that by the time of our next meeting I would be comfortable
enough with my own shielding to be able to withstand any news that
might be injurious to my feelings and to truly rejoice with her as her
best friend.

"Hey Aang, didn't you hear me?" I heard Horonka's impatient voice
asking. "What's with you today?"

"Eh, yeah, sorry about that," I replied. "We'll be back in time to see
them anyway. It's not often that Toph asks me to do her a favor; and
Zuko's banquet is not until next week. Our friends will be here for a
while."

"But you know how it is with us. We're always being called away at the
most inconvenient times."

He was right again. "Yeah, but I'm willing to take the chance."

By late afternoon, our friends from the Water Tribe had not arrived,
and with a little regret and some relief on my part, we were forced to
begin our journey back to the Earth Kingdom.